All language subtitles for Growing Pains s04e12 Mom of the Year

This is Maggie Malone with this live
exclusive.

The end of the three -week -old Long
Island garbage strike may be at hand.

learned exclusively that the head of the
sanitation workers local, Happy

Spreckles, is meeting in secret session
at the home of Long Island garbage czar,

Red Cohen, at his Jamaica Bay townhouse.

We do not know the nature of their
discussions or when they will emerge,

I'll be standing by live to let you know
which way the wind is blowing. We now

rejoin Channel 19's exclusive
presentation of Ishtar.

Chefs never wear heels over a garbage
truck.

Oh, good.

Mr. Sidlovich, I wanted to talk to you.

How long do you expect for me to be
stranded?

I know a gown is not appropriate at
times.

I frankly wasn't planning to cover a
garbage strike.

He thinks I'm showing too much cleavage
for a work stoppage.

No, Mr.

Sidlovich, I bet if Dan Rather were
called just as he was about to accept

Working Mother of the Year Award, you'd
be surprised about how he'd be dressed.

You wouldn't?

Mr. Tislevich, isn't there somebody else
who could relieve me here? See, I...

There isn't?

Well, look at it this way.

Nobody's watching. They were running his
start tonight for crying out loud.

No, I'm so sorry I lost my head.

No, I just wanted to accept this award
tonight with all my heart and soul.

But I know my job comes first, not to
mention my personal loyalty to you.

No, Mr. Sidlovich, I'm not just saying
that.

Right.

Good night.

Well... Looks like we're going to be
spending the night together.

The gown was a thoughtful touch.

The best is ready to begin.

Hi, Jason.

Yes, we have no bananas.

We have no bananas.

Honey, you're just about through with
the entertainment program.

Mercifully.

Look, are you going to be able to make
it?

No. What?

No, I can't make it. I'm going to be
here all night up to my cleavage and

garbage.

Honey, they're going to call your name
soon.

Oh, honey, you're just going to have to
accept the award for me. Me?

I'm not qualified to accept a Mother of
the Year award.

Not this year, anyway.

I wouldn't know what to say.

Well, that's why I left a copy of my
speech in your pocket.

I know why they have no bananas. They
ate them all.

Honey,

I better go or they're going to
reconsider your award.

Bye, honey, thanks.

All right, I'll tell you how your speech
turns out.

Bye.

So this is my working mother of the year
banquet.

Working?

Thank you.

I had such a good speech.

You want to hear it?

Uh -huh.

My fellow working women.

A funny thing happened to me on the way
to the banquet tonight.

I know I forgot something. And then I
remembered.

My opening joke.

My opening joke. I forgot my opening
joke, which is my opening joke. See,

funny.

You're right. It stinks. I mean, what do
you expect? The Gettysburg Address? I

don't have time to write a speech. Do
you have any idea how insane the last 24

hours of my life have been?

Do you want to hear?

Actually, today started yesterday when
my husband was out of town. See, he left

the day before, but he's back today,
which, as I was telling you, actually

started yesterday.

But since my husband was out of town, I
was going to spend all night working on

my acceptance speech, but it just didn't
turn out that way.

What time is it? It's three o 'clock in
the morning.

Well, Mom, I was just, uh... What the
heck are you doing?

Bouncing my butt on the bumper and
making vroom -vroom noises. What does it

like?

You like this dad, don't you?

This has nothing to do with your father.
I'm just trying to get Chrissy to

sleep. Oh, is Chrissy in there?

Yeah. Oh, hi.

I usually drive her around the block,
but I'm low on gas.

Mom, it is three o 'clock in the
morning. Mike, will you help out here?

bottom's getting sore.

Yeah.

Sure.

So,

you drive Trish around like this a lot?

Only when she gets really cranky. She
likes the motion.

Actually, I kind of wish I had my camera
here with me.

You think this is crazy.

With you, we just strap the car seat
right to the old washing machine.

Wait, wait, wait. You strapped me to a
washing machine?

loved it.

Especially the spin cycle.

That old machine would start shaking. It
had that really distinctive rhythm that

would put you out in a flash.

Ka -choo, pa, ka -choo, pa, ka -choo,
pa, ka -choo.

Honey, could you take over for me here
so I can go in and work on my speech?

Mom, it's three o 'clock in the morning.

Well, it's either that or tell me
exactly where you've been and what

doing.

Happy writing.

Mike, slow down.

A funny thing happened to me on the way
to the banquet tonight. I knew I forgot

something. And then I remembered.

