All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s04e12 The Locker Room

Thank you.

Thank you.

after you ate it.

Hey, how am I supposed to concentrate on
my game? Did you see those cheerleaders

practicing at the other end?

Lyle, the way you were shooting, it
looked like you were trying out for the

cheerleaders. Yeah? Well, the closest
you'll ever get to a cheerleader was in

that gym today.

Oh, good one. He got you, Gordon.

Lyle, you're just jealous because I went
out Tuesday night with Sherry Jarboe.

Big deal. I'm sure nothing happened
anyway. Then why have I been smiling for

past three days, huh?

Which reminds me, Theo, you haven't told
us what happened on your date with

Christy Evans.

Yeah, Theo.

Well, what's it worth to you? Knowing
you, probably three cents.

All right, fellas, go ahead and laugh,
but let's put it this way. If you guys

won the lottery, you still couldn't
afford my details.

Well,

if you're looking for an MVP, maybe I
should tell you about my date with Nancy

Jenkins. Oh, don't tell me you got the
first base with Nancy Jenkins. First

base? I hit it out of the park.

Thank you, thank you. I'll be signing
autographs for you.

What about you? You haven't said
anything.

Didn't you go out with, uh, Jennifer
Higgins? Yeah, Lyle, what happened? You

read all about it when the book comes
out. Oh, yeah. Thank you, Mother's Let

Buy It.

We are definitely all stars.

Yeah, when we graduate, they're gonna
put a plaque up in this locker room.

Yeah, and you know what it's gonna say?

On this site, send some real men to
learn everything they know from Lyle

Thompson.

Ladies and gentlemen, lovers of magic
and prestidigitation, I present for your

enjoyment that mistress of illusion,
that madam of mystery, that lady of

domain, the great Rudini!

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. And
thank you, my loyal assistant, Momina.

Are you ready to perform feats of magic,
oh great Rudini?

Yes, I'm ready.

and an ordinary drinking glass.

Please, hold your applause until the
end.

My assistant will pour milk into the
glass.

Momita, the milk.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Isn't
she beautiful?

Are you going to drink the milk, oh
great Houdini?

No, I'm going to make it disappear.

Impossible. You shall see, oh doubtful
one.

I shall now say the magic words.

Abracadabra, hocus pocus, make this milk
go out of focus.

Wait! Wait!

There is more.

Really? Now what has happened to the
milk, oh great Rudini? The milk has

a beautiful milk bottle.

How'd you do that? I cannot reveal my
secret to mere mortals.

I'm sorry. The mere mortal apologizes.
Would you go off to your magic room?

Okay. Thank you, and good night. You've
been a terrific audience.

Isn't she something?

That's not bad. How'd she do that? Oh.

As the magician's assistant, I'm sworn
to secrecy.

How did she do it?

I'm serious, Cliff. I promised the great
Rudini I'd never tell.

Okay, I'll find out one way or the
other.

Hey, Dad, hey, Mom. Hey, son, do me a
favor. Before you go out, let me know

because you and I have some detective
work to do around here. Sure.

Did I get any phone calls? You certainly
did. There's some messages for you on

that pad.

Danny, Minnie, and Lyle.

Oh, Theo, wait a minute. That call from
Lyle isn't for you. What do you mean? He

called for Vanessa.

What did he want with Vanessa?

He asked her out. They're going to a
movie tonight.

You mean you gave Vanessa permission to
go out with Lyle Thompson?

Well, sure.

They're going to an early show.

But, Mom, you don't even know the guy.

Theo, he's your friend. You brought him
over here a million times.

Where's Vanessa?

Upstairs in her room.

Okay, thanks.

The glass.

has a false bottom.

Nope. She didn't have tubes running up
her arm.

Not even close, Cliff. You're never
gonna get this.

You're not gonna tell me, right? Oh, no.

Okay. Well, I'll go down to the magic
shop, and when I come back, I'm gonna

you disappear.

And then I'm gonna make her disappear.

And make everybody disappear if I don't
find out how that trick works in that

glass.

People say, what happened to her family?

I put them all in the glass. They
disappeared.

The milk has become a beautiful little
scarf.

Wow!

How'd you do that? I cannot reveal my
secret.

Vanessa, I need to talk to you.

