All language subtitles for The Cosby Show s03e11 War Stories

Oye, por ahí viene Vilkovsky, oyele!

No, no, no. You guys come on over.

You're welcome.

Well, Claire has to teach a class at the
community center tonight, so it's...

Come on. You're welcome.

All right, Dad.

Bye -bye.

What? My father.

That's what.

My father.

said to me, he and Homer Dobson are
coming over here and they want me to

one of their old army buddies.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Now, this wouldn't have anything to do
with Pinochle. Yes.

And my father didn't say anything about
Pinochle, did not mention cards at all.

But I know, I know that he and Homer are
bringing this man over to help them

cheat me.

Why would they do that?

Because I beat them the last time they
played here. And I'll bet you that this

man has never been in the Army. Number
two, I bet you he's some Pinochle

champion from out of state. Well, I'm
glad I won't be here tonight. When you

your dad get together to play Pinochle,
it is pathetic.

Yes.

She does.

I would just like to say one thing. I've
been upstairs for an hour putting this

outfit together. Now, I think I've done
very good work. However, Vanessa here is

doubting me. Vanessa, that is a very
smart outfit.

But do I look good? You look stunning.

Oh, thank you, Mother. Okay, Denise, I
say we go with this. Hey, who?

Who?

What about me?

Sorry, Dad.

What do you think?

I think you look, uh, bold.

yet subtle.

I think you look contemporary, yet
aromatic.

Thank you, Dad.

Now, where are you going in that thing?

I'm going to a skin party.

Oh, yeah? Who are you going with?

With a friend of hers.

Which friend?

Just a friend.

Well, what was the friend's name?

Tyrone!

Tyrone. That's the boy?

Unless it's short for...

Tyronella?

Uh, no, Dad. It's a boy.

Aha!

So, what time is this young man coming
over to pick you up?

You know, sooner or later, he's got to
come here to pick you up.

And then he'll meet me, Mr.

Charm.

Tyrone, you belong to me.

Hello, operator?

Hi, my name's Theodore Huxtable. I don't
think my phone is ringing when it's

supposed to, so do you think you can
call me back and check it?

Thanks.

Yeah, I guess it is working.

Thanks, operator.

What's that all about?

Well, I was expecting this phone call
from a girl today, and the phone never

rang.

Well, why don't you call her up?

Well, I can. It's past the deadline.

Oh, you mean her parents won't let a
call come in at this hour?

No, it's not that kind of deadline.

See, I asked Condola Burns to go out
with me tonight.

She said she was 99 % sure she would.
And when she was 100 % sure, she'd call.

I didn't know what to do, so Cockroach
told me to use the deadline delivery

method.

cockroach deadline delivery message.

You see, you ask a girl to go out with
you, and if she says she's not sure,

you tell her that she has to give you an
answer by a certain time, and she can

forget it. And that's exactly what I
did.

You might as well go to bed now.

Cockroach deadline delivery.

Well, I'd like you to meet a dear friend
of mine, Sergeant Major Boswell Stokes,

U .S. Army, retired.

Ah -ha. Well, how are you, sir? Nice to
meet you. Pleased to meet you. Come on.

Your father tells me you're in the Navy.
Oh, yes.

Well, I'll try not to hold that against
you.

Well,

it's good to see you, sir.

Thanks for having us over. Well, thank
you for coming over. Well, I haven't

you since the last time we played cards.

Yeah? I missed you.

Same here.

You know, it's quite a coincidence.

This morning I was talking to my wife,
and what we were discussing is how

don't just stop by and visit anymore
like they used to in old days.

Is that the truth?

Yes, indeedy.

And that's why it's so important that
the three of you came by.

It's wonderful.

Come by and sit and chat and be
concerned about me and my family.

Well, that's why we're here.

Yes, indeedy.

Well, wonderful.

Of course, we don't have to just sit and
chat.

We could engage in some entertaining
activity if we want.

Does anybody have any ideas?

Yeah.

I think we could put on our coats and
take a nice walk by the river.

Uh, we parked down by the river. We
already took that walk.

But there is something we haven't done
in a while.

What's that?

Cards? True.

Cards.

Well, I mean, that sounds fine for me,
but I don't know if Sergeant Stokes

here... Well, a game of cards? Well, I
think that'd be nice.

