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Previously on Growing Pains... Oh, uh,
Mrs.
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Seaver? Wouldn't you like to put the
thrill back into your marriage by
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00:00:10,110 --> 00:00:11,870
Europe for just pennies a day?
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00:00:12,570 --> 00:00:16,050
Mike, the day your dad springs for a
trip to Europe is the day pigs fly.
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00:00:18,790 --> 00:00:21,470
She's in first class? I have no idea.
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00:00:22,350 --> 00:00:24,890
No, no, no, guys. This isn't your stop.
It's mine.
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00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:26,720
Mike's going to Europe, too?
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00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:30,960
Do you realize, according to the
itinerary, we're not visiting the grave
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Gogh?
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Oh, look,
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the Eiffel Tower.
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00:00:37,460 --> 00:00:39,440
Oh, honey, I want to go back to Henri's.
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00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:43,620
Oh, yeah, so do I. Where else can you
get such great food at a sensible price?
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It's also where you proposed.
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Why don't you come to Europe?
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Well, I... I figured a place with 68
million women who couldn't understand a
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00:00:52,180 --> 00:00:53,540
word I said couldn't be all bad.
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Sus boletos no valen nada, señorita, a
no ser que necesiten papel higiénico.
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El hombre es el presidente, babababu.
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At the end of version.
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Oh, Jason.
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in Europe.
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We have a pair of tickets that's good
only in Paris in six days. A city 500
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miles away.
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It's appendicitis, but we're taking it
on, so everything's going to be fine.
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00:01:34,210 --> 00:01:38,370
When my mom finds out that her little
boy is in trouble, heck, I can just hear
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00:01:38,370 --> 00:01:39,370
her now.
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Jason, we are not having a baby.
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Oh, come
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on.
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Oh, come on. No one's there.
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Don't be so dumb.
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Dumb?
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Hey, look, I'm not the one who blew her
whole life savings on this tour. I got
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it for free.
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Just for the record, I'm sorry I was so
nice to you.
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I don't need her.
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I'll be fine.
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What if I don't have a lot of money and
things aren't looking so good right now?
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00:02:41,610 --> 00:02:43,250
I'd talk my way out of tougher jam.
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00:02:44,190 --> 00:02:45,190
Sir. Yes?
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Don't they...
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00:03:11,660 --> 00:03:15,120
Show me that smile Don't waste the
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little ones, we wouldn't be having so
much fun.
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00:04:18,820 --> 00:04:22,680
Grandma, it's two in the morning. How
long do I have to keep this on?
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00:04:23,140 --> 00:04:27,200
It's Mississippi River mud, dear. One
minute to apply, an hour to dry.
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00:04:27,460 --> 00:04:30,840
It'll suck the impurities right out of
your skin.
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By morning, your face will be as soft as
Benjamin's behind.
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00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:38,900
There's a disgusting image.
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00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:44,460
Now you relax on the couch while... I go
up and warm up the power tweezers.
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00:04:49,700 --> 00:04:53,740
Yeah, same time tomorrow night,
Stickman. When my parents gone, I can
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with murder.
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00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,300
What's going on down here?
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00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:03,920
Benjamin, what are you doing coming in
at this hour? You're only nine years
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I'm 14, Grandma.
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Old enough to be drafted.
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00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,220
Oh, well, that's different.
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00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:12,440
Carol, you've never looked lovelier.
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00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,780
Into the chocolate pudding again, I see.
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00:05:15,380 --> 00:05:17,720
It's Mississippi River mud.
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00:05:18,580 --> 00:05:20,460
Boy, you must have really been hungry.
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Quiet!
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If you wake up your grandfather, oh,
maybe it's an hour to apply, a minute to
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dry.
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00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,560
Hey, Carol's turning into stone.
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00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:44,380
Now, it's nothing to be alarmed about.
I'll have it off in a jiffy.
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00:05:45,260 --> 00:05:49,560
Do you know where your father keeps his
chisels?
