All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s04e13 The Show Must Go On
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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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Thank you.
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Buh -bye.
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late. 40 minutes.
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That's it. Here we go.
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We can't leave yet. Peter and his
brother aren't here yet. They ought to
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in a minute. We can wait a minute for
them, okay?
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Dr. Huxtable. Yes. Will we like the show
we're going to see?
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Of course you are going to like it. It's
called Salute to Vaudeville and they
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have clowns, they have comics. Do they
have a blues band? I dig the blues.
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I don't think there's going to be a
blues band.
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There they are. There they are. There
they are.
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Ha! All right. On time.
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How are you, Mr. Chiara? Hi.
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And my friend?
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How are you, Peter? And look at your
brother, Paul.
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Hi, Dr.
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Huxford. Good to see you again. What's
new?
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Well, I guess everything's all right.
What's with you?
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Same old thing.
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Life goes on. You know how it is. Oh,
yeah.
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I certainly do.
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I'll bring him home in time for dinner,
all right? Thanks. Okay, you guys.
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All right, we're going to see a salute
to vaudeville. Everybody understand the
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rules? Yeah!
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Now, this is my team.
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You're all going to be well behaved.
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We will be well behaved.
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You will keep your hands to yourselves.
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We will keep our hands to ourselves.
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No taking anybody's scarf or hat,
rolling down the window, putting your
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and using it as a flag.
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Let the show begin.
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Let the show begin.
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Forward, hop.
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Hey,
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how you doing, Robert?
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This is amazing.
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I was on my way over here. You must have
picked up on my vibes because you were
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waiting for me at the door.
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00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:51,460
No, Robert, I didn't pick up on
anything. See, I'm taking the kids out.
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going in the station wagon.
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See, you believe you were taking the
kids to the station wagon, but I believe
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it's all a part of the big plan. It's
called synchronicity.
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Yeah, okay.
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Well, Vanessa is in the kitchen. See ya.
Oh, no, but I came to see you. No, I
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don't think you came to see me because
I'm going.
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No, see, I wanted to share something
with you.
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This book will open new horizons for
you. It's called The Cosmic Me by Kublai
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Atif. Uh -huh. If you read this book,
it'll answer all your questions about
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place in the universe.
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Yeah, well, right now my play is with
the kids in the station wagon.
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Well, I'll wait for you. No, no, no, you
don't wait for me.
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Because, see, you and I will be
synchromeshing down the freeway of life.
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Just a little towards the light, please.
Thank you.
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This is Huxtable. I am really happy that
you're helping me with my election
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campaign. Well, I know Dr. Huxtable
wanted to help you too, but between you
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me, sometimes his campaign slogans get a
little strange.
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Yeah, Dad already suggested vote for
Janet, she'll save the planet.
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Hi. Hi, Robert.
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Robert, what are you doing here? Oh, I
came over to see your father, but he had
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to leave, so I'm just waiting.
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Excuse me.
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I don't believe we've met.
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At least not in this lifetime.
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My name is Morgan.
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Morgan? Wow, that's a pretty name. It
befits you.
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Thanks. If you don't mind me saying
this, you have an aura about you. A
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I'm not afraid to admit I'm drawn to it.
Why don't we go to the store and pick
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up some more supplies?
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Good idea. Hey, let me come along.
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00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:35,680
No, no, you stay here. Yeah, Robert, I
think you better stay here. You can pick
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up some more campaign slogans for my
election.
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00:05:38,140 --> 00:05:41,300
Oh, okay. I'll come up with slogans that
make people aware of your cosmic
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essence.
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00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:46,460
You know, many festivals, fate works in
strange ways.
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00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,980
I realize now why I was brought over
here today.
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Oh? To meet and marry Morgan.
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00:05:53,340 --> 00:05:56,660
I feel our destinies are intertwined in
a way that can't be denied.
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00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,960
Robert? Yeah? I am suddenly feeling very
tired.
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Would you mind if I took a little nap?
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00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:04,920
Oh, no, not at all. You don't have to
entertain me. Whenever I'm here, I feel
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really at home. It's like I've been here
forever.
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I feel the same way, Robert.
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This is the address in the paper.
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In the car, you tell them it's going to
be a big old fancy theater with
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chandeliers and velvet seats.
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This place is nothing like that. Yeah,
this is a dump.
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Oh, hi.
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Hi. I'm Pamela.
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You can sit down wherever you like.
Front row.
