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1
00:00:05,221 --> 00:00:07,380
[intro music]
2
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:12,061
[imitates train] Tickets this way
for the Chatsworth Express!
3
00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:16,341
Come and watch pikeys
making a mess of the lives
4
00:00:16,421 --> 00:00:19,541
they were given by him upstairs.
5
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:23,021
And kids they're convinced
aren't actually theirs.
6
00:00:23,101 --> 00:00:24,061
[shouts] Stay away!
7
00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:30,741
What sounds on earth could ever replace
kids needing money or wives in your face?
8
00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:33,900
Cos this, people reckon, and me included,
9
00:00:33,981 --> 00:00:38,301
is why pubs and drugs
were kindly invented,
10
00:00:38,381 --> 00:00:42,021
to calm us all down
and stop us going mental.
11
00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:46,501
These are Chatsworth Estate's
basic essentials.
12
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:50,821
We are worth every penny
for grinding your axes.
13
00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:55,501
You shit on our heads,
but you pay the taxes.
14
00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:58,501
[all laughing]
15
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,501
Imagine a Britain
without Chatsworth buccaneers
16
00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:04,381
who'd come on your face
for the price of a beer.
17
00:01:04,461 --> 00:01:07,821
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
18
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:12,101
Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!
19
00:01:12,181 --> 00:01:13,861
[laughing]
20
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,381
Scatter!
21
00:01:15,461 --> 00:01:16,741
Party!
22
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:22,581
[music fades out]
23
00:01:26,621 --> 00:01:29,381
[Liam]
Some old fella was found dead in his bed.
24
00:01:29,461 --> 00:01:30,661
Nothing unusual in that,
25
00:01:30,741 --> 00:01:34,181
apart from the fact he'd snuffed it
at least six months previous.
26
00:01:36,181 --> 00:01:37,780
Nothing unusual in that,
27
00:01:37,860 --> 00:01:40,140
apart from the fact that he lived
in a busy street
28
00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:43,381
that prides itself on Neighbourhood Watch
and community spirit.
29
00:01:45,581 --> 00:01:49,901
But somewhere amongst all that bonhomie,
a human being had died,
30
00:01:49,981 --> 00:01:51,941
and no one had even noticed,
31
00:01:52,021 --> 00:01:55,821
because they were all too busy,
too selfish to clock it.
32
00:01:55,901 --> 00:01:57,060
[Jamie] All right, babes.
33
00:01:57,140 --> 00:02:00,860
[Liam] What we need is for someone
to shake us out of this sleep we're in,
34
00:02:00,940 --> 00:02:03,580
to remind us that we're all cogs
in a big machine,
35
00:02:03,661 --> 00:02:07,860
and if we don't start looking
after each other, then we're doomed!
36
00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:13,021
We need someone to show us the way,
set an example.
37
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:15,100
We need a hero!
38
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:21,661
[exhales] But where are you going
to find one of them around here, eh?
39
00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:22,741
Hey.
40
00:02:22,820 --> 00:02:25,861
The one thing I do not need
when I'm in this much of a hurry
41
00:02:25,941 --> 00:02:27,941
is one of your floozies taking space
in the bathroom.
42
00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:30,100
Happy 50th birthday,
you miserable bastard.
43
00:02:30,181 --> 00:02:32,421
[Carl]
And I didn't pull a floozy last night.
44
00:02:32,501 --> 00:02:34,501
[Carl] I'm very happy with Maxine.
45
00:02:36,260 --> 00:02:38,861
Fifteen minutes she was in there,
with her ablutions.
46
00:02:38,941 --> 00:02:40,301
I'm outside, bladder's bursting.
47
00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:42,301
-Had to take a piss in the sink.
-[Carl spits]
48
00:02:42,380 --> 00:02:44,861
What you doing bring her here?
What if Maxine finds out?
49
00:02:44,941 --> 00:02:46,901
-[door opens]
-Finds out what, Frank?
50
00:02:48,021 --> 00:02:50,581
My dad was just asking me
how I think you'd react
51
00:02:50,661 --> 00:02:52,700
if you caught me with this lady here.
52
00:02:52,781 --> 00:02:54,100
I'd rip his balls off.
53
00:02:54,181 --> 00:02:56,021
I wouldn't blame you.
54
00:02:56,100 --> 00:02:57,501
[Floozy] Morning, Frank.
55
00:02:57,581 --> 00:03:00,301
-Remember me?
-Yeah, we met in The Jockey last night.
56
00:03:01,341 --> 00:03:05,421
Yeah, we had a few drinks,
got chatting and...
57
00:03:05,501 --> 00:03:09,260
before long, we found ourselves back here,
one thing led to another and...
58
00:03:09,341 --> 00:03:12,260
Here she is. We are! Isn't that right?
59
00:03:12,341 --> 00:03:13,501
[Frank] Enjoy it?
60
00:03:13,581 --> 00:03:15,301
Ouch! [grunts]
61
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[Frank] Oh! Fucking hell! [grunts]
62
00:03:19,781 --> 00:03:21,420
Happy birthday, mate!
63
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:25,700
[laughing, singing with joy]
64
00:03:25,781 --> 00:03:29,181
None of this would've happened
if I'd got my alarm clock I asked for!
65
00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:32,341
Where've you been,
you selfish little shit?
66
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:35,341
Out earning a living,
so don't wag a finger at me,
67
00:03:35,420 --> 00:03:37,820
you job-shy, sponging waste of space!
68
00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:42,861
Don't talk to me like that.
I've got a job, and all. I contribute!
69
00:03:44,061 --> 00:03:46,581
-I've got a job.
-Wouldn't really call it a job.
70
00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:49,461
Oh, well what would you call it then,
smartarse?
71
00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:51,140
Community service?
72
00:03:51,221 --> 00:03:52,820
["My Boy Lollipop" by Millie Small]
73
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♪ My boy lollipop ♪
74
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Come on.
75
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:58,140
♪ You make my heart go giddy-up ♪
76
00:03:58,221 --> 00:03:59,581
[horn toots]
77
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♪ You are as sweet as candy ♪
78
00:04:03,420 --> 00:04:06,181
♪ You're my sugar dandy... ♪
79
00:04:07,461 --> 00:04:10,140
Nice to see you paying your debt
to society, Gallagher.
80
00:04:10,221 --> 00:04:11,061
[pop]
81
00:04:11,140 --> 00:04:14,700
[both laughing loudly]
82
00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,101
Not long now.
83
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,821
Half of me can't wait. [pants]
84
00:04:24,901 --> 00:04:27,541
The other half don't want it
to happen at all.
85
00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:29,740
They say you forget the pain, though.
86
00:04:29,821 --> 00:04:31,500
How could you forget the sensation
87
00:04:31,581 --> 00:04:33,981
of having an eight-pound bundle
of flesh and bone
88
00:04:34,060 --> 00:04:36,021
trying to fight its way out your minge?
89
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:37,421
Seven I've had.
90
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:40,060
There's more scar tissue down there
than fanny now.
91
00:04:40,141 --> 00:04:44,060
I remember Paddy telling me he'd finished.
I didn't even know he'd started.
92
00:04:44,141 --> 00:04:46,781
[Mimi] Like chucking a chipolata up
the Mersey tunnel.
93
00:04:46,861 --> 00:04:48,620
[Mimi] All sense of grip gone.
94
00:04:48,701 --> 00:04:49,821
Worth it, though.
95
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:53,901
When you've got that little bundle
in your arms, it's all worth it.
96
00:04:53,981 --> 00:04:56,021
I just want it out now.
97
00:04:56,661 --> 00:04:59,620
I mean, two weeks overdue.
98
00:04:59,701 --> 00:05:02,581
I was three weeks over carrying our Jamie.
99
00:05:02,661 --> 00:05:04,421
A few tricks you might want to try.
100
00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:07,981
Me and Paddy were at it 24/7
to try and budge him.
101
00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:09,060
Tried that.
102
00:05:09,821 --> 00:05:10,740
[moaning]
103
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I love you.
104
00:05:12,541 --> 00:05:14,461
[groaning] God, I love you.
105
00:05:14,541 --> 00:05:16,101
[Karen moaning]
106
00:05:17,141 --> 00:05:19,541
-Curry?
-Heartburn.
107
00:05:20,381 --> 00:05:22,301
Get a few gins down your neck.
108
00:05:22,381 --> 00:05:23,740
Might that damage the baby?
109
00:05:23,821 --> 00:05:26,981
Nah, I did it with all of mine.
They turned out okay.
110
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,740
-[Micky] Where do you want these, Mam?
-[Mimi] Kitchen.
