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00:00:09,030 --> 00:00:10,810
Attention. Attention, please.
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I am the principal, Willis DeWitt, for
the benefit of those of you who haven't
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bothered to attend a single PTA meeting
in the past four years.
4
00:00:21,510 --> 00:00:23,030
No, no, hold it!
5
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My mom wouldn't miss my graduation for
the world! And she's in that darn
6
00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:29,730
bathroom again!
7
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I don't know you very well.
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She's pregnant? I mean, you see, my
dad... Never mind.
9
00:00:38,890 --> 00:00:39,890
Go away.
10
00:00:40,010 --> 00:00:43,310
I just didn't want to arrive late and
create a scene. We are not going to
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a scene.
12
00:00:46,310 --> 00:00:47,950
Why is everyone staring at us?
13
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Oh, it's your imagination.
14
00:00:49,810 --> 00:00:53,790
I'm sure you all recognize Maggie Malone
from the Channel 19 News.
15
00:00:56,010 --> 00:00:58,630
Here's four seats if we can get this old
lady to move.
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00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:04,830
Go, let's go, let's go. Take them
quickly. Then stop yelling.
17
00:01:05,519 --> 00:01:08,680
Excuse me, would you mind moving down?
My wife would love to sit on the aisle.
18
00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:09,860
We heard.
19
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,560
Comfy? Uh, yes.
20
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:28,800
Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered
here today in the Elizabeth Long Diddle
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Memorial Auditorium to pay tribute to
the Dewey High School class of 1988.
22
00:01:35,250 --> 00:01:38,950
And here are your Hooters, standing tall
and proud.
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I did it. I actually did it. I actually
made it through this school.
24
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No, no, I didn't say that. I don't want
to jinx it.
25
00:02:03,930 --> 00:02:07,390
He did it. My baby actually did it.
26
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Mike, you actually made it through high
school.
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Wow. He did it.
28
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I didn't think that. I don't want to
jinx this.
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00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:18,810
I hate this weenie suit.
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00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:41,880
Thank you, Mr. Bowser.
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The Hooter Madrigals have never
sounded... sweeter.
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00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,680
And I wish you well at your new school.
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I'd like to present to you the student
body president, Richard Sebald.
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Mr. Versuccio in detention.
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Past Hooters.
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Future Hooters.
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Carrot Hooters.
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00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:19,320
Welcome.
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Four score and several years ago.
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My baby's graduating.
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Where did the years go?
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In the resulting millennium.
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Turn your head just a little. All right,
now both of you smile.
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00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:41,830
Honey, Mike, he's only a week old. Do
you really think that... Maggie,
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00:04:43,190 --> 00:04:44,870
he was smiling perfectly. Don't talk.
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Oh, honey, you're going to have to be a
little patient with your dad. He's never
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00:04:48,270 --> 00:04:49,310
been a father before.
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00:04:49,530 --> 00:04:51,430
Mikey, say cheese, Mikey.
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Hurry, Jason.
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I want to get just the right expression
on his little... Oh,
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Maggie, you yawn.
52
00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:01,670
I'm sorry, Jason.
53
00:05:02,310 --> 00:05:04,970
Oh, baby, I'm sorry to put you through
this.
54
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All right, I've got lots more film.
55
00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:11,540
You know, he was smiling perfectly in
every shot.
56
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:16,220
Jason, he was not. He was. He's a
smiler. He takes after his mom.
57
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,760
Sweetheart, babies his age do not smile.
58
00:05:19,180 --> 00:05:22,240
No? Well, then why did it look like he
was smiling in every shot?
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00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,480
He has gas.
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00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:27,180
Like I said, he takes after his mom.
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Oh, Jason.
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That was just a little joke just to get
the right expression.
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00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,200
Oh, Jason, there's a baby in our room.
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I'll call the police.
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00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:47,660
Here comes Mommy.
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00:05:49,180 --> 00:05:53,960
Honey, if only you weren't
breastfeeding. Boy, I'd sure like to
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I know, too.
68
00:05:56,260 --> 00:05:58,320
Hey, little guy.
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You ready for your midnight snack?
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Oh,
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I thought so. I thought so.
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Yes, I thought so.
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Chow down, big guy.
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Boy, you're hungry.
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00:06:20,820 --> 00:06:21,860
Want to know a secret?
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00:06:22,980 --> 00:06:26,180
I don't mind getting up in the middle of
the night for you at all.
