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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,440
That's my brother's new business venture
I was telling you about.
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00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:04,100
Shit,
3
00:00:04,460 --> 00:00:06,300
look at the tail on her.
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00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:07,740
Tail on her.
5
00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:09,060
Tail on her.
6
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:11,000
He made this all happen. Me?
7
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,660
Yeah. You the man.
8
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:18,300
Waitress, can you give these drinks to
those guys over there, Dan?
9
00:00:18,940 --> 00:00:20,280
They look a little parched.
10
00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:22,900
No, it's your thing.
11
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:24,400
Bob!
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00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:41,520
Hello, everybody.
13
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,280
Thank you for coming tonight.
14
00:00:43,940 --> 00:00:47,760
As you know, there has been a problem
with society.
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00:00:48,940 --> 00:00:55,620
Pot is legal, and there is a plethora of
money floating around that cannot be
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00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:56,920
federally insured.
17
00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:03,820
One such company, the Weed Founders
Credit Union, has made a name for
18
00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:04,819
themselves.
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A fucking credit union.
20
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How can we allow a credit union to
tarnish the good banking name with state
21
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legal drug money?
22
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Oh, it started off as a joke.
23
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Now, every single pot dealer and grower
is part of this bank.
24
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Since they started two months ago, they
have amassed $100 billion.
25
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That's incredible.
26
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I'm really surprised at that. Senator
Jobe.
27
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But I met with them this morning, and
they want to give money, a lot of money,
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00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:53,800
to the children's orphanage.
29
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The orphanage?
30
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They don't care about the orphanage.
They just want you to think they care
31
00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,320
the orphanage.
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They are drug dealers.
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Senator Jobe and everyone else in the
room, please open your eyes.
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Do you want to be known?
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As the senator who sat idly by and
watched America decay because of the
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00:02:21,130 --> 00:02:22,850
legalization of marijuana?
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00:02:24,590 --> 00:02:30,050
Do you know how many people have fought
and died in this country to make this
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the greatest country in the world?
39
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My family has served in this country
with their time and their lives since
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beginning of this country.
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I am Thomas Jefferson's great, great,
great, great, great, great
42
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And he would have said that you are in
the wrong.
43
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We give this country money.
44
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We make the economy grow.
45
00:02:55,020 --> 00:03:01,460
Everyone has better lives because of it.
Because I lend them money or hold on to
46
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:02,460
it for them.
47
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:07,440
But you are a private bank and make the
government pay you for its money that we
48
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:08,440
let you make.
49
00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:15,890
Senator Hawaii, you're missing the
point. Oh, really? Marijuana is bad.
50
00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:20,710
Hold your comments for one more minute.
51
00:03:22,010 --> 00:03:28,550
Marijuana is so bad, it is so evil, that
I've brought you tapes, documentary
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00:03:28,550 --> 00:03:35,170
proof from pot dispensaries all around
the state of these deviant behaviors,
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00:03:35,490 --> 00:03:36,550
of these mongrels.
54
00:03:38,090 --> 00:03:39,710
Before you ask...
55
00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,220
Yes, it is as real as Miracle Whip.
56
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Debbie, please roll the tape.
57
00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:58,500
Are you okay?
58
00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:01,880
Yes.
59
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,740
Rob, now that I'm in your arms.
60
00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,460
Oh, she's okay. She's a little shaken
up, but... Yeah.
61
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,600
I love you, Rob.
62
00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:18,720
After this, can we be together? I told
you. I'm going to take you to Red
63
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,120
Lobster. Do you really mean it, Rob?
64
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Of course I mean it.
65
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Okay.
66
00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:28,020
Let's do this, Rob.
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00:04:28,260 --> 00:04:29,260
Okay.
68
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:35,780
After you hit play, go over there and
give that hag poison in her drink.
69
00:04:36,020 --> 00:04:37,020
Okay?
70
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,660
Whatever you want, my hunk of a man.
71
00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,160
Okay.
72
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Let's do it.
73
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Debbie, Debbie, Debbie, Debbie.
74
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,940
Um, silent button, Debbie.
75
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,820
Yeah, that one.
76
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,440
Show me.
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You're crazy.
78
00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:45,220
Take it easy, kid.
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00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:47,840
I just want to talk to you.
80
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,960
What you are about to see may not be
suitable for young audiences.
81
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:28,220
The events you are about to witness may
keep you awake at night. They may numb
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00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:32,580
your nerves, or they might make you do
what is right.
83
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:39,240
The American tragedies of Orville,
Maxwell, a top -top, Vance, Joseph,
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00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:45,360
Mary, and a young Jesus are the saddest
events to have taken place since the
85
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,360
death of Alexander the Great.
86
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,120
And here are their stories.
87
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:58,860
Young child geniuses who got their
degrees from Harvard, Oxford, and MIT by
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age of 15 took a dare to buy some
marijuana from a local dispensary and
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00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:10,140
to dispel the rumors that the cannabis
plant is an evil of this earth, as was
90
00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:13,960
taught to them last semester at Eli
Lilly University.
