All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s04e18 Waterworks

Thank

you.

Do -do -do -do -do -do -do.

Do -do -do -do -do -do.

me hg whoa oh oh man what's the matter
hey

you all right what happened i was taking
a shower and the towel fell off the

wall into the tub well it probably heard
your rap and wanted to drown itself now

where's the toolbox i'll get the glue
and pop it right back no no no son

a right way to put that on in the wrong
way i know the right way i'll do it be

right back

Mom, Mom, Mom.

We're in trouble.

This tile fell off the wall into the
tub, and Dad's going to get his toolbox

fix it.

Well, is it just this one tile?

Yeah. Oh, well, we don't have a problem
then. That's the kind of job he can

handle, honey. It's the big ones we have
to worry about.

So we let him do the small jobs. It
keeps him happy, and he doesn't tear up

house.

Mom, this is why you're Mom.

I hear you're going to fix a tile.

That's right.

You're looking mighty cute in that tool
belt.

Got one in suede, too.

Well, not much of a challenge, but I'm
up to it.

Now, Theo, I want you to pay attention
to this because sometime when you get

married, If you have a family, you're
going to have to do something like this.

Grab a little of the glue.

Give a little tap here.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

And just like they do on TV.

You know how they make it look smooth, I
guess.

Put this in like this. And you place
this in like so, gently.

Give it a little firm.

Now comes the big one.

Pull him on out.

Huh? Look out.

Fire,

fire, fire, fire.

And you just work it so nicely. Don't
worry about anything. Just like they do

TV. And they just smooth it.

Wait a minute. Just push that back up
like that.

There you go. And we don't panic.

If something falls out, you just go
ahead and...

over this way and put that back like
that. You see how smooth that is, son?

Looking smooth.

And this way, reach over and we grab
this.

See, and you can just smooth it right on
up. And even though it's like that,

don't worry about anything.

Just like they do on TV.

Just don't worry. It'll be just like
that. There, and you knock it in.

See? And it's all set.

I'm going to tell you exactly what the
problem is here, see?

There is a leaky pipe back here, and
that's what's causing all of this. So

I'm going to have to do now is bust
through here to get back to the leaky

pipe, see? But, Cliff, you're not
thinking of doing that by yourself. Oh,

no, no. I'll get Theo to help me, see?

All I have to do is just get back here
to this pipe. Cliff, I need Theo's help

in the kitchen. Oh, well, then I'll do
it by myself.

All right.

Okay.

Sure would now.

May have to get my suede belt for this
one.

Did you hear what your father said? He
is getting ready to go into the wall.

Mom, he's never gone into a wall before.
I know.

We've got to stop him. He could tear
this whole house down.

You never know, Mom.

Maybe Dad can do the job.

We better stop him.

Thank you.

We're going to get the plumber.

All right.

You take these pages and go downstairs
to your father's office. Call everybody

on the list. I'll make calls from up
here.

Now, how do I know which of any of you
guys is any good? It really doesn't

matter, Theo. Call everybody on the
list. If 15 people show up, so what?

Hello?

Apex Plumbers?

Yes. Could you please... Come over and
stop my husband.

No, this is an emergency.

Well, how much are they paying you? I'll
pay you double.

This is really taking too much time,
dear. Why don't you think about it for

minutes and I'll call you back.

Hey.

How's it going up there?

Everything's going just fine. I'm just
trying to remember where I put my

sledgehammer.

Sledgehammer? Yeah, I think I left it
over Jeffrey Ingalls' house. Oh, Jeffrey

Ingalls went on vacation.

No, he didn't. I saw him picking up a
newspaper this morning. I'll be right

back, hon.

And then, whammo!

Yes, plumber? Oh, Sandra.

Sandra, honey, I'm sorry.

I really can't talk to you right now,
darling. We are in the midst of a family

crisis. Your father is getting ready to
go into the wall.

It's a plumbing problem, Sandra. It's a
leak.

Yes, dear. I know that, Sandra.

Darling, this is not the time for
wilderness psychology.

What I need is a plumber.

Thank you.

Friends of yours, are they reliable?

Give me the number.

I'm sorry, Sandra.

You're sure that wasn't their truck?
Mama said dry cleaning on it. Oh, good.

Well, just keep looking, honey. Okay.

Mom. Mom.

Dad is putting a big X on the wall. I
think he's about to hit it with a

sledgehammer. Oh, no.

Hey, stop.

Stop. This is a house.

Vanessa, quick.

