subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Hayride.to.Hell.2022.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch Download

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian Download

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal) Download

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:55,830 --> 00:00:57,178 Yum yum. 2 00:00:57,180 --> 00:00:58,078 I love it. 3 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:00,270 Better than roadkill any day of the week. 4 00:01:02,370 --> 00:01:04,318 Are there any witches on there? 5 00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:06,628 We need a witch to burn. 6 00:01:06,630 --> 00:01:08,008 Do you have any witches? 7 00:01:08,010 --> 00:01:09,448 My sister's a witch. 8 00:01:09,450 --> 00:01:11,460 No, she's a witch. 9 00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:20,990 Ah! 10 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,050 Ah! 11 00:01:25,730 --> 00:01:26,388 Ah! 12 00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:29,420 Come have some. 13 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,030 Me and my friend want to share with you. 14 00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:33,528 We made it on the farm. 15 00:01:33,530 --> 00:01:34,670 It's corn whiskey. 16 00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:36,500 Goes straight to your soul. 17 00:01:56,863 --> 00:01:58,920 Happy hayride! 18 00:02:00,150 --> 00:02:01,125 What? 19 00:02:03,030 --> 00:02:04,470 That's not funny. 20 00:02:12,350 --> 00:02:14,270 Oops. Missed. 21 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,400 Would any of you like to be a target? 22 00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:18,738 I'm just kidding. 23 00:02:18,740 --> 00:02:20,270 It's not even loaded. 24 00:02:20,420 --> 00:02:21,560 Not cool man. 25 00:02:22,070 --> 00:02:24,080 You're missing one thing. 26 00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:26,780 Eye of nute, and your leg! 27 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:29,530 I lost my head! 28 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,910 I lost my head! 29 00:02:31,450 --> 00:02:33,040 Has anyone seen my head? 30 00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:57,718 Don't be unreasonable, Sam. 31 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,670 We're only doing what's in your best interest. 32 00:02:59,700 --> 00:03:01,828 The bank has to treat all the loans the same. 33 00:03:01,830 --> 00:03:04,050 No matter how long your family's been here. 34 00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:07,890 Oh, you mean the first the pioneers. 35 00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:13,108 My great great grandfather, Cornelius Cox, tilled the soil 36 00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,600 with his bare hands when this was nothing but wilderness. 37 00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:17,778 Oh, come on, now, you're being dramatic. 38 00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:19,968 We're only asking you to sell a little piece of land on the 39 00:03:19,970 --> 00:03:21,078 backside of your farm. 40 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,628 You can pay off your bank loan, and we can turn it into 41 00:03:23,630 --> 00:03:26,000 something that the whole community can use. 42 00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:30,588 Oh, well, how would you like it if I carved a few pounds off 43 00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:31,938 your backside? 44 00:03:31,940 --> 00:03:34,520 That lazy ass sits in a chair all day. 45 00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:37,640 I mean, what if I cut out your your liver, your kidneys? 46 00:03:37,730 --> 00:03:39,018 I mean, you wouldn't miss him, right? 47 00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:40,520 It's just a pound of flesh. 48 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:45,308 This farm has been in my family for generations, and I will not 49 00:03:45,310 --> 00:03:48,310 sell a single acre to you or anyone else. 50 00:03:48,700 --> 00:03:51,938 The bank will be forced to call in the loan if you can't make 51 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,138 any more payments. 52 00:03:53,140 --> 00:03:54,640 Well guess what? 53 00:03:54,730 --> 00:03:58,478 This year the hayride is going pretty good, so by the end of 54 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:00,728 the season, we should have more than enough money to pay off 55 00:04:00,730 --> 00:04:01,868 the damn bank loan. 56 00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:03,910 So we're just wasting our time. 57 00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:05,710 We're not done here. 58 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,068 Well, I am. 59 00:04:07,070 --> 00:04:09,858 I have people outside here who appreciate what I'm doing for 60 00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:10,850 this community. 61 00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:14,720 Close the door on your way out. 62 00:04:23,853 --> 00:04:25,100 Oh, no. I know what it says. 63 00:04:25,970 --> 00:04:28,100 Um, well, I got it now. 64 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:29,018 What? 65 00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:33,730 I don't need one now. I'm good at this. 66 00:04:35,950 --> 00:04:37,270 All right, all right. 67 00:04:38,770 --> 00:04:39,280 Hey. 68 00:04:40,270 --> 00:04:42,040 Hey, everybody. Howdy. 69 00:04:43,988 --> 00:04:45,610 Wait a minute. I got another one. 70 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,880 What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer? 71 00:04:50,740 --> 00:04:52,150 A father-in-law. 72 00:04:56,130 --> 00:05:00,420 Hey, I will cut out your spleen with an ice cream scoop! 73 00:05:02,070 --> 00:05:03,418 This is a little, 74 00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:04,830 This is a little dangerous up here. 75 00:05:04,860 --> 00:05:07,080 What do you call a single vampire? 76 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,340 - Sam. - A bachelor. 77 00:05:13,890 --> 00:05:15,268 Stupid fool. 78 00:05:15,270 --> 00:05:17,430 Sam doesn't realize how deep of a hole he's in. 79 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:18,498 Hole? 80 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,028 It's more like he dug his own grave. 81 00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:21,948 When he defaults on that loan, we're going to get the whole 82 00:05:21,950 --> 00:05:22,940 freaking farm. 83 00:05:23,060 --> 00:05:24,348 He's his own worst enemy. 84 00:05:24,350 --> 00:05:27,227 Well tell us, Sam, why can't warlocks impale me? 85 00:05:27,229 --> 00:05:29,780 Well, they have halloweeners and crystal balls. 86 00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:33,260 Hey, we got a million of them. 87 00:05:33,410 --> 00:05:35,028 We'll pay you to stop telling them. 88 00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:36,048 No, no, no, no. 89 00:05:36,050 --> 00:05:37,908 Spend your money to support the farm. 90 00:05:37,910 --> 00:05:40,068 Go over and buy some pumpkins. 91 00:05:40,070 --> 00:05:41,358 Candy apples. 92 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,068 My cousin's apple pie. 93 00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:46,488 And in fact, today we have a special on pirate corn. 94 00:05:46,490 --> 00:05:48,318 Pirate corn? How much is it selling for? 95 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:49,548 It's a buccaneer. 96 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:50,480 Hey! 97 00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:52,876 Thank you. I'm here til Tuesday. 98 00:05:52,878 --> 00:05:54,378 Don't forget to tip the help. 99 00:05:54,380 --> 00:05:55,520 Thank you so much. 100 00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:03,860 Hello. 101 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:05,750 It's me. 102 00:06:06,180 --> 00:06:07,650 Pumpkin Klaus. 103 00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:10,041 Hello. 104 00:06:10,043 --> 00:06:12,870 Alright! Pumpkin Klaus! 105 00:06:12,900 --> 00:06:14,848 How do we have any good boys and girls? 106 00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:16,228 Why they're all good. 107 00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:17,939 Well then let's hand these out. 108 00:06:17,941 --> 00:06:18,714 Alright. 109 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:19,590 Here we go. 110 00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:21,390 Yes. There's one for you. 111 00:06:21,510 --> 00:06:22,138 Here you go. 112 00:06:22,140 --> 00:06:22,920 Here's a little. 113 00:06:23,940 --> 00:06:24,728 One for you. 114 00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:25,800 Thank you so much. 115 00:06:25,980 --> 00:06:27,000 One for you. 116 00:06:27,030 --> 00:06:28,260 No wonder he's broke. 117 00:06:28,290 --> 00:06:28,918 Jesus. 118 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,580 He's just giving them away. 119 00:06:30,610 --> 00:06:32,980 Like I said, he's his own worst enemy. 120 00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,958 Oh, Sam, this is so great. 121 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,700 We look forward to this every year. 122 00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:42,160 Yeah, Sam, it's not Halloween until the hayride. 123 00:06:42,430 --> 00:06:44,228 Well, I appreciate you being here. 124 00:06:44,230 --> 00:06:46,658 And don't forget to get an apple pie before they sell out. 125 00:06:46,660 --> 00:06:47,320 All by two. 126 00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:48,310 You hear that, Hazel? 127 00:06:48,340 --> 00:06:51,010 Two apple pies for this lovely lady. 128 00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:52,780 Here you go. 129 00:06:53,140 --> 00:06:53,560 Thank you. 130 00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:55,258 You know, supporting local 131 00:06:55,260 --> 00:06:57,538 business is how farmers like me survive. 132 00:06:57,540 --> 00:06:58,830 So thank you for that. 133 00:06:58,860 --> 00:06:59,638 Of course. 134 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,410 I come to your vegetable stand year round. 135 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:03,930 I think that farm fresh tastes way better than supermarket. 136 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:04,678 All right, well. 137 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:06,118 I do appreciate that. 138 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,250 And here's your change. 139 00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:08,608 You know. 140 00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:10,918 Hazel, why don't you give these fine folks whatever they want 141 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,900 to drink on the house? 