All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s03e18 You Only Hurt the One You Love

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,100 Oye, por ahí viene Bill Cosby! Óyeme! 2 00:01:15,690 --> 00:01:16,750 What are you doing? 3 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:18,010 Having breakfast. 4 00:01:21,050 --> 00:01:22,050 I've got it! 5 00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:23,810 What is that? 6 00:01:24,090 --> 00:01:26,270 My free packet of snappers candy. 7 00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:32,990 You ruined a whole box of cereal to get to the snappers? 8 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:37,290 I didn't ruin it. You did. You put your little grubby hands all in the food. 9 00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:39,150 Don't touch it anymore. 10 00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:40,950 Nobody's going to eat that. 11 00:01:41,350 --> 00:01:42,350 I will. 12 00:01:43,030 --> 00:01:44,030 Hey, Dad. 13 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:45,770 Oh, great, you opened a new box of cereal. 14 00:01:46,050 --> 00:01:47,070 Did you find the snapper's candy? 15 00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:51,030 What's up? Sure. Wait a minute, you know about this? 16 00:01:51,410 --> 00:01:54,470 Yeah. How much does this box of cereal cost? 17 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:59,130 Uh, $1 .79. How many of those did you get? 18 00:01:59,650 --> 00:02:02,970 Five. How much did five go into $1 .79? 19 00:02:04,530 --> 00:02:07,650 Uh, it was somewhere around 35 cents or something. 20 00:02:07,870 --> 00:02:11,070 So each one of these comes out to how much apiece? 21 00:02:12,980 --> 00:02:14,560 35 cents apiece. 22 00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:20,500 Now, when you go to the candy store, what do you pay for these things? 23 00:02:21,060 --> 00:02:22,200 You get two for a penny. 24 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:23,940 Two for a penny. 25 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:29,700 But out of the box, there's 35 cents apiece. Now, what have we learned from 26 00:02:29,700 --> 00:02:30,700 this? 27 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,620 Theo, will you play with me? 28 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,020 Rudy, today's Saturday. It's my day off. 29 00:02:41,260 --> 00:02:42,600 I'll give you all my snacks. 30 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:43,918 Yes, if you do. 31 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,940 You mean you'll give me all five of these snappers just to play with you? Uh 32 00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:50,140 -huh. Okay, come on, Rudy. You don't have to do that. I'll play with you 33 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:51,560 Just give me three of them. 34 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,400 Well, okay. That's a shame, Dr. 35 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:59,440 Bolden. Yeah. Well, I'll talk to somebody as soon as I can. 36 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:01,100 But that is a shame. 37 00:03:01,820 --> 00:03:02,820 Bye -bye. 38 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:04,800 Honey, what's a shame? 39 00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,840 They're cutting 30 people from the staff at the hospital. 40 00:03:08,460 --> 00:03:09,860 Oh, that is terrible. 41 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,360 Yeah, but the main thing is they're cutting Mrs. 42 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,040 Granger. Who's she? 43 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:18,460 Mrs. Granger. You know, the nice lady I told you about does a fantastic job 44 00:03:18,460 --> 00:03:21,160 cleaning up the doctor's lounge and gives us the cookies. 45 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:25,740 And leaves you the apples when you gain weight. Yes, yes, yes. I like that lady. 46 00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:29,400 Well, they're letting her go and I'm not taking it. I'm going to talk to 47 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,860 somebody. That's not right. 48 00:03:31,100 --> 00:03:32,100 Good for you. 49 00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:35,500 Yeah. I'd love to sit here and talk to you about this, but I got to rush down 50 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:36,349 the office. 51 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,290 I'll be back this afternoon. Will you hurry home? 52 00:03:38,990 --> 00:03:39,990 Cliff? 53 00:03:40,530 --> 00:03:41,530 Yes? 54 00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:44,390 Now, I bought this cereal for the children. What are you doing over here? 55 00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:48,650 You're in here digging for those candies, aren't you? 56 00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:52,890 Don't you eat this cereal. You put that cereal back. 57 00:04:07,770 --> 00:04:08,870 Vanessa, did Rudy come through here? 58 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:10,910 Well, she wasn't here, but I don't see her now. 59 00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:18,589 Gotcha, you're it. 60 00:04:19,029 --> 00:04:22,110 Hey, hey, you guys better take it easy. You know how Mom and Dad feel about 61 00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:24,230 horseplay. Vanessa, we're just playing the game of tag. 62 00:04:24,930 --> 00:04:25,689 You're it. 63 00:04:25,690 --> 00:04:28,670 I'm not playing. We're not supposed to do this kind of thing in the house. 