Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:06,100
Tiffany Ching at the Suffolk County
Courthouse, where the trial of Oliver
2
00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:07,100
continued today.
3
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:13,220
Martin, the noted jockey, was sworn in,
then testified that he did indeed throw
4
00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:18,840
the brisky handicap, but only because
his horse, Bone Weary, told him to do
5
00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:25,380
The defense's star witness, psychiatrist
Jason Seaver, testified that Martin was
6
00:00:25,380 --> 00:00:26,880
indeed insane.
7
00:00:28,450 --> 00:00:31,310
After his testimony, Dr. Seaver offers
this comment.
8
00:00:31,830 --> 00:00:32,990
Dr. Seaver, do you... No comment.
9
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,169
No comment.
10
00:00:34,170 --> 00:00:36,670
No comment. No comment. No comment.
11
00:00:37,090 --> 00:00:41,470
I can make Daddy walk backwards like a
duck.
12
00:00:41,710 --> 00:00:45,330
Chrissy, it's not a toy. It's for grown
-ups. Right.
13
00:00:45,590 --> 00:00:47,790
And besides, I can make him cha -cha.
14
00:00:51,450 --> 00:00:53,990
Do it again. I want to see it. Okay,
okay. Watch this.
15
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:57,960
My poor baby.
16
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,240
I can't wait till those glasses of yours
come in.
17
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:02,020
Oh, they're in. The doctor called
yesterday.
18
00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:06,540
Actually, it was another doctor. Um, Dr.
19
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:07,960
Pepper.
20
00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:10,540
Hello, everybody.
21
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:11,820
Hi, honey.
22
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,180
You're on TV.
23
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:17,600
Yes. Oh, Jason, we're all so proud of
you. Well, get ready to be even more
24
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,740
proud. Guess what I was offered because
of all this trial publicity?
25
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,640
A column on the Long Island Sentinel.
26
00:01:23,960 --> 00:01:25,900
Oh, hi. Yes. Great job.
27
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:34,080
Right, that... Well, sweetheart, it's
kind of hard to explain if you haven't
28
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:35,080
read a newspaper.
29
00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:36,900
But some of us would still like to know.
30
00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:43,340
Well, it's... Then it's a series of
articles, all on one theme. Mine will
31
00:01:43,340 --> 00:01:44,340
with psychology.
32
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,500
I'll help people with their fears and
their hopes and their dreams and their
33
00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:49,400
fantasies. Kind of like a 900 number.
34
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:52,380
What's a 900 number?
35
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:57,100
Well, it's kind of expensive, but... I
have no idea.
36
00:01:57,850 --> 00:02:01,230
I mean, I'd never pay two dollars a
minute to talk to some girl in a bikini.
37
00:02:02,810 --> 00:02:05,890
Hey, kids, let's go bake a hot apple
pie.
38
00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:13,190
Well, I think your column sounds great,
Dad.
39
00:02:13,590 --> 00:02:17,030
It's just too bad your other children
aren't mature enough to appreciate it.
40
00:02:17,550 --> 00:02:20,030
Ben, you moron, you taped over Bambi!
41
00:02:21,930 --> 00:02:25,070
Jason, tell me more about your column.
Well, I worked it all out over the phone
42
00:02:25,070 --> 00:02:27,450
with the editor, a guy named Doug
Stanton.
43
00:02:27,750 --> 00:02:31,650
Huh. Doug, if you give me the penny,
I'll pinch it, Stanton.
44
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,310
Well, I didn't catch his middle name.
45
00:02:34,190 --> 00:02:38,570
Oh, I worked for him years ago. When it
comes to paying writers, he can be
46
00:02:38,570 --> 00:02:43,230
frugal. You gotta get up pretty early in
the morning to frugal Jason Seaver,
47
00:02:43,290 --> 00:02:44,269
Maggie.
48
00:02:44,270 --> 00:02:46,850
If nothing else, I'm a good negotiator.
Oh, good.
49
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,940
What's he paying? Well, we haven't
nailed that down yet. How long is the
50
00:02:50,940 --> 00:02:52,980
supposed to be? Sometimes long,
sometimes short.
51
00:02:53,460 --> 00:02:56,040
Daily? Weekly? It's unstructured still.
