All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s04e05 Shakespeare
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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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Thank you.
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do do do do do do do do do do do do do
do do do do
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00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:13,520
It's past 7 a .m., dear.
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So? Well, you have to go to work.
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I quit.
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Oh, you're a partner in a law firm. Hit
it. I'll be a silent partner.
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00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,300
Claire, look outside.
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There's sunshine.
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Look at this.
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Ta -da!
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Look at this. The birds are saying,
Claire, it's your day.
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Let's make a nest. Let's eat a worm.
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00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:40,380
You know what?
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Tonight would be a perfect night for a
barbecue.
15
00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:46,780
Yes, no.
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Come on, you know you love a barbecue.
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Come on, every time you barbecue, you
become like a man possessed.
18
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Any food that's in the house has to go
on the grill.
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Hamburgers, hot dogs, tossed salad,
macaroni, strawberry shortcake.
20
00:02:03,970 --> 00:02:08,949
Listen, nothing enhances the flavor of
strawberry shortcake like the smoke
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00:02:08,949 --> 00:02:10,330
through it from the barbecue.
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00:02:11,550 --> 00:02:15,450
How could you talk about barbecuing on a
day like today? Honey, it is November
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00:02:15,450 --> 00:02:16,650
and freezing outside.
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It doesn't make any difference.
Professor Foster's coming all the way
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Hillman. Now, he does not have a
barbecue in mind.
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00:02:23,170 --> 00:02:27,470
Are you kidding? He loves it. And Denise
is coming, and we'll have the barbecue
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outside. I'm going to make a bargain
with you, Cliff. You can cook the food
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outside if you want.
29
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,440
Well, we have to eat it inside the
house.
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Okay. Now, can we have it on the paper
plates?
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Yes. Yes, with the plastic knives and
forks? You got it. All right.
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Barbecue.
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Barbecue.
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Hey, well, now, this is something I like
to see. Open books, open mind, and a
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closed refrigerator.
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Hey, Dad. Hi, Dr. Oxford.
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00:03:08,170 --> 00:03:10,550
Walter, would you like to stay for
dinner tonight?
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Oh, sure, but I have to go home first.
That's what I like, to see a young man
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00:03:13,710 --> 00:03:15,650
calling his parents asking for
permission.
40
00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:17,750
No, Dad, he's not calling to ask for
permission.
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00:03:17,970 --> 00:03:20,190
He's calling to find out what they're
having for dinner at his house.
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If our dinner sounds better, he'll eat
here.
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Uh, Walter, just let me say three words.
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Bar -bee -cue.
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meeting here.
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Well, I hope we still have an appetite
after studying this stuff.
47
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What stuff?
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Shakespeare.
49
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Boy, I thought you took that last year.
50
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We did, but guess where he showed up
today?
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History class.
52
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,840
Shakespeare was part of history.
53
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,380
Yeah, but that is not fair.
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I think they should make up their minds.
Is he literature or is he history? He
55
00:03:49,580 --> 00:03:53,280
can't be both. You see, we're studying
ancient Rome, and we have to read
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00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,780
something by Julius Caesar. So the
teacher gave us a choice.
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We could either read a book by Plutarch,
which was this thick, or we could read
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00:03:59,650 --> 00:04:03,310
Julius Caesar by Shakespeare, which is
only this thick. The class voted for
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00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:06,670
this. And they didn't know what Theo and
I know, that Shakespeare is a drag to
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00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:10,830
read. Well, now, wait a minute. Julius
Caesar is quite interesting. I mean,
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00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:15,930
have good guys, bad guys, and isn't
there a car chase in there?
62
00:04:17,959 --> 00:04:21,140
Well, if it was, I wouldn't know it.
Dad, this is not even written in
63
00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:25,200
Listen, don't worry about a thing.
Brighten up, fellas, because tonight's
64
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:28,060
is going to take all of your bad
thoughts away.
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00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,080
What are we having?
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00:04:30,460 --> 00:04:32,780
Well, I'm going to go out.
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00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:34,380
I'm going to barbecue.
68
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:41,240
And then I'm going to make something
that goes right along with what you guys
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00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,240
are studying.
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00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:43,680
Caesar salad.
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00:04:57,420 --> 00:04:59,900
She's in the kitchen with Dr. Foster,
but you shouldn't bother them. They're
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00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,440
talking. But I need to know how to spell
forest.