142 00:07:12,930 --> 00:07:15,118 Oh, Sam, you really don't have to do that. 143 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:15,660 We can pay. 144 00:07:15,690 --> 00:07:18,208 No, no, no, you guys have bought those two apple pies. 145 00:07:18,210 --> 00:07:18,888 That's great. 146 00:07:18,890 --> 00:07:20,358 So anyway, I got to go. 147 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:21,350 Thanks again. 148 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,120 So what'll it be? 149 00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:27,258 I'm sure going to miss this. 150 00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:28,158 Miss what? 151 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,048 Sugartown scared the whole thing. 152 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,728 I've been coming here since I was a kid. 153 00:07:31,730 --> 00:07:33,378 What? Nothing's going anywhere. 154 00:07:33,380 --> 00:07:35,658 I heard a rumor that the county's shutting it all down. 155 00:07:35,660 --> 00:07:38,182 No more hayride, no more Pumpkin Claus. 156 00:07:38,184 --> 00:07:39,292 Bullshit! 157 00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:41,478 Look, Farmer Sam is my uncle, okay? 158 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:43,810 I'd certainly know if anything like that was going to happen. 159 00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:45,910 Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. 160 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,138 I mean, our family needs this 161 00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:48,670 hayride to keep the farm afloat. 162 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,318 It's a little tough to be paying bills when tomatoes are 163 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:51,430 only two bucks a pound. 164 00:07:51,460 --> 00:07:53,170 That's a lot of freaking tomatoes. 165 00:07:53,620 --> 00:07:54,970 That's for damn sure. 166 00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,730 And fertilizer is 685 a ton. 167 00:07:58,210 --> 00:07:59,860 Oh, here, have some cider. 168 00:07:59,950 --> 00:08:00,809 Oh. Thank you. 169 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,610 Are you having a good time tonight? 170 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:05,004 - Yeah, of course. - Absolutely. 171 00:08:05,008 --> 00:08:06,690 Did you catch me and Lester, by the way? 172 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:07,198 You bet. 173 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:07,830 Yeah, yeah. 174 00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:08,730 Buccaneer. 175 00:08:13,740 --> 00:08:15,030 Uh oh. 176 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:16,680 Here comes trouble. 177 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:25,320 Well, if it isn't Sheriff Jubal and Deputy Dimwit. 178 00:08:25,350 --> 00:08:28,018 So have you guys caught the shithead kids who broke into my 179 00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:31,078 barn, or are you just going to let your son vandalize my 180 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,930 entire property before you make him your new deputy? 181 00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:35,220 Well, you're replacing me. 182 00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:40,498 No. Good ol Sam here fancies himself a comedian just because 183 00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:42,658 his family was first to settle in this area. 184 00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:44,790 He thinks he owns a whole goddamn place. 185 00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:48,058 But a little birdie told me that pretty soon you might not 186 00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,340 own shit. Bank problems. 187 00:08:50,550 --> 00:08:52,348 You ever heard of a sheriff sale? 188 00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:55,408 I have, and boy, are they fun. 189 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,930 You know, now is not the time, Jubal. 190 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,618 The commissioner has forced me to hire you and your deputy for 191 00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:05,548 traffic control at overtime wages, I might add. 192 00:09:05,550 --> 00:09:10,138 So why don't you two go control some traffic and leave me and 193 00:09:10,140 --> 00:09:12,358 the real public servants at peace. 194 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,718 Oh, and have yourself a nice hot cider. 195 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:18,800 Of course, you're going to have to pay for it yourself. 196 00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:20,780 Your cider tastes like ass. 197 00:09:23,690 --> 00:09:24,950 Well, you should know. 198 00:09:26,210 --> 00:09:27,828 Traffic control. 199 00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:29,750 Traffic control. 200 00:09:30,050 --> 00:09:31,728 Hey, what's this I hear about 201 00:09:31,730 --> 00:09:32,900 the county trying to shut you down? 202 00:09:32,930 --> 00:09:35,000 Nothing they haven't tried before. 203 00:09:35,030 --> 00:09:38,298 I heard there's a new developer in the county scooping up land 204 00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:40,100 everywhere so he can build even more houses. 205 00:09:40,670 --> 00:09:42,230 Over my dead body. 206 00:09:42,740 --> 00:09:43,348 Yeah. 207 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:47,060 God, it's like the perfect storm. 208 00:09:47,660 --> 00:09:48,980 Could it get any worse? 209 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:50,870 Relax, Uncle Sam, I got this. 210 00:09:50,872 --> 00:09:52,220 Here, take this. 211 00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:53,964 Okay. 212 00:09:56,660 --> 00:09:57,890 Dick and Karen! 213 00:09:58,820 --> 00:10:00,048 Welcome! 214 00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:05,090 Hello farmer Sam. Seems like you're having a great night. 215 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,050 Quite the rowdy crowd. 216 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:07,768 Oh, yes. 217 00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:10,408 And well within county guidelines, Karen. 218 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:11,908 And if you have any complaints, 219 00:10:11,910 --> 00:10:14,025 like take them up with the next committee meeting. 220 00:10:14,027 --> 00:10:16,588 Don't think I won't exercise my right. 221 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,170 I gotta take this. 222 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:20,970 Hello? What? 223 00:10:21,210 --> 00:10:23,190 Timmy's stuck in the well. 224 00:10:23,370 --> 00:10:24,480 I'll be right there. 225 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,910 I gotta go, got to go. 226 00:10:32,780 --> 00:10:34,610 You're a real lifesaver, Patty. 227 00:10:35,150 --> 00:10:37,070 I'm a paramedic, after all. 228 00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:39,620 Is Karen still out there foaming at the mouth? 229 00:10:39,650 --> 00:10:41,930 Yeah, she's still circling like a shark. 230 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,690 You got to go find a Timmy to toss in a well. 231 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:45,890 That was a good one. 232 00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:47,000 Gotcha. 233 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:49,640 There you are. 234 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,980 Those kids are in the family cemetery again. 235 00:10:51,993 --> 00:10:52,725 See? 236 00:10:54,950 --> 00:10:55,670 Oh, shit. 237 00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:58,878 Well, go tell the sheriff to do some policing for a change and 238 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,410 meet us over at the family plot. 239 00:11:04,460 --> 00:11:07,130 - Oh, yeah. - That's a wing. 240 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,150 Base hit. 241 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:15,530 - Alright Tyler. - Ready? 242 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:16,736 Yeah, yeah. We're ready. 243 00:11:16,738 --> 00:11:17,628 Bases loaded. 244 00:11:17,630 --> 00:11:18,506 Clean up. 245 00:11:22,820 --> 00:11:23,960 Home run. 246 00:11:33,710 --> 00:11:35,039 - Drink up. - Cheers. 247 00:11:35,420 --> 00:11:37,190 - Rush. - Rush! 248 00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:46,870 Oh, shit! 249 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,000 Farmer, Baba! 250 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:50,950 Let's go. 251 00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:53,350 Let's go. 252 00:12:05,007 --> 00:12:07,060 This is family property, you assholes! 253 00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:09,632 Shit I dropped a beer, man. 254 00:12:13,050 --> 00:12:13,483 Oh! 255 00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:16,980 You shot me! 256 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,440 Yeah, it was rock salt, you dumb ass! 257 00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:20,968 Next time you come back here. 258 00:12:20,970 --> 00:12:22,559 It's going to be some deer slugs! 259 00:12:23,706 --> 00:12:24,428 Get him. 260 00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:35,688 Jesus, Sam's gone crazy. 261 00:12:35,690 --> 00:12:36,770 Yeah. No shit. 262 00:12:37,130 --> 00:12:39,410 Just lay low while I talk him down. 263 00:12:40,850 --> 00:12:42,590 Now it's about goddamn time. 264 00:12:48,199 --> 00:12:48,989 Well, 265 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,170 that's one way of talking him down. 266 00:12:56,020 --> 00:12:56,968 Fuck! 267 00:12:59,021 --> 00:12:59,929 Dumbass. 268 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:06,040 Look at that. 269 00:13:11,710 --> 00:13:12,624 Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 270 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,900 Yeah! What! 271 00:13:25,380 --> 00:13:26,180 Ah! 272 00:13:26,910 --> 00:13:27,682 Ah! 273 00:13:31,890 --> 00:13:32,610 Turn it off! 274 00:13:33,300 --> 00:13:33,960 It is off! 275 00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,000 He's seizing on his own. 276 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:36,778 Shit! 277 00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:37,650 Get rid of the wire. 278 00:13:38,790 --> 00:13:39,390 Is he dying? 279 00:13:39,630 --> 00:13:41,826 Shut up and put the wires in the car. 280 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:45,010 Ah ah ah ah ah 281 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,160 ah ah ah. 282 00:13:48,489 --> 00:13:51,250 Patty, Chris, we got a medical emergency out here. 283 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:52,600 Chris, what is it? 284 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:54,922 It's Sam. He collapsed. 285 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,410 You better come quick. 