All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s03e21 I Know That You Know

Oye, por ahí viene Bill Cosby. Óyete.

I'm here.

What? Some things I've been waiting for.

Did I get an email?

Rudy, you always ask me that, and what
do I always tell you?

No. Well?

Well, did I get an email?

No, but look what I got.

Bag -o -gags.

What? Bag -o -gags.

You see, there was an ad in a magazine,
and they showed all these tricks and

jokes you can pull on your friends.

They have some really funny stuff in
here.

Look at this one. What is it?

It's an ice cube with a fly in it. You
see, you put this in somebody's drink,

and they think there's a real fly in
there.

That's not... funny yes it is rudy
you're just too young to understand look

i'm sorry i said that really it's a joy
buzzer that

wasn't funny either rudy are you kidding
this was hilarious the ad in the

magazine was right i'm gonna have hours
and hours of fun with this ah beautiful

rudy do you know what this is a pack of
gum a pack of gum that's what you're

supposed to think this is actually trick
gum When you chew it, it tastes like

dirt.

Theo!

Down here!

Come on, we're gonna get Vanessa to chew
this gum.

Now that's funny.

I can feel like you're chewing.

Theo, I'm having trouble with an algebra
problem. Could you help me? Sure.

This gum is good, isn't it? Delicious.

You want some, Vanessa?

What kind is it? Well, it's a spearmint
peppermint type thing, and it's

sugarless. Okay, I'll have some.

Isn't it the best tasting gum you've
ever tasted?

Absolutely.

No!

It's like dirt!

What is wrong with you people? This is
so immature.

Wait, Vanessa, you should figure it out.

It tastes like dirt!

Wait, where's Mom?

I think she's in the kitchen.

You're not going to give her that gum,
are you? No, I got something better.

Hi, Mom.

Hi. Hi. You know, we were just in there
talking about how great a mom you are.

Really? Yeah, and we really appreciate
you taking us to the movies last night.

You're welcome.

You know, you're doing an excellent job
as a mother, and we look forward to many

more years as your children.

Well, thank you. That was tremendous.

Yeah, I got to admit, you got me good
with that one. Yeah, I got it from the

guy. I've been away for it. You know
what? We should get your dad.

Yeah! Let's do it!

Honey, could you come downstairs?

Right down, bud.

Theo, give him the gum that tastes like
dirt.

Yeah. You have gum that tastes like
dirt? Yeah, it's awful.

It's perfect.

You know what to do.

Yeah. Oh, I was just wondering if we
should have fish for dinner.

That's fine with me, dear. Okay. This
gum is good, isn't it? It's delicious.

Daddy, you want one of them?

Okay, thank you. I don't want a whole
stick. I'll just take a half a stick.

Well, I already have some.

Me too.

Oh, I had some earlier. It was very
good.

Claire?

Oh, thank you. I'd love half. Uh -huh.

Aren't you going to chew it, dear?

Oh, I'm saving it for later.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

Let's have the story on the go. What is
it? Does it turn your teeth green?

Does it explode in your mouth? Or is it
all hot peppers inside?

What is it?

people I've ever seen in my life.

Think you'll pull something on me?

You'll never pull nothing on me because
I'm smart. That's why.

No, Daddy, you're right. You better
believe it. And we never so tried this

the first place. That is correct.

No hard feelings, right? No, of course
no hard feelings. All right, put her

there. All right.

You want to know something?

Really sad. Do you know, I had these
things 39 years ago, man. You can't fool

with this stuff.

But how'd you know he had it? Because I
know all and I see all. You all can't

fool me.

Oh, will you look at this there in your
bum.

I got you, I got you, I got you, I got
you, I got you, I got you.

I'm so good, I don't even know what to
do with myself.

Are you ready?

Ready.

Mom?

Dad? Sondra?

Alvin, what are you doing here?

Oh, we thought we'd just come home for a
visit.

Well, I'm so glad you did.