73
00:05:02,740 --> 00:05:05,320
Oh, I can tell you that. F -O -R -E -S
-T.
74
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,060
Good. That's how I spell it. What are
you writing?
75
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,460
Oh, nothing. Just a fairy tale. Can I
read it? No.
76
00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:12,759
Why not?
77
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:16,020
Because whenever I tell you something,
you tell me it is wrong.
78
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:20,000
If you let me read it, I promise I'll
only say nice things.
79
00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:24,820
Okay. But I only have two sentences, and
they took me a long...
80
00:05:25,550 --> 00:05:28,830
Nothing wrong with that. The first
couple of sentences in the story are the
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important. The beautiful princess and
the dragon.
82
00:05:32,350 --> 00:05:34,410
Good title. I'm already interested.
83
00:05:34,850 --> 00:05:35,850
It gets better.
84
00:05:37,190 --> 00:05:40,470
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful
princess named Rudy.
85
00:05:40,690 --> 00:05:42,430
Good touch. You put yourself in it.
86
00:05:42,850 --> 00:05:48,210
She lived in a magic forest where there
was a mean dragon named... Are
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you saying you think I'm a dragon?
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00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:01,640
You're not going to make me a dragon.
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00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,480
You can't tell me what to write. I write
what I want.
90
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,940
Fine, but you're going to show me that
before you hand it in. Maybe I will.
91
00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:09,040
Maybe I won't.
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00:06:11,540 --> 00:06:14,140
Dr. Foster, I have married a strange
bird.
93
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:15,480
What's he doing now?
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00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:20,700
It is 30 degrees out, and he's standing
over the barbecue, shivering, as he
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00:06:20,700 --> 00:06:22,500
blows in his hands and slaps himself.
96
00:06:22,820 --> 00:06:24,400
Shouldn't we get the poor man inside?
97
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,840
Are you kidding? Cliff loves this sort
of thing.
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00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:29,620
Oh, the wind just shifted and blew the
smoke in his face.
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Here you come.
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00:06:37,620 --> 00:06:38,599
How's it going?
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00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,220
How's it going? It's going fine.
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00:06:40,460 --> 00:06:41,460
How's it going?
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It's a perfect night for barbecue out
there. The stars, you look up, you see
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them twinkling.
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00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:49,880
30 degrees, huh?
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00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:54,440
Oh, but I'm so excited about the
barbecue. I forgot how cold it was out
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00:06:54,460 --> 00:06:55,449
I'm sure.
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00:06:55,450 --> 00:06:56,229
So Dr.
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Foster's excited about it also?
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00:06:58,610 --> 00:07:00,410
I'm trembling with anticipation.
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00:07:01,190 --> 00:07:02,330
Hi, sweetie.
112
00:07:02,850 --> 00:07:03,850
Oh, hi, Dr. Foster.
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00:07:04,050 --> 00:07:08,050
Hello, Denise. How are you? Fine. I
haven't seen you on campus lately.
114
00:07:08,450 --> 00:07:10,890
Oh, well, you know what it's like at
Hillman. Busy, busy, busy.
115
00:07:11,190 --> 00:07:13,970
Well, it's a shame you don't see each
other more often. Denise, you should
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00:07:13,970 --> 00:07:15,030
Dr. Foster's class.
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00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:16,049
She did.
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00:07:16,050 --> 00:07:17,230
She did? She did.
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00:07:17,470 --> 00:07:18,470
Uh -huh.
120
00:07:18,530 --> 00:07:19,770
Well, we didn't know about that.
121
00:07:20,110 --> 00:07:22,530
Well, perhaps that's because she was in
class for only one day.
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00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:23,790
One day?
123
00:07:24,330 --> 00:07:25,289
One day?
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00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:25,989
Uh -huh.
125
00:07:25,990 --> 00:07:29,190
It's not uncommon for students to drop
out of my class on the first day.
126
00:07:29,570 --> 00:07:31,790
That's when I hand out the work schedule
for the semester.
127
00:07:32,950 --> 00:07:37,590
So you mean to tell me that a certain
person who will remain nameless but is
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00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:39,730
this room dropped out of your class?
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00:07:39,950 --> 00:07:41,570
After she saw the work schedule.
130
00:07:41,930 --> 00:07:42,930
Uh -huh.