286 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:08,338 Keep your mouth shut. 287 00:14:08,340 --> 00:14:09,810 Maybe I can save your ass. 288 00:14:21,300 --> 00:14:22,680 Jesus. What happened? 289 00:14:22,740 --> 00:14:23,940 Like he had a seizure. 290 00:14:23,970 --> 00:14:25,470 Is he diabetic or something? 291 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:26,640 No he isn't. 292 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,928 Hey, old Sam's firing his shotgun in the woods like a 293 00:14:30,930 --> 00:14:32,718 madman and suddenly just 294 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,390 dropped like he had a stroke or something. 295 00:14:41,450 --> 00:14:42,770 It's okay, it's okay. 296 00:14:48,860 --> 00:14:50,808 We got him stabilized with a shot of Ativan, but his 297 00:14:50,810 --> 00:14:51,650 heartbeat's irregular. 298 00:14:52,386 --> 00:14:53,990 It's like he had a stroke or something. 299 00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:57,518 Uh, he's firing the shotgun in the woods like a crazed lunatic 300 00:14:57,520 --> 00:15:00,428 and suddenly just dropped to the ground and started shaking. 301 00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:00,945 Right? 302 00:15:00,947 --> 00:15:02,084 Yeah, He pointed the shotgun at me. 303 00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:04,060 He fell down, shaking and. 304 00:15:34,050 --> 00:15:36,180 Ah! Good girl. 305 00:15:36,420 --> 00:15:37,650 Good girl. 306 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:39,450 Where's rebel girl? 307 00:15:40,279 --> 00:15:41,550 Where'd your sister run off to? 308 00:15:42,420 --> 00:15:43,350 I'll find her. 309 00:15:43,670 --> 00:15:46,280 She's probably out chasing rabbits again, man. 310 00:15:48,290 --> 00:15:48,918 I know, man. 311 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:52,308 I could see the worry on your face, but your uncle is a tough 312 00:15:52,310 --> 00:15:53,660 old bastard, man. 313 00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:55,730 He'll be all right before you know it. 314 00:15:57,980 --> 00:15:59,540 Hey, Patty, we've got an ODS. 315 00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:01,010 You want to take it or stay here? 316 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:02,538 Uh, no, you go ahead. 317 00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:03,408 We need the money. 318 00:16:03,410 --> 00:16:04,999 I'll have budge drive me to the hospital. 319 00:16:05,001 --> 00:16:06,476 Copy that, later Budge. 320 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,730 Doesn't he need your help? 321 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,138 No, it's an ODS. 322 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,130 He can do it solo. 323 00:16:15,330 --> 00:16:17,158 Oh, organ delivery service. 324 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,348 Sometimes we run organs from hospital to hospital. 325 00:16:19,350 --> 00:16:19,678 It's good. 326 00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:22,110 Money saves lives, too, right? 327 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:23,236 Oh, yeah. 328 00:16:23,238 --> 00:16:24,027 That too. 329 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,450 Sorry. Sometimes I get a little numb to it all. 330 00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:32,268 Well, all I wanted to say, man, is that I'm so glad that you 331 00:16:32,270 --> 00:16:33,410 are there for Sam. 332 00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:36,558 Because I don't think the sheriff would have known what 333 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,700 to do otherwise. 334 00:16:37,970 --> 00:16:39,290 I don't even want to think about it. 335 00:16:39,530 --> 00:16:40,241 Yeah. 336 00:17:01,204 --> 00:17:02,230 Hello, Sam. 337 00:17:03,430 --> 00:17:05,080 Look's like you had a rough night. 338 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,000 What am I doing here? 339 00:17:07,030 --> 00:17:10,690 You had a seizure and the paramedics gave you a shot of. 340 00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:11,781 Hey. 341 00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:13,790 No relax. 342 00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:15,640 Stop that. 343 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:16,780 Please, please. 344 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,220 You were going to hurt yourself. 345 00:17:18,222 --> 00:17:19,942 - I gotta get back to the farm. - I need some help in here. 346 00:17:19,944 --> 00:17:21,298 I gotta get back to the farm. 347 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:22,559 Please sit down and relax. 348 00:17:22,571 --> 00:17:23,580 No you're going to be better. 349 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,080 I gotta get back to the farm. 350 00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:27,062 Okay. Please relax sir. 351 00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:28,830 Hey, Sam. 352 00:17:29,637 --> 00:17:32,998 Wow. You gave us all quite a scare last night. 353 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,850 You know, passing out and all. 354 00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:37,798 Passing out? 355 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:38,848 You son of a bitch. 356 00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:40,078 I ought to piss on your foot. 357 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,460 Hey, watch your mouth! 358 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,958 You don't calm down. 359 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,200 Me and my deputy are going to chain you to your bed. 360 00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,300 Now, you don't want that, do you? 361 00:17:47,390 --> 00:17:49,610 Jesus, Sam, what are you doing out of bed? 362 00:17:50,150 --> 00:17:52,218 These assholes are trying to finish me off. 363 00:17:52,220 --> 00:17:55,308 Oh, nurse, will you please sedate this idiot before I 364 00:17:55,310 --> 00:17:56,268 throw him in the drink? 365 00:17:56,270 --> 00:17:57,798 I need you to calm down, Uncle Sam. 366 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,238 Okay? You're still under medication. 367 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,328 It's okay, Sam. I got your back. 368 00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:04,428 No one is going to finish anything. 369 00:18:04,430 --> 00:18:05,898 Shut up, Jamaica boy. 370 00:18:05,900 --> 00:18:07,518 He's not from Jamaica, dimwit. 371 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:07,878 Okay, that's. 372 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,480 Enough. Now get to your bed or I'm gonna sedate you myself. 373 00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:11,678 Well, they started it. 374 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,270 - Now let's go! - Ow! 375 00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:15,580 All right, calm down. 376 00:18:15,730 --> 00:18:17,948 It's okay, it's okay. 377 00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:19,330 What are you doing here, anyway? 378 00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:20,770 This is a local matter. 379 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,600 Why don't you go back to Jamaica? 380 00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,208 Jamaica? I'm not from Jamaica, man. 381 00:18:25,210 --> 00:18:26,230 I'm from Belize. 382 00:18:26,620 --> 00:18:27,790 Where the fuck is that? 383 00:18:27,820 --> 00:18:31,060 It's on the Yucatan Peninsula of Central America, bro. 384 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,600 Well, I don't give a shit. 385 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:34,648 Belize. You know what I Belize. 386 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,288 I believe this is America. 387 00:18:36,290 --> 00:18:38,898 You can take your skinny black ass and go back to Jamaica. 388 00:18:38,900 --> 00:18:41,060 When I'm Garifuna, we don't back down, yo. 389 00:18:41,090 --> 00:18:41,838 All right. 390 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,420 Okay, I understand you're both tough guys. 391 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,370 This ain't the place for it. 392 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:48,364 You're right. 393 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:49,788 This ain't the place. 394 00:18:49,790 --> 00:18:52,098 So you best give Sam his peace 395 00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:56,150 and quiet, if you know what I mean. 396 00:18:56,380 --> 00:18:56,950 Yeah. 397 00:18:56,980 --> 00:19:00,308 Quiet. I like that everybody stays quiet. 398 00:19:00,310 --> 00:19:01,780 Nobody has any problems. 399 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,820 Yeah. No problems here. 400 00:19:03,850 --> 00:19:04,990 No problems here. 401 00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:05,198 Wait. 402 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,160 We don't have a problem. 403 00:19:06,190 --> 00:19:08,230 No, we don't have problems. 404 00:19:08,260 --> 00:19:11,978 Garifuna here doesn't need to be reminded that his boss fired 405 00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:13,960 a shotgun at a bunch of teenagers. 406 00:19:13,990 --> 00:19:14,920 Now, 407 00:19:16,150 --> 00:19:19,658 if things get loud, I'm going to have to file those charges, 408 00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:20,230 aren't I? 409 00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:26,490 Like I said, man, peace and quiet. 410 00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:28,050 Okay. 411 00:19:30,060 --> 00:19:31,110 Whatever. 412 00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:41,758 That's all right. 413 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:42,540 That's good. 414 00:19:44,010 --> 00:19:44,990 That's good. 415 00:20:24,610 --> 00:20:26,980 Yeah. My family came here when this was nothing. 416 00:20:30,010 --> 00:20:33,810 We built all this town grew up around us. 417 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:39,110 Sam. 418 00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:42,138 Look. 419 00:21:01,180 --> 00:21:02,410 Oh, Jesus. 420 00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:05,030 You like that? 421 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:06,950 There's the whole case of them. 422 00:22:07,100 --> 00:22:11,140 Plus trash, two tampons and a lawn chair. 423 00:22:11,170 --> 00:22:13,780 A goddamn lawn chair. 424 00:22:14,470 --> 00:22:16,330 You and your hayride. 425 00:22:16,990 --> 00:22:20,768 Those jackasses think that your Halloween fiasco is an open 426 00:22:20,770 --> 00:22:23,978 invitation to party in the cornfields and throw the crap 427 00:22:23,980 --> 00:22:24,970 all over the place. 428 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,410 Come on, Wilbur. 