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We're not together.
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00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:05,700
Say, thanks for loaning me a toothbrush.
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00:06:07,420 --> 00:06:08,560
It's not what you think.
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00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:10,500
We slept on park benches last night.
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Different park benches.
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Different park.
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00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:17,540
And he didn't borrow my toothbrush. He
stole it.
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I don't think he speaks English.
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00:06:21,260 --> 00:06:22,960
Good. It's none of his business anyway.
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00:06:23,860 --> 00:06:27,080
Un boleto que me lleve el hombre cerca
de París.
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Ese es todo el dinero que tengo.
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Yeah. Two. Dos.
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00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:32,240
Me too.
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00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:35,080
Hey, can I help it if I happen to be
going to the same place as you are?
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00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:37,140
Which is?
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00:06:37,390 --> 00:06:39,850
I could tell you, and you still wouldn't
know.
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00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:44,470
She's always like this.
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Canadian.
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00:06:48,850 --> 00:06:51,950
Hey, look, you say you don't need me?
Look, you need me just to keep your
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00:06:51,950 --> 00:06:52,749
tickets straight.
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00:06:52,750 --> 00:06:54,010
Those aren't tickets. That's money.
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00:06:54,910 --> 00:06:58,450
Oh. Well, then, for now, I'm going to
keep this in a safe place. Where's my
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00:06:58,450 --> 00:06:59,450
money?
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00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:49,000
Oh, I caught a new producteur. Ah, no
need for the high school French.
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00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:50,239
How's my wife?
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00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:55,240
Excellent. And you have a 4 ,000 -gram
healthy, happy baby boy.
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I don't understand.
95
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:03,080
Ah, metric, forgive me. Your son, he
weighs eight pounds.
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00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:05,460
No, no, I don't have a baby.
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00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:11,040
It is bad enough you were not by your
wife's side when the child was born. Now
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00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,360
you disown her completely?
99
00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:16,820
No, no, I... It's fever. My name is
fever. I brought my wife in here to have
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appendix removed.
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00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:20,340
Oh, Sacrebleu, what have we done?
102
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What have you done?
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Oh, please.
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I'm sure it is just a little, um, how
you say, uh, mix up in the paperwork.
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Don't worry. We lose patience all the
time.
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00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,200
Hey,
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look, I don't mean to rush you, but the
report in the bus.
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It doesn't matter anymore.
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Hey, if you're not out here by the count
of three, I'm leaving without you.
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One, two,
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two and a half, two and three quarters.
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Come on, come on, let's go.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Si
queréis subir, tenéis que comprar otro
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boleto. No, gracias.
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Hasta luego.
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00:09:09,170 --> 00:09:12,290
Bueno, muchachos, apriétense sus
cinturones de seguridad.
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00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:25,200
What did you say to get us kicked off
that bus?
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Our tickets only took us this far.
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00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:30,820
Well, what'd you tell him that for? I
didn't tell him. He told me.
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00:09:31,340 --> 00:09:32,940
Gus, Gus, I hate Gus.
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00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:34,740
All right, look, we could buy some more
tickets.
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We don't have any more money.
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00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:38,660
Oh, yeah? What do you call this?
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That's your casual ticket.
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00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:45,060
Don't mad at me for it, all right? You
know, the only reason we don't have any
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more money is because I bought us lunch.
You spent $50 on a couple of ding
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00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:55,020
-dongs. Wait, look, is it my fault that
they don't put what their money's worth
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00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:58,840
on the money? Hey, why are you walking
so fast? It's 400 miles to Paris.
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00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,720
400 miles? We got four days. That's, uh,
70 miles a day.
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00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:05,720
You're an idiot.
131
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:07,520
You're right, you're right.
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Kilometers. We're even closer than we
thought.
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00:10:12,030 --> 00:10:14,450
Mr. Stiver, you can relax.
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00:10:14,710 --> 00:10:16,610
We straightened out everything.
135
00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:17,709
Certainly hope so.