131
00:07:43,490 --> 00:07:46,210
Uh -uh, no, no, that's not what
happened. Dr.
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00:07:46,410 --> 00:07:50,030
Foster's class is so early in the
morning, I was afraid that I'd oversleep
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00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:52,310
I'd miss it because of all that late
-night studying that I do.
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00:07:52,590 --> 00:07:53,590
Uh -huh.
135
00:07:58,410 --> 00:08:01,410
Stay in the heat while you're in the
kitchen.
136
00:08:02,630 --> 00:08:04,970
So, um, Dr. Foster.
137
00:08:05,190 --> 00:08:07,790
Yes, dear? You know, there's a rumor
going around campus that you're thinking
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00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:09,950
retiring. I think about it every day.
139
00:08:10,230 --> 00:08:14,390
Oh. But don't you worry. I promise to
hang in there long enough for you to
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00:08:14,390 --> 00:08:15,390
my class.
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00:08:20,460 --> 00:08:22,140
That's a friend of mine, Jonathan
Lawrence.
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00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:26,180
My son, Heathcliff. How are you, sir?
Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
143
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:27,840
You were right, Russell. Here's your
dollar.
144
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,420
What did you give him a doll for?
145
00:08:29,700 --> 00:08:33,260
Well, three blocks away, we detected the
smell of charcoal in the air.
146
00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:37,880
So I said, who would be daft enough to
barbecue in 30 -degree weather? Okay.
147
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,559
And I said, there's only one person I
know, my son.
148
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,559
I didn't believe him, so I bet him a
dollar.
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00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,760
All right, well, give me the dollar, and
you can both stay for dinner.
150
00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:49,700
Well, sorry, son, but we planned on
having dinner in the village. We're on
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00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:51,160
way to the Blue Note to hear some jazz.
152
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,500
Well, why didn't you tell me? Dr.
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00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,800
Foster's in the kitchen.
154
00:08:53,980 --> 00:08:57,140
That's a good idea, keeping a doctor
around when you barbecue in bad weather.
155
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:01,370
No, no, this is not a doctor -doctor.
This is a doctor of literature, Hillman.
156
00:09:01,590 --> 00:09:02,469
Jonathan's kidding.
157
00:09:02,470 --> 00:09:04,210
He teaches drama at Columbia.
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00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:05,750
I thought the two should meet.
159
00:09:05,950 --> 00:09:06,829
You're kidding.
160
00:09:06,830 --> 00:09:08,190
Why don't you stay for dinner?
161
00:09:08,490 --> 00:09:11,190
Well, it's fine with me. How about you,
Jonathan? That's a mighty generous
162
00:09:11,190 --> 00:09:12,190
offer. I'll accept.
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00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:14,110
All right, follow me to the kitchen.
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00:09:14,530 --> 00:09:18,870
Son, if we're staying to dinner, at
least I should go out and get some
165
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,250
Don't have to. It's already on the
barbecue.
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00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:33,720
Hey, Cliff, this is the best indoor
barbecue I've ever had.
167
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,020
Well, thank you, sir.
168
00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:36,920
It's not a bad meal for only a dollar.
169
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:42,580
Dr. Lawrence, do you really teach
acting? Yes, along with theater history
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00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:45,280
directing. Well, you know, I don't have
a major yet. Maybe I should become a
171
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:46,079
drama major.
172
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,700
You still have to take my course.
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00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,480
Dr. Lawrence, have you ever taught any
actors who became famous?
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00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:53,700
I most certainly have.
175
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:54,739
Who?
176
00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:56,960
Michael Youngfellow. Who's Michael
Youngfellow?
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00:09:57,360 --> 00:09:58,940
Oh, come on, you know.
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00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:03,840
The television commercial where the car
engine comes to life and all the spark
179
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:05,000
plugs begin to dance?
180
00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:08,720
Well, Michael Youngfellow was the third
spark plug from the left.
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00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,760
Wow, he is famous. Yes.
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00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,760
Four years I worked with Michael.
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00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,740
Four long years.
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00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:21,360
I taught him everything I knew about the
history of the theater, the art of the
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00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:22,980
theater, the magic of the theater.
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00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,120
So he could make a living as a dancing
spark plug.
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00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,040
Dr. Lawrence?
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00:10:28,100 --> 00:10:31,720
Yes, Theo? Do you happen to know the
girl in the Diet Cola commercial who
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00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,020
on the beach wearing a bathing suit?
