All language subtitles for growing_pains_s05e25_ben_s_movie

Oh, sweetheart.

You know, I was just thinking, with
Carol working late and Chrissy asleep,

out doing God knows what.

You and I have this whole house to
ourselves.

Jason, it's not even dark out.

I know.

I can't wait.

This is my favorite re -run of Tag Me
and Lacey.

Spread them, clown!

Never mind.

Sounds like your son's in trouble again.

Yeah, let's get him in here and make him
watch Cagney and Lacey.

What the heck's going on out here? Why
is there sand all over the driveway? And

it's 40 degrees out. What are you girls
doing in bathing suits?

Because we were stupid enough to believe
that Ben was a serious filmmaker, like

Sylvester Stallone.

Ben,

what do you have to say for yourself?

Yo.

Let's go, ladies.

Talk now.

Well, see, I was just finishing my movie
for English class when Laurel and got

the crazy idea that I was just doing the
movie so I could, um... So you could

grope me.

If you're gonna leave, leave!

Women can be so nuts. Wrong parent, Ben.

Women can be so nuts. Wrong driveway,
Ben.

I thought you were going to do a
documentary about me, a working mother

to balance career and home.

Face it, Mom, no one's interested in
that.

So you cast up something worthwhile like
that to do girls in bathing suits?

Jason, can you believe this? Your
mother's got a point, Ben. There's

wrong with doing a boring movie.

The stuff on that tape, I haven't edited
out yet. Yeah, I just bet there is.

Well, what are you guys watching?

Ben's movie for English class.

What? Ben, you said you'd tell me when
that was done so I could see how it came

out. So you knew? You knew he wasn't
making the documentary about Me Too?

Well, I was there when Dad talked him
out of it.

Popcorn!

Jason, we are about to start the tape.

Ben, it's rated R! Come on, you admit
it's dirty.

No, I don't. It's just no kid wants to
watch a movie anymore if it's not rated

R. Oh, I bet your movie's rated R. I'm
watching it.

Well, Maggie, speaking as your husband,
Jason, it sure has been a great Florida

vacation, considering it's 1978 and
we're a typical American family.

And me being a working mom trying to
balance a career and home.

Those parents supposed to be us?

Well... Seems like it would have been
simpler to just write your movie parents

like your real parents.

They're kidding, right?

Either you get it or you don't.

Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

Jason, everything is so perfect.

The sunshine, the good times, the
oranges.

How could possibly go wrong?

Hey, Maggie, look. Baby alligators for
50 cents each.

Alligator little, uh, little, uh, what's
his name?

Jason, that is our son. you are talking
about?

You'll have to give me a little bit more
of a hint of that.

Hey, stop all the hammering. We're
trying to make a movie here.

But Baby Alligator is so cute.

Oh, yeah, and the best part, Maggie, is
I got a ten -cent discount because he

only has one eye.

The parts in the stew. Keep your shirt
on.

Yes, please.

Happy now?

Well, honey, tell your husband, Jason,
it sure is a beautiful day for 1990, as

it's being a typical American family.

Jason, honey, wasn't it worth trying to
make a beautiful day for... 1990,

considering we're a typical American
family.

Jason, I thought you were going to make
breakfast today.

I mean, after all, I am a working mother
trying to balance a career and home.

I need one of you guys to sign my report
card.

Oh, well, shouldn't it be one of your
parents?

You've got to go to my parents.

Oh, right.

Jim. Yes, Jim, Jim.

My, Jim, haven't you grown over the last
12 years?

since we bought that alligator and
flushed him down the toilet and haven't

thought of since.

Don't you think that we should check his
report card before we sign it?

Why, dear, little Tim has turned out
just fine.

Jim! Jim!

We named you. We can change it.

Yes.

Well, son, to show you that I have no
hard feelings about these selfish

outbursts, I'm going to reward you for
all these fine C's.

Here's a coupon for, uh... For six cents
off of a tidy flush, which you can use

to clean the toilet bowl where we
flushed your alligator 12 years ago and

haven't thought of it.

Sorry. I didn't do it.

Shut up. We'll shoot this thing.

Sorry I'm late, Ms. Merkin. Here's my
report card.

Card.

You new here?

I'm Jim Jenkins.

Well, how long have you been in my
class?

Eight years. Eight years? How come I've
never seen you before?

You have seen me. Every day when we have
this conversation.

Oh. Well, then stop being so bland.

Yes, ma 'am.

Oh, this is getting old.

My parents don't know me. My teacher
doesn't know me.

You can't sit there. My best friend Jim
Jenkins usually sits there.

