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1
00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:42,270
He's not coming back.
2
00:00:42,690 --> 00:00:44,790
He will. He's so hard for you.
3
00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:46,470
Yeah, but I think he has a girlfriend.
4
00:00:46,990 --> 00:00:47,990
You didn't ask.
5
00:00:48,510 --> 00:00:49,810
No, I was afraid to.
6
00:00:50,310 --> 00:00:52,190
Even if he does, you could steal him
away.
7
00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:55,030
I'm not a homewrecker.
8
00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:56,270
Too bad.
9
00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:59,030
Even worse, I have no one to talk to
now.
10
00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:03,170
What about that circus break? The circus
rolled out of town this afternoon.
11
00:01:04,210 --> 00:01:05,570
Aw, too bad.
12
00:01:05,930 --> 00:01:07,150
Guess I can't fuck a clown.
13
00:01:07,410 --> 00:01:11,310
I know you're joking, but I've always
dreamt of fucking a clown and filmmaker.
14
00:01:11,650 --> 00:01:13,650
And this is why you're insane.
15
00:01:14,930 --> 00:01:15,930
Insatiable.
16
00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:21,630
I mean, like, don't we just think about
settling down?
17
00:01:22,330 --> 00:01:27,970
Sometimes I dream of a beautiful wedding
with a guy with a big old dick.
18
00:01:28,350 --> 00:01:29,870
Never move to the suburbs.
19
00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:31,270
Oh, really?
20
00:01:32,270 --> 00:01:34,810
A cute little house with a white picket
fence.
21
00:01:35,370 --> 00:01:39,330
I want wall -to -wall shag carpeting.
22
00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:40,910
That's more daddy.
23
00:01:41,070 --> 00:01:44,890
Then we throw a big housewarming party
for all the couples in the
24
00:01:45,350 --> 00:01:47,070
We put a little fishbowl outside.
25
00:01:47,670 --> 00:01:53,170
And we have the wife -swapping orgy of
the century. I told you, I'm a romantic
26
00:01:53,170 --> 00:01:54,170
at heart.
27
00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,450
Hello, Conan's Video Club.
28
00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:07,570
Where is my husband?
29
00:02:07,970 --> 00:02:09,690
Oh, he's in a meeting right now.
30
00:02:10,050 --> 00:02:11,210
At 10pm?
31
00:02:11,750 --> 00:02:15,390
Yeah, they're like Japanese businessmen.
There's a huge time difference.
32
00:02:15,610 --> 00:02:16,910
Basically middle of the morning for
them.
33
00:02:17,490 --> 00:02:18,710
Do you think I'm stupid?
34
00:02:19,070 --> 00:02:21,550
Of course I don't think you're stupid,
Mrs. Kelly.
35
00:02:22,950 --> 00:02:25,330
Are you that little slut who fucked my
husband?
36
00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:26,750
Who, me?
37
00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:29,190
No, never. I'm a good little girl.
38
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:30,770
Good little girl, my ass.
39
00:02:32,070 --> 00:02:33,150
I'll let him know you called.
40
00:02:33,450 --> 00:02:34,590
Don't you hang up on me.
41
00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:38,810
She is going to kill him.
42
00:02:39,130 --> 00:02:41,610
She'll forget all about it when he buys
her a new diamond.
43
00:02:42,010 --> 00:02:44,130
I don't get it. Like, why is he still
with her?
44
00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:46,990
I just have a little wife at home to
deal with with kids and laundry.
45
00:02:48,570 --> 00:02:51,410
Sad. Well, I'm never going to rely on
just one man.
46
00:02:51,730 --> 00:02:53,730
I refuse to be anyone's little wife
slave.
47
00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:56,610
I'm like, not all men are bad.
48
00:02:56,950 --> 00:02:59,270
They're good for one thing and one thing
only.
49
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:02,790
Mine is mine.
50
00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:05,230
Yeah, he seems nice, but he's going to
disappoint you too.
51
00:03:07,350 --> 00:03:08,350
I don't know about that.
52
00:03:09,210 --> 00:03:11,270
Trust me, fuck him and chuck him.
53
00:03:18,710 --> 00:03:23,110
We have to test if it works.
54
00:03:23,610 --> 00:03:26,510
What if somebody comes in?
55
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:27,649
It's broken.
56
00:03:27,650 --> 00:03:28,650
They won't see anything.
57
00:03:29,990 --> 00:03:30,990
Yeah?
58
00:03:31,110 --> 00:03:32,110
Just do it, do it, do it.
59
00:03:41,290 --> 00:03:42,290
It's a cog.
60
00:03:42,750 --> 00:03:43,770
How can you tell?
61
00:03:45,830 --> 00:03:46,830
Look.
62
00:03:47,610 --> 00:03:50,830
I mean, it just... It just looks like
white noise to me.
63
00:03:51,850 --> 00:03:52,850
Maybe.
64
00:03:54,790 --> 00:03:55,870
What the fuck?
65
00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:06,790
He's not coming back.
66
00:04:07,230 --> 00:04:08,670
Death throws me off to get fucked.
67
00:04:09,190 --> 00:04:10,630
I'd give you my date if I had one.
68
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,140
Yeah, but I'm not just a whore.
69
00:04:12,660 --> 00:04:15,240
Ugh, I'm tired of talking about this
guy.