Quick, get up the stairs and help your
father.

Distract him and talk to him. What do
you want me to say?

Tell him to explain the facts of life to
you.

Thank you. Hi.

Hi. How you doing?

Well, Mom, these are the people you
called.

Yes. Where's your boss? Oh, we are the
boss.

I know you're the boss, honey, but I
mean the older person who hired you, who

supervises the work. No, there is no
older person. We do all the work. But

you're so young.

Can you handle a job like this?

I can take it from here.

It's a beautiful hole, isn't it, dear?

It's a beautiful hole.

Now, there are three professional
plumbers downstairs who have come here

this job.

But I've already started.

Yes, I can see that.

And you're doing a beautiful job. But I
think that this is best for everyone

involved. You know, you're going to have
to pay them a lot of money.

Yes.

I'm doing this for free.

And that's exactly what I'm afraid it's
going to look like.

So I want you to come downstairs and
meet them because I really believe

that you're going to like them.

And I'm warning you.

My dad may not be too receptive to you
being here, but on behalf of the rest of

the family, I really want to thank you.
Well, we haven't done anything yet. Oh,

yes, you have. You're here.

Now, dear, these are the three
professionals who have come to do the

Hi, I'm Jennifer.

Andy.

And I'm Ted.

We're the home healers.

So you're professionals?

Yes, sir, that's right. We're friends of
Sondra and Alvin's. We graduated from

Princeton with them. You graduated from
Princeton?

Yeah. I didn't know that Princeton has a
plumbing major.

What was your

major? Art history.

Art history.

Right. And what do you do?

Welding and fixture installation.

And what was your major?

Well, I majored in psychology and
minored in anthropology, and I do the

plumbing. I have a master's degree in
electrical engineering.

So at least you do the electrical work.
Well, no. I do the plastering.

Well, I guess you'd like to get started
right away.

I'll show it to you.

Okay. I

like these people,

Cliff. I say we tell them to get started
right away.

Okay. But if they mess up, I just want
you to give me the opportunity to go

behind them and do it right.

Okay. All right.

Now, ma 'am, I'm glad you had me back.

no this stays with me

hi

hi you don't mind if i watch do you no
not at all all right I just cut out that

defective pipe above the fitting, and
now I'm going to replace it with this

Couldn't you have stopped the leak just
as well with a clamp?

No, that would only stop it temporarily.
This new pipe's going to stop it a lot

better than a clamp would.

Yeah, that's what I would have done.

So now all I have to do is put this new
elbow on the pipe.

Well, that doesn't look too easy. It
looks like a two -man job to me.

Well, you know, it could be a two -man
job, but it also could be a one -woman

job.

I hear you.

You know, I could use an assistant.

Really? Well, I can go get my stuff
right away.

Great. Be right back.

No, you're not. You're trying to bother
me.

No, I'm not. It's your imagination.

You have been pestering me all day. Now
I want you to stop.

But I'm bored.

Well, of course you're bored, Rudy.
You're a boring person.

Why don't you try to develop some
interest?

I mean, read a good book.

Do artwork.

Go to a museum.

I mean, look at me. I'm a well -rounded
person.

frog thing.

I'm not even going to dignify that with
a reply.

Okay, I'm going to get in.

Dad!

Dad, Vanessa just threatened me and I
wasn't doing anything.

Listen to me. I came down here to get my
pipe wrench because I am needed

upstairs.

Now, whatever it is... that you all are
doing to make each other angry?

Stop it. Understand?

Yes, Dad.

I have work to do.

Back.

I like your belt.

Yeah. You got one in suede, too.

So, what do you want me to do?

I'm finished.

No, I could have... used you, but it was
a lot easier than I thought. So I'm

just going to clean up now and be on my
way because Andy's coming over and he's

going to put in the new fixtures. New
fixtures. I'm good at fixtures.

Well, you know, you can maybe ask him if
he needs your help. Yeah.

All right. All right.

Fixtures, Jack.

Do up some fixtures.

All right.

So you were friends with Sandra at
Princeton.

Yeah. We were in a lot of psychology
classes together.

Yeah.

Sandra majors in psychology, and just
like you, she's not doing anything in

psychology either.

Yep, and I think we both made smart
decisions.

But don't you think that it's strange
that you would enter a prestigious

college, not to mention an expensive
one, and that you would study in a field

that is rewarding, yet you all threw it
away?

I don't feel like I threw it away. I
just decided to become a plumber and not

psychologist.

