All language subtitles for Heartbeat s16e16 No Laughing Matter

Heartbeat, what do you miss when my baby
kisses me?

Heartbeat, what does a love chip say in
my memory?

I'm looking at my sheet, Ted.

Oscar's away.

I'm rushed off my feet.

See what I mean.

See you later.

Bye.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Ainsfield Arms.

Hiya, Phil.

Yeah, yeah, the estate agent phoned. A
couple of possibilities for us to look

at.

Look, can I call you back? I'm up to my
eyes, innit?

What do you mean, you cheeky beggar?

Rooms to clean, food to prepare, and
I've got customers waiting.

I love you too.

Bye.

Sorry about that.

What can I get you?

I gather you need a cellar man.

I had a drink at Flying Horse last night
and they mentioned it.

Yeah, I was trying to find a relief man
for shifting barrels and bottling up and

that. Well, I've done the job before.

It's very temporary, though. A week, ten
days at the most. I'm keen to find

work. I've got young kids. I need
anything going.

I do need someone with real experience,
though.

I'm an experienced cellar man, honest.

I've done bar work, too.

Pub, hotel, all over.

You got references?

Not with me.

They're not a problem, though.

OK, then.

The train men are here.

Help me get my delivery in. See how you
get on.

All right.

Sure.

I'm popping over to Wadensfield for a
pint.

Can I offer anyone a lift?

Well, I would take you up on that, Jeff,
but I am in a bit of a hurry.

How do you mean?

Well, I'd like to get there for last
orders. That's what I mean.

I don't go that slow.

You reckon?

He took that one to drive down High
Street the other day and nearly gave him

parking ticket.

Oh, leave the lad alone.

There's nothing wrong with being a
careful driver, is there, Jack?

That's right.

We're not all speed merchants.

So I said to this old Yorkshireman, I
said, what kind of car do you drive? He

says, a Rolls -Canardly. I said, a Rolls
-Canardly? He said, yes, it rolls down

hills, but can hardly get up the other
side.

Politician, out canvassing.

He says to this Yorkshireman, he says,
have you lived in Yorkshire all your

life? The fellow thinks for a bit, jumps
on his pipe and says, I don't know yet.

Ten is the name.

laughter's the game.

Soon to be seen in panto at the Alhambra
Theatre Whitby. I advise you to book

early to avoid disappointment.

And my glass seems to be empty again.

Oh, thank you.

You all right, Miss Forster?

I'm fine, thank you, Tina.

I hope you're enjoying your stay with
us.

I'm sorry it's a bit more lively in here
than usual.

I understand you used to be on the
wireless. Oh, yeah, yeah, a few years

He's doing the Christmas panto in
Whitby.

He seems to enjoy being the centre of
attention.

Oh, dear, he's looking at me now. I'm
sure he's quite harmless.

You're off to the antique fair in
Harrogate together?

Yes, I deal in antique jewellery. The
mare in your necklace, that's antique,

isn't it? It's Victorian.

Belonged to my grandmother.

Worth a few bovats, eh? Yes, but I'd
never sell it. Very dear to me.

This is Miss Forster, Tommy.

Hi. So lovely, Gina.

I'm heartbroken to hear you're engaged
to be married to a copper.

That's right.

Actually, if you'll excuse me, Al.

Your fiancée'll like this one.

A copper pulls a bloke over for
speeding.

So she's not about, then?

Oh, she were that full of coal. Bernie's
made her take a couple of days off, so

I've been helping out on the pump.

Well, I should drive summat like that.

You know, it's humiliating being passed
by everything on the road in this.

Anyway... I've been left a bit of money
by an auntie of mine, so I'm hoping

Rosie's going to help me find some, but
we're a bit more oomph. Well, I've got

contacts in the motor trade.

I could sort you out.

Do you know much about cars? Yeah, of
course I do.

You leave it with me.

That'll be nine and six for petrol,
please.

Yeah, quite like this one.

Oh, nice.

I'll get them through a range of you and
then A. Good idea.

So, who's Macy Boy, then?

Len, he's helping me out while Oscar's
away. I've seen him before. Where is he

from? I'm not sure.

Well, you just took him on, did you?

Did you not ask for any references?

Phil, I trust my own judgement, OK?

Don't you ever stop being a copper.

It's all right.

in its case last night.

Someone's been in the drawer. The case
is here, but the chain's gone.