Who dares interrupt the great Rudini?

This will only take a minute, Rudy.

Okay.

Vanessa, I hear you're going on a date
with Lyle Thompson.

Yeah. I saw him at a Latin club meeting
and he asked me to go to a movie with

him. Well, I don't think it's a good
idea. Why not?

Well, because of a lot of reasons.

Like what?

First of all, he's a junior and you're a
freshman.

So? He's two whole years older.

Well, what's wrong with that? Dad is
four years older than Mom.

Yeah, but Vanessa, they're old.

It doesn't matter to them anymore.

Age doesn't matter to me either.

Well, it should. Are you aware of the
fact that women live an average of five

years longer than men?

You're getting involved with the guy
who's going to die way before you.

What am I supposed to do, date someone
Broody's age?

You can ask your bud.

Okay, Vanessa, I didn't want to talk
about this, but there are other reasons

should not go out with Lyle Thompson.

You've got to experience this.

Well, if you don't know, then that's
another reason you shouldn't go out with

him.

See, I think Lyle's a very nice boy, and
that's why I'm going out with him.

Vanessa, believe me, you should not go
out with him. And I'm only saying this

because I care about you.

You never seemed to care about me
before.

Vanessa, I care about you a lot. I
always have.

Do you remember one time when you were a
baby, and you fell out of your crib,

and I reached down and picked you up and
gently placed you back?

No, but I do remember the time you tried
to feed me flies.

were raisins.

Okay, Vanessa, I tried to be sensible.
I've tried to be understanding, but now

I'm going to have to pull rank.

As your older brother, I forbid you to
see Lyle.

You forbid me? Yes.

I didn't know an older brother could do
that.

Well, I can.

Yeah, when you get out of here, only mom
or dad can forbid something.

Yes, but I'm responsible for the things
that slide by them. When mom and dad

make a mistake in judgment, that's when
I step in.

I'm sorry, Theo. I am going out with
Lyle Thompson.

Okay, Vanessa.

But I'm warning you.

You can end up a shattered woman laying
in a gutter saying, I should have

listened to Theo. But now, it's too
late.

Love dodgeball. They should put it in
the Olympics.

Hey, you guys. Hey, what's up?

Lyle. Lover boy.

Hey, how about a report?

A report?

Yeah. How was your date with Vanessa?
Give us some details.

Hurry up. Hostel's in the shower. Look,
guys, I have nothing to tell. Are you

trying to say nothing happened between
you and Vanessa?

No, I'm not saying that.

So then something did happen.

Maybe.

You know something, guys? This man got
nowhere.

Yeah? Yeah.

Well, let's just say when Vanessa went
out with me, she was a freshman.

Now she's ready for graduation.

Fix those showers.

Nothing comes out but cold water.

Lyle, you better get in there. You could
use a cold shower.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing. Lyle is just overheated.

Lyle, what do you tell these guys?

About what?

You were talking about your date with
Vanessa, weren't you?

Yeah, all I said was I had a good time.
Did he ever?

Tell them what happened.

Tell them that my dad drove you and
Vanessa to the movie theater, and when

movie ended, drove you straight home. Of
course, who knows what Vanessa's like

in the movie theater when her dad's not
around.

Well, straighten these guys out. Tell
them nothing happened.

Theo, what goes on between me and your
sister is our business.

He's right, Theo. You have to respect
the man's privacy.

I don't have to tell you about that date
or any other date I have with Vanessa.

That's because there's not going to be
another date with Vanessa.

Understand?

Sorry, I'm taking her to the library
after school.

What for?

Sounds like there's nothing left for her
to study.

You guys are wrong.

You need to be put away.

You know, I'm sick and tired of seeing
your faces.

What got into him?

Hocus Pocus, make this water go out of
focus.

make so much noise sound like a bunch of
horses coming down the stairs? You

frighten me.

Dad, you were trying to do my trick,
weren't you?

No. Yes, you were.

The trick can only be done by the great
Houdini.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Oh,

Cliff. You have to know everything.

Can't there be some things in life you
just experience without knowing how they

happen? Look.

This particular thing, I want to know.
No.

Okay. Just telling you, things are going
to get a little messy around here.

Because I'm going to keep attempting
that until I find out how it works. And

just may attempt it over somebody's open
attaché case.

