All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s03e24 Planning Parenthood

Oye, por ahí viene Vilkovsky, oyele!

Kenny, the girls will be ready in just a
few minutes.

Good, Mr. Suxtable. Why don't you have a
seat?

No, if I sit down, my suit will get
wrinkled.

Well, do you plan to stand up all day?

No, just until Rudy sees me.

Oh, I see. Okay, well, let me fix your
tie here.

Oh, look.

Well, don't we look beautiful?

Thank you.

And what about Kenny?

What about him?

Thank you. Now I can sit down.

Hey, we're all ready to go?

Yes. All right, good. Daddy, where are
you taking us for lunch? I'm keeping it

secret, but all I can tell you is you're
going to have one of the finest

culinary experiences of your very short
lives. Oh, you look

very handsome.

Well, thank you, Morgan.

Do you like desserts?

Yes. Then you get two.

Yes, sir. You look very, very handsome.

Well, then you get three desserts.

Me too.

And you're going to get 12.

Daddy, you're the most handsomest man in
the world.

Oh, you're just saying that because you
want 32 desserts.

I'm not.

You lie.

No, she's not. You're looking pretty
smooth.

Ladies and gentlemen, we are going to a
very, very fine restaurant this

afternoon. And I want all of you to
behave like young ladies and gentle man.

Well, that means we will not act like
heathens.

No heathens.

No heathens.

And we will not act like mad dogs when
the bread comes.

Loud already.

No, Vanessa, I'm gonna relax. This is
Saturday, the only day I can really

unwind.

Would you like to do me a really big
favor?

No. Oh, come on, Phil, you owe me a
favor.

Remember the time when you wanted to buy
that yo -yo that lights up in the dark?

I was the one who lent you that 75
cents.

That was three years ago, Vanessa.

And I paid you back, remember?

Oh, right.

Well, haven't I done a favor for you
since then?

No.

But let me hear what it is anyway.

I want you to teach me how to play
tennis.

Vanessa, you hate tennis.

Oh, that's what I thought until I met
Edwin Slagle.

Oh, Edwin Slagle. Is this the new guy?

Not a new guy. The guy.

See, I was behind him in the lunch line
yesterday, and I overheard him say that

he liked to play tennis.

So I thought if I improved my game, I
could be his partner.

Vanessa, I've seen your tennis game.

You can kiss Edwin Slagle goodbye.

coordinated and you look fabulous in
tennis shorts are you trying to flatter

yes well it worked i'll give you a few
pointers and i wasn't kidding about how

good you look in tennis shorts thanks
one more thing do you think you could

me a good tennis player in one day
vanessa when i finish giving you tennis

lessons you're going to be mrs edwin's
lego

Good afternoon. Welcome to Port -au
-Prince Restaurant.

Thank you. Do you have a reservation?

Oh, yes. Dr.

Huxtable, thank you. Yes, your table
will be ready in a second. All right.

Wow, this place is really fancy.

They have tablecloths.

I bet if you steal something, they get
mad.

I bet they throw you out.

Dr. Huxtable? Yes, sir. Can I talk to
you alone, man -to -man?

Yeah, okay. We'll be right back. Step in
my office there.

Uh, what can I do for you, son?

Well, I can see this place looks like it
costs a lot of money.

Yeah, but I got this covered.

Well, I wanted to know if I could pay
for me and Rudy.

You're kidding.

Yeah, my brother said you should always
pay when you take out a date.

Well, well, how much money have you?

A dollar and three pennies.

All right, give it to me.

Not now.

Wait until the bill comes so Rudy can
see me.

She'll see you. Come on, boy.

Without mantle.

That's right.

Thank you. Thank you. Table's ready.
Wow, look! That's what I want. I want

of those. No, no, that's not the table.

That isn't the table. Come back. Daddy,
can we have that now? Please, please.

You're very handsome. Sit down.

Sit down. I don't want to hear that
handsome stuff. Sit down. Thank you very

much. Thank you, Kenny.

You're welcome.

Well, each fork is for a different
course.

Do I have to use both of them?

No, you don't. Good, because I like this
tall one the best. All right.

I'll trade you my tall one for your
small one. Okay. I'll trade you my food

your plate.

No, no, no, no.

There we go. Nice hot bread.

Yes!

Don't you ever feed these children?

Raising wild dogs.

Oh.

I'll get you some more bread. Please,
thank you.

Hi, Claire.

Hi, what are you doing here? Well,
you're always saying how your little

should drop by more often, so here I am.
Well, I'm glad you're here. You don't

mind having company?

No, not at all.

It's okay, girls. Come in.

Samantha. Hi, good to see you. Hi. How y
'all doing?

I haven't seen you two in a while. Well,
you would if you came down to the

health club more often.

Samantha, don't bother me. I've been
very busy. I hope we're not intruding.

