All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s03e22 The Andalusian Flu

Oye, por ahí viene Bill Cosby. Óyele.

What's the matter?

I have what you have.

The Andalusian flu?

Every fiber of my body.

Oh, no.

Cliff, you cannot be sick. You can't.
You can't. I can't? No.

I'm not over my flu yet.

Just give me another half a day and I'll
be all better and you can be as sick as

you want.

No, no, I'm sorry.

My teeth hurt.

I'm hot.

I'm cold.

This is it.

It gets worse.

Why did you give this to me?

I didn't mean to give it to you.

I caught it for one of the children who
probably caught it for one of those

little thickly snotty -nosed kids at
school.

You know, we ought to track that kid
down and shake him.

Then we should go over, find out where
his parents live, and sneeze on them.

And if they have a dog, we'll sneeze on
the dog.

Hey, Dad, I found... What's wrong?

Your father's sick. He has the
Andalusian flu.

Whoa! Well, Dad, you can kiss the next
36 hours goodbye.

But don't worry about anything.

I'll take care of both of you.

You will?

Sure. You took care of all of us last
week when we had it, so let me do the

for you.

That's very nice of you, Theo, but there
are a lot of things to take care of in

this house.

Maybe I should call my mother and father
to come over.

Oh, no, because if you can't call them,
then they'll get it. You don't have to

call Grandma or Grandpa.

I can take care of everything.

You're going to watch Vanessa and Rudy?

Sure. So who's going to watch you?

Dad, I'm 16 years old. I can handle it.
Give me a chance.

Okay. You're in charge.

All right. Wait a minute. Theo, didn't
you tell me you're taking Lana Herman to

the movies?

Oh, yeah.

Well, I'll just call her and tell her we
can't go since you're not feeling well.

Listen, if you need anything, just let
me know.

He's giving up going out with Lana
Herman to look after his parents?

What a lovely boy.

You know, Cliff, there is a positive
side to all this.

What's that?

Well... You and I get to spend the day
together in bed.

Maybe.

Rudy, if Janet calls, tell her I'm on my
way, okay?

Okay. Hey, Vanessa, where are you going?

Over to Janet. You can't. Why not?

Well, Dad came down with the flu. He's
sick in bed with Mom.

Oh, no.

I'm going up there. They need me. Rudy,
don't. You shouldn't bug them. But I

want to make sure they're all right.
Well, they're fine. They just need their

rest. And they're probably going to be
in bed for a couple of days. A couple of

days? Yeah.

Who's going to make dinner?

We'll make it. Who's going to tell me
when to go to bed?

Theo and I will. Who's going to pay the
bills?

Rudy, calm down.

Mom and Dad have been sick before.

But never at the same time.

I know.

We'll just have to pull together and run
the house ourselves.

All right.

Pizza every night.

Vanessa, see right off, that's the wrong
attitude.

We've got to be more responsible, which
means we've got to eat lots of

vegetables and other stuff we don't
like.

Yeah, I guess you're right. With a
little teamwork, we can get everything

smoothly. What should we do first?

Well, first, you two make lunch.

Rudy, you empty the dishwasher.

Vanessa, you finish cleaning the
kitchen, and I'll put together a work

Wait a minute.

What? What are you going to be doing
besides making a work schedule?

Yeah. Oh, well, I have lots to do. I
have to plan the meals and decide what

we're going to eat.

I have to figure out what chores need to
be done.

I'll be doing all the stuff Mom and Dad
do.

In fact, I'm doing the job of two
adults.

So I would really appreciate some
support from both of you. All right, I'm

you. Me too.

Okay, now I know we can do it. Let's get
to work.

Go team, go team, go team.

Let's go team.

I'm thirsty.

So am I.

Well, who's going to get us some water?

You?

I can't get the water. I'm sick.

So am I.

So am I.

So am I.

He'll fit if we needed anything, we
could call him.

Go ahead, call him.

I mean, I can't call him. My head hurts.

My head hurts too, dear.

Okay, let's call him together.