I am Jim Jenkins.

Sorry, Jim. You're just so darn
forgettable.

Well, don't forget who you are, skunky.

That's because I smell.

Ooh, here comes Bambi, the hottest, most
beautiful girl in school. She's got the

body of a 5 '8'' beauty on a 4 '8''
frame.

You're not going to use that, are you?
Not only is she beautiful, she's smart.

She's today's woman with the right
combination of savvy style and

and the giddiness that makes me dizzy.

Who are you?

I'm Jim Jenkins.

I've been going to school with you for
eight years.

I knew you before you had breasts.

Who had breasts?

Shut up, Stinky. That's her line.

I'm not going to say that, Ben.

Hey, a breast is a part of a chicken.
The most popular part, I believe.

Benny, you're not helping yourself here.

I have a wardrobe question.

Why am I wearing a bathing suit in
class?

Because you're going to the beach later.

But would my character know that yet?

Laura, Laura, Laura.

See, this girl Bambi isn't like you at
all. She's just a dumb bimbo.

But you said she was a savvy, stylish,
sophisticated woman.

I didn't say that. Jim said that.

See, he was just lying. He'd do anything
to get a chance to grope her.

Is that fleas?

Hey, he disgusts me, too.

But I'll do my best to play him.

Yeah.

Okay.

Everyone forgetting my name.

I hate school.

I think I'm going to drop out.

Don't be a fool. Stay in school.

Dropouts just take their future and
flush it down the toilet.

Much like that one -eyed alligator.

Oh, great.

Don't be a fool. Stay in school.

Dropouts just take their future and drop
it.

Don't be a fool. Stay in school.

Dropouts just take their future and
flush it down the toilet.

Much like that one -eyed alligator your
parents bought for you 12 years ago and

never thought of since.

God, Stinky, I'm glad we had this little
talk. I'm going to stay in school.

Speaking of dizzy, want to think about
blondes first or redheads?

I don't care who we think about. I have
to get my mind off a beautiful Bambi.

Just stick to the script.

I'm sure someday, Jim, you'll do
something to make her notice you.

big. Something great.

Till then, you can dream.

I can go to the camp.

At least open the window a crack in
there, Jim.

Skunky?

Skunky, you okay in there?

Skunky?

Skunky!

Skunky, what happened? You're just
ahead.

An alligator came out of the toilet and
ate me.

Why didn't you run?

I didn't see him coming. I don't have
eyes in the back of my head.

Come to think of it, I don't have
anything in the back of my head.

Jim, I only have time to give you this
one warning.

All the alligators that were flushed
down the toilets by American parents who

haven't thought of them since have come
home to Ruth.

Well,

as your husband, Maggie, I sure am glad
that we have a typical American family

with two cars, a beautiful home, and a
child of some sort.

And a big green dog.

Come on, Dad.

Skunky Mulligan just got eaten by a
gator that climbed out of our toilet.

for your lives!

Well, if you were our... I'm sorry,
young man, but our son isn't here to

with you.

I am your Skunky Mulligan just got eaten
by a gator that came out of our toilet.

I'm sorry, young man, but our son isn't
here to play with you.

I am your son, Jim.

Well, if you were my son, you would know
my name isn't Jim. It's Jason.

This is our son, Jason.

We don't have a son, Jason. That's my
name.

When you two are trying to figure out
who you are, an alligator could come

through the living room.

Well, if it did, our big green dog would
get him.

My parents wouldn't believe me. And no
one else knows

who I am.

Who can I tell about this?

Operator, give me the number for 911.

Oh, yeah.

This is President Bush.

That's who you get when you dial 911.

Well, I got tired of giving out the
time. By the way, it's 1 .15 in 30

Look, Mr.

President, a grave danger threatens the
whole planet. There are alligators

everywhere.

This is Vice President Quayle again,
isn't it?

No, this is Jim Jenkins, and I'm
serious, okay?

Look, I...

You've got to help call the Army.

You've got to call the Army, the Navy,
even the Air Force.

Now, as your president, let me assure
you that you have nothing to worry

Jason, we have to go to the bathroom.

I don't.

Yes, you do.

Well, look before you sit.

Man, for people who want to see my
movie, they're sure taking a long time

bathroom. Benny, they're not in the
bathroom.

But they said they had to... Trust me.

It's their own parents' trick. They're
talking about you.

You think?

They have a lot to talk about, Ben.

You're one thick little...

Okay, Maggie, you were right about Ben.

His hornballosity has gotten out of
hand.

You're wrong, Jason.