52
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,680
Well, I assume you're getting violent.
53
00:02:58,060 --> 00:02:59,840
Maggie, not all this is etched in stone.
54
00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,720
So, in other words, Mr.
55
00:03:02,660 --> 00:03:06,080
Negotiator, you could be working long
hours for little or no money while
56
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,080
else gets the credit?
57
00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,200
I've been frugal.
58
00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:24,970
He's ready to be.
59
00:04:19,209 --> 00:04:24,670
piece of filth. Maggie Malone, the
bubblehead who left me for the 5 o
60
00:04:24,670 --> 00:04:29,790
news. I haven't been on TV in ages. Get
over it. I won't say another word. Sit.
61
00:04:30,190 --> 00:04:31,190
Talk to me.
62
00:04:31,330 --> 00:04:33,850
That is, if you can handle it without a
teleprompter.
63
00:04:35,730 --> 00:04:38,130
So, what brings you here?
64
00:04:38,370 --> 00:04:40,490
You want to see people actually work for
a living?
65
00:04:41,730 --> 00:04:44,550
My husband's Jason Siebert. What, the
Martin case?
66
00:04:45,010 --> 00:04:46,510
The shrink with the big hair?
67
00:04:50,510 --> 00:04:52,430
I'm here to make sure you don't take
advantage of him.
68
00:04:52,990 --> 00:04:55,330
Maggie, I'm insulted.
69
00:04:56,870 --> 00:05:00,290
I'm giving him double basic with
inflated top end.
70
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,990
Really? And how much do you pay the
paper boys?
71
00:05:04,610 --> 00:05:05,870
Well, no top end.
72
00:05:06,970 --> 00:05:11,550
Just after a decent salary and some
guarantees on column length and byline.
73
00:05:11,610 --> 00:05:13,110
Maggie, you're killing me.
74
00:05:14,590 --> 00:05:16,170
Do you want him or not?
75
00:05:17,370 --> 00:05:18,370
Okay.
76
00:05:19,310 --> 00:05:20,790
I'll pay him senior scale.
77
00:05:21,090 --> 00:05:24,110
But don't you dare say a word about this
to any of the paper boys.
78
00:05:25,390 --> 00:05:28,870
I am going to smash this worthless piece
of junk.
79
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,330
You bought the Shiitake 2000?
80
00:05:33,490 --> 00:05:35,510
Why don't you just paint ink on your
hand?
81
00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:39,510
Here, hold this down while I thread this
through the J -clips.
82
00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:42,370
When did you learn so much about
printers?
83
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:43,970
I researched them.
84
00:05:44,350 --> 00:05:47,370
When I make a major purchase, I do my
homework.
85
00:05:48,979 --> 00:05:50,880
There, I'll bet. Now, wait a minute.
86
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,480
This could be a column.
87
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:56,320
Every week you could tell my readers how
to get the best value for their dollar.
88
00:05:56,460 --> 00:05:59,560
But I came here to talk about Jason's
column. Well, sure, but there's room for
89
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:03,620
both of you. He'll do the shrink stuff,
you do the microwaves, VCRs, furniture
90
00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:08,760
polish, all that Ralph Nader crud. You
mean consumer awareness? See, you got a
91
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:09,760
handle on this already.
92
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:11,840
Maggie, come on.
93
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:16,580
Your writing is punchy to the point. I
know you'll never use a passive sentence
94
00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:20,060
or a fancy buzzword like buzzword.
95
00:06:20,860 --> 00:06:21,860
What do you say?
96
00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:26,060
Will I receive some form of salary?
97
00:06:26,580 --> 00:06:28,340
Maggie, you're killing me.
98
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,300
What are you doing, Mike?
99
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:35,180
Well, I'm making out my lesson plan for
next week.
100
00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:37,060
Oh, would you like to borrow Chrissy's
crayon?
101
00:06:47,270 --> 00:06:48,650
One crack and I'm gone.
102
00:06:49,650 --> 00:06:50,870
Mike, cut that out.
103
00:06:51,590 --> 00:06:53,470
Oh, you don't know what you're asking,
Dad.
104
00:06:54,950 --> 00:06:57,990
Well, I'll say something. I think you
look brainy.