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In fact, I kind of like it.
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00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:29,460
Yeah?
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Surprise me, too.
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00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,140
Don't tell your father. I like him
feeling guilty.
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00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:38,900
My little guy.
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00:06:40,740 --> 00:06:43,700
Before you know it, we won't be having
these midnight talks anymore.
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00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:50,070
We'll be going off to kindergarten, then
grammar school, then high school, then
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00:06:50,070 --> 00:06:52,210
college, then the White House.
85
00:06:55,810 --> 00:06:59,770
In his annual State of the Union address
to the Congress, President Nixon today
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promised a speedy end to the war in
Vietnam.
87
00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:03,670
Yeah, right.
88
00:07:05,290 --> 00:07:07,990
Oh, kick me a little, Republican, you.
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00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:20,230
Will I tell your daddy when he gets
home?
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00:07:20,470 --> 00:07:24,830
The president concluded his speech with
the promise to bring the boys home
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00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:26,510
before the end of this year.
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You'd better.
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00:08:23,390 --> 00:08:24,470
He's great.
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Ask not what your school can do for you.
Ask what your school can do for your
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country.
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Thank you.
97
00:08:38,570 --> 00:08:40,710
Bob, it wasn't that great a speech.
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What? What the hell am I applauding for?
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It doesn't matter. My son is graduating.
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00:08:57,339 --> 00:09:00,000
Hey, Mikey, Mikey, what are you doing?
101
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Reading.
102
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:04,320
But we don't tear books apart.
103
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,340
No, books are our friend.
104
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I'm sorry.
105
00:09:08,420 --> 00:09:12,480
Okay, then. You come up here, sit on
Daddy's knee, because I'm going to read
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a story. No.
107
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:18,000
Yeah. Come on, I want you to see what
wonderful worlds there are inside these
108
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books. No.
109
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No, no, no, no. Shh.
110
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You're going to wake up Carol.
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No.
112
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Michael, come on. Now, what have you got
against books? I hate them. I want to
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play. Hey, but you're going to need
books, you know, for your education.
114
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:37,670
No, I'm not going to school. I'll be
fine.
115
00:09:39,150 --> 00:09:42,630
Okay, but then what are you going to do
to earn a living when you grow up?
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Play.
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00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:49,530
Oh, come on, Mikey. You're going to love
your first day at school.
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I wish I was old enough to go to school.
Shut up, Carol.
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No, yes.
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00:09:55,850 --> 00:09:57,590
Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, kids, kids.
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Mikey, you'll see how much fun it is.
122
00:10:01,290 --> 00:10:03,310
That's what he said when we went to the
dentist.
123
00:10:04,510 --> 00:10:07,810
Come on, now, look over there. There's
another little boy just your age. He's
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all dressed up for school, and he looks
so happy.
125
00:10:10,930 --> 00:10:12,870
Oh, come on, Mikey. You're going to miss
the bus.
126
00:10:13,170 --> 00:10:16,110
Dad, Mom, could you let me go to the bus
by myself?
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00:10:16,390 --> 00:10:18,170
I don't want to look like a wimp.
128
00:10:19,010 --> 00:10:22,330
Oh, but, honey, you have to cross the
street, and I just... Oh, sure, Mikey.
129
00:10:23,270 --> 00:10:24,270
Yeah.
130
00:10:24,430 --> 00:10:27,840
Well... Okay, Mikey. Have a great first
day.
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Help
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you.
133
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,460
You're fine, honey.
134
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Yeah, right.
135
00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:03,599
Stupid name.
136
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,560
Yeah, yeah it is. I hate it.
137
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,120
Mr. Bone?
138
00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:10,100
Boney? Bone?
139
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:03,800
you today. I thought about you all the
time. Oh, how was school today?
140
00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:07,260
I must have the best dad on earth.
141
00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:08,640
How was school?
142
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,300
I love you, Dad.
143
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Mike, come on. I was asking you how...
Oh, I love you, too.
144
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:16,720
Hi, honey.
145
00:12:16,940 --> 00:12:17,940
Oh, hiya, sweetheart.
146
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:25,000
Mikey, did you tell your dad about your
report card?
147
00:12:25,660 --> 00:12:26,660
Uh, oh.
148
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,180
Oh.
149
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Go ahead, Mikey.
150
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,480
I love you, Mommy.
151
00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:39,620
Well, that won't work on us, sweetheart.
