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Hello there.
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I'm Ryan Reynolds.
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Yeah, hmm.
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That Ryan Reynolds.
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I'm a film actor,
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occasionally I dabblein television
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and other industries.
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I'm also a father.
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But I'm ready to move onfrom all of that crap.
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So what's next?
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Wildlife, that's what.
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Nope, not these blowhards.
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They don't need my help.
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I'm here for these guys.
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Nature's benchwarmers.
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I'm talking grade-A freaks
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and their freakin' bizarre,weird, freakshow lives.
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Get ready for the Underdogs.
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♪ I wanna be your underdog ♪
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These guys arethe grossest, weirdest...
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♪ I'm not number one,but I'm second to none ♪
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...the most unlikely starsin the great movie of life.
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♪ Heroes are overratedwhen you are the outlaw ♪
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Now it's their time to shine.
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♪ Cuz I wanna beyour underdog ♪
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Wherever there isblatant mischief,
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wherever there isabject cowardice,
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wherever there is unbearablesexual tension...
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...that's where you'll findthe underdogs.
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You tell 'em, Green Day.
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♪ I'm not a loser ♪
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♪ I'm not a loser ♪
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♪ I wanna be your underdog ♪
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I'm Ryan Reynolds.
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♪ I wanna be your underdog ♪
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And I endorse these weirdoes.
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For animals, life iskinda like a game.
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They need to gather resourcesand overcome obstacles
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to achieve their objectives.
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And this game is hard,
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especially for an underdog.
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So sometimes you haveto play dirty to win.
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And I mean disgusting.
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Hang on to your lunch, kids,
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because it's time to playTotal Grossout.
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First up, somebody who's founda "hole" new way
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to protect themselffrom predators
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on the reefs of Polynesia.
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You'll get that jokein a second.
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This is a pearlfish,
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and right now,she has a pretty big problem.
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She's almost invisiblein the nighttime,
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but she's stayed outpast her bedtime,
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and...
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if a predatorspots her now,
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it's gonna be game over.
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Mmm, yep. Like that.
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That's one way to go.
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Right, let's try again.
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Oookay.
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Pearlfish, round two.
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Okay, swimming.
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Swimming...
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Yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda.
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Staying away from the bad guys.
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No, yep, nope, nope,not that way.
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Gotta find a hiding place,and fast.
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Nope, nope, not there.
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Now if you've playedvideo games at all,
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you know there's a bossaround here somewhere.
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And if you're a real gamer,you know there's two options:
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run toward danger and fight,
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or hide and hope it goes away.
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And what do we have here?
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A gigantic sea turd.
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Let's pixelate that out.
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Oh, no, sorry, that's--no, that is a sea cucumber.
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I'm so sorry, that's not, uh,
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that is not the ofa lumberjack, if I may say so.
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It not only oozes deadly toxins
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but it also breathesout of its butt.
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Because dreamsreally do come true.
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But when your lifedepends on it,
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sometimes you got to geta little creative.
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Is that it... yawning...with its butt?
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Okay.
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Okay, well,whatever it's doing,
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that open portal presentsthe pearlfish with a solution.
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Understandably,that sea cucumber
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is a little unsure.
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I know I would be.
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But it can't clench forever.
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Now is her chance.
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A layer of mucus protects herfrom the toxins,
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and...
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Ohhh.
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Reverse parking. Mmm.
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You see, the underdogs, theyknow that in the game of life,
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an unthinkably revoltingsolution can save your ass,
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and an ass can save your life.
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Who has access to my memoirand why is this plagiarized?
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But you can't solve
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all your problems
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by hiding in a butthole.
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Sometimes the game of liferequires you
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to go on the offensive.
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And these filthy animalsinvented the term offensive.
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Actually, it was the Romans,
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uh, the Romans inventedthe word offensive and Rubicon
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and scuttlebutt.
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I'm sorry, what's that? No?
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Anyway, this adorable littlecreature is a tortoise beetle.
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And at first glance,she's not disgusting at all,
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which is refreshing.
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Clean feet.
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Clean antennae.
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She does not like dirt one bit.
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Total neat freak.
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Which is unfortunate,
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as she's aboutto become a new mom,
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and, as we all know,kids are absolutely disgusting.
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All of them.
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Yep, yours, too.
