All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s04e11 Dance Mania

Thank you.

Thank you.

all the measurements I need for the
bookshelf.

Do you want me to add the numbers?

No, I can do it myself.

Thank you.

12 plus 1 is 13 plus 8 is 21.

Put down the 1, carry the 2.

Carry the 2?

Yeah. I can't believe you carried the 2.

So what's wrong with that?

Dad, that's old math.

There's a much better way to do this.

And what is that?

The base method. It's like new math.

Base method?

You see, every foot is 12 inches.

You're kidding!

Dad, I haven't made my point yet. Okay,
I'm sorry.

That since every foot is 12 inches,
we'll use a base 12.

That means 12 will represent one unit.

So the numbers you add won't actually be
numbers, but parts of a unit. It's much

quicker.

Well, thank you very much, but I only
have five numbers, and I'll just use the

old method. Yeah, but Dad, you really
should learn the new math.

When our teacher was giving us homework
on it, Janet Mines' father went to night

school to learn it. Janet Mines' father
is a wimp.

And just let me tell you, anytime you
want to challenge the old versus the

just let me know, all right?

Do I hear a challenge?

You can hear whatever you want to hear,
my dear.

You promise not to yell when I add my
numbers faster?

I will not have to yell because I'll be
finished.

Okay.

Let's add the following number. 43. No,
no.

No. I'll give the numbers.

Okay? You ready?

Mm -hmm. 17, 29,

43, 7, 66, 82.

Go.

2 .44.

Yeah. That's what I was just checking.

I was just doing the check. Now do you
see how slow your way is? You want to

check ways? Wait till they read my will.
And then you base method zero times

zero.

Carry the zero.

Wow.

Hi, Theo. Hey, Mom.

Theo, today I discovered something very
interesting.

My hairdresser, Antoine, also does the
hair for the producer of Dance Mania.

Dance Mania? Mm -hmm. Really? That's my
favorite show.

The kids that dance in that show are the
best.

Yeah, he said it was pretty popular. It
is. One time, Cockroach and I went down

to get tickets, and they had a two -year
waiting list.

Oh, my goodness. That's terrible. Yeah.

Oh, that reminds me. As I was leaving,
he did give me these. Do you know

who'd be interested?

Uh -huh.

These two tickets to Dads -mania? Uh
-huh.

Mom, these are two tickets to Dads
-mania.

Mom,

if for any reason you and Dad go broke,
you can come to me for anything.

Thank you, Theo.

Car coach is going to be up here any
minute. He's going to go nuts when he

these tickets.

Oh, listen, I'm going to leave before he
can thank me.

What's up, cockroach? Yo, cockroach.

Look at me.

What do you see?

I see Theo.

Look again.

What do you see as your best friend?
Here.

What are these?

Nothing but two tickets to Dance Mania.

The television show?

That's right. You and I are going to be
dancers on Dance Mania. They tape the

show this Saturday.

Theo, you could have asked anyone. Why
me?

Cockroach, like I said, you're my best
friend.

I'm touched.

Really.

It's all right. It's all right. It's all
right. It's all right.

We've got to make the most of this
opportunity.

Cockroach, this is our chance to become
immortal.

True. And after we do this, we can walk
up to any girl on the street and say,

excuse me, hi, do you know who we are?
We're the guys from Dance Mania. No, no.

We won't even have to say it. They'll
know it.

We'll walk down the street.

They'll look at us and point at us and
say, it's them.

Yeah, you're right.

Cockroach, we're going to be the best
dancers in the history of that show.

got to practice our moves.

Theo, do you think there's a chance we
might get to dance with... Tina!

Tina Hunter!

We're going to be dancing in the same
room with her. And breathing the same

Oh, Tina!

Tina! Tina!

Tina! Tina!

To Diane Langley.

Hi.

This is Theo Huxtable. I'm in your
homeroom.

Yeah. Listen, Diane, do you own a VCR?

Good. Well, plug it in Monday night
because my best friend Cockroach and I

going to be on Dance Mania.

Dance Mania!

I'd say she's impressed.

All right, Diane.

Yeah. Oh, and Diane, please be sure to
tell all your girlfriends.

Oh, she is?

Cynthia Morris is over there. Really?
Let me talk to her. Diane, Cockroach

to say hi to Cynthia.

Cynthia, hi.

Look, you and I don't know each other
very well, but all that could be

Yes, I guess you heard that Theo and I
are going to be on Dance Mania.

Well, I'm offering you a chance to get
in on the ground floor.

How would you like to date me before I
become famous?

I got so excited she pulled the phone
out of the wall.