105
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:04,170
Don't stop him, Dad. My pancreas is
about to blow.
106
00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:09,130
Brainy is just another word for geek.
Hey, I wear glasses. I'm not a geek.
107
00:07:09,430 --> 00:07:10,730
Sure, you've got a woman.
108
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,810
Oh, man, I've got to go lay down. I
think I just hurt myself.
109
00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:20,190
Everybody, guess what?
110
00:07:20,430 --> 00:07:22,210
Your meeting went well with Doug
Stanton?
111
00:07:22,430 --> 00:07:29,390
Oh, did it ever. And I got you, hold on
to your hat, more money than the
112
00:07:29,390 --> 00:07:30,390
paper boys.
113
00:07:33,430 --> 00:07:35,830
Wow. And guess what I was offered?
114
00:07:36,230 --> 00:07:38,110
Three bags full of waffle irons.
115
00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:40,450
No, a column.
116
00:07:40,890 --> 00:07:43,550
Honey, you're writing a column, too?
That's wonderful.
117
00:07:43,970 --> 00:07:45,050
Way to go, Mom.
118
00:07:45,390 --> 00:07:48,910
I'm going to call it Maggie Malone
Consumer Watch. dog.
119
00:07:49,270 --> 00:07:52,730
And I'm testing these for my first
piece, so it's waffles all weekend.
120
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:54,090
Yes!
121
00:07:55,490 --> 00:07:56,710
Oh, I'll get it.
122
00:07:57,190 --> 00:08:00,970
Well, isn't this exciting? Two people in
the same family with columns.
123
00:08:01,670 --> 00:08:05,030
Daddy, Mommy gets waffles with her
columns.
124
00:08:05,330 --> 00:08:06,330
What do you get?
125
00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:10,650
Well, it's not a material thing. It's
just the satisfaction I get out of
126
00:08:10,650 --> 00:08:11,790
people solve their problems.
127
00:08:17,420 --> 00:08:18,420
Well, I'm sorry, too.
128
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:20,700
Thank you.
129
00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:26,820
Well, I knew it was too good to be true.
130
00:08:27,180 --> 00:08:28,180
Who was that?
131
00:08:28,220 --> 00:08:32,400
Doug Stanton. His publisher slashed his
budget so he only has enough money for
132
00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:33,219
one column.
133
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:37,340
Well, he better not cut your column
because he better not cut my column. Who
134
00:08:37,340 --> 00:08:38,340
the exit?
135
00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:42,860
Neither. You know, he actually had the
nerve to suggest that we each submit a
136
00:08:42,860 --> 00:08:43,860
sample column.
137
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,700
I told him that we refused to compete.
138
00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:49,860
Honey, are you saying that... I'm saying
that the column is all yours. Oh,
139
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,780
that's one darn shame.
140
00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:55,080
I'm sorry, Maggie. I mean, are you all
right with that?
141
00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:59,360
I'm fine. I'm fine. Carol, Chrissy, help
me pack these stupid waffle irons. You
142
00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:03,180
said stupid. You said... And that is a
sign of tension. I'm sensing it. Don't
143
00:09:03,180 --> 00:09:05,740
silly. I am very happy for you, Jake.
You sure?
144
00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:07,300
Absolutely. Good.
145
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:15,020
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, Carol
Cressy, stop packing. Maggie, I am a
146
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:18,980
professional at this, and I am sensing
your pain here. And if I let you give up
147
00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:22,120
your column, you would never forgive me.
Oh, so you're saying that you'll give
148
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,480
up your column? Just as I would never
forgive you.
149
00:09:25,060 --> 00:09:26,740
I think we ought to let Stanton decide.
150
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,360
Jason, I don't think it's a good idea,
our competing.
151
00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:33,040
Well, let's not think of this as
competing, Maggie. Let's see it as both
152
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,540
having a chance at something wonderful.
153
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:36,920
Oh, what the heck.
154
00:09:37,930 --> 00:09:40,090
Dessert waffles for everybody.
155
00:09:40,490 --> 00:09:41,490
Yes!
156
00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:44,210
Somebody say waffles.
157
00:09:44,790 --> 00:09:47,850
Oh, Dan, I love your glasses.