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Yeah, and mine.
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Full hazmat.
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They may be just the sizeof a grain of rice.
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I'm guessing that'sshort grain, not long?
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But they're still big eaters.
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And all that foodhas to go somewhere.
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And that somewhere, yep,
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is a couple ofpoop-collecting spikes
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right next to their butts.
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Oh, my ,it just gets worse.
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But notice that momma beetle,
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she's not reachingfor the baby wipes.
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And that's because all thisdried-on poop has a purpose.
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Killer ants woulddevour her newborns
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without a moment's hesitation.
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And I wonder, are theyavailable for babysitting?
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Ants hunt by smell and cansniff out beetle larvae
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faster than your Uncle Tim
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can chug a box of chardonnayat Christmas.
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Time for mom to puther disgust aside,
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and reveal her tactical genius.
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Like a well-drilled Roman army,
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her poop-encrusted babiesline up into formation.
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And mom climbs aboard.
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Maximus Mom-imus has a plan.
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They just need to hold.
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Hold!
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Hooold!
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Present arms!
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And wave that poop!
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For an ant thatcan't see very well,
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and lives in a world of scent,
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this experience must bea little unexpected.
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Apparently, the world'sgreatest scientists
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are still debating exactly howthe poop waving repels the ant.
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Really, they thinkthat's a mystery?
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I think my fellow parentswill agree
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that when it comesto chemical weapons,
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a dirty diaper, well,it beats just about anything.
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So, playing dirty can keep youand your offspring in the game.
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But what about when the gameis an epic quest?
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And I don't know,what if science was real
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and called it migration?
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Sea cows!
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Now, I know whatyou're thinking,
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manatees aren't gross,they're adorable.
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The mythical inspirationfor mermaids.
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But I assure you,the gross is coming.
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Meet our hardworking single momand her precious only child,
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we're gonna call her Nezzy.
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Except all the lettersare silent,
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it's pronounced.
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It's winter here in Florida,
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and it's very coldfor manatees.
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But mom has a plan,
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and she's taking little Nezzy
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to a very special,almost sacred place,
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where the water is warm andmanatees assemble once a year
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like a manatee Christmas
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or Coachella without allthe sex, drugs and dysentery.
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The problem is,it's hundreds of miles away.
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And there's another thing,
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Mom and Nezzy arerunning out of fuel.
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Mom needs to make a pitstopto feed herself
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and get Nezzy the milkshe desperately needs
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to complete the journey.
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Lots of seagrass down there, soyou know, what's the problem?
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Well, the problem is
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Mom is a bit of a...
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yeah, a floater.
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Gas from all herprevious grassy meals
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has built up in her body,
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causing her to become strandedat the surface.
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And if she can't feed herselfor Nezzy, they'll die.
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And whose fault is that, Mom?
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If only nature had a wayof expelling excess gas
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from the body.
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Oh, yeah, like a pro.
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While these bubbles aresomething you never want to see
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in a shared bathon a first date,
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they're a vital part ofbuoyancy control for manatees.
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It's like the submarine moviewhen Sean Connery is like,
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"Dive, dive, you shtupid boys!"
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but he's playing a Russian,
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but he's speakingwith a Scottish accent,
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because, you know,movie stars, lazy.
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Anyway, having lost gasand descended,
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she can finally gorge herselfon seagrass.
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Then it's back to the surfacefor Nezzy to get her meal,
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by latching onto a nipplein Mom's armpit.
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There's nothing weirdabout that at all.
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Accept it. Let it happen.
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And then it's swim,
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eat,
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fart, repeat.
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Like Uncle Timon New Year's Eve.
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All the way to theirparadise destination.
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Lovely.
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But they don't careabout the view.
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The water from the power plantis clean and it's warm.
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And winter here is likeone giant, communal
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bodily gas-poweredjacuzzi spa from hell.
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Like only Floridacould deliver.
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Everything a manatee momand calf could ask for.
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You kick back and relax, Nezzy.
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You earned it.
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Self-defense, epic quests,
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let's keep this grossgameplay going
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by meeting an undergroundunderdog.
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We're deep down insidea New Zealand cave.
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But someone down here is aboutto turn on the lights.
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Oooooh.
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Venture down here after darkand you're gonna feel like
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you've been castas an extra in Avatar,
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or you've accidentally droppedacid instead of aspirin.
