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Okay.
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All right.
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Thank you.
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You know, Mike, I had a great time
tonight. Oh, I did too, Kate. And I had
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great time last night. Oh, me too, Kate.
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You know, maybe we should start dating
again.
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Kate, I don't know when we'd have the
time. I spend every night with you.
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Well, I know. That's what I mean. Maybe
we should be dating.
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Oh, I get it. I get it. You want me to
come to the door instead of honking. No.
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Well, yes, actually.
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But it would be nice if we were
officially seeing each other. I mean, I
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idea of commitment frightens me. Well,
smell that.
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Something's burning.
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Why do you always run when I bring up
the subject of dating? Hey, Kate, I
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I swear to heck out of me. Oh, come on.
Eddie, this is my apartment.
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All right, apology accepted.
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Come on, come on, Eddie. Come on, get
out. No, no, Mike, I got something real
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important to tell you. Eddie, Mike and I
were talking about something important,
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too. Yeah, Eddie, we were talking
about... Hey, Eddie, how you doing? Long
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no see. No, no, no, I'm sorry. I can't
hold this in any longer.
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Michael, Kate, I'm getting married.
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Yeah, I was drunk and done with joy at
first, too.
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What are you talking about? You getting
married? Yeah, right. Hey, I'm serious,
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Mike. Now, I know in the past I may have
been a little footloose. I suppose you
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could even say... Oh, what's the word?
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Sleazy?
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Yeah, yeah.
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But I'm a changed man.
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And if it weren't for you and Kate, I'd
never have met my beloved Tina.
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Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Tina?
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Not Tina, the hat check girl.
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Oh, she does so many things.
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Now, you guys were there for the start
of my romance with Tina, and we'd like
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you there for the end.
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You're my best friend, Michael.
36
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Will you give me away?
37
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I can't believe this. You're actually
getting married?
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Hey, look, look, look. Before you do
anything, just go downstairs and spend
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minutes with my parents.
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Mike! Come on, this is wonderful news.
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It's not something to joke about.
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Marriage is a very beautiful and serious
thing. Right, Eddie?
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You!
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Eddie! Wait till you see my true self.
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It doesn't get any more serious than
this.
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The best is ready to begin.
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Or the tip -off.
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I gotta get me
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some friends.
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Run away, squid lips!
51
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What a cool machine!
52
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:05,280
Well, while I'm upstairs talking to
Mike, feel free to snip the upholstery.
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Vegas? As in Las Vegas?
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Well, that's where the wedding is.
55
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Oh, come on, Eddie. You didn't tell me
that last night. Well, as my best man,
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you're supposed to know these things.
Come on.
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Now, let's see. We'll fly to Vegas, have
the wedding, see naughty girls on ice.
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We should be back by Monday.
59
00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,300
Oh, come on, Eddie. Man, this is crazy.
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No, no. Wait till you see him skate.
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Okay, here's the tickets.
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Here's the rings.
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Is there anything I'm forgetting?
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00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:55,110
Have, uh, blood tests?
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Nah, I don't need them. I can marry a
chimpanzee and no one would care. That's
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the beauty of Vegas!
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Hey, Eddie!
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The seats taste better than they smell!
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00:05:04,550 --> 00:05:06,050
Ben, quit slobbering in my car!
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00:05:06,530 --> 00:05:08,150
Oh, one more thing, Mike.
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00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:10,690
I'd appreciate it if you'd keep this
whole marriage thing a secret.
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Why? My parents aren't too happy about
it. I told them Tina and I were engaged.
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My mom flung herself out the window.
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Then so he'll have the limo back and...
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a lint to sniff the upholstery, too.
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Ben! Ben!
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If you want me to clean this dump, then
I want my two bucks in advance.
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00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:36,400
Oh, hey, come on. You trust me, don't
you, kiddo? What am I, Ben?
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Okay. All right, okay. Here you go. Two
dollars.
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00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:43,600
Where are you going?
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00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:48,120
Uh, I'm going to, uh... I'm going on a
little trip with Eddie.
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Those are mine.
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What are you doing with this wedding
ring? You're not married, are you?