Okay. On the count of three.

One.

Two, three.

Theo.

Theo.

I yelled out.

Cliff, do you think any of them will
ever come up and check on us?

Don't think so, dear. I think they have
us right where they want us now.

Well, then how are we going to get the
water?

I'll go get it.

Here.

We're going to need some help, please.

Vanessa.

What? There's more tape on one of those
magazines, you know.

Theo, nobody sees that part of the
table.

Well, I will if I pick up a magazine.

Then don't pick them up.

Vanessa, you wouldn't be this sloppy if
Mom and Dad were down here, right?

All right, all right.

Good. Now, as soon as you're finished
with that, you can get started on this.

And be sure to separate the wipes. Wait,
I thought I was finished after I did

the dusting. She thought wrong.

Theo, I told Janet I was going to come
over.

Look, Vanessa, when you're sick... Do
Mom and Dad just take off and go to

girlfriend's house?

No. Well, then we should be showing them
the same consideration.

And that's going to take teamwork and
sacrifice.

You see, Vanessa, a chain is only as
strong as its weakest link.

Don't be that weak link.

Yeah, don't give me that.

Okay, Vanessa, it's obvious that you
don't want to pitch in and help for Mom

Dad's sake.

All right, I'll do the laundry.

And here's a grocery list, too.

I have to go to the store, too. What are
you going to do?

Plenty. Not only do I have to sit here
and finish your dusting, but I have to

organize the rest of the house.

All right, I guess I could go to the
grocery store.

Oh, and also, you could bring home a
dozen carnations to Mom and Dad.

It'll make them feel better.

You probably want me to grow them, too.

No, Vanessa, I don't need the sarcasm.

I'm being nice to you.

Can't you at least be nice to your big
brother?

I'll try.

Hi, Rudy. How's it going?

I'm almost finished.

Good. Here.

Be sure to separate the whites.

I can't do laundry.

Why not?

I'm not allowed to use the washing
machine.

Oh, right.

Well, you can still take this down to
the basement and separate the clothes

because I have to go to the store.

Okay.

Oh, and when you're finished, be sure to
do the floors in the living room.

That's your job.

Rudy, when you were sick last week, Mom
and Dad took care of you, right?

Yeah. Well, it's time to return the
favor. But that's going to mean teamwork

sacrifice. A chain is only as strong as
its weakest link.

Don't be that weak link.

Do you understand?

I understand. You want me to do your
work.

Rudy, I don't need the sarcasm.

I'm sorry.

Hey, Mr. Lucas, how you doing?

I'm back here to meet my new assistant.

Hi. Warren L. Davis. How you doing? I
just hired Mr. Davis. Your father

recommended it. Really? Yeah.

I used to work at the hospital, but they
laid me off. I gave them 20 years of my

life. They gave me the boo.

Sorry to hear about that. Oh, don't be.

Working for Mr. Lucas is one of the best
things that ever happened to me. Well,

hiring Mr. Davis is one of the best
things I ever did. He's good.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Of course, now, when it comes to fixing
things, Mr. Lucas is a genius.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

So what are you here to fix?

The banister. Your dad called me about
it last week. Well, yeah, it is loose.

Well, it won't be after Mr. Davis
finishes with it. He's one of my best

Well, thank you. You're welcome.

I'll tell Mom and Dad you're here.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Now, Davis, I'm going to leave you on
your own. Can you handle it? Oh, sure.

Good. This is a nice house.

Yes, it is.

Come in.

Mom.

What's Dad doing on the floor?

He went to get us water, but didn't make
it.

How come he didn't call me?

We were too weak.

Okay, I'll get you some water. Let me
get Dad back in bed.

Dad? Hmm?

Come on, let me get you back in bed.

Who are you?

Theo.

Theo. It's the fever, son. He has 102.

He must be in bad shape.

Come on, Cliff. Get under the covers.

Who's she?

Your wife.

She is? Yeah.

She's nice.

I'll get the water.

No, no.

Don't look at me. I'm sick.