158
00:09:48,290 --> 00:09:49,970
They make you look so brainy.
159
00:09:51,410 --> 00:09:53,530
That settles it. I'm going to die a
virgin.
160
00:09:58,950 --> 00:10:03,250
Am I in the right house? Mike Seaver
studying twice in the same day.
161
00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:07,370
Come on, would you keep it down, Carol?
I happen to be working on something very
162
00:10:07,370 --> 00:10:10,270
technical and complex here. Mike, have
you finished the waffle questionnaire
163
00:10:10,270 --> 00:10:11,270
yet? Yeah.
164
00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,830
Maggie, I've got a great title for my
column.
165
00:10:18,130 --> 00:10:20,810
How about Between Your Ears with Jason
Seaver?
166
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,450
Sounds kind of crowded.
167
00:10:25,370 --> 00:10:28,390
How about something punchy like shrink
wrap?
168
00:10:29,370 --> 00:10:30,730
No, no, seriously, how do you like mine?
169
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,460
Chrissy, come on. It's not too bad.
170
00:10:36,980 --> 00:10:40,620
Boy, Mom and Dad are flirting with big
trouble.
171
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,340
What are you talking about, Carol?
172
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,120
Mom and Dad both going after the same
column?
173
00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:49,580
Competition is a weed in the garden of
love.
174
00:10:50,260 --> 00:10:52,120
And you, Carol, are the fertilizer.
175
00:10:54,740 --> 00:10:57,580
Oh, come on, Carol. What are you making
such a big deal out of all this for?
176
00:10:57,820 --> 00:10:59,140
Because it is a big deal.
177
00:10:59,500 --> 00:11:00,960
How can I explain it to you?
178
00:11:01,550 --> 00:11:02,550
Let me use an example.
179
00:11:03,090 --> 00:11:03,869
Okay, fine.
180
00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:06,550
All right, now suppose you and I were
competing against each other for
181
00:11:06,550 --> 00:11:07,550
something, okay?
182
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,650
So there we are, brother and sister.
Now, what are we competing at?
183
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:13,050
It doesn't matter. It's an example,
okay?
184
00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:16,010
Okay. So there we are. Now, how can I
follow your example if I don't know what
185
00:11:16,010 --> 00:11:17,010
we're competing at?
186
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:19,990
Okay, fine. It's a spelling bee. Okay.
187
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:21,290
Okay, fine. Good.
188
00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:23,070
So there we are.
189
00:11:23,210 --> 00:11:25,110
Now, wait a minute. Why would I want to
be in a spelling bee?
190
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,260
It doesn't matter. It's a hypothetical
situation.
191
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,100
But, Carol, you beat the pants off me.
Now, can't we just pick something I'd be
192
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:32,679
good at?
193
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:33,680
Okay, fine.
194
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,940
How about one -on -one basketball?
195
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,180
Okay. All right. Good.
196
00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:42,400
Basketball. So there we are. Now, why
would you want to play basketball again?
197
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:49,340
Mike, Carol, how does this sound for my
first piece?
198
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,340
The id, ego, and superego.
199
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,860
Merging the self in a non -fraternal
world.
200
00:11:59,099 --> 00:12:00,420
Oh, I like that, Dad.
201
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,100
That's great.
202
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,920
I think so. I like it. I'm excited.
203
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:10,540
You're kidding. You understood that?
204
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,380
Yeah. Dad's writing an article about
fraternities.
205
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:21,360
Jason, is that a passive sentence?
206
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:22,619
Which one?
207
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:23,620
That one.
208
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,000
And that one.
209
00:12:27,690 --> 00:12:30,910
And this one with the word buzzword in
it? Pretty good.
210
00:12:33,130 --> 00:12:36,090
I know it's funny how some people don't
like that word.
211
00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:38,910
As a matter of fact, some people hate
that word.
212
00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,090
Jason? Mm -hmm?
213
00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:43,390
Lose the word.
214
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:48,890
Honey, it's not like this is the first
time I've ever been published.
215
00:12:49,270 --> 00:12:52,150
Yes, but that was for other
psychiatrists. This is for actual
216
00:12:53,070 --> 00:12:57,310
Why do you think I used the popular term
buzzword? Buzzword, darling.