70
00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:16,659
Forget him.
71
00:04:19,079 --> 00:04:20,079
Hey, guys.
72
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,040
How was it?
73
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:26,120
It was good.
74
00:04:26,540 --> 00:04:27,840
Do you have any other recommendations?
75
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:29,400
Oh, yeah.
76
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:33,560
Nicole already picked out a super kung
fu film for you.
77
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,000
I did?
78
00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:37,160
I did, yeah.
79
00:04:38,180 --> 00:04:39,300
Yeah, it's a super surreal.
80
00:04:39,850 --> 00:04:42,470
Not many people have seen it. You know,
some real underground shit.
81
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:43,829
This is awesome.
82
00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:44,830
You really know your stuff.
83
00:04:45,630 --> 00:04:46,890
I'm not some expert or anything.
84
00:04:47,230 --> 00:04:48,230
You know more than I do.
85
00:04:48,790 --> 00:04:50,070
That doesn't bother you?
86
00:04:50,410 --> 00:04:52,810
No, I like a smart and sexy girl.
87
00:04:53,990 --> 00:04:54,990
Oh, yeah?
88
00:04:55,270 --> 00:04:56,270
You're pretty cute, though.
89
00:05:06,810 --> 00:05:10,750
No, no. A black belt in Krav Maga would
destroy a black belt in Taekwondo.
90
00:05:10,850 --> 00:05:12,430
You're crazy. You're literally crazy.
91
00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:18,590
Krav Maga is more practical in a real
-life fight, and it's eclectic, and it's
92
00:05:18,590 --> 00:05:20,290
inspired by other styles.
93
00:05:20,670 --> 00:05:21,589
That's just it.
94
00:05:21,590 --> 00:05:26,290
Taekwondo is traditional. It's pure,
okay? And these guys have laser focus,
95
00:05:26,650 --> 00:05:29,790
better defense, and Krav Maga is just
showy bullshit.
96
00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:33,070
You know, bud, I'm out early. Have a
date.
97
00:05:33,330 --> 00:05:34,330
You do?
98
00:05:35,150 --> 00:05:37,470
Wait, wait, I hate it when you leave me
to close the store alone.
99
00:05:38,470 --> 00:05:41,690
Well, Nicole, you're not quite alone,
are you?
100
00:05:43,770 --> 00:05:44,770
Of course you do.
101
00:05:44,850 --> 00:05:45,950
Of course I'm not.
102
00:05:46,310 --> 00:05:49,390
I was hoping that you'd stay here, keep
an eye on her, make sure no creeps get
103
00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:50,650
there. Is that all hands on her?
104
00:05:51,210 --> 00:05:52,189
Yeah, of course.
105
00:05:52,190 --> 00:05:54,810
If anyone comes here and tries to touch
her, I'm going to take on a Taekwondo
106
00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:55,810
move.
107
00:05:57,510 --> 00:05:59,250
Okay, lovebird. I'm out.
108
00:06:07,460 --> 00:06:08,460
Yeah, that thing's broken.
109
00:06:14,260 --> 00:06:17,360
Well, if you want, I can drive you home.
110
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,520
No, it's okay. I just live down the
street.
111
00:06:21,140 --> 00:06:22,140
Yeah.
112
00:06:26,140 --> 00:06:29,480
This place is, um, kind of creepy after
it closes.
113
00:06:30,780 --> 00:06:34,140
Yeah, I get a little... I usually get a
little freaked out. I always imagine
114
00:06:34,140 --> 00:06:35,920
there's people, like, hiding between the
aisles.
115
00:06:36,590 --> 00:06:37,590
Yeah?
116
00:06:39,470 --> 00:06:40,530
I'll protect you.
117
00:06:50,150 --> 00:06:51,150
Anyone there?
118
00:07:08,430 --> 00:07:09,430
Was that okay?
119
00:07:09,770 --> 00:07:11,430
I was wondering when you were going to
kiss me.
120
00:07:12,110 --> 00:07:13,110
Why'd you ever ask?
121
00:07:14,110 --> 00:07:16,310
I don't know. I just thought maybe you
had a girlfriend.
122
00:07:16,690 --> 00:07:17,690
I do.
123
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:19,310
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
124
00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:23,950
I wanted to ask you if you wanted to be
my girlfriend.
125
00:07:24,850 --> 00:07:25,850
Are you serious?
126
00:07:26,570 --> 00:07:27,570
Yeah.
127
00:07:27,830 --> 00:07:28,639
Look, I...
128
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,380
I know we just met. I know this has been
a little fast.
129
00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:34,160
And I know you can't pick a fighting
style. What happened to the kids? I
130
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:34,939
but you're really cool.
131
00:07:34,940 --> 00:07:36,660
You know, I wanted to be a lot cooler
during this part.
132
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,060
Like, let's start back at the beginning.
133
00:07:38,540 --> 00:07:40,460
Yes, Mike. I will be your girlfriend.
134
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:42,500
Really?
135
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:56,160
Do you want to go back to my place?
136
00:08:00,970 --> 00:08:01,970
I'm going to fuck here.
137
00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:04,690
In the store?
138
00:08:05,990 --> 00:08:06,990
What have we got?
139
00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:09,770
We just have to live dangerously
sometimes.
9374
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