Well, could you at least give me your
phone number?

Here you go, Mom.

Thank you, sir. Here's your water, Dad.

Water? Yeah.

What for?

For you to drink.

Oh, good, because I'm thirsty.

Come on, Dad.

Now, Dad, I don't want you getting out
of bed, okay?

Yes, Theo.

Now, keep the covers on you at all
times. Yes, Theo. I'm gonna go

I'm gonna get a whistle. I'll bring it
up here, and whenever you need me, just

blow on it. Yes, Theo. And, Mom... Mr.

Lucas and his assistant are here to fix
the banister. Is that okay?

Yeah, it's fine.

I'll be right back.

Yes, Theo.

Lovely boy.

Yes, he is.

I wish I had a son like that.

You do.

Really? What's his name?

Theo. Oh.

Same name as the boy that just left you.

Just go to sleep.

Come in.

That's downstairs, honey. That must be
the work on the banister.

Well, make him stop.

I'll get Theo.

More air.

I'm sorry. He probably can't hear
because of the hammering.

Cliff, you go downstairs and tell that
man to stop.

I can't go, Jay. I can't go. You go.

Oh, honey, I really can't go. I'm not
decent.

I'm in my pajamas. I don't want to work
in the city in my pajamas. Come on,

Cliff. Well, Claire, you really don't
look that good anyway.

Excuse me? Okay, okay, I'm going.

Where's my banister?

Oh, it's all over the place. I had to
take it out.

Do you have to hammer?

I don't have to.

But I wouldn't feel right if I got paid
for just standing here.

Mrs. Huxtable and I are very sick
people.

Well, what's wrong with you?

Adalusian flu.

That's bad.

Your head feels like it's been smashed
between two semi -trucks.

Then you get this shooting pain between
your eyes, just like a woodpecker been

tapping away on you.

Oh, no, sir, I never get anything.

You don't? No, because as soon as I feel
something coming on, I drink me a pint

of quinine and a bottle of seltzer.
That'll wipe them germs right out.

Dr. Hudsonville.

Dr. Hudsonville.

I think you better go back to bed.

Yes.

Thank you.

Banister. Oh, well, it's coming right
up. Yes, thank you.

Oh, right up.

No, thank you, Rudy.

Mrs. Davis packed me a lunch.

20 fish on rye with a slice of onion.
You know onion is good for your blood?

You remember that, and you'll live a
long time.

Okay. I used to eat that sandwich every
day at the hospital, but then they laid

me off.

I was there 20 years, and they gave me
the boot.

Well, excuse me. I'm going out to the
truck and have my lunch.

Is Mr. Davis fixing the banister?

Yeah, he got laid off from the hospital.
He was there 20 years, and they gave

him a boot.

Oh. Did you come to help him?

No, but do you want me to help you?

Yes, here. Do a good job.

I'll try.

Myra!

What are you doing?

Rudy, you don't ask the guests to clean.

Why are you doing the floors anyway?
That's Vanessa's job.

Vanessa told me to.

Where is she?

In the kitchen.

Excuse me, Lana. I'll be right back.

Rudy, come with me, please.

Vanessa, why was Rudy doing the living
room floors?

Because I had to go to the grocery
store.

Yeah, and she made me do the laundry,
too.

Vanessa! I did not. I just asked her to
put the clothes in the washer.

All you had to do was turn it on.

I had to do more than that.

Wait, wait, come on, come on.

What's happening to our teamwork here?

It doesn't matter who does what job
because we're all in this together.

Right. Rudy and I do all the work and
you watch.

Yeah, Mr. Big Shot.

Okay. If that's the way you guys feel
about it, I'll increase my share of the

work. Good.

Oh, you got the flowers.

Great. I'll just give these to Lana.

Lana. Well, yeah.

I went all the way to the store to buy
flowers for your girlfriend?

Well, no, see, half of these are for Mom
and the other half are for Lana.

She's going to love these. Thanks.

I don't believe this.

He tricked me into buying flowers for
his girlfriend.