I agreed with you, Maggie. How can I be
wrong? I was wrong.

Then I'm not wrong. Of course you are.
Haven't you been listening?

Jason, would Ben spend all this time,
money, and effort with a cast of

just to make out with Laura Lynn?

Heck, I would.

Not Laura Lynn. I mean, if I were a
young boy and you were a young girl.

Not that you're not a young girl,
Maggie.

Jason, think about it. A kid nobody
listens to. People, his parents ignoring

him. So he's got to save the world on
his own.

Honey, this movie is a cry for help.
It's a cry for something.

I stood on that ledge for an hour,
thinking if I couldn't save the world,

least I could populate a new one with
Bambi.

Luckily, I had a plane.

Well, well, the engine looks okay.

Now, I'll just get into the cockpit
and... Dad, you...

Okay, let's see what this baby can do.

Where could she be?

Where could she be?

as fine as ever.

Five foot eight inch beauty on a four
foot eight inch frame.

That's more like a four inch frame to
me.

And there they are.

I could look for a safe place to land,
but then I'd be too late.

Or risk everything they've been.

It was a close call.

Hey,

everybody run for your lives!

Who are you?

I'm Jim Jenkins.

I've been going to school with you
before you had breasts.

Oh, yeah, you're the bad boy whose
parents flushed the alligator down the

and haven't thought of it since.

Yeah, well, they're back, and they're
bad.

I'll protect you.

If you save my life, I'll show you my
appreciation.

Yeah, Bambi.

You feel like catching a little shut
-eye, too?

Jim! You know my name?

Nobody on Earth knows who I am, and you
do?

I was your gator, Jim.

Remember me?

Flush.

You'd be surprised what you pick up in
the sewers, Jim.

What are you doing killing people?

We never meant to kill anyone.

We just want what everybody wants.

Enough to eat. A decent neighborhood to
raise our kids in.

And I want this guy here to get an A on
this film project.

Well, why don't you just swim for the
open water? Where the ocean's clean and

there's plenty of fish.

What a great idea.

And as for me getting an A, it's all in
Mr. Bloomberg's hands.

Well, he's a great guy, and he won't let
me down.

Come on, guys.

Jim, you're my hero. How can I ever
thank you?

Well,

your mother's got a point, Ben. There's
nothing wrong with doing a boring movie.

That's enough, Ben. I think this is
where we came in.

Hey, it's a well -known fact that
cameras can lie.

Yeah, so can 13 -year -old boys.

We're going to have a little talk about
respecting women.

Jason, please.

Ben, I know what you were trying to do.

You do?

Yes. You were feeling ignored and
insignificant.

I was?

And why shouldn't you? You're not the
oldest, you're not the youngest, and

you're certainly not the smartest. Mom,
you're depressing me.

I'm just saying, honey, I know that you
made this movie to be noticed.

I did?

Well, it's either that or you're one
thick little puppy.

That's how I vote.

What? Ben, I think you made this movie
just so you could kiss your girlfriend.

Okay, you got me.

What, so this wasn't a cry for help?

In a way. I don't understand males.

Well, you're not going to learn anything
watching Cagney and Lacey.

And I don't understand women.

Cagney and Lacey can't help you there
either.

Jason, you're not saying that you're
actually proud of your son's behavior.

No, I'm not, Maggie. I want Ben to learn
to respect women. As human beings, not

as sex objects.

Cutie.

Can I at least finish my movie? There's
another scene?

Yeah, it's the big scene.

The big finish.

And I was going to ask you and Dad to be
in it.

Yeah, right, Ben.

And I'm the President of the United
States.

Here's your Medal of Honor, Jim.

For bravery above and beyond the call of
duty.

Thank you very much, Mr. President. May
I say something, young man?

Well, see, Miss Bush, you don't actually
have any lines here. Oh, fine.

But you see, any time an upstanding
American boy tries to kiss an American

under false pretenses, it's wrong. Got
it?

Yes, Mom.

And you'll find that young American
women are far too clever to fall for

silly ploys.

Ben, you're shooting a scene without me?

What are you doing here?

Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. President.

Your movie was kind of a video love
letter to me.

The savvy, stylish, sophisticated woman
whose giddiness makes you dizzy.

You didn't want to grope me at all.

Finally, we understand each other.

I'm ready to go back to work now.

Well, what are we wasting our time on
this deadbeat scene for? Let's go back

the beach.

Ben, what about your movie?

It's over.

Barbara, it looks like you and me have
the White House all to ourselves.

Oh, George.

Could you kiss again? I missed it.

We'll be back in a moment.