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So who's the creatorof this dazzling array?
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Ohh!
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This filthy dungeon dwelleris the larva
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of a carnivorous fungus gnat,and she is hungry.
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All this twinkly stuff isher way of luring in
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the food she needs to transforminto an adult.
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And the key to it all is mucus.
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For over 200 days,she and her friends
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dribble outstrings of special slime,
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festooning their gnat cave
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with a combination of urea,silk and water.
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The episode,it's called "Total Grossout,"
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you knew what you weregetting into.
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Then, ah, the final touch.
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Using a chemical reactionin their butts...
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Yup, you heard me.
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...they light up their garlandslike snot chandeliers...
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...to create the world'smost beautiful death trap.
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And here comesthe perfect victim.
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A mayfly.
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High in protein,but low in smarts.
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All he sees is a beautifulnight sky to navigate by.
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Now comes phase two ofthe fungus gnat's strategy.
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She slowly hauls upthe still-alive mayfly
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into her loving embrace.
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By loving embrace, I meanthat she liquefies his body
265
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,814
and sucks him uplike a milkshake.
266
00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:51,820
A few more meals like this, andshe turns herself into a pupa.
267
00:17:52,446 --> 00:17:55,908
Even though, rightly, it shouldprobably be the authorities.
268
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:58,911
And 12 days later, she emerges
269
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:03,290
as a magnificentadult butterfly--
270
00:18:03,415 --> 00:18:07,461
oh, no, she hatches into anadult carnivorous fungus gnat.
271
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:08,879
Gross.
272
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:13,759
Ready to carpe the heckout of that diem.
273
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:15,636
Hello, world!
274
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,306
Hello, sky.
275
00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:28,607
Oh, hello, neighbor'sdeath trap snot hammock.
276
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,402
Well, I never said she wassmart. Circle of life.
277
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:33,487
Bye for now.
278
00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:42,996
So an occasionalact of grossness
279
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,583
can help you beat a level.
280
00:18:46,667 --> 00:18:48,627
But some underdogshave made being filthy
281
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:51,213
their entire gameplay strategy.
282
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:03,684
This is a three-toed sloth.
283
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,024
He's never washed.
284
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:12,985
Ever.
285
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:21,201
And now there'san entire ecosystem
286
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:24,037
living off the dirtin his fur...
287
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:29,042
...turning him green.
288
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,795
But that is his secret hack.
289
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,847
As long as he staysin the canopy,
290
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:46,560
being green and grimy keeps himhidden from his main predator.
291
00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:54,610
The harpy eagle.
292
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:08,415
But these sloths liketo live dangerously...
293
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,083
in the slow lane.
294
00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:15,589
About once a weekthese unsung daredevils
295
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:16,965
leave the safety of the canopy
296
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:19,384
to climb all the waydown their tree,
297
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:24,932
an activity so dangerous, morethan half of them die doing it.
298
00:20:27,267 --> 00:20:28,685
Oh!
299
00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,604
I think that was Uncle Alan.
300
00:20:30,687 --> 00:20:32,564
See you in the next life,buddy.
301
00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,818
Now, science may have finallyfigured out the mystery
302
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:41,281
of why these sloths would makea move so dangerous, so often,
303
00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,785
an immediate "game over,"and we can reveal the answers
304
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:47,663
just as soon as he gets there,
305
00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:52,709
which will take...a long... time.
306
00:20:53,877 --> 00:20:54,878
Come on, man.
307
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:57,339
Time is money.
308
00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:58,507
Come on, let's go, brother,
309
00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:01,343
every momentyour life is at risk!
310
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,935
Sorry, this can take how long?
311
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,355
No, we don't have timefor that.
312
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,525
Yes, you're right,I don't have time for that.
313
00:21:18,485 --> 00:21:20,570
Yes, I'm costing youa lot of money.
314
00:21:21,488 --> 00:21:22,739
Let's move on.
315
00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:29,246
Some underdogs are so deeplyinto grossout tactics,
316
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:31,290
they actually find ita turn-on.
317
00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:39,256
But I'm not telling youanything more,
318
00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:41,800
because you're probably noteven a real therapist.
319
00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,888
This is Ireland.
320
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:51,184
And this is Craig,a male red deer
321
00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:53,895
hoping to matefor the first time.