Yeah, and she's sitting in the living
room now.

This is amazing.

I can't go over to Janice, but he can
bring his girlfriend over here.

Oh, I have had it with him.

Me too.

You want to know something else?

Have you noticed the way he never lets
us see Mom and Dad?

I bet he's telling them that he's doing
all the work and we're just goofing off.

embossing us around. Do you know what
Theo is? He's a dictator.

Right. You know what you do with the
dictator?

You overthrow him.

Let's throw him.

These flowers are so beautiful.

If I could, I'd give you flowers like
that every day.

That's so sweet.

You know, Theo, I think it's really neat
the way you're taking care of your

parents. Well, I can't let them down. I
am the oldest in the house now.

That's so mature.

You know, I bet you'd make a great dad.

Oh, you know, it's not really that hard.
You just have to be good at organizing.

Hey, how's it going, team?

What are you guys doing?

You're overspoken. We're not taking this
any longer. Hello, Lana.

Hi, Vanessa.

We've taken our last order from you,
Theo.

You're out, Pat.

Excuse me, Lana. There must be some kind
of misunderstanding.

I'm going to go into the kitchen and
talk to my sisters.

Be right back.

I'm not going anywhere with you.

Please. Can we talk about this somewhere
else? No, but I'll tell you who I am

going to talk to. Mom and Dad. I'm going
up there right now and tell them what

you've been doing.

I'm going to.

Don't. They're sick.

We need the rest.

They've got to hear this. And when they
do, you're going to get it. Let's go.

Wait a minute. Stop.

I command you to stop.

Now.

Lana. I've got it all under control.
I'll be right back.

Don't go in there. You're going to wake
them up.

You just don't want to get in trouble.
Yeah. Come on. Don't go in there,

I'm sorry.

Who are these people?

Your children.

Well, why are they making all the noise?

Now, one at a time. What's the problem?

Theo's a dictator.

I am not.

Yes, you are.

Mommy's giving us all the work while he
does nothing but order us around.

Mom, I'm just delegating
responsibilities, like you and Dad do.

Look, I have a blister. Rudy, get off
the bed. Mom and Dad are sick. Rudy!

All right, that's it.

Starting from this moment, henceforth,
now and forevermore, I declare myself

well. How can you do that? I gotta do
that or these people are going to tear

my house.

Now, Theo, you and Vanessa.

Go down to the kitchen and await further
instruction.

And you with a face, you come with me,
and I'm going to fix your finger.

Things are going to be different now,
Buster.

Had a rough time over there, huh, son?

Dad, I don't know what went wrong.

I tried my best to be a good leader.

I guess I just have wrong followers.

Come over here, son.

Have a sit down. I'll explain it to you.

Are you sure, Dad? No, you're sick. You
need to rest.

Come on over.

What I have to say is important.

A long time ago when I was a little boy,
my grandmother said to me,

chew your food 22 times a day.

Dad, maybe we should talk about this a
little bit later.

No.

Talk about it now.

It's important to...

Brush your teeth before you cross the
street.

Okay, Dad.

And if you meet a stranger with a candy
bar,

you tell him you'd rather have water.

Yeah, Dad.

Dad?

What was I saying?

You were saying that I should get a
sports car for my birthday.

Sports car?

Yeah. Every 3 ,000 miles, you change the
oil.

You know, maybe we should put this
sports car thing in writing.

Whatever you say.

Okay, Dad, here, you just sign the
bottom.

Just sign right here. I'll fill in the
rest.

Dad. Come on, Dad. Don't fall asleep on
me now, Dad.

Dad.

Oh, Dad, come on. Don't fall asleep on
me.

What's the matter?

Hey, Dad.

Theo. Oh, man.

I was having this terrible, terrible
dream.

I had a horrible son.

Who's trying to get me to sign a piece
of paper so that he can get a sports

You're kidding.

No.

I'm happy to see you.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for looking after
me.

No problem, Dad.

Okay.

Dad?

The Cosby Show is taped before a studio
audience.