In particular... Pinochle.

So? Well, that looks good.

I don't know.

Vanessa, come on. You have tried on
everything in your closet. You've even

on my clothes.

Just go with this. This looks the best
on it.

It looks good now, but how is it going
to look when I put the skates on? Now,

that's the question.

Put on your skates.

You know, that's a great idea.

Oh, Vanessa, I love those shoes. You
know, they're definitely you.

Lay off, Theo. I'm trying to look my
best for tonight, okay? What's the big

deal? You're going to a skating party.
You're going to spend most of your time

falling down anyway.

Yes, I should be falling down with a
date, which is more than we could say

you tonight.

Everyone gets stood up once in a while.

Oh, yeah, especially when they use the
cockroach deadline delivery method.

Well, we're working a few bugs out of
it. Don't worry, Phil. You'll get a date

someday.

Say,

Homer, do you happen to remember an old
singing group called The Diamonds?

The Diamonds? Yeah, I remember The
Diamonds.

They sang a song I really liked.

Do you remember the name of it?

I don't know. The Diamonds used to sing
a lot of songs. But what I think you're

thinking of is, I ain't got none.

Partner, they're trying to cheat us.

Oh, I don't know what you mean, partner.
All I hear is two gentlemen discussing

their love of music.

As a matter of fact, I think a little
later we ought to go to some clubs and

listen to some music.

That's a good idea.

How many clubs did you have in mind?

About two.

Hello, Ms. Peter Condola?

She's out?

On a date?

Oh. Well, would you tell her that Theo
Huckable called and that I'm sorry and

that it was all Cockroach's idea?

Thanks. Bye.

Yes. Hi, I'm Vanessa Huxtable, and I'm
here to pick up Tyrone Baxter.

You sure about that?

I mean, I'm Tyrone Baxter, and I'm here
to pick up Vanessa Huxtable.

You're gonna be okay.

Yeah.

Hey, dude, I'm still Vanessa's brother.
Come on in and take off your coat.

Thanks. I appreciate it. Really
appreciate it.

Watch it! Don't be surprised.

Is somebody having a fight in there?

No, that's my dad and my granddad with
their friends playing cards. Come on in.

Now, if you really want to get in good
with my dad, you have to play pinnacle,

either that or chess.

I play chess. I love chess. And I can
learn to play pinnacle. Really, I can.

It's okay, relax.

I'm not the important one. That's my
dad.

Yeah. Now, he's in there, but there are
a couple of things I need to know about

you first.

What kind of music do you like?

All kinds, really.

My dad likes jazz.

I like jazz. Really, I do.

Now, me, I'm into rhythm and blues, rock
and rap.

I like all that. I'm into all of it.

Vanessa likes funk. Funk is my life,
really. I mean... Tyrone,

I think it's time you should be my dad.

Really? I mean, what should I say? How
should I be?

Just be yourself.

How's that?

Tyrone, don't run.

Dad treats all the guys that come in
here the same.

Like dirt.

Come on, let's clean up my dad.

Good luck.

Uh, wait a second, Theo.

What? Are you sure your father really
wants to meet me?

Tyrone is nothing to be nervous about.
You're gonna go in there, dad's gonna

say, nice to meet you, and you're gonna
say the same here.

Come on.

Excuse me. Hey. Dad?

This young man is here to take Vanessa
to the skating party. His name is Tyrone

Baxter. Tyrone, this is my dad, Dr.
Huxtable.

Tyrone, how are you?

Same here, Dr. Huxtable.

Same here.

Me too, I really meant that.

But don't the rest of us get an
introduction?

This is my father. How do you do, sir?

This is his closest friend, Homer
Dobson. How do you do, sir?

And this is Sergeant Major Stokes. How
do you do, sir? He's a professional card

shark.

Do you want something cold to drink?

Sure. You got 50 cents?

How about a soda?

Yeah, I like soda.

Make sure you get the 50 cents.

Tyrone, so you're going to take out my
Vanessa, huh?

Vanessa is very, very special to me.

You understand?

And I've always thought a young boy come
and take out my daughter, he would have

to be special after all.

If he ever did anything to hurt her,
take this.

Have a good time.

Is that all you want to ask me, Dr.
Huckable?

I mean, is there anything else?

What more did you want me to say?

Oh, nothing. I'm fine.