64 00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:29,750 you know you're going to get in trouble. 65 00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:32,830 Vanessa, I promise Rudy I will play with her. Quit being such a downer. 66 00:04:33,170 --> 00:04:34,270 Okay, have it your way. 67 00:04:34,510 --> 00:04:37,110 Come on, Rudy, let's play in my room. We don't need Miss Killjoy. 68 00:04:37,470 --> 00:04:39,110 Yeah, sour head. 69 00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,870 Someday you'll appreciate me for my wisdom. 70 00:04:42,190 --> 00:04:44,790 Well, that's what someday I'll be happy if I just appreciate you. 71 00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:46,130 You're it. 72 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:51,490 Hi, Dad. 73 00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:53,610 How you doing? 74 00:04:53,790 --> 00:04:54,790 Did you go shopping? 75 00:04:54,970 --> 00:04:55,970 Yeah. 76 00:04:56,050 --> 00:04:57,290 Looks like you bought a lot. 77 00:05:59,530 --> 00:06:00,950 Take your hand away. 78 00:06:01,690 --> 00:06:03,510 Oh, Rudy, you look awful. 79 00:06:04,150 --> 00:06:05,370 Oh, thanks a lot. 80 00:06:05,870 --> 00:06:10,070 No, no, you don't look awful. You don't look awful. I want to see a doctor. 81 00:06:12,650 --> 00:06:15,710 I am a doctor, okay? No, you're not. You're a daddy. 82 00:06:15,950 --> 00:06:16,990 I understand. Okay. 83 00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:21,750 I want Mommy. Mommy went away. She won't be back for a while. No, wait. 84 00:06:22,330 --> 00:06:24,430 No, no, no. Come on. I got to look at it here. 85 00:06:24,650 --> 00:06:26,570 No, no, I haven't touched you yet. 86 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,320 Okay, suppose I touch you the way Mommy taught me. 87 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:34,520 Okay. All right? Now, my hands are approaching your face. No, I haven't 88 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,520 you yet. 89 00:06:35,700 --> 00:06:39,140 Come on, here. I'm putting my hand on top of your head, all right? And I'm 90 00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:41,860 putting this one on top of the head. This one is free, all right? 91 00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:46,180 Now, I'm coming in, just want to take a look at it. No, no, I haven't touched 92 00:06:46,180 --> 00:06:47,420 you yet. I haven't touched you. 93 00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:49,860 I'm touching your face, by the way. 94 00:06:50,100 --> 00:06:51,940 Ow! No, no, it's too late now. 95 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:56,480 Okay, now, all you've done is you've scraped your face there. 96 00:06:57,020 --> 00:06:59,160 I don't think any bones are broken. 97 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:03,500 You got a little cut there, an upper lip. Yes. 98 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:07,460 I'll get my bag, be back, clean you up. All right? 99 00:07:07,980 --> 00:07:08,980 Okay. 100 00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:10,200 Keep an eye on her. 101 00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:14,660 I told you guys not to run in the house. 102 00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:15,879 We weren't running. 103 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:17,700 Well, then how did it happen? It was an accident. 104 00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:18,980 What were you doing? 105 00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:21,060 Well, remember the tumblers we saw at the circus? 106 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,860 The ones that push people up in here with their feet and then catch them? 107 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,000 Instead, it was an accident. 108 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,940 Right, like the time when I was six and you made me be the human cannonball? 109 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,500 How was I supposed to know you were going to go that far? 110 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,140 What's the human cannonball? 111 00:07:45,740 --> 00:07:49,640 Theo locked his hands in front of him. Then I put my foot in his hand. He yells 112 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,400 fire. He throws me straight up in the air. 113 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,900 I'm supposed to curl up in a ball and land on the bed. 114 00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:57,460 Except Theo throws me over the bed and I land on the dresser. 115 00:07:59,420 --> 00:08:01,920 You opened up. You weren't supposed to open up. 116 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,520 That was your fault. I yelled fire, and you panicked and started waving your 117 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,520 arms. 118 00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:11,820 Judy, never listen to him. No matter how much fun he says you're going to have, 119 00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:12,839 don't do it. 120 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,740 He's injured every girl in this house. 