429 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:29,288 That combine of yours weighs about three four tons. 430 00:22:29,290 --> 00:22:31,630 And I don't think a little junk is going to break that monster. 431 00:22:31,660 --> 00:22:32,828 That's not the point. 432 00:22:32,830 --> 00:22:36,658 The fact is, I have to stop and get out of the cab. 433 00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:39,750 And you know how much I hate to get out of the cab. 434 00:22:40,470 --> 00:22:40,860 Oh, God. 435 00:22:41,370 --> 00:22:42,538 You're right, you're right. 436 00:22:42,540 --> 00:22:44,310 Look. I'm sorry, okay? 437 00:22:44,460 --> 00:22:46,806 I will tell my guys to make sure 438 00:22:46,808 --> 00:22:48,568 they keep the guests out of 439 00:22:48,570 --> 00:22:49,768 the fields, all right? 440 00:22:49,770 --> 00:22:51,270 Or, or. 441 00:22:53,010 --> 00:22:56,130 You could just shut down the hayride altogether. 442 00:22:56,370 --> 00:22:59,660 It's a goddamned nuisance. 443 00:23:04,340 --> 00:23:06,020 Yeah. Great. 444 00:23:06,470 --> 00:23:09,200 More goddamn fart catchers. 445 00:23:34,890 --> 00:23:36,208 Ah, Betsy. 446 00:23:36,210 --> 00:23:37,920 I am touched. 447 00:23:38,010 --> 00:23:41,340 I assume you came all the way out here to check up on me. 448 00:23:41,370 --> 00:23:43,378 Seeing as I almost died last night. 449 00:23:43,380 --> 00:23:44,698 You didn't nearly die. 450 00:23:44,700 --> 00:23:47,368 You just had a mild seizure, from what I'm told. 451 00:23:47,370 --> 00:23:48,478 And don't think I don't know 452 00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,068 about you threatening those boys. 453 00:23:50,070 --> 00:23:54,298 Oh, you mean the vandals who defaced my family plot and the 454 00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:56,308 little shit who killed my dog? 455 00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:57,210 Your dog? 456 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,669 Well, I don't know anything about that, Missy, Gina. 457 00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:06,118 It has been deemed by the county that the public 458 00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:08,938 attraction called Sugartown scare is a nuisance and threat 459 00:24:08,940 --> 00:24:11,438 to public safety by writ of the Sheriff's office. 460 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,478 Wait a minute. Wait. Public safety? 461 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,338 I'm the one who was in the hospital last night. 462 00:24:15,340 --> 00:24:16,330 And a nuisance? 463 00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:17,708 A nuisance to whom? 464 00:24:17,710 --> 00:24:21,218 To these leeches who live off false insurance claims. 465 00:24:21,220 --> 00:24:22,838 I could sue you for libel. 466 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:24,910 It's not libel if it's true. 467 00:24:26,350 --> 00:24:27,550 Belize law school. 468 00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:32,978 I have a right as a citizen of this county to a safe and 469 00:24:32,980 --> 00:24:34,468 peaceful home. 470 00:24:34,470 --> 00:24:36,448 And the element that hayride 471 00:24:36,450 --> 00:24:40,980 brings to the area makes me uncomfortable. 472 00:24:41,010 --> 00:24:42,985 Well, you're entitled. Bullshit. 473 00:24:42,987 --> 00:24:44,728 Makes me uncomfortable. 474 00:24:44,730 --> 00:24:45,958 And this is my land. 475 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,238 I can do with it what I want. 476 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,398 Actually, you're still within the boundaries of Willis 477 00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,888 County, so this farm and everything that happens on it 478 00:24:52,890 --> 00:24:54,808 is under our jurisdiction. 479 00:24:54,810 --> 00:24:56,278 You're shut down. 480 00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:01,098 I believe that the state law allows for a 30-day remedy 481 00:25:01,100 --> 00:25:03,853 regarding any private business. 482 00:25:03,855 --> 00:25:04,758 Law school again? 483 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:05,810 Judge Judy. 484 00:25:06,170 --> 00:25:07,278 Well, there you have it. 485 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,638 30 days in 30 days, Halloween will be over. 486 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,438 And so who cares? 487 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,318 Well, then we'll just close the road, and then no one can get 488 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:16,188 to your farm. 489 00:25:16,190 --> 00:25:22,358 This farm is 275 acres adjacent to four roads, one of which is 490 00:25:22,360 --> 00:25:23,920 a major artery into town. 491 00:25:23,950 --> 00:25:25,300 Are you going to shut that down, too? 492 00:25:25,330 --> 00:25:26,200 Don't tempt me. 493 00:25:26,230 --> 00:25:27,790 All right, all right. 494 00:25:40,630 --> 00:25:43,030 Okay, here's what I say. 495 00:25:43,900 --> 00:25:48,888 You give me three days to make the greatest, most non 496 00:25:48,890 --> 00:25:52,940 nuisance, haunted attraction in the history of mankind. 497 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,538 And if you are not 100% satisfied with it, I will sell 498 00:25:56,540 --> 00:25:58,038 not only the parcel you want. 499 00:25:58,040 --> 00:26:00,798 I will sell the whole goddamn farm. 500 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,920 And I will leave this miserable county forever. 501 00:26:04,340 --> 00:26:09,078 However, if you agree that this is the scariest ride you've 502 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:14,048 ever been on, then no more complaints, citations, county 503 00:26:14,050 --> 00:26:15,700 writs, or other bullshit. 504 00:26:16,150 --> 00:26:17,590 So let me get this straight. 505 00:26:17,770 --> 00:26:20,678 You're willing to gamble the future of your entire family 506 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,110 farm on whether or not you can scare me. 507 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:25,750 You and your fellow commissioners. 508 00:26:25,930 --> 00:26:31,958 And I'd like to invite Dick and Karen because their opinions 509 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:33,160 matter too. 510 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,120 You have a deal. 511 00:26:36,990 --> 00:26:38,760 See you in three days. 512 00:26:42,949 --> 00:26:43,924 That's it. 513 00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:44,940 That's it. 514 00:26:44,970 --> 00:26:47,220 Now get the fuck off my land. 515 00:26:49,380 --> 00:26:50,370 I don't want that. 516 00:26:53,220 --> 00:26:54,428 Three days. 517 00:26:54,430 --> 00:26:55,410 See you later. 518 00:26:57,270 --> 00:26:59,096 Are you sure about this, my brother? 519 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:00,380 Yeah. 520 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:02,420 Time to get to work. 521 00:29:03,710 --> 00:29:05,060 Thank you, Cousin Needles. 522 00:30:33,740 --> 00:30:36,898 So this is where the 450 units are going to go. 523 00:30:36,900 --> 00:30:37,590 Approximately. 524 00:30:38,190 --> 00:30:38,940 Ladies. 525 00:30:40,410 --> 00:30:41,130 See you soon. 526 00:30:46,828 --> 00:30:47,910 Cute, Sam. 527 00:30:55,110 --> 00:30:57,720 Hey, Nick's been looking all over for you. 528 00:30:57,750 --> 00:30:58,530 Hey, Patty. 529 00:30:59,030 --> 00:30:59,750 What's up? 530 00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:01,040 What are you doing in here? 531 00:31:01,430 --> 00:31:03,048 Uh, yeah, I'm just cleaning my gun. 532 00:31:03,050 --> 00:31:04,398 They won't let me do it inside anymore. 533 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:05,210 Ever since that. 534 00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:08,510 Uh, so what's up? 535 00:31:09,410 --> 00:31:11,478 Well, I've got two invitations. 536 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:13,580 One for you and one for the sheriff. 537 00:31:14,630 --> 00:31:16,670 I'm really looking forward to seeing you there tonight. 538 00:31:16,910 --> 00:31:19,370 Yeah, I wouldn't miss it for anything. 539 00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:20,750 Great. See ya. 540 00:31:21,740 --> 00:31:22,610 Hey, Patty. 541 00:31:23,140 --> 00:31:26,498 Uh, you know, I was thinking maybe after the hayride, if 542 00:31:26,500 --> 00:31:29,858 you're not doing anything, uh, maybe we could go bobbing for 543 00:31:29,860 --> 00:31:32,170 pumpkins or carve an apple or something like that. 544 00:31:32,740 --> 00:31:33,568 Mmm. 545 00:31:34,330 --> 00:31:35,620 After the hayride? 546 00:31:36,130 --> 00:31:36,880 Yeah. 547 00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,160 Yeah. Okay. 548 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:40,120 Yeah. 549 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,600 Uh, maybe we make it a candy apple. 550 00:31:44,950 --> 00:31:47,848 Let's just see if you can deliver that invitation to your 551 00:31:47,850 --> 00:31:48,870 boss first, huh? 552 00:31:50,850 --> 00:31:52,378 I'll give it to Jubal right now. 553 00:31:52,380 --> 00:31:53,880 Great. Don't be late. 554 00:31:55,620 --> 00:31:56,730 I'll see you tonight. 555 00:32:18,342 --> 00:32:21,170 Hey Uncle Sheriff, I hold in my hand. 556 00:32:35,770 --> 00:32:37,536 Turn a crash into cash. 557 00:32:37,538 --> 00:32:40,660 Dick got me big money from my car accident. 558 00:32:40,673 --> 00:32:42,789 Money, money, money. 559 00:32:42,806 --> 00:32:45,580 Dick got me a giant settlement for my slip and fall. 560 00:32:46,270 --> 00:32:48,817 Screw you, insurance companies. 561 00:32:49,030 --> 00:32:53,680 Hi, I'm Richard Singleton, but my friends call me Dick. 562 00:32:53,890 --> 00:32:58,690 If you slip and fall, give me a call and ask for Dick. 563 00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:01,585 If you don't have Richard Singleton on your side, 564 00:33:01,587 --> 00:33:03,048 you ain't got dick. 565 00:33:03,050 --> 00:33:05,630 Dick Singleton, super lawyer. 566 00:33:06,860 --> 00:33:07,850 Isn't that great? 567 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:08,838 Tell me that's not great. 568 00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:10,610 Tell me that's not the best thing you've ever seen. 569 00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:12,428 It's great, Dick. 570 00:33:12,430 --> 00:33:13,820 Yeah, it is great. 571 00:33:14,330 --> 00:33:17,330 You're gonna get a lot of calls for that one, I'm sure. 572 00:33:20,300 --> 00:33:22,040 Well go answer the fucking door. 573 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:25,510 Anytime today would be nice. 574 00:33:31,660 --> 00:33:32,888 This is private property. 575 00:33:32,890 --> 00:33:34,150 You can't be here. 576 00:33:34,180 --> 00:33:36,548 No worries, Mrs. Singleton. 577 00:33:36,550 --> 00:33:39,008 Just delivering an invitation 578 00:33:39,010 --> 00:33:41,140 for you both to the new hayride. 