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Hey, your tour has just been cancelled.
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I thought you were working late tonight.
I did.
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00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:39,640
Well, you'll be pleased to know that I
did all the dishes, and I put your
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in the oven so it'd be nice and warm for
you when you got home from a long, hard
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00:00:42,060 --> 00:00:43,060
day at the paper.
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00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,520
I did the dishes, and I put your dinner
in the oven.
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00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,300
Yeah, well, who told you to do it?
8
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Thank you, Carol.
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Is your dad in the kitchen?
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00:00:51,140 --> 00:00:52,960
No, he's gone. Left me in charge.
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Where is he?
12
00:00:57,180 --> 00:00:58,720
He's at Ben's school at the Mother's
Club meeting.
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00:00:59,380 --> 00:01:00,380
Tonight?
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00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,580
I know, it sounds a little shaky to me,
too, Mom.
15
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:07,290
I'm so busy with the story. the meeting
completely slipped my mind.
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00:01:08,070 --> 00:01:09,070
Do you believe him?
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Of course.
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Why shouldn't I?
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Well, you know, I'm even a little busy
with the paper, and a man can't get to
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feel a little lonely after... Michael
Aaron Steven. What are you suggesting?
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That a man who leaves his home with two
dozen homemade fudge surprise brownies
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is up to no good.
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Bye,
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Benny.
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00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,490
How's my favorite ten -year -old on the
planet?
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I'm good.
27
00:01:40,410 --> 00:01:42,950
Nice to see you doing your homework, but
isn't it past your bedtime?
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00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:45,450
Yeah. I was waiting up for you.
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00:01:47,550 --> 00:01:50,970
Well, why don't you stay up a few more
minutes and keep me company while I eat?
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00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:52,690
Great.
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00:01:53,070 --> 00:01:54,590
Look what I made in art class.
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Wow.
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How stylish.
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Yeah, and if I'd happen to eat that
stuff, it wouldn't hurt me.
35
00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:04,830
They know you, Ben.
36
00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,690
So, do you have a picture I could put in
it?
37
00:02:08,630 --> 00:02:09,750
You want my picture?
38
00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:10,990
Oh, yeah.
39
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Gee, Benjamin, this is quite an honor.
40
00:02:14,370 --> 00:02:15,730
And practical, too.
41
00:02:17,130 --> 00:02:18,510
Practical? Sure.
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00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:22,730
I figure with your picture, I won't miss
you so much, even when you work late.
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00:02:23,650 --> 00:02:25,470
So, how was your day?
44
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Show me that smile again.
45
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Don't listen.
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surprise brownie recipe.
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Yes, they did.
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Good.
49
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Well, the meeting kind of bogged down,
though, when we got to the plans for the
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school carnival. Myrtle DeForest said,
we're going to have to drop the dark
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this year because it's just altogether
too violent. Well, that's Judy Jones'
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00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:07,650
thing. So she said, over my dead body.
Myrtle said, that sounds fine to me.
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00:04:07,690 --> 00:04:12,330
Well, Judy breaks down and she leaps
over the desk, grabs Myrtle by the
54
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drops it right in and throws it down the
ground, too.
55
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I'm just kidding.
56
00:04:22,550 --> 00:04:23,550
I knew that.
57
00:04:23,710 --> 00:04:24,930
Did you think I didn't know that?
58
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:29,930
Hey, am I off base here or are you a
little tense?
59
00:04:30,290 --> 00:04:31,410
What makes you think I'm tense?
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00:04:33,010 --> 00:04:36,650
Well, you're soaking and you never prune
out like this unless there's tension.
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00:04:36,950 --> 00:04:40,030
Well, if you know me so well, Jason, why
didn't you let me know that I was
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failing as a mother?
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00:04:41,850 --> 00:04:43,550
Is that the darn doorbell?
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00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:47,980
Aren't you going to tell me that I'm not
failing as a mother?
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00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,560
Of course, Maggie. You're not failing as
a mother.
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00:04:51,980 --> 00:04:53,140
Don't patronize me.
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00:04:53,940 --> 00:04:55,640
Did you get fired today or something?
68
00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:58,460
No. At work, everybody loves me.
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00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:01,540
Well, before I turn in, I think I'll go
buff the Volvo.
70
00:05:02,660 --> 00:05:05,980
At home, on the other hand, little Ben
has to carry a picture of me to remember
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00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:06,980
what I look like.
72
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,700
Maggie, Ben carries pictures of Rambo.
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00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,960
I totally forgot about the mother's
meeting.
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00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:15,250
Do you want a massage?
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00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:16,990
And then I find this.
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Read this.
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I have to help me here, Meg.
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00:05:25,730 --> 00:05:29,130
It's a letter from the Wendell Wilkie
Elementary School Mothers Club. And the
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first line says, fellow mothers.
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00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,290
And it's addressed to you.
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00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:38,510
An official body of the Long Island
school system recognizes you as Ben's
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mother. It ain't no Meg. You're just a
bunch of women.
83
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:44,760
Oh, come on.
84
00:05:44,980 --> 00:05:49,160
Laughter is the best way of releasing
tension naturally. Come on, try it.
85
00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,740
Okay, we'll get serious for a minute
then.
86
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,940
Maggie, if you don't lighten up, I'm
going to have to shoot you.
87
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:06,420
Is that the best you can do? Well,
without a rubber chicken, yes.
88
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:13,140
Jason, I expected some sound advice,
like, Maggie, put your feelings of
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00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:13,969
to work. Work.
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00:06:13,970 --> 00:06:16,150
Do something. Spend more time with Ben.
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Volunteer for his carnival so he knows
that I care.
92
00:06:21,490 --> 00:06:22,490
Why not?
93
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That is a great idea.
94
00:06:25,530 --> 00:06:29,750
It's so good. It's so simple. Oh, Jason,
what did I think of it?
95
00:06:32,090 --> 00:06:33,090
You're welcome.
96
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:42,820
Not showing off. I just felt like
killing six hours and whipping up a
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00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:43,820
baklava.
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00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,540
You?
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00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:48,800
Jason. Hi.
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00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:57,000
Hello. You remember
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00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,220
my wife? Oh, of course. Annie.
102
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:01,160
Hi, Annie. No, I'm Gail.
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00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,040
We have a lot of carnival business to
discuss before we can get to those
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luscious, succulent, very tantalizing
desserts.
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00:07:21,740 --> 00:07:23,180
Some of which are still warm.
106
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,440
So, any old business?
107
00:07:26,900 --> 00:07:30,660
Yes, Gracie? I just wanted to tell Jason
that I tried his rump roast marinade
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recipe and my whole family just adored
it.
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00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:34,420
Oh, good.
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00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,860
Well, you want to have some real
excitement next time, try soaking your
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two full days.
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00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:43,480
Okay, any new business?
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00:07:43,820 --> 00:07:45,340
First of all, I think... Yes?
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Hello, I'm Maggie Seaver, and I'm the
other Seaver mother.
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And I just wanted to say that I'd be
happy to volunteer to help out at
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Saturday's carnival. Oh! Bravo!
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And I know I'm a little late, but since
this is to raise money for our kids'
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00:08:01,610 --> 00:08:04,970
school, I know how important it is.
Anything I can do to help. Oh, that is
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Wendell Wilkie spirit!
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00:08:06,150 --> 00:08:07,150
Come on, ladies!
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00:08:07,630 --> 00:08:09,630
Maggie Seaver, you come on down!
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00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:15,990
Oh, you need to get with... Gracie
Thornton. She's our carnival chairman.
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00:08:16,590 --> 00:08:18,750
Chairperson. Yes, Gracie?
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I would just like to move that I be
replaced as carnival chairperson by
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00:08:23,290 --> 00:08:26,310
Seavers. Oh, I second that motion. No,
see, I really... All those in favor say
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00:08:26,310 --> 00:08:27,310
aye. Aye.
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00:08:27,870 --> 00:08:28,870
Sorry, aye.
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00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:30,530
Opposed? No.
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Commotion carried.
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Maggie Seavers, the new carnival
chairperson.
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Okay, with no other business before me,
this meeting is adjourned. Let's...
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anything about being a carnival chairman
chairperson it's really very simple i
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thought you wanted to help yes i do but
look is there anyone on the carnival
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committee that's done this before
carnival committee what a wonderful idea
135
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:08,160
judy i'm moved we let maggie off the
hook here oh i second wait a minute how
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00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:11,120
many of you have volunteered to work on
the carnival
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00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:18,240
Well, with this attitude, I'm surprised
somebody hasn't moved to cancel the
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whole carnival. I second that motion.
139
00:09:20,020 --> 00:09:26,820
So this means that we're all too busy to
help the children,
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is that it?
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00:09:29,660 --> 00:09:33,360
Well, look, I'm busy too, but I am going
to make the time.
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00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:36,560
What do you all have to do that's so
important?
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00:09:37,140 --> 00:09:38,140
The cooking?
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00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,000
The laundry?
145
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:41,920
The housekeeping?
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I'm arguing a case before the State
Supreme Court.
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Okay.
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00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:52,790
But what about the rest of us?
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I'll volunteer.
150
00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:55,710
And this is a very busy man.
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00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:57,350
Yes, you know I'm a psychiatrist.
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I could spend up to eight hours a day on
my anal retentives alone.
153
00:10:03,650 --> 00:10:06,110
Aren't we all forgetting what's
important here?
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00:10:06,790 --> 00:10:07,790
The children.
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00:10:08,410 --> 00:10:09,610
They're why we're here.
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00:10:10,310 --> 00:10:11,950
Are we really all gonna...
157
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,980
Sit here and let our kids down just when
they need us the most.
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00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:17,840
I volunteer.
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00:10:17,980 --> 00:10:20,620
There you go. Me too. Great. I
volunteer. Wonderful.
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00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:22,420
Oh,
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00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,800
the heck with my client. Let him fry.
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00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:47,080
more by giving this stuff away and
charging $10 for antacid tablets.
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00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:50,020
Hi! Wow, what neat stuff!
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00:10:50,420 --> 00:10:53,760
Oh, don't touch those, Ben. Those are
grab bag prizes for your carnival. Ah,
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00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,280
this isn't a gift from God.
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00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:26,360
need it to the auction.
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00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:28,040
We'll put it by the auction box.
168
00:11:30,660 --> 00:11:33,620
Who's gonna buy a statue with the arms
busted off?
169
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,840
Ben, you're a real aficionado.
170
00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:37,060
Take that back!
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00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,820
Ben, no arguments. I have a lot to do to
get ready for your carnival. But Mom,
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00:11:40,940 --> 00:11:42,040
she called me a fish!
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00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:48,900
Ben, I said no arguments. Now we're
doing all this for you. If you can't
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00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,800
you can at least stay out of the way.
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00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:52,980
Yeah, we're working here.
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00:12:29,070 --> 00:12:30,070
This is wonderful.
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00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,230
And we have a huge crowd gathering
outside, so we're either going to have a
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00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:34,870
festival or a riot.
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00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:40,150
Well, I've got the 220 split up. I've
got the 110 all fired up and ready to
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00:12:40,330 --> 00:12:41,670
Sounds like I know what I'm doing,
doesn't it?
181
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:44,390
All right, Earl, hit it!
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00:12:46,550 --> 00:12:47,550
Oh!
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00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:48,790
Oh!
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00:12:51,790 --> 00:12:54,650
Well, just be thankful I'm not running a
nuclear power plant.
185
00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:58,410
Just a short somewhere.
186
00:12:58,610 --> 00:12:59,850
I'll take care of it. Okay,
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00:13:00,970 --> 00:13:02,730
everybody ready? Kissing booth ready.
188
00:13:03,330 --> 00:13:04,330
Vogue booth ready.
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00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:06,310
Dark booth ready.
190
00:13:06,690 --> 00:13:08,230
Cotton candy booth ready.
191
00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:10,250
Do I have to wear this hat?
192
00:13:11,890 --> 00:13:13,110
Face painting booth ready.
193
00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:14,950
Oh, good work, Clarabelle.
194
00:13:15,670 --> 00:13:17,050
What about the auction booth?
195
00:13:18,670 --> 00:13:21,330
Oh, I'm running that. Okay, auction
booth ready.
196
00:13:26,730 --> 00:13:28,690
I could use some male lips in my booth.
197
00:13:30,730 --> 00:13:32,210
All right, hit it again, Earl.
198
00:13:36,290 --> 00:13:37,290
Jason,
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00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:39,790
if you're through, we need some help in
the booth.
200
00:13:40,110 --> 00:13:41,310
Over here, Jason.
201
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:42,650
Oh, Jason, help me.
202
00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:45,610
What to do, what to do?
203
00:13:47,090 --> 00:13:49,330
Well, it's time I lend my lips to
Charity.
204
00:13:49,830 --> 00:13:51,290
You would have to pick her, huh?
205
00:13:52,050 --> 00:13:54,290
I'll help Judy if that'll make you
happy.
206
00:13:54,690 --> 00:13:55,690
Very.
207
00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:00,430
Would you help Myrtle, please?
208
00:14:00,890 --> 00:14:01,890
Oh.
209
00:14:02,630 --> 00:14:03,630
Maggie,
210
00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:12,010
may I say in the calm before the storm
that, well, you're an inspiration to all
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00:14:12,010 --> 00:14:13,010
the other mothers.
212
00:14:13,130 --> 00:14:19,130
Balancing a career, kids, this carnival.
Again, it is so wonderful to meet
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00:14:19,130 --> 00:14:23,370
someone at life's banquet who is always
able to dish up another healthy. It's
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00:14:23,370 --> 00:14:24,450
the most wonderful thing.
215
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:41,340
self -aggrandizement.
216
00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:43,580
Yeah.
217
00:14:45,100 --> 00:14:46,100
Disgusting.
218
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,380
Which mother's yours?
219
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,140
The one who looks like Mary Ann from
Gilligan's Island.
220
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,480
Which one's yours?
221
00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:56,540
The one who's ignoring me.
222
00:14:56,740 --> 00:15:00,580
She wouldn't even let me run the dart
booth just because she said I'm so
223
00:15:00,580 --> 00:15:01,580
unpredictable.
224
00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:06,020
Which one was Mary Ann's?
225
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,440
Donated a little play cameo.
226
00:15:57,720 --> 00:16:00,080
With my picture in it. Let's start.
227
00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:03,540
No, my picture. Where did this come
from, Gail? It was in the box.
228
00:16:03,780 --> 00:16:04,780
Bam. A buck.
229
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:05,739
Just a minute.
230
00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:08,560
Two bucks. Ho! I can't sell this. Two
fifty. Ho!
231
00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:37,770
Seven from heaven, whoa, three of a
kind.
232
00:16:38,290 --> 00:16:40,710
A ten, lousy luck, ride the garbage
truck.
233
00:16:41,410 --> 00:16:44,150
And a jake, what's that make? Two pair,
life's not fair.
234
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:46,390
And an ace for the ace.
235
00:16:46,790 --> 00:16:48,350
Another full boat, dealer wins again.
236
00:16:50,870 --> 00:16:54,350
And on behalf of all the little
children, we thank you.
237
00:16:57,210 --> 00:16:58,410
Mike, have you seen Ben?
238
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:00,450
Yeah, he came by and gave me all his
tickets.
239
00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:01,850
Why would he do that?
240
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,410
Well, very little of what Ben does makes
sense.
241
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:08,839
Yeah, good idea. She's just as weird as
he is.
242
00:17:10,060 --> 00:17:13,760
Well, look at it this way. If you can't
eat it, you could strip your furniture
243
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:14,760
with it.
244
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,140
Carol, has Ben been around here?
245
00:17:20,859 --> 00:17:21,960
Just for a second.
246
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,980
Same as everybody else, Mom.
247
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:25,240
Smell this stuff.
248
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:27,400
Did he say anything?
249
00:17:28,099 --> 00:17:29,500
Well, he asked my housekeeper.