217
00:12:58,710 --> 00:12:59,710
Cupcake.
218
00:13:00,470 --> 00:13:05,350
I'm just trying to give you the benefit
of 20 years of journalistic experience.
219
00:13:05,830 --> 00:13:10,150
Oh, and I appreciate that, Puppy Toes,
and all the love it shows. But I'm going
220
00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:14,250
to continue to write about my proven
scientific theories while you confine
221
00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:16,990
yourself to writing about, and I'm just
going to say it, waffles.
222
00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:21,710
I think I'll work on this tomorrow.
223
00:13:23,530 --> 00:13:25,350
All right, me too. I'm kind of tired.
224
00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:43,090
You're opening the window?
225
00:13:44,050 --> 00:13:45,870
It's a little stuffy in here.
226
00:13:47,150 --> 00:13:51,230
Well, I have the house the way you want
it, Maggie. Don't worry about my stiff
227
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:54,770
neck. I didn't know you had a stiff
neck. Oh, no, I didn't mention it
228
00:13:54,770 --> 00:13:56,010
was afraid you'd want one, too.
229
00:13:59,450 --> 00:14:03,310
Now, what is that supposed to mean? Oh,
nothing, nothing, Maggie. Just a little
230
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:04,310
shrink wrap.
231
00:14:05,790 --> 00:14:10,410
It will now be closed by me, which, yes,
I realize is a passive sentence,
232
00:14:10,590 --> 00:14:12,430
Maggie, but it does get the job done.
233
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:21,460
Want me to do it?
234
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,760
Oh, the authority on everything, yes.
235
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,540
As a matter of fact, I am.
236
00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:31,860
Close the window, Maggie. Now you'll be
uncomfortable.
237
00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:36,400
No, Jason, because I will be much more
comfortable sleeping on the cold, hard
238
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:37,900
floor than next to you.
239
00:14:38,340 --> 00:14:40,760
Oh, that's real mature, Maggie.
240
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,800
How am I going to sleep up here in a
nice, warm bed when you're down there?
241
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,140
You made your nice warm bed, now lie in
it.
242
00:14:47,340 --> 00:14:51,980
I don't want it, and you can't make me.
I can't believe you're doing this. I'm
243
00:14:51,980 --> 00:14:53,880
doing it, Maggie, and I'm doing it all
by myself.
244
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,080
And I'm doing it better than you.
245
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:57,640
Fine. Fine.
246
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:00,099
Good night.
247
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,100
Good night.
248
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:08,620
Guys,
249
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,840
we have had Belgian waffle, Mexican
waffle.
250
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:14,869
Mooshu waffles.
251
00:15:16,150 --> 00:15:17,270
Waffles ranchero.
252
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,170
Does anyone know what the heck that was
last night?
253
00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:21,990
Liver and onion waffles.
254
00:15:24,870 --> 00:15:28,470
Knock it off, you guys. We have to keep
eating these waffles until Mom finishes
255
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:29,249
her column.
256
00:15:29,250 --> 00:15:30,910
Oh, I finished my column last night,
honey.
257
00:15:58,410 --> 00:16:01,730
They're broken. They are not, you
nearsighted little weenie. They're just
258
00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:03,250
They're broken.
259
00:16:03,870 --> 00:16:07,910
Well, sweetheart, if your glasses are
broken, a little masking tape will make
260
00:16:07,910 --> 00:16:08,910
them good as new.
261
00:16:10,810 --> 00:16:11,810
Masking tape?
262
00:16:13,930 --> 00:16:14,930
Hey,
263
00:16:15,130 --> 00:16:16,510
I was wrong. They're not broken.
264
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:19,210
It's a miracle. I can see. I can see.
265
00:16:20,870 --> 00:16:21,930
Good morning, family.
266
00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:23,049
Hey, Dad.
267
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:24,750
Dearest. My love.
268
00:16:26,510 --> 00:16:29,390
I'll be taking my column over to Doug's
office this morning. It would be my
269
00:16:29,390 --> 00:16:32,890
pleasure to bring yours with me. Oh, how
very thoughtful of you. But then you
270
00:16:32,890 --> 00:16:33,890
always are.