See, I don't believe that a person can
find fulfillment in life if they just

focus on one field of study.

I wanted to be a doctor. I entered that
field, and I am still a doctor. My wife

wanted to be a lawyer. She entered that
field. She is still a lawyer, and we

feel fulfilled.

All I'm saying is that I know some
people who didn't go with their field,

they did okay.

Like who?

Like Gandhi.

Gandhi.

Gandhi studied law.

Gauguin. He was a banker before he was a
painter.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. He was a doctor
before he wrote Sherlock Holmes.

All those people are dead.

All right, all right. What about Shirley
Chisholm? What about Shirley Chisholm?

Shirley Chisholm, she got a master's in
elementary education and then she became

a congresswoman.

And even you, you became a doctor.

And I see that there is this plumber in
you that just wants to get out.

If I decided to quit my practice, would
you hire me?

No.

Because I have seen your work.

Showerhead? Dr. Huxtable, it's 18 years
old.

I know that. I put it in myself.

Yeah, I know. And you did a great job.

But showerheads have come a long way
since this one.

Now, I can give you one that has five
different spray settings.

I'll show it to you when I bring the new
pipe in from the truck.

Really? What else do you have in the
truck?

We have everything.

Really? I'm talking pipe.

I'm talking torches, portable pumps.

I even have a three -speed pneumatic
drill.

Want to see the drill?

You want to see the drill?

Yeah.

Let's go.

Are you

going somewhere?

Yes, I'm going to Janet's.

Can I come?

After what you put me through today?

No way.

I'm not going to name any of my children
after you.

I don't care.

I wouldn't even name my dog after you.

Well, I wouldn't name my children or my
dog after you because Rudy is a silly

name. Well, if a dog looked at you, it
would turn around and run because you're

a frog face.

I'm tired, you see.

Hello?

Yeah. How far apart are they?

Okay, I'm on my way.

No, stop, stop. Go read a book.

Yeah,

I'll be right there.

I said, what?

Now that was dance. Seriously, what's
the dance for? Hi, how are you? How are

you?

Ladies,

here are your sandwiches.

Ladies,

I'll be right back.

Where's your pants?

I know what you're thinking, but that's
not what's going on. You see, I know

while you're away, you will want someone
to come in and supervise. So I turned

on a little music, made some sandwiches,
and I want you to know they're doing a

beautiful job.

Ted was supposed to be doing the
plastering. no ted's doing the tiles

georgia do the plastering well i'm just
gonna go back in the bathroom and finish

supervising i think you need to
supervise putting your pants on and

supervise yourself going to the library

and we're very sorry we took that extra
day, but we wanted to make sure we got

it just right.

Well, it is very clean in here. Thank
you. Why don't you come in, have a

look. I want you to make sure you got
just what you wanted.

Yes, I think you've done a fine job.

Oh, thank you, Mrs. Huxtable.

Unfortunately, it's time for the most
unpleasant part of the job. I have to

you your bill.

Oh, well, if it's that unpleasant, why,
give it to us.

That's a good one, Dr.

Huxtable. Oh, thank you. Listen, you two
look it over. If you have any

questions, I'll be downstairs with Andy
and Jennifer. Thank you. Thank you very

much.

Now,

how much did they pay at that page?
Well, it's not the price they quoted.

They ran it up on us. It's 20 % under
the estimate, and I think that now would

be a good time for you to go downstairs.

And apologize to these young people.

For what?

You were on their case the moment they
walked in the house.

You doubted their ability to do the job.
You stood over them, breathing down

their necks while they worked.

You pestered them about throwing their
educations away.

No, just looking over that work we did,
we did a good job.

All right. Excellent, excellent.

All right.

Well, how's it look up there? We are
very satisfied. I'm going to write your

check, and while I do, my husband has
something to say.

No, I don't.

I want to thank all of you, really.

And the job is beautiful. I apologize.

You didn't have to say that.

Well, yes, I did.

Here you are, paid in full.

Oh, thank you.

All right, we should get going, you
guys. We've got another job to do. And

you ever need us again, please don't
hesitate to call. All right.

Enjoy that showerhead. Yes, sir.

Thank you. Bye -bye. Goodbye.

Goodbye, and thank you.

Cliff, I am very proud of you. Did you
see their little faces when they left?

Especially when they got the money.

Now, can I have my fledgehammer back?

You can find it. Huh?

Well, you know where I'm going to look.

Thank you.

The show was taped before a studio
audience.