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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,690 --> 00:00:19,170 The commander of the Confederate Army was 2 00:00:19,170 --> 00:00:21,110 Bruce Lee. 3 00:00:22,630 --> 00:00:24,970 Robert E. Lee, close. 4 00:00:25,290 --> 00:00:30,210 The Civil War started in 1861 and lasted. 5 00:00:31,389 --> 00:00:32,810 Far too long. 6 00:00:35,030 --> 00:00:36,030 1865. 7 00:00:36,630 --> 00:00:39,270 You are so cool. 8 00:00:42,290 --> 00:00:43,890 You talking to me? 9 00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:46,490 I'm the only one here. 10 00:00:49,110 --> 00:00:51,290 Leave me alone. I'm trying to study, scuzzball. 11 00:00:52,910 --> 00:00:53,910 Scuzzball. 12 00:00:56,470 --> 00:00:59,890 Sorry, I thought you were Ben. I never call your scuzzball your face. 13 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:04,300 Mike, you said you were going to be cleaning up your room. 14 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:05,800 I did. 15 00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:11,580 Nice. Is that music a little loud? 16 00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:13,020 Oh, absolutely. 17 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,860 Dad, what are you doing? I'm trying to study here. 18 00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:21,080 Oh, well, I surely don't want to interfere with a study method that has 19 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,160 you to the brink of failure this year, Mike. 20 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:27,040 But for the sake of the plaster on the living room ceiling, I'd like you to 21 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:29,700 study for the history test without any loud distractions. 22 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,720 I don't know, Dad. All that silence can really throw me off. 23 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:35,480 Oh, let's risk it. 24 00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,180 Come on, just you and this book for one solid hour. 25 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,120 What's this? Are you pressuring me for a good grade? 26 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:45,380 No, I'm a realist, Mike. 27 00:01:45,900 --> 00:01:47,760 I'm pressuring you for a passing grade. 28 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:52,820 Come on, you've been squeaking through American history all year with a 67. 29 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,320 68. Oh, pardon me. 30 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:59,100 Come on, look, with this exam, you have a chance to really improve on that. 31 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,480 Why don't you aim for the stars? 70. 32 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:03,400 75! 33 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,660 I get the feeling you don't think I know this stuff. 34 00:02:11,460 --> 00:02:16,620 Abraham Lincoln was assassinated... True. 35 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:23,720 Well, a very wise man once said, Mike, that those who do not know their history 36 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:25,220 are doomed to repeat it. 37 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,160 You mean like in summer school? 38 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,440 Exactly. 39 00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:44,810 Abraham Lincoln was assassinated While he was still alive 40 00:02:44,810 --> 00:02:49,070 Show me that smile again 41 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,580 Ah, yeah, that must be it. You probably got him so fired up he's dizzy with a 42 00:04:02,580 --> 00:04:03,580 thirst for knowledge. 43 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:05,360 Okay, just listen. 44 00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:07,260 Mike? 45 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:09,560 Yeah? What are you doing? 46 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,200 Why? 47 00:04:13,740 --> 00:04:15,500 I'm curious. Are you still studying? 48 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,180 Yeah, there's no way I'm going to flunk this test. 49 00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:25,380 Jason, there's somebody in that room imitating Mike's voice. 50 00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:27,620 Oh, very funny, Mom. 51 00:04:44,810 --> 00:04:45,810 picnic for me either. 52 00:04:46,830 --> 00:04:47,830 A general. 53 00:04:48,130 --> 00:04:51,030 Just name any American general. 54 00:04:52,750 --> 00:04:55,630 General Motors. 55 00:04:58,650 --> 00:05:00,010 That's it. I'm going to bed. 56 00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:03,530 Bed? Come on, how can you think of bed at a time like this? 57 00:05:03,830 --> 00:05:06,910 Watching you wallow in your ignorance is too demoralizing. 58 00:05:07,930 --> 00:05:10,870 Nice. Okay, well, if you're so good at it, how do you study? 59 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:18,180 I read the material once assigned, I underline the key phrases, I take 60 00:05:18,180 --> 00:05:20,000 notes, and I quiz myself. 61 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:25,400 Underlining. 62 00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,000 Hi. Hi, where have you been? 63 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,080 Oh, I was up late studying. 