84
00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:02,190
Look, Christy, on second thought, I
really don't need your help, okay? All
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00:06:02,190 --> 00:06:03,230
right, move it out. Let's go.
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00:06:08,050 --> 00:06:11,670
Hello? Yeah, Kate, start packing your
bags. This wedding is in Vegas.
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00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:18,430
Where's Mike? You know, I called up the
garage about ten minutes ago. Have you
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00:06:18,430 --> 00:06:19,430
seen him, Jason? No.
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He said he was going on a trip.
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00:06:22,010 --> 00:06:25,410
Eddie. But he didn't go with Eddie. He
went with Kate.
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00:06:26,270 --> 00:06:27,270
He's out with Kate?
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00:06:27,410 --> 00:06:29,610
On a date? He took a whole lot of
underwear.
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00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:35,410
Mike went on a trip with Eddie. He went
on a trip with Kate. Eddie. Kate!
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00:06:36,090 --> 00:06:39,490
Who are you going to believe? Your
daughter who's reading that second grade
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00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:41,350
level? Or Jello had hair?
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00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:48,570
That's what you know. I saw Eddie pick
Mike up in a limo to take him to Vegas
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get married.
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What?
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00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:52,660
Why would Mike marry Eddie?
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00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:57,559
Don't panic.
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00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,560
This might be another one of Ben's
bonehead mistakes.
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In a limo, Jason, with lots of
underwear.
103
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And wedding rings.
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00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,280
Oh, Jason, what are we going to do?
105
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I'd just like to point out that there's
no need to think Mike's making a mistake
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00:07:09,100 --> 00:07:11,420
just because your marriage turned out
the way it has.
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00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:15,060
You know, Maggie, she's right.
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Excuse me, everybody.
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Can I have your attention, please?
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My good friends, Eddie and Tina here,
are getting married when we get to Las
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Vegas, so I'd like all of you to join me
in wishing them the best of luck.
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Okay?
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The drinks are on me.
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Okay. And the best man, my Mikey, who I
was going out with when I met my honey
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man, when he was going out with a maid
of honor behind my back before I had it
116
00:08:01,950 --> 00:08:03,830
back, before she changed her name from
Julie.
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00:08:05,390 --> 00:08:06,390
What?
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This way.
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Uh, excuse me, sweetheart.
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Hey.
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Where are you going?
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Oh, to give these poor, overworked young
ladies a hand. I just want to say, I'm
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sorry I can't throw your bachelor party.
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That's okay. You can do it after I'm
married.
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It's the least I can do buying all these
drinks for everybody. I mean, hey, how
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many times is my pro going to get
married?
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Who knows?
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What do you mean? Come on, Eddie. You
love Tina, right?
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00:08:35,350 --> 00:08:36,570
Oh, what's not to love?
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00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:38,690
Yeah, so you guys really get along?
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Oh, she expects nothing from me, Mike,
and I can deliver.
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00:08:43,470 --> 00:08:46,090
Oh, well, that's good, Eddie. You know,
I'll tell you something.
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I didn't really plan on settling down
until, well...
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Never actually went. Hey, what the heck?
Marriage will be a hoot.
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00:08:53,380 --> 00:08:58,220
A hoot? Yeah, you know, I have never,
ever met any woman like Tina before.
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Yeah?
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Except maybe Gloria.
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00:09:02,780 --> 00:09:05,280
I have to call Gloria. Whoa, whoa,
Eddie. Eddie, who's Gloria?
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00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,240
This girl I was supposed to go out with
tonight until this whole wedding thing
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00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,240
came up. Eddie.
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Eddie, come on, man. You are getting
married.
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Well, not until tomorrow.
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It's because I'm married, isn't it?
144
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See my wedding ring?
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Gone. Ah, Kate, Kate, look, I need to
talk to you. What about?
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Ah, be private.
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00:09:28,440 --> 00:09:29,440
No, no, no.
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Come on.
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00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:32,300
Thanks for the drink, Spike.
150
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:33,720
Julie.
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00:09:36,180 --> 00:09:42,240
Look, look, Kate, I... Wait, I'll do it?
Come here, just come here.
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Wait,
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what is going on? Kate, look, I've been
thinking, all right? This whole marriage
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business, I don't know, it just really
made me think.