121 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:18,360 Look, one of these days, we're all going to get together, and we're going to 122 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,360 hurt you good. 123 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,080 Forget about that. 124 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,600 You've got to come up with an excuse. 125 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:24,240 What do you mean, an excuse? 126 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,880 Well, remember how much trouble we got into when Dad found out we were doing 127 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:28,880 human cannonball? 128 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,240 We got grounded for two weeks. 129 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:31,800 I don't want to get into trouble. 130 00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:34,140 That's why we've got to be cool about this. 131 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:36,679 Wait, I got it. 132 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,720 If Dad asks what happened, we'll just say you fell off the bed. 133 00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,080 Which is sort of true because you bounced off the bed right after you hit 134 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,080 wall. 135 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:48,800 Wait a minute. You've got to come up with more than that. What if Dad asked 136 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,240 Rudy was doing when she fell off the bed? 137 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,520 How about if we say she was reaching for a book and she slipped? 138 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:55,340 What do you mean, we say? 139 00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:57,920 I'm not saying anything. I'm just an advisor. 140 00:08:58,460 --> 00:08:59,460 Well, then advise me. 141 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,180 Well, you're going to have to say Rudy hit her head on something when she fell 142 00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:03,600 off the bed, like a shoe. 143 00:09:04,140 --> 00:09:05,280 No, a shoe wouldn't hurt. 144 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,660 How about if we say she hit her head on one of my barbells? That sounds good to 145 00:09:09,660 --> 00:09:14,040 me. Okay, Rudy, remember, you were on the bed, you reached for a book, you 146 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,580 slipped, then you hit your head on one of the barbells. Got it? 147 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:17,800 Okay. 148 00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:22,500 Thank you. 149 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:23,820 Hold on to this. 150 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:27,840 When I'm finished, you put that ice on her face to keep the swelling down. 151 00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:29,360 What are you going to do to me? 152 00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:34,610 I'm going to clean your face off with some of the things in this bag that I 153 00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:36,130 borrowed from a real doctor. 154 00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:39,230 Good one, Dad. 155 00:09:45,370 --> 00:09:47,670 Now, how did this happen? 156 00:09:48,570 --> 00:09:52,330 Um, I slipped on the book and I hit my head on the shoe. 157 00:10:26,599 --> 00:10:31,820 I finished my work as fast as I could so I could come home and be with you. 158 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:37,020 And I took a nap so that when you'd come home, I'd be fresh. 159 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,740 Are you fresh? 160 00:10:43,980 --> 00:10:45,220 Farm fresh. 161 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:48,740 Hi, Mommy. 162 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,160 Rudy? 163 00:10:58,920 --> 00:10:59,779 What happened here? 164 00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:03,620 Oh, she'll be all right, dear. Face is a little swollen, maybe a little pain, 165 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:04,699 but she's all right. 166 00:11:04,700 --> 00:11:06,040 Honey, how did you fall? 167 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,620 I slipped off Theo's bed. 168 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:10,860 Cliff, how did this happen? 169 00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:13,920 I wasn't there when it happened, dear. You have to ask Theo. 170 00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:16,160 Honey, what were you doing when you fell? 171 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:20,520 I was reaching for a barbell, and I fell on my shoes. 172 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:27,760 Honey, go upstairs and tell Theo to come down, please. 