Well, no, I was working, but this is a
great excuse to stop. You should have

seen us at the club pounding these
bodies into shape. And we were tired,

and thirsty and had no place to go. And
Sarah said, let's go bother my sister

Claire. Well, welcome one and all. What
can I get for you? Nothing. We brought

our own.

Great. Come on into the kitchen.

I'll get some plates. Claire don't walk
so fast. My legs are killing me. You're

not the only one. My thighs are so sore,
they're begging for mercy.

You're under the sun, and you're not
allowed to be sore. Oh, Sam, nobody's in

the shape you're in. You play
racquetball three times a week against

You do?

Well, there's this one gentleman from
the office that I play against, and I

didn't want to, but Claire, he
challenged me. And, girl, you know I had

accept. He is sorry he ever did that.
You should see her play. She's

devastating. Do tell, do tell. Well, I
don't always... wins.

Only three out of the last four matches.

And he's still playing you? He's just
trying to get even. And the harder he

tries, the worse he does.

Everybody from the club comes down to
watch some play. You should hear the

crowd, Claire.

When the guy makes a good shot, the men
cheer.

When Sam scores a point, the women go
wild.

I'm gonna have to come down and see
this. Oh, you should. You know, the last

time we played...

I was one point from winning, and
suddenly he gets this mysterious injury

starts limping. He turns to me and says,
well, since we can't finish the game,

it's not official.

You can't blame him. After all, he's
only a man.

All right, would you look at this menu.
It has everything you ever wanted to

eat. Dr. Hexler, what's this?

This is duck with orange sauce.

Duck?

They take the feathers off. What about
the face?

I can never eat a duck face.

All right, forget the duck, okay?

Dr. Huxel. Yes, dear? Are sweetbreads
really sweet?

Forget the sweetbreads.

What are you doing, dear?

I'm a baby duck.

Hello.

How's the spine -looking table doing?
Fine.

Oh, what's everybody doing here today?
Is it someone's birthday?

No. My dad just said he was trying to
take all of us out for lunch. Oh, your

is a brave man.

Yes, and I'm afraid I need your support.

I'll keep you covered. Thank you.

Now, is everyone ready to order?

Yes.

But don't give her any food because she
doesn't have any teeth. Yes, I do.

I know what I want.

You do?

Yeah, my brother told me how to order.

Hit it.

First, I would like an appetizer. Then
soup.

Then salad.

And then I'll have the main course. And
after that, dessert. Thank you very

much.

Now we have some delicious chicken. A
fish.

Hamburger.

No, no, no. We're not going to sit in
this restaurant and order hamburgers.

is a very special restaurant. This is a
very special luncheon we're having. Now,

wouldn't you rather have something you
don't usually have?

Hamburgers!

Sir, may I recommend the hamburgers?

But you don't have hamburgers. Oh, yes,
sir.

You have hamburgers? Yes.

Oh, well, then hamburgers all the way
around.

Hamburgers and fries for everyone.

Yes, indeed.

Nothing like a good tasty salad with
asparagus to get the taste buds ready

the hamburgers!

Daddy, what's this?

Oh, that's an artichoke heart. A heart?

Ew!

No, that's the heart of a vegetable.

Vegetable? Ew!

Dr. Oxable? Yes, sir.

That's a crouton.

What's that?

Toasted bread, and they cut it up into
little pieces like that.

Oh, it's nice.

I know toasted bread, but not this.

Dr.

Hensel? Yes, dear? Is this a beet?

Yes, that's a yummy beet.

I can't eat beets. It's on my list.

Oh, you have a list?

Yeah. May I see it?

Foods that Beth must not have.

Beets. Well, there they are.

If I eat them, my eyes will swell shut.

Morgan, do you have a list? No, but I
cannot eat olives.

There are olives in your salad. Did you
eat any?

Yes, but I feel good so far.

Dr. Do? Yes, sir. I don't have a list.

But I do know that I'm not going to eat
krautens.

I see.

All right. You take the krautens out of
your salad and put them in the bowl over

there. You take the beets and put them
in this bowl here.

Now, Morgan, take the olives out. Don't
eat any more. But if you feel the other

olives kick in, let me know.

Remember Samantha and Glenda? Yeah, hi.

Okay, so how was the tennis?

Theo was hilarious.

Cut it out, Vanessa.

Well, what happened?

Nothing.

Theo was giving me a tennis lesson when
these two good -looking girls asked us

to play doubles. That was the end of my
lesson.

I only did it because I figured it would
improve Vanessa's game to play with

some older girls.

I hardly played. Theo got all macho on
me. He ran around... the court swinging

at every ball they hit to her.

Sound familiar, Sam?

Absolutely. So, Theo, were the young
ladies impressed?

Well, I don't know. I wasn't trying to
impress them.

Mom, halfway through the match, Theo
called Ty Mountain and said, man, it's

out here. Then he took off his shirt and
started to do stretching exercises.

Aunt Sarah, are you making fun of me?
No.