579 00:33:41,470 --> 00:33:43,360 You're on the judging committee, aren't you? 580 00:33:43,390 --> 00:33:45,608 I don't all of that was for real. 581 00:33:45,610 --> 00:33:46,750 Yeah, it sure is. 582 00:33:46,780 --> 00:33:49,860 The supervisors will want to take your opinion into account. 583 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,110 I mean, you have an opinion, right? 584 00:33:53,193 --> 00:33:54,478 I sure do. 585 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:55,680 She sure does. 586 00:33:55,890 --> 00:33:57,300 Great. See you at the hayride. 587 00:34:09,210 --> 00:34:10,260 Morning, darling. 588 00:34:11,720 --> 00:34:14,600 Yeah. Carnauba wax looks real nice. 589 00:34:15,650 --> 00:34:17,480 Let's get you a little shine here. 590 00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:20,330 There you go. 591 00:34:20,900 --> 00:34:22,190 Oh, baby. 592 00:34:23,090 --> 00:34:23,840 What is it? 593 00:34:25,130 --> 00:34:28,010 ♪ And, honey, I miss you. ♪ 594 00:34:28,700 --> 00:34:30,710 ♪ And I'm being good. ♪ 595 00:34:31,580 --> 00:34:33,948 ♪ I long to be with you. ♪ 596 00:34:33,950 --> 00:34:36,850 ♪ If only I could. ♪ 597 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:40,120 Not until we saved the farm, sweetheart. 598 00:34:40,150 --> 00:34:41,140 That's right. 599 00:34:42,370 --> 00:34:43,870 Yeah. Jubal. 600 00:34:44,050 --> 00:34:47,140 Yeah, I know he's an idiot. 601 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,468 I can always fool him. 602 00:34:50,470 --> 00:34:53,830 I mean, after all, I'm a farmer and he's just a cop. 603 00:34:55,240 --> 00:34:56,498 Ah, yeah, but. 604 00:34:56,500 --> 00:34:57,430 Oh, God. 605 00:34:57,550 --> 00:34:59,080 The commissioners. 606 00:34:59,700 --> 00:35:01,920 But they're storm clouds are coming. 607 00:35:02,700 --> 00:35:06,298 Oh, I got some plans, sweetheart. 608 00:35:06,300 --> 00:35:08,640 Oh, I got some plans. 609 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,538 I know, I know, it's not Christian. 610 00:35:12,540 --> 00:35:14,790 I know, but it is, right? 611 00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:17,070 All right, sweetie, 612 00:35:18,300 --> 00:35:19,560 what do you think? 613 00:35:20,130 --> 00:35:21,240 Do you approve? 614 00:35:31,300 --> 00:35:32,410 I knew you would. 615 00:35:40,630 --> 00:35:41,410 See you later. 616 00:36:16,370 --> 00:36:20,390 Well, if Sam wants to impress us, he's off to a bad start. 617 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:23,360 You weren't seriously going to honor the bet. 618 00:36:23,390 --> 00:36:24,320 Sure we are. 619 00:36:24,350 --> 00:36:26,058 We honorably vote that this new 620 00:36:26,060 --> 00:36:29,000 ride is unsafe and not entertaining. 621 00:36:33,170 --> 00:36:34,040 Oh, that reminds me. 622 00:36:34,070 --> 00:36:37,238 Can you please feed Fiona tonight? 623 00:36:37,240 --> 00:36:38,590 She needs half a can. 624 00:36:39,010 --> 00:36:41,050 Yes, you can give her some cat treats. 625 00:36:41,650 --> 00:36:42,220 Um. 626 00:37:01,140 --> 00:37:02,310 Everything all right there, boss? 627 00:37:02,340 --> 00:37:03,030 Yeah. 628 00:37:03,810 --> 00:37:05,760 Everything's just fucking peachy. 629 00:37:06,510 --> 00:37:08,908 What do you say we take a look and see what kind of a dog and 630 00:37:08,910 --> 00:37:10,288 pony show Sam has for us? 631 00:37:10,290 --> 00:37:10,950 Shall we? 632 00:37:11,820 --> 00:37:13,560 I think it's gonna be pretty cool. 633 00:37:14,130 --> 00:37:16,710 I mean, they really went all out. 634 00:37:17,460 --> 00:37:18,630 Just give him a chance. 635 00:37:20,790 --> 00:37:21,660 Dumb ass. 636 00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:37,968 Welcome, welcome, welcome! 637 00:37:37,970 --> 00:37:39,528 Distinguished guests. 638 00:37:39,530 --> 00:37:43,814 Neighbors, Keystone cops, welcome to the new 639 00:37:43,816 --> 00:37:46,640 and improved hayride to hell. 640 00:37:52,251 --> 00:37:56,070 It was a harvest moon on the haunted hayride. 641 00:37:56,490 --> 00:38:00,180 Some will have lived and some will have died. 642 00:38:00,210 --> 00:38:03,669 The real mystery is, who will it be? 643 00:38:03,690 --> 00:38:06,990 A crooked cop or commissioners three. 644 00:38:07,590 --> 00:38:12,030 A greedy witch, a dick or the annoying bitch? 645 00:38:12,140 --> 00:38:15,260 who knows who ends up buried in the ditch? 646 00:38:15,380 --> 00:38:18,468 I warn you now, writer, beware. 647 00:38:18,470 --> 00:38:21,530 This haunt will have plenty of scare. 648 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:27,618 So as I fight to survive with this elaborate cell, I dare you 649 00:38:27,620 --> 00:38:31,220 to take the hayride to hell. 650 00:38:33,380 --> 00:38:37,570 Welcome! 651 00:38:48,580 --> 00:38:49,960 This is gonna be good. 652 00:38:51,790 --> 00:38:53,740 My dad says he and his deputy 653 00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:58,757 have been invited to judge the safety standards to 654 00:38:58,759 --> 00:39:00,370 Farmer Sam's hayride. 655 00:39:01,860 --> 00:39:02,998 I thought you said the farmer 656 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:04,200 and the sheriff hate each other. 657 00:39:05,400 --> 00:39:06,420 They do. 658 00:39:08,370 --> 00:39:09,478 All right. 659 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:10,768 Hello, ladies. 660 00:39:10,770 --> 00:39:12,928 I'm so glad you could make it out tonight. 661 00:39:12,930 --> 00:39:14,788 Thank you for the invitation. 662 00:39:14,790 --> 00:39:17,188 You realize that this doesn't mean that we will support 663 00:39:17,190 --> 00:39:18,298 keeping this going. 664 00:39:18,300 --> 00:39:20,548 Oh, no, I totally understand. 665 00:39:20,550 --> 00:39:22,680 All I'm asking is you keep an open mind. 666 00:39:22,710 --> 00:39:23,640 Fair enough. 667 00:39:24,060 --> 00:39:26,638 Because I have a feeling that by the end of tonight, you'll 668 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:29,610 understand just how important this is to our family. 669 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,700 Well, we will try and keep an open mind. 670 00:39:32,850 --> 00:39:34,468 Well, I appreciate that. 671 00:39:34,470 --> 00:39:37,318 And speaking of keeping an open mind, how about you simpletons? 672 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:38,698 That's Singleton. 673 00:39:38,700 --> 00:39:41,280 Our last name is Singleton, not Simpleton. 674 00:39:41,310 --> 00:39:42,540 Oh, that's what I meant. 675 00:39:43,230 --> 00:39:46,200 And I didn't like your poem one bit. 676 00:39:46,350 --> 00:39:49,180 Well, I am sorry about the language. 677 00:39:49,210 --> 00:39:53,438 I was trying to find a word that rhymes with witch, and 678 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:54,760 Karen wouldn't work. 679 00:39:54,790 --> 00:39:58,060 Okay, well, don't use me in any future poems. 680 00:39:58,390 --> 00:40:02,528 I guarantee that after tonight's new hayride, I will 681 00:40:02,530 --> 00:40:04,210 never speak your name again. 682 00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:05,440 You promise? 683 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:07,688 I really felt uncomfortable 684 00:40:07,690 --> 00:40:09,520 having my name mentioned like that. 685 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:12,790 Well, your comfort is my main concern. 686 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:15,410 And how about you, Jubal? 687 00:40:15,440 --> 00:40:17,780 Were you offended when I called you a crooked cop? 688 00:40:17,810 --> 00:40:20,450 Coming from you, I consider it a compliment. 689 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,308 Ah, see, that's what I'm talking about. 690 00:40:22,310 --> 00:40:23,660 He's got an open mind. 691 00:40:23,690 --> 00:40:28,038 This is a night of celebration for friends, family and 692 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:29,480 distinguished guests. 693 00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:31,968 Well, I mean, I guess that's true. 694 00:40:31,970 --> 00:40:34,038 I am something of a local celebrity, what with my 695 00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:35,150 commercial and all. 696 00:40:36,170 --> 00:40:37,300 Y'all see my commercial? 697 00:40:38,860 --> 00:40:41,500 If you don't have Richard Singleton, you ain't got dick. 698 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:43,630 Well, come on, no one. 699 00:40:44,230 --> 00:40:45,608 It's on the home improvement channel. 700 00:40:45,610 --> 00:40:46,540 Prime time. 701 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:48,788 I told you, not everybody watches those shows. 702 00:40:48,790 --> 00:40:50,768 House flipper shows, billion dollar listings, 703 00:40:50,770 --> 00:40:52,748 home makeover, house porn. 704 00:40:52,750 --> 00:40:54,008 Everybody watches house porn. 705 00:40:54,010 --> 00:40:55,150 They just don't admit it. 706 00:40:55,780 --> 00:40:57,250 I've seen the commercial. 707 00:40:57,252 --> 00:40:58,510 See? What did I tell you? 708 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,318 Well, you know, speaking of commercial, that reminds me. 709 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:05,818 I must insist that there are no pictures or videos, so please 710 00:41:05,820 --> 00:41:07,228 hand me your phones. 711 00:41:07,230 --> 00:41:08,520 I don't think so. 712 00:41:08,610 --> 00:41:12,478 Nobody gives up their phone if he does anything shady or 713 00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:14,220 illegal, I want proof. 714 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,520 Are you speaking from personal experience there, Jubal? 715 00:41:17,550 --> 00:41:18,928 It's not negotiable. 716 00:41:18,930 --> 00:41:20,700 No phones, no hayride. 717 00:41:20,730 --> 00:41:21,718 All right, all right, all. 718 00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:22,378 Right, all right. 719 00:41:22,380 --> 00:41:23,278 Keep your phones. 720 00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:26,808 But, please, I ask you no photos or videos. 721 00:41:26,810 --> 00:41:27,168 Oh, we. 722 00:41:27,170 --> 00:41:30,798 Understand how important this hayride is to you, so we'll 723 00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,208 respect your wishes. 724 00:41:32,210 --> 00:41:32,690 Right? 725 00:41:33,410 --> 00:41:35,388 But remember the terms of our deal. 726 00:41:35,390 --> 00:41:38,148 If we find anything unsafe or illegal, we are shutting you 727 00:41:38,150 --> 00:41:39,618 down forever. 728 00:41:39,620 --> 00:41:42,078 There is no way in hell I would let that happen. 729 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:43,758 But I am a man of my word. 730 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:44,990 A deal is a deal. 731 00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:49,630 So without further ado, Hazel, 732 00:41:50,290 --> 00:41:52,960 can you please pour the hot cider? 733 00:42:01,210 --> 00:42:03,370 Well, time to mark my territory. 734 00:42:05,170 --> 00:42:05,980 Mhm. Mhm. 735 00:42:06,820 --> 00:42:07,408 Fuck. 736 00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:18,120 I piss on your grave. 