111
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[music loud in headphones]
112
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-[Frank] All this is for Liam, is it?
-His birthday party tonight as well.
113
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Ugh...
114
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I feel sorry for Liam having to share
a birthday with you.
115
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Better been born
with the number of the beast.
116
00:05:48,661 --> 00:05:50,781
-Oh, well--
-[door opens]
117
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Nin!
118
00:05:52,261 --> 00:05:53,541
All right, Nin!
119
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How's my second favourite great-grandson?
[chuckles]
120
00:05:57,541 --> 00:05:58,380
[laughing]
121
00:05:58,461 --> 00:05:59,500
[Carl] I'm cool.
122
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This is my girlfriend, Max.
123
00:06:01,221 --> 00:06:02,581
-[Carl] This is Nin.
-Fancy a brew?
124
00:06:02,661 --> 00:06:04,221
Oh, that would be lovely.
125
00:06:05,701 --> 00:06:07,461
Hey! Happy birthday, Liam!
126
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Nin!
127
00:06:09,060 --> 00:06:13,581
-[Nin] And happy birthday, Vernon.
-Oh, cheers, Nin!
128
00:06:13,661 --> 00:06:17,461
I would've been round sooner,
but Jonty went hypoglycaemic,
129
00:06:17,541 --> 00:06:21,701
so I've spent half the morning
force-feeding him Mars bars.
130
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:25,820
[exhales]
131
00:06:28,661 --> 00:06:29,940
[giggles] Sister...
132
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Oh! Thank Christ for that!
133
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,380
Well, I've come round
to offer my services.
134
00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:39,421
I heard Monica
had popped out for a loaf again.
135
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:41,820
[Frank]
Oh, I wonder where you heard that from.
136
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,301
[Nin] Thanks, love.
137
00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:46,820
Well, I love cooking, cleaning,
ironing's a doddle,
138
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babies need a mother, so do young boys.
139
00:06:50,221 --> 00:06:52,180
And with Debbie in the Army now--
140
00:06:52,261 --> 00:06:54,541
I don't think that's going to work, Nin.
141
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:56,940
It can't be easy, with Monica leaving.
142
00:06:57,021 --> 00:06:58,541
Well, we've all adapted--
143
00:06:58,620 --> 00:07:01,620
[Liam] Nin could come
a couple of nights a week, maybe.
144
00:07:01,701 --> 00:07:05,380
You could stay over.
Liam'd bunk in Stella's room.
145
00:07:05,461 --> 00:07:08,461
Yes, you could go out for a pint,
I could babysit.
146
00:07:08,541 --> 00:07:11,380
No. No, it's too much. Much too much.
147
00:07:11,461 --> 00:07:13,060
[Frank] No way.
148
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,620
Hell!
149
00:07:15,861 --> 00:07:19,060
All right. It was just a thought.
150
00:07:19,141 --> 00:07:20,740
[Nin] I've got to get off now.
151
00:07:20,820 --> 00:07:22,940
Jonty'll be needing a feed.
152
00:07:23,021 --> 00:07:25,060
Yeah. Hey, don't be a stranger!
153
00:07:25,141 --> 00:07:27,221
[Nin] No. I'll pop round when I can.
154
00:07:27,301 --> 00:07:28,820
[Nin] Bye, darling.
155
00:07:28,901 --> 00:07:31,541
-[Maxine] Nice to meet ya!
-[Carl] You're welcome whenever you want.
156
00:07:31,620 --> 00:07:34,620
-[Liam] Yeah, whenever.
-[Nin] Okay, bye-bye.
157
00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:37,740
[giggles]
158
00:07:38,781 --> 00:07:41,541
-You piece of shit!
-That was horrible. She's lonely!
159
00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:42,740
I'm lonely!
160
00:07:42,820 --> 00:07:47,141
-No, you're a sociopath, she's an OAP.
-[Carl] It's not always about you.
161
00:07:47,221 --> 00:07:49,581
-It's not-- Oh, Fu--
-[Carl] What about us?
162
00:07:49,661 --> 00:07:51,940
Nin wanted to help,
we could have done with it!
163
00:07:52,021 --> 00:07:55,581
You better have remembered Liam's present.
You promised him!
164
00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:58,021
Yeah, course I remembered!
165
00:07:58,101 --> 00:08:00,581
Not every day your youngest lad
reaches his teens.
166
00:08:00,661 --> 00:08:02,180
He's eleven.
167
00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:04,901
[grunts]
168
00:08:04,981 --> 00:08:07,101
Get off me fuckin' case!
169
00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:08,781
-Get out!
-[door slams]
170
00:08:08,861 --> 00:08:12,421
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
171
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:13,461
Fuck! Micky!
172
00:08:14,341 --> 00:08:16,981
Any chance you can use
your contacts in the underworld
173
00:08:17,060 --> 00:08:18,221
to get us one of them?
174
00:08:19,461 --> 00:08:20,861
Eight tonight, the latest?
175
00:08:37,980 --> 00:08:38,861
Cost ya.
176
00:08:39,741 --> 00:08:41,541
-Forty quid.
-Forty-five.
177
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,180
-Thirty-five.
-Deal.
178
00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:46,460
-Go on, kids.
-Liam told me about Nin.
179
00:08:46,541 --> 00:08:47,621
-Wait there.
-Nice one
180
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:50,501
Just what I need,
another Esther Rantzen! Wait!
181
00:08:50,581 --> 00:08:53,581
That shit you fed us about
how Nin was the one that saved you
182
00:08:53,661 --> 00:08:56,220
when your mum died,
and how you were living
183
00:08:56,301 --> 00:08:58,460
with your father, that was all bollocks.
184
00:08:58,541 --> 00:09:02,381
OK. So she moves in and it's all
cottage pies and starched shirts.
185
00:09:02,460 --> 00:09:04,141
[Frank] Within weeks
186
00:09:04,220 --> 00:09:07,381
we'll be sponging
her women's bits, and wiping her arse!
187
00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:09,381
I'm a single parent now,
188
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:11,220
got two kids under...
189
00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:12,181
Twelve.
190
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:13,901
Yeah. And at the age of fifty,
191
00:09:13,980 --> 00:09:17,421
I'd like a little bit of colour
in my otherwise monochrome life!
192
00:09:17,501 --> 00:09:20,581
Left the upbringing of his kids
to anyone that'd take 'em on,
193
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,061
I'm one of them!
194
00:09:22,141 --> 00:09:23,100
[Frank] Yeah, yeah.
195
00:09:23,181 --> 00:09:26,340
I made mistakes! Oh, I'm fallible!
196
00:09:26,421 --> 00:09:29,741
Let he who is
without sin cast the first stop--
197
00:09:29,821 --> 00:09:31,261
-Oh!
-[kid laughs]
198
00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:33,980
Not funny son, not fuckin...
199
00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:37,061
Okay, okay.
200
00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:41,340
Contrition you want,
and contrition you shall have!
201
00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:45,381
[heavenly music]
202
00:09:51,061 --> 00:09:52,220
[tense tone]
203
00:09:53,220 --> 00:09:54,581
No!
204
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,901
[car honks horn] [tires screeching]
205
00:09:56,980 --> 00:09:58,941
-Oh!
-[car driver] Dozy bastard!
206
00:09:59,021 --> 00:10:03,141
[woman breathing heavily]
I shouldn't wear these things!
207
00:10:03,220 --> 00:10:04,301
You saved my life!
208
00:10:04,381 --> 00:10:06,501
Just doing my duty, Mrs--
209
00:10:06,581 --> 00:10:08,661
Miss... Miss Croker.
210
00:10:08,741 --> 00:10:09,621
Libby Croker.
211
00:10:12,021 --> 00:10:12,980
Thank you.
212
00:10:17,301 --> 00:10:18,141
Hey!
213
00:10:23,061 --> 00:10:24,980
[music fades out]
214
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,100
[indistinct chatter]
215
00:10:35,100 --> 00:10:36,781
What you after, Lillian?
216
00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:39,340
Can't I wish a neighbour
all the best on his big one?
217
00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:41,501
Well, you could if I was your neighbour.
218
00:10:41,581 --> 00:10:43,581
You're getting nowhere near my big one.
219
00:10:43,661 --> 00:10:47,220
Your survival it's been
a combination of advanced medical science,
220
00:10:47,301 --> 00:10:49,021
and sheer bloody-mindedness.
221
00:10:49,741 --> 00:10:51,340
You can go when you've finished.
222
00:10:51,421 --> 00:10:52,501
Half a century! Eh?
223
00:10:52,581 --> 00:10:55,181
Ooh! Wish I'd had a bet on that.