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00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:47,000
Where do we get the popcorn?
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I'm afraid we don't have popcorn.
93
00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:53,160
What do you have? Just coffee. Do you
have coffee ice cream?
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No, just coffee.
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00:06:55,420 --> 00:06:58,620
I'm really glad someone finally showed
up. This is the most people we've had
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00:06:58,620 --> 00:06:59,479
here in weeks.
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You mean we're the only ones who are
going to be here?
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00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:04,220
Look that way.
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We could start the show immediately if
you like.
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Okay, just one second.
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Okay,
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they're going to start the show now.
Does anyone here have to go to the
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bathroom?
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Is there anyone here who wants a drink
of water?
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Can I have a milkshake?
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00:07:24,120 --> 00:07:25,980
No, dear. They just have coffee.
107
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I'll have a cup of coffee.
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Nobody's going to have any coffee. All
right. Now, have we got that straight?
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Straight? Straight.
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All right.
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Thank you. Okay.
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Chuck.
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00:08:02,810 --> 00:08:04,910
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
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We're boys and girls.
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00:08:06,990 --> 00:08:08,010
And boys and girls.
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And daddies. And daddies.
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We have any mommies out there?
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No, she's at home.
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Oh, fine.
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00:08:14,630 --> 00:08:18,110
Well, welcome to a salute to Vaudeville.
It's a thrilling, scintillating
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afternoon of entertainment guaranteed to
keep you glued to your seat.
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Didn't I ask earlier if anybody had to
go to the bathroom?
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Yes. Well... I didn't have to go then.
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Neither. I'm sorry.
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No problem.
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Where is it?
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Okay, come on. Let's go.
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Yes. Is this Vaudeville?
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00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:04,050
Well, this is a salute to Vaudeville.
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00:09:04,270 --> 00:09:05,670
Did Vaudeville have a blues band?
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00:09:06,390 --> 00:09:08,170
No, no blues band.
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Too bad he digs the blues.
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I'm sorry.
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00:09:20,070 --> 00:09:21,970
Shouldn't be any more interruptions.
Please.
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00:09:22,610 --> 00:09:24,890
Thank you. And now, Pamela, the lights.
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Ladies and gentlemen, and... Boys and
girls and daddies and mobbies who are
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00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,760
home. I'd like to introduce our first
performer.
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He is the great Valentine.
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Take your time. Always a few slow
readers.
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Name dropper. What do you say?
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We get on with the show.
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Best crowd we've had here in years.
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Pamela, the garbage.
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war surplus. Every piece of it.
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00:09:58,770 --> 00:09:59,770
Thank you, dear.
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00:10:02,050 --> 00:10:04,290
No trick. Just keeping the dust off the
basket.
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Here we go.
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00:10:07,970 --> 00:10:08,970
Up.
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00:10:10,350 --> 00:10:11,630
Not bad for the first, sir.
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00:10:12,090 --> 00:10:13,610
Only the beginning. Only the beginning.
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00:10:18,970 --> 00:10:20,750
Don't laugh. You may have bags in your
pants.
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00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:24,730
This is the best trick I do in the whole
act.
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00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,860
From the empty paper bag, I produce a 68
-pound pigeon.
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That's the small one. Here we go.
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Give them all you've got.
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That's all.
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At the count of three, the pigeon.
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One, two, you know.
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Come out, flyin'. They're waiting.
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Let's go.
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Up!
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Fly, boy, fly!
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And now, here's the one you've all been
waiting for.
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Not that one. The rabbit!
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00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,040
From the top hat.
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00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:58,480
All magicians do it. Why shouldn't I?
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00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:01,000
You pass us over the hat for the old
dusteroo.
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00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:02,460
Inside the hat.
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00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:03,920
What happened to the dusteroo?
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00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,360
Inside the hat.
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00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,640
Well, if you're going to watch that
close, the trick is off.
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I'll give him the big one now. I'll make
the whole audience disappear.
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00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:15,140
Get around.
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There they go, Kemosabe.
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And now, tense moment in the act.
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Not for you. Me.
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I pluck 10 ,000 cards one at a time at
my fingertips.
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10 ,000.
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00:11:30,710 --> 00:11:32,270
I gotta see that myself.
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10 ,000.
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Wake him up!
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Were you that funny?
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00:11:47,950 --> 00:11:49,030
Huh? It was.
184
00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:52,290
Well, it was hilarious, honey.
