All language subtitles for growing_pains_s03e15_the_marrying_kind

Jeff said I'll always remember this
winter formal as the best night of my

life. You know, I don't even mind that I
had to cough up 50 bucks for this

monkey suit.

Oh, you look so handsome, Bobby. I feel
good looking next to you.

Pardon me?

Well, I mean, I must be good looking to
be going out with someone as totally hot

looking as you.

Oh?

I sure like you in a dress that looks
like it's falling off.

Boy, I'm sure glad you understand me.

Well, you understand me.

I do?

What am I thinking?

I believe we have a record here.

Yes, we do.

Not it.

Oh, Carol, even your shoulders are
blushing there. Oh, except for where

left his white fingerprints, of course.

Michael Seaver, you are the grossest,
rudest, most insensitive... Please,

please. I'll get a big head.

I am not going to let my stupid brother
ruin this perfect evening.

Good, because I had something I wanted
to say.

A little conversation couldn't hurt.

No, no, I mean talking with words.

Oh? You see, I got sort of a surprise.

What? Well, yeah, Kill, I've been
thinking.

Really? Well, no, no.

That's not the surprise.

You see, I love you.

Wow.

Well, I love you, too.

We said it.

We both said it. Oh, we sure did.

Carol, would you be my wife?

Would you marry me?

year after we graduate. You see, if we
don't, then, you know, then I'm going to

get my football scholarship to one place
and you're going to get your real

scholarship to someplace else.

This has been the best year of my whole
life. Yes.

Yes. What?

Why are you shaving and hanging out of
the window?

I'm just trying to see what Carol and
Bobby are doing since I can't hear

anything. They're out on the porch and
they've been out there for 28 minutes in

17 seconds.

Well, I'd like to spend at least that
long telling you how silly you are, but

have to go to the bathroom.

Oh, silly? Am I?

Am I? Is it silly to be worried about
your teenage daughter who's out with her

very first steady boyfriend and who's
wearing a dress I certainly would never

approve of?

If I'd been consulted.

Is that silly? Tell me if that's the...
Go ahead and give me an honest answer.

Okay.

Carol had her heart set on that dress,
Jason.

Honey, if that dress had been cut any
lower, you'd be able to see her heart.

Mom, Dad?

What are you doing?

Well, we don't want Carol to think we
waited up for her. We?

Well, you're awake, aren't you?

you know that I got home okay?

Just now?

How was your first formal?

Oh, wonderful.

And everybody loved my dress.

I'll bet.

Um, Mom, Dad, don't you think that it's
about time that we had Bobby's parents

over for dinner?

Of course, anytime.

Great, I knew you'd say that. I had
Bobby invite them for next Friday night.

Next Friday? Hold on.

What? What's the hurry?

No hurry. Is it a problem?

No, no, no.

Great.

Oh, here, Dad.

Somebody left your shaving mirror in the
bushes.

Darn, Ben.

It's absolutely the most bad thing
that's ever happened.

Is it a real diamond?

Well, of course it's real. That's why
it's so small.

And the 12 of you.

I just heard the dopiest rumor of my
entire life.

Somebody is actually spreading it all
around school that you and Bobby are,

this, engaged.

You mean this is true?

What are you kidding, Carol? I can't
believe it.

Now, come on. You're shucking me, right?

Goodbye, Mom.

Wait a minute, Carol.

You are serious.

Hey, look, come on.

Bobby is the first guy you ever went out
with. So?

So. Look, I'm just saying that, look, I
wouldn't go off and marry the first guy

that I ever dated.

You know what I mean.

Look, I'm just saying, look, say chili
dogs.

Chili dogs were the first food that you
ever ate, okay?

Now, say you ate those day after day
after day, you know? In a couple of

you'd probably be puking your guts out,
right?

You're disgusting.

All right, all right. Forget chili dog.
Let's take pizza.

Mike, Mike, let's not, okay?

I've got to get to class. Just don't
tell Mom and Dad about this before I do

Friday night, okay?

Carol, you're crazy. They're going to
freak. Mom is going to do this until

airborne, and Dad's eyes are just going
to bug out of his head, you know? It

wouldn't be surprising if they just shot
across the room.

Okay, they might react that way at
first, but then once the dust settles,

they'll hear our irrefutable reasons.

And they'll realize just how committed
Bobby and I are.

No, they'll realize that you should be
committed.

Ben, these are Bobby's parents coming
over. I want you on company behavior

tonight. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

If you have to make a rude noise, leave
the room first.

How rude.

Just leave.

How many times are you going to
straighten those pillows?

I just want everything to be perfect.

Gotta leave the room.

I wonder where she gets it.

Wait, Mom.

Using our good silver is a mistake.

But I thought you wanted to impress
them.

Yeah, but our silver could intimidate
them.

Oh, well, then we'll just eat with our
hands and rip the food apart.

Hi, Mr. Seaver. Hi, Dr. Seaver. Carol,
how's it going?

Um, Mom, Dad, these are Bobby's parents.
Oh, yeah.

I'm Kitty.

I'm Maggie.

I'm Jason. I'm Robert.

Well, won't you come in?

We're in.

Well, won't you come in further?

Oh, Carol, it's going just like you
said. They're starting to talk and smile

everything. And my dad, my dad didn't
even start cussing when your mom says

likes Cagney and Lacey.

Let's not wait till after dinner to tell
them.

Let's tell them now.

Okay. Remember, let me talk first.

Uh... I'll talk, Bobby.

Okay, everybody, we have an
announcement.

Wait a minute. I don't want to miss
this.

Kitty, Robert, this is our oldest son.
Mom, it's not important.

Go ahead, Carol.

What's this all about?

Yeah. Is this going to hold up dinner?

First of all, I want you all to know I'm
not pregnant.

What?

Carol! Somebody better explain this.

Carol, what is it?

Okay. Here it goes.

Next... year, a week after graduation,
after Bobby and I have both chosen our

colleges, Bobby and I are getting
married.

They're taking it far better than I
thought.

on how to take advantage of distracted
parents. It just doesn't make any sense.

Not now, Mike. Oh, I was just wondering
if I could go with Boner to this mud

wrestling joint. Fine. Thank you.

Wow.

You knucklehead. What the hell are you
thinking?

I know, Pop. I'm waiting for an answer.

Mom, Dad. Not now, Ben.

I was just going to ask if I could eat
everybody's dessert.

Absolutely not.

Now, discussions are usually much more
productive if we can be calm and

rational. Yes.

Thank you, Dad.

Now, are you all ready to hear our
reason? I don't want to hear caca.

Robert!

Robert! How can you expect us to be calm
and rational? Robert!

What? You're standing on my foot.

But we owe it to our children to hear
them out, all right?

Carol, Bobby, we're sorry. Sorry?

What?

Kids, wait in the kitchen. The grown
-ups need to talk.

But you have to hear... Carol!

We'll talk later.

Jason, these kids walk in here and make
this crazy announcement and you

apologize to them. That is so wrong.

Boy, is that right.

Thank you, Robert. You're a sensible
man.

Robert, you're wrong.

Whoa. We ain't like these people.

We don't have dominating women in our
family.

Excuse me? Let's just say I see where
your daughter gets it.

Wait, wait, wait.

Let's all just catch our breaths here.

Where our daughter gets what?

She's leading Bobby around by the nose
hairs, just like you do Mason here.

What?

I don't know. You know the part of our
plan when we're all supposed to get mad

and let it out?

I don't know, Carol. I think it's
working too good.

I saw what my dad was trying to do. I'm
sure by now he's got them all calmed

down and they're ready to talk.

Well, fine then. You stay right where
you are and we'll go in the steak and

kitchen.

Don't worry, Carol. Everything will be
okay.

Oh, you're so sweet.

You'll think of something.

Hi. Carol, you and Bobby have to go.

Somewhere else.

Where? I got a suggestion.

Just go inside and cool off.

It's not hot in here.

Come on, Bobby.

Okay, honey. You're whipped, kid. You
hear me?

She's got you whipped.

What a night.

What is it with these kids?

They hold hands. They make goo -goo eyes
at each other.

They think they're in love.

Well, it takes a lot more than love to
put up with marriage.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm basting the roast.

She's got you doing the cooking?

No offense, Pally, but you're a bigger
wimp than my kids.

I'm expending some nervous energy trying
to figure out how my smart daughter

could come up with something this
stupid.

So you're saying it's my kid's fault?
Oh, of course it's his fault.

But blame is not the issue here.

We have to deal with them rationally if
we want to make any headway tonight.

Right.

How about if they ever try to see each
other again, we break their legs?

Come on, Robert. Now, what if Kitty's
father had threatened you? What would

have done?

What I did don't matter.

Bobby's different.

With this football scholarship deal,
he's going to be the first one in our

family ever to go to college.

I taught him the game every day after
work.

Look the ball in, Bobby. Look it in.

When we started...

He wasn't much bigger than a football.

Look, I think Carol's a real good kid. I
do.

But she and Bobby haven't been out
there.

They don't know.

And Bobby sure don't need the pressure
of being married before he gets to take

that shot.

Now, don't you think Bobby would respond
a lot better to what you just said than

to yelling?

Yeah.

Yeah, he would.

So, will you tell him?

Look, Carrie, Bobby and Carol are so
different. I mean, they want different

things. And I really think if Carol gave
herself half a chance, she could really

do a whole lot better.

You were going to say better.

But I didn't mean that. I meant smarter.

Yeah, no.

I don't think that's very fair.

I mean, as organs go, the brain isn't
all that important.

You're right, Kitty. I'm very sorry.

All right. Now, is everybody ready to
discuss this situation with reason and

self -possession? Because we certainly
are, right, Chase?

Robert, have you been drinking?

No, we've been based on a roast.

Carol, Bobby, we're ready to hear your
reasons now. We certainly are.

Point one.

By marrying...

first year of college, we'll be able to
take a small apartment off campus

together and therefore save our
wonderful parents a great deal of money.

a financial savings like that is not a
reason to get married. I'm sure I speak

even for your father.

Okay. All right.

Hey, we got a lot more reasons, Carol
Funkup.

Right. Okay.

Point two, you're probably thinking that
we're too young for this, but... I'd

like to point out that we'll be about
the same age that all of you were when

got married. Now, Carol, our situations
are not relevant to yours. You've got to

make your case based on things that are
pertinent only to you and Bobby. But,

Dad, I... Nice move.

You were going to listen to us. Hey,
he's listening.

Look at him.

I'm listening.

So our reasons don't really matter. You
were just treating us like children.

Kids, kids.

I mean people.

This stinks.

And if you ain't gonna listen to me,
then I ain't gonna listen to you either.

But you haven't said anything, Bobby.

That's because Carol's speaking for two.

So she is pregnant.

I am not.

Listen, Bobby, bottom line.

As long as you're living under my roof,
you're gonna do what I say. Yeah? Well,

maybe I better find another roof to live
under.

He had a lovely evening.

Bobby! Carol!

What are you doing here? Carol, I've
learned something about myself tonight.

I am not a man.

Who's, like, good with, um... Words?

Right.

I'm a man who's, uh... Action?

Exactly. See, Carol, this is why we get
along so good. Because you can, like,

you know... Complete your thoughts? Boy,
sometimes it's like you're psycho.

Okay, here it is. You and me, we elope
tonight.

Now? We hit the open road. We're married
before our parents can mess anything

up. Bobby, I don't know. Can you come up
with one good reason why we shouldn't

get married? No, but... Right.

But... But tonight?

Carol, if we're right for each other,
we're right for each other. It doesn't

matter when we get married, does it? No,
but... Carol, I love you.

Well, I love you, too.

So?

What are we gonna do about it?

This is it, Carol.

It's time for, um... Action.

My car's parked on the street.

Oh, great.

Oh, I love you. I love you.

Just think, by this time tomorrow, I'll
be kissing Mrs.

Robert Burnett.

Your mother's coming with us?

No, that'll be you.

Oh.

But I don't want to change my name.

Oh.

I thought you knew that.

No, I... It doesn't matter.

I love you.

Oh, I love you.

Oh, you know what I'm really looking
forward to?

Yeah, me too.

No.

Next year when we get our little
apartment in Boston.

Yeah, where?

Boston, where Harvard is.

Oh, you want to go to Harvard?

It's always been my dream.

I thought we was going to go to a good
school.

You don't think Harvard is a good
school?

No, not in football.

You got your Big Ten schools, Ohio
State, Michigan, Illinois.

What? Well, yeah, I thought you knew
that. That's my dream.

But Harvard is my... It doesn't matter.

I love you.

Was it cold?

Yeah.

I love you. I love you.

Oh, we sure did.

Won't it be great to have breakfast
together every day? Yeah, and dinner

could just see myself rushing home after
football practice. Not that I expect

you do all the cooking, no sir.

Oh, that is so sweet.

We can order out. Burgers, Chinese food,
chili dogs.

Chili dogs?

Yeah, every night if you want.

I love you.

Carol, are you okay?

I'm thinking.

About what?

Chili dogs.

You want something else? You got it.
How's about pizza?

Maybe we're not doing the right thing.

We talked everything out.

Yes. I propose you accept it, right?

Yes. All we're doing is pushing the
wedding date up immediately here.

I'm not so sure about that.

Aren't we always saying how perfect we
are for each other?

I know. Maybe we should just stick to
our original plan. What are you talking

about? What is going to change in a
year?

Name one single thing that's going to
change.

Bobby, I... See, you can't name one
thing that's going to be different.

No, I can't. Right.

So if it's a good idea to get married a
year from now, then it's a good idea to

get married tonight.

If it ain't, then this whole thing's a
mistake.

Oh.

There's so much I didn't think about.

You're not arguing with me.

I... I... I can't.

Yeah.

Well... I should return this.

I'm sure it was expensive.

I'll see you around sometime.

Yeah.

Your jacket.

No.

Oh, Carol, you scared me. But then
again, you always scare me.

Oh, Mike.

It's okay, Carol. It's okay.