Good.

Now get out.

Nice meeting all of you. Okay. Goodbye.

Dad, you were pretty easy on them. Were
you okay?

I don't have time to take prisoners. I'm
in the middle of a war right now.

Do me a favor.

Give him a soda and tell him
everything's all right. Okay.

Tell him my name is...

Well, if you got it all wrong, this is
not a war. A war is where you fight

battles and win a Purple Heart.

We know a few men who won Purple Hearts,
don't we, Homer?

Mm -hmm.

How many men do we know who won Purple
Hearts?

Oh, I'd say about three.

I only knew one myself, and he was a
little bitty fellow.

I'm serious, Tyrone. Dad really liked
you.

You really think so?

He talked to you, didn't he? You're in.

Yeah, but I'm still nervous.

I mean, this is my first date.

Hi, are you Tyrone?

Yes. I'm Rudy, and Vanessa looks good.

When is she coming down?

Soon. So, Tyrone, tell me about
yourself.

Um, I'm in the eighth grade.

That's nice.

Are you going to kiss Vanessa tonight?

Do I have to answer this?

I think you should.

Well, it's up to her.

Smart man.

Hi, Tyrone.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

It's all right.

I told you she looked good.

You do, Vanessa. Really, you do.

Hi, I'm Denise. I'll be driving you to
the skating rink.

I'll get it.

Hello. Hi.

Hi. May I help you? I'm Aaron Stokes,
Sergeant Stokes' grandson.

I'm Vanessa Huxtable.

My grandpa forgot his glasses at my
house.

Oh, well, he's in the kitchen. I'll show
you. Come in. Thanks, Vanessa.

Uh, Tyrone, I'll be right back.

This way.

Oh, Tyrone, what grade are you in?

Eight. She's right. Um, what grade are
you in?

Oh, I'm a freshman in college.

College. Oh, I like college. I'm gonna
go. Really, I am.

That's nice.

Denise? Yeah, um, there's something I
have to give you when it's in my room.

Could you come with me now?

Vanessa, we're about to leave.

Yeah, but if I don't give it to you now,
I'll probably forget and you'll leave

for school without it.

What is it?

Tyrone and Denise and I will be right
back. Just come on. Sure.

Tyrone, there's one thing you need to
know about girls.

They always need a little extra time
before going on a date.

You must know a lot about dating.

Oh, yeah.

In fact, I would be on one right now,
but I chose to stay home and spend some

time with the family.

Vanessa, what did you need to give me?
Nothing. That's not why I brought you up

here.

Denise, I'm confused.

About what?

Aaron. Isn't he incredible?

Okay. Okay? Did you see his eyes?

The way he moved, the way he wore his
suspenders?

He's okay.

I would love to ask him to go skating
with us.

Vanessa, have you lost your mind?

you mean?

Oh, you can't do that.

You've already got a date. What are you
going to do, drop Tyrone?

No, I want him to go, too.

Oh, you have lost your mind. Vanessa,
please, try and concentrate on one guy

a time, okay?

But guys do this to girls all the time.

Look at Theo and Cockroach. They're
pigs.

You do have a point, but it's still not
fair to Tyrone.

Okay, okay.

I think the Lakers are going to go all
the way.

I like the Rockets. Me too. If you ask
me, they're going to take it. You're a

Rockets man? You better believe it. All
right.

Sorry for the delay, everybody.

Oh, Aaron.

You're still here.

Yeah, we were just talking about
basketball.

Vanessa, are you finally ready? Because
you've been keeping my man Tyrone

waiting a long time.

Oh, it's all right. The skating party
will still be going.

You guys are going skating?

Yeah. You want to join us?

Sounds like fun. I'll ask Brenda.

Are you crazy?

What's the matter?

You're letting another guy come with you
on your date? So I like Aaron. Who

cares? Don't you see what's happening
here? This guy may end up going for

Vanessa. You have to tell him he can't
go.

No, I don't want to do that.

Why not?

I'm already nervous about going on a
date with Vanessa.

If Aaron's there, he'll take off the
pressure.

Yeah. Well, there won't be any pressure
when you're skating alone, pal.

My granddad said it's okay. Oh, great.
Let's go.

You know, Aaron, I'm really glad you're
going. Me too.

Me too.