Are you sure it was in its case?

Yes, certain.

I put it in there last night before
retiring to bed.

And you've had a good look around?

Look, it's not here.

It's been stolen. You'd better call the
police.

Right.

Did you lock your door when you went to
bed last night, Miss Worcester? Of

course I did.

But you say there's no sign of any
forced entry?

No, the lock's not broken.

Is there a passcode to the room?

Yeah, it's kept on a hook behind the
barber. I've checked, it's still there.

It's possible that somebody might have
used the key to gain entry to the room

and then replaced it.

I suppose they could have, yeah.

What time did you go to bed, Miss
Forster?

Around half ten.

I read for a while.

I remember the church clock striking
eleven. Must have dropped off to sleep

after that.

No sign of any external break into the
premises, Sarge. And the necklace

disappeared after the premises were
locked up.

Sounds like an inside job, then. What
are you saying?

Someone staying here took it?

Possibly. Or perhaps a member of staff.

This new chap you've taken on, Len
Carter, what time did he leave?

He worked till closing time.

Cleared some ashtrays and glasses,
sorted out the drip trays.

Probably about quarter past, twenty past
eleven.

Did he come upstairs at all?

I don't think so.

I can't be certain, cos I was busy in
the kitchen.

What other residents do you have
staying, Gina? Just a couple of

travellers. They've been regular guests
for years.

They weren't in the bar last night and
they both left their thing.

Well, we'll need addresses for them.

Anyone else?

Just Tommy Tanner.

Not the Tommy Tanner.

I had a few drinks in the bar and then I
came up to bed.

What's all this about?

A resident appears to have lost a
valuable piece of jewellery.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

You didn't see or hear anything
suspicious during the night?

No, nothing. I slept like a log last
night. I woke up in the fireplace.

Look, if you want to search my room,
you'd be my guest.

That won't be necessary, sir.

But if you do recall anything, you let
us know. Of course, Sergeant.

I was gone by 11.

Miss Ward thought it was a bit later
than that.

Well, I don't think so.

Did you visit any of the residents'
rooms last night?

Of course not.

Are you aware that there's a passkey to
the rooms? Well, yeah.

Gina showed me everything when she took
me on.

But my job's the bar, not the rooms.

So if I have it dusted for prints, yours
won't be on it?

No.

Why would there be?

We'll get their local police to have a
word with your commercial travellers. In

the meantime, if it does turn up, let us
know.

Of course I will. Cheers, Gina.

Ciao.

Tummy seems to be a bit on edge.

Let's keep an eye on him.

All right, all right.

Peggy, I thought you were supposed to be
helping me with these pumps.

I got this young chap.

Cash buyer, looking for a bit of oomph
under his bonnet, he said. Anyway, the

point is, Harry, if I was to put his
business your way, will I get my usual

slice of commission?

Oh, that'll do nicely.

Yeah. Yeah, I'll pop along and have a
look what's on your forecourt.

All right, bye.

Sorry to interrupt, Sarge. I just had a
call from CRO about Lynn Carter.

Is he known to us?

I'm afraid so.

He had various convictions for theft.
And he was part of a gang who robbed and

beat up an old lady in Hull. He got
three years for that.

Did he indeed?

I'm not very keen on people who beat up
old ladies.

And we had a call from Gina at the pub.

She thought we'd like to know that Len
Carter's packed in the job.

Don't you have a word to show what may
be done?

Have you never had a way to find the
sun?

Sergeant Miller, P .C. Walker.

Is Legg Potter here?

What do you want me to do?

I'm his wife.

May we come in?

Right, Mr Carter, we'd like to ask you a
few more questions about the missing

necklace. Right, here, let's talk
outside.

Hang on.

What's this about?

We talked to your husband earlier.

A necklace went missing from a guest
room at the Aidensfield Arms last night.

You never mentioned this, Len. No, I
didn't think to.

Why did you pack your job in?

Packed in?

You said you'd been let go because the
fellow man was back.

Look, I told you, I don't want to
discuss this in front of my family. No,

I want to hear.

You said you left the pub at about 11 o
'clock.

What time did you get home?

I don't know.

It's about a ten -minute walk.

A ten -path, I suppose.

Can you confirm this was a carter?

No, I was asleep when he got in.

Of course, it's not the first time the
property's gone missing from a hotel

room, is it, Len? Oh, God, no, please.