737 00:42:21,090 --> 00:42:22,140 Isn't that a song? 738 00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:24,300 It's piss on your grave. 739 00:42:24,330 --> 00:42:25,170 No, I. 740 00:42:25,650 --> 00:42:26,758 Yeah, dude, I think it's 741 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:28,888 implied, but, I mean, I don't know. 742 00:42:28,890 --> 00:42:30,330 It's just definitely implied. 743 00:42:31,230 --> 00:42:36,780 I implied piss on your grave. 744 00:42:38,105 --> 00:42:39,790 I piss! 745 00:42:40,420 --> 00:42:41,560 Oh, piss. 746 00:42:41,830 --> 00:42:42,850 What? What? 747 00:42:46,180 --> 00:42:47,920 What? What? 748 00:42:48,250 --> 00:42:49,208 No, no. 749 00:42:49,210 --> 00:42:50,590 What? What? 750 00:42:50,830 --> 00:42:51,548 Hey! Stop! 751 00:42:51,550 --> 00:42:52,120 Stop, stop! 752 00:42:52,150 --> 00:42:52,848 Hey! 753 00:44:08,622 --> 00:44:09,220 Hey, 754 00:44:10,090 --> 00:44:13,240 Now that's what I'm talking about. 755 00:44:15,931 --> 00:44:16,740 For you, Karen. 756 00:44:26,580 --> 00:44:27,196 Dimler. 757 00:44:27,198 --> 00:44:28,348 Dimwit. Whatever. 758 00:44:28,980 --> 00:44:29,400 Okay. 759 00:44:42,293 --> 00:44:44,090 Oh. That's my cue. 760 00:44:44,330 --> 00:44:46,670 Let the festivities begin. 761 00:44:46,700 --> 00:44:48,470 Ah! Look at you all. 762 00:44:48,500 --> 00:44:50,771 Let's toast to the hayride to hell. 763 00:44:50,780 --> 00:44:53,270 May it steel the hearts of my critics. 764 00:45:01,310 --> 00:45:04,050 Oh, and keep your cups. 765 00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:07,080 Hazel has refills and treats for the ride. 766 00:45:07,110 --> 00:45:10,950 Yep. Just ask and I'll heat you up with my witch's brew. 767 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:12,390 Here we go. 768 00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:18,870 Oh, good God. 769 00:45:19,680 --> 00:45:20,490 Oh! 770 00:45:21,510 --> 00:45:23,730 Oh! Hello. 771 00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:26,990 It's almost three carats. 772 00:45:27,020 --> 00:45:28,010 No. 773 00:45:29,090 --> 00:45:31,010 I gotta get me one of these. 774 00:45:32,030 --> 00:45:33,710 To hell you ride. 775 00:46:42,140 --> 00:46:42,890 Oh man. 776 00:46:43,730 --> 00:46:45,138 This is the same as last year. 777 00:46:45,140 --> 00:46:48,080 You've actually paid money to go on this hayride before? 778 00:46:48,110 --> 00:46:48,828 Yeah, sure. 779 00:46:48,830 --> 00:46:50,000 It's a family tradition. 780 00:46:51,230 --> 00:46:52,878 I hope the commissioners give it a good review. 781 00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:54,530 I hate for this to all go away. 782 00:46:55,220 --> 00:46:58,550 You really don't have much going on upstairs, do you? 783 00:46:59,030 --> 00:46:59,975 What? 784 00:46:59,977 --> 00:47:01,638 It's a haunted hayride, man. 785 00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:04,450 This is This is nothing not to like about this. 786 00:47:06,550 --> 00:47:10,489 Ah. Take a balloon, have a balloon 787 00:47:10,840 --> 00:47:11,800 Red balloon. 788 00:47:29,240 --> 00:47:29,988 Hazel. 789 00:47:29,990 --> 00:47:31,070 Oh, um. 790 00:47:34,790 --> 00:47:41,178 On your right is the infamous skeleton house, built by Jane 791 00:47:41,180 --> 00:47:46,070 Cox in the 1890s and burned to the ground in the 1900s. 792 00:47:46,430 --> 00:47:50,210 This haunted hut from hell was 793 00:47:50,240 --> 00:47:52,310 a heinous hub for atrocious activity. 794 00:47:52,340 --> 00:47:53,780 Aces up his sleeve. 795 00:47:54,470 --> 00:47:55,507 Cute. 796 00:47:57,560 --> 00:47:58,640 Now listen up, you two. 797 00:47:58,670 --> 00:48:02,088 No matter what tricks Farmer Sam has up his sleeve, we are 798 00:48:02,090 --> 00:48:03,650 not going to give him a good review. 799 00:48:03,770 --> 00:48:06,770 But what if he really did make great changes and improvements? 800 00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:09,588 No. I'm sick and tired of fighting with that bastard over 801 00:48:09,590 --> 00:48:13,308 zoning and noise and traffic patterns and water violations 802 00:48:13,310 --> 00:48:14,240 and taxes. 803 00:48:14,250 --> 00:48:15,870 And I get it, I get it. 804 00:48:16,410 --> 00:48:17,070 You hate him. 805 00:48:17,190 --> 00:48:18,750 It's more than that, missy. 806 00:48:18,870 --> 00:48:19,980 Whose side are you on? 807 00:48:20,010 --> 00:48:22,768 I thought I was representing the best interests of all the 808 00:48:22,770 --> 00:48:24,150 residents of Willis County. 809 00:48:24,180 --> 00:48:27,060 Nope. We represent the future. 810 00:48:27,090 --> 00:48:27,868 Out with the old. 811 00:48:27,870 --> 00:48:28,890 In with the new. 812 00:48:30,030 --> 00:48:32,968 And I ask you, can anybody 813 00:48:32,970 --> 00:48:36,720 really win if everybody's cheating? 814 00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:01,910 I've lost my head. 815 00:49:02,380 --> 00:49:03,430 Has anybody seen it? 816 00:49:03,850 --> 00:49:04,990 I've lost my head. 817 00:49:05,500 --> 00:49:06,640 I have to find it. 818 00:49:06,940 --> 00:49:08,710 Has anybody seen my head? 819 00:49:08,740 --> 00:49:10,030 You're supposed to say something back. 820 00:49:10,330 --> 00:49:11,620 I'm not saying anything. 821 00:49:11,650 --> 00:49:12,878 You say something. 822 00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:13,624 He spoke to you. 823 00:49:13,626 --> 00:49:14,399 Has anybody seen it? 824 00:49:15,700 --> 00:49:17,080 Shit. Okay, well, that was lame. 825 00:49:17,410 --> 00:49:18,550 This is all lame. 826 00:49:19,180 --> 00:49:21,698 I don't know why I let you talk me into this stupid hayride in 827 00:49:21,700 --> 00:49:22,450 the first place. 828 00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:22,868 Oh, no. 829 00:49:22,870 --> 00:49:24,638 That girl talked you into it. 830 00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:26,320 I'm just along for the ride. 831 00:49:26,407 --> 00:49:29,840 We were supposed to be judges in some sort of contest. 832 00:49:29,842 --> 00:49:32,250 If I had known, we would be sitting in this. 833 00:49:36,300 --> 00:49:37,890 That is not funny dick. 834 00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,840 - It's pretty funny to me. - Asshole. 835 00:49:40,110 --> 00:49:42,450 Oh, come on, Karen, it's all fake. 836 00:49:44,190 --> 00:49:46,080 They take the blades off the chainsaw. 837 00:49:48,210 --> 00:49:49,260 We're perfectly safe. 838 00:49:50,620 --> 00:49:51,280 You're just afraid. 839 00:49:53,830 --> 00:49:54,760 Jesus Christ! 840 00:49:56,620 --> 00:49:57,730 Whoa, whoa. 841 00:50:07,287 --> 00:50:09,189 That's not funny, dick. 842 00:50:17,580 --> 00:50:18,480 Jesus. 843 00:50:22,470 --> 00:50:25,558 I know, I know, I'm sorry, baby, but you got to admit that 844 00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:27,810 - they got you. - Got me? 845 00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:30,480 Got me? What the fuck Dick? 846 00:50:30,870 --> 00:50:33,660 I do not have to put up with this kind of. 847 00:50:35,935 --> 00:50:37,110 A fucking clown? 848 00:50:37,710 --> 00:50:39,440 Are you fucking kidding me? 849 00:50:40,130 --> 00:50:42,530 I want to talk to the fucking manager. 850 00:50:43,220 --> 00:50:44,540 That would be me. 851 00:51:55,730 --> 00:51:56,988 Oh wait, oh wait. 852 00:51:56,990 --> 00:51:58,008 This one's a this one's a good one. 853 00:51:58,010 --> 00:51:59,478 This one's a good one. I promise. 854 00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:00,230 Okay, here we go. 855 00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:03,350 We all know the tale of William Tell. 856 00:52:03,380 --> 00:52:06,258 He disobeyed his king, who then reigned down hell. 857 00:52:06,260 --> 00:52:09,528 The king proposed a test of his great aim. 858 00:52:09,530 --> 00:52:14,030 Shoot an apple as part of a game. 859 00:52:14,210 --> 00:52:16,890 Oh, boy, it was swell. 860 00:52:17,130 --> 00:52:21,570 But perhaps today's test will be the boy's death knell. 861 00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:22,500 Death knell? 862 00:52:22,530 --> 00:52:24,935 Death? Sam, death knell? 863 00:52:24,937 --> 00:52:27,090 Yeah. Jesus. 864 00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:29,970 What did you get this from the Maritime Thesaurus? 865 00:52:30,750 --> 00:52:31,978 I have wagered 866 00:52:31,980 --> 00:52:36,780 against my critics the life of my own son. 867 00:52:37,410 --> 00:52:40,095 That this crossbow will hit it's mark. 868 00:52:41,030 --> 00:52:42,350 Hey! Help! 869 00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:43,970 Stop! Stop! 870 00:52:44,390 --> 00:52:45,121 Stop! 871 00:52:52,220 --> 00:52:53,043 Help! 872 00:52:53,045 --> 00:52:55,520 Alright folks, your turn now. 873 00:52:55,550 --> 00:52:57,830 Who among you is a marksman? 874 00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:00,830 Huh? Jubal, what about you? 875 00:53:01,250 --> 00:53:03,140 That seems to be right up your alley. 876 00:53:03,610 --> 00:53:04,780 Damn right it is. 877 00:53:05,110 --> 00:53:07,178 Well, dummies fake, but the 878 00:53:07,180 --> 00:53:09,820 crossbow is real and sited perfectly. 879 00:53:10,240 --> 00:53:12,250 How good is your aim? 880 00:53:12,670 --> 00:53:14,110 It's goddamn perfect. 881 00:53:14,620 --> 00:53:15,361 Well. 882 00:53:16,330 --> 00:53:19,660 All right, well at the mark of zero split the apple. 883 00:53:19,690 --> 00:53:21,803 - Hey. Anyone help! - You win a prize. 884 00:53:21,824 --> 00:53:22,510 You ready? 885 00:53:23,770 --> 00:53:25,330 Hey! Hey! 886 00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:27,720 It's me, Chucky. Stop! 887 00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:33,570 Three. Two. 888 00:53:34,630 --> 00:53:36,075 Hey stop! 889 00:53:36,270 --> 00:53:39,180 One. Zero! 890 00:53:39,900 --> 00:53:40,620 Dad! 891 00:53:42,240 --> 00:53:44,760 We have a winner! 892 00:53:45,510 --> 00:53:47,395 The site was off. 893 00:53:49,500 --> 00:53:50,310 Well. 894 00:53:51,980 --> 00:53:52,518 That's all right. 895 00:53:52,520 --> 00:53:53,720 You're a winner anyway. 896 00:53:53,750 --> 00:53:55,998 Hazel, give the man a candy apple. 897 00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,190 Unless you've pocketed the rest of them. 898 00:54:36,700 --> 00:54:39,188 And now for a public service announcement. 899 00:54:39,190 --> 00:54:43,248 Please don't drink and drive, but if you do, be sure to sign 900 00:54:43,250 --> 00:54:44,900 up as an organ donor. 901 00:54:45,950 --> 00:54:48,500 Don't take your organs to hell. 902 00:54:48,590 --> 00:54:50,600 Heaven knows we need them here. 903 00:54:51,410 --> 00:54:51,980 Thank you. 904 00:54:52,520 --> 00:54:54,768 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 905 00:54:54,770 --> 00:54:58,070 I hope you've all been taking good care of your vital organs. 906 00:54:58,160 --> 00:54:59,420 Patty pop quiz. 907 00:54:59,690 --> 00:55:00,440 Are you ready? 908 00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:02,030 Kidneys. 909 00:55:02,630 --> 00:55:07,036 See New York state College and Boston. 910 00:55:07,038 --> 00:55:07,928 Heart? 