All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s04e19 Once Upon A Time

Thank you.

do do do do do do do

you stapler.

Why? What do you need it for?

Because I want to staple these pages
together. I just wrote a story.

Okay. Do you want me to read it to you?

Sure, precious. I'm always up to a good
story.

Okay.

Come on.

Where are we going?

Part of it.

Okay.

Now, you have to pay attention.

Right.

And don't say anything until I'm
finished with the story. You won't say a

You can... Hmm?

You can hold that. All right.

I'll hold it.

No, wrong side. Sorry.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Thank you. Mm -hmm. Okay.

It's Hi, Liz, a story by Rudy Huxley. Mm
-hmm.

Once upon a time, there was a happy
land. It was a very beautiful place with

many beautiful things to look at.

Everybody was...

Hi. Hi.

Go ahead. I'm listening.

You're supposed to be awake. I am. I'm
awake. I heard everything you said. What

did I say? You said, well, once upon a
time, there was a frog and he kissed a

princess and she turned into an ape. And
it was definitely a rat.

I'm not listening.

Read on. Start from the top. Here we go.

Once upon a time. Once upon a time.

There was a happy land. Happy. It was a
very beautiful place.

with many beautiful things to look at.

Everybody who lived in this land was
happy all day long.

The leader was a wise man named Mr.
Mayor.

Oh, what a lovely day!

But then it's always a lovely day in
this happy land.

There was also a farm. It belonged to
Mr.

and Mrs. Farmer. They grew a special
food that everyone loved to eat. It was

called Blueberry.

My, what a great flubaroo harvest we've
had. Yes, there are flubaroos as far as

the eye can see.

Honey, we've been working very hard all
day. I think we deserve a flubaroo

break. You're right.

Mmm, delicious.

There was also a man who told people all
the news, and the news is always happy.

Now listen, all you people to what's
going down.

Things could not be much better in this
good news town.

So come on, party people, and check it
out to find out what the good news is

about. It's all about, folks. It's all
about.

Everyone in the land liked to sing
songs, and the song needle was a

maiden.

I forgot.

There was a sweet and pretty flower
girl. She liked to grow flowers and give

them to everyone.

Every day there was a parade, and the
parade was led by the town band leader.

It was a small parade, but everyone
liked it just the same.

In this land, there were lots of toys
for everyone.

And each day, Mr. Mayor handed them out
so all the people could play.

And school was never inside. It was
always outside.

There was no homework, and between
lessons, everybody sang.

All right, all right, everyone. Today
we're going to sing the official song of

our land.

And five, six, five, six, seven, eight.

It's a beautiful day.

Everyone in this place has a smile on
his face.

We love living here. Yes, we love living
here.

And we're sorry you're there. Oh, so
sorry you're there. Because if you were

with us, we know you'd be happy too.

People in this clan liked each other
very much.

But there were other people in a
different land, not far away, who didn't

them. They didn't like much of anything.

Announce me, or you're fired.

Hear ye!

Hear ye!

Announcing his royal king is the most
feared man in the land, and a man you

don't want to mess with.

That's dead.

Hear ye! Hear ye!

Announcing another rotten person, the
Duke of Doom.

You can't!

And what mean things have you planned
for us today?

I want to boss some more people around.
Let's go to war. Yeah, war.

Now you're talking.

And what people should we war against,
your meanness?

I can't know everything.

Bring in the wizard.

Wizard, coming for us. Coming for us,
wizard.

Here comes the wizard.

Greetings, your majesty.

So tell me, what would you have me
conjure for you today?

I want to go to war.

And I want you to find somebody to
fight. Well, let me look in my crystal

Don't tell me less. Don't tell me more.
Just tell me who we should fight in war.

Wait a second.

It's kind of fuzzy in here.

This ball must have been on the radiator
too long. I can't see anything.

where everyone is happy.

I hate happy people. They think they're
hot stuff.

Well, happy people are not too bad. Some
of my best friends are happy people.

Well,

happy people stink, actually. I think we
should waste them.

Tell me more, wizard.

Their land is across the ocean and past
the desert. They have toys for everyone

and they like to sing.

They sound like wimps. That does it.

I hereby declare war.

War it is, your highness, and your most
horrendous attackiveness.

First, let's sing our song.

We're done.

Let's make him welcome.

I'll give him a flower.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Hello?

Who goes there?

I am the dupe of dupe, and don't you
forget it.

Would you like a flubaroo?

No.

Well, how nice to see you. Why have you
come?

Because you're a big...

will be attacking at noon tomorrow,
signed the King of Nasty.

Well, isn't that nice? They want to have
war with us.

What is war?

I don't know.

Mr. Mayor, you're the wisest of us all.
Do you know what a war is?

Well, I know what a door is and what a
store is, but I can't say I know what a

war is.

Oh, well, that's all right. We'll just
look it up in the dictionary.

conflict between two parties.

Open arm parties?

All right, party down. Open arms.

How do you do that? You do it like this.

You open your arms and you pop. Hey.

That looks like lots of fun.

Well, let's all do it. Yeah.

magic to protect us in battle no problem
your majesty oh before we fight

on this battlefield protect us all with
an invisible seal kazam it is done

i don't see anything that's because it's
invisible but trust me we are totally

protected nothing can touch us

seen a war like this one, your highness.

What should we do?

Draw your swords.

What do you do with those?

We chop you into little bits and pieces.

I'm out of here.

Chop us into little bits and pieces?
These are advanced weapons that you

don't know about.

I don't think we want to fight with you
if you're going to use those.