Is Dad here? No, he's at the hospital.
He had to make rounds. Well, we'd better

wait then.

Wait for what?

Well, we were going to tell you
something, but we'd rather wait until

both together.

Well, why? Is it so bad that you want to
wait, or is it so good that you want to

wait? It's so good.

Oh, okay. Well, so why don't you just
take your things upstairs?

And I'm going to go in here and make her
some tea.

And I can't wait until you're going to
have to tell me what it is now.

But Dad isn't here. I don't care. I want
to know now.

We're engaged.

I'm so happy, too.

Oh,

Alvin. Where's the ring?

It's still in the box, actually.

I wasn't going to wear it until we told
both of our parents.

Oh, have you told your parents? Yes, we
were just at my house. My mother cried.

Oh, I'm going to call your mother now.

Elvin just got engaged.

So?

Theo, aren't you excited? They're
getting married.

Well, it's about time.

Theo!

I'm just kidding, Sergeant.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Elvin, congratulations.

Uh, hmm.

I had to check. Rudy got me.

Real good.

Listen, Francine, we'll get together
very soon. We have a lot to talk about.

Yeah. Okay, I'll see you. Bye -bye. I
can't wait till Dad gets home so that we

can tell him.

Dad doesn't know?

No.

What?

We finally know something that Dad
doesn't.

Yeah. Now, wait a minute.

We can't keep this information from your
father.

Well, Mama, I'm not saying keep it from
him. For once, we know something he

doesn't. Now, there's got to be a way to
use this to get even with him. What are

you guys talking about? This morning,
Dad said we could never fool him, no

matter how hard we tried.

Yeah, and he calls us a bunch of sorry
people.

You want to use our engagement to try to
trick Dr.

Huxtable? Yeah.

I think it's a great idea.

Wait a minute now. This is a good time
for our family.

It's precious. We should cherish it. We
can't use this to play a trick on your

father.

Although we really could get it real
good this time.

Let's do it.

Do you have one down in your office?

Yeah. Would you mind getting it for me?

If I can have a kiss.

You can have it.

Thank you.

Elvin.

Elvin. Quick.

He's on his way down to his office. I'll
go my way. Now, you know what to say

and do. Absolutely. Elvin, make sure
that he comes to me to talk about it. I

will. And Elvin.

Yes? The best way to get him to do what
you want is to compliment his wisdom.

He's a sucker for that.

Mr. Huxtable. Alvin. Glad I found you. I
need to speak to you alone.

What's on your mind?

This.

It's a ring.

An engagement ring.

Well, Alvin, I'm already married.

Not for you, sir. It's for Thundra.
Really?

My...

Yes, sir.

I want to propose to her tonight.

What do you think?

I think that Sandra is a wonderful
woman, and I think that you're a

good man, and you have my blessings.

Thank you.

Dad.

Now, about Mrs. Huxtable.

What about Mrs. Huxtable?

Well, in the past, I've said some pretty
stupid things to her about men being

superior to women.

Yes, yes, you have.

Yes, they've made her very angry.

Well, I mean, that was a long time ago,
and you've changed considerably, and I

think Mrs.

Huxtable will let bygones be bygones.

Maybe, sir, but I'm still afraid to ask
her. You see, if I say something stupid

now, it could really mess things up for
Sandra and me.

That's why I came to see you first.

You have to go to Mrs. Huxtable and get
her blessing for me. If anyone knows the

right thing to say to her, it's you.

You know everyone in this family so
well.

Sometimes you amaze me.

I do?

Yes. You possess a tremendous amount of
wisdom.

Alvin, you made the right move when you
came to me.

You see, I know how to handle Mrs.
Huxtable. There's a special little thing

do. I take her feet and I massage them.
So I think you ought to just let me

handle it. I'll see if I can pave the
road for you and Sandra.

Are you sure you can do it?

Mom?

Yes? I haven't figured out anything.