91
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On this dare, the boys brought with them
a cameraman to document their findings
92
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:23,540
and went to the most secluded place in
New York City, the South Street Seaport,
93
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where the fish market is long dead and
so is its economy.
94
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They figured it would be vacant and
secluded, so if something did go wrong
95
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:37,360
its supposed illicit effects, nobody
would get harmed, except maybe the
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00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:41,760
cameraman. But he signed his waivers and
was ready to go into the battlefield.
97
00:07:42,220 --> 00:07:47,440
But as it went... Sally Sunshine took a
shortcut through the neighborhood to
98
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:52,560
pick her triplets up from the free
school for underprivileged families when
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00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:56,500
boys saw her and could not contain their
young loins anymore.
100
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,760
Hey, baby, I got a fine wine you want to
taste.
101
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,160
Come here and give me some sugar.
102
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,600
I love apples!
103
00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:04,780
Help! Get away from me!
104
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:11,320
The boys chased her through the streets
until they trapped her in an alley and
105
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:12,520
did well.
106
00:08:13,469 --> 00:08:17,030
Let's just say she didn't get to pick
her kids up on time.
107
00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:21,030
No, stop it, please!
108
00:08:21,430 --> 00:08:24,510
That pot was great. Makes me feel
strong.
109
00:08:26,870 --> 00:08:31,490
Yeah, I love that. It's legal now and we
can have sex with any girl we want.
110
00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:34,309
Me, dude, hurry!
111
00:08:35,049 --> 00:08:37,169
No, no, stay away, please!
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who some dubbed a young abraham lincoln
got stuck on his incurable and unhealthy
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habit of smoking the pot one day while
looking for books and how to become a
114
00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:05,190
better american vance came upon a hidden
black market book shoved into a corner
115
00:09:05,190 --> 00:09:11,350
by who knows who which intrigued him to
no end he couldn't stop reading it one
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00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:15,870
simple phrase and one simple image gave
him ideas of grandeur
117
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:34,060
His dreams of becoming president one day
all came to an end as he entered the
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00:09:34,060 --> 00:09:37,560
most heavily armed and government
-protected building in America.
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00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:51,520
Killing innocents, spilling blood until
one lucky shot got him falling down into
120
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,220
the hands of AIG.
121
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:09,720
Vance's story has more behind it, which
makes it all the more disturbing.
122
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:13,580
He left behind a grieving widow with ten
children.
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00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:18,940
They don't really understand that they
are not going to see their father for
124
00:10:18,940 --> 00:10:23,900
rest of their lives, as they are lined
up on the streets with their little hat
125
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:29,800
inside, begging for another fair chance
of life.
126
00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:33,000
It makes me cry just to think about it.
127
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:43,910
Then there was the story of Joseph,
Mary, and a young Jesus.
128
00:10:44,470 --> 00:10:48,530
Not the ones from the Bible, but close
enough to a modern -day revelation.
129
00:10:48,870 --> 00:10:53,770
What would have turned into another
savior was lost to the unacceptable
130
00:10:53,770 --> 00:10:57,970
through the devices of slack gun control
law and legalized marijuana.
131
00:10:59,130 --> 00:11:03,550
Joseph could not bear it any longer. His
thoughts began to stray.
132
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:10,460
He even began to believe that his son
was not immaculately conceived through
133
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:11,520
Lord from up above.
134
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,680
Jealous thoughts ran through his head as
his wonderful family enjoyed themselves
135
00:11:17,680 --> 00:11:19,720
playing a game and missing him.
136
00:11:20,020 --> 00:11:22,020
Oh, not for long, buddy.
137
00:11:23,220 --> 00:11:24,220
Woo -hoo!
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00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:26,100
Free parking!
139
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,600
In your face!
140
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:38,740
Joseph smoked a bomb, took out his
assault rifle he got from the local gun
141
00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:43,100
store, and, well... No, that's not fair!
I was just about to beat you!
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00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:44,700
I'll spare Monopoly!
143
00:11:46,020 --> 00:11:51,220
...ended the Virgin Mary's and the young
Jesus' lives prematurely.
144
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:58,400
Could all of this have been avoided?
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00:11:58,660 --> 00:11:59,660
You bet.
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00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:05,000
If pot wasn't in his system, he and his
family would be here today proclaiming
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00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,220
the secrets of life.
148
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:13,640
These three tragic and now prolific
stories of the 20th century will stand
149
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:19,520
infamy, such as JFK's assassination, the
former chairman of NASDAQ's fall,
150
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:24,260
Bernie Madoff, and the fatal crash of
Princess Diana.
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00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:31,380
Because of the ordinary, who weren't
able to become extraordinary, died by
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00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:37,020
hands of senators who legalized the most
vicious plant this century has ever
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00:12:37,020 --> 00:12:38,020
known.