Then in the name of his horrendousness,
we declare this.

Everything was lousy.

After the war ended, things got bad
right away.

Okay, listen up. There's gonna be some
change around here, and I'm your new

king. Your Majesty, why don't you let me
change them all into frogs?

You can't even change a dollar.

Majesty, should I read them the new
rules?

up and say, you are a fabulous guy.

Rule number four, there will be no
parties in town unless we have them.

Rule number five, none of you are
invited to our party.

Now I was with you up until that one.

of this land, I must protest the
treatment of my people.

Rule number eight.

Anyone who protests is going to get it.

Majesty, why don't you let me imprison
him in my crystal ball?

Excellent. Very nasty idea.

Oh, this mayor who has such gall.

It is time for him to fall now in front
of one and all.

Inside this wall, I will not give up
until you are driven from our land.

You have a long way.

Freedom, the last rule.

Rule number nine.

You will only sing our songs.

You cannot sing songs of your own
anymore.

But we're a singing people.

We must sing our songs.

But perhaps you and I could sing a few
duets. I could arrange that if you get

idea. It's been silent. I beg your
pardon for your interruptedness.

And so...

some more broccoli.

I wish we could eat one of our
flubaroos.

Well, honey, there is something I've
been hiding for us.

A flubaroo!

Oh, that's wonderful!

Tonight we'll have flubaroo soup and
flubaroo stew and flubaroo casserole!

and for dessert, flubaroo soup!

All the toys I own.

Sir, thank you for such a lovely gift.

Gift? You're making me give them to you,
and I think it stinks.

Hey, hey, hey!

You watch your mouth, buddy!

Now, let me ask you a question, all
right? You took all our toys. Now, what

everybody in town supposed to play with?
Oh, you want to play with something,

right? Yeah.

Play with those rocks.

disgusting. You forgot something.

What? Rule number three. Oh yeah, I
forgot.

You're a fabulous guy.

Thank you. You're a fabulous guy.

I'm going for a walk.

All right.

What are you doing?

Picking flowers.

You're not allowed to pick flowers.

picking flowers now there is rule number
12 no picking flowers

hey aren't you forgetting something what
rule number

three you're supposed to tell me i'm a
fabulous guy

It's a very beautiful dress you have on.
Your notes are looking mighty sharp.

I wish that I could say good morning
back to you, but I don't speak to people

who conquer us and make up terrible
rules.

Oh, I don't make up the rules. These are
the king's rules. If I didn't follow

them, I'd lose my job.

But you don't have to follow them. Well,
if I don't, he'll fire me, and who's

going to pay for my condo?

So you mean that you're in this just for
the money?

Well, no, of course there are other
benefits. I have a wonderful health and

dental plan.

And then there's two weeks out of the
year that I get to go on vacation and

cruise and pillage.

You played your cards right.

You could come along and pillage with
me.

I'd rather sit on a cactus plant.

We could do that, too, if you'd like.

Because the people had to live by the
new rules.

They really didn't like it.

But the people who took over the land
liked it a lot.

They had a party every day.

How do you like that? We do all the work
around here and all they do is party.

Yeah, it's not fair.

Well, you know, it looks like a stupid
party anyway. I wouldn't go in there if

you paid me.

Whoa, check her out.

Don't even look at her. She's one of
them.

Hey, I think she likes me.

Don't pay any attention to her.

Catch you later.

Wait a minute. You can't dance with
them. They're the enemy.

With enemies like that, who needs
friends?

I can remember when that rainbow had a
lot of colors.

It'll have colors for you soon.

I don't think so.

I don't think we'll ever get to sing our
songs again.

We will.

No, we won't. We'll probably have to eat
broccoli for the rest of our lives.

Oh, what a tragedy. This is awful. I
can't imagine a worse thing happening.

is it? The town crier has gone over to
the enemy.

He's there now, dancing.

This is the end.

But there's no hope for us now. We can't
fight them. Their weapons are too much

for us. I guess I'll be in this world
forever. We'll just have to get used to

the way things are.

The flower girl hated to see how sad
everybody was.

She wanted things to be the way they
used to be.

So she decided to do something about it.

What? I said stop!

And? And what?

And what happened next?

That's it, the end.

No, no, honey, what happened after the
flower girl said stop?

Everyone stopped.

They stopped what? They stopped dancing?

No, stopped everything.

Stopped the rules and stopped being
mean.

Well, what about the Duke of Doom?

Stop. And what happened to the evil
king?

Stopped. And the henchman?

Stopped. And the wizard stopped, too.

But, Rudy, I don't understand. Why did
everyone stop?

Because the flower girl told them to.

Now, that is a very interesting story
you've written. And I love what the

girl does in the end.

I'm going to do that, too, when I become
president.

You're going to become president?

Yes, president of the world.

I'm going to get on the bullhorn.

And then I'm going to tell all the bad
people to stop it. Really? And then I'm

going to tell them to throw all their
bombs and guns in the ocean so there'll

no more fighting.

Stop it.

Eight separatist rebels and one soldier
were killed during a one -hour gun

battle outside the embassy at noon
today.

Security at the embassy has been
increased in response to... The

strafing a village when it was shot down
by a heat -seeking missile.

Tape of the crash was taken by our field
correspondent.

Hey, Rudy, you better hurry up and
become president of the world, because

need you right now.

Please. In other news, the world's first
150 -megaton nuclear warhead. was

tested successfully at an underground
site yesterday.

The bomb is said to have the capability
to destroy a 2 ,000 square mile area.

Take me for a studio audience.