250
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:30,760
Did he say what?
251
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,080
He may have.
252
00:17:32,580 --> 00:17:35,160
You know, I think this chili is
affecting my hearing, too.
253
00:18:09,799 --> 00:18:14,520
Well, you know, maybe that's just his
way of telling you something.
254
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:15,739
For what?
255
00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:18,780
Well, I don't know, honey. You've got to
think that kids have different ways
256
00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:19,780
they try to communicate.
257
00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:29,600
to explore every possible wonder.
Maggie!
258
00:18:29,980 --> 00:18:30,980
Maggie?
259
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,220
It's quarter to three.
260
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:42,820
There's no one in the place except you
and me.
261
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:49,840
So set them up, Joe.
262
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:53,600
I got a little story.
263
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,000
Benjamin.
264
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,790
It was a carnival, Ben, till I found out
you'd left without even a word.
265
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,010
You were busy.
266
00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:08,830
Benny, I am never too busy for you.
267
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:11,450
Mom, I left hours ago.
268
00:19:11,770 --> 00:19:13,030
And you show up now?
269
00:19:13,530 --> 00:19:14,990
So you wanted to worry me?
270
00:19:15,350 --> 00:19:16,350
I wanted something.
271
00:19:18,330 --> 00:19:20,150
Is that why you got rid of this?
272
00:19:21,070 --> 00:19:23,210
I was wondering where that went.
273
00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:26,050
Well, I found it in the auction box.
274
00:19:28,190 --> 00:19:29,230
How'd it get there?
275
00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:34,210
So you wanted me to find it and come
running home?
276
00:19:34,630 --> 00:19:37,930
No, I wanted you to miss me and come
running home.
277
00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:40,710
Ben, there were 300 people there.
278
00:19:41,070 --> 00:19:45,370
Yeah, but only one who's your most
favorite 10 -year -old on the planet.
279
00:19:47,510 --> 00:19:51,330
Honey, why do you think I volunteered?
280
00:19:52,850 --> 00:19:53,850
I don't know.
281
00:19:54,770 --> 00:19:59,170
I didn't know anything except you were a
really great mom before that stupid
282
00:19:59,170 --> 00:20:00,170
carnival.
283
00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:05,880
I didn't do any of this for myself.
284
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:08,660
And the only one I cared about was you.
285
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,820
See, I'm not the kind of person to get
so wrapped up in what I'm doing that I'd
286
00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:18,240
forget about... You.
287
00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:21,320
Oh, holy Toledo.
288
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,280
Huh?
289
00:20:24,980 --> 00:20:28,620
Oh, Ben, I owe you an apology. Talk
about me being a jerk.
290
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:29,900
I didn't say that.
291
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:32,920
No, I did.
292
00:20:33,530 --> 00:20:34,530
Oh.
293
00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:38,030
Oh, honey, I... I'm so sorry.
294
00:20:38,510 --> 00:20:41,330
I... I couldn't see the forest for the
trees.
295
00:20:42,330 --> 00:20:43,330
What trees?
296
00:20:45,270 --> 00:20:46,270
Dan.
297
00:20:47,390 --> 00:20:51,950
I thought that you thought my work was
more important to me than you.
298
00:20:53,130 --> 00:20:56,290
But what I thought you thought you never
thought and what you thought I thought
299
00:20:56,290 --> 00:20:57,290
I never thought.
300
00:20:58,470 --> 00:21:00,250
What were we thinking?
301
00:21:05,260 --> 00:21:08,240
make it one for my
302
00:21:36,010 --> 00:21:39,010
one with any coupons in your pocket so
you can help out of the air and sink a
303
00:21:39,010 --> 00:21:40,110
shrink for charity.
304
00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:46,830
Hey, Judy, I'm out of here, Judy. You're
going to have to find another stinky.
305
00:21:55,410 --> 00:21:59,170
Come on, you remember, this is all for a
very good cause. I know that.
306
00:21:59,850 --> 00:22:00,850
You what?
307
00:22:00,890 --> 00:22:02,650
You want to take my place.
23464
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