Imagine the odds!
224
00:10:55,261 --> 00:10:56,181
Of what?
225
00:10:56,261 --> 00:10:58,100
You still being here.
226
00:10:58,181 --> 00:11:01,061
And when it is your turn
to meet your maker,
227
00:11:01,141 --> 00:11:03,581
it'll be sudden,
like the flicking of a switch.
228
00:11:04,701 --> 00:11:08,381
[all chanting] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
229
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,701
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
230
00:11:11,781 --> 00:11:14,581
♪ Happy birthday, dear... ♪
231
00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:18,061
What the fuck?
232
00:11:21,061 --> 00:11:22,621
[blowing]
233
00:11:46,701 --> 00:11:49,340
[Liam sarcastically] Happy birthday, Dad.
234
00:11:49,421 --> 00:11:51,061
I'm sorry.
235
00:11:51,141 --> 00:11:52,061
[sighs]
236
00:11:55,261 --> 00:11:58,460
If you're wondering why they all left,
I might be able to enlighten you.
237
00:11:58,541 --> 00:12:00,740
You're not worth hanging around for.
238
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:05,141
I had something good, something special
with each of these women.
239
00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:07,501
They haven't had something good
with you though.
240
00:12:07,581 --> 00:12:09,781
Cos the minute they woke up
to what you were,
241
00:12:09,860 --> 00:12:12,541
they were gone, and I don't blame them,
242
00:12:12,621 --> 00:12:15,941
cos the minute I can get out, I will.
243
00:12:16,021 --> 00:12:16,941
Well, why wait?
244
00:12:17,021 --> 00:12:18,381
[sighs]
245
00:12:28,541 --> 00:12:32,781
[Libby] Libby Croker... Miss Croker.
246
00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,340
[cheerful music]
247
00:12:44,980 --> 00:12:47,301
Could this get any better?
248
00:12:47,381 --> 00:12:49,701
I think it could.
249
00:12:53,541 --> 00:12:54,541
[unzipping]
250
00:12:57,421 --> 00:12:59,821
[Nin]
No need to apologise for your father.
251
00:12:59,901 --> 00:13:02,220
[Nin] He always was a selfish little shit.
252
00:13:02,301 --> 00:13:04,860
-[Nin] Just like his mother.
-Was she as bad?
253
00:13:04,941 --> 00:13:08,220
Yeah, but at least she was sober.
254
00:13:08,301 --> 00:13:10,860
-Well, some of the time.
-[chuckles]
255
00:13:10,941 --> 00:13:16,061
Now, you've had your birthday treat,
I want you and me to have a talk.
256
00:13:16,141 --> 00:13:20,661
If it's the birds and the bees thing,
it's about six weeks too late.
257
00:13:20,740 --> 00:13:22,941
You're full of promise, Liam.
258
00:13:23,021 --> 00:13:25,620
I want you to fulfil your potential.
259
00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:27,061
Go for it.
260
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:28,620
Give me a hand.
261
00:13:28,701 --> 00:13:31,421
[Nin] Someday you're going to be faced
with a situation
262
00:13:31,501 --> 00:13:35,261
where to get where you want,
you have to tread on someone's head.
263
00:13:35,340 --> 00:13:37,460
And when that situation arises--
264
00:13:37,541 --> 00:13:39,261
I know, do the right thing.
265
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:41,901
No, none of that touchy-feely bollocks!
266
00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:44,460
Go for the jugular, the kill.
267
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:47,581
-What kind of advice is that?
-[Nin] Good advice.
268
00:13:47,661 --> 00:13:49,181
Carry no passengers.
269
00:13:49,261 --> 00:13:52,301
-Bit rich, coming from you.
-Jonty?
270
00:13:52,381 --> 00:13:54,860
I hate the fucking sight of him.
271
00:13:54,941 --> 00:13:58,661
If I'd known he was going to cabbage
within six months of our marriage,
272
00:13:58,740 --> 00:14:00,860
I'd have steered well clear.
273
00:14:02,220 --> 00:14:03,661
Look at him...
274
00:14:03,740 --> 00:14:05,661
useless.
275
00:14:05,740 --> 00:14:11,541
[Nin] An endless drain on my time,
energy and resources.
276
00:14:11,620 --> 00:14:12,821
Oh, you don't mean that.
277
00:14:12,901 --> 00:14:15,701
[sobbing] I do.
278
00:14:15,781 --> 00:14:19,581
He'd be better off dead. Me and him both.
279
00:14:19,661 --> 00:14:21,141
[sobbing]
280
00:14:21,220 --> 00:14:24,181
[Nin coughing] Here.
281
00:14:24,941 --> 00:14:27,100
You finish up and get off home.
282
00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:30,381
[Jonty farts]
283
00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:31,460
[Nin] Oh, God!
284
00:14:31,541 --> 00:14:34,460
[Nin] His bag's burst again!
285
00:14:35,460 --> 00:14:39,460
I'll get the bucket, you open the windows.
286
00:14:39,541 --> 00:14:41,781
[electronic dance music]
287
00:14:42,821 --> 00:14:46,141
Weirdest place you've ever done it.
288
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,220
Llandudno.
289
00:14:47,301 --> 00:14:49,301
[both] Bog on a train!
290
00:14:49,381 --> 00:14:51,061
-[Kelly] Together?
-[laughing] No!
291
00:14:51,941 --> 00:14:53,980
Back of a police bike.
292
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,860
It were parked up. Spain.
293
00:14:55,941 --> 00:14:57,541
-What, was it a copper?
-Yeah.
294
00:14:57,620 --> 00:14:59,500
-Uniform, boots, tache?
Uh-huh.
295
00:14:59,581 --> 00:15:02,661
Lillian, weirdest place
you've ever done it?
296
00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:05,100
Up the bum. Brendan was a bugger for it.
297
00:15:05,181 --> 00:15:06,381
[all laughing]
298
00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:19,781
-Jamie!
-[Joe] He's at Frank's party
299
00:15:19,860 --> 00:15:20,941
with his ma and pa...
300
00:15:22,181 --> 00:15:23,061
Get out.
301
00:15:24,061 --> 00:15:26,220
[Joe] The day of judgment looms, eh?
302
00:15:28,301 --> 00:15:32,901
Pritchard Junior's gonna pop out,
and then you've got some explaining to do.
303
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:36,061
-[Joe] Well, I'll tell him if you want.
-Get out.
304
00:15:37,821 --> 00:15:39,261
Sorry, Jamie.
305
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:44,381
[Joe] Thing is, me and your missus,
we just couldn't help ourselves.
306
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:48,100
[Joe] Some sort of attraction going on,
and try as we might...
307
00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:51,381
We just can't fight it.
308
00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:53,261
-I love Jamie.
-But you want me.
309
00:15:54,541 --> 00:15:57,421
[tense music]
310
00:16:04,061 --> 00:16:05,220
[Joe] He's reliable...
311
00:16:06,581 --> 00:16:11,460
solid, trustworthy loyal, gentle...
312
00:16:11,541 --> 00:16:13,740
[Joe] He'll make a lovely dad.
313
00:16:13,821 --> 00:16:15,941
And he bores the fuckin' arse off ya!
314
00:16:16,021 --> 00:16:17,380
Get out!
315
00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:18,460
[in pain] Ah!
316
00:16:19,421 --> 00:16:21,941
Shit! [Karen grunting]
317
00:16:22,021 --> 00:16:23,460
Get an ambulance!
318
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:24,941
[Joe] Oh...
319
00:16:25,740 --> 00:16:26,661
Brilliant!
320
00:16:27,980 --> 00:16:31,340
Jamie's gonna love this one!
[laughs maliciously]
321
00:16:31,421 --> 00:16:33,941
-Big daddy's gonna miss it!
-Please!
322
00:16:34,021 --> 00:16:38,661
All these months of antenatal
and birth partner classes,
323
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:42,100
and he's necking it round the Gallaghers
when the big moment comes.
324
00:16:42,181 --> 00:16:43,701
Priceless, Karen!
325
00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:47,701
[Karen grunts in pain] Ah!
326
00:16:47,781 --> 00:16:49,261
[Karen sobbing]
327
00:16:50,061 --> 00:16:51,541
[groaning]
328
00:16:52,181 --> 00:16:54,661
-[Karen grunts in pain]
-Right, come here.
329
00:16:55,901 --> 00:16:56,821
Fuck off!
330
00:16:56,901 --> 00:17:01,460
[Karen breathing heavily]
I don't want you anywhere near us!
