All language subtitles for growing_pains_s07e18_the_five_fingers_of_ben

Attention, people.

Those interested in testifying at Nurse
Downer's parole hearing should report to

the office.

All right, there she is. The time to
strike is now.

Nothing weird hanging out of my nose?

Just the usual.

What? That's it. I'm not going. Just get
over there and talk to her.

Hi, Becca.

Hi, Ben. Listen. Hey, four eyes.

Did I say that you could talk to Becca?

Actually, my name's Ben.

Shut up.

You know, I don't like your attitude.

I don't like the way you talk. I don't
even like the way you breathe.

Less nasal, more nasal, a little more
through the mouth.

In fact, the only thing I do like about
you is your cap.

Thanks, I just got it. Give it to me.

What? Take it off your head and put it
in my hand by the time I count to three.

One, two...

Chicken, why don't you cluck?

Look, Razor, I know you're a tough guy,
but there are certain things I will not

do.

Uh, so what are we talking here? Like
Rhode Island Red, which is kind of a...

Like a Jersey Giant, which is kind of...

Thank you.

I told you to get in the bath.

I don't want to.

Okay, Daddy, whatever you say.

Wait a minute. She ignores me totally
and you just clear your throat?

What is this, some kind of psychological
minimalist type of thing?

No, no, just kind of, you know, choking
on a chiclet kind of thing.

That's it. I've made my decision and
you're not talking me out of it. I want

gun.

Forget it.

Okay, you talk me out of it. Here's plan
B. I want to take karate lessons.

Karate? Why?

You guys remember my brand new $27 cap?

Well, this punk at school named Razor
made me give it to him in front of Becca

and everybody.

Come on, Ben. You've had to deal with
bullies.

$27 cap?

This kid is dangerous.

He is certified USDA mean.

Well, I think you should report this to
the vice principal.

A kid tried that last year. Now he's
living in Nevada under an assumed name.

There's got to be a better way to handle
this, Ben. Why don't you just go...

What's so bad about karate?

I mean, it's philosophical, it's
graceful, and it teaches you how to put

foot through somebody's brain.

Ben, if that's why you want to learn
karate, you can forget it.

Fine. Then let me go look in my closet
to see if I have anything else in razor

size.

Now, wait a minute, Ben.

Maggie, maybe it's not such a bad idea
to let him take a few karate lessons. No

way. Well, you don't know what it's
like. You've never had somebody bully

around at school.

Well, as a matter of fact, D .D. Robotho
tried to keep me from using the girls'

bathroom my entire junior year.

So what did you do?

I gave up liquids during school hours.

See, he gave in.

That's not the way you want Ben to solve
this. Well, I know that, Jason, but I

also don't want him putting his foot
through someone's brain.

Well, right now, someone's brain is
inside Ben's cap.

I don't like violence any more than you
do, but we're both going to feel better

if he knows how to protect himself.

Yeah, but I just wish there was some way
he could reason with this boy.

Maggie, it is my experience there are
two kinds of people, those you reason

and those named Razor.

Mike, I really appreciate you taking the
time to help me sell my car.

Oh, how can I not help? Dwight, you
could be the man that marries Carolyn

takes her far, far away.

I'm just thanking you in advance.

Excuse me. I'm here about the car. Oh,
yes.

I'm telling you, they broke the mold
when they made this baby.

Oh, I sure hope so. It's got a faulty
heater hose. The fan belt's worn out. It

doesn't start in the rain. The starter
kind of goes...

And when you turn the radio on, the
lights go off.

Good luck.

Wait. What are you doing?

Telling the truth.

To sell a used car?

Mike, you aren't suggesting that I lie,
are you? No, I'm ordering you to lie.

Mike, I've only lied once in my whole
life. I told my mother that I washed my

hands for dinner when I hadn't.

The words were barely out of my mouth
when a very large piece of Skylab came

crashing down through a roof.

It was an omen, Mike.

Okay, Chicken Little.

Okay, we won't call it lying. We'll just
call it accentuating the positive.

You know, try to think of the good
things you can say about the car with a

conscience. If you get hit from behind,
there's a pretty good chance it won't

explode.