Mom, Dad, we got to talk.

Okay.

What's up?

I think he made a big mistake letting
Vanessa go out with Lyle Thompson.

He chases women.

Really?

Now, I know I've always presented Lyle
to be a good guy, but I never told you

what he tells us in the locker room
about the woman after he catches them.

What does he say?

You know.

I know.

You see, Lyle has had these experiences.

What kind of experiences?

The kind you don't want to talk about in
front of your mother.

Boy, will you say what you have to say?
Okay.

Mom, Dad, Lyle Thompson's going to lead
your daughter down the road to

degradation.

Little Lyle.

The boy who cried when his mom was late
picking him up from your birthday party.

Mom, that was eight years ago. He's a
man now.

The guy knows what he's doing. He even
joined the Latin club.

And that makes him a man?

Don't you see, Dad?

The Latin club is mostly girls. That's
why he joined. He's always on the prowl,

and now he's prowling after your
daughter. So we shouldn't let Vanessa go

with him anymore.

Well, not if you're worried about the
reputation of your daughter and the

name.

If you let Vanessa go out with Lyle, it
could hurt both of you professionally.

Well, thank you very much for your
viewpoint.

But I want you to know we raised two
older daughters.

prior to this one. So you aren't going
to stop Vanessa from going out with

No, we know our daughters. We trust them
to do the right thing.

Okay.

I just have one thing to say.

This is a sad day for the Huxable
family.

What do guys talk about in the locker
room?

Well, the usual thing, dear.

Recipe.

Different kinds of hairspray.

Nail polish.

You used to talk about women in the
locker room, didn't you? Mm -hmm.

After a date, what did you say?

I told them she's intelligent, she's
beautiful, she's sensitive, and she's my

equal.

And if Claire ever finds out, she'll
kill me.

I think I should change.

Why?

Well, it's a nice outfit, but it doesn't
go with my green notebook.

Well, then use your English notebook.
It's red. I don't have any English

homework. Then just tear the pages out
of your green notebook and put them in

the red notebook.

That's a great idea.

Janet, I am so glad you came over.

My pleasure.

So, tell me, what happened when you and
Lyle got to the movies?

Well... Dad let us out at the theater.
We went in, and Lyle bought the tickets.

Now, naturally, I offered to pay for my
ticket, but he said, that's okay. You

can buy the popcorn.

I hope you bought a large tub so you
could share.

Of course.

Lyle was such a gentleman.

He put my seat down for me, and there
was popcorn in it, and he brushed it

The lights went out, and the movie
started. We watched for a while, and

happened. What happened?

We both reached into the popcorn box at
the same time.

And our hands touched.

We just sat there watching the rest of
the movie with our hands in the popcorn

box.

Oh, that is so romantic.

Then Dad drove us home.

Now, Lila and I sat in the back seat,
and Dad kept watching us through the

rearview mirror.

Hey, Theo.

Hey, Janet.

Uh, Vanessa, remember yesterday when I
came in here and tried to forbid you to

see Lyle? Yes.

Well, I was wrong, and I apologize.

Apology accepted.

But I want you to know one thing.

Your name is being dragged through the
mud.

By whom?

Well, everybody at school knows you two
went out. You know how guys talk.

Vanessa, do you realize what this is
doing to your reputation, not to mention

mine? What does this have to do with
your reputation?

Well, if guys start talking about you
and Lyle, it's going to reflect on me

because I'm your brother.

I might as well be dating Lyle.

Oh, so it's not me you're worried about,
it's yourself you're worried about.

Hey, Vanessa, I'm a popular guy at that
school.

I'm a senior.

I don't want to go down to flames with
you.

Well, in that case, I better tell you
what Lyle and I are going to do this

afternoon.

What?

We're not really going to the library.

We're going to a motel.

And after today, I'm going to dump Lyle
and start dating all your friends.

After she's done, I'm going to date
them.

You guys think this is real funny, huh?
Yes.

All right, Vanessa.

You know, I've tried to appeal to your
sense of decency, but you scoffed at me.

Now, I really forbid you. Did you hear
him? You scoffed at me.

Theo, you're starting to sound like an
old person.

I don't care.