Are you two going to practice your
dancing?

Well, we could practice now and finish
the phone calls after dinner. Good idea.

Okay. I'm going to practice, too. No,
Rudy, you see, this is not a place I'm

missing serious.

But you have to have a girl for your
partner.

We don't need partners. You see, no
matter what girls they team us up with,

we're going to do our own thing.

See, when they aim the camera at us,
we're going to move together and then

into our routine.

See, we'll show you.

I was just talking with Vanessa upstairs
in the kitchen. She says everything's

going very well down here. Yes, indeed.

What are you reading? Vanessa used a new
math to get these measurements, and I'm

trying to figure out how she did it. Let
me see.

Oh, she used base 12.

You know about this?

Mm -hmm. I learned about that when
Denise was taking it.

Oh, how come nobody told me about this?

Oh, well, honey, you know how some
people are. You know.

You try to teach them something new,
they get an incorrect answer, they start

making up stuff like, well, I was
getting ready to do that.

Or if you were any good as a teacher, I
would have gotten it by now.

You know, pitiful excuses like that.

I don't know anyone like that.

Here's your juice, Dad.

Thank you, dear.

So, Vanessa, how would you like to teach
your father new math?

Do you need to teach Dad something?

What is the matter with you people?

I mean, I'll do it, Dad, if Mom stays
down here with me. Oh, no, I'm out of

this. Can I at least have Rudy? If he
gives you any trouble, just send him

upstairs to the principal.

Okay.

Class, let's begin.

Okay. Dad, since I'm going to be your
teacher, it would really help me get

it if you call me Miss Huxtable.

Drink. And tremendous looking women.

God, girls, I think I found out what
heaven looks like.

Be cool, be cool. Come on, guys, be
cool.

Hi there.

Uh, nice outfit.

Man, this is what life's all about. You
know it.

Hold it, hold it. Don't eat any food. We
have to stay light on our feet.

Hey, good thinking.

I'll have a diet soda.

Okay, everyone, line up.

Have to choose dancers for our second
batch.

Look, look, look. When you get inside,
try to move toward the front of the

line. That will be seen at the top of
the show.

God, bro,

she's here. Who? Tina.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

She spoke to me.

All right.

Let's see.

You, you, and you.

Okay, I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen.
That's all we have for today. Thanks for

coming down.

What? You can't do that.

Excuse us. Oh, we have to get in. I'm
sorry, but we've reached our limit.

but we have tickets.

So do the rest of these people. Look, we
have to limit the number of people in

the studio because of fire laws.

We're not going to start any fires.

We don't even smoke.

I don't make the rules. We have
connections. His mom's hairdresser knows

producer.

I'm just doing my job.

Well, you got to use them. Look at these
outfits.

Yeah. We have moves.

Theo, show up. I'm ready.

Excuse me.

Yes. Uh -huh.

Right.

Have good news. All right.

Have room for one more dancer.

One? No way, man. We're a team.

We got to go in there together.

I'm sorry, man. I'm making a concession
the way it is. Only one. Who's it going

to be?

Cockroach, you go. No, man, I think you
should go. No, cockroach, go ahead.

Man, you got the tickets. Guys, come on.
I got to get back inside.

I need the decision.

Cockroach, go ahead.

Okay, see you.

nervous on the show. Well, I didn't get
on.

Tragic.

Cockroach did.

You'll be on for sure.

Definitely.

Did you see Tina?

I danced with her.

Your reputation is set for life.

Cockroach, I would pay a million dollars
to be you for one day.

Listen, listen, listen. I have one thing
to say.

The reason I got on the show was because
of my man Theo. I mean, this is a great

guy. They only had room for one more
dancer, and he insisted that I go into

studio.

That's nice.

All right, tell us.

What was Tina like? And don't leave
anything out.

Well, she's really sweet, she has a
great personality, and she's not stuck

all. All right, all right. Hey, hey,
hey, who knows? One day you might end up

marrying Tina.

Well, she did mention that she would
like to have children someday.

And she was looking right at me when she
said it.

Time's up.

Okay, just let me finish this last one.
Uh -uh, Dad. The official timekeeper

said time's up.

Now, let's see how you did.

Because your watch is fast.

Dad, you only got seven correct out of
ten.

That's a C -.

It's passing.

But it's below average.

Are you satisfied with being below
average?

Yes.

I think you should take this test again,
and we won't time you.

Now, the new math is very tricky. It
takes patience.

I'm watching a movie.

Your TV is turning on. Change it. Rudy,
Rudy.

Look what you did. You turned the
television off.