271
00:16:35,150 --> 00:16:36,390
Oh, let me help you with that.
272
00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:40,070
Oh, thank you, Jason. How very
thoughtful of you.
273
00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:42,250
The least I could do. Watch your step.
Okay.
274
00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:43,389
I'll get that.
275
00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:44,830
Thank you. Oh, okay.
276
00:16:45,850 --> 00:16:46,850
My gosh.
277
00:16:46,970 --> 00:16:49,030
Those two are ready to go for each
other's throats.
278
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,630
Oh, Carol, you sound like a broken
record.
279
00:16:52,010 --> 00:16:54,390
Come on. They're just being lovey
-dovey. Yeah, Carol.
280
00:16:54,770 --> 00:16:55,770
Newsflash.
281
00:16:57,180 --> 00:17:00,580
acting happy? Because they're happy.
Yeah, has anybody heard an angry word
282
00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:01,580
of them all weekend?
283
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,220
They were really mad.
284
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:05,099
They can never hide it from us.
285
00:17:07,540 --> 00:17:10,640
Doug would like to see us at three o
'clock. Is that okay for you? Perfect.
286
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:12,540
See you there. Good.
287
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,680
There. Now do you see what I'm talking
about?
288
00:17:20,579 --> 00:17:21,579
Judges.
289
00:17:29,870 --> 00:17:31,730
My first day of geekdom is officially
over.
290
00:17:32,470 --> 00:17:36,010
Ben, cool guys wear glasses, too, you
know. Oh, yeah? Name 20.
291
00:17:37,050 --> 00:17:38,050
Woody Allen.
292
00:17:39,070 --> 00:17:40,150
Jose Feliciano.
293
00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:43,290
Urkel.
294
00:17:43,550 --> 00:17:46,810
Urkel? My sister likes him. She's four
years old.
295
00:17:47,850 --> 00:17:51,750
Well, what about Clark Kent? He wears
glasses and he has Lois Lane.
296
00:17:51,990 --> 00:17:54,010
When he's Clark Kent, she doesn't give
him the time of day.
297
00:17:54,270 --> 00:17:57,030
But as soon as those glasses come off,
ba -bing, ba -boom.
298
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:00,690
Look over there. It's Jessica Hart.
299
00:18:01,070 --> 00:18:04,030
I've had a crush on her since the fifth
grade. She doesn't even know I'm alive.
300
00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:09,110
Don't breathe. Here she comes.
301
00:18:10,630 --> 00:18:11,630
Hi.
302
00:18:12,470 --> 00:18:14,430
Aren't you in my third period English
class?
303
00:18:16,410 --> 00:18:19,390
I recognize those cool glasses.
304
00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:21,270
Are you new in school?
305
00:18:22,090 --> 00:18:23,090
Yes.
306
00:18:24,530 --> 00:18:26,310
My name's Jessica. What's yours?
307
00:18:26,990 --> 00:18:28,870
Um... Kent.
308
00:18:29,290 --> 00:18:30,290
Clark Kent.
309
00:18:31,370 --> 00:18:33,570
You want to walk me to the bus, Clark?
310
00:18:34,470 --> 00:18:35,470
Sure.
311
00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:38,990
Bum -bing, bum -boom.
312
00:18:42,990 --> 00:18:45,270
Doug, you slimy snake in the grass.
313
00:18:45,630 --> 00:18:47,830
Maggie, you walking Kewpie doll.
314
00:18:49,030 --> 00:18:51,390
Stan, you old toad.
315
00:18:53,390 --> 00:18:55,570
Hey, take it easy. I got feelings.
316
00:18:58,590 --> 00:18:59,590
Sir.
317
00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:00,830
Sit.
318
00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:05,430
Maggie Malone?
319
00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:07,470
Jason Seaver.
320
00:19:09,170 --> 00:19:12,330
Talk to me.
321
00:19:13,170 --> 00:19:14,610
You old toad.
322
00:19:14,810 --> 00:19:15,810
I drew a blank.
323
00:19:16,650 --> 00:19:20,670
No, you stay where you are. I'm coming
down there with a letter opener to cut
324
00:19:20,670 --> 00:19:22,510
out your heart and stomp on it.
325
00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:25,730
I love this business.