I can't believe Vanessa has two dates.

Yeah, and she didn't even have to use
the cockroach deadline delivery method.

During the war, there's one particular
night I remember. I was in a foxhole,

the bombing and the shooting had
stopped.

I looked up at the sky and I saw
hundreds and hundreds of stars dancing

treetops. And I thought, when man stops
fighting, he can see God's work.

I never saw any stars.

Stars? Is that another word for
diamonds?

No, stars.

Stars, stars.

I'm serious.

I was in a tank.

Well, we both were.

761st tank battalion. That's right. It
was in those tanks that we saw our

greatest and our most humiliating
moment. You remember that?

What happened?

Well, we must have been the only platoon
to have captured the enemy.

And the enemy made us feel like they
were doing us a favor. What are you

about? Well, we had surrounded this
platoon of Nazis with our tanks.

After a while, they came out of the
woods.

Waving the white flag, their hands held
up in the air.

Our commander, Captain Charlie Gates,
told us to stay inside our tanks and

direct them back toward the infantry.

But you see, I'm from Chicago.

I know. I started thinking, now look, I
helped capture these guys.

There's probably a photographer out
there. I can get my picture in the stars

strength. But wait a minute now.

Wait a minute. Some of the other guys
must have thought the same thing

oh, well, a bunch of us sort of popped.
Just to take a look. Okay.

When those Nazis saw that they had been
captured by an all -black American tank

platoon... Uh -oh.

Looks on their face seemed to get... No,
no. Not you guys.

No, not anybody but you guys. No. I
can't go back to my hometown and tell

that I surrendered to you guys.

You know, they turned around and started
walking back toward the woods. No, they

didn't. Captain Gates gave us orders to
fire a few rounds over their heads. I

guess that's what made them decide it
wasn't so bad being captured by us.

So they did come back.

Well, they had to, didn't they?

Let me tell you, when I was in the Navy,
we were on maneuvers. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. What was this?

1958. See, we were on maneuvers. I don't
think there was a war on in 1958.

But you don't have to have a war for
things to be dangerous. Hold it, then.

Where were these maneuvers?

We were in Bermuda.

Russell, would you play a card, please?

No, wait a minute. We were... That's the
wrong card. Everything doesn't have to

be...

Son,

you said you were only taking up five.
You've been here 20 minutes.

I don't want to play anymore.

Why not?

I listen to your war stories. You won't
listen to my Navy story.

But we want to play cards.

I don't want to play cards.

You guys listen to my story.

If we listen to your story, will you
come back and finish the card game?

Okay. Well, this had better be good.

We're on maneuver, see? And this is
serious maneuvers. Hi!

How did it go?

Great. I didn't fall once.

It's kind of hard to fall when you've
got a boy on both arms.

Where's my grandson?

Oh, I dropped both the boys off at home.

Times have changed. In my day, a girl
only went on a date with one boy at a

time. My day, too.

Well, you know, it wasn't really a date.
It was more of a get -together. Oh,

yeah. They're getting together again
next week. You don't say.

Yeah. We all had a great time, so we're
going bowling next Friday.

I better go up and find out what I'm
going to wear for that.

Denise, will you help me? Okay, but I'm
only picking out one outfit for you.

Okay, and that's the outfit I'll wear.
Good. If I like it.

Good night. Good night.

Russell,

you have lovely granddaughters. Thank
you.

Well, who am I?

You, sir, are a bad card player.

Come on, let's get back to the game.
Yeah, all right. No, no, no, no. Sit

I haven't finished my story.

I thought you were finished.

I'm not finished.

Now, I was in the Navy.

We're maneuvers, serious maneuvers. Off
the coast of Bermuda. Yes, the coast of

Bermuda. Now, I'm lying in my bunk and I
hear the sound of General

Quarters. Now, there's a fire in
compartment 1021.

Well, that can be dangerous, a fire
aboard your vessel. Yeah, but this was

real fire. This was a fire drill. Yeah,
the fire drill out.

It wasn't real?

No, it wasn't real, but it's still
dangerous because it's in this

Gentlemen, why don't we take that walk
down by the way? And see, I had to get

up. Now, the compartment is here and
over here. This is where I am. I'm in

my bunk. Now.

By the time I got to the compartment,
come in.

The Cosby Show is taped before a studio
audience.