190
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:37,040
Sorry, she wasn't one of my students.
That's too bad. She's a good actress.
191
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:38,700
What does she say?
192
00:10:38,980 --> 00:10:40,380
Well, she doesn't say anything.
193
00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:42,220
She just acts.
194
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,120
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
195
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:47,020
I've admired her. Her work.
196
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,680
Is everybody ready for dessert?
197
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:52,040
Yeah.
198
00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:54,560
You better count me a cockroach out.
Why?
199
00:10:54,860 --> 00:10:55,900
We have to hit the books.
200
00:10:56,100 --> 00:11:00,480
No, wait a minute. You guys are passing
up dessert to do your homework?
201
00:11:00,780 --> 00:11:04,900
We have a ton to do. No, no, wait one
second here. Are you showing off because
202
00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,640
there are two professors in this house?
Oh, no.
203
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,020
What are you gentlemen studying?
204
00:11:09,340 --> 00:11:11,620
Shakespeare. Oh, the tonics or the play?
205
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,080
The play, Julius Caesar.
206
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:15,760
Ah, now that's a good play. Yes, it is.
207
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,460
We keep hearing that, but I'm sorry,
it's boring.
208
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:20,580
You have to just keep at it, Walter.
209
00:11:21,230 --> 00:11:23,770
Many of my students have difficulty with
Shakespeare at first.
210
00:11:24,070 --> 00:11:26,810
What? We have to take Shakespeare in
college, too?
211
00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:29,310
When you take my course, you do.
212
00:11:29,550 --> 00:11:30,550
Can't wait.
213
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,490
But, listen, how far are you into the
play?
214
00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:37,790
Well, we're up to the point where all
those senators are ready to ambush
215
00:11:37,990 --> 00:11:41,210
Oh, you mean the part where Cassius is
trying to recruit Brutus to participate
216
00:11:41,210 --> 00:11:42,350
in the plot against Caesar?
217
00:11:42,670 --> 00:11:45,070
Yeah. Oh, yeah, well, that's a marvelous
scene.
218
00:11:45,630 --> 00:11:49,070
The senators are applauding and cheering
Caesar, and Brutus...
219
00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:52,810
leans over to Cassius and says, another
general shout.
220
00:11:53,550 --> 00:11:58,110
I do believe that these applauses are
for some new honors that are heaped on
221
00:11:58,110 --> 00:11:59,670
Caesar. It is, it is.
222
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:06,850
Well, then, and Cassius says to Brutus,
why, man, he doth bestride the narrow
223
00:12:06,850 --> 00:12:13,470
world like a colossus, and we petty men
walk under his huge legs
224
00:12:13,470 --> 00:12:18,010
and peep about to find ourselves
dishonorable graves.
225
00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:22,570
Men at some time are masters of their
fates.
226
00:12:22,930 --> 00:12:29,930
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our
stars, but in ourselves that we
227
00:12:29,930 --> 00:12:30,930
are underlings.
228
00:12:32,010 --> 00:12:33,710
Brutus and Caesar.
229
00:12:34,410 --> 00:12:36,810
What should be in that Caesar?
230
00:12:37,730 --> 00:12:40,390
Why should that name be sounded more
than yours?
231
00:12:41,230 --> 00:12:43,930
Write them together. Yours is as fair a
name.
232
00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:47,210
Sound them. It doth become the mouth as
well.
233
00:12:47,820 --> 00:12:49,480
Weigh them, it is as heavy.
234
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,400
Conjure with them.
235
00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:54,320
Brutus will start a spirit as soon as
Caesar.
236
00:12:54,680 --> 00:13:00,780
Now, in the name of all the gods at
once, upon what meat doth this our
237
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,780
feed?
238
00:13:05,180 --> 00:13:07,780
But he has grown so great.
239
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:21,620
Dr. Foster!
240
00:13:21,680 --> 00:13:23,340
Me? Yes, you!
241
00:13:23,980 --> 00:13:28,960
I vaguely recall a few passages. Will
you please stop it? You were born before
242
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,280
the man started writing.
243
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,200
Come on, doctor, favor us, come on.
244
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:38,600
Age, thou art shamed.
245
00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:44,880
Rome, thou hast lost the breed of noble
bloods.
246
00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:48,760
When went thereby an age since the great
flood?