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00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:44,960
Do what's right. Make pot illegal.
Because you are the future of this
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00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,040
Godspeed.
156
00:12:52,620 --> 00:12:54,140
Harder! Harder!
157
00:13:03,540 --> 00:13:09,460
Shit! So you see, my good people,
deviant mind produced from deviant
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00:13:11,940 --> 00:13:12,940
Here it is.
159
00:13:13,340 --> 00:13:14,400
There's no doubt about it.
160
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:19,720
Sorry, can you hold your questions for
another minute, please?
161
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,100
I don't have a question. It's more of a
comment.
162
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:26,850
Can you please hold your comments until
I'm off stage? Thank you.
163
00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:46,190
So, as I was saying, Bob, what are you
doing here?
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00:13:48,390 --> 00:13:49,390
Take it easy.
165
00:13:49,770 --> 00:13:50,770
Fuck you, man.
166
00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:55,130
Hey, Senator OG, nice to see you.
167
00:13:55,390 --> 00:13:56,410
Nice to see you, Bob.
168
00:13:57,590 --> 00:14:01,450
Anyways, you guys don't have to listen
to my brother. Everything was
169
00:14:01,490 --> 00:14:02,490
and it's a lie.
170
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,910
Fucking stop it. You're going to kill my
business.
171
00:14:06,230 --> 00:14:07,810
Trying to ruin your business?
172
00:14:08,110 --> 00:14:14,250
How about how you're trying to sabotage
all the good weed dealers and make them
173
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:16,250
illegit? Wow.
174
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,130
That's quite a statement.
175
00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:19,590
Unbelievable.
176
00:14:19,930 --> 00:14:21,270
He's lying.
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00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,200
My brother smokes the weed also, so you
can't believe a word he says.
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00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:30,300
My good people, marijuana does not make
you do bad things.
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00:14:30,940 --> 00:14:31,940
Artistic things?
180
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,720
Yes. Lazy things?
181
00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:36,500
Yes. But it does not make you violent.
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00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,160
Is anybody listening to me?
183
00:14:40,700 --> 00:14:43,440
Senator OG, come on. You know about it.
184
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It's true.
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00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:46,940
It's...
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00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:55,920
See? He must have been smoking the gun.
Oh, shit. His heart failed.
187
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,580
There goes his narcolepsy again. Debbie,
please escort this charlatan out of
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00:14:59,580 --> 00:15:04,120
here. If you guys believe anything this
guy is saying, you're a sheep and you
189
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,380
need to be brought back to the farm. You
look like a fool.
190
00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:07,480
It's ridiculous.
191
00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:10,340
Rob, you call that a documentary?
192
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,940
Since when does a documentary have
someone else's point of view?
193
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,160
Answer that, Rob.
194
00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:17,900
Answer that.
195
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:20,300
That is a good question, Robert.
196
00:15:20,910 --> 00:15:23,970
How does a documentary have a woman's
point of view?
197
00:15:24,230 --> 00:15:29,430
The documentarian really cares about his
work and is very passionate about it.
198
00:15:29,570 --> 00:15:33,230
When a woman is getting raped, what kind
of filth do you employ?
199
00:15:38,490 --> 00:15:39,490
Okay, he's right.
200
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:44,810
I'm lying. It's a total fraud. But it
really happens, but I couldn't really
201
00:15:44,810 --> 00:15:47,830
find... We've had enough, Mr. Robert.
202
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,760
We will keep our vote for no
prohibition.
203
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,420
Okay, thank you.
204
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:17,560
I guess it didn't go so well.
205
00:16:18,990 --> 00:16:24,170
Maybe next time, I know what'll cheer
you up.
206
00:16:26,890 --> 00:16:28,710
There's nothing that can cheer me up,
Debbie.
207
00:16:28,950 --> 00:16:34,250
My brother is stupid, and he's younger,
and he's beating me. I'm supposed to be
208
00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:35,690
the evil, maniacal one.
209
00:16:36,510 --> 00:16:40,210
How about we finish what we started
earlier?
210
00:16:40,470 --> 00:16:47,310
My super rich guy pal of a guy who makes
me so wet. What are you thinking about?
211
00:16:47,550 --> 00:16:49,030
All money, son.
212
00:16:53,050 --> 00:16:54,050
Oh, that's great.
213
00:16:59,990 --> 00:17:02,470
Oh, yeah. That always makes me feel
better. Yeah, right there.
214
00:17:02,830 --> 00:17:06,810
Yeah. Oh, right there. Oh, no, you
don't. Mm -hmm.
215
00:17:07,869 --> 00:17:12,210
Yeah, I know you like it. I know you
like it. Oh, God. I like it. Oh, God.
216
00:17:12,730 --> 00:17:13,849
More. More.
217
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:21,660
Let's fix it once and for all.
17070
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