All language subtitles for Family Ties s04e16 Fool For Love

I bet we've been together for a million
years.

And I bet we'll be together for a
million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the
night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did
before.

What would we do, baby, without her?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love
each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

Stretch. Stretch.

Come on, Jen, you're not stretching.

Mom, I can't stretch anymore. I'm not
Gumby.

Look, you're not getting out of this.
You are my running partner when your

out of town.

Well, can't I just drive alongside you?

Let's just go.

Hi. Hi, Alex.

Hey, Alex, you have some food or
something on your lips.

No, I don't.

Yeah, you do. It looks like a little
smudge. Let me wipe it off for you.

No, Mom. Mom, it's not a smudge.

It's mustache.

Oh, no, it's not. Let me wipe it off.
No, Mom.

Mom. Mom.

It's a mustache. Look. Let's see.

Wait a second.

Oh, yeah. I think I do see a couple of
hairs.

Where? See it. See, look, there's one
right there.

Jennifer, would you get out of my light?
Come on.

Mr. Bidney, the principal of the high
school, asked me to deliver this year's

homecoming address at the dance next
week.

And I just thought as an older, more
mature graduate of the school, I should

look the part, that's all.

We didn't mean to make you feel self
-conscious.

Actually, I think your mustache looks
nice.

It's amazing, isn't it? I think it's my
body's way of saying congratulations,

Alex. You're a man.

A hairy man.

Oh, hello there, Alex. Hey, Jim. I've
got some great news.

You've got some dirt there on your lips.

It's not dirt.

It's a mustache.

Oh, wow. Where'd you get it?

Never mind. Okay, never mind. What was
your... what was your great news?

Oh, after much thought and serious
deliberation, I've decided to ask

the homecoming dance.

What about Nick?

Nah, I think I like Mallory better.

Skippy, why do you torture yourself?

Mallory's not going to go to the
homecoming dance with you.

She's in love with Nick.

No, no, no, Alex. Mallory isn't really
in love with Nick.

She's just using him to make me jealous.

I love you, Nick.

Need I say more?

Hello there, Mallory.

Oh, hi.

Uh... Hello, Nick.

How you doing there, buddy?

Huh? Oh!

It's okay.

My mother can sew this arm right back
on.

I gotta go, babe. I'll see you later.
Okay.

Bye. Bye.

Uh, Mallory, wait a minute.

I'd like to ask you something.

What?

Mallory, will you go to the homecoming
dance with me next week?

No, I won't go to the homecoming dance
with you next week.

Thanks for getting back to me so fast.

And so, Harding seniors, I stand before
you as a former graduate, older and

hairier.

No, no, that's not good.

Older, wiser and hairier.

Mom, do I have to go with you?

Honey, your father is out of town. I
need your help. You've got to fill in.

Mom, I don't know how to play bridge.

Neither does your dad.

Okay, okay.

What is so funny?

Nothing, nothing.

It has nothing to do with your mustache.

Really? Okay, okay. I don't know what
you're snickering about. This mustache

flourishing. As a matter of fact, I
think it needs a trim.

Oh, no. Please, you get hair all over.

Skippy, Skippy, Skippy, listen, I'm glad
you're here. I'm working on my speech,

and I think I got a joke here. Let me
bounce this off you.

Since I graduated Harding, I have grown
older, more mature, and a mustache.

What do you think?

Oh.

Okay, I'm not saying it doesn't need
work.

I'm so sorry. I'm not in a laughing
mood. Why, what's the matter, Skip?

Well, yesterday's tragedy is weighing
heavily on me.

But then I'm sure it's depressing you
too, huh?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, it sure is, Skip.

What tragedy are you referring to?

The one where Mallory won't go to the
homecoming dance with me. Oh, yeah,

that, that tragedy. Whoa.

Can't seem to get that out of my mind. I
don't understand it. I can't understand

it.

what could she see besides what I see in
Nick, which is a fine, young, decent,

potentially lethal fella?

Hey, uh, Skippy, Mallory tells me you
asked her to the homecoming dance.