322
00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:58,442
He's just got one problem.
323
00:21:59,776 --> 00:22:03,572
Mating season isa little... fighty.
324
00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:12,539
Males beat the crapout of one another
325
00:22:12,622 --> 00:22:16,376
in a predictably macho attemptto impress the ladies.
326
00:22:42,486 --> 00:22:45,197
You dumb buck.
327
00:22:45,530 --> 00:22:48,116
And no one is worsethan this guy.
328
00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:55,874
Craig's arch rival,the dominant male.
329
00:23:00,253 --> 00:23:01,380
But some of the ladies,
330
00:23:01,463 --> 00:23:04,424
they can sniff outan insecure alpha a mile away.
331
00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:11,223
This is Jane Doe.
332
00:23:11,473 --> 00:23:13,892
A deer, a female deer.
333
00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:16,770
I'm so sorry.I had to do it.
334
00:23:18,313 --> 00:23:19,648
And to use local parlance,
335
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:25,153
she thinks the dom is a lazy,beef-witted stick.
336
00:23:31,993 --> 00:23:34,371
But Craig, he's not likethose other bucks.
337
00:23:34,454 --> 00:23:35,747
He's a nice guy.
338
00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:39,167
He's, all he's gotta dois get Jane to notice him.
339
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:43,171
The trouble is, whenit comes to strategies
340
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:45,674
for impressing Jane thatdon't involve fighting,
341
00:23:46,049 --> 00:23:48,593
most of the guys have no idea.
342
00:23:50,095 --> 00:23:54,141
I'm so sorry.Won't happen again.
343
00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:58,353
And some of them just aren'tinto Jane in the first place.
344
00:24:04,067 --> 00:24:08,113
But Craig knows there is oneother thing a male deer can do
345
00:24:08,196 --> 00:24:09,823
to impress a female.
346
00:24:12,826 --> 00:24:16,580
He waits until justthe right moment, and...
347
00:24:17,998 --> 00:24:22,836
Sweet Michael Fassbender,now that is a move!
348
00:24:23,170 --> 00:24:25,297
Oh, Craig, you crazy.
349
00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:28,925
I think I want tohave your baby.
350
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:34,556
Craig is spraying himselfin a mixture of pee and semen
351
00:24:34,639 --> 00:24:35,891
on purpose.
352
00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:40,562
As cologne goes,well, that's a bold choice.
353
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:43,648
But thanks to all thosesweet-smelling pheromones,
354
00:24:43,815 --> 00:24:45,609
Jane loves it.
355
00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:54,659
And while the domis busy fighting,
356
00:24:55,410 --> 00:24:58,955
she sneaks off for a roundwith fragrant Craig.
357
00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:04,085
Avert your eyes.
358
00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:07,088
This isn't for you.
359
00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:09,424
This is just for me.
360
00:25:10,383 --> 00:25:12,761
Oh, okay, that was fast.
361
00:25:12,886 --> 00:25:14,513
Way to level up, Craig.
362
00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:16,973
I guess beauty really isin the eye of the beholder,
363
00:25:17,891 --> 00:25:19,935
or in this case, the nose.
364
00:25:24,564 --> 00:25:26,107
And if you thinkthat was gross,
365
00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:27,108
hold onto your hippos,
366
00:25:27,192 --> 00:25:30,111
because it's timefor a full-on assault.
367
00:25:31,488 --> 00:25:33,114
Ass-sault.
368
00:25:33,823 --> 00:25:35,700
Ass... sault.
369
00:25:46,127 --> 00:25:47,712
This is...
370
00:25:50,131 --> 00:25:53,134
Yep, ooh, okay,I'm gonna just call him Po.
371
00:25:55,011 --> 00:25:57,222
After a hard daypatrolling the riverbank,
372
00:25:57,305 --> 00:25:59,140
he's heading backto his wallow,
373
00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:02,352
to the somewhat awkward companyof his many exes.
374
00:26:07,315 --> 00:26:08,733
And his various kids.
375
00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:21,580
Oops, mind the little one.
376
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:24,583
But Po's peaceful home life
377
00:26:25,041 --> 00:26:27,836
is about to getturned upside down.
378
00:26:30,088 --> 00:26:33,174
Upriver, water holesare drying up.