64 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:33,580 Do you have a test too? 65 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:37,300 No. See, Mike could learn something from her. 66 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,100 No, he couldn't. 67 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,520 I hate to eat and run. 68 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:48,280 Hey, you didn't even finish your egg. Well, what I ate was very filling. Oh, 69 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,860 come on. You don't have to give me that. You don't have to make up a story. If 70 00:05:50,860 --> 00:05:54,520 you didn't like your breakfast, just say so. Jason. I can take it. Will I? Go 71 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:56,240 ahead, say it. It was yuck. 72 00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,080 That's better. 73 00:05:59,540 --> 00:06:00,540 Just kidding. 74 00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,100 Bye -bye. 75 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:03,540 All of it or just the egg? 76 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:05,700 Those were eggs. 77 00:06:08,940 --> 00:06:11,520 Okay, say good morning to God's gift to history. 78 00:06:14,190 --> 00:06:15,510 who's ready for a big history test? 79 00:06:15,770 --> 00:06:19,330 Ready? I'm not just ready, Dad. I've got it all. Names, dates, everything. 80 00:06:19,590 --> 00:06:23,570 I think today will go down in history as the day Mike Seaver turns the corner. 81 00:06:24,070 --> 00:06:25,630 February 20th, 1986. 82 00:06:26,390 --> 00:06:28,190 It's February 25th. 83 00:06:30,010 --> 00:06:31,010 Hey, Dad. 84 00:06:31,330 --> 00:06:32,330 Hi, Ben. 85 00:06:32,890 --> 00:06:33,970 This is breakfast? 86 00:06:35,590 --> 00:06:36,590 Yeah. 87 00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:38,310 What's for lunch? 88 00:06:39,530 --> 00:06:40,530 Surprise. 89 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:54,579 That's my bag. 90 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,120 Why is that fading you shoes? Come on, give it. I need that. 91 00:06:58,340 --> 00:07:04,080 Robert E. Lee Stonewall Jackson Appomattox Courthouse. 92 00:07:04,340 --> 00:07:07,460 Yeah, yeah. They're my buddies. I had them sign them for good luck. 93 00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:11,760 Do you know somebody named Appomattox Courthouse? 94 00:07:12,660 --> 00:07:15,700 Yeah. A black guy. Captain of the basketball team. 95 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,220 I just kicked over a brick wall. 96 00:07:36,060 --> 00:07:38,620 The one thing I know is that I don't know this. 97 00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:41,480 Bone, my man, you worry too much. 98 00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:44,140 At least I'll have you for company in summer school. 99 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:48,700 No, not this time. I got this thing. Hey, you mean to tell me you actually 100 00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:49,700 studied this stuff? 101 00:07:50,780 --> 00:07:52,400 Boner, boner, boner. 102 00:07:52,660 --> 00:07:54,440 So young, so naive. 103 00:07:56,420 --> 00:07:57,680 I've got cheat notes. 104 00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:58,960 Eddie, you... Shh! 105 00:07:59,910 --> 00:08:02,390 Come on, you say that too loud and people are going to get the wrong idea. 106 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:03,589 Where are they? 107 00:08:03,590 --> 00:08:05,290 Look, I don't know what you guys are talking about. 108 00:08:05,530 --> 00:08:07,830 Here, search me. Here you go, full body strip search. 109 00:08:08,190 --> 00:08:09,190 Uh, no thanks. 110 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,110 Teacher! Teacher! 111 00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:15,610 All right, people. 112 00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:20,570 I trust you're all sufficiently frightened. 113 00:08:21,970 --> 00:08:24,090 If not, you should be. 114 00:08:25,210 --> 00:08:28,750 Because this test will count for a quarter of your total grade. 115 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:30,259 A quarter? 116 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:37,080 Only yesterday he said 25%. This is multiple choice. You have 30 117 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:42,280 minutes, then your papers will be graded before you leave. You may begin. 118 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:51,260 The final noted battle of the Civil War was A, Battle of Bull Run, B, Battle of 119 00:08:51,260 --> 00:08:53,640 Gettysburg, or C, Battle of the Network Stars. 120 00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:58,720 Gettysburg. 121 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,360 The test results did surprise me. 122 00:09:21,980 --> 00:09:26,400 For instance, it was interesting to learn from Mr. Stabone that General 123 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,600 first name was Lou. 124 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,260 I can't look. I can't look. 125 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,000 I've got to look. 126 00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:40,620 67! All right! 127 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:50,110 And what is perhaps the biggest... shock in my teaching career since boys 128 00:09:50,110 --> 00:09:51,190 started wearing earrings. 