What do you mean?

Surely you must be aware of your
husband's previous convictions.

Is this true?

Len?

I'm so sorry, love.

It was before I met you ages ago.

I just got into trouble a few times.
What sort of trouble?

Perhaps you better have talk outside.

No, I want to know.

What convictions, Len?

They were dealing in that... I did a
stretch for robbery and assault.

What?

Come on, you two, upstairs.

I'm sorry she had to find out about
that.

We've put out an alert to all dealers,
jewelers and pawnbrokers. That necklace

won't be easy to shift. I haven't got
it. Why don't you just leave me alone?

And if necessary, I can get a warrant to
search this house.

I'll be keeping an eye on you, Mr
Carter.

I'm sorry, love.

No, it's here now.

It's for you, Peggy Armstrong.

She says she's got something for you,
with bags of oomph.

You what?

Oh, yeah.

Thank you.

Hello, Mrs Armstrong?

Yes?

Ooh, that sounds promising.

Yes?

Well, it's nearly dinner time. I could
pop to the bank for the cash and come

over now if you want.

Yes.

All right. Yep. Thank you.

Bye.

It's me brain health.

It's popping out.

Bit of private business.

Concerning him?

Yeah.

Something like that.

Three of us broke into this house.

While we were robbing it, the old woman
who lived there came home.

We started to leg it, but she was a
brave old bird.

She grabbed Terry, one of the others,
and he just hurled her off and she

her head on the sideboard.

Terry said leave her, he just kept
going.

Her eyes had gone all funny and her head
was bleeding.

So I stayed and tried to do what I could
for her.

I got a flannel for blood on that.

I was still there when Coppers arrived.

I got three years, Annie.

The old lady survived, but... I was so
thinking about what we'd done, I... I

swore I'd go straight when I got out and
I have.

And I was lucky enough to meet you.

So she handed me pasta.

I couldn't tell you.

On our kids' lives, I've done nothing
wrong since.

I'm from a decent family.

We're not used to answering the door to
the police.

I didn't steal that necklace.

Can I believe that?

Can I ever trust you again?

What else don't I know about you?

That's it, I promise.

Please, Annie, you have to believe me.
No!

I don't want you near me.

Or near the boys.

All right.

If that's how you feel, I'll go.

This is not just a car, my friend. This
is a must -have Mark I Cortina. We're

talking a highly economical 1600 twin
-cam engine, perfect for tooling or

tweaking up. We're talking Lotus
-designed suspension, superb road

aluminium dashboard trim and moulded
seats. And we're talking loads of motor.

For the money.

Snap it up or risk heartbreak, my
friend. And this is a car to die for.

The flying squad down in the Met drive
these.

It's fabulous.

We're talking real unfair.

I see you in this, Geoffrey.

But you ought to get your money out and
do your deal before somebody beats you

to it.

Okay.

No. No, he's here.

Can we get on back from dinner yet?

It's Gina from the Avon's Field Arms.

She's got an urgent message about the
missing jewellery.

Sergeant Millier?

Where?

Don't say anything to anyone till I get
there.

Can I talk to you, Walker?

Can't you meet me at the Avon's Field
Arms?

A neighbour saw Carter arrive home just
before ten past eleven, Sarge. Given

where he lives and Emily Forster's
timings, pretty well puts him in the

It may be in the clear anyway.

The jewel has been found elsewhere.

Yes, definitely mine.

Oh, thank goodness, it's a family
heirloom.

May I?

Miss Ward said she found it in Mr
Tanner's room.

Have you any idea how it might have got
there?

No.

I've never even spoken to Mr Tanner, let
alone been in his room.

Though I did.

Go on.

Well, last night in the bar, he did
stare at me.

At my jewellery.

It made me feel uncomfortable, so I left
the bar, didn't I, Gina?

I do remember her saying something about
it, yeah. And then she left.

Is Mr Tanner around?

No, he's at a rehearsal in Whitby.

I'll tell you what, if I had a knife
thrown out with my ex -wife, I wouldn't

miss her like you do.

I'm sorry to interrupt, Mr Tanner, but
could we have a word? If you're looking

for suspects, Sergeant, you've come to
the right place.

There's 40 thieves knocking about this
theatre somewhere.

In private, if you wouldn't mind.

It's not parking tickets again, is it?