My opening joke.

That'll kill him.

Hi, honey.

Am I glad to see you.

Being in a convention with 200
psychiatrists for three days straight is

to drive anybody totally insane.

Honey? I guess I fell asleep.

Because the next thing I remembered, it
was morning.

See you, kids.

Mom, where are you going?

I am going to work to finish my speech
before things get too hectic around

But isn't this the day you're supposed
to talk to Ben's current events class?

What?

Mom, you didn't forget, did you?

Nah. All right, class.

Class. Can we all say good morning to
Channel 19 TV news reporter, Ms. Maggie

Malone? Good morning, Channel 19 TV news
reporter, Ms. Maggie Malone.

Well, okay, well, why don't we just...
Ms. Malone, who, as you know, is Ben's

mom, is going to tell us all about TV
journalism.

Please. Go ahead.

Well, I really haven't, you know,
prepared a speech today, but... A

funny thing happened to me on my way
here this morning. I knew I forgot

something, and then I remembered.

My opening joke.

I guess this is a joke for an older
crowd.

What joke?

Well, I bet you all have a lot of
questions about TV news, so why don't I

let you ask away?

Yes. Isn't it true most TV reporters are
vapid newsreaders with no real

journalism credentials?

No, it's not.

Wasn't that fun?

Yes. Tell us about the time you took Ben
along with you when you did that story

on the bad guys with the guns.

Um, uh, what story was this?

See, I told you Stephen was full of it.

Oh, you mean the gun smuggling story.

Uh, yeah.

Oh, right. Well, sometimes it's good to
have Ben with me on a dangerous story.

You know, somebody who knows how to
handle themselves in a tough situation.

And as I recall, those men got caught
because they were tripped up by all the

lies they told.

Wasn't that right, Ben? Um, yeah, lies.
That was it.

But I know that they had to face the
truth eventually, and I think they

their lesson.

Don't you, Bill? I sure did think that
they learned their lesson. Mm -hmm. Yes,

ma 'am.

Anybody else?

Mom, what are you doing home?

Oh, I got off early so I can finish my
speech.

Oh, but you're never home at this hour.
Oh, I got lucky.

Finally a moment of calm so I can make
some sense tonight.

Where's your father?

Oh, he's out getting a haircut for your
awards banquet.

Uh -huh. Well, not that I'd be up to
anything with both my parents gone.

Uh -huh. Well, I'll be upstairs writing.

Hi.

Oh, this is the right house, huh?

Oh, Ron, let's go.

Carol?

Oh, Mom, this is not a date. He's just
taken...

You're taking my daughter out to a bar?

Mom, it's not a bar bar. It's a health
bar.

They make great celery margaritas.

Really? You must be Mrs. Seaver.

I'm Ron Garner.

Hello? Carol, explain.

Well, I met Ron at the diet center.

That's right. Twenty pounds.

Well, see you, Mom. Carol, stop.

You know, Mrs. Seaver, you look very
familiar.

Maybe we went to school together.

You're Maggie Malone from Channel 19.

Wow. You know, you sure don't look old
enough to be Carol's mom.

You do.

Mom!

Ron!

How old are you?

28.

Well, well, well.

And Carol, how old were you your last
birthday?

About 17.

Excuse us, Ron.

Carol, ask Ron to leave right now.

But, Mom, if I do that, he's going to
think you're not letting me go out with

him. I am not letting you go out with
him. But, Ron, we will be just one

moment. No, we won't, Ron. Ron, you will
have to leave.

Really? I'm sorry, but you're too old to
date my daughter. Oh, I see.

Mom! No, no, Carol, look, that's all
right.

I'll see you.

Well, I don't mean fear exactly. I mean,
it's just a... Bye.

in front of Ron.

Carol, Ron should never have been here
in the first place. You can't date men

like that.

Mom, I know what you're thinking.

And just because the man has a little
bald spot.

Carol, the man does not have a little
bald spot.

The man is bald.

Oh, you hold that against him? Mom, I'm
surprised at you. Carol, Ron is 28.

You're 17. He's older.

Well, somebody has to be older. He's a
very sweet guy and you like him. Quiet.

I'm trying to have a conversation here.

Mom, I cannot date him.

poor George Burns gonna do, huh?

Quiet. I meant you be quiet. Mr.
Sidlovich, are you gonna talk or what?

Sir.

So Sidlovich called me down here and
since six o 'clock I've been waiting for

the garbage czar with you.

But you know that.

Ten o 'clock.

I wonder how my terrible speech went.

of the poor fat lady's just saying.