911 00:55:07,930 --> 00:55:09,130 - Philadelphia. - Oh, yeah. 912 00:55:09,310 --> 00:55:10,780 - Hershey. - Yep. 913 00:55:11,020 --> 00:55:13,508 - Allentown. - Check. Lungs. 914 00:55:13,510 --> 00:55:14,710 Harrisburg. 915 00:55:14,770 --> 00:55:18,220 Philadelphia and Pittsburgh. 916 00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:19,750 Check and liver. 917 00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:22,750 Baltimore. Washington, DC. 918 00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:23,847 Ah. 919 00:55:24,010 --> 00:55:26,828 And Scranton. 920 00:55:26,830 --> 00:55:28,350 Yes! Perfection! 921 00:55:31,230 --> 00:55:32,760 This looks really realistic. 922 00:55:33,150 --> 00:55:35,968 Yeah. One time there was this accident on route 202, and this 923 00:55:35,970 --> 00:55:37,920 guy was cut in half with a steering wheel. 924 00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:40,650 These effects just like it. 925 00:55:41,100 --> 00:55:42,510 Really realistic. 926 00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:50,550 Hey. Hey, Patty. 927 00:55:52,100 --> 00:55:52,996 Hey, Nick. 928 00:55:54,260 --> 00:55:55,101 She digs me. 929 00:55:56,210 --> 00:55:57,684 We're gonna carve a pumpkin, later. 930 00:55:59,540 --> 00:56:01,430 This is really starting to creep me out. 931 00:56:01,460 --> 00:56:03,110 What the hell is going on here? 932 00:56:03,350 --> 00:56:04,548 Oh, Jesus. 933 00:56:04,550 --> 00:56:06,320 It's supposed to be creepy. 934 00:56:06,410 --> 00:56:08,047 I think it's just gross. 935 00:56:08,049 --> 00:56:09,620 Chopping up a body like that. 936 00:56:09,950 --> 00:56:11,180 This is disgusting. 937 00:56:11,210 --> 00:56:14,060 Well, then there's your reason for shutting this down. 938 00:56:14,210 --> 00:56:15,290 You have my vote. 939 00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:18,040 That's more like it. 940 00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,760 Ruby, where are you, girl? 941 00:56:25,270 --> 00:56:26,950 There you are, good girl. 942 00:57:47,550 --> 00:57:48,480 Hey, Dick. 943 00:57:49,830 --> 00:57:50,968 Dick. 944 00:57:50,970 --> 00:57:52,730 That name. 945 00:57:52,850 --> 00:57:53,720 That's me. 946 00:57:54,080 --> 00:57:58,160 Dick. Dick, Dickity, Dick, Dick, Dick. 947 00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:02,900 Actually, it's Richard, but I never really liked that name. 948 00:58:03,830 --> 00:58:06,650 So you think Dick is better? 949 00:58:06,830 --> 00:58:08,780 Hey, at least my last name isn't face. 950 00:58:11,180 --> 00:58:12,680 Dick face. 951 00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:16,600 That's a good one. 952 00:58:18,820 --> 00:58:21,373 You always do make me laugh. 953 00:58:27,220 --> 00:58:29,500 Ah. Get a room. 954 00:58:30,464 --> 00:58:32,740 I think it's sweet. 955 00:58:33,370 --> 00:58:39,280 I wish I had a soul mate or a lover or even a fuck buddy. 956 00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:41,130 Somebody say my name. 957 00:58:41,250 --> 00:58:44,491 Uh. Shut up dimwit! 958 00:58:44,525 --> 00:58:46,111 Why does everybody keep calling me that? 959 00:58:46,890 --> 00:58:47,668 It's Dermot. 960 00:58:48,420 --> 00:58:49,650 My name is Dermot Nixler. 961 00:58:52,170 --> 00:58:57,598 You have got to be the stupidest motherfucker on the 962 00:58:57,600 --> 00:58:58,650 face of the earth. 963 00:59:00,763 --> 00:59:02,190 What about outer space? 964 00:59:03,300 --> 00:59:04,440 Good point. 965 00:59:04,670 --> 00:59:06,468 I stand corrected, you are the 966 00:59:06,470 --> 00:59:09,860 stupidest motherfucker in the universe. 967 00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:14,210 Oh, look. 968 00:59:15,110 --> 00:59:16,580 Fireflies. 969 00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,430 Oh! The intestines. 970 00:59:58,473 --> 00:59:59,630 Damnit, Ruby! No! 971 01:00:05,090 --> 01:00:07,490 - Seriously? - Sorry. 972 01:00:37,540 --> 01:00:39,128 We we pound pond. 973 01:00:39,130 --> 01:00:42,658 We now transport you to a faraway 974 01:00:42,660 --> 01:00:44,580 land of tropical terror. 975 01:00:44,670 --> 01:00:46,468 Where the locals know to. 976 01:00:46,470 --> 01:00:50,310 Fear the keeper of the pond. 977 01:00:50,410 --> 01:00:53,158 Here our safety is solely secured. 978 01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:55,590 Through satisfying his sadistic. 979 01:00:55,950 --> 01:01:01,378 Predilections. The unsuitably sick son of a virgin 980 01:01:01,380 --> 01:01:04,440 sacrifice to protect. 981 01:01:04,910 --> 01:01:06,888 Virgin. Where are you gonna find a virgin? 982 01:01:06,890 --> 01:01:08,450 How are we gonna find a virgin? 983 01:01:09,500 --> 01:01:10,850 I don't know a virgin. 984 01:01:11,030 --> 01:01:14,060 I don't know any virgin's. Vergina. 985 01:01:22,460 --> 01:01:22,910 Oh. 986 01:01:23,570 --> 01:01:25,940 Look, there's something in the water over there. 987 01:01:26,420 --> 01:01:28,160 What is that? 988 01:01:36,130 --> 01:01:38,080 What are you doing here? 989 01:01:39,850 --> 01:01:41,440 Holy crap! 990 01:01:47,950 --> 01:01:50,890 I said get off my pond! 991 01:01:52,376 --> 01:01:54,076 I said get off, 992 01:01:54,560 --> 01:01:55,808 my pond! 993 01:02:07,130 --> 01:02:09,170 You'd better run for it, dude. 994 01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:11,242 Help! 995 01:02:15,980 --> 01:02:18,289 You're so screwed now. 996 01:02:24,226 --> 01:02:25,390 Oh my God! 997 01:02:34,641 --> 01:02:35,733 Help! 998 01:02:40,247 --> 01:02:41,902 Help! Help! 999 01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:49,260 That was awesome. 1000 01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:53,670 Yeah. No, that's what I'm talking about. 1001 01:02:54,865 --> 01:02:59,010 Wow. Damn, Sam. I am impressed. 1002 01:02:59,610 --> 01:03:01,049 Pleasure's all mine. 1003 01:03:02,340 --> 01:03:04,859 I, I have eight fingers. 1004 01:03:30,190 --> 01:03:31,390 Time to kill. 1005 01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:41,440 I need a volunteer. 1006 01:03:41,770 --> 01:03:42,698 Hey, Hazel. 1007 01:03:42,700 --> 01:03:43,538 Over here. 1008 01:03:43,540 --> 01:03:44,408 Come over here. 1009 01:03:44,410 --> 01:03:45,610 I need your help. 1010 01:03:45,880 --> 01:03:46,810 Hazel, come. 1011 01:03:46,930 --> 01:03:48,220 Come help us out. 1012 01:03:48,580 --> 01:03:50,228 Come on, everybody, give. 1013 01:03:50,230 --> 01:03:51,550 Her some encouragement. 1014 01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:53,670 Ready, Hazel. 1015 01:03:53,730 --> 01:03:55,890 Hazel. Hazel. 1016 01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:58,320 Hazel. Hazel. 1017 01:03:58,350 --> 01:04:00,360 Hazel. Hazel. 1018 01:04:00,690 --> 01:04:03,000 Hazel. Hazel. 1019 01:04:03,300 --> 01:04:05,430 Hazel. Hazel. 1020 01:04:05,730 --> 01:04:07,980 Hazel. Hazel. 1021 01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:12,060 Hazel. Yeah. 1022 01:04:12,840 --> 01:04:13,618 Good girl. 1023 01:04:13,620 --> 01:04:15,148 Just kick it with your foot. 1024 01:04:15,150 --> 01:04:15,690 Yeah. 1025 01:04:19,600 --> 01:04:20,302 Okay. 1026 01:04:24,010 --> 01:04:25,808 Yeah. Yeah. 1027 01:04:25,810 --> 01:04:27,310 Yeah. Yeah. 1028 01:04:27,340 --> 01:04:27,790 Nice. 1029 01:04:32,230 --> 01:04:32,800 Yeah. 1030 01:04:34,510 --> 01:04:35,479 Good job, Hazel. 1031 01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:44,621 Thank you. 1032 01:04:45,690 --> 01:04:46,860 That's my Hazel. 1033 01:05:20,750 --> 01:05:23,150 Witch! Witch! 1034 01:05:24,800 --> 01:05:25,910 Witch. 1035 01:05:26,990 --> 01:05:29,268 Is there a which amongst you travelers? 1036 01:05:29,270 --> 01:05:31,183 My wife is a witch once a month. 1037 01:05:31,540 --> 01:05:32,545 Asshole. 1038 01:05:32,554 --> 01:05:34,148 I know it's hard to hear, baby, but someone's got to tell you 1039 01:05:34,150 --> 01:05:34,778 the truth. 1040 01:05:34,780 --> 01:05:37,390 I say again, my fellow pilgrims. 1041 01:05:37,660 --> 01:05:40,600 Is there a witch in this wagon? 1042 01:05:44,260 --> 01:05:48,700 And now for our featured performer, witch Hazel. 1043 01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:50,280 Um. 1044 01:05:50,350 --> 01:05:51,400 Here I am. 1045 01:05:52,300 --> 01:05:54,810 Yes. Perfect. 1046 01:05:55,020 --> 01:05:58,080 Come with me, you rapacious witch. 1047 01:06:01,410 --> 01:06:02,190 A witch. 1048 01:06:02,220 --> 01:06:03,150 A witch! 1049 01:06:03,180 --> 01:06:05,280 My kingdom for a witch. 1050 01:06:05,310 --> 01:06:08,025 Oh my God! Fuck. Okay. Easy on the goods. 1051 01:06:08,250 --> 01:06:10,138 Fix your eyes upon her. 1052 01:06:10,140 --> 01:06:12,538 But be not beguiled by her beauty. 1053 01:06:12,540 --> 01:06:18,168 For beneath this exquisite feminine form is a wretched, 1054 01:06:18,170 --> 01:06:19,580 decrepit witch. 1055 01:06:19,610 --> 01:06:24,200 And tonight we purge the scenes of this greedy whore. 1056 01:06:24,290 --> 01:06:26,150 - What? - Just play along. 1057 01:06:26,660 --> 01:06:27,558 Oh, yeah. 1058 01:06:27,560 --> 01:06:30,740 Um. I'm a naughty witch, and I need to be punished. 1059 01:06:31,640 --> 01:06:32,390 You're doing great. 1060 01:06:32,420 --> 01:06:32,930 Okay. Yeah. 1061 01:06:33,170 --> 01:06:34,908 Um. I'm greedy and 1062 01:06:34,910 --> 01:06:37,398 I'm evil and I'm exquisite, and, uh. 1063 01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:39,140 And I don't use dental floss. 1064 01:06:39,170 --> 01:06:40,610 Tie her to the stake. 1065 01:06:48,420 --> 01:06:49,620 Jesus. It's a little tight. 1066 01:06:49,980 --> 01:06:50,940 Got to sell it, baby. 1067 01:06:58,140 --> 01:06:58,950 It's not funny. 1068 01:06:59,370 --> 01:07:01,445 It's not fucking funny. 1069 01:07:07,410 --> 01:07:08,775 You guys, please. 1070 01:07:10,010 --> 01:07:10,592 Ah! 1071 01:07:11,480 --> 01:07:13,370 Oh my God, what is that? 1072 01:07:13,430 --> 01:07:15,470 Gasoline, you greedy bitch! 1073 01:07:15,830 --> 01:07:17,390 What? What no! 1074 01:07:17,420 --> 01:07:19,370 Jubel! Jubel no! 1075 01:07:19,970 --> 01:07:20,810 What'd she say? 1076 01:07:21,432 --> 01:07:23,060 Beats me, the music's too loud. 1077 01:07:24,290 --> 01:07:25,730 This is what you really want, isn't it? 1078 01:07:25,760 --> 01:07:28,518 You've been stealing from this farm for years. 1079 01:07:28,520 --> 01:07:30,550 What's another $100, right? 1080 01:07:30,820 --> 01:07:31,598 No, please. 1081 01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:32,356 Okay. Um. 1082 01:07:32,358 --> 01:07:33,578 Hey, I'll give it to you. 1083 01:07:33,580 --> 01:07:34,238 I'll give it all back. 1084 01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:35,108 I'll give it all back. 1085 01:07:35,110 --> 01:07:36,818 Just how much did you steal? 1086 01:07:36,820 --> 01:07:37,328 A lot. 1087 01:07:37,330 --> 01:07:38,138 Oh, so a lot. 1088 01:07:38,140 --> 01:07:40,251 And if you help me, I'll make it so worth your while. 1089 01:07:40,253 --> 01:07:40,840 Please. 