173 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:29,920 Okay, Mom. 174 00:11:31,460 --> 00:11:35,620 Now, did you hear that pitiful excuse she reached for a barbell and fell on 175 00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:40,260 shoes? The child is obviously not telling us the truth, and whatever has 176 00:11:40,260 --> 00:11:43,120 happened, I will bet that Theo is involved. What did he have to say? 177 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:44,820 I didn't ask him anything. 178 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:47,340 Cliff, don't you want to know how Rudy got hurt? 179 00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:52,000 Oh, dear, I've been living with these children for 20 -some -odd years, so I 180 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,000 don't ask him anything. I just patch him up. 181 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:04,180 Fine. T .O., you were with Rudy at the time of her accident. Is that correct? 182 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:07,520 Oh, well, you see, actually, I was with... I'll just answer yes or no. 183 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:10,999 Well, yes. 184 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,060 Is this the result of the human cannonball? 185 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,620 No, Mom, I promise you, it was not the human cannonball. 186 00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:20,280 All right, then what were you doing? 187 00:12:21,140 --> 00:12:22,119 Uh, doing? 188 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,200 When this happened. 189 00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:24,980 Oh! 190 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:29,390 You see, we were upstairs. May I remind you that there's a stiff penalty for 191 00:12:29,390 --> 00:12:30,710 lying to your mother? 192 00:12:32,890 --> 00:12:33,890 All right. 193 00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:38,270 We were playing a circuit, and we were the tumblers, and I threw Rudy in there 194 00:12:38,270 --> 00:12:40,350 with my feet, and she hit a wall. 195 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:44,110 A wall? 196 00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:46,870 I hit the wall. 197 00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:52,370 You hit the wall with your face? 198 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,500 Baby, are you sure you're all right? 199 00:12:57,700 --> 00:12:59,880 I can't breathe through my nose. 200 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,080 Now, this is serious. We have to call a doctor. 201 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:07,860 I told him to. 202 00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:11,700 I think she'll be all right, dear. She doesn't need a doctor. How do you call 203 00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:12,700 Dr. Collins? 204 00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,700 She's going to be fine. I don't want to have to call Dr. 205 00:13:15,980 --> 00:13:18,640 Collins and have her open up her office on a Saturday. 206 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:21,760 Okay, then I'll call her. I'll have her meet you at the emergency room in the 207 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,980 hospital. Come on, Rudy. We're going to the hospital. 208 00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:25,930 Good. Well, I'll come along. 209 00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:28,550 No, Phil, that's all right. You don't have to go. 210 00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:32,210 Since you're so interested in the circus, I'll let you join one. 211 00:13:33,010 --> 00:13:37,130 The Huxtable Circus. And you can start at the bottom. This is the big top, and 212 00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:40,190 your job is to clean the big top from top to bottom. You can start with those 213 00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:43,230 windows over there, and after that, you can do the floors. 214 00:13:44,610 --> 00:13:45,610 Yes, Mom. 215 00:13:45,830 --> 00:13:47,950 Son, look at it this way. 216 00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,190 Here, no elephants. 217 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:10,000 Hi, Mr. Howell. Ah, Dr. Oxtable. Come in, come in. Thank you. 218 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:12,720 You here to do a delivery? 219 00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:16,380 Oh, no. My little daughter bruised her face, and I brought her in so Dr. 220 00:14:16,580 --> 00:14:18,660 Collins could see her. Please, please, sit down. 221 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:19,880 Thank you, thank you. 222 00:14:20,220 --> 00:14:22,000 You're here to talk about the layoffs. 223 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,560 Right. Now, who do you want me to put back on staff? 224 00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,260 Uh, Mrs. Granger. 225 00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:28,800 Oh, yes, the lady that cleans the doctor's lounge. 226 00:14:29,020 --> 00:14:32,580 You know, you're the twelfth doctor who's asked me to keep her. Well, good, 227 00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:33,940 because she's fantastic. 228 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:35,560 Dr. Oxtable. 229 00:14:35,870 --> 00:14:37,150 I'm the hospital administrator. 