136
00:10:17,710 --> 00:10:20,250
Well, it is actually quite amusing.
137
00:10:21,630 --> 00:10:26,690
You see, the same time that Madame
Stiver, your wife, checked into the
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00:10:26,870 --> 00:10:30,910
another American, Madame Simone, checked
in as... How's Maggie?
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00:10:31,170 --> 00:10:32,170
Who?
140
00:10:32,570 --> 00:10:37,150
My wife, Maggie. How is she? Oh, oh,
she's in surgery. Don't worry about a
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thing.
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Voilà, monsieur, votre enfant.
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There better be an appendix in here.
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00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:14,310
to do your part. I don't like this.
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00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:17,050
Now just look like you're pregnant.
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Perfect.
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00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:31,530
Why are you stopping?
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He doesn't like you either.
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00:11:33,850 --> 00:11:35,530
Kitty, as far as he goes.
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00:11:35,830 --> 00:11:38,310
Oh, I don't think he's going to leave a
pregnant woman out here in the middle of
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nowhere. That's fine. We'll deliver the
baby ourselves.
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00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:43,840
Muchas gracias, senor.
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00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:48,960
A fun.
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00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:51,960
Los americanos.
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Oh, oh, oh, you smell that?
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Pardon me, I've been on the road.
157
00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:00,820
No, no, not you, something good.
158
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,720
Hey, come on, it's over here. Come on,
to the right.
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00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:05,800
About a hundred yards.
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00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:09,600
Three of the basic food groups, I can
smell them.
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00:12:15,910 --> 00:12:18,230
Oh, the dress is beautiful.
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Oh, the dresses are great.
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00:12:26,410 --> 00:12:27,410
What's that one?
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Lobster.
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00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,210
Are you serious?
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00:12:31,810 --> 00:12:32,810
Who?
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00:12:33,350 --> 00:12:37,090
We are not going to crash someone's
wedding. I'm not eating its food.
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00:12:38,210 --> 00:12:39,490
Aren't you going to have any clams?
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Not that one, the big one.
170
00:12:44,450 --> 00:12:45,450
Hola.
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00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:47,910
¿Los puedo ayudar en algo?
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00:12:48,330 --> 00:12:49,330
Let's go, Mike.
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00:12:49,390 --> 00:12:54,750
Sí, sí, sí. We are American relativos.
El cousin of the grumo.
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I'm leaving, Mike.
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00:12:56,390 --> 00:12:57,770
My wife just had a baby.
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I did not. I had a knapsack.
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00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:01,570
How do you say husband in Spanish?
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00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,150
Esposo. We're with the esposo.
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00:13:05,270 --> 00:13:07,630
Thank you for inviting us to your homo.
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El pequeño.
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What do you think?
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I like you.
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00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:20,720
Okay, we'll tell them that the airline's
lost our gift.
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00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:44,140
Por favor, quédense y coman todo lo que
quieran.
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00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:45,700
What? What?
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00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,880
They've invited us to stay and eat.
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00:13:48,820 --> 00:13:50,020
Gracias, gracias.
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00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:51,440
¿Qué más sabe? Gracias.
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00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,340
I'm crazy, huh? I had that guy wrapped
around my finger.
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00:13:58,660 --> 00:14:00,480
Never mind.
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00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:06,420
Amy,
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00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:07,900
I think we better dance.
193
00:14:08,470 --> 00:14:09,690
Forget it. I don't dance.
194
00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:11,170
You're kidding. Why not?
195
00:14:11,770 --> 00:14:13,090
I don't dance, okay?
196
00:14:13,590 --> 00:14:14,590
Why?
197
00:14:15,130 --> 00:14:17,530
I haven't been asked that much. It
doesn't matter anyway.
198
00:14:17,830 --> 00:14:20,510
Well, look, I'm not asking you. I'm
telling you. Come on. Hi.
199
00:14:24,650 --> 00:14:25,650
Right foot first.