331
00:17:01,541 --> 00:17:03,380
[sobbing]
332
00:17:03,460 --> 00:17:05,781
[Karen moaning]
333
00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:08,940
-Your call.
-[Karen sobbing]
334
00:17:09,021 --> 00:17:10,380
Joe!
335
00:17:10,461 --> 00:17:12,781
[Karen weeping]
336
00:17:12,860 --> 00:17:15,981
[weeping] I don't...
337
00:17:16,061 --> 00:17:18,821
Being a dad was the best thing
that ever happened to me.
338
00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:22,541
He used to say marrying me
was the best thing.
339
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:24,261
Yeah, he'd be lying.
340
00:17:24,340 --> 00:17:29,461
Just wait till the time comes, son.
This surge, this wall of emotion,
341
00:17:29,541 --> 00:17:32,101
like you've never experienced
before in your life.
342
00:17:32,180 --> 00:17:35,061
It'll happen the second
you clap eyes on them.
343
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,341
[Lillian] It was three months
before I could
344
00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:38,900
even squint at my Rodney.
345
00:17:38,981 --> 00:17:41,461
The midwife gasped when he came out.
346
00:17:41,541 --> 00:17:43,381
I'll just give Karen a call.
347
00:17:43,461 --> 00:17:45,381
Hey, make the most of it
while you can.
348
00:17:45,461 --> 00:17:47,501
[Patrick] It'll be your last party
for a few years.
349
00:17:47,581 --> 00:17:50,180
Karen'd call if she needed ya.
350
00:17:53,461 --> 00:17:54,701
No!
351
00:17:54,781 --> 00:17:56,221
[gunshots]
352
00:17:56,301 --> 00:17:58,221
[people cheering]
353
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:04,261
[yelling, laughing]
354
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:08,981
-Right, drop 'em!
-[yelling]
355
00:18:09,061 --> 00:18:11,301
[in despair]
Where the fuck is the ambulance?
356
00:18:11,381 --> 00:18:13,660
Come on, come on, try and stay calm.
357
00:18:13,741 --> 00:18:15,981
What did they tell you to do
in your classes?
358
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,261
[groaning]
359
00:18:17,341 --> 00:18:19,021
I'll go see where they are.
360
00:18:19,101 --> 00:18:20,381
[Karen] Don't leave me!
361
00:18:21,861 --> 00:18:24,900
[groaning] It's coming!
362
00:18:24,981 --> 00:18:29,341
[groaning] I'm scared, Joe. [crying]
363
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:31,141
I'm scared.
364
00:18:31,221 --> 00:18:35,861
I'm scared! [crying]
365
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:39,180
This is your last chance.
366
00:18:39,261 --> 00:18:41,700
This is your last chance!
367
00:18:41,781 --> 00:18:44,700
You say the word and we disappear.
You, me, and baby.
368
00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:48,581
We get away from this place,
get away from them.
369
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:51,700
You deserve better than this, Karen,
and you know it!
370
00:18:51,781 --> 00:18:53,021
[grunts in pain]
371
00:18:54,021 --> 00:18:56,900
[groans]
372
00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:02,221
Jamie! [screams]
373
00:19:02,301 --> 00:19:05,781
[Karen crying in pain]
374
00:19:05,861 --> 00:19:09,861
-[arguing in distance]
-[indistinct chatter]
375
00:19:12,221 --> 00:19:13,981
-What the fuck?
-[Karen panting]
376
00:19:17,621 --> 00:19:23,381
-[baby babbling softly]
-[mellow music]
377
00:19:25,180 --> 00:19:26,141
Meet your son.
378
00:19:41,541 --> 00:19:43,021
[baby babbling]
379
00:19:45,061 --> 00:19:46,101
Joe.
380
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,021
Thank you.
381
00:19:52,981 --> 00:19:54,821
Oh, my God, he's beautiful.
382
00:19:55,700 --> 00:19:58,900
[baby crying]
383
00:20:12,021 --> 00:20:13,221
Where's Stella?
384
00:20:13,301 --> 00:20:16,341
I'm not her father.
I'm the 11-year-old kid, remember?
385
00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:19,021
-When did you last have her?
Kelly's got her.
386
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,021
Eh?
387
00:20:25,141 --> 00:20:28,940
-Happy belated birthday!
-There's mud on the wheels.
388
00:20:29,621 --> 00:20:32,420
Yeah, I had to ride it.
Delivery van broke down.
389
00:20:33,061 --> 00:20:36,700
Fuck. All right, it's knock-off,
but if you scratch off the serial number,
390
00:20:36,781 --> 00:20:39,621
and give it a re-spray,
it'll be as good as new.
391
00:20:39,700 --> 00:20:41,180
How can I afford a new one?
392
00:20:41,261 --> 00:20:43,301
Do what every other parent here does.
393
00:20:43,381 --> 00:20:46,301
Catalogue, borrow,
could even try getting a job.
394
00:20:46,381 --> 00:20:47,900
-I've got a--
-It's community--
395
00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:50,420
fuckin' service, yeah.
Do you want this or what?
396
00:20:50,501 --> 00:20:54,101
-Yeah.
-Yeah, well, "Thank you, Dad."
397
00:20:55,461 --> 00:20:58,781
-[Frank] What's in for breakfast?
-I've had mine.
398
00:21:18,621 --> 00:21:20,061
[Libby] Byron...
399
00:21:20,141 --> 00:21:22,461
Mad, bad, and dangerous to know.
400
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:28,141
Good to see you again. You all right?
401
00:21:28,221 --> 00:21:30,541
There aren't enough men like you
in the world.
402
00:21:32,420 --> 00:21:34,461
Your wife's a very lucky lady.
403
00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:35,940
She's dead.
404
00:21:36,621 --> 00:21:39,061
Dead, dead impressed.
405
00:21:39,861 --> 00:21:41,741
Well, she was, when we were together.
406
00:21:41,821 --> 00:21:42,940
Torn asunder.
407
00:21:43,021 --> 00:21:44,501
Buggered off, yeah.
408
00:21:52,700 --> 00:21:54,261
Not seen you in here before.
409
00:21:54,341 --> 00:21:57,420
Well, I'm just helping me son
with his revision,
410
00:21:57,501 --> 00:21:59,981
getting a few research books, you know.
411
00:22:00,781 --> 00:22:03,261
I'd tell your son
to make the most of this place.
412
00:22:03,341 --> 00:22:06,460
Might not be here much longer
if local government get their way.
413
00:22:06,541 --> 00:22:07,581
Oh.
414
00:22:08,261 --> 00:22:11,741
Well, get most stuff online now,
though, eh?
415
00:22:11,821 --> 00:22:15,301
[Libby sighs]
That's no substitute for books.
416
00:22:16,660 --> 00:22:21,981
[Libby] Opening, inviting you to turn,
explore, experience...
417
00:22:22,061 --> 00:22:23,621
[Libby] Virginal.
418
00:22:23,700 --> 00:22:25,581
Never forget a good one, do you?
419
00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:29,301
The majority of the Internet's
used for porn.
420
00:22:29,381 --> 00:22:32,821
People would rather watch other people
than make love themselves,
421
00:22:32,900 --> 00:22:35,981
experience all that life has to offer
via a third party.
422
00:22:36,061 --> 00:22:38,741
Anything to stop them engaging.
423
00:22:40,061 --> 00:22:43,061
You're not one of them, are you?
424
00:22:43,940 --> 00:22:44,861
Frank.
425
00:22:48,381 --> 00:22:51,700
Are you a doer or a watcher, Francis?
426
00:22:51,781 --> 00:22:54,821
A doer, definitely. Always doing, me.
427
00:22:56,141 --> 00:23:00,141
Do you like to feel the paper, Frank?
428
00:23:00,221 --> 00:23:03,981
Are you a page turner or a mouse scroller?
429
00:23:04,940 --> 00:23:06,781
Let me show you. What you doing tonight?
430
00:23:06,861 --> 00:23:09,261
[nervous sigh] Tonight's an empty page.
431
00:23:09,341 --> 00:23:11,621
I've got a cracking quill. Plenty of ink.
432
00:23:11,700 --> 00:23:16,261
This lady doesn't surrender
her favours so easily. [nervous sigh]
433
00:23:17,460 --> 00:23:20,501
-Thrill of the chase, eh?
-[chuckling]
434
00:23:20,581 --> 00:23:23,381
You try to pass yourself off
as a man of integrity,
435
00:23:23,460 --> 00:23:25,741
but for all I know,
you might be a charlatan.
436
00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:30,821
-Oh, heaven forfend.
-[giggles] So, prove yourself.
437
00:23:36,981 --> 00:23:38,460
Frank.