230 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:38,610 It's not my decision. 231 00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:42,250 The board of directors ordered me to cut 10 % of the hospital staff. 232 00:14:42,610 --> 00:14:44,430 Yeah, but she's been here 15 years. 233 00:14:44,870 --> 00:14:46,990 Okay, Dr. Huxtable, here. 234 00:14:47,230 --> 00:14:49,250 Now, you're me, and you're doing my job. 235 00:14:49,650 --> 00:14:53,490 Take a look at this list. Tell me who I should lay off and who I should keep. 236 00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:55,030 Come on, Mr. 237 00:14:55,230 --> 00:14:57,050 Howe. No, no, no, no, no. I am Dr. 238 00:14:57,290 --> 00:14:59,910 Huxtable. You're Mr. Howe. Do your job. 239 00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:04,270 All right, we'll keep Mrs. Granger. Fine. Now, all you got to do is find 240 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,470 somebody else to lay off. 241 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,000 Okay. George W. Beck. 242 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:09,980 Why George W. Beck? 243 00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:11,920 Because I don't know him. 244 00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:15,800 He's an orderly on the orthopedic floor. 245 00:15:16,020 --> 00:15:19,720 Now, 16 doctors have told me that he's crucial to that department. 246 00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,500 Well, then you better keep him. 247 00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,180 You know I'm not a man who believes in throwing people out on the street. But 248 00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:27,960 this hospital serves many low -income patients. 249 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,780 And when our funds get cut, we've got to do whatever we can to ensure that these 250 00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:37,040 people continue to receive proper health care. Unfortunately, you can't argue 251 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,040 with math. 252 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,920 Okay, well, I'll just keep thinking, then. 253 00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:44,440 Good. If you have a solution, come and see me. No waiting. 254 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,000 All right. How's the wife? 255 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,000 Just as feisty as ever. 256 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,020 Well, just make sure you don't lay her off. 257 00:15:58,569 --> 00:15:59,569 Oh, Mrs. 258 00:15:59,730 --> 00:16:01,270 Granger, nice to see you. 259 00:16:01,470 --> 00:16:02,490 I'm glad you're here. 260 00:16:02,770 --> 00:16:03,770 I brought some cream. 261 00:16:04,170 --> 00:16:05,170 Uh -oh. 262 00:16:07,010 --> 00:16:08,430 Ah, cookies. 263 00:16:09,370 --> 00:16:14,270 Yeah, I have cookies and I have apples, but first we have to see which you're 264 00:16:14,270 --> 00:16:15,350 going to eat. Uh -oh. 265 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,370 You're holding it in. 266 00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:20,750 All right, but you're within the limit, so you get cookies. 267 00:16:20,950 --> 00:16:22,990 Good, good, good. What kind? 268 00:16:23,630 --> 00:16:28,050 Those are a peanut butter chocolate chip with macadamia nuts. All right. 269 00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:29,810 Well, these should be eaten. 270 00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:33,250 I hope you brought some for the other doctors. You too. That's it. 271 00:16:33,510 --> 00:16:34,489 Oh, no. 272 00:16:34,490 --> 00:16:37,170 So, how you doing? I'm fine. 273 00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:38,690 How are you doing? Oh, great. 274 00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:43,910 And how is that grandson of yours? Oh, the joy of my life. 275 00:16:44,650 --> 00:16:48,070 I asked him, what do you want to be when you grow up? He says, I want to be a 276 00:16:48,070 --> 00:16:50,030 grandma. And I said, why a grandma? 277 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:55,060 He says, because everybody loves grandmas, and grandmas love to give 278 00:16:55,060 --> 00:16:57,200 presents. Now, I'm no fool. 279 00:16:57,460 --> 00:17:00,760 Uh -huh. I mean, I know that kid is trying to con me into giving him a 280 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,840 So, did you get him one? Of course. 281 00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:07,700 I love what he has to say about grandmas. Mm -hmm. 282 00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:10,980 What does he have to say about grandpas? Oh, nothing. 283 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,339 He's never seen him. 284 00:17:12,579 --> 00:17:13,819 Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that. 285 00:17:14,020 --> 00:17:14,759 I'm not. 286 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,420 My grandson isn't missing anything. 287 00:17:17,260 --> 00:17:19,500 You see, I got married to my husband when I was 16. 288 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,940 Now, that I didn't know. Oh, yeah. I was pregnant, too. 289 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:25,579 And that you didn't know. 290 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:31,460 Sixteen? Sixteen. It took me five months to tell my parents. 