In my hotel wardrobe.

Carnapin.

Miss Forster says she has no idea how it
came to be there.

Have you?

No, I haven't. Someone must have put it
there.

Who?

And why would they do that?

Well, I don't know.

The only thing I've ever needed is other
people's jokes.

You're not seriously accusing me of
theft.

I need an explanation as to how another
guest's property ended up in your room.

Well, I haven't got one. I've been set
up.

Somebody set me up. Must have.

Well, perhaps we could chat down the
station.

We can go through everything there. Oh,
this is a nightmare.

I'm going to have to miss rehearsal.

Can I phone my agent?

Of course.

What time do you call this?

Sergeant Miller after my blood.

No, you're lucky he's not here.

Peggy, blame it Armstrong.

I pay now 200 quid for a car.

That breaks her... Hello?

Mr Scripps?

Is PC Younger?

Is Mrs Armstrong there?

Yes. Yes, I would like to talk to her.

And stop, Tommy!

Is it true you've been arrested for
theft, Tommy? All right. All right.

going on, PC Walker?

We've heard he's been suspected of
nicking some jewellery. I can't comment

that, Arthur. Oh, come on, do us a
favour. This is a big story. I can make

bops on it to the National... As I said,
no comment. The public have a right to

know.

How did the press get on to it?

Perhaps someone at the theatre tipped
them off.

Look, I'm a family entertainer. I don't
need this kind of publicity.

We can make it clear that you're here
voluntarily, if that'll help. I don't

think it would, no.

Look, I have...

Absolutely no idea how this piece of
jewellery came to be in my wardrobe.

Let's go back to last night, shall we?

What time do you check into the pub?

Bernie! Bernie, can I have David take
the pickup truck to collect PC Younger's

car? He's broken down.

Has he asked us to do that? Well, not I
thought.

He's only just bought it and I put him
onto it and I'm feeling a bit guilty, so

I thought perhaps we could tow him back
on the house.

as it were. She's talking about a woman.
We didn't sell him the car. Get whoever

did to tow him in.

Anyway, I'm really busy. I've got taxi
jobs all day, aren't I, Peggy? Yes, yes,

I forget it.

Thanks a lot, David.

I am.

I'm really busy.

Got a little trap a bit under the
weather, I gather.

It's running a temperature.

Let's have a look, then.

You all right, honey?

Not really.

I found out some very disturbing things
about Len.

Before we end this news summary, we've
just received a report that the comedian

Tommy Tanner has been arrested at a
theatre in Yorkshire on suspicion of

We've no further details at present.

And now, here's Melody Hour with Moira
Masters.

Oh, dear Lord, what have I done?

Yes,

madam, how can I help you?

I've come to confess that I've done
something dreadful.

Tommy Tanner is completely innocent.

You are now saying that the necklace
wasn't stolen at all and that you put it

into Mr Tanner's room yourself?

Yes.

Can you tell me why you did that?

Well, you may find this strange, but
I've always admired him immensely.

I'm his greatest fan.

But he doesn't even know or care.

How do you mean?

Well, I know everything about him.

He was born Thomas Arthur Bates,
adopting the stage name Tanner in 1918.

He was an answer during the war. First
break in radio came on the Gangs in Town

show. His radio programme, Tanner's the
Name, ran from 1951 to 1957, and he has

twice appeared in the Royal Variety
performance.

I know every theatre, every show he's
ever appeared in.

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

If you're such a fan, why get him in
trouble?

Well, because he never knows how I...

I write regular cards, letters. I never
miss his birthday. I waited for hours

outside stage doors, only to have him
walk straight past me.

Well, that night was the final straw.

I stayed at the pub, especially to be
near him. And when Gina introduced me

they gave me a second glance.

I was nobody to him.

I was hurt.

This is the most precious thing I have.

I wanted to hurt him back.

Like Oscar Wilde said, I wanted to kill
the thing I love.

What a sad woman.

You weren't aware of her obsession with
you or your career?

Well, not really.

I mean, I haven't got time to clock
every face that turns up at the stage

read every fan letter in full.

You didn't recognise her at the pub? No.

Quite frankly, I wasn't really aware of
this woman's existence.

Yes, she knew everything about you.

Well, a lot of celebrities are plagued
by oddball fans.

What are you going to do with her?

At least she owned up before it went too
far.

I wouldn't want to persecute the woman
any further.