No, no, no, no. I asked her for
directions to the homecoming dance.

Please, Nick, you gotta believe me.

Well, you know, I wouldn't have minded
if she said yes. I mean, then that way I

wouldn't have to take her to this thing.

Come on, Nick, we're gonna have a great
time.

Oh, come on, Mallory, this dance
involves three things I can't stand.

school, wear a tie, and school.

Hey. Hey.

Alex, this is not fair. I've known her
longer. I've loved her longer.

I live close. I'm more convenient.

Women are funny that way, Skip.

I'll ask her what else to the dance.

I mean, when Mallory sees me with
another girl, she'll be so jealous,

me to come back to her. That's a
foolproof plan.

I don't see any flaws in it.

Do you think I'll be able to get someone
else to go to the dance with me?

It's not mathematically impossible.

Skip, there's a whole world of women out
there just waiting for a guy like you.

Great.

Find me one.

Me? Come on, Alex. You just said there
was a whole world of women out there

waiting for a guy like me.

Not our world.

I need your help here.

All right, Skip, okay, I'll help you
with this one, but don't expect any

miracles, all right? I don't, I don't.
All I ask is that she be female and a

human.

I've got a tie in my hands here.

Hey, Skip. Hey, Alex.

Hey, what are you all dressed up for?

I've got a big date.

Well, meet her here.

Wow, you look great. She must be pretty
special.

Oh, yeah. Oh.

She's special, Mrs. Keaton.

What's her name?

I don't know.

Sylvia. Sylvia.

It's kind of a blind date I arranged for
Skippy.

Yeah, we'll probably get married.

Well, when it's right, you know it.

Oh, boy, Alex, I'm real excited about
this.

I mean, Mary's going to see me with
another girl, and she'll be mine.

Now, she's real pretty, huh?

She's, um... Well, she's sort of...

What? Here.

Hello, Sylvia. Hello, Alex.

Sylvia, this is Skippy Handelman. Skippy
Handelman, Sylvia Bogner.

Hello, Miss Bogner. That's Mrs. Bogner.
I'm divorced.

Oh, well, all right. Hello, Mrs.

Sylvia Bogner.

I'm a doctor.

Okay.

Doctor.

Doctor, Mrs.

Sylvia Wagner.

Shall we sit down?

Testing one, two. Testing one, two.
Handelman case number one.

Sylvia's a psychiatrist.

Yes, I come from a long line of
psychiatrists.

Oh, that's coincidence because I come
from a long line of patients.

It's great that you two have so much in
common. Yes, it's really nice of you to

help me out on my project, Skippy.

Oh, no problem.

What project is that?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I assumed Alex had told you I'm writing
for the National Psychiatric Journal.

A study of adolescent social life.

Alex told me you volunteered to let me
use you as a case study.

Alex, can I talk to you privately for a
minute, please?

Would you mind excusing us for a moment,
Mrs.

Doctor?

Doctor, Mrs.

Sylvia. While you two are talking, do
you mind if I use the phone? No, no, no.

Help yourself. It's right over there.
Thank you.

I'd like to phone my babysitter and make
sure she puts my children to bed by 11.

They get to stay up until 11?

What is going on? Look, I'm sorry. I
didn't get a chance to give you all the

information. All the information?

Alex, you've got me going to the
homecoming dance with a divorced mother

studying me for a psychology experiment.

I mean, it's not exactly a dream date.

Skip, you're not the easiest kind of
woman to get a date for, okay?

The only other person that I could find
was in the biology department. She

wanted to dissect you after the date.

Thank you, Alex. Shall we go, Skippy?

Um, yeah. Yeah, sure, Mrs. Bartner.

I'd like to meet somebody.

This is Mrs. Wagner, and she's with me.

Hi, um, I think we met before. You're,
uh, you're Skippy's aunt.

She's my date.

Oh, well, nice to meet you.

Listen, I gotta make my... speech at the
dance night and I can't find my notes.

Have you seen them?

Maybe they're hidden in your mustache.

It's filling in nicely, honey.

Maybe I should just give up on this.