Well, it would mean a lot to me if I
could get married in the dress that you

wore on your wedding day.

You want to wear my dress?

Yes.

Oh, baby, my baby, yes!

You want my dress?

Hi. How'd it go with Dad?

I was great. He fell for everything.

So did you tell him that you were
worried about getting my permission?

Yes, but he told me not to worry because
he could handle you.

Really?

Where is the man?

He's downstairs planning his strategy.
He'll be up in a minute. I'll be

Mrs. Huxtable? Yes?

I'm new to this family. Do you think
it's all right that I'm tricking your

husband? Oh, Elvin, it's all right.

And it's fun.

Darling? Yes?

Bought the stapler.

Well, thank you.

Yes.

Um, is there room on the sofa for me?

Oh, I'll make room for you.

Thank you.

Now, what are you doing all the way over
there?

You know what. Put him up here.

And to what do I owe this lovely
pampering?

Oh, just credit it to the fact that you
are beautiful.

Keep talking.

You know, I was thinking about Alvin.
Yeah, what were you thinking about him?

Well, I was just supposing... Ah.

What would happen if he asked Sandra to
marry him?

Never. Never?

Never. I say never would I allow such a
thing to happen.

Yeah, but Claire... No, not while I'm
living, not even when I'm dead. Yeah,

fine.

No, it's... No, no, no. I have spent my
entire life waiting for Sondra to dump

that boy. Yeah, but you haven't spent
your entire life with Alvin. Come on.

Well, it feels like it. The boy's
attitudes towards women are downright

primitive. He thinks that the man is the
king.

The woman is supposed to sit there and
just fulfill his every wish and command.

No. No, but the boy's changed
considerably since those times. And look

you did, how you changed me. I do not
want Sondra to go through what I went

through with you.

But I wasn't... All I'm just saying is I
just said suppose.

Cliff, you can suppose all you like,
okay?

But if that boy ever asks my daughter to
marry him, it will be the last words he

utters.

Hey, Dad.

Did you talk to Mrs. Huxtable? Yeah, I
think you better elope.

Why? What's the matter?

You just have to give Mrs. Huxtable more
time, that's all. How much?

Well, more time than you have, I
wouldn't know.

I don't understand, Dr. Huxtable.

You said you could handle it. You said
you knew her better than she knew

herself. Yeah, well, I do, except when
your name comes up.

Then I don't know my wife at all. I'm
sorry.

Dr. Huxtable, I hate to say this, but
you really let me down.

Yes, yes, yes.

But there's got to be something we can
do.

I know what I'm going to do. I'm going
to stand up to Mrs. Huxtable. Well, I

don't think you want to do that.

Tonight at dinner, I'm going to ask
Sandra to marry me whether Mrs. Huxtable

likes it or not. Yeah, well, okay. Come
here.

Sit down, Sandra. Sit down. Sit down
here. Now, I think there's something

we could do. We got one last shot before
dinner.

I'll do anything. Okay. How do you
really feel about women? I gotta have

truth. I feel that women are equal to
men. Do you believe a woman could be

Could be president of a corporation.

Could be president of the United States.
Of course. You believe that? Yes. You

wouldn't have a problem with it? No, she
could be an astronaut by herself.

I don't understand.

You know, fly to the moon in a spaceship
by herself. By herself.

Yes, yes. Come on now, we're going to go
in here and we'll tell Mrs.

Huxtable. Dear, I want you to hear
something.

You should have heard the things that
this young man was saying in the living

room. Go ahead, tell Mr. Huxtable what
you were saying. Well, I was just saying

to Dr. Huxtable that I firmly believe in
the equality between men and women.

There you go.

Really? Yes.

And what else?

Well, it is also my sincere opinion that
a woman can do anything. There you go.

On her own. What else?

A woman can fly to the moon without the
help of any man. There you go.

Well, Elvin, thank you very much for
sharing this attitude with me. That

attitude came from the bottom of my
heart.

I'll see you at dinner.