Leave that to me, Mr Tanner.

Thank you.

I'll see what I can do about getting
your station some complimentary tickets

the show.

It's all right!

I am naturally delighted that
allegations against me have been

I was the innocent victim of an attempt
to blacken my good name and reputation.

However, I feel no anger towards a woman
who did this.

My many genuine fans will, I know, be
relieved that this matter has been

resolved so quickly. Now, that's all.
Thank you.

Tommy,

is it true that this woman was sexually
infatuated by you?

Well, on all women.

It's all got it, you know, lads.

Tanner's the name, laughter's the game.

Making a false allegation and wasting
police time are very serious offences,

Miss Forster.

I could throw the book at you for this.

However, Mr Tanner has made it clear
that he's no wish to pursue this any

further. And as you yourself came
forward and admitted what you've done,

decided to let you off with a formal
caution.

Oh, thank you.

I'm very sorry, Sergeant.

Hiya, Rob.

Evening.

I came to let your husband know that the
missing jewellery business has been

sorted out. He's in the clear.

I see.

I'm sorry if our inquiry has caused you
any... You know.

It's not every day you learn you're
married to a thieving ex -con.

Poor thing.

She can't believe someone she's loved
and trusted could deceive her like this.

OK, but try and see it from his point of
view.

Maybe there was never an easy time to
tell her.

How would you react if a bloke proposed
marriage and then said, oh, by the way,

I'm an ex -cop?

So at least you're not a copper.

Very good.

Seriously, though, he may have wanted to
come clean but didn't want to risk

losing her.

Possibly.

I mean, she admits he's a good dad.

And the boys love him. Keep asking where
he is.

I think she's worried about him.

She said he looked really distressed
when he left.

OK, I'll keep an eye out for him.

I don't know what came over me. I'm
really sorry to have caused everyone so

trouble. Yeah, well, so am I.

Bye, then.

Ta -ra.

Trouble, oh trouble set me free.

I have seen your face and it's too much,
too much for me.

I've seen your eyes and I can see that
this guy's

banging on me.

Banging on me.

What's all this?

Oh, me and our David fetched it last
night. Out of his work hours.

He paid for it.

Well, I thought you might have a quick
look at it, see if you can get it going

again.

Marvin's Motors told me. Get them to
sort it out now to do with us. That's

then, Mr. Scripps.

Be quiet, David.

Well, they won't. Because P .C. Younger
bought it without any guarantee.

Then P .C. Younger is a chum. Look, I
told him it was sound. He trusted me.

Then P .C. Younger is a bigger chum.

You've heard of Alibaba.

Forty thieves had he.

Out for what we all want.

Lots of LSD.

He also had a camel.

Dollet from a door.

Bravo. Bravo!

Things I did for you, Tommy.

I got stage fright going into that
station. I hope it was worth it. Are you

kidding?

Alibaba's a sell -out now. My picture's
going to be splashed over every paper

tomorrow. My agent says the phone hasn't
stopped.

People in the business expressing
sympathy.

He's even managed to secure a few
bookies. Now there's a novelty.

And he's negotiating with the Sunday
newspaper about my exclusive about the

nightmare of being arrested.

You really are a devious little schemer,
aren't you? You bet.

That's why you're crazy about me, aren't
you?

That sergeant worried me. I thought he'd
see through my act. No.

He's just a country plod. And you are a
very good actress, Sadie.

Good enough for you to put in a word
with your agent, as promised.

Sure.

But you'd better keep your head down for
now.

Don't want you paying too many visits,
especially as I share a dressing room.

Being in the limelight, staying stead
stage, means a lot to you, doesn't it,

Tommy? If you'd been as big as me, you'd
understand.

I'd be starring at the Palladium, not
third on the billing panto at Whitby.

He's on the mend, I think.

I got a letter from Len this morning.

He isn't coming back.

Does he say that?

Says he realises he's completely
destroyed the trust on which our

built.

Doesn't want me and the kids to be
burdened by the shame of his past.

At the end, he just says he'll always
love me.

I'm the lad.

But that he won't be bothering you
again?

Which is all very well, but where does
that leave me?

Two young boys to bring up on my own.

You two have to talk.

Sort this out.

Have you any idea where he is?

No.

I said this was a car to die for.

I mean, I know it's a bit dodgy, but I'm
surprised it broke down so soon.