Oh, Alex, you just need to give it more
time.

Yeah, how long have you been growing it
now?

Eight months.

Hi,

Nick. Hey, can I come in? I don't want
anybody I know to see me wearing this

tie. Hurry, get inside.

Hey, Alex.

Hey. Got some kind of insect on your
upper lip there. Here, let me kill it.

No, Nick. It's not an insect.

It's a mustache.

Oh. Hey, can I kill it anyway?

I'll let Mallory know you're here.

Nick. Hey.

Where are the Keedons?

Yeah, they'll be back.

What have you done to them?

They're all upstairs.

I see.

Listen, I want to talk to you about
Mallory.

I never touched her, Nick, I swear.

We're just neighbors.

We're not even close neighbors. Look,
you can't even see my house from here.

Take it easy, Skippy. Relax.

Okay.

I'm very relaxed now.

I swear.

You and her are good friends, huh?

Well, I am.

She hates me.

No, no, no,

no, no, no. I wouldn't say that's true.

Listen, you and her have had some good
times together, haven't you?

A few.

I used to like it when she would babysit
for me when I was little. It was great.

She'd let me watch TV, read me stories.

She'd let me stay up late. Hey, I
thought you two were the same age.

We are.

So, look, you know, I get the idea you
kind of like Mallory. All right, look,

Nick, maybe I used to like Mallory a
little bit, but now I'm very much in

with Mrs. Bodner.

Yeah. Well, you know, just the same, I
hope the fact that Mallory and I go out

together hasn't caused you any bad
feelings or nothing.

Not a bit.

That's good, you know, because I like
you. You're a good guy.

Oh, Mallory, you look just okay at this
moment.

Thanks. Well, Nick, what do you think?

I think you are going to be the best
-looking girl in the place tonight.

Let's get a picture. Oh, no, no. I've
got to take this tie off. No, don't.

I'll get it. I'll get it.

Ah, hello, son.

Good evening, Alex.

Oh, hello, Mrs. Wagner.

You're looking ravishing this evening.

Thank you, Skippy.

Shall we go?

I have a car waiting.

My dad's going to drive us.

Can I have your attention, please?

Well, welcome to Homecoming.

And to begin the festivities...

I take great pleasure in introducing the
salutatorian of the class of 1984, our

homecoming speaker, Alex P. Keaton.

Thank you, Mr.

Bidney. You know, as I made my way here
this evening, I was reflecting on how

much has changed in our world since I
left Harding.

Mostly my face.

Are you having a good time, Skippy?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I really am.

No, I'm not. I'm miserable.

Wide mood swings.

Look over there. Look at Mallory and
Nick.

He's got his arm around her. She's
whispering in his ear.

They're having a great time.

Yeah, isn't that nice?

Mrs. Botner, I'm in love with Mallory.

I've been in love with her ever since I
was six months old.

Sure, some of you may ask. Ask, why a
mustache?

Why not a beard?

A goatee?

Or perhaps some outrageous eye -catching
sideburns?

Mrs. Bodger, please, you've got to help
me. You study adolescent social

behavior. Well, what would an adolescent
do in this situation?

Skippy, you are an adolescent.

I know, but I'm still in the middle of
adolescence. You know how it turns out.

The value, Skippy, is don't deny the
feelings you have.

Don't be afraid to act on them.

Act on my feelings?

That makes a lot of sense.

Thank you.

Oh, it's been my pleasure, Skippy.
You've been a fascinating subject.

So much nicer than those white mice I
usually work with.

Thank you.

Sure, facial hair may not be the answer.

To all the world. world's problems but
we must start somewhere.

Thank you.

I'm cutting in.

I said I'm cutting in, Nick.

Nick, now.

Skippy, what are you doing?

Nick, Mallory is my girl, and I'm
willing to fight for her.

Because I've known her longer than you,
and if it wasn't for you, she'd be with

me here at this dance. Now, these are my
feelings, and I'm acting on them.

The psychiatric community is going to
back me up on this.

Skippy, I don't want to fight. Yeah, but
I do. I do.