326
00:19:31,590 --> 00:19:36,030
I guess it would be wrong for us to look
at them. Yes, very unprofessional.
327
00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,850
Wow! Mine doesn't have a mark on it.
328
00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:47,030
Mine does. It's covered with red ink.
329
00:19:47,610 --> 00:19:50,090
Well, that doesn't necessarily mean that
he doesn't like it.
330
00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:53,330
Jason, he used it as a coaster.
331
00:19:55,390 --> 00:19:58,570
I suppose the congratulations are in
order.
332
00:20:00,140 --> 00:20:03,660
Honey, believe me, when I encouraged you
to follow this thing through, I never
333
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:08,620
dreamed that... Well, I dreamed, maybe,
but I really didn't think... Jason,
334
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,480
I'm very happy for you.
335
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,320
I know you are, honey. I'll make it up
to you soon. Okay!
336
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:16,700
Where were we?
337
00:20:17,180 --> 00:20:18,180
Oh, right.
338
00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:24,200
My wife tells me I'm too blunt with
people.
339
00:20:24,860 --> 00:20:26,240
I'm trying to work on it.
340
00:20:27,820 --> 00:20:28,820
Jason!
341
00:20:29,260 --> 00:20:30,700
I love your tie.
342
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,200
Your column made me want to toss my
cookies.
343
00:20:35,740 --> 00:20:39,780
Maggie, make a few changes. I think we
can get that in the morning edition.
344
00:20:40,380 --> 00:20:42,780
You're giving me the column? Of course.
What did you think?
345
00:20:43,120 --> 00:20:45,700
Well, I thought... What do you think she
thought? You made marks on hers. It
346
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:46,700
looked like a road map.
347
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:48,560
Not even a comment on mine.
348
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:54,220
I only make marks on my second pass. I
just couldn't face reading that again.
349
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:57,880
Well, was there a...
350
00:20:58,270 --> 00:20:59,470
Anything you liked about mine?
351
00:21:01,770 --> 00:21:08,550
I get the
352
00:21:08,550 --> 00:21:12,370
picture. I got it. That's no problem.
That's fine.
353
00:21:13,050 --> 00:21:15,810
That's okay. I'll see you at home.
354
00:21:24,910 --> 00:21:27,310
Honey? Are you all right?
355
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:28,680
Oh, yeah.
356
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:34,760
You know, after you left, a part of me
wanted to tell Doug to take his column
357
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:35,760
and sit on it.
358
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,280
Well, that wasn't necessary.
359
00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:40,960
Fortunately, the part of me that spoke
accepted the column.
360
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,940
But I did tell him that I resented the
way he treated you. Yeah, well, he was
361
00:21:44,940 --> 00:21:45,940
blunt, wasn't he?
362
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,200
But he was right.
363
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,420
I got a copy of your article, Maggie.
364
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:55,360
No buzzwords, no passive sentences, only
sharp, intelligent, funny.
365
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,680
It reminded me of the night I danced
with Fred Astaire.
366
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:04,660
You never danced with Fred Astaire. Yes,
I did. I did so.
367
00:22:04,980 --> 00:22:09,460
I was watching Top Hat on TV, and Fred
got up and did some of those steps and
368
00:22:09,460 --> 00:22:12,940
made it look easy. I got up and did a
couple of those steps, did a big kick,
369
00:22:12,940 --> 00:22:13,940
popped a hamstring.
370
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:21,420
That's when I realized you have to be a
real pro to make something so hard look
371
00:22:21,420 --> 00:22:22,420
so easy, Maggie.
372
00:22:23,260 --> 00:22:24,360
And you are a pro.
373
00:22:25,830 --> 00:22:26,830
Oh, Jason.
374
00:22:30,850 --> 00:22:32,510
Don't you think it's a little warm in
here?
375
00:22:33,810 --> 00:22:35,390
I will open the window.
376
00:22:36,450 --> 00:22:38,810
No, no, no, not that kind of warm.
377
00:22:39,770 --> 00:22:40,770
Puppy toes.
378
00:22:41,090 --> 00:22:43,270
Oh, puppy toes. Yeah.
379
00:22:43,910 --> 00:22:45,170
That kind of warm.
30210
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof