All language subtitles for growing_pains_s03e17_the_mom_who_knew_too_much

Ben, do you have to suck up your cereal
like that?

No.

Ben, don't drink out of a bowl.

It was Mike's idea.

Go on, guys, finish up your breakfast.
We've got a lot of chores to do today.

Dad, it's Saturday. I mean, today is my
day to unwind after all the hard work I

put in at school.

Will it hurt you to help me and little
Ben?

Sorry, Dad, I'm tied up today.

Excuse me?

You always say I should make better use
of my time, so I drew up a schedule.

Ben Sievert's Saturday. Morning, watch
cartoons.

Noontime, eat lunch.

Afternoon, play video games.

Late afternoon, light snacks.

Nothing heavy.

Since Ben has absolutely nothing to do
today, he can help you with the chores.

And what exactly do you have planned?

Um...

Well, I wasn't going to tell you, Dad,
but now I guess I have to.

I'm taking some orphans out for burgers.

Forget it, Mike.

Oh, fine, fine. Just break the little
kid's heart.

All right, well, we can begin with an
old favorite, scrubbing out the garage.

Even I didn't buy the orphan bit, Mike.

Hi.

Well, good morning. Oh, don't you look
chic today.

Thanks. Yeah, you're just perfect for
hosing out the garage.

Oh, I'd love to do my share, but the
thing is, I can't. Well, Dad, you want

handle this one or shall I?

Well, we do have a few odd jobs around
the house today, Carol.

Dad, I'd love to do my share, but the
thing is, Mom's in one of her moods

she says we're turning into strangers.

So she has a whole day planned of
shopping, lunch...

And even a visit to her hair salon.

But today is a scheduled fever chore

day, Carol.

Well, Mom got inspired from watching you
bond with Mike and Ben.

Well, thank you. No, that's good. Good.

The good, that's it? That gets Carol out
of all the grunt work?

Mike, I think that it's an important
opportunity here for your sister and

mom to spend some fun time together
bonding. It's good for the relationship.

Can't they bond? while they're scrubbing
the grease stain in the garage?

You're right. It's unfair, and if it
were up to me, I'd be here slaving away

with the guys. But how can I break Mom's
heart, right?

Good morning.

Better get your coat, Carol. We've got a
lot of ground to cover today.

Why do I have the feeling you're going
to exhaust me?

Oh, isn't that cute? I had so many
things that I needed to get done today,

Carol's feeling like we're turning into
strangers, and how can I break her

heart?

Nice, but I wish you had told me. You
know, we had agreed that today would be

Seaver chore day.

We did?

Oh, I'm sorry. It slipped my mind.

You're right.

I'll cancel my appointment at the salon.

Good.

Well, darn it. If I cancel this late,
I'm going to have to pay anyway, and

so expensive.

No, no, no, no.

You just go ahead, then. Yeah, that
would be best.

Well, I don't want to keep you menfolk
from all those sweaty chores you have to

do.

See ya.

Guys, we've been had.

promise me you'll never wear it in
public sweetheart i have enjoyed every

of today oh me too especially the look
on mike ben and dad's face when we

skipped out on shorty that's not nice
you

ever tell your father i was laughing

When are you going to dust that shrink
of yours and run off with me? I mean, ba

-boom, ba -bang, ba -bang. We hit the
open road. What do you say?

After you do my hair.

Mom.

Mom.

Well, you told me you had a daughter,
but this is a full -grown woman with the

face and the curves and the whole thing.

Whoa.

This is Carol. Carol, this is... Rodney,
hi.

Uh -huh.

Who's been doing your hair?

name Brenda.

Look, from now on, nobody but nobody
touches this ad but me.

You got that?

Yeah. Ba -bay.

Well, Maggie, how about this visit? You
take a walk on the wild side

like that.

Oh, well, I don't know.

You tell me that isn't extremely hot.

Well, Carol, what do you think?

About what?

My hair.

You think I should try a different look?

Oh, you're asking me?

Yes. Oh, gee.

Carol, you tell her how delicious it
would look.

Well, well, it's provocatively
scrumptious.

See? Yummy.

Well, if you think so, Carol.

She knows where else she speaks.

I will be back in five.

Mom, that man was flirting with you.

Well, yes.

You knew it?

Of course.

But, but you're, you're a mother.

Carol, it does happen occasionally.

You're kidding me.

Carol, this is silly. Mom, no, it's not.
I want to hear all about it.

You mean you want to hear about every
time some guy innocently flirted with

Yes, I want to hear everything.

Every juicy decision. Disgusting detail.

There is nothing disgusting to tell.

And that's what I'll tell Dad if he ever
asks.

So finish your sordid story.

Well, I forgot where I left off.

Dustin Hoffman was coming on to you.

Well, I didn't exactly say he was coming
on to me.

He was promoting Midnight Cowboy at this
press conference. This was years ago

when I worked at Newsweek.

Dustin Hoffman. And I was sitting in the
back of this crowd of reporters waiting

for him when I had to go to the
bathroom.

So out in the hallway, who do I run into
face to face?

Dustin Hoffman.

Yes. And he looked me right behind and
said, is this the way to the press

conference?

And?

And what?

And that's all he said?

Well, what else could he say? We were in
the office hallway for crying out loud.

Mom, that's not much of a story.

Yeah, but it's all mine.

Here you go, ladies.

Oh, thank you, Izzy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the juice is for the kid. We got it.

Enjoy.

I mean, Mom, I was expecting something
really sleazy.

Sleazy? Yeah, you know, like Joan
Collins kind of stuff.

Have something that you've never told
anyone?

Something you've been keeping for all
these years?

Well, sure, everybody does. Oh, tell me.
Carol. Mom, it's just between us,

across my heart.

You know, when you were a baby, I used
to imagine the day when you and I would

be trading secrets like sisters.

I hope that's not your secret.

Okay, for your ears only. Of course.

Two years ago, At that neighborhood
picnic, Bud Kuzman tried to kiss me on

back porch.

Well, what happened?

Well, I told him to behave himself, and
he got very embarrassed, and he

apologized and begged me never to tell
your father.

Then he threw up.

Did you tell Dad?

No, there was no reason to get your
father upset, and you promised never to

a word.

Oh, I won't.

Okay. Okay, now it's your turn to share.
All right.

Remember the Saturday night last month
when Debbie Shelley and I went to the

library and then we spent the night at
Debbie's house?

Yeah.

Well, we didn't study at all.

Yeah. Instead, we took the train into
Manhattan and went to this really neat

dance club in Soho.

Yeah?

It had to be 21 to get into this place.

Debbie and Shirley were about to give
up.

But I was so cool.

I greased the doorman.

Greased? I slipped him $20 to let us in.
I mean, is that neat or what?

It was so great.

We danced till 4 in the morning with
these guys who didn't even speak

took the train back and snuck into her
room and went down to sleep before her

parents ever woke up.

And to this day, no one is any the
wiser.

It's been 50 days.

There's no reason to be so excited.

Mom, what a great day.

Hey, what happened to Stephen Shorten?

What the heck happened to your head,
Carol?

Well, we decided you two were right, so
today's bonding day. And, Carol, you

look gorgeous. You look so grown up.

Well, thanks.

I don't like it.

Maggie.

Hello? Uh, no, sorry, Shelly. Carol
can't talk. She just got out of a wind

tunnel.

Mike, I'll take it upstairs and be sure
to hang it up.

I'll do that right now.

Jason, we need to talk.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey. Your hair looks
great, too.

Sure you should be showing this much
neck in front of the children?

Cute.

I thought so.

What'd you do this time?

Nothing. I've been sitting here with
you.

Well, trouble's in the air, and it
usually lands on you.

In Soho? Yes. Alone?

Yes. In some seedy bar?

Greasing palms and dancing with men who
don't speak English.

Well, I've got to talk to her.

Oh, Jason, you can't. I promised her I'd
never tell anyone what she told me.

What you told me?

But only after you promise never to tell
Carol what I told you.

So what am I supposed to do here? Just
keep my mouth shut and do nothing?

That's right.

But we can't let her get away with that.

Jason, if Carol knows I told you, she'll
never speak to me again.

Look, you're the one that's always
saying that we should communicate with

kids, be open and honest and speak the
same language.

Well, but not in cases where my teenage
daughter is dancing with guys who speak

another language.

Excuse me? What is it?

Is this a bad time?

No, Carol. What is it?

Well, if it's all right, I was going to
go over to Shelly's house to show off my

new hairdo.

Oh, over to Shelly's. Well, from what
I... I think that would be just fine.

Don't you, Jason? You promised.

Okay. Well, great. I'll see you then.

Oh, and I might spend the night, too.

Oh, spend the night like you did when
you took your little field trip to Soho?

You told Dad?

Well, I... Well, of course you told me.
I'm your father.

But it was our secret.

But your mother realized that I had a
right to know.

And I think I trusted you.

Well, she's got to learn that sometimes
it's just necessary to break a

confidence.

Honey?

Carol, wait.

What? I want to explain.

There's nothing for you to explain. It
was my fault. I should never have

you as my equal.

If you're going to take that tone, just
go to your room.

Fine.

And you said you dreamed of the day that
we'd be trading secrets like sisters.

Carol,

that's not fair.

Mom, how would you have felt if I had
told Dad about the Bud Kuzman tryst?

Or even the Dustin Hoffman affair, huh?

What?

Maggie, I don't... Okay, but I know you
had good reasons to do what you did, but

I am not...

Whoa, this is big. I can feel it.

Yeah, you're a dead man.

Can you stop saying that?

Okay.

Who's Dustin Hoffman, anyway?

Oh, he's some actor guy. He was in that
movie where he dressed up like a chick

and kissed some guy.

You're in more trouble than I thought.

Excuse me. Oh, excuse me. Not today.

Maggie, I know you're upset. I know you
also understand that my responsibility

as a parent supersedes my obligation to
keep a confidence.

Of course I do.

Well, good.

Then this is progress.

And I know that you understand that your
handling of the situation was

completely... Okay,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. My emotions got
the best of me.

I'm sure you can understand that.

I certainly can.

Good.

Because right now, my emotions have the
best of me.

Mike, Carol, Ben.

Ben, this doesn't concern Mike. See, I
told you. That just means he'll get to

you later.

I'll sit, but I won't eat.

Mother.

Mother. She called me mother.

Maggie, she doesn't mean that.

Oh, so she's not the only person at this
table who says things they don't mean?

Okay, I think it's time we have a family
talk about this.

I should go.

Don't worry, Mike. I'm the one who's
going to be grounded.

I should stay.

Mike, I said this doesn't concern you.

Well, you said we should have a family
talk, and I believe I am part of this

family. Leave, Mike, and take Ben with
you.

Good going, Mike. You just got me kicked
out of this family, too.

Well, what we need to talk about is why
your mother had a right to...

What we need to talk about is why your
mother had a right to tell me what you

did, and why I had a right to act on
that information.

Uh... Excuse me.

Um, just to be 100 % clear, this has
nothing to do with me whatsoever.

Get out, Mike.

May I be excused, too? No, you may not.

Carol, your mother had a right... No,
she had an obligation to tell me what

did. That's right.

No, not when you promise not to.

What your father is saying, sweetheart,
is that we're your parents. Yes. And

we're responsible for you. Yes. And it
would be a different matter, Dave, if

your father violated my confidence.

Eggs, oh, no.

Yes. No, no. No.

I'm busy.

Carol, it's your father.

I want to apologize for grounding you.

I think I treated you unfairly, and to
make it up to you, I want to buy you a

new car.

Come in, come in.

I was lying.

I'm not really here to apologize at all.
Oh.

Well, what about the new car?

Also a lie.

I just wanted you to feel, if only for a
moment, what it was like, well, when

somebody you trust lies to you.

What about a used car?

Carol, I'm talking about the lie you
told about spending the night at

Like moms lie to me?

Boy, you just won't get off this thing
about your mom telling me what you did,

will you? I just know that mom would be
real mad if I told you even a hint of

the disgusting things that she told me
about.

Honey, there's a difference.

What did she say?

No, never mind. No, I'm not interested.
It wouldn't be right for me to... What's

wrong?

Nothing. Dad, you're in pain.

No, no, I'm fine. I'm great. No, you're
not. I'm fine. I'm... I didn't want

anybody to know. Dad, I...

There's a chance that... There's a
chance I'm developing an ulcer.

Well, are you serious?

Well, it could be if I get agitated or
upset.

Well, Mike is just going to have to move
out.

That's very funny, but... Dad!

We're going to talk more about this
later.

I'm just going to go to the office and
rest for a bit.

Oh, no.

If there's any justice at all, I should
get an Emmy for that.

Mom. Carol.

I need to talk to you first.

Okay.

After you.

Oh, honey, I am sorry I broke my word to
you and told your father. Mom, I don't

care about that.

You don't? No.

He always looks like that when we've
been in a fight.

No, he is in pain. He told me.

What?

It's an ulcer.

He didn't want to worry you.

Jason Roland Seaver.

He's in his office.

It's getting closer, Mike.

End of the world.

Jason, why didn't you tell me?

Four minutes, 15 seconds. Not bad.

What? Hold that thought.

I think there's somebody else who should
be included in this conversation.

What, Carol?

Dad, I don't care if you get mad or not.

Jason, what is this about an ulcer?

Carol, your mom seems to know things
only you and I were supposed to know.

could this be?

Well, you have to worry about how run
down you seem lately, Dad.

Run down?

about this ulcer business.

Ah, but it does matter. Oh, Jason,
that's... Dad, Mom had a right to know.

Oh, so it's okay to violate a
confidence? That's not the point. The

that we're both worried about you and
that's more important. That's right.

Oh.

Oh.

Well, I'm sure you two have things to
talk about.

And even if you don't, I'm leaving now
before you throw something at me.

I hate it when he does that. Me too.

He gets so smug.

But it does matter.

I don't want to laugh. I'm still mad at
you.

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'm sorry I
told your father, but what choice did I

have? I'm your mother.

Yeah, and I should have remembered that
before I opened my mouth.

When I think of what I could have told
Carol...

Yeah, but we did have fun today.

Yeah.

The same, we'll never be able to talk
like that again.

Oh, sure we will, sweetheart, when
you're a little bit older.

Say, when you're in college, maybe
living in a co -ed dorm.

On the other hand, college is such a
tumultuous, crazy, try -it -all period

that, I know, after college, when you
move into your first apartment... We can

meet for lunch and you can tell me about
all the men you're dating and all the

crazy things.

After you're married.

What? And have a baby. Me? Maybe two.

Honey, we'll have so much in common.
We'll have real woman -to -woman bonding

then.

When you come home for Christmas, we can
sit by the fire, sip eggnog, chat after

the grandchildren are put to bed.

Are these your grandchildren or mine?

You're telling me that Carol voluntarily
told Mom that she went to the CD

nightclub? Yep.

Why? Forget why. When does the bomb drop
on Mike?

It doesn't, Ben.

Wow, you know, I never even thought that
Carol would have the guts to cut loose

and boogie with... That's terrible.

Yeah, it is. Why?

Well, because you're supposed to be 21
to get into a place like that.

Then how'd she get in?

Let's see. She probably just had a fake
ID like the one I do.

Thank you