247
00:13:49,770 --> 00:13:52,370
But it was famed with more than with one
man.
248
00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:58,990
When could they say till now that talked
of Rome that her wide walls encompass
249
00:13:58,990 --> 00:14:00,730
but one man?
250
00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:08,550
Now it is Rome indeed and room enough
when there is in it but one only man.
251
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:13,750
Oh, you and I have heard our fathers say
there was a Brutus once that would have
252
00:14:13,750 --> 00:14:17,230
brooked the eternal devil to keep his
state in Rome.
253
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,560
As easily as a king.
254
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,480
The class dismissed.
255
00:14:25,420 --> 00:14:32,340
I fear we're boring the
256
00:14:32,340 --> 00:14:33,340
youngsters.
257
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,180
This is the first time I've actually
understood this stuff.
258
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:39,480
Dr. Lawrence, do you remember any other
speeches?
259
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:42,840
Well, Cesar has a speech that I'm
particularly fond of.
260
00:14:43,860 --> 00:14:47,360
Cesar fought the slim Cassius, one of
the conspirators.
261
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:54,160
And first to his friend, Antonius, let
me have men about me that are fat, sleek
262
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,640
-headed men, and such as sleep on ice.
263
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,540
John Cassius has a lean and hungry look.
264
00:15:01,940 --> 00:15:03,520
He thinks too much.
265
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:04,980
Such men are dangerous.
266
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:07,120
Fear him not, Caesar. He's not
dangerous.
267
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,460
He's a noble Roman and well -given.
268
00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:10,780
Would he were fatter.
269
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:12,280
But I fear him not.
270
00:15:12,420 --> 00:15:16,960
Yet if my name were liable to fear, I do
not know the man I shall avoid so soon
271
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:19,640
as that spare Cassius.
272
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,140
He reads much. He's a great observer.
273
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,740
And he looks quite through the deeds of
men.
274
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:31,140
He loves no plays, as thou dost, Antony.
He hears no music.
275
00:15:31,420 --> 00:15:32,440
Seldom he smiles.
276
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:40,840
And smiles in such a sort as if he
mocked himself and scorned his spirit
277
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,040
could be moved to smile at anything.
278
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:47,900
Such men as he be never at heart's ease,
whilst they behold are greater than
279
00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:48,900
themselves.
280
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:54,580
Therefore are they very dangerous. I
rather tell thee what is to be feared
281
00:15:54,580 --> 00:15:55,900
what I fear.
282
00:15:56,500 --> 00:16:01,100
For always I am Caesar.
283
00:16:09,310 --> 00:16:11,030
That's my father.
284
00:16:11,890 --> 00:16:14,050
Your father can't do that.
285
00:16:15,890 --> 00:16:17,710
Oh, I'm very impressed.
286
00:16:18,210 --> 00:16:21,570
Well, thank you, but it's easy when you
have such beautiful language. Yes, Mr.
287
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,390
Shakespeare was no mean writer.
288
00:16:23,830 --> 00:16:24,990
I'm a writer, too.
289
00:16:25,230 --> 00:16:26,230
You are?
290
00:16:26,310 --> 00:16:29,030
Yes, I wrote a fairy tale, and it is
good.
291
00:16:30,610 --> 00:16:32,230
Now, I would like to read that.
292
00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:36,650
Really? Yes. Oh, let us see the work of
this young scribe.
293
00:16:36,990 --> 00:16:37,990
Young Rudolf.
294
00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:40,400
Run thither and yon to thy roometh.
295
00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:45,080
And get thy writings and bring them down
to the minute.
296
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,780
What? Walk to your room and get the
script, Jack.
297
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,140
Grandpa, when did you learn Shakespeare?
298
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:57,980
Well, it started when I was traveling
with the jazz caravan. When you're on
299
00:16:57,980 --> 00:17:01,140
with a band, you spend a whole lot of
time on a bus. So I started reading
300
00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:03,340
Shakespeare. I've read all the plays
many times.
301
00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:05,020
And nobody made you read them?
302
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:06,960
No, I read them because I wanted to
also.
303
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:10,680
I respect that, Mr. Huxable. I don't
understand it, but I respect it.
304
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:12,780
Here's my story.
305
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:20,460
Now, I have seen original manuscripts by
William Shakespeare, but I want
306
00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:23,280
to tell you, they are not as neat as
this.