200
00:14:28,230 --> 00:14:29,230
Bend your elbow.
201
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:32,740
Today's forecast, 46 degrees, with sleet
on the way, a bizarre day weather
202
00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:37,500
-wise, as every major European city is
overcast and rainy, except for
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00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,540
where it's a warm and beautiful 82.
204
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:41,240
Good evening.
205
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:45,740
What'd she say?
206
00:15:45,980 --> 00:15:49,180
She said it's not fair. She hates her
life.
207
00:15:50,420 --> 00:15:52,620
You sound like a bunch of gibberish to
me.
208
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:53,880
As always.
209
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:58,280
My wife is fine.
210
00:15:58,580 --> 00:16:01,980
Although she will have to stay here for
the rest of the week. She's still in
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00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:02,699
some pain.
212
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:03,740
But you found the right woman.
213
00:16:04,060 --> 00:16:07,500
You got her. I mean, blonde, about this
tall, probably very cranky by now.
214
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:08,700
Oh, that's her, all right.
215
00:16:09,660 --> 00:16:11,220
She's fine? The operation went well?
216
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,580
Oh, yes, yes. It went perfectly.
217
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:14,800
No complications.
218
00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:18,140
Without getting too technical... It's
all right.
219
00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:20,180
I'm a doctor also.
220
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:23,660
Oh, I didn't realize this.
221
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:26,820
So you understand about our little screw
-up.
222
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:31,880
No, I don't. No, frankly, I don't. No, I
have never seen a hospital run quite
223
00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:32,859
this badly.
224
00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:34,860
I'd be ashamed to practice in a place
like this.
225
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,380
What is your specialty, Dr. Siva?
226
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:39,800
Psychiatry.
227
00:16:40,940 --> 00:16:44,200
Perhaps you could have talked the
appendix out.
228
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,520
Honey, it is you.
229
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:53,220
Jason.
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00:16:53,550 --> 00:16:57,050
Is it a boy or a girl? Shh. Don't let
anybody hear you say that.
231
00:16:58,790 --> 00:17:00,490
It's an appendix, and you're going to be
fine.
232
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:02,370
Oh.
233
00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:06,010
Oh, yes, I remember. I'm in a hospital.
Yes.
234
00:17:06,690 --> 00:17:07,690
In Paris.
235
00:17:08,030 --> 00:17:10,950
Mm -hmm. And you look, honey, wonderful.
236
00:17:12,210 --> 00:17:13,869
I bet even your stitches are cute.
237
00:17:15,349 --> 00:17:16,510
Yeah, I was right.
238
00:17:18,609 --> 00:17:20,730
Jason, why does this have to happen now?
239
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:22,980
It could have been worse. We could have
been parents again.
240
00:17:24,579 --> 00:17:25,579
Long story.
241
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:27,980
Jason, our anniversary.
242
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,160
How long do I have to stay here? About a
week.
243
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,880
We can't have our anniversary dinner at
Henri's.
244
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:40,360
Oh, no, you haven't ruined a thing. Come
on. We're together. We're in Paris.
245
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:41,640
Huh?
246
00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:42,980
Voila.
247
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,400
Look, I'll...
248
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:53,640
You just can't admit that it was my
cunning that got us fed.
249
00:17:55,420 --> 00:17:56,420
Hey, you're smiling.
250
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,800
You do realize how lucky you are to be
under my wing.
251
00:18:00,140 --> 00:18:01,280
Yeah, I sure do.
252
00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:04,240
You know, there's a lot of tricks I
could teach you.
253
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:06,820
Before you know it, you'd wind up having
a good time.
254
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,500
Let's say I'll settle for the best of a
bad situation.
255
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,800
Uh -oh. But what it's worth, Amy, you're
not the Doug you think you are.
256
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:15,340
Boy, and I mean that pretty much the way
it sounds.
257
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,460
me. I don't need a language.
258
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:38,240
Oh, got the pillow, please.
259
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:39,800
This is for me.