438
00:23:45,061 --> 00:23:47,341
Down. Down.
439
00:23:49,180 --> 00:23:50,940
Thank you all so much.
440
00:23:51,021 --> 00:23:53,180
It's great, cheers.
441
00:23:53,261 --> 00:23:54,541
Where did you get it from?
442
00:23:59,621 --> 00:24:00,460
Here and there.
443
00:24:02,501 --> 00:24:04,420
We're wetting the baby's head tonight.
444
00:24:04,501 --> 00:24:07,021
-We'll see how we go, eh?
-I'll be there.
445
00:24:07,101 --> 00:24:08,660
Maybe you should get some rest.
446
00:24:08,741 --> 00:24:11,741
And maybe you should stop telling me
what I can and can't do.
447
00:24:11,821 --> 00:24:14,621
If I can't celebrate him
coming into the world, who can?
448
00:24:15,900 --> 00:24:17,180
[baby crying]
449
00:24:17,261 --> 00:24:19,541
I just came to drop a present off.
450
00:24:19,621 --> 00:24:21,381
Cheers.
451
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:24,301
[baby crying]
452
00:24:24,381 --> 00:24:28,341
There's a party later to celebrate
the arrival of the little fella.
453
00:24:28,420 --> 00:24:29,581
You'll be there.
454
00:24:31,621 --> 00:24:33,781
-I don't know, Paddy, uh--
-I do.
455
00:24:33,861 --> 00:24:36,741
[Paddy] You brought my grandson
into the world, safe and sound.
456
00:24:36,821 --> 00:24:39,341
Who knows what might've happened
if you hadn't been there.
457
00:24:42,101 --> 00:24:44,581
-Sure.
-Cheers, mate. I'll be there.
458
00:24:48,061 --> 00:24:51,420
Okay, everybody, and before our star turn,
459
00:24:51,501 --> 00:24:55,621
we can announce the winner
of the guess the weight competition.
460
00:24:57,861 --> 00:24:58,981
It's Micky Maguire.
461
00:24:59,061 --> 00:25:02,101
-Yes! In your face!
-[people clapping]
462
00:25:02,180 --> 00:25:05,460
[Mimi] Seven pound, four ounces.
463
00:25:05,541 --> 00:25:08,940
Well done. There's your fifty quid.
464
00:25:11,621 --> 00:25:13,741
[people clapping]
465
00:25:21,741 --> 00:25:23,541
[indistinct chatter]
466
00:25:28,220 --> 00:25:31,101
[soft mellow music]
467
00:26:05,581 --> 00:26:08,981
-That's exactly the reaction I was after.
-Don't know what you mean.
468
00:26:09,061 --> 00:26:11,261
You were out after me
in less than a minute.
469
00:26:12,021 --> 00:26:14,021
Don't flatter yourself.
470
00:26:19,541 --> 00:26:20,581
[Jamie] Karen?
471
00:26:22,781 --> 00:26:24,940
Come on, just about to do the toast.
472
00:26:32,180 --> 00:26:33,301
To our son.
473
00:26:33,381 --> 00:26:35,981
Connor Joseph Maguire.
474
00:26:36,061 --> 00:26:38,460
[all] Connor Joseph Maguire!
475
00:26:38,541 --> 00:26:40,460
Connor Joseph Maguire.
476
00:26:40,541 --> 00:26:44,061
["Donegal Express"
by Shane MacGowan & The Popes]
477
00:26:45,061 --> 00:26:46,940
[indistinct chattering, laughing]
478
00:26:57,940 --> 00:26:59,420
-[Liam] Nin rang.
-What the fuck?
479
00:26:59,501 --> 00:27:00,420
She wants to see you.
480
00:27:00,501 --> 00:27:02,381
I don't want to see her, old bitch.
481
00:27:02,460 --> 00:27:05,420
She asked me to bring ya,
and I'm bringing ya.
482
00:27:05,501 --> 00:27:07,660
All right. Liam, Liam, wait, wait!
483
00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:13,261
Look, I can't stand it over there.
The sight of Jonty makes me fucking heave,
484
00:27:13,341 --> 00:27:15,341
and there's this, like, this smell--
485
00:27:15,420 --> 00:27:17,460
She's giving me a lecture
on how to succeed in life,
486
00:27:17,541 --> 00:27:19,220
I've got to sit there listening to that.
487
00:27:19,301 --> 00:27:21,061
If I've got to suffer, so have you.
488
00:27:21,141 --> 00:27:24,341
-I've got a date, I'm on a promise.
-She can wait.
489
00:27:25,420 --> 00:27:26,541
[Frank] Fuck!
490
00:27:28,541 --> 00:27:31,021
I was hasty when I saw you last time,
491
00:27:31,101 --> 00:27:34,621
unfeeling, and for that, I apologise.
492
00:27:34,700 --> 00:27:40,700
I just... It was like-- [sighs]
Me whole life was crashing in around me.
493
00:27:40,781 --> 00:27:43,900
I'm not interested
in your sob stories, Vernon.
494
00:27:43,981 --> 00:27:46,861
Nothing you can say
I haven't heard before.
495
00:27:46,940 --> 00:27:49,061
No, but life's on the up now, Nin.
496
00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:50,621
Yeah!
497
00:27:50,700 --> 00:27:52,021
[laughing]
498
00:27:54,420 --> 00:27:56,301
I met someone.
499
00:27:56,381 --> 00:27:58,821
Someone special, you know, decent,
500
00:27:58,900 --> 00:28:02,061
and she makes me feel
like I want to change,
501
00:28:02,141 --> 00:28:03,940
be a better man, you know?
502
00:28:04,021 --> 00:28:05,861
Has he dropped any E's lately?
503
00:28:05,940 --> 00:28:08,781
Clean as a whistle. Got a date later.
504
00:28:08,861 --> 00:28:09,821
[giggles]
505
00:28:11,220 --> 00:28:13,460
Pass me my bag, will you, Liam?
506
00:28:15,021 --> 00:28:16,180
Ta.
507
00:28:16,261 --> 00:28:19,341
So, you think she's the one, eh?
508
00:28:19,420 --> 00:28:20,981
She's one of the ones.
509
00:28:21,061 --> 00:28:23,460
[Frank] I have never felt this way before.
510
00:28:23,541 --> 00:28:24,861
I feel younger.
511
00:28:25,781 --> 00:28:29,341
[Frank] You know, optimistic,
energised, positive.
512
00:28:29,420 --> 00:28:30,741
You know?
513
00:28:31,581 --> 00:28:34,741
Take her somewhere special. Go on.
514
00:28:38,460 --> 00:28:39,501
Cheers, Nin. I will.
515
00:28:39,581 --> 00:28:43,460
Liam, get me a glass of water, will you?
516
00:28:43,541 --> 00:28:47,061
And the tablets on my bedside table.
517
00:28:47,141 --> 00:28:48,861
Thank you so much for this, Nin.
518
00:28:48,940 --> 00:28:50,581
Think of the cash as payment.
519
00:28:51,180 --> 00:28:52,420
For what?
520
00:28:52,501 --> 00:28:53,781
For being my witness.
521
00:28:55,021 --> 00:28:56,341
[gunshot]
522
00:28:56,420 --> 00:28:59,101
Fucking hell! No! No!
523
00:29:01,541 --> 00:29:06,220
They're gonna ask who did it,
and you're gonna tell 'em it was me.
524
00:29:06,301 --> 00:29:07,341
You just...
525
00:29:08,420 --> 00:29:14,061
Fu... Fucking selfish... or what?
I'm gonna be late for Libby now.
526
00:29:16,660 --> 00:29:17,781
Is Liam okay?
527
00:29:18,741 --> 00:29:21,101
He's ten, for God's sake.
He shouldn't be here.
528
00:29:21,180 --> 00:29:23,501
He's fine. And he's eleven.
529
00:29:23,581 --> 00:29:26,541
-I need to see him, check he's okay--
-You're going nowhere.
530
00:29:27,581 --> 00:29:29,821
Look, I've been through a nightmare here.
531
00:29:29,900 --> 00:29:36,141
My son, my te... eleven-year-old son
has seen things no kid should see.
532
00:29:36,220 --> 00:29:39,420
You're expecting us to believe
that a frail old lady, in her 80s,
533
00:29:39,501 --> 00:29:40,660
killed her own husband?
534
00:29:41,301 --> 00:29:43,061
Look, Nin... [sighs]
535
00:29:43,980 --> 00:29:47,980
She was under an incredible
amount of strain, looking after a man
536
00:29:48,061 --> 00:29:50,420
who didn't know his arse from his elbow,
537
00:29:50,501 --> 00:29:53,741
and couldn't wipe either
if he wanted to, right?