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And, Kate, how do you know when you're
ready to be married?
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Mike, Mike, what is this?
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00:10:00,370 --> 00:10:01,370
Are you proposing?
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What, what?
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00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:06,030
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Kate, I'm
talking about Eddie.
160
00:10:06,630 --> 00:10:09,370
See, I think that he's really making a
big mistake with this wedding.
161
00:10:09,970 --> 00:10:13,190
Oh? Yes, he's saying all these
ridiculous things about marriage. I
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00:10:13,190 --> 00:10:14,370
thinks it's going to be a hoot.
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00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:18,180
That's just like you. You think that
marriage is the end of everything good
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00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:19,180
instead of the beginning.
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00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,720
Kate, come on. Can we stick to the
subject, please?
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00:10:21,980 --> 00:10:24,920
If everything is a mistake, at least
he's ready to make a mistake instead of
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00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,420
being afraid to commit to a
relationship.
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00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:29,360
Afraid? You're calling me afraid?
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00:10:29,580 --> 00:10:30,600
Well, yeah.
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00:10:33,140 --> 00:10:34,140
Oh.
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00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:39,060
Kate, I met my first husband that way.
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On a biplane.
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00:11:05,710 --> 00:11:07,210
I'm going to go help Eddie get some
nuts.
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00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:17,590
Just think, in a few hours, all this
will be Eddie's.
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00:11:20,390 --> 00:11:23,230
Tina, what made you decide to marry
Eddie?
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00:11:23,950 --> 00:11:25,130
He asked me.
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00:11:25,850 --> 00:11:26,850
That's it?
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00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:29,430
Don't be silly. I had other reasons.
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00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:33,150
Serious reasons. Like his hair.
180
00:11:35,630 --> 00:11:36,630
Because you like his hair?
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00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:39,070
I'm marrying Eddie because he has hair.
182
00:11:41,170 --> 00:11:45,730
See, most of the guys I've dated have
been kind of old and overweight and
183
00:11:46,450 --> 00:11:47,450
Why?
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00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:50,610
From life expectancy charts, it seemed
like a way to go.
185
00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:54,390
Eddie's really the first guy who doesn't
wear a toupee.
186
00:11:54,990 --> 00:11:57,610
At least I don't think it's a toupee.
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00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:00,150
Me neither.
188
00:12:01,350 --> 00:12:02,510
Just think.
189
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:04,750
Then I'll be Mrs. Edward.
190
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:06,960
Mrs. Edward.
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00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:09,500
Zeph?
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00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:12,000
Is that his last name?
193
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,100
Tina, I get the feeling you don't know
Eddie all that well.
194
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,340
I don't want to spoil the fun.
195
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:22,500
But marriage is a serious step.
196
00:12:23,020 --> 00:12:24,380
Oh, I know it is.
197
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,640
Mom always told me to look for Mr.
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00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:33,440
Right. She said when you find him, you
get this feeling in your stomach, and
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00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:34,440
know.
200
00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:36,340
What happened when she met my dad?
201
00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,980
Oh, that's sweet. And your dad was Mr.
Right?
202
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,420
No, it turned out she had a bug or
something.
203
00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:47,140
By that time, she'd already married him.
And her life was hell.
204
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,520
Boy, a story like that really makes you
think.
205
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,000
I mean, you don't want to make a big
mistake.
206
00:12:56,500 --> 00:12:58,880
Gee, I don't see how you get that out of
it.
207
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,400
Well, what else could it mean?
208
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,860
in your stomach when it could turn out
to be gas.
209
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:15,540
Look, Eddie, I wanted to ask you, have
you really thought about what marriage
210
00:13:15,540 --> 00:13:16,379
going to be like?
211
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:18,800
Oh, I can't stop thinking about it.
212
00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:21,340
Yes, so you don't have any doubts?
213
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:23,980
You think I should have doubts?
214
00:13:24,260 --> 00:13:27,120
You think there's a chance I might not
be doing the right thing? Well,
215
00:13:27,860 --> 00:13:31,920
it's just like you to think that
marriage is the end of everything good
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00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:32,920
of the beginning.