All right, Elvin.

Now, wasn't that wonderful?

And sincere.

Sincere.

I am amazed.

Yes, good.

I am amazed at how that boy could stand
in my kitchen in front of my face and

lie to me like that.

He was nothing but a dickface.

And you are with him.

I'm with him. Let the record show that
if the boy so much as opens his mouth at

dinner tonight, I will throw him so far
from this house, he'll forget the

address.

No,

Denise, we haven't set a date yet. But
you'll be the first to know because I

want you to be my maid of honor.

I know, it is exciting.

Okay, I'll talk to you later.

Bye.

Wasn't it a surprise?

She screamed, my sister's getting
married to the entire dorm.

Are you going to have a big wedding?

Well, yeah, we'd like to if Mom and Dad
say it's okay. We figure the more the

merrier. How's everybody doing?

Fine. Where's Dad? He went to the
hospital. Oh, you should have seen him

he left. He was pathetic.

He was begging me to give Elvin my
permission.

Begging. This is the greatest thing
we've ever done. Yeah, Dad, it's going

so fake, Dad. Well, he's had it coming a
long time.

I can't wait to see Dad's face at dinner
tonight. Yeah, Dad won't even know what

hit him. I must admit, I did an
excellent job of faking him out.

Well, now, listen, at dinner tonight,
this is very important. Everybody

remember, you must keep a straight face.

Do not laugh. We don't want your father
to suspect a thing.

This is going to be unbelievable.

He'll be sorry he ever called us sorry.

Okay. Right before I serve dessert,
Elvin, you're going to propose to

I'm going to stand up and say, never
will I allow this marriage to take

And Sandra, you're going to stand up and
say, but Mom, you can't do this. We're

in love.

I'll make it real emotional.

Maybe I should start crying.

Do that.

That's perfect. Do that. And this way,
when I throw you out, Dr. Huxtable will

feel so badly.

Maybe we shouldn't do this. I mean,
we're being awfully cruel to Dad.

You know what? He deserves this.

Okay, now after I throw Elvin out, we'll
all turn to your father and say,

Gotcha! Okay, let's get ready.

Remember,

keep a straight face.

This is gonna be a nightmare.

Yes, it was one of the finest meals I've
ever had in this house.

Everybody, dessert is served.

Dessert, too? Yes, homemade apple pie.

Oh, no, no, no. I don't have room for
apple pie. I'm going to go out and walk

this off.

Dad, you can't. Huh? You can't.

What do you mean?

Well, we cannot have dessert without
you. Yeah, it wouldn't be the same.

stay. Please?

Oh, well, I'm touched by this, that my
family would want me here.

Okay. I'll serve.

Before you do that, Mr. Tuxtable,
there's something I'd like to say.

Oh, sit down. Sit down.

Pardon me? Sit down.

But I was going to... No! Sit down and
shut up!

Now... Um, I have something to say. This
is a very sad occasion because

something that was supposed to happen
isn't going to happen. Dr. Tuxtable...

shut up!

You've been coming to this house for a
long, long time, man. And every time you

come here, you bring nothing but turmoil
and havoc.

But thanks to Mrs.

Huxtable, who was the only one who could
see through your little trifling ways.

And because of her, because of her, I
can see clearly who you are. And you are

nuts. Shut up!

You have a problem?

Now, I'm telling you right... As a
matter of fact, you are leaving this

right now. Let's go. You're leaving this
house right... No, you're leaving...

You are listening.

No, little birdie, too.

Now, go ahead and propose to my
daughter.

I definitely do.

Well, I have something to say. Oh, my
goodness.

Elvin, you are marrying my oldest child,
the one who's been with me the longest.

And I want you to know that you're
getting a very special person here.

But what really makes me happy is that
Sandra is getting a very special person,

too.

Thank you.

Dr. Huxtable, I hope you're not too
angry with me for trying to pull a joke

you like that.

The positive show was taped before a
studio audience.