307
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:25,819
Thank you. Can you read it out loud,
please?
308
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,359
It would be my pleasure.
309
00:17:28,220 --> 00:17:31,680
But I'm going to have to seek the
assistance of my fellow thespians.
310
00:17:31,860 --> 00:17:33,120
would you join me, please? Thank you.
311
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,300
I'll be happy to join you. No, no, no,
no, no.
312
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,220
They don't need you.
313
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,340
Woman, go hide thyself.
314
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:44,640
Ladies and gentlemen.
315
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:45,739
There you go.
316
00:17:45,740 --> 00:17:51,540
We would like to present the world
premiere of The Beautiful Princess and
317
00:17:51,540 --> 00:17:54,660
Dragon by Rudy Lillian Huxtable.
318
00:17:54,900 --> 00:18:01,660
Once upon a time, there was a
319
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:04,140
beautiful princess named Rudy.
320
00:18:05,230 --> 00:18:10,650
She lived in a magic forest where there
was a dragon named Bud.
321
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,770
No. No, no, that's Bud.
322
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:17,750
Bud.
323
00:18:18,710 --> 00:18:19,710
Thank you.
324
00:18:20,650 --> 00:18:26,910
The dragon liked to walk through the
forest, and he would say to everyone...
325
00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:27,910
am Bud.
326
00:18:29,170 --> 00:18:31,130
Meanest dragon in the world.
327
00:18:31,390 --> 00:18:32,570
I breathe fire.
328
00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:35,020
I eat... Anything that moves.
329
00:18:37,820 --> 00:18:39,900
He was a scary dragon.
330
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:45,580
One day, Princess Rudy walked up to her
flying horse named Theo.
331
00:18:46,060 --> 00:18:52,660
And Theo said, Princess Rudy, you are
the loveliest princess in the land.
332
00:18:52,940 --> 00:18:54,760
Where would you like to fly today?
333
00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:59,300
Princess Rudy said, Let us fly to
Canada.
334
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:03,680
And just then, Bud, the dragon, burped.
335
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:08,920
The dragon jumped out from behind a
tree. Princess Rudy, if you try to leave
336
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:12,200
forest, I will blow fire on your horse
and eat him up.
337
00:19:12,980 --> 00:19:13,980
Barbecue.
338
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:21,300
Theo tried to fly away, but the dragon
swallowed him whole.
339
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:28,700
Princess Rudy was afraid. She ran into a
cave made of chocolate.
340
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:31,620
Bird said, Princess Rudy.
341
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:34,250
Come out, or I'll eat the cave.
342
00:19:34,830 --> 00:19:38,710
Princess Rudy yelled, Leave me alone,
Bud. Go eat your feet.
343
00:19:40,450 --> 00:19:45,170
Bud huffed and puffed and said, I'd
rather eat your feet.
344
00:19:45,790 --> 00:19:50,490
Princess Rudy ran to the back door and
opened it, but a witch was there named
345
00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:51,490
Vanessa.
346
00:19:56,030 --> 00:19:58,710
You made me a witch? How could you do
that?
347
00:19:59,050 --> 00:20:00,960
He said, Didn't want to be a dragon.
348
00:20:01,180 --> 00:20:02,480
Well, I don't want to be a witch.
349
00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:04,000
Let him finish.
350
00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:08,380
Vanessa said, I am not a bad witch.
351
00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:10,460
I am a good witch.
352
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:11,699
All right.
353
00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:15,980
I have a magic wand, and I will save
you.
354
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,760
And Vanessa hit Bud on the nose with her
magic wand.
355
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,040
Ow!
356
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:26,800
And when Bud opened his mouth, Theo flew
out.
357
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:34,540
The dragon ran away. Theo, Vanessa, and
Rudy flew to Canada and lived
358
00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:35,540
happily.
359
00:20:38,380 --> 00:20:39,380
Well?
360
00:20:57,130 --> 00:20:58,170
That does it for me.
361
00:20:58,490 --> 00:20:59,910
Huh? I'm done.
362
00:21:00,330 --> 00:21:03,230
No, wait a minute. Wait a minute. What
do you mean you're done? What did you
363
00:21:03,530 --> 00:21:06,070
Well, I did what I said I was going to
do. We have an agreement.