Hey, hey, Nick. What's going on? I don't
know. I think he really wants to dance.

Look, Skippy.

I got him, Nick. Whoa.

Skippy. Skippy, here.

What's happening here? Break this up.
Break this.

Break it up. Break it up.

Handleman, for a man with four overdue
library books, you're treading on very

thin ice.

Caden, not you.

I'm sorry, sir. I don't know what got
into me.

Must be the mustache.

Your dad always lets me wimp.

All right, okay, that's the last time I
go anywhere near you, you, or Skippy.

What happened?

One minute I'm talking to Mr.

Bitney, and the next minute I'm
refereeing a fight between Skippy and

What was the fight about?

It was over Mallory.

Can you believe that?

Are you and Skippy okay?

Yeah, we're all right. Luckily, we fell
on top of Alex or somebody could have

gotten hurt.

Well, I'm glad it could be of service.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go
upstairs and shave this mustache off.

Huh? See, I told you it was a mustache.

Can we at least take a photo of it
before I shave it off?

Oh, good idea. I'll go get the Zoom
lens.

What could Skip even thinking?

I never thought he'd do something like
that.

Hey, don't be so hard on the guy, Mal. I
mean, he almost got himself killed

tonight because he cares about you.

You know, he's nice in an annoying way.

Ah, so you do like him.

You know, you should tell him that.

Maybe.

It's kind of comforting to have him
around, you know.

He's like an old sock.

Ah, you see, you know, I think he'd like
to hear that.

Oh.

Hi, Nick.

Hey.

Look, I'm sorry about tonight. I hope I
didn't hurt you too badly. Hey, hey,

hey, no hard feelings.

Look, I'm going to go in the other room
so you two can talk alone.

Okay.

That's very nice of you, Nick. Thank
you.

Sure.

Did you have a good time at the dance?

Great.

Um, where's Mrs. Bogner?

Well, she was getting a little hung up
on me, so I had to cut her loose.

I'm sorry.

No, Mallory, I'm the one who's sorry.

You've been rejecting me for 18 years,
and I just keep on making a fool of

myself, hoping something's going to
change.

Has it been that long?

Yeah, and it's time I grew up.

When did this happen tonight?

It made me realize that I've been living
in a dream world.

Do you know that I used to sit around
just thinking about what it would be

if we got married?

Married?

Yeah. Yeah, I had the whole thing
planned out.

A big ceremony at night, under a big
tent.

Like a circus.

Exactly. But instead of walking down the
aisle, I get shot out of a cannon

toward the altar.

And then, uh...

We'd go on our honeymoon.

We'd go to Paris, where we'd spend our
evenings dining alone on the banks of

Nile.

Can't be.

The Nile's in London.

Whatever.

And then we'd come back and buy a house
with all the money I'd make for my job

as a seatbelt tester.

stop to think that maybe i'm not the one
for you i mean i'm really not as

wonderful as you think i am in fact i
think i've been pretty mean to you over

the years hey remember that time we were
two years old i tried to glue

you to your playhouse door do i remember
mallory that was the greatest thing

that ever happened to me don't you
understand when you pay attention to me

shows me that you care

Skippy, I do care, but come on, we're 18
years old.

If you and I are going to continue to be
friends, I think we have to start

dealing with each other like adults.

You're absolutely right.

I know.

Look, Skippy, let's make an agreement,
okay?

I promise to stop being mean to you if
you promise to stop treating me in a

silly, childish, romantic way, okay?
From now on, we'll just have normal

conversations.

Yeah, sure. I'll give it a shot.

Okay, let's try it right now.

Hello, Skippy. How are you?

I'm very fine.

Thank you for asking, Mallory.

Um, how are your parents?

They're very well.

And will you marry me?

Skippy, I need more practice.

I'm not very good at being normal.

Uh, you... You gotta give me more time.

I will. If you promise you'll keep
drawing.

I will.

I promise.

But occasionally, just for old time's
sake, wouldn't it be all right if I came

by and bugged you and you glued me to
something?

Wouldn't have it any other way.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.