We aren't stupid.
152
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,260
It worked on...
153
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,980
Thank you for that. A stirring song.
154
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:07,580
Stirring ending.
155
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:17,000
Well, I see no reason to prolong this,
Aggie. I keep our nervous graduates in
156
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suspense.
157
00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:22,080
A diploma.
158
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,200
This is it.
159
00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:29,340
This is it.
160
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,160
This is it.
161
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:32,620
This is it.
162
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If he thinks he's getting this armrest,
he's crazy.
163
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,700
I didn't do it. I didn't touch that
woman. I swear.
164
00:14:14,510 --> 00:14:15,510
Would you hurry up?
165
00:14:17,370 --> 00:14:18,510
Accidents will happen.
166
00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:21,070
I want those diplomas now or you're
gone.
167
00:14:22,210 --> 00:14:23,750
I'm doing the best I can.
168
00:14:24,010 --> 00:14:25,830
Oh, how would you survive if you had to
get a real job?
169
00:14:27,650 --> 00:14:28,650
I know.
170
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:30,070
Why don't we have Mr.
171
00:14:30,350 --> 00:14:32,750
Bowser's Hooter Madrigal do another
little ditty for us, huh?
172
00:14:51,860 --> 00:14:55,580
Class, I'll be calling your names in
alphabetical order.
173
00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:59,000
Edward, Cornelius, Zeph.
174
00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:00,800
Get down here, mister.
175
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:03,680
Cornelius.
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00:15:05,940 --> 00:15:06,940
Zeph.
177
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,960
Now you sit down, mister.
178
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:10,680
Estelle.
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00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:14,200
Estelle. I thought these were in
alphabetical order.
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00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:15,780
I know you did.
181
00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:21,620
This is just great. Mr.
182
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,640
Zeph, what, do you need an engraved
invitation?
183
00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:36,780
This is the perfect graduation for Mike.
184
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,000
Why?
185
00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:39,600
Because it stinks.
186
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:44,740
Carol, you've got something stuck
between your teeth.
187
00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:47,020
What? Yeah, and it's really...
188
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:51,870
There's nothing in between my teeth.
189
00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:54,650
So there's nothing in between your ears
either.
190
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:58,030
Fine, the thin mark.
191
00:15:59,190 --> 00:16:00,190
What's this?
192
00:16:00,810 --> 00:16:02,490
For Carol, personal.
193
00:16:02,730 --> 00:16:05,510
P -U -R -S -I -N -A -L.
194
00:16:06,210 --> 00:16:07,310
It's for Mike.
195
00:16:12,630 --> 00:16:17,070
Okay, sucker, you owe me 50 bucks plus
interest from July 4th, 1976.
196
00:16:17,830 --> 00:16:18,830
Mike.
197
00:16:21,550 --> 00:16:23,430
July 4th, 1976?
198
00:16:24,470 --> 00:16:25,530
That's what I said.
199
00:16:28,870 --> 00:16:30,530
Honey, look at the tall ships.
200
00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:33,690
Oh, wow, that's beautiful.
201
00:16:34,190 --> 00:16:35,570
See, Mommy? Daddy's right.
202
00:16:35,790 --> 00:16:37,130
We don't need color.
203
00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:39,110
Thanks, Mikey.
204
00:16:40,070 --> 00:16:44,810
This historic day, President Ford is
mounting the steps of the podium to...
205
00:16:44,810 --> 00:16:45,810
Oops.
206
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:52,200
No, no, no, not until we finish your
reading assignment.
207
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:57,900
Leave him alone, Carol. Your brother has
a lot of catching up to do this summer.
208
00:16:58,060 --> 00:16:59,060
Thank you. Come on, Mikey.
209
00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:00,180
Read this line.
210
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:01,740
I hate this book.
211
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,720
Oh, how do you know? You haven't even
read it.
212
00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:05,300
I heard about it.
213
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,060
I'll just wait for the movie.
214
00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:08,980
Mikey.
215
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:10,119
Okay, okay.
216
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:11,400
Don't help me.
217
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:24,400
wag his tail.
218
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,040
Maggie, did you just... I heard her! She
can read!
219
00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:30,920
Four years old and she can read!
220
00:17:31,140 --> 00:17:32,140
It's a miracle.
221
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,300
Oh, it's fantastic!
222
00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:38,100
Our little genius. Oh, I've got to go
call Mom and Dad. Yes, I'll get the
223
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,100
for you.