379
00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:36,678
Space is running out.
380
00:26:37,137 --> 00:26:39,097
Rival males arestarting battles
381
00:26:39,222 --> 00:26:41,850
over access to deep water.
382
00:26:59,909 --> 00:27:01,745
And when two of the mostdangerous animals on the planet
383
00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:03,288
go head to head,
384
00:27:04,956 --> 00:27:07,125
outcomes can be...
385
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,170
decisive.
386
00:27:19,971 --> 00:27:21,973
Now, one of the most murder-y
387
00:27:22,057 --> 00:27:23,850
of all these roly-polyanger bags
388
00:27:23,933 --> 00:27:27,395
is heading in Po's directionlooking for a spot to steal.
389
00:27:30,815 --> 00:27:35,028
Even if it means killing Poand stealing his family.
390
00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:50,794
But Po's, well, he's notdoing anything.
391
00:27:53,963 --> 00:27:55,799
Po, did you hear me?
392
00:27:57,342 --> 00:27:59,511
He's a maniac.
393
00:27:59,719 --> 00:28:02,889
He's gonna steal your home,you could lose your family.
394
00:28:03,765 --> 00:28:07,018
It's, it's timeto do something.
395
00:28:18,780 --> 00:28:19,823
But Po isn't crazy enough
396
00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:22,867
to take this intruder onface-to-face.
397
00:28:32,377 --> 00:28:35,964
Not when he's got a specialability in his skillset.
398
00:28:39,509 --> 00:28:41,428
♪ You better runfor your life ♪
399
00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:43,388
♪ You are not preparedfor tonight ♪
400
00:28:43,596 --> 00:28:45,473
♪ You better runfor your life ♪
401
00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:47,183
♪ You are not preparedfor tonight ♪
402
00:28:47,392 --> 00:28:49,394
The family knows what's coming.
403
00:28:49,769 --> 00:28:50,937
♪ You don't havea chance in sight ♪
404
00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:53,231
♪ You better runfor your life ♪
405
00:28:53,481 --> 00:28:55,650
And they do not wantto be collateral.
406
00:28:55,775 --> 00:28:57,026
♪ I ain't trynnabring you down ♪
407
00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:59,028
♪ But for real, you mightas well give up now ♪
408
00:28:59,154 --> 00:29:01,114
♪ Think you got a chancebut I don't see how ♪
409
00:29:01,322 --> 00:29:03,533
♪ Got a real tight gripwhen I hold that crown ♪
410
00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:04,826
♪ Came here ready to fight ♪
411
00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:06,578
♪ On this nightyou better just... ♪
412
00:29:13,084 --> 00:29:14,002
♪ Run for your life ♪
413
00:29:14,085 --> 00:29:14,961
♪ Aaaaaaah ♪
414
00:29:15,044 --> 00:29:18,840
Po's special move isto spray his rival
415
00:29:19,174 --> 00:29:21,926
with his own fffffeces.
416
00:29:22,010 --> 00:29:23,636
Yes, there it is.
417
00:29:28,975 --> 00:29:31,478
There are those who tastefullycall this defense
418
00:29:31,644 --> 00:29:33,730
a defecation fan.
419
00:29:38,485 --> 00:29:41,571
And note the oscillation,the skill, the poise.
420
00:29:41,821 --> 00:29:45,992
But I know a poop-nadowhen I see one.
421
00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:50,789
The bad guy can't getout of there fast enough.
422
00:29:55,418 --> 00:29:58,171
That's one way to defeatthe big bad boss of this level.
423
00:30:05,595 --> 00:30:08,598
Leaving Po and his family safe.
424
00:30:09,057 --> 00:30:10,391
♪ Run for your life ♪
425
00:30:13,102 --> 00:30:14,187
♪ Run for your ♪
426
00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:17,774
And while we're onthe topic of winning,
427
00:30:17,899 --> 00:30:19,567
looks like Mr. Persistence here
428
00:30:19,651 --> 00:30:22,821
has finally reachedthe bottom of the tree.
429
00:30:22,904 --> 00:30:25,865
But will never reachthe Olympics.
430
00:30:28,535 --> 00:30:30,286
But why spend an eternity
431
00:30:30,537 --> 00:30:33,289
descending intodangerous territory?