Mike, that was very cruel.

Carol, you're a biscuit away from making
it a quintet.

You better get ready. They're about to
call Mom's name. Oh, my gosh.

What? Well, it's your mother's speech.

It's... Dad?

Let the record show I didn't say that.

And now, I'm very pleased to introduce
our new Working Mother of

the Year, Maggie...

Hello, fellow working mothers.

Hey, buddy, who the heck are you?

I'm Maggie's husband, Jason. She
couldn't be here tonight.

Thank you.

But she did ask me to share with you
some of her thoughts.

So here goes. A funny thing happened to
her on the way to the banquet tonight.

She knew she forgot something, and then
she remembered her opening joke.

That man told us

to laugh.

So, I don't think I could possibly do
justice to my wife's wonderful speech,

so I think I'll just share with you my
impression of my wife.

I think it's best summed up in one
moment from last night. I had been away

on a trip, and it was very late.

Hi, honey.

Oh, boy, am I glad to see you.

Being at a convention with 200
psychiatrists for three days straight is

to drive a person totally insane.

I heard enough knock -knock jokes to
last a lifetime.

I know you promised to wait up for me,
sweetheart, and I have to admit I didn't

think you would. You know, it's kind of
late, but I sure appreciate that you

did, and I love you.

I wanted to talk to you.

Are you sleeping?

Sweetheart?

Sweetheart?

It's a baby.

Oh, honey, as long as you're up, will
you check on Christy?

Plenty of diapers in the closet.

Yeah, of course I will, my dear.

No problem. Nice talking to you.

Jason, sweetheart, welcome home. I
missed you. Love, guess who?

P .S. Hope it wasn't another marathon of
knock -knock jokes.

P .P .S.

Ramon, darling, if you're reading this,
please put it back. It's for my husband,

Jason.

It's midnight and in local headlines,
those secret garbage strike talks broke

off late tonight when garbage czar Red
Cohen punched out labor leader Happy

Spreckles, who says he's considering...

I'm sure in a dress like that, you'll
have no problem finding a meal.

Oh, no.

No, see, I was supposed to accept the
Working Mother of the Year Award

Oh, is this an international
competition?

No, it's the Long Island Professional
Women's Association.

Oh, then I had no shot. I live in the
Bronx.

Does sound kind of silly, doesn't it?

No, but I'm glad I didn't win the award.

Just another thing to dust.

Well, go ahead. I won't tell a soul.

You wouldn't happen to want a pickle,
would you?

Yeah, I can take my break a little
earlier.

Hot pastrami would go great with this.

You're out of luck.

Say, you look familiar to me.

I'm a reporter for the Channel 19 News.

My Ishtar station?

That's us.

I'm Maggie.

Kathleen.

I'm a cleaning woman.

I sense that.

How's the cheesecake?

It's a bit warmer than I like it.

Same with the pickle.

I'll bet you are the working mother of
the year.

How could you tell?

You didn't have time to pick up the
award.

You know, Kathleen, I... I didn't really
care about getting the award.

Exactly.

And I know it doesn't mean much. It's
just that it's... Well, it's nice to be

recognized every now and then.

Yeah.

I was the employee of the month in this
hotel in June.

Really?

1957.

That's nice.

Oh, you know what's nice?

That day, all four of my kids and my
husband took me out to dinner.

And they wouldn't let me lift a finger
in the apartment the entire weekend.

Now that was nice.

Oh, I should be getting home to my four
kids and my husband.

It's been nice talking to you, Kathleen.

Oh, same here.

Oh, hold on.

You forgot your award.

What?

Here.

Thanks.

Speech. Speech.

Oh, never mind.

Working Mother of the Year.

Welcome home to my favorite Working
Mother of the Year.

We all missed you tonight, but no one
more than me.

Love, guess who?

P .S.

They loved your speech, even though I
know I didn't do it justice.

P .P .S.

Ramon, you are one lucky hombre.

Sure glad I won this.

A 28 -year -old man?

Oh, you talked to Mom, I see. Carol,
what were you thinking?

Well, possibly, Dad. Mom did not convey
the complete picture of what occurred

yesterday. Was he 28? Yes. Was he bald?

Technically.

And was he taking you out of it? In a
way.

That's complete picture enough for me.

All right, Dad.

I've learned my lesson. From now on, my
date age limit will be 27.

Top. 19.

24? 19. How about 19?

That's a good compromise.

As long as he also has a full head of
bushy, healthy hair.

Fine.

But, Carol, I love you.