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00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,340
I guess it would be funny if we were
old.
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00:11:57,420 --> 00:11:59,740
Daddy, can we stop for ice cream on the
way home?
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00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:02,260
Sure, sure we can. Can we go home now?
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00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,620
No, give it a chance, all right?
189
00:12:05,740 --> 00:12:07,700
Look at that. Are they cleaning up or
what?
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00:12:08,300 --> 00:12:09,320
This is boring.
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00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,000
The great Valentine, wasn't he
something?
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00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:14,139
Yes, he was.
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Now, before I introduce this next very
entertaining act, which I'm sure you're
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00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:21,960
going to enjoy, I just want to ask, does
anybody have to go to the bathroom?
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00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:23,320
I do.
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00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:28,340
But you just went.
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That time I only washed my hands.
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00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:33,540
I'm sorry.
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Pamela, the light.
200
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:37,140
Anybody else have to go?
201
00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:54,320
The girls just went for another walk.
202
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,500
Isn't that the third walk they've taken
in the last hour?
203
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:01,800
Yeah. This is causing tremendous
problems in my relationship with Morgan.
204
00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:05,120
I didn't realize you had a relationship
with Morgan.
205
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,020
Oh, definitely. That woman is going to
be my wife.
206
00:13:09,820 --> 00:13:10,900
Does she know this, Robert?
207
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,300
Well, I think she has a sense of it.
Right before they took this walk, I was
208
00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:18,400
telling her, Morgan, you and I are like
two stalks of corn planted in the field
209
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,960
of spiritual oneness waiting for the
harvest of love.
210
00:13:26,610 --> 00:13:27,870
I'm going for a walk.
211
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:32,590
It's so funny.
212
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:35,990
Two stalks of what waiting where for
which?
213
00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:39,830
Robert, you're one of a kind.
214
00:13:40,150 --> 00:13:41,150
I know.
215
00:13:42,290 --> 00:13:44,130
I guess I'm just on a higher plane.
216
00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:45,450
You got that right.
217
00:13:45,570 --> 00:13:47,990
Do you think that's why girls I like
don't like me back?
218
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,440
Robert, that's not for me to say.
219
00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:52,860
No, please. I'd like your opinion. I
could use it.
220
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:54,280
What am I doing wrong?
221
00:13:54,980 --> 00:13:57,740
Well, for one thing, Robert, as soon as
you meet a girl, you want to marry her,
222
00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:58,900
and you don't know anything about her.
223
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,860
That's not true. Not true? What's
Morgan's last name?
224
00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:08,100
Um... I don't know, but it doesn't
matter because I wanted to have my last
225
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Robert, if you take my advice, you won't
rush things with Morgan. Just let
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00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:15,140
everything evolve naturally.
227
00:14:15,540 --> 00:14:16,540
You know, life is funny.
228
00:14:17,130 --> 00:14:19,970
I thought my purpose in coming here was
to meet and marry Morgan.
229
00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:22,530
Now I realize my true reason.
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00:14:23,490 --> 00:14:25,770
Partake of the wisdom of Mrs.
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00:14:25,970 --> 00:14:26,970
Claire Huxley.
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00:14:28,010 --> 00:14:29,670
Last name, Robert.
233
00:14:29,870 --> 00:14:31,870
Get the girl's last name.
234
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,970
I'm sorry. Her comb went further down
the drain than I thought.
235
00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:42,590
Okay.
236
00:14:52,650 --> 00:14:54,150
Begin the show. Yes, sir, please.
237
00:14:55,030 --> 00:14:56,030
Pamela.
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00:14:56,210 --> 00:14:57,210
Well,
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00:14:59,150 --> 00:15:02,570
ladies and gentlemen, our next performer
has been seen in all the top comedy
240
00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:05,690
clubs in the Eastern Seaboard. Will you
give a rousing vaudeville welcome,
241
00:15:05,770 --> 00:15:09,270
please, to the Wall Street comic. He's
Andy Witherspoon III.
242
00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:12,869
Thank you.
243
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:13,870
Thank you.
244
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,870
As you can probably tell, I'm a business
school graduate.
245
00:15:17,470 --> 00:15:20,230
Are there any other business school
graduates out here today?
246
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,080
You, sir?
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00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:25,360
I'm a doctor.
248
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,180
Well, it doesn't matter.
249
00:15:29,020 --> 00:15:33,760
Anyway, at my business school, the dorm
rules were very strict. No corporate
250
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:34,860
raiding after midnight.