217
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:38,820
Hey, look, if you're happy, then I'm
happy. I'm behind you a thousand
218
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:41,320
Oh, thanks, man. That means a lot to me.
219
00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:44,520
Mike, can I talk to you? Oh, yeah, Kate,
Kate, yeah. I was just telling...
220
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:54,700
Kate,
221
00:13:54,700 --> 00:13:57,140
Kate, look, I just wanted to tell you, I
think you were absolutely right.
222
00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:59,920
You know, you should have seen the look
on Eddie's face when I told him that
223
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:01,020
this marriage was a good idea.
224
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:02,740
Why on earth would you do that?
225
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,260
Well, because...
226
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:05,970
Because you told me to.
227
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:09,870
Oh, out of all the times I've told you
things, you picked this one to start
228
00:14:09,870 --> 00:14:10,870
listening?
229
00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,670
Yes, hello, Cupid's Cathedral?
230
00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:23,550
Yes, I am trying to find a couple that
is about to make a tragic mistake.
231
00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:26,630
What do you mean, take my pick?
232
00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:35,610
Oh, Jason, it's no use. There must be 50
chapels in Las Vegas.
233
00:14:35,930 --> 00:14:38,690
Hey, Maggie, the gold diggers are
headlining at Circus Circus.
234
00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:43,710
Jason, please try and stay focused here.
Honey, I'm just trying to find
235
00:14:43,710 --> 00:14:45,010
something to be happy about.
236
00:14:45,490 --> 00:14:48,330
This is pointless. What if we do find
Mike? What are we going to do, ground
237
00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:50,550
Send him to a suite without room
service?
238
00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:54,790
I am not giving up. I am not forgetting
why I'm here.
239
00:14:57,290 --> 00:15:00,930
I'll take the chapels from Adam's Rib to
Marriage is a Rust. Okay.
240
00:15:01,830 --> 00:15:05,250
And you take Naughty But Nice to Zing,
Zing, Zing With My Heart. Okay.
241
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:35,440
here to get married?
242
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,360
We don't do groups.
243
00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:42,360
No, no, no, sir. We're not getting
married. Just they are.
244
00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:49,680
That's $9 .95 for the we've only just
begun chapel or $19
245
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:53,400
.95 for the you're having my baby
chapel.
246
00:15:54,380 --> 00:15:56,000
Well, what's the difference?
247
00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:57,340
$10.
248
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,000
We cannot let him go through with this.
What are we supposed to do?
249
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,940
Well, I think it's time to be a man and
then to go in there and tell him that
250
00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:10,940
this is a big mistake.
251
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:13,780
All right, well, go ahead. Tell him.
252
00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:17,180
Frank, it should come from a friend.
253
00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:18,580
You tell Eddie.
254
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:21,020
Okay, all right.
255
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:26,020
I think this wedding is the biggest
mistake of your life.
256
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:30,960
Wrong chapel.
257
00:17:06,349 --> 00:17:07,349
Are you kids ready?
258
00:17:07,510 --> 00:17:08,530
Oh, yeah.
259
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,650
Wait, I'm not sure.
260
00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:14,710
Oh, yeah.
261
00:17:16,430 --> 00:17:17,430
Ah!
262
00:17:18,730 --> 00:17:20,230
Okay, I'm sure.
263
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:25,430
Hey, you being here means a lot to me,
bro. Yeah.
264
00:17:26,450 --> 00:17:31,850
All right, the bride and the groom stand
here, and the best man and the maid of
265
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:33,210
honor at their side.
266
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:51,300
to join this man, Edward Cornelius Zeph,
and this woman, Tina Louise,
267
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,560
in holy matrimony.
268
00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:57,180
This is his decision. It's his life.
269
00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:01,120
I mean, who am I to tell him what to do?
Like, my relationship's working out so
270
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:02,120
hot.
271
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,300
You're my best friend, Mike.
272
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:05,920
Will you give me away?
273
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,240
Someone should tell him the truth.
274
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:12,100
You think I should have doubts?
275
00:18:12,570 --> 00:18:14,170
You think I might not be doing the right
thing?
276
00:18:15,290 --> 00:18:17,250
It should come from a friend, Mike.