432
00:30:39,546 --> 00:30:42,966
It's so he can download hisweekly poop at ground level.
433
00:30:49,222 --> 00:30:51,140
Yes, he could have dropped itout of a tree
434
00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:52,767
like a jungle meteorite--
435
00:30:52,934 --> 00:30:54,269
I would have--
436
00:30:55,395 --> 00:30:58,481
but he risked dangerfor the sake of these guys.
437
00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:06,990
The roughly 120 moths livingon his disgusting body
438
00:31:07,156 --> 00:31:09,576
are the key to hislifesaving camouflage.
439
00:31:12,996 --> 00:31:15,456
But they can only laytheir eggs down here,
440
00:31:15,623 --> 00:31:18,126
in his excrement.
441
00:31:20,545 --> 00:31:23,965
Some sloth poopologists thinkthat by holding it in
442
00:31:24,173 --> 00:31:26,676
until he reachesthe bottom of the tree,
443
00:31:26,759 --> 00:31:29,512
the sloth helps breedcamouflaging moths,
444
00:31:29,596 --> 00:31:33,975
which keep him greenby pooping in his fur,
445
00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:35,894
so he can poop more safely,
446
00:31:36,227 --> 00:31:38,938
and then they can lay babiesin the poop, and he can poop,
447
00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:41,941
and they can poop, and so onfor the rest of time.
448
00:31:43,985 --> 00:31:47,155
Now all he has to dois climb back up.
449
00:31:48,740 --> 00:31:49,991
Good luck!
450
00:31:54,037 --> 00:31:56,831
The world's underdogs havegrossout moves for overcoming
451
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,417
just about every problemlife can throw at them.
452
00:31:59,542 --> 00:32:02,378
So just how gross do youhave to be to succeed
453
00:32:03,212 --> 00:32:05,715
in the most challenginglevel of all?
454
00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:10,511
A massive multi-characterarena-based death match.
455
00:32:11,846 --> 00:32:14,807
Or as it's knownin the animal kingdom,
456
00:32:15,016 --> 00:32:16,809
the African savanna.
457
00:32:17,727 --> 00:32:20,605
Chock-full of swaggeringbigshot bosses
458
00:32:20,855 --> 00:32:22,649
like these showboats.
459
00:32:23,024 --> 00:32:26,152
The trick is, like prison,on the first day,
460
00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:28,905
you gotta shankthe biggest guy you see.
461
00:32:31,574 --> 00:32:34,869
You got to establish dominance.
462
00:32:38,915 --> 00:32:42,210
So when they're taking allthe best loot for themselves,
463
00:32:42,669 --> 00:32:45,964
the underdogs have to winthe game another way.
464
00:32:48,257 --> 00:32:50,426
By getting overtheir gag reflex
465
00:32:50,551 --> 00:32:52,929
and going for the stuffnobody else wants.
466
00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:58,851
In this case,a tasty smorgasbord
467
00:32:59,018 --> 00:33:01,396
of offal, intestines,and bones,
468
00:33:02,105 --> 00:33:04,774
seasoned with a pinch ofanthrax, a dash of botulism,
469
00:33:04,941 --> 00:33:06,401
and cholera to taste.
470
00:33:06,609 --> 00:33:08,653
It's like nature'sgas station sushi
471
00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:11,322
but less biochemical weapon-y.
472
00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:15,910
Not my idea of lunch, but thenI'm not one of these guys.
473
00:33:18,830 --> 00:33:21,958
Meet username VisceraVoyager23.
474
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:27,964
Because NoobMaster69had some rights issues.
475
00:33:34,178 --> 00:33:36,222
Vultures aren't bigon hunting or fighting,
476
00:33:36,389 --> 00:33:38,766
but when it comes to happilydevouring the contents
477
00:33:38,891 --> 00:33:41,519
of a rancid,fly-infested boneyard,
478
00:33:41,602 --> 00:33:42,937
they are the pro gamers.
479
00:33:46,649 --> 00:33:50,403
To keep this metaphor going,their stats are impressive.
480
00:33:51,612 --> 00:33:56,868
They can fly up to 35,000 feet,cover 200 miles a day
481
00:33:57,285 --> 00:33:59,954
and spot a three-foot carcassfrom four miles away.
482
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,085
And when VV23 drops in...
483
00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:15,887
...she squads up with a wholeparty of sidekicks,
484
00:34:15,970 --> 00:34:19,140
each with a special skillsetmore disgusting than the last.
485
00:34:23,978 --> 00:34:27,190
VisceraVoyager is whatscientists call a ripper,
486
00:34:27,273 --> 00:34:29,692
or what Australianscall a rippah.
487
00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:34,697
Great at breaking downthe tough stuff.
488
00:34:44,832 --> 00:34:47,126
While her buddy GoreReaperis a gulper
489
00:34:47,210 --> 00:34:49,837
with a head specially suitedto getting the good stuff
490
00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:51,672
out of all thosehard-to-reach places.
491
00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:57,136
♪ Because we are your friends ♪
492
00:34:57,261 --> 00:35:00,431
♪ You'll never be alone again ♪
493
00:35:00,598 --> 00:35:02,308
♪ Well, come on ♪
494
00:35:02,517 --> 00:35:06,771
And Player 3, Insert Name,is what's known as a scrapper.
495
00:35:06,854 --> 00:35:09,524
♪ Because we are your friends ♪
496
00:35:10,024 --> 00:35:12,527
And he's going in forjust a little slice.
497
00:35:14,195 --> 00:35:16,447
♪ Well, come on ♪
498
00:35:17,657 --> 00:35:19,200
And finally, there's butt guy.
499
00:35:21,828 --> 00:35:25,289
Not exactly an attribute,more of a personal preference.
500
00:35:25,373 --> 00:35:27,125
You go get him, butt guy.
501
00:35:28,209 --> 00:35:30,670
When it comes to mininga putrefying carcass...
502
00:35:33,464 --> 00:35:36,008
...everyone can play a part.
503
00:35:39,804 --> 00:35:40,847
The end of the day,
504
00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:43,182
vultures are team playersin the game of life.
505
00:35:43,391 --> 00:35:47,728
♪ Because we are your friends ♪
506
00:35:47,812 --> 00:35:50,982
♪ You'll never be alone again ♪
507
00:35:51,065 --> 00:35:52,733
♪ Well, come on ♪
508
00:35:52,984 --> 00:35:54,610
♪ Well, come on ♪
509
00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:56,863
♪ Well, come on ♪
510
00:35:57,113 --> 00:35:59,448
♪ Well, come on ♪
511
00:36:01,576 --> 00:36:03,411
Not only wouldthe world be knee-deep
512
00:36:03,578 --> 00:36:05,371
in dead bodies without them,
513
00:36:06,038 --> 00:36:09,125
their super-strong stomach aciddigests away all the toxins,
514
00:36:09,208 --> 00:36:11,377
all the bacteria,that if left unchecked,
515
00:36:11,919 --> 00:36:14,172
would leave other animalsterribly sick,
516
00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:17,675
or crapping throughthe eye of a needle.
517
00:36:18,718 --> 00:36:21,512
Literally, and some mighteven say heroically,
518
00:36:21,679 --> 00:36:23,055
saving their lives.
519
00:36:24,599 --> 00:36:28,519
So thanks to the vultures, theworld is kept clean of disease,
520
00:36:28,769 --> 00:36:32,607
pestilence, and well, whateverit is that guy's eating.
521
00:36:35,067 --> 00:36:38,821
And Mother Nature, and all hercharges, can keep on playing.
522
00:36:45,703 --> 00:36:47,830
What's that? Thank you?
523
00:36:48,039 --> 00:36:50,416
You're welcome, Mr. Buffalo.
524
00:36:52,835 --> 00:36:54,879
Well, there you have it, theunderdogs' secret to winning
525
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:58,758
the game of life simply bybeing their disgusting selves.
526
00:37:06,140 --> 00:37:10,269
So bring on the poop, bring onthe butt-burp buoyancy aids,
527
00:37:10,478 --> 00:37:13,231
the defecation fans,show me the snot hammocks,
528
00:37:13,606 --> 00:37:15,858
shower me insemen-scented cologne,
529
00:37:15,942 --> 00:37:18,069
install me a butthole saferoom.
530
00:37:20,571 --> 00:37:23,407
Okay, even I've hitmy own grossout limit,
531
00:37:23,491 --> 00:37:25,409
so let's just,we're gonna shut it down.
45485
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