He did that because he had gaskets
blown.

It's also got a worn fan belt, faulty
exhaust, slipping clutch, worn brake

and the sills and chassis are crumbling
with rust.

That is not a car to die for. It's a car
to die in.

That's funny.

Hey, are your pictures in every paper?

It's nice to be in the public eye again.

I'm an honest, decent bloke.

I think everyone knows that.

Frankly, it'll cost more than the car's
worth to fix it.

Then I want my money back.

Oh, I'm not sure Harry Marvin will be
happy to oblige there.

We'll see about that.

No, no.

No, forget about Harry.

I'll fix the car. Don't talk rubbish.

I'm going to see Marvin, and then I'll
deal with you.

You see a whole new dimension to the lad
when he's roused, don't you?

His wife is concerned for his
whereabouts.

Carol Catherly wondered if we might help
in locating him.

Why? Because we exposed his past to his
wife. At her request.

I was quite happy to talk to him
privately.

If Dave had a row and he'd left home,
it's got nothing to do with us.

He hasn't got a car, he's not got much
money, so he can't have gone far.

Couldn't I just check out a few places?

No. The disappearance isn't suspicious.

It's not our job to look after people
who have left home.

He wrote an emotional letter.

Carol Cassidy's read it.

She's worried about his state of mind.

Still not a police matter.

I'm not very happy with your car, Mr
Marvin.

I want my money back.

My car?

No! No, no, my friend. That motor became
yours the moment you drove it off my

lot. It's a complete wreck.

Tough. I sold it in good faith and you
bought it as seen.

So you can just shove off.

All right, matey.

That was Mrs Adams from the B &B at
Rydell Crossroads.

She's got a guess with a similar
description to Len Carter.

He's behaving oddly and he's locked
himself in the bathroom.

Right. Thanks, Alf. I'll take a look.

This way.

This is the police. Open up.

Open the door, please.

He's in a bad way. I've got to call
Anne.

I heard the ambulance.

RTA, was it?

Nothing of any interest for you, Arthur.

It's like getting blood out of a stone
with you lot.

Just like yesterday.

Actually, I was surprised to see the
press already at the station.

Who tipped you blokes off?

No comment.

I'm being serious.

Was it the Alhambra, Whitby?

Not exactly.

How do you mean?

You'd have to ask our editor.

I'm asking you. Hang on, mate.

I'm just a reporter.

You're not just a policeman.

Who tipped off the Gazette?

All right. The call came from London.

Some big -shot press agent.

Well, he won't cough up.

so you can buy it back off me for the
same amount I paid.

Here's the logbook. Oh, I can't afford
to, Geoffrey.

No, maybe Rosie'll get it back on the
road for you when she gets better.

Just a bit of wire brushwork. You know,
some anti -rust paint. It could be as

good as new.

Don't be daft.

He's riddled.

Just a minute.

That can't be right.

Give me that logbook.

Thought not.

The chassis numbers don't match.

They're totally different.

That's funny.

Not just funny, it's illegal.

Annie.

How is he? He's lost a lot of blood.
It's not clear yet whether he'll be able

have a transfusion in time.

He must have been desperate to do what
he did. It's all my fault. Don't be

It is.

I drove him away.

Your reaction was understandable.

Come on.

Oh, dear God.

Don't let him die.

Rob, how did you go on at the hospital?

It's not looking good for him.

You know, there's something fishy about
this whole Tommy Tanner business and how

the press got hold of it.

Alf, did we get an address for Emily
Forster?

Yes. Well, did we verify that?

Oh, we didn't need to. She wasn't
charged with anything.

Here we are.

In the Midlands?

Let's see if the local boys know
anything.

Never very close to his own family.

At the wedding, half my lot had to sit
on his side of the church to fill it up.

My mother would have had a fit if she'd
realised it'd been inside.

We all make mistakes.

It's what we learn from them that
matters.

They're taking their time in there.

Cortina.

What Cortina?

The chassis numbers on the vehicle and
the logbook are different.

Really? That's your problem, sunshine,
not mine.

Well, selling someone a car with a
chassis number different to the one on

logbook is an offence.

Oh, really?

Who taught you that then, matey?

Nobody.

I already knew.

For crying out loud, you're a flaming
copper.

That's right.

And you're nicked, matey.

Warwickshire Police say the address
Emily Forster gave us was phony.