224
00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:41,300
Turn the page.
225
00:17:41,540 --> 00:17:43,180
I want to see how it comes out.
226
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:46,000
You've got to make me look bad, don't
you?
227
00:17:46,460 --> 00:17:47,460
Yeah.
228
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:49,020
Big deal.
229
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,420
So what if you can read? It doesn't mean
nothing.
230
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:56,080
it does. It means I'm smart and you're
stupid.
231
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:57,880
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
232
00:17:58,140 --> 00:18:01,860
You're never even gonna graduate. I bet
you 50 bucks I do.
233
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,100
Okay, sucker.
234
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:08,840
Let's graduate.
235
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:10,640
Okay,
236
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:14,920
sucker, you owe me 50 bucks plus
interest from July 4th, 1976.
237
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:16,700
Mike.
238
00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:22,990
Michael Keever.
239
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,410
No way. That's a mistake.
240
00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:29,150
What? What?
241
00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:32,590
Should read Michael Keever. Gee.
242
00:18:37,590 --> 00:18:39,850
You did that on purpose.
243
00:18:40,190 --> 00:18:42,050
Well, Michael, do you want to see my
diploma? What?
244
00:18:42,710 --> 00:18:43,710
Oh, sure.
245
00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:46,590
Bonus to bone?
246
00:18:47,630 --> 00:18:48,630
It's me.
247
00:18:48,790 --> 00:18:50,610
You have a boner on your diploma?
248
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000
Yeah, it cost extra.
249
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,720
I love Bone. Boner was fine when we were
kids, but it can be a pretty stupid
250
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,120
name. Yeah?
251
00:18:59,980 --> 00:19:01,300
Yeah, it is. I hate it.
252
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,360
I mean, Richard's not that bad.
253
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,640
All right. Hey, what about Rick?
254
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:09,500
Rick's the bone.
255
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:10,900
Yeah, I kind of like that.
256
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,780
Of course, my mom's going to have to
change all the tags on my underwear.
257
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,340
Congratulations, ceremony.
258
00:20:08,420 --> 00:20:09,460
No. No.
259
00:20:09,980 --> 00:20:12,660
It can't be all of them. There's got to
be one more.
260
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,340
Let's tell.
261
00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:29,460
Guess I stepped on it.
262
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:31,720
You said it.
263
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:35,880
Michael Aaron.
264
00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:56,650
Oh,
265
00:21:08,830 --> 00:21:12,050
it might be a shame.
266
00:21:36,460 --> 00:21:37,460
and stuff.
267
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:14,279
Enjoying yourself?
268
00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:15,880
Yeah, I'm just relaxing, Dad.
269
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,640
Yeah, good. Well, you better get to bed.
School tomorrow.
270
00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:21,100
Gotcha.
271
00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:24,600
Yeah, well, you know, it's kind of hard
getting used to the idea that all that
272
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:25,680
junk is behind me now.
273
00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:26,900
Well, don't.
274
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:28,120
What?
275
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,840
Mr. DeWitt called. They've rechecked
your records.
276
00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:33,160
Dad. Gotcha again.
277
00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,000
This is fun.
278
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:37,420
Yeah, it's a real hoot.
279
00:22:38,220 --> 00:22:41,820
Well, the truth is you work very hard
and you deserve a rest. That's right.
280
00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:44,900
is your time now to relax and kick back,
have some fun.
281
00:22:45,140 --> 00:22:49,840
Yeah. Especially since the summer
session of Al Flandin Junior College
282
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:50,840
about three weeks.
283
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:54,060
No, no, no, no, no. You didn't get me
that time, Dad.
284
00:22:54,300 --> 00:22:55,720
Well, that time I wasn't joking.
285
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:56,899
You're joking.
286
00:22:56,900 --> 00:22:58,100
No. No.
287
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,620
Well, um, you know, Dad, I've been
wanting to talk to you about that. See,
288
00:23:04,620 --> 00:23:08,040
know that I told you that I was planning
to go to Al Flandin, but... In the last
289
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,280
couple of weeks, I've been doing some
serious thinking, and, well, I think now
290
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,420
is the best time to let you know about
my decision.
291
00:23:13,900 --> 00:23:14,900
What?
292
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:19,700
Well, Boner and I have enlisted in the
Marines.
293
00:23:21,820 --> 00:23:23,600
Mike, what? Wait a minute. Gotcha.
21189
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