538
00:29:53,821 --> 00:29:59,420
She tried, with no back-up
from anti-social services,
539
00:29:59,501 --> 00:30:05,220
no meals on wheels, no help at all, and...
540
00:30:07,420 --> 00:30:09,821
You're not thinking Liam did it?
541
00:30:09,900 --> 00:30:11,900
We're thinking you did.
542
00:30:17,621 --> 00:30:19,501
So where did Joseph come from?
543
00:30:22,381 --> 00:30:23,261
Granddad.
544
00:30:24,341 --> 00:30:25,261
Granddad Joey.
545
00:30:25,861 --> 00:30:27,301
Treated me like a princess.
546
00:30:27,381 --> 00:30:29,741
When Mam and Dad
were at each other's throats...
547
00:30:31,180 --> 00:30:33,581
I dunno, it must have been a telepathy.
548
00:30:33,660 --> 00:30:36,220
He'd come round,
and he'd take me away from it all.
549
00:30:37,261 --> 00:30:39,541
He made me feel special.
550
00:30:40,781 --> 00:30:43,861
I just thought that'd be nice.
551
00:30:58,581 --> 00:31:00,700
If I ever find out you're lying, Karen...
552
00:31:04,940 --> 00:31:05,980
[door closes]
553
00:31:14,741 --> 00:31:15,980
About fuckin' time!
554
00:31:16,061 --> 00:31:19,700
They had to wait for forensic.
Had to check the gun for prints.
555
00:31:19,781 --> 00:31:23,700
They're building the gallows in there,
giving pissin' Pierrepoint a ring!
556
00:31:23,781 --> 00:31:24,621
[Frank] And you!
557
00:31:24,700 --> 00:31:27,781
Why were you so slow in telling them
what happened?
558
00:31:27,861 --> 00:31:30,101
-[Ian] Hang on a minute!
-Ouch!
559
00:31:31,781 --> 00:31:32,660
[grunts]
560
00:31:37,700 --> 00:31:39,261
Bus fare?
561
00:31:52,581 --> 00:31:54,021
[slamming]
562
00:31:55,821 --> 00:31:57,381
[reciting] She walks in beauty
563
00:31:58,180 --> 00:32:02,021
Like the night of cloudless climes
564
00:32:02,101 --> 00:32:03,781
And starry skies
565
00:32:04,501 --> 00:32:07,541
[both] And all that's best of dark
566
00:32:07,621 --> 00:32:10,980
And bright meet in her aspect
567
00:32:11,061 --> 00:32:14,740
And her eyes... thus mellowed
568
00:32:14,821 --> 00:32:17,061
To that tender night
569
00:32:17,141 --> 00:32:21,341
Which heaven to gaudy day denies
570
00:32:25,061 --> 00:32:27,541
[chuckling]
571
00:32:27,621 --> 00:32:30,621
-Hardly a glass slipper.
-I'm hardly prince charming.
572
00:32:30,700 --> 00:32:31,900
[giggles]
573
00:32:31,980 --> 00:32:35,261
It doesn't bother you, does it,
that that I've got kids?
574
00:32:35,341 --> 00:32:37,541
I mean,
I can always trace their mum and...
575
00:32:38,301 --> 00:32:41,180
You're all give, give, give, just like me.
576
00:32:42,261 --> 00:32:44,021
Wouldn't mind a turn at taking.
577
00:32:44,101 --> 00:32:49,581
Hey, how about we learn together?
578
00:32:49,660 --> 00:32:53,420
I want passion, Frank.
Excitement, adrenalin.
579
00:32:53,501 --> 00:32:56,460
I want to wake up
not knowing what the day has to offer,
580
00:32:56,541 --> 00:32:59,740
and if you can't give me that,
then you're not the man for me.
581
00:32:59,821 --> 00:33:01,781
I am that man.
582
00:33:01,861 --> 00:33:03,700
Talk's cheap.
583
00:33:04,621 --> 00:33:08,460
How about we dance naked
till the sun comes up?
584
00:33:08,541 --> 00:33:09,781
I'm due at work at eight,
585
00:33:09,861 --> 00:33:11,900
and there's the protest
straight after tea.
586
00:33:11,980 --> 00:33:15,021
No... Oh, the library protest, yeah.
587
00:33:15,101 --> 00:33:17,700
I will not be ignored, Frank.
Not this time.
588
00:33:17,781 --> 00:33:21,101
Let's make the bastards sit up
and take notice.
589
00:33:21,180 --> 00:33:24,740
Let's not wave our banners
but set the place alight.
590
00:33:25,660 --> 00:33:29,381
Ask for them to leave our library alone?
No, we tell them!
591
00:33:29,460 --> 00:33:31,501
We dictate the conditions.
592
00:33:31,581 --> 00:33:35,581
This is our moment
to shape history, Libby.
593
00:33:35,660 --> 00:33:38,021
-You with me?
-I want you.
594
00:33:38,101 --> 00:33:39,220
Now.
595
00:33:41,061 --> 00:33:43,180
Toilet. Two minutes.
596
00:33:52,940 --> 00:33:56,501
You want adrenalin, excitement?
597
00:33:58,900 --> 00:34:00,381
Leg it.
598
00:34:01,021 --> 00:34:02,940
[hip drum music]
599
00:34:07,420 --> 00:34:11,141
-[Frank] No one in? Husband?
-[Libby] Not married. [moans]
600
00:34:11,220 --> 00:34:13,581
-[Frank] Kids?
-[Libby] No.
601
00:34:14,901 --> 00:34:17,501
Is that biology or opportunity?
602
00:34:17,581 --> 00:34:20,101
Combination of the two.
603
00:34:20,180 --> 00:34:22,740
[Frank] What the fuck is this?
Fuckin' hell!
604
00:34:30,820 --> 00:34:34,700
I'm not your first, am I?
Cos I don't think I've got the time to--
605
00:34:34,780 --> 00:34:39,581
No, it's just that this particular book's
not had its spine bent in quite a while.
606
00:34:41,621 --> 00:34:44,260
"One shade the more, one ray the less.
607
00:34:44,340 --> 00:34:47,021
Had half impaired the nameless grace
608
00:34:47,101 --> 00:34:53,621
which waves with every raven tress,
or softly lightens o'er her face."
609
00:34:53,700 --> 00:34:54,780
[moaning] Oh!
610
00:34:56,501 --> 00:34:57,621
Look, just...
611
00:34:57,701 --> 00:35:00,701
I thought
you were a man of passion, Frank.
612
00:35:00,780 --> 00:35:02,701
Well, I've had my moments, yeah.
613
00:35:02,780 --> 00:35:04,141
So, surrender.
614
00:35:04,221 --> 00:35:06,381
Well, it's pretty hard
waving the white flag
615
00:35:06,461 --> 00:35:08,501
when your concentration's being tested.
616
00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:10,780
Oh!
617
00:35:10,860 --> 00:35:12,860
-"Where thoughts...
-Oh, yeah!
618
00:35:12,941 --> 00:35:15,820
...serenely sweet express how pure,
619
00:35:15,901 --> 00:35:19,581
-how dear their resting--"
-Oh, just... Hang on.
620
00:35:19,661 --> 00:35:23,820
Oh, fu...
I'm sorry, it's just not happening.
621
00:35:23,901 --> 00:35:29,661
It's hard for me to maintain, you know,
interest with you droning on Byronically.
622
00:35:29,741 --> 00:35:31,461
Please, Frank.
623
00:35:34,340 --> 00:35:35,581
Please.
624
00:35:42,461 --> 00:35:44,221
Oh, yes!
625
00:35:44,300 --> 00:35:45,941
Oh, let me have it!
626
00:35:46,021 --> 00:35:47,901
Let me grab your soul away!
627
00:35:47,981 --> 00:35:49,820
-Let me have it!
-Oh, for fuck's sake!
628
00:35:49,901 --> 00:35:54,541
[passionately] "You know it's me, Cathy!"
629
00:35:54,621 --> 00:35:57,221
[moaning and screaming]
630
00:35:58,300 --> 00:35:59,860
[romantic classical music ends]
631
00:36:01,820 --> 00:36:02,941
Oh, fuck!
632
00:36:12,101 --> 00:36:13,101
[screams loudly]
633
00:36:13,181 --> 00:36:15,061
[grunts loudly]
634
00:36:15,141 --> 00:36:18,181
[tiger roar]
635
00:36:21,101 --> 00:36:23,300
I thought she'd died.