129 00:09:52,070 --> 00:09:58,870 The highest grade in the class, 94, was earned by Mike 130 00:09:58,870 --> 00:09:59,870 Seaver. 131 00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:05,450 I am number one! 132 00:10:09,410 --> 00:10:10,410 Mr. 133 00:10:12,810 --> 00:10:16,130 Seaver, before we schedule a press conference, 134 00:10:17,740 --> 00:10:23,340 I have to ask, how does a student whose very name has become synonymous with the 135 00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:26,560 phrase D minus manage such a grade? 136 00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:31,080 What can I say, Mr. DeWitt? When you got it, you got it. 137 00:10:32,260 --> 00:10:38,400 Oh, and 138 00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,200 now I see where you got it. 139 00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:55,480 Are you actually calling me a cheater? 140 00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:59,580 Mr. Seaver, don't try to fool Willie DeWitt. 141 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,000 The shoes. 142 00:11:02,820 --> 00:11:05,160 Now. Mr. DeWitt. Yeah? 143 00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:15,180 Have your parent, guardian, or parole officer call for an appointment. 144 00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:17,840 You're turning it better. 145 00:11:26,839 --> 00:11:27,960 He beat you? 146 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,760 No, he just took my shoes. 147 00:11:33,140 --> 00:11:34,140 Oh, that stinks, Mike. 148 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:35,680 Yeah, real bad, too. 149 00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:39,700 What really bothers me is that this guy thinks I cheated. 150 00:11:39,940 --> 00:11:41,280 Boy, hard to imagine. 151 00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:45,140 I mean, he wouldn't even take my word that I didn't. 152 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:46,820 You really are good. 153 00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:51,800 What's that supposed to mean? I mean, here you are facing suspension and an F 154 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,180 history, and you're cool enough to play anything. 155 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,080 Look, I am innocent. 156 00:11:55,580 --> 00:11:57,240 Ooh, and outrage, too. 157 00:11:58,020 --> 00:11:59,020 Outrage is tough. 158 00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,360 I can only work up to a small frenzy myself. 159 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,260 Look, I did not cheat. 160 00:12:04,840 --> 00:12:08,060 No. And you didn't look at the answers on your shoes even once. 161 00:12:08,620 --> 00:12:10,080 Look, I'm not cheating around. 162 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:14,820 You know, maybe he's got the Roomba. 163 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,040 Of course, Mike. 164 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,400 You would never cheat. 165 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,640 Look, I did not cheat, and I'm tired of you guys saying that I did. 166 00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:23,660 Got it? 167 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:30,100 Five nights this week, the story that had all America reading will have all 168 00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:36,440 America watching. At 18, she was a nun. At 21, an acrobat. At 37, the mistress 169 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:37,440 of a president. 170 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:42,260 Joan Collins is... Old. 171 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:48,160 Hi, Mike. 172 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:49,640 Hi. 173 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,000 What's the matter? 174 00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:53,880 How do you know something's the matter? 175 00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:58,190 Because she didn't say high fido, high gung fred, or high nervous. 176 00:12:59,190 --> 00:13:00,210 So what is it? 177 00:13:01,850 --> 00:13:03,550 Kel, I'm living a nightmare. 178 00:13:03,910 --> 00:13:05,210 I mean, nobody believes me. 179 00:13:05,510 --> 00:13:09,150 Not Boner, not Eddie, not Cheech, not Murray. 180 00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:11,750 What are you talking about? 181 00:13:13,130 --> 00:13:16,610 Mr. DeWitt accused me of cheating on my history exam. 182 00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:18,110 You passed! 183 00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:20,390 Yeah, I passed. 184 00:13:21,090 --> 00:13:23,250 In fact, I got the highest grade in the class. 185 00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:27,270 94. 186 00:13:28,570 --> 00:13:31,290 Oh, oh, is this your way of saying you don't believe me either? 187 00:13:31,650 --> 00:13:34,850 Stop. Oh, oh, fine. Don't believe me, skunk bread. 188 00:13:35,210 --> 00:13:36,350 Fido, nerd face. 189 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,250 Mom, Dad. 190 00:13:44,510 --> 00:13:45,830 How great to see you. 191 00:13:46,430 --> 00:13:47,790 Is he talking to us? 192 00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:52,360 I mean, just knowing that I can count on you guys makes me feel happy. Oh, the 193 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,520 giddiness is completely mutual, Mike. 194 00:13:54,780 --> 00:13:56,660 Do you have a fever? 