You two can't come in here and tell me
to change the channel. I was here first,

and I'm watching this movie. But we want
to see Cockroach dance.

What is the TV up in Mom and Dad's room?

We want to watch it down here.

Vanessa, I'm not moving.

You know what your problem is?

You two are the most immature,
inconsiderate people I've ever known.

All you ever do is think about me, me,
me. You two are disgusting.

I saw it on a monitor when they taped
it.

Vanessa, it's a silly show, but if you
want to waste your time watching it, be

my guest.

Well, I will.

And Vanessa, you know something?

You're a jerk.

You're a bigger jerk.

Rudy,

how many times have I told you not to
leave toys laying around the house?

This is very dangerous.

Toys on the floor is the number one
cause of household injuries in America.

Who told you that?

It's a fact, Vanessa, okay?

Okay. It's no fact, jerk.

Fine, Rudy, go ahead.

It's not enough you try to kill me with
this toy, but you call me names, too.

You should watch where you're going.

Oh, yeah?

You should watch where this is going.

You happy?

You see, now you're going to get it, you
maniac.

Maniac? How would you like to get thrown
out on the street, too?

Phil's trying to kill us. What is going
on out here?

Phil threw my phone in the street, and
it got ran over. And now he's

us. Mom, I'm sitting here trying to
watch television, and they come down and

start harassing me.

Hey, hey, I'm trying to take a math
test.

Go outside and get your sister's phone.
I don't want any more trouble in here.

Come on, Ruby. Dance Mania started.

Yes! Oh!

Oh! All right! I spoke to Walter's
mother this morning. She is very

Yes, indeed.

Dance Mania. Tina, my woman.

I'm supposed to watch this if
everybody's talking.

Don't tell me to shut up when I want to
talk. Theo, stop it now.

Dad, I'm supposed to be down here
watching a movie. Then you let Rudy and

Vanessa just come down here and have
their way.

They always have their way around here.

I never have my way.

Dad, I almost break my neck on Rudy's
phone, and now I'm the one suffering for

it.

Go close the door.

Fine. You know, I'll just go in the
kitchen.

Because I don't need to look at some
idiot box to have a good time.

All right, cockroach, good move!

Yeah!

You know, I get the feeling that
something's troubling you.

And I'd like to help you out, but you're
going to have to help me first. Now,

who or what is it that has upset you? Is
it me?

No. Is it your dad? No.

Your sister's toy phone?

No. The people at Dance Mania?

No.

Is it Cockroach? No.

Mom, can I be upset without knowing what
I'm upset about?

Well, is it possible that you're upset
because Cockroach is in there on TV with

Tina and you're in here with a bag of
pretzels?

It might have something to do with it.

Honey, how is it that he got on the show
and you didn't?

We're both in line to get into the
studio.

The stage manager comes out and says,
I'm sorry, we only have room for one

person. So I said, Cockroach, you go
ahead.

Cockroach said, no, Theo, you got the
tickets, so you go. So why didn't you

Because that wasn't supposed to be the
end of our conversation.

I was going to say, Cockroach, I know I
got the tickets, but you go.

If Cockroach was supposed to say, no,
Theo, I insist, you go, then I was going

to say okay.

But Cockroach said okay before I could,
and before I know it, Cockroach is on

television dancing with Tina.

I see. So then what you wanted was for
you to be inside with Tina and for

Cockroach to be outside watching.

Right. And that's the way it would have
been if Cockroach wasn't so selfish.

And then the person that you're upset
with is Cockroach.

Yeah. Well, then why are you taking it
out on us?

Because Cockroach doesn't live here.

Well, in my opinion, you don't have any
reason to be upset with Cockroach

either. Mom, he aced me out of an
opportunity of a lifetime.

No, my love, you aced yourself out of
that opportunity.

You were the one who took the gamble
that on the third time around, Cockroach

was going to say, no, man, you go on and
I insist.

And that did not happen. You lost.

You see, you should have been honest
with Cockroach. You should have said,

bro, out of my way. My woman Tina is in
there waiting for me, her destiny.

Then there wouldn't have been any gamble
at all.

Well, I don't know if I would have felt
right saying that. Honey, that's the way

you felt.

And now you're angry because you didn't
say that.

So if you want to be angry, Theo, that's
fine. But be angry with yourself, okay?

Don't take it out on us because if you
do, we're going to get angry back.

Fine, I'll be cool.

Thank you. And son, the next time you
give somebody something, make sure

doing it because you want to. Don't
expect anything in return.

Mom?

Yes. Yo, bro.

Thank you.

The Cosby Show was taped before a studio
audience.