260
00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:48,040
I'm here for her sake, so I would like
to be sitting instead.
261
00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:54,830
Excusez, excusez, va -va -voom.
262
00:18:58,730 --> 00:19:02,590
Jason, what is going on? It took me
nearly two hours to go to sleep.
263
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:06,330
So if you're going to insist on staying
here... Honey, honey, no need for long
264
00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:08,630
thank yous. I know what me being here
means to you.
265
00:19:47,809 --> 00:19:54,010
I don't believe this.
266
00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:56,410
You brought us right back where we
started.
267
00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:59,950
Oh, no, I didn't. We're miles from where
that hotel was where that guy was
268
00:19:59,950 --> 00:20:00,950
trying to kill me.
269
00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:14,260
I have known that any guy whose IQ is
less than his waist size is useless.
270
00:20:14,660 --> 00:20:15,680
Oh, I am not useless.
271
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,840
Okay, name one thing, just one thing
that you've done right since we got to
272
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,880
Spain. All right, well, unlike you, I
did not move my wallet in that truck.
273
00:20:23,500 --> 00:20:25,560
I have it right here.
274
00:20:31,180 --> 00:20:32,180
Would you slow down?
275
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,720
Oh, oh, fine. You didn't thank me for
the food, so why should you thank me for
276
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:36,299
the wallet?
277
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:39,860
You didn't get the food. I did. That guy
was going to crush your head like a
278
00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:42,460
melon. How can somebody kid themselves
like this?
279
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:43,740
Look, would you hold on a second?
280
00:20:44,380 --> 00:20:46,540
Look, I can try to get in touch with my
parents again.
281
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:50,380
Come on, Mike. We both know this whole
parent thing is just a big joke.
282
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,900
Yeah, I know, but at least they've got
money.
283
00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:56,060
I'm calling for Dr. Jason Seaver.
284
00:20:58,240 --> 00:20:59,540
What do you mean he's checked out?
285
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:01,780
No forwarding address?
286
00:21:03,140 --> 00:21:04,260
Thank you.
287
00:21:05,860 --> 00:21:10,480
On my itinerary right now, I made this
little... church in Corvée.
288
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:12,560
Not that it's any great landmark.
289
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,100
My grandparents were married there.
290
00:21:15,300 --> 00:21:17,980
Look, can I borrow one of those little
coins with pictures of Elvis on it?
291
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,740
That's King Juan Carlos.
292
00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:22,200
Hey, look, in my book, there's only one
king.
293
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,840
Oh, so now you want to borrow my very
last Mercedes.
294
00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:26,340
Thank you.
295
00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:28,540
Gotta find out where they are.
296
00:21:53,710 --> 00:21:54,710
not from you.
297
00:21:55,970 --> 00:21:57,430
So what are you going to do, Chrissy?
298
00:21:57,850 --> 00:21:59,370
I accept the charges.
299
00:22:00,570 --> 00:22:01,570
Is that Mike?
300
00:22:02,350 --> 00:22:04,530
No, it's for me and it's private. Get
out!
301
00:22:06,210 --> 00:22:07,410
It is Mike.
302
00:22:08,510 --> 00:22:09,489
Nice, Carol.
303
00:22:09,490 --> 00:22:10,970
You just hung up on Mom and Dad.
304
00:22:11,970 --> 00:22:12,970
What?
305
00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:14,150
Oh,
306
00:22:15,770 --> 00:22:16,749
she hung up.
307
00:22:16,750 --> 00:22:17,750
Amy?
308
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,900
I mean, I am not used to being treated
like this! Amy, don't worry, I'm here.
309
00:22:55,260 --> 00:22:56,500
No! Take it away!
310
00:22:57,260 --> 00:23:02,700
Just close your eyes, you know, you can
almost hear the sound of a concertina
311
00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:04,180
echoing across the thing.
312
00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:07,740
All I can hear is my drip bag.
313
00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:15,240
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Maurice, where's the
brake on this thing?
23832
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