195 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,440 Say, 196 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:03,320 Meg, you don't suppose this has anything to do with his recent history test, do 197 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,780 you? You know, I am darn glad you brought that up. 198 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,300 I'd better sit down. 199 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:09,880 What happened? 200 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:13,320 Well, there's not too much to be said about the test itself. 201 00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:14,920 Ah, say it anyway. 202 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:18,800 I passed. 203 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,020 Completely? Yeah. 204 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:23,680 All right, Mike. 205 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,620 Congratulations. I knew that that little extra studying would pay off. Oh, 206 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:28,700 thanks. 207 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,160 But I do have some bad news. 208 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:35,960 And I think you better sit down for this, Dad. Just say what it is, Mike. 209 00:14:36,300 --> 00:14:37,920 I have a feeling you should sit. 210 00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:45,680 Now, what I'm about to tell you is going to get both of you quite angry. 211 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:50,040 And you will be outraged at the shoddy treatment I have received from Mr. 212 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,200 DeWitt. 213 00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:54,980 But I want your word that you're not going to go off half -cocked trying to 214 00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:56,100 this guy fired or something. 215 00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,680 I promise to be fully cocked, Mike. 216 00:15:00,940 --> 00:15:01,859 Now, Mr. 217 00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:07,020 DeWitt accused me of cheating. 218 00:15:10,540 --> 00:15:12,020 Now, just calm down. 219 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,720 I did not cheat. 220 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,990 Now, why would Mr. DeWitt think that? 221 00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:22,690 You know, I have been asking myself that same question all afternoon. 222 00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:24,350 Well, what'd you come up with, Mike? 223 00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:27,930 I don't know. I guess he didn't expect me to do that well on the test. 224 00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:29,890 Well, he did well? 225 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,130 He did well. 226 00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:33,490 How well? 227 00:15:35,050 --> 00:15:37,010 I rarely pay attention to the grades. 228 00:15:37,630 --> 00:15:39,030 Well, what'd you get, 70? 229 00:15:39,870 --> 00:15:40,870 75. 230 00:15:41,170 --> 00:15:42,170 Well... 80? 231 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:43,240 See, 85. 232 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:44,860 Actually... 94. 233 00:15:45,380 --> 00:15:49,200 94? Why, Michael Saber, I'm ashamed of you. 234 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,320 How could you cheat? 235 00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:54,280 I did not cheat. 236 00:15:54,660 --> 00:15:56,640 Is this 94 out of 100? 237 00:15:58,820 --> 00:16:01,360 I swear to you, I did not cheat. 238 00:16:01,820 --> 00:16:03,880 I give you my word of honor. 239 00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:08,540 Well, uh, I believe you. 240 00:16:11,380 --> 00:16:12,380 Really? 241 00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:13,780 Well, 242 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,620 if our son gives us his word, we've got to believe him. 243 00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:22,540 You're right. 244 00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:24,280 I believe you, Mike. 245 00:16:26,140 --> 00:16:27,140 Oh, thanks. 246 00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:31,160 I knew I could count on you guys. I'm sorry for every miserable thing I've 247 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,700 done to make your world a living hell. 248 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,940 And I'm sorry I doubted you, Mike, but it's a tough story to believe if you put 249 00:16:37,940 --> 00:16:38,940 yourself in my shoes. 250 00:16:40,460 --> 00:16:42,800 Mom's shoes aren't big enough for all the answers. 251 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,340 All right, the shoes. 252 00:16:47,580 --> 00:16:48,580 Thanks, Benny. 253 00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:50,780 I forgot to tell you guys the funniest part. 254 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,420 You guys are going to love this. 255 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:05,900 Benedict Arnold. 256 00:17:07,780 --> 00:17:09,119 Get away. 257 00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:14,200 Want some dinner? 258 00:17:15,020 --> 00:17:18,980 No, I am no longer eating the food that has been paid for by the people who 259 00:17:18,980 --> 00:17:19,980 think I'm a liar. 260 00:17:20,119 --> 00:17:21,119 What are those? 