251
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,920
Also, after midnight, the students were
not allowed to merge.
252
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:49,580
Anyway, moving right along, after
business school, I went to Wall Street
253
00:15:49,580 --> 00:15:52,640
a job with a major investment firm. They
started me at the bottom.
254
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,760
I cleaned up after the bull every
morning.
255
00:15:57,820 --> 00:16:00,340
Which wasn't too bad because he only
left blue shit.
256
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:09,560
Would it help if I said I knew the
Smurfs personally?
257
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:12,600
I guess not.
258
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:21,820
You know, I read recently where a
university was using stockbrokers and
259
00:16:21,820 --> 00:16:22,820
medical experiments.
260
00:16:22,990 --> 00:16:26,030
But they had to stop because people felt
sorry for the rat.
261
00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,890
Kid, kid, kid.
262
00:16:34,110 --> 00:16:37,150
You know, my nephew told me some jokes
I'm sure you've never heard.
263
00:16:37,550 --> 00:16:39,850
What did the pen say to the paper?
264
00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:56,690
I bet you don't know this one.
265
00:16:57,110 --> 00:16:59,710
What did the rug say to the floor?
266
00:17:00,090 --> 00:17:02,590
Hands up. I've got you covered.
267
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:04,910
Good luck. Thank you. You've been a
wonderful audience.
268
00:17:09,349 --> 00:17:11,990
That was Andy Witherspoon III.
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00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:14,430
Come on out here, Andy, for another bow.
270
00:17:14,730 --> 00:17:15,730
Forget it.
271
00:17:19,150 --> 00:17:23,069
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I think I
see what may be called for here.
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00:17:23,430 --> 00:17:24,910
We will need just a...
273
00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:31,500
moment while the next act gets ready. So
if anybody has to go
274
00:17:31,500 --> 00:17:35,660
to the bathroom or anything, this would
be a good time.
275
00:17:38,780 --> 00:17:39,780
Yes, sir.
276
00:17:40,020 --> 00:17:41,020
No,
277
00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:44,840
you can't sneak out. It would be
impolite.
278
00:17:45,900 --> 00:17:47,000
Hope it gets better.
279
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,260
Hi. Hi.
280
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:51,360
Are you guys enjoying the show?
281
00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:53,300
Yeah.
282
00:17:59,950 --> 00:18:04,270
over here, and I was just wondering
about the next act.
283
00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:05,870
Now, who is it?
284
00:18:06,070 --> 00:18:08,810
Eddie, the emcee. Okay, now, what does
he do?
285
00:18:09,190 --> 00:18:14,750
Well, that's hard to describe. He does
this combination of physical, musical,
286
00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:19,310
comedy, dance thing with contemporary,
traditional clown things.
287
00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:21,110
A clown?
288
00:18:21,510 --> 00:18:22,750
Yeah. Aha!
289
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:26,050
Now comes the clown!
290
00:18:26,350 --> 00:18:27,350
Ta -da!
291
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,320
No, he doesn't do that anymore.
292
00:18:30,660 --> 00:18:31,940
Will he wear a red nose?
293
00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:33,860
Sorry, he's old at nose.
294
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:38,100
What kind of clown doesn't have a red
nose?
295
00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:42,640
Well, it doesn't make any difference if
he doesn't have a red nose. He's going
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00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:45,100
to be funny. You say that.
297
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:09,360
I'm sorry.
298
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:10,880
Button draw.
299
00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:17,220
All
300
00:19:17,220 --> 00:19:24,220
right.
301
00:21:46,070 --> 00:21:48,210
We'll show Dr. Huxtable what
vaudeville's all about.
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00:21:48,410 --> 00:21:50,050
Yeah, this has got to be good.
303
00:21:54,410 --> 00:21:55,530
Oh, sorry.
304
00:21:57,370 --> 00:21:58,370
Yeah,
305
00:21:58,890 --> 00:22:00,510
okay. All right, gang.
306
00:22:01,510 --> 00:22:04,510
Come on, that's it. We've all had a
wonderful time. Dr.
307
00:22:04,710 --> 00:22:06,690
Huxtable, the show's not quite over yet.
308
00:22:06,890 --> 00:22:10,330
Oh, it isn't? No, in the great
vaudevillian tradition, we have a little
309
00:24:28,490 --> 00:24:30,710
be sure to take me for a studio
audience.
22281
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