277
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:18,530
You tell Eddie.
278
00:18:19,690 --> 00:18:21,570
You being here means a lot to me, bro.
279
00:18:22,510 --> 00:18:27,350
If anyone knows why these two should not
be wed, speak now.
280
00:18:27,710 --> 00:18:28,710
Now.
281
00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:31,070
I mean, no.
282
00:18:32,730 --> 00:18:35,050
Look, you guys, you can't do this. This
is not right.
283
00:18:36,210 --> 00:18:40,370
I mean, I don't know. I just know that
marriage is not something that you're
284
00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:41,470
supposed to fool around with.
285
00:18:41,900 --> 00:18:43,440
I mean, it's more important than that.
286
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:48,220
Marriage is even more important than
love because it's about two people
287
00:18:48,220 --> 00:18:49,600
the rest of their lives together.
288
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:54,560
It's like two people becoming one new
person, and I wouldn't be a friend if I
289
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:55,560
didn't say something.
290
00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:01,980
I don't know. Maybe you think I'm not a
friend because I did.
291
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:06,280
Want to call it off?
292
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:08,200
Sure. What the hell?
293
00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:14,260
That's settled. Anybody want to see
bottoms up, 91?
294
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:16,100
I do, I do.
295
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,440
I came here to say that, and I said it.
296
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,680
Hey, you guys going to come along?
297
00:19:24,060 --> 00:19:25,340
All right, we'll catch up to you later.
298
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,620
That's why we take the money first.
299
00:19:33,180 --> 00:19:35,820
That was quite a speech you made.
300
00:19:37,340 --> 00:19:38,900
Oh, man, it was me, wasn't it?
301
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,500
Where did all that come from?
302
00:19:43,430 --> 00:19:44,430
I don't know.
303
00:19:44,990 --> 00:19:48,670
I don't know. I just opened my mouth and
got it came.
304
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,830
I would have stopped myself, but I
wanted to see how it finished.
305
00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:56,330
But you did believe what you said.
306
00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,530
Mike?
307
00:20:00,170 --> 00:20:01,630
Yeah, I was just going to see if I
believed it.
308
00:20:04,110 --> 00:20:06,550
I thought it was beautiful.
309
00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:09,690
You really surprised me.
310
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:13,820
Yeah, me too.
311
00:20:15,780 --> 00:20:17,880
So what other surprises you got for me?
312
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,820
Jason, I have a good feeling about this.
313
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,520
Wow, one of the monkeys was married
here.
314
00:20:34,860 --> 00:20:36,340
My God, we're too late.
315
00:20:37,220 --> 00:20:38,720
Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
316
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,440
We can be big about this.
317
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:43,540
Welcome to our family.
318
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:48,720
I know I can get to like you eventually.
319
00:20:51,020 --> 00:20:52,020
No, no, no, no.
320
00:20:52,340 --> 00:20:53,880
Mike and I aren't married.
321
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,280
Mike, do you still have our rings?
322
00:20:57,620 --> 00:20:59,620
Welcome to our family.
323
00:21:09,390 --> 00:21:10,410
Aren't you married to anyone?
324
00:21:10,750 --> 00:21:14,230
No, no, Mom, I came here as Eddie's best
man, but they just called the wedding
325
00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:16,610
off. I am so relieved.
326
00:21:16,990 --> 00:21:20,810
Oh, not that marrying you would be the
worst thing Mike's ever done.
327
00:21:21,430 --> 00:21:25,650
Oh, no, I mean, there is a chance that
you're a fine young lady.
328
00:21:26,770 --> 00:21:30,310
Hey, I've got a great idea. Why don't we
all just leave before we say something
329
00:21:30,310 --> 00:21:31,310
stupid?
330
00:21:41,889 --> 00:21:44,670
Kate, what do you say we start dating
again?
331
00:21:47,650 --> 00:21:51,030
I don't know when we'd have the time.
We're seeing each other almost every
332
00:21:51,030 --> 00:21:52,030
night.
333
00:21:53,910 --> 00:22:00,670
I knew I'd hear that saying that.
They'll be
334
00:22:00,670 --> 00:22:01,670
back.
26540
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