Hey, you see that? That's how hard it
is. Oh.

Okay. But I will not lie.

Dwight, I'm with you 110%. Okay, now
let's talk about it while we roll back

odometer.

Okay, Ben, we have to go back to get
your uniform.

I'll be right there.

People say you are looking around to
find me. Correct. I hate you with great

hatred.

While you are looking for us, we have
decimated your little town.

Prepare for a very painful death.

Silence! I am tired of this snappy
-patter.

Let us fight and make snappy -patter.

You want to challenge me?

Have you ever seen a fight between Cobra
and Mongoose?

Uh, just Mike and my dad when the rent's
due.

Same principle.

Attack, counterattack.

Get ready. We're going to go faster now.
Go.

One, two, three.

Master Sim, please. You might hurt him.

Oh, Mom.

Ben, take a break.

I'm sorry, Master Sim, but this is all
much too violent.

Karate is not about violence. Silence,
Mr. Seaver.

Karate is about control.

Control of yourself first, and then
control of someone who may be trying to

you. Look, Mom, no one's getting hurt.
Come on, I'll show you.

No, the only hand -to -hand combat I do
is at the Macy's Whitesale.

Mom, I'll just be showing you how I'm
learning to defend myself.

Is that all right, Master Sim?

Yes, but remember, your mother has had
no lessons, so block or blow it, but

don't count a punch.

Okay, Mom.

So try and punch me.

Oh.

Mom, a punch, not a slap.

Come on.

Good footwork, Ben.

Okay, Mom, now really let me have it
this time.

Okay, Ben, if you're sure.

I really think that if you keep up this
karate and you study real hard for the

next three years, you could take Mo.

After that, who knows?

Grandma? Carol?

Probably most of the girls at school.

My mother clocks me. My brother makes
fun of me.

How much worse can this get?

I see you are depressed and humiliated.

Oh, please, Mom. Don't make fun of me.

Don't be silly, little blonde boy. I
would never do such a thing. Unless I

help, of course, from family and
friends.

You are so very weak.

I have replaced your CDs with...
Pericomo records.

And painted your guitar!

and put new sheets on your bed decorated
with tiny hearts and flowers.

Come on, you guys.

I grow weary of these attacks. Let his
friends at

school attack him.

No, please, Mom, don't make me go to
school.

Have no fear, little blonde boy. We
shall send you to school with a fearsome

bodyguard.

and finish your breakfast.

Mom, I made my decision. I'm quitting
karate.

You want to quit?

Yeah. I'd quit school, but it's illegal.

I'd quit the family, but I'd starve.

Look, you mind if I stay home from
school today? I'm not feeling so good.

I guess it's all right.

Thanks.

Well, it certainly looks fine.

I'll take it.

a couple of problems that you should...
Say, Dwight, do you happen to have the

same craving for some port wine cheese
balls as I do?

Why, yes, I do. I thought it was just
me.

Why don't you go whip us up some and
I'll close the deal. Sure.

What are these problems he's talking
about?

Oh, nothing, man. That's just Dwight. He
happens to think that we're not

charging enough.

But since when is selling a car about
making money?

It's about people helping people, right?

Isn't that sweet?

Say, what's that black puddle under
there?

Oh, that's perfectly normal.

It's, well, just the same way that your
body sweats, a car releases moisture.

That's a sign of health.

Well, my friends say I should have it
checked by a mechanic,

but... You have such an honest face.

Shall I make the check out for you?

Yes.

No.

Yes.

No, no. Man, it's a rolling death trap.
Quick, get out of here before I sell it

to you again.

Well, well, well. You told the truth. I
didn't mean to. It just slipped out.

Cheese ball?

Doofus.

Oh, sorry.

Well, Mike, I guess you're right.

We'll never sell the car by telling the
truth.

Oh, yeah?

Well, I got an idea.

Dwight, you pop the hood. I'm going to
get my tools. You and I are going to fix

this car.

That's the trunk.

Oh, my God, where have I been putting
the oil?

Okay, all right, we'll deal with Ben
your way. Trust me, Jason, it'll work.

Last time you said that, we had to get
married.

Oh, coming.

Hey, Dad.

Your mom says you want to give up karate
lessons.

Look, Dad, I tried, I failed. My life is
ruined. Oh, come on. That eye's going

to be fine.

There's no reason why you can't go right
back to karate class.

Jason, what are you talking about? The
next person he fights might not love him

like I do.

Well, I don't want our son to give up
just because he got hurt, Maggie.

Jason, he wasn't just hurt. He was taken
out, flattened, destroyed by his mommy.

I'm sorry, Peaky. Does it still hurt?

No. I've made peace with being a four
-eyed geek whose butt was kicked by his

mother.

Ben, look, I don't want you to quit, and
I'm going to tell you why.

Oh, please, Dad, no pep talk.

Oh, come on. I mean, you've been down
before, Ben, and every time you've been

down before, you reach down deeper for
some of that heck -I -can -do -it -Sever

spirit, right?

I thought you were going to give me a
pep talk.

What about the cap thing?

Oh, it's very simple. From now on, we
dress him in plain generic clothes that

other kid would be caught dead in.

Jason, let him quit.

Oh, we still gotta eat the cons of those
karate lessons. Chrissy can take them.

Honey, we should just face it. It's
obvious that Ben doesn't have the

the drive, or the ability.

God knows he's a klutz.

Okay, okay.

I'm starting to feel that, heck, I can
do with fever spirit.

Mom, Dad, I'm going back to karate.

And you know, You guys used to be much
better at this good cop, bad cop thing.

So, aren't you glad you trusted me? Both
times.

Because it could.

It's kind of old.

How's she holding up?

Just like brand new, because I have, and
may a satellite strike me if I'm lying,

not only tuned it up, but I have changed
the brakes, I've checked the alignment,

fixed the fuel pump, I have replaced all
the hoses and preset all the radio

stations. Sounds great.

Will you accept a personal check?

No.

Even with two forms of ID?

No.

All right, I'll offer you cash.

No.

We're not selling.

Dwight, we're not what?

Mike, I only wanted to sell it because
the road is... And now it's gone. It's

going to... And my heart's going to...
Dwight.

Will you join me for a minute in this
time zone?

Mike, thanks to you, I love my car
again.

And we're not selling.

Why, you cheese -eating, tangled
-haired, medieval moron! I put over $500

labor into this hunk of junk.

Thank you.

Hey, Ben, looking fresh.

Thanks, babe.

Wow, it's Becca.

Finally, I'm ready to talk to her. If
Becca's around, so is Razor.

Don't worry about her. I know what to
do.

Hi, Becca.

Hi, Ben.

Hi, geek.

My name's Ben.

Oh, that's right.

You had it written inside my new hat.

Look, I don't want any trouble.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you know what I want?

I want that nice new jacket you got on.

Okay, he's facing three quarters to the
left.

That leaves him wide open for a fake
jab, step him back, kick to the rib, and

I'd finish him off with a palm thrust to
the nose.

What are you staring at, geek? Am I
going to have to bust you one?

I said give it to me now.

Somebody

get

the nurse quick. This guy's hurt.

What are you staring at, geek? Am I
going to have to bust you one?

I said give it to me now.

No.

I'm not giving you this jacket or
anything else ever again.

Whoa, big man, huh? Big words.

All right, geek, come on, let's throw.

Show me what you got, tough guy, huh?

Come on, let's go for it right here,
right now. Go for it.

He's wide open. The dude will never see
it coming.

Control. Don't touch him unless you have
to.

Come on, geek.

Let's go for it, huh? Huh?

I'm not gonna fight you.

Did you hear that? He said he's not
gonna fight me, huh?

What am I supposed to do, huh? Stand on
his feet and use him like a punching

bag?

Look at the dude. He's frozen.

Come on, baby. Let's get out of here.

Man, you were amazing.

Thanks. I came real close to getting
ugly.

Now, speaking of ugly, you can forget
about Beck if she's not worth it.

Excuse me, Ben.

Yeah?

I really like the way you handled that
creep.

Thanks.

Save you a seat at lunch?

Sure.

I'm always hungry.