291 00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:36,140 Well, the next morning, my father took me and Innes, and we stood there in 292 00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:37,139 of the judge. 293 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,920 It was some honeymoon. 294 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:43,280 And I spent it trying to find a job, and I spent it trying to find an apartment 295 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:44,280 that we could afford. 296 00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:46,820 So you didn't go to Niagara Falls? 297 00:17:47,060 --> 00:17:48,060 Oh, no. 298 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:53,560 Well, anyhow, the night of our first anniversary, Innes said to me, listen, 299 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,480 honey, I'm going out to buy a pack of cigarettes. I'll be right back. 300 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:01,200 Well, it must have been one long line of that store because he never came back. 301 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:02,980 Oh, yeah. 302 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:07,420 For three days, my father and I looked for that boy. 303 00:18:08,140 --> 00:18:11,140 Suddenly I realized, what am I killing myself for? 304 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:13,900 I mean, why should I worry about a piece of trash like that? 305 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:21,290 But, as the old saying goes, It is better to have loved and lost than never 306 00:18:21,290 --> 00:18:22,290 have loved at all. 307 00:18:22,730 --> 00:18:25,550 Shakespeare. Alfred Lord Tennyson. 308 00:18:25,970 --> 00:18:28,550 Ah. He's an English poet. Don't you know that? 309 00:18:28,770 --> 00:18:30,270 Was it in the 1800s? 310 00:18:30,530 --> 00:18:31,530 Downtown. 311 00:18:32,970 --> 00:18:35,230 You know, my daughter taught me all about Tennyson. 312 00:18:35,490 --> 00:18:36,730 Really? Oh, yeah. 313 00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:41,010 I worked at two jobs. See, that girl's just cool. 314 00:18:41,230 --> 00:18:41,849 Mm -hmm. 315 00:18:41,850 --> 00:18:43,790 Every penny went into her education. 316 00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:45,890 And then... 317 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,660 She used to come home at night with all the books that she had studied. 318 00:18:50,260 --> 00:18:54,260 She'd sit me down, and she'd say, Mom, you have to read this. 319 00:18:54,460 --> 00:18:55,459 Good for her. 320 00:18:55,460 --> 00:19:02,180 I not only got educated, but that girl graduated in the top 1 % of her 321 00:19:02,180 --> 00:19:03,700 class. Did I tell you that? 322 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:04,960 No. 323 00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:12,020 Well, my daughter is a college professor, and her husband, Jake, is an 324 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:15,160 electrical engineer, and he... 325 00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:16,490 Doesn't smoke. 326 00:19:16,710 --> 00:19:18,770 So it won't be going out for any cigarettes. 327 00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:22,670 You better believe it. 328 00:19:24,610 --> 00:19:25,650 I'm going to miss you. 329 00:19:26,050 --> 00:19:31,450 I heard about the cutbacks. Is there anything I can help you with? 330 00:19:31,650 --> 00:19:32,650 Nope. Okay. 331 00:19:32,850 --> 00:19:33,990 So what are you going to do? 332 00:19:34,310 --> 00:19:35,310 Well, I'm not sure. 333 00:19:35,590 --> 00:19:36,950 First, I was a little afraid. 334 00:19:37,830 --> 00:19:43,350 But then my daughter says, Mom, you're a bright, intelligent woman. 335 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:46,250 Well, I couldn't disagree with that. 336 00:19:47,650 --> 00:19:53,490 But then she says, since you paid for me to go through college, how about if I 337 00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:58,470 pay for you to go through college? I love it. I love it. Oh, come on. No, I 338 00:19:58,470 --> 00:20:01,790 it. Get out. Can you see me bopping around a college campus? 339 00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:03,690 Yes. Yeah, sitting in a classroom? 340 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:07,870 Yes. With my grandson on my back feeding him homemade cookies? It would be 341 00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:08,950 beautiful, yes. 342 00:20:11,810 --> 00:20:13,050 Yeah, I can see that. 343 00:20:13,530 --> 00:20:14,530 Mm -hmm. 344 00:20:14,730 --> 00:20:17,830 I mean, I'm not saying that I'm definitely going to school. 345 00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:19,710 But I'll tell you one thing. 346 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:24,070 For the first time in my life, I am in charge of what I am going to do. 347 00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:27,370 I am the master of my fate. 348 00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:30,870 I am the captain of my soul. 349 00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:32,370 Who said that? 350 00:20:34,490 --> 00:20:37,330 Uh, Alfred Lord Tennyson. 