Let's get to the important thing. Did
you get their phone numbers?

Oh, yeah.

But only because they want tennis
lessons. Oh, please.

I'm going upstairs to take a shower.
Goodbye, everybody. Bye, Vanessa.

Well,

it was hot out there.

I had to let my skin breathe.

I was about to faint out there. Oh, I'm
sure you were.

Mom, would it be impolite if I turned
and ran out of here?

No. Thank you. Goodbye, everyone.

Bye, dear.

Oh,

Claire, you got a good one there. I
agree.

Yeah, and he's going to be even better
once he learns to stop trying so hard to

impress the young ladies.

Dr. Stable? Yes, sir?

What's green and slimy and has 100 legs?

I don't know.

I don't know either, but it's crawling
on your shirt.

Good one, Kitty.

That's a good one.

Daddy, why is it taking so long for the
hamburgers? We ordered a hundred years

ago. I know, dear. But good things take
a while.

Is there a playground out back?

No, I don't think so.

Where are you going, dear?

I dropped my napkin. Let me help you.

I'll help you. No, listen. Wait. No.

Is this wonderful?

Oh, boy. Oh,

B -O -Y.

And here you are, sir. Thank you, sir.

Okay. Boy, look at this. Isn't this
wonderful?

What's the matter?

They're too big.

These are double smash -a -roonie. These
are two -handed.

fellas. Just pick them up with two
hands. Come on, and do it. I've never

hamburger like this before.

Me neither.

Why didn't they give us a bun?

Because this is a gourmet restaurant.
See, this is toast.

Like Krautens, right?

No, Kenny, this is toast. See, son, this
is a gourmet hamburger.

Daddy? Yes, dear?

These aren't french fries. Yes, they are
french fries.

Mine still has skin on it. Hey, my fine
-looking table done looked so fine.

Is everything all right?

Sir, could I have a private conversation
with you? Certainly.

My compliments to the chef.

But... The children are not used to
these hamburgers. I understand. They're

big. Right.

So if you would take everything back and
take the French fries.

Have them big, long, thin, light.

Please. And take the burger and... Cover
them with ketchup, mustard, and

pickles. Put them between the bun and
mash them real tight.

Yes. Yes. No problem. I understand
exactly what you mean. I have three

myself. They don't like to eat here
either.

Let's go.

Okay. All right, let's get ready. Hey,
we made a mistake. We made a mistake.

Where's Rudy?

I gave her away.

You did not.

No, I dropped her off at Beth's house.

Dear, I am never going to take out
little children any place to eat as long

can live.

When did they start giving balloons away
at the Port -au -Prince restaurant?

This is not from Port -au -Prince. This
is from a circus burger.

A circus burger?

No. We went to Port -au -Prince. The
children didn't want to eat the duck

So... I ordered hamburgers. The
hamburgers came with toast. They said,

And then the potatoes were thick and
they said, ew.

So this wonderful waiter ran across the
street to Circus Burger.

Came back with four Circus Burger
burgers.

And the children ate and had a ball.

So what's in this bag?

These are Deported Prince.

Hamburgers. This is disgusting.

Hamburgers have ketchup, mustard,
lettuce, tomatoes, mayonnaise, and

fries mashed together?

Yes.

Why did you bring this home?

Well, I just brought him home, I guess,
you know.

I put him in the freezer and maybe one
of the kids will want one for a snack or

something. Cliff, you were going to eat
this yourself.

No, no, no.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, how you doing, son?

Great balloon.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

What's in the bag?

Some burgers from Port -au -Prince.

Oh, can I take a look?

Yes.

Whoa!

Can I have these?

Yes. All right.

Hey, Tom, let me talk to you for a
second.

What? What? I told you to sit down.

Oh. Come on.

Now give me your feet.

Oh. Put your little feet up here.

Oh. And let me relieve you of your
antenna.

No, you can't take my antenna away from
me. These balloons cost me $140.

You know what I would really like,
though?

What? I need a nap. I just want a nap
right here. All right.

Thank you. I'll take my work upstairs so
I don't disturb you. Thank you, dear.

And, darling?

Yes? I love you.

I love you, too.

I'm going to make sure that no one
disturbs you. Okay.

And you have a nice nap. Thank you,
dear.

Hey, Dad.

Do you love your father?

Yeah. I mean, do you really care about
your father?

Yeah, Dad.

Then if you really care about your
father, would you give your father one

those burgers, please?

I can't do that.

You don't have to worry. Your mother is
upstairs.

So let me have a burger.

Dad, that's not it.

I ate them all.

Boy, you ate four burgers in 40 seconds?

I was hungry.

What happened to the fries?

I ate those, too.

You ate the fries in 40 seconds?

I'm sorry, Dad.

But I still really, truly care about
you.

Thank you. Oh, and Dad? Yeah.

The Cosby Show is taped before a studio
audience.