364
00:21:06,270 --> 00:21:08,470
You were going to take care of the
barbecue. I was going to take care of
365
00:21:08,470 --> 00:21:10,970
everything else. I've taken care of
everything else. I'm finished. Yeah, but
366
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:14,530
honey, all you had to do was take the
paper plates and put them in the trash.
367
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:15,990
I'm going to the living room, Cliff.
368
00:21:16,350 --> 00:21:19,590
I'm going to curl up on the sofa and
watch an old movie. What old movie?
369
00:21:19,950 --> 00:21:21,910
Captain Blood with Earl Flynn.
370
00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:24,950
Well, Captain Blood is my favorite
movie.
371
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:31,460
I'll tell you what, I'll leave those
soaking in there, because in the morning
372
00:21:31,460 --> 00:21:34,640
when I come down and see the little
bubbles, we'll have eaten the grease.
373
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,380
You know, like on the commercials, the
little bubbles go up and they eat the
374
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:42,360
grease. So let them eat the grease now,
and then I'll watch the movie with you.
375
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,400
And I can come down here in the morning
and find that nasty thing floating in
376
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,200
the greasy, grungy, scummy water. No,
thank you.
377
00:21:49,540 --> 00:21:50,540
Okay.
378
00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:54,840
You know, I thought that a marriage...
379
00:21:56,750 --> 00:22:02,950
was something that was sharing, you
know, but It seems like that isn't what
380
00:22:02,950 --> 00:22:09,750
is. So I just go back here and scrub
these up Do you promise me that you will
381
00:22:09,750 --> 00:22:14,190
wash that thing first thing tomorrow
morning first thing in the morning after
382
00:22:14,190 --> 00:22:18,310
the little bubbles eat the grease, you
know Okay, come on. Let's watch the
383
00:22:18,310 --> 00:22:20,110
movie. Okay. Well, wait, wait, wait,
wait.
384
00:22:20,330 --> 00:22:23,110
This is a marriage We're sharing
385
00:22:26,139 --> 00:22:27,540
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
386
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:29,800
Hey! Hey! How you doing?
387
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:30,959
How's the setting?
388
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:31,779
We're done.
389
00:22:31,780 --> 00:22:35,400
Yeah. After what we heard tonight,
Shakespeare really started to make you
390
00:22:35,540 --> 00:22:37,580
And now we've made it make even more
thin.
391
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,480
How? Well, we were upstairs practicing
Mark Anthony's feat, Friends, Romans,
392
00:22:41,540 --> 00:22:42,680
Countrymen. You want to hear it?
393
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,400
Well, go with all this.
394
00:22:44,860 --> 00:22:45,860
Okay.
395
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:56,290
I say friends, let me hold your ears.
And Romans, let me hold your ears. I say
396
00:22:56,290 --> 00:23:00,270
countrymen, let me hold your ears. Now
I'm Marcus Antoine's, but they call me
397
00:23:00,270 --> 00:23:03,890
Mark. I didn't come to bite, you see, I
came to bark. About the holes that the
398
00:23:03,890 --> 00:23:07,630
brothers put in Julius D., as far as I'm
concerned, it is cool with me. You see,
399
00:23:07,790 --> 00:23:09,730
Brutus and the boys must know what they
were doing.
400
00:23:10,010 --> 00:23:13,070
Caesar was about to run to Rome to ruin,
cause Brutus is cool.
401
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,940
All Caesar did was to romanize the world
and put some bronze in the palm of
402
00:23:17,940 --> 00:23:21,080
every boy and girl. Put the man so chill
that when they handed him the crown,
403
00:23:21,180 --> 00:23:24,500
Caesar said, No, baby. And turned the
crown down. But Brutus, he said, because
404
00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:28,520
it was in too weak, which is how he
justified the eyes of Mardi. But Brutus
405
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:29,520
cool.
406
00:23:30,860 --> 00:23:35,220
A fake chill homeboy in my house with
Dr. J. So let's get busy till it comes
407
00:23:35,220 --> 00:23:36,880
this way. Dr. was singing to the bridge.
408
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,940
last little season's theme before
homeboy blue was to drop some old gold
409
00:23:49,940 --> 00:23:54,380
one of you jc was your father jc was
your brother and what i want to know
410
00:23:54,380 --> 00:23:57,460
comes such another great season's ghost
the great season's ghost
411
00:24:32,940 --> 00:24:34,500
This show was taped before a studio
audience.
32275
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