351 00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:40,250 Buddy Rich. 352 00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:45,370 Look it up. Look it up. 353 00:20:46,390 --> 00:20:48,410 Well, I am going to miss you. 354 00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:49,790 Yeah, oh, uh, listen. 355 00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:51,290 What? 356 00:20:51,870 --> 00:20:52,870 Oh, no, no, no, no. 357 00:20:53,890 --> 00:20:54,890 Cookies are on me. 358 00:20:59,710 --> 00:21:01,290 Excuse me, Dr. Hutzable? 359 00:21:01,630 --> 00:21:04,710 Yes, sir. You don't know me, but my name is Warren Davis. I'm in laundry 360 00:21:04,710 --> 00:21:07,670 service. This is my last day. They just laid me off. 361 00:21:07,890 --> 00:21:08,890 Yes, well, I'm sorry. 362 00:21:09,190 --> 00:21:12,090 Well, I hear you went to Mr. Howell to get Mr. Granger her job back. 363 00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:13,380 Yes, I did, yes. 364 00:21:13,580 --> 00:21:16,960 Well, it's all over the hospital, and I heard you beat him up real bad, too. 365 00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:21,360 Well, no, I didn't. Well, that's exactly what I want you to do for me. Well, Mr. 366 00:21:21,460 --> 00:21:26,120 Davis, see, I... Go down there and tell him about me. Now, the name is Warren L. 367 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:27,580 Davis. Okay. 368 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:34,200 All I want is my job back. Oh, Mr. Davis, I talked to Mr. Howe, and he said 369 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:35,200 has to go anyway. 370 00:21:35,540 --> 00:21:37,500 What? I said... 371 00:21:37,870 --> 00:21:43,450 I went down there and I talked to Mr. Howe and Mr. Howe said, I'm sorry, I'm 372 00:21:43,450 --> 00:21:44,450 going to have to let Mrs. 373 00:21:44,630 --> 00:21:45,650 Granger go also. 374 00:21:46,010 --> 00:21:48,630 Oh, well then don't say nothing for me then. 375 00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:51,530 Because you're the wrong man. 376 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:54,350 I'm going to go and see if I can find Dr. Ross. 377 00:21:54,590 --> 00:21:57,650 Because somebody's going to tell me something because I ain't got my job 378 00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:58,650 here. 379 00:22:12,170 --> 00:22:16,350 Dr. Collins said it was just a little swelling, no broken bones, nothing 380 00:22:16,350 --> 00:22:21,710 important. Same thing another doctor said, who will remain nameless before he 381 00:22:21,710 --> 00:22:22,950 was put out of the joint. 382 00:22:24,230 --> 00:22:25,910 I think you look beautiful. 383 00:22:26,250 --> 00:22:30,650 Thanks. You should have seen her, dear. She was so great, we went into the 384 00:22:30,650 --> 00:22:35,490 emergency room there, and she went right up, gave her name, her address, knew 385 00:22:35,490 --> 00:22:37,710 her phone number and her zip code. 386 00:22:37,990 --> 00:22:38,990 Oh, good for you. 387 00:22:39,340 --> 00:22:40,900 And where did you get that lovely hat? 388 00:22:41,140 --> 00:22:42,140 It was a present. 389 00:22:42,260 --> 00:22:46,440 All the nurses chipped in and bought the hat and took her around and gave her 390 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:51,160 lunch and everything. And she almost got out of the hospital with some doctor's 391 00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:52,160 reflex hammer. 392 00:22:52,460 --> 00:22:54,040 I had a good time. 393 00:22:54,460 --> 00:22:56,740 I would say so. Why don't you take your things upstairs? 394 00:22:57,080 --> 00:22:58,480 Get ready for a nap, okay? 395 00:22:58,740 --> 00:23:01,280 Okay. All right, I'm going to come up later and see how you're doing. 396 00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:03,820 All right. Do me a favor, please, miss. 397 00:23:04,350 --> 00:23:08,230 If anybody wants to make a cannonball out of you and bounce you off of a wall, 398 00:23:08,370 --> 00:23:11,090 you send them down here first. I'll bounce them. 399 00:23:11,610 --> 00:23:12,610 Okay. 400 00:23:15,350 --> 00:23:16,350 Well, 401 00:23:16,990 --> 00:23:18,810 I saw Mrs. 402 00:23:19,050 --> 00:23:20,170 Granger this afternoon. 403 00:23:20,730 --> 00:23:21,770 How's she taking it? 404 00:23:21,970 --> 00:23:25,050 Are you kidding me? Her daughter's going to put her through college. 405 00:23:25,550 --> 00:23:29,930 Stop it. Listen, I'm telling you, she's going to go to college. Her daughter 406 00:23:29,930 --> 00:23:35,140 said, Mom, since you work... two jobs and sent me through college. Now that 407 00:23:35,140 --> 00:23:38,360 you're not working, I'm going to send you through college. And she said she 408 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:39,139 might go. 409 00:23:39,140 --> 00:23:40,140 That's wonderful. 410 00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:44,460 Yes, I was thinking about asking her daughter to come down here and talk to 411 00:23:44,460 --> 00:23:45,460 children. 412 00:23:48,100 --> 00:23:50,100 But we've already been through college. 413 00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:52,380 That's all right. I'm willing to settle for the cash. 414 00:24:29,550 --> 00:24:32,050 The Cosby Show is taped for a studio audience. 31411

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