636
00:36:23,381 --> 00:36:25,581
She's narcoleptic.
637
00:36:25,661 --> 00:36:28,061
Nod off at the drop of a hat.
638
00:36:28,141 --> 00:36:32,261
There are certain triggers,
excitement being one of them.
639
00:36:32,340 --> 00:36:33,701
But don't flatter yourself.
640
00:36:33,780 --> 00:36:36,701
She passes out on a regular basis
watching Britain's Got Talent.
641
00:36:36,780 --> 00:36:38,421
[Patty] Now get that drunk and go.
642
00:36:38,501 --> 00:36:41,820
-I wouldn't mind seeing how she is.
-[Patty] You won't be seeing her again.
643
00:36:41,901 --> 00:36:43,741
You're no good for her
and she's no good for you.
644
00:36:43,820 --> 00:36:45,661
-I like her.
-You don't know her.
645
00:36:45,741 --> 00:36:48,381
-I like what I know.
-She'd shag anything.
646
00:36:48,461 --> 00:36:51,300
You're not that special,
no matter what she told you.
647
00:36:51,380 --> 00:36:53,541
It smacks of sincerity to me.
648
00:36:53,621 --> 00:36:56,340
Did she tell you of her broken engagement?
649
00:36:56,421 --> 00:36:58,300
The half-cast lad from Liverpool,
650
00:36:58,380 --> 00:37:01,141
who married another woman
so he could inherit a fortune,
651
00:37:01,221 --> 00:37:02,581
broke our Libby's heart.
652
00:37:02,661 --> 00:37:06,340
Yeah, she told me on the way over here.
That's Scousers for ya.
653
00:37:06,421 --> 00:37:09,261
[Patty] It's the plot of
Wuthering Heights!
654
00:37:09,340 --> 00:37:13,021
Hasn't got a life of her own,
so she lives other people's.
655
00:37:13,101 --> 00:37:15,141
[Patty] Told me once she was up the duff.
656
00:37:15,221 --> 00:37:19,380
Taken advantage of by a local landowner
after a charity dance.
657
00:37:19,461 --> 00:37:21,581
I said, "You stop right there, lady."
658
00:37:22,780 --> 00:37:26,141
Tess Of The D'Urbervilles
had been on the telly the week before,
659
00:37:26,221 --> 00:37:27,820
and it had addled her brain.
660
00:37:28,780 --> 00:37:30,181
[spoon clinks]
661
00:37:30,261 --> 00:37:32,101
Thanks for the tea.
662
00:37:32,181 --> 00:37:34,701
Forget her. Move on. It'll end in tears.
663
00:37:34,780 --> 00:37:36,340
And what's that the plot of?
664
00:37:36,421 --> 00:37:39,741
-I want better for my daughter.
-You want better for yourself,
665
00:37:39,820 --> 00:37:42,261
cos you know if she got a life of her own,
666
00:37:42,340 --> 00:37:43,621
yours is as good as over.
667
00:37:43,701 --> 00:37:44,741
I'm her anchor.
668
00:37:44,820 --> 00:37:45,661
Millstone.
669
00:37:45,741 --> 00:37:47,101
She'd be lost without me.
670
00:37:47,181 --> 00:37:48,421
She'd thrive without you!
671
00:37:48,501 --> 00:37:50,021
I'm warning you!
672
00:37:51,981 --> 00:37:57,421
She's the first bit of light I have had
in my grey life for a very long time,
673
00:37:57,501 --> 00:38:03,581
and if you think I'm going to let you
cast your wizened, selfish, gnarled,
674
00:38:03,661 --> 00:38:07,300
bitter little shadow over this,
you are sadly mistaken.
675
00:38:07,380 --> 00:38:09,701
You don't scare me.
676
00:38:09,780 --> 00:38:12,181
Ditto. Now fuck off, Ironside.
677
00:38:12,261 --> 00:38:15,941
[screams in fright] [breathing heavily]
678
00:38:19,541 --> 00:38:23,860
Oh, how are you?
I haven't seen you for donkey's.
679
00:38:23,941 --> 00:38:26,380
I'm great, Nin.
It's you I'm worried about.
680
00:38:26,461 --> 00:38:30,300
Oh, me? Don't you worry about me.
681
00:38:30,380 --> 00:38:31,780
I know what I'm doing.
682
00:38:31,860 --> 00:38:34,021
[Liam] We wanted to make sure
you were okay.
683
00:38:34,101 --> 00:38:35,541
Fine.
684
00:38:35,621 --> 00:38:36,661
I'm fine.
685
00:38:37,421 --> 00:38:40,181
Oh, I know some people think
what I did was wrong,
686
00:38:40,261 --> 00:38:46,541
but... Jonty had no real quality of life,
which meant I didn't either.
687
00:38:46,621 --> 00:38:48,181
We had a word with your lawyer.
688
00:38:48,261 --> 00:38:51,941
He reckons you could be out in two years.
Extenuating circumstances.
689
00:38:52,021 --> 00:38:54,061
You can come and stay with us.
690
00:38:54,141 --> 00:38:55,741
I like it here.
691
00:38:56,380 --> 00:38:59,661
It's warm. My room-mate's very nice.
692
00:38:59,741 --> 00:39:02,061
And they do courses! Imagine!
693
00:39:02,141 --> 00:39:03,941
Nin, you don't have to stay.
694
00:39:04,021 --> 00:39:06,780
-With good behaviour--
-[Nin laughs] I'm a Gallagher.
695
00:39:06,860 --> 00:39:09,340
We've never been one for behaving.
696
00:39:10,380 --> 00:39:14,061
All I've got to do
is make sure I never get out.
697
00:39:14,741 --> 00:39:15,621
Never.
698
00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:18,501
[hip drum music]
699
00:39:18,581 --> 00:39:19,981
[clattering]
700
00:39:20,061 --> 00:39:21,901
Now that's your cue to get out.
701
00:39:21,981 --> 00:39:23,261
[alarm bell ringing]
702
00:39:24,300 --> 00:39:26,141
[indistinct arguing]
703
00:39:26,221 --> 00:39:27,461
[laughs]
704
00:39:52,021 --> 00:39:54,780
[Yvonne sighs] No credit.
705
00:39:56,061 --> 00:39:57,380
Explain.
706
00:39:57,461 --> 00:39:59,860
The only time I see you
with a smile on your face
707
00:39:59,941 --> 00:40:01,221
is when you're after something.
708
00:40:01,300 --> 00:40:03,941
And aren't we a proper
little ray of fuckin' sunshine?
709
00:40:04,021 --> 00:40:06,221
-What are you on?
-Nothing.
710
00:40:06,300 --> 00:40:07,901
-High on something.
-[Frank] Life.
711
00:40:07,981 --> 00:40:10,021
Love. Should try it.
712
00:40:10,101 --> 00:40:11,300
Seven seventy-five.
713
00:40:11,380 --> 00:40:13,780
You may not have
the empire of a Shirley Porter,
714
00:40:13,860 --> 00:40:15,901
the business acumen of a Lord Sainsbury,
715
00:40:15,981 --> 00:40:18,421
your establishment
has the aesthetic appeal
716
00:40:18,501 --> 00:40:21,261
of the Beirut branch of Netto, but...
717
00:40:22,421 --> 00:40:27,061
you still have the love
of a good man, agreed?
718
00:40:28,061 --> 00:40:28,901
Well. Yeah.
719
00:40:28,981 --> 00:40:31,981
What more do you need?
720
00:40:33,181 --> 00:40:34,340
[Frank] Thank you.
721
00:40:43,101 --> 00:40:45,581
Oh, you fucking cu...
722
00:40:45,661 --> 00:40:48,741
[moaning]
723
00:40:50,261 --> 00:40:51,421
[moaning]
724
00:41:00,780 --> 00:41:03,901
[indistinct TV chatter]
725
00:41:07,221 --> 00:41:08,820
Sorry about the bike.
726
00:41:09,421 --> 00:41:11,701
Put the feelers out for another one, eh?
727
00:41:11,780 --> 00:41:13,981
Does nothing ever trouble your conscience?
728
00:41:14,061 --> 00:41:16,141
Hey... listen, son,
729
00:41:16,221 --> 00:41:20,581
I negotiate my way
through life's moral maze with ease.
730
00:41:22,860 --> 00:41:24,621
So... Hey!
731
00:41:25,860 --> 00:41:27,261
For the demo.
732
00:41:27,340 --> 00:41:29,820
All this effort. Hope she's worth it.
733
00:41:29,901 --> 00:41:32,860
[Frank laughs]
734
00:41:33,860 --> 00:41:35,461
Yeah, yeah, she is.