But if you want to go out on this date
with Lyle, you have to get past me.

Please, Theo, will you get out of here?

No, Vanessa, I'm serious.

Come on, Theo, move.

Vanessa, don't even try. You're not
getting past me.

I don't move.

Vanessa, no, you can't go in there. Ow!

Stop it!

Stop it!

Dad,

let me tell you what's going on. I don't
want to know. But, Dad, you're a

father. You're supposed to jump in the
middle of this, ask us what's wrong, and

solve our problem. Yeah, well, it
doesn't work that way today, okay?

I'm tired.

Goodbye.

All right, I'm leaving, but I want you
to know one thing.

Next time, I'm not going to be so easy
on you.

Oh, it's you.

Well, I guess you're not going to invite
me in, so would you tell Vanessa I'm

here? You might as well come in.
Everything else went wrong today.

Vanessa, your date is here.

I'll be right down.

Don't try anything with Vanessa. She's
tough.

Why would I want to try anything?

I really like your sister.

Hey, I heard you guys laughing in the
locker room today.

You must have said something about her.

Well, I did, but I didn't say anything
different from what I usually say.

Well, I know what you usually say.

If you said that about my sister, then
you were lying.

Theo, what was I supposed to do?

If I had come into that locker room and
told the guys the truth about my date

with Vanessa, that I'd open the door for
her?

That we only held hands in the movie?
That I didn't even kiss her goodnight?

They would have called me a wimp. But
that was my sister you were talking

Yeah, I know.

But what if it wasn't your sister?

And I told you the true story about some
other girl?

What would you say?

I'd say you're a wimp.

See, you talk about girls a lot, too.

Don't you ever bend the truth a little?

No, man. I stand behind everything I've
ever said.

What about that story you told about
Lana Herman?

When you said you were in your bedroom
with her the whole day?

Absolutely true.

And you said the reason you were feeling
so weak is because of what happened in

that bedroom.

You know, Theo, I never told you this
before, but I ran into Lana Herman the

next day in school.

You did?

Yeah, and she happened to mention that
she was keeping you company because you

had the flu.

She also said your mom was in there the
whole time and that the two of them fed

you soup and helped you put together a
jigsaw puzzle.

So? I didn't lie?

I said I was weak from being in my room
all day.

Theo, let's face it. You are a wimp.

I know, but you are too.

Hi, Lyle.

Hi, Lyle. Hey, Janet.

Hi, Vanessa.

These are for you.

Oh, thank you.

They're beautiful.

Would you put this in water for me? Oh,
sure.

Thank you. Well, I guess we should go.

Yeah, I guess so. I'm ready.

Bye, Janet.

Bye, Theo.

Bye. See you all later.

You know, Theo, now that one of your
friends is going out with Vanessa, maybe

you'd be interested in going out with
one of Vanessa's friends.

He's about my size, the same color eyes
as mine.

Well, you know, Janet, I would, but I'm
afraid of what you girls would say

behind my back.

We wouldn't say anything that you guys
wouldn't say.

Then we're never going out.

How's that ice cream?

Good. Chocolate's my favorite. Yes,
indeed. Would you like some more hot

chocolate on top?

No, thanks.

What about some chopped nuts?

Chopped nuts.

Good old chopped nuts.

Thank you.

All right.

You know, I was really amazed at how you
were doing all that magic.

But, you know, I think that a magician
is only as good as his or her assistant.

Is that so? Oh, yes. Now, I have nothing
against Mamina, but what you need is

someone who can give you that flair,
that, you know, ta -da, someone who can

divert the audience's attention so that
you can do your thing.

Well, you know that can do that.

Mom told me that you want to be a
magician.

Really? She said it's all right. Well,
good. In order to make this a crack duo,

I will have to know how the trick works
with the glass

and the milk. I don't do that trick
anymore.

Oh. I'm learning a new trick, but you
can help me with it.

Okay, what is it?

Drawing my assistant in half.

No, no, you're not sawing me in half.
I'm not going for that.

Okay, then you'll help me with the
disappearing caterpillars.

Disappearing caterpillars? How's that
work?

First, my assistant has to take the
caterpillars out of this.

Okay, so we got the caterpillars here,
right? So then I just...

The end.

The Cosby Show was taped before a studio
audience.