1090 01:07:43,450 --> 01:07:46,617 Nah, the show must go on. 1091 01:07:46,619 --> 01:07:47,497 No! 1092 01:07:54,660 --> 01:07:55,860 It looks so real. 1093 01:07:55,871 --> 01:07:57,090 How did he do that? 1094 01:07:58,590 --> 01:08:00,000 I gotta hand it to you, Sam. 1095 01:08:00,270 --> 01:08:01,560 You went all out this time? 1096 01:08:02,100 --> 01:08:05,158 Yeah, like I told you, we will do whatever. 1097 01:08:05,160 --> 01:08:07,080 It takes to keep our farm. 1098 01:08:52,330 --> 01:08:54,190 Hello there, travelers! 1099 01:08:54,220 --> 01:08:56,860 Do you have any body parts to spare? 1100 01:08:56,890 --> 01:08:59,620 I'm perfecting my masterpiece. 1101 01:09:00,040 --> 01:09:03,010 Well, if you don't need a brain, deputy dimwit, your man. 1102 01:09:03,610 --> 01:09:04,690 Oh, yes. 1103 01:09:04,960 --> 01:09:06,558 A fantastic specimen. 1104 01:09:06,560 --> 01:09:08,450 Look at those muscles. 1105 01:09:08,810 --> 01:09:12,410 Why, you look like a Christmas sausage bursting at the seams. 1106 01:09:13,520 --> 01:09:16,910 Deputy Dexler, I do believe you're making me blush. 1107 01:09:17,480 --> 01:09:18,498 You're making me blush. 1108 01:09:18,500 --> 01:09:19,670 You know my name? 1109 01:09:19,850 --> 01:09:20,898 That's impressive. 1110 01:09:20,900 --> 01:09:22,550 That's because you're special. 1111 01:09:22,760 --> 01:09:23,441 Oh. 1112 01:09:23,690 --> 01:09:25,010 He's special, all right. 1113 01:09:25,220 --> 01:09:28,608 Uh, deputy, would you be a peach and come on down and help 1114 01:09:28,610 --> 01:09:30,230 me with my electric chair? 1115 01:09:30,370 --> 01:09:31,210 Count me in. 1116 01:09:31,240 --> 01:09:32,500 Can I flip the switch? 1117 01:09:32,740 --> 01:09:34,060 Absolutely. 1118 01:09:35,530 --> 01:09:37,960 My hunk of burning flesh. 1119 01:09:38,440 --> 01:09:39,638 Hey, you guys should call me, 1120 01:09:39,640 --> 01:09:41,920 uh, Doctor Jekyll and Deputy Hyde. 1121 01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:45,940 Ho ho ho ho ho! 1122 01:09:47,230 --> 01:09:49,840 Do we have any good boys and girls with us this evening? 1123 01:09:49,870 --> 01:09:52,210 Hell no evil, pumpkin Claus. 1124 01:09:52,300 --> 01:09:54,610 All we have are naughty little children. 1125 01:09:54,660 --> 01:09:56,610 You mean those monsters over there? 1126 01:10:01,890 --> 01:10:03,238 No, I mean those. 1127 01:10:03,240 --> 01:10:06,528 Sons of bitches that are trying to steal my farm! 1128 01:10:06,530 --> 01:10:07,650 Ah! 1129 01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:11,910 Come on, get the cuffs. 1130 01:10:15,300 --> 01:10:16,119 Hey! 1131 01:10:18,740 --> 01:10:20,750 How do you like that chicken pussy? 1132 01:10:20,900 --> 01:10:22,490 Doesn't feel too good, does it? 1133 01:10:29,480 --> 01:10:31,310 The fuck is going on? 1134 01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:33,740 Ho ho ho ho ho! 1135 01:10:34,640 --> 01:10:36,350 Ho ho ho ho! 1136 01:10:37,160 --> 01:10:39,498 God damn it, Sam, get me out of 1137 01:10:39,500 --> 01:10:41,870 this or I will throw your ass in jail! 1138 01:10:42,080 --> 01:10:44,410 Seems to me like you're the one in chains. 1139 01:10:44,650 --> 01:10:45,749 Strap him in. 1140 01:10:59,140 --> 01:11:00,132 What are you doing guys? 1141 01:11:00,400 --> 01:11:01,171 What are you doing? 1142 01:11:01,540 --> 01:11:02,621 Oh! Hey, guys hold on. 1143 01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:04,960 Come on. Alright guys. 1144 01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:06,310 It's not funny anymore. 1145 01:11:06,340 --> 01:11:07,350 What are they doing to him? 1146 01:11:07,380 --> 01:11:07,920 I don't know. 1147 01:11:07,950 --> 01:11:09,330 Are they going to electrocute him? 1148 01:11:09,360 --> 01:11:10,320 I don't know. 1149 01:11:10,350 --> 01:11:11,010 Oh my God. 1150 01:11:11,100 --> 01:11:12,360 Are they going to electrocute us? 1151 01:11:12,390 --> 01:11:14,220 I don't know, I don't fucking know. 1152 01:11:14,250 --> 01:11:16,860 I'm not a goddamn encyclopedia. 1153 01:11:23,160 --> 01:11:24,270 You're welcome. 1154 01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:33,430 Ha! God damn it, Sam, I swear I'm gonna kill you! 1155 01:11:33,460 --> 01:11:34,270 Ha ha ha! 1156 01:11:34,300 --> 01:11:35,890 You've been trying that for years. 1157 01:11:35,920 --> 01:11:37,808 What makes you think you'll be lucky this time? 1158 01:11:37,810 --> 01:11:40,484 Cause this time you're really pissing me off! 1159 01:11:40,486 --> 01:11:42,730 Oh, sticks and stones, Jubal. 1160 01:11:42,760 --> 01:11:45,728 Oh, by the way, do you remember back in high school when you 1161 01:11:45,730 --> 01:11:47,168 were certain that your 1162 01:11:47,170 --> 01:11:49,180 girlfriend was fucking another guy? 1163 01:11:49,210 --> 01:11:50,110 Fuck you. 1164 01:11:50,140 --> 01:11:50,768 Wait a minute. 1165 01:11:50,770 --> 01:11:51,910 You already knew that. 1166 01:11:52,240 --> 01:11:52,840 Oh, shit. 1167 01:11:52,930 --> 01:11:54,970 I was planning this big reveal and everything. 1168 01:11:54,990 --> 01:11:57,780 I am so gonna fucking kill you! 1169 01:11:57,810 --> 01:12:00,180 Well, you can try again. 1170 01:12:01,050 --> 01:12:02,458 I don't want to do this anymore. 1171 01:12:02,460 --> 01:12:04,080 Guys. Uncle, please help me. 1172 01:12:04,498 --> 01:12:06,300 It's okay Nix. It's okay. 1173 01:12:06,591 --> 01:12:08,368 Come on Sam! God damn it! 1174 01:12:08,370 --> 01:12:10,380 He's just a kid, for Christ's sakes. 1175 01:12:12,573 --> 01:12:13,500 No! 1176 01:12:24,740 --> 01:12:26,420 Shit's getting real now. 1177 01:12:45,460 --> 01:12:46,569 Mhm. 1178 01:12:47,680 --> 01:12:48,656 Mhm. 1179 01:13:46,520 --> 01:13:47,570 We gotta get out of here. 1180 01:13:47,780 --> 01:13:48,948 He is not gonna get us. 1181 01:13:48,950 --> 01:13:49,800 Okay? 1182 01:13:50,480 --> 01:13:51,170 Listen up. 1183 01:13:51,560 --> 01:13:53,210 On the next turn, we're gonna go 1184 01:13:53,480 --> 01:13:54,318 off the wagon. 1185 01:13:54,320 --> 01:13:55,500 On my go. Ready? 1186 01:14:07,380 --> 01:14:08,108 Ah! 1187 01:14:09,120 --> 01:14:09,769 Ah! 1188 01:14:25,730 --> 01:14:28,174 No. Truckee, no! 1189 01:14:34,190 --> 01:14:35,895 No! Truckee, no! 1190 01:14:36,110 --> 01:14:37,970 And you killed him with your crossbow. 1191 01:14:40,520 --> 01:14:42,560 I'll fucking kill you! 1192 01:14:42,590 --> 01:14:43,660 You already said that. 1193 01:14:53,710 --> 01:14:55,360 Go go go go go go go! 1194 01:15:04,720 --> 01:15:05,980 Hey! They're getting away! 1195 01:15:08,400 --> 01:15:08,850 Whoa whoa whoa. 1196 01:15:09,060 --> 01:15:10,018 It's okay. 1197 01:15:10,020 --> 01:15:10,890 It's cool, it's cool. 1198 01:15:10,920 --> 01:15:12,750 All right, all right, all right. 1199 01:15:24,630 --> 01:15:25,920 Oh, shit. 1200 01:15:58,150 --> 01:15:59,080 No service. 1201 01:15:59,230 --> 01:16:00,520 What the fuck? 1202 01:16:07,753 --> 01:16:09,100 Come on. 1203 01:19:28,264 --> 01:19:29,340 No, no, no, no, no. 1204 01:19:32,150 --> 01:19:34,700 No no no no no no no. 1205 01:19:34,850 --> 01:19:40,310 No. Stop don't, I dont. No no no no no. 1206 01:19:43,587 --> 01:19:45,590 No no no no no no no no. 1207 01:19:51,470 --> 01:19:52,518 Drill baby. 1208 01:19:52,520 --> 01:19:53,750 Drill. Yeah. 1209 01:20:33,330 --> 01:20:34,678 Enough of this bullshit! 1210 01:20:34,680 --> 01:20:36,270 I am done, Sam! 1211 01:20:37,315 --> 01:20:39,585 Not having fun anymore? 1212 01:20:39,900 --> 01:20:41,278 You sure seem to have a lot of fun 1213 01:20:41,280 --> 01:20:42,838 when you were trying to tase me to death. 1214 01:20:42,840 --> 01:20:43,918 That was an accident! 1215 01:20:43,920 --> 01:20:44,780 Oh, bullshit! 1216 01:20:44,900 --> 01:20:47,568 You've been conspiring with these assholes for years trying 1217 01:20:47,570 --> 01:20:48,888 to steal my farm. 1218 01:20:48,890 --> 01:20:50,748 Take away everything we hold dear. 1219 01:20:50,750 --> 01:20:52,458 You killed my son! 1220 01:20:52,460 --> 01:20:54,348 No, you killed your son! 1221 01:20:54,350 --> 01:20:56,478 You tricked me, you son of a bitch! 1222 01:20:56,480 --> 01:20:57,558 Well, you're stupid! 1223 01:21:02,420 --> 01:21:03,285 Get help! 1224 01:21:27,480 --> 01:21:30,750 No, got a gun! 1225 01:21:55,940 --> 01:21:58,600 It's gonna be a hot one in the old town tonight. 1226 01:22:20,050 --> 01:22:21,880 Nice try, asshole. 1227 01:22:23,370 --> 01:22:24,030 Hey, Jubal. 1228 01:22:25,260 --> 01:22:26,220 Fire in the hole! 1229 01:23:06,437 --> 01:23:07,463 Help me! 1230 01:23:07,820 --> 01:23:08,771 Help! 1231 01:23:19,120 --> 01:23:20,920 Help me! 1232 01:23:21,490 --> 01:23:23,470 Please help me! 1233 01:23:28,030 --> 01:23:29,710 Please, I beg you! 1234 01:23:32,690 --> 01:23:35,120 Damnit! Help me! 1235 01:23:39,560 --> 01:23:41,480 What the hell are you doing out here? 1236 01:23:41,930 --> 01:23:42,654 Hold on. 1237 01:23:43,550 --> 01:23:45,618 This doesn't have anything to do with that hayride 1238 01:23:45,620 --> 01:23:46,640 nonsense, does it? 1239 01:23:47,180 --> 01:23:49,466 Yes it's Sam! 1240 01:23:51,830 --> 01:23:53,480 He's gone crazy! 1241 01:23:54,320 --> 01:23:55,790 Goddamn hayride! 1242 01:23:56,150 --> 01:23:57,048 I've been telling him 1243 01:23:57,050 --> 01:23:59,950 to shut this down since Moby Dick was a guppy! 1244 01:24:00,220 --> 01:24:01,690 But does he listen to me? 1245 01:24:01,720 --> 01:24:04,090 No, no, no! 1246 01:24:04,330 --> 01:24:05,830 He's evil. 1247 01:24:07,120 --> 01:24:08,650 You stay put, darling. 1248 01:24:08,890 --> 01:24:10,060 I'll fix this. 1249 01:24:34,422 --> 01:24:38,370 Goddamn trespassers ruining all my corn! 1250 01:24:46,940 --> 01:24:49,040 I don't deserve this. 1251 01:24:58,670 --> 01:25:00,710 Nobody stops the harvest! 1252 01:25:39,120 --> 01:25:39,810 Help! 1253 01:25:42,060 --> 01:25:42,838 Help me! 1254 01:25:42,840 --> 01:25:44,040 Please! Help! 1255 01:25:44,610 --> 01:25:46,140 Help! 1256 01:26:40,476 --> 01:26:42,690 Hey, sorry about Jubal. 1257 01:26:42,870 --> 01:26:45,240 He burned us, so I burned him. 1258 01:26:47,690 --> 01:26:48,588 No worry. 1259 01:26:48,590 --> 01:26:51,498 We've got enough organs to pay off the bank loan, fix the roof 1260 01:26:51,500 --> 01:26:54,080 on the barn, and a little more for a rainy day. 1261 01:26:54,800 --> 01:26:57,560 Best harvest ever. 1262 01:27:00,590 --> 01:27:01,790 Real nice. 1263 01:27:12,010 --> 01:27:12,728 All right. 1264 01:27:12,910 --> 01:27:15,596 I have four hearts, 1265 01:27:16,420 --> 01:27:17,504 three kidneys. 1266 01:27:18,730 --> 01:27:19,360 All right. 1267 01:27:19,510 --> 01:27:20,560 I think we're ready to go. 1268 01:27:20,770 --> 01:27:21,552 Yeah. 1269 01:27:31,930 --> 01:27:33,370 Organic farming. 1270 01:27:37,753 --> 01:27:38,212 Woo! 1271 01:27:40,620 --> 01:27:41,640 Hey! Hey, wait! 1272 01:27:41,940 --> 01:27:43,020 Not that one! 1273 01:27:44,760 --> 01:27:47,070 Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho! 1274 01:27:47,130 --> 01:27:47,548 Uh oh! 1275 01:27:47,550 --> 01:27:48,448 No no no! 1276 01:27:48,450 --> 01:27:49,440 Let her down. 1277 01:27:50,220 --> 01:27:51,960 Nah, this one's a keeper. 1278 01:27:52,650 --> 01:27:54,180 Ooh! Yeah! 1279 01:27:54,750 --> 01:27:56,970 Oh, yeah, baby! 1280 01:28:32,640 --> 01:28:35,670 Okay, cover it up. 1281 01:28:42,273 --> 01:28:44,206 [Glass shattering} 1282 01:29:18,040 --> 01:29:19,720 Smells like victory. 85645