735
00:41:36,221 --> 00:41:38,820
Makes little Frank feel like
he's seventeen again.
736
00:41:38,901 --> 00:41:40,141
[exhales]
737
00:41:40,221 --> 00:41:41,221
Hang on, hang on!
738
00:41:41,300 --> 00:41:44,141
Something you don't know
anything about yet, sunshine,
739
00:41:44,860 --> 00:41:47,621
is the union between a man and a woman.
740
00:41:47,701 --> 00:41:51,380
I've known about it for years,
the walls in this house are paper thin.
741
00:41:51,461 --> 00:41:53,780
Yeah, but you never experienced it.
742
00:41:53,860 --> 00:41:56,860
Came close.
When we shared that bunk in Pwhelli.
743
00:41:57,820 --> 00:41:59,501
You see, I've met someone who...
744
00:42:01,421 --> 00:42:08,421
who inspires, ignites,
lights a flame in my soul.
745
00:42:08,501 --> 00:42:10,461
And goes like a rabbit.
746
00:42:10,541 --> 00:42:13,221
Yeah, that too, yeah.
But, you know, this is different.
747
00:42:15,021 --> 00:42:17,300
You know, it's in its infancy,
748
00:42:18,261 --> 00:42:24,820
but I know that it's something
that I want to pursue,
749
00:42:26,380 --> 00:42:27,340
you know, nurture.
750
00:42:28,941 --> 00:42:30,501
[laughing]
751
00:42:32,461 --> 00:42:33,340
How do I look?
752
00:42:34,541 --> 00:42:35,501
Desperate.
753
00:42:39,941 --> 00:42:40,820
[bell ring]
754
00:42:40,901 --> 00:42:42,461
[brakes squealing] [screeching]
755
00:42:42,541 --> 00:42:43,860
What do you think?
756
00:42:43,941 --> 00:42:46,300
Thirty-five, like you said.
757
00:42:48,221 --> 00:42:49,780
Ouch!
758
00:42:52,300 --> 00:42:54,261
What do we want? Libraries!
759
00:42:54,340 --> 00:42:55,741
When do we want them? Now!
760
00:42:55,820 --> 00:42:59,421
What do we want? Libraries!
When do we want them? Now!
761
00:42:59,501 --> 00:43:02,101
More reading, less breeding!
762
00:43:02,181 --> 00:43:06,340
More reading, less breeding!
763
00:43:06,421 --> 00:43:08,061
The rover returns!
764
00:43:08,141 --> 00:43:11,661
You can't get rid of me that easily,
I know where you live.
765
00:43:11,741 --> 00:43:17,621
What do we want? Libraries!
When do we want them? Now!
766
00:43:17,701 --> 00:43:20,621
From the second I set eyes on you.
I knew you were the one.
767
00:43:20,701 --> 00:43:22,340
Do you believe in destiny, Frank?
768
00:43:22,421 --> 00:43:27,741
Well, I'm more of a random sequence
of events man, meself,
769
00:43:27,820 --> 00:43:29,461
though I can see the attraction
770
00:43:29,541 --> 00:43:34,501
of believing that certain happenings
are preordained, yeah.
771
00:43:35,701 --> 00:43:36,541
[glass shutters]
772
00:43:36,621 --> 00:43:38,541
[Libby] Fucking bastard!
773
00:43:38,621 --> 00:43:39,461
[man] Shit!
774
00:43:40,421 --> 00:43:43,021
Send for backup! Get the TAU now!
775
00:43:43,101 --> 00:43:44,501
[people screaming]
776
00:44:03,061 --> 00:44:04,661
-[alarm]
-Listen to me, Frank.
777
00:44:04,741 --> 00:44:07,061
This is it, our moment to shape history!
778
00:44:07,141 --> 00:44:08,820
It's our moment to do a runner.
779
00:44:08,900 --> 00:44:10,780
Take this time and shape it, Frank.
780
00:44:10,860 --> 00:44:14,661
Make a stand, make a mark,
do something that matters.
781
00:44:16,820 --> 00:44:17,780
Stay, Frank.
782
00:44:19,141 --> 00:44:20,621
I'll make it worth your while.
783
00:44:21,380 --> 00:44:22,380
[Libby screams] Oh!
784
00:44:25,061 --> 00:44:27,701
[glass breaking]
785
00:44:27,780 --> 00:44:33,141
[dramatic music]
786
00:44:37,541 --> 00:44:40,061
[sirens]
787
00:44:50,300 --> 00:44:52,741
-[Libby] No!
-[Frank] No!
788
00:44:59,261 --> 00:45:00,421
[Libby] Frank!
789
00:45:00,501 --> 00:45:01,661
[Frank] Libby!
790
00:45:01,741 --> 00:45:02,981
[Libby screaming] Frank!
791
00:45:04,221 --> 00:45:05,501
[Frank screaming] Libby!
792
00:45:11,621 --> 00:45:13,661
Fuck's sake, Dad.
793
00:45:13,741 --> 00:45:17,701
Apologising to coppers, assuring them
you'll keep out of trouble in the future?
794
00:45:17,780 --> 00:45:19,860
Well, I'm sorry for having a pulse,
795
00:45:19,941 --> 00:45:22,941
thinking there's a cause
worth fighting for,
796
00:45:23,021 --> 00:45:25,621
for not thinking about myself
but for the greater good.
797
00:45:25,701 --> 00:45:27,221
So did you get your end away?
798
00:45:29,380 --> 00:45:31,101
It was a bit public.
799
00:45:31,181 --> 00:45:32,021
Where is she?
800
00:45:34,661 --> 00:45:36,661
She won't get bail. She won't get out.
801
00:45:38,860 --> 00:45:40,780
At least not for a good few months.
802
00:45:46,300 --> 00:45:47,820
Is she worth waiting for?
803
00:45:58,981 --> 00:46:00,541
Come on.
804
00:46:00,621 --> 00:46:01,981
[Liam] On reflection,
805
00:46:02,061 --> 00:46:06,380
I'd say there's a certain amount
of selfishness necessary for survival.
806
00:46:06,461 --> 00:46:09,661
Like when you're flying,
and they say in the safety demo:
807
00:46:09,741 --> 00:46:13,061
"In the event of a decompression,
help children and others,
808
00:46:13,141 --> 00:46:16,021
only after you've put on
your own oxygen mask."
809
00:46:16,101 --> 00:46:17,741
You've got to look after yourself
810
00:46:17,820 --> 00:46:20,661
before you can even begin
to look after others.
811
00:46:20,741 --> 00:46:23,541
It's all about balance. That's the trick.
812
00:46:23,621 --> 00:46:26,541
Get that right, and you've cracked it.
813
00:46:26,621 --> 00:46:29,820
Once upon a time, there was a king.
814
00:46:29,900 --> 00:46:31,501
I want Manchester to know
815
00:46:31,581 --> 00:46:33,780
that Maguire and Sons
are back in business.
816
00:46:33,860 --> 00:46:38,061
This is Back Door Bertie,
our mutual fuck buddy.
817
00:46:38,141 --> 00:46:39,900
Start small. Work your way up.
818
00:46:39,981 --> 00:46:43,181
Heard the latest from your mother?
We've been dumped as godparents.
819
00:46:43,261 --> 00:46:45,061
I didn't do it to hurt Kelly, son.
820
00:46:45,141 --> 00:46:46,061
[sobbing]
821
00:46:46,141 --> 00:46:48,461
-[grunting]
-Who the fuck am I?
822
00:46:48,541 --> 00:46:50,101
I'm here about my dad. He's missing.
823
00:46:50,181 --> 00:46:51,541
[urinating]
824
00:46:51,621 --> 00:46:53,340
-[party hooter blows]
-[laughs]
825
00:46:53,421 --> 00:46:57,981
I'm a prostitute, Father.
I don't actually believe in God.
826
00:46:58,061 --> 00:46:59,101
You've got...
827
00:46:59,181 --> 00:47:00,061
[gunshot]
828
00:47:42,701 --> 00:47:45,941
[lambs baaing]
829
00:47:46,021 --> 00:47:48,701
Lamb stew, lamb hotpot, lamb curry.
830
00:47:48,780 --> 00:47:50,501
Don't you think
we should have a bit more variety?
831
00:47:50,581 --> 00:47:51,741
I'm trying to make sure
832
00:47:51,820 --> 00:47:54,300
that they have a bit of meat
and two veg inside them.
833
00:47:54,380 --> 00:47:57,181
[lambs baaing]
834
00:48:03,501 --> 00:48:04,621
[shotgun blast]
92205
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