261 00:17:22,460 --> 00:17:24,000 Okay, so I'm easing into it. 262 00:17:25,079 --> 00:17:26,260 What do you want, anyway? 263 00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,440 Mike, I didn't mean to get you in such big trouble. 264 00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:31,420 That's okay. 265 00:17:31,780 --> 00:17:34,060 I knew the shoes would be too much for him. 266 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,080 It's been like that all day. 267 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:37,560 Everybody at school. 268 00:17:38,420 --> 00:17:42,480 Even Boner. I mean, last year I actually convinced the man I was an alien. 269 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,100 And people are acting like they expect me to cheat. 270 00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:50,460 Like I'm that kind of low stud ball. 271 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,460 I believe you. 272 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:57,580 What? Whatever you say, I believe it. Whether it's the truth or not. 273 00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:00,980 You all tell me something weird. 274 00:18:01,340 --> 00:18:03,900 That moment when Mom and Dad believed me. 275 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,240 Everything was okay. 276 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:12,160 My God, I actually care what they think about me. 277 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,240 I care what they think about me. 278 00:18:16,540 --> 00:18:18,980 Well, you're nine. That's okay to feel that way at nine. 279 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:23,120 But I'm 15. I'm supposed to think my parents are scum. 280 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:24,880 Are you sure? 281 00:18:25,460 --> 00:18:28,580 Yeah, everybody knows that. It's on TV all the time. 282 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,280 I believe you. 283 00:18:40,879 --> 00:18:43,220 No, I've got my anger to keep me warm. 284 00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:46,060 Could you share some with me? 285 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,540 Jason, I have something to tell you. 286 00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,180 Now, I didn't want to tell you, but since you're feeling betrayed by Mike, I 287 00:18:56,180 --> 00:18:57,340 figure you need some good news. 288 00:18:57,820 --> 00:19:00,480 Hmm? You're not really Mike's father. 289 00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:03,900 Well, 290 00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:06,020 you know what I've been thinking? 291 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,900 That when Mike looked you in the eye and lied, it made you question your whole 292 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:12,800 approach to teaching our kids the value of truth and honesty. 293 00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:16,980 And you're wondering if instead of encouraging them by example, a little 294 00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:18,620 punishment might have been even more effective. 295 00:19:19,140 --> 00:19:22,120 And you're probably remembering the time when Mike was eight and he lied about 296 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,920 finger -painting the new rug and I wanted to spank him, but you convinced 297 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,020 that reasoning with him was better. 298 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:27,980 How do you do that? 299 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:33,360 Oh, it's not all that amazing. I bet you know what I'm thinking right now. 300 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,220 Well, you're probably thinking that no matter how disappointed we both are in 301 00:19:37,220 --> 00:19:38,580 Mike, that we love him dearly. 302 00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,100 And that we'll do our best to mold him into an honest man. 303 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,400 And that even if we fail, he can always have a productive life in politics. 304 00:19:51,020 --> 00:19:55,200 Mike, Mr. DeWitt will go a lot easier on you if you just admit what you did. 305 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,320 I don't care. 306 00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:58,640 Well, we do. 307 00:19:59,060 --> 00:20:01,000 Couldn't you at least pretend that you care what we think? 308 00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:04,450 Sure, but nobody will believe me. Well, why should anyone? 309 00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:05,890 Because I didn't. 310 00:20:07,210 --> 00:20:08,410 Forget it. It doesn't matter. 311 00:20:09,610 --> 00:20:12,530 Well, should we have believed you back in the seventh grade when you tried to 312 00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:15,210 tell us that the D on your report card stood for darn good? 313 00:20:16,470 --> 00:20:19,370 And what about in the eighth grade when you told the school your name was 314 00:20:19,370 --> 00:20:21,750 Sieverman so you could take the Jewish holidays off? 315 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:25,970 Not just this week. Okay, okay. 316 00:20:27,110 --> 00:20:30,450 Sometimes I lie. 317 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:35,200 But there's a big difference between being a liar and being a liar. 318 