I expect her name was as well. Really?

The original call that tipped off the
papers came from London, a press agent.

Well, how do they know about it down
there?

Probably because Tanner called London
from the theatre just before we brought

him in.

Yeah, but why would you want to tip off
the press about your involvement in a

theft?

Because he already knew they'd be put in
the clear by Emily Forster.

He'd get loads of news coverage and he'd
come out smelling of roses if he didn't

press charges against her.

She was in league with him.

Well, if you're right, They've wasted
police time and resources on a cheap

publicity stunt.

They've also driven Len Carter to
attempted suicide.

I think it's time we had a word with Mr
Tanner.

Sadie? I told you not to come here
again. People might suspect us. Sage

didn't spot me. I had to see you.

The test rehearsal starts soon. He could
come back at any minute.

I went to the village shop earlier.

That barman from the pubs tried to kill
himself.

That's his risk.

So? He was suspected of stealing my
necklace.

His criminal past came to light and his
wife kicked him out.

What's that got to do with us?

It's all our fault.

If we hadn't pulled this stunt, he
wouldn't have tried to take his own

Now, hold on.

It's not our fault he's got a criminal
record.

He has young kids.

We've destroyed a family here.

It was a harmless publicity stunt.

Harmless? Tell me a man is fighting for
his life. What can we do about it?

We can come clean.

I feel really guilty now. We should
apologise to the police, press,

Look, look, look.

If people find out that I've set this
whole thing up...

My career is finished.

Is that all that matters to you?

It certainly matters more than some two
-bit loser with a criminal record, yes.

My God, say hello to the real Tommy
Tanner.

I have had it with you. It's finished.

I'm going to the police and I'm going to
tell them everything. No, Sadie, wait.

out for you.

Shoot your mouth off.

You could destroy my career.

My entire life. I won't. Tommy, please.

It's not a risk I can take, is it?

We're going to have a serious talk,
Sadie.

Away from everyone.

Go on.

Tommy, tell me who's dressing room.

If you were to go over there now, they
wouldn't connect you with me.

They'd think you were some sad little
showgirl who'd come here and take her

life. Help me!

This is the police!

What's going on up there?

Who's up there?

Screaming won't save you.

When they pick up your body, I'll be
back in the dressing room. You're going

over. Now.

Take it easy, Mr. Tanner. Let it go.

You stay back.

What?

It seems this Cortina was used as a
getaway car in a bank robbery in

just recently.

They gave it false plates and a phony
logbook and then passed it on to a dodgy

car dealer who was to sell it on to some
gullible mug punter.

Oh, nothing personal, lad. I'm just
quoting CID.

Well, they'll probably be able to crack
this robbery now we've got Marvin.

I intend to have a word with Peggy
Armstrong about her relationship with

car dealer.

How does it go, then?

Would you buy a used car from this
woman?

Not twice, I wouldn't.

I don't think I'll ever see you again,
honey.

He had me scared.

He's a tough man.

I love you, Annie.

You and the boys are everything to me.

Never leave us again.

Promise. I promise.

I can't change my past, though.

But my record life won't be easy.

I know.

but as long as we're honest with each
other from now on.

Sadie Danvers has admitted her part in
your publicity hoax. She will be charged

with wasting police time.

Well, Mr Tanner will face much more
serious charges.

That it should come to this, eh?

How did the Royal Command performance?

I was shaking hands with the Queen.

I was a comedy legend.

I have to love Tommy's radio show.

Yeah. It's disappointing sometimes when
you find out what people are really

like. I hope they don't include me.

Can't do.

You have to find out what you're really
like.

A few.

Gives me a breathing space, then.

Miller wants a word with me about Harry
Marvin.

Why? Because he's a villain, Mrs
Armstrong.

He's involved with some very unsavoury
people.

Oh, well, I hardly know him, do I,
David?

I thought you knew him quite well.

You're always saying that he's always
giving you money if you get someone to

a car off him.

Oh, God, he misunderstood me, as usual.

Yeah.

Drink up, big mouth, we're leaving.

PC Walker tells me that Mr Brady has a
habit of rubbing people up the wrong

I represent change.

It's a dirty word in a place like this.
You want to know if I'll go?

At least your eviction were a quick
death, Brian.

We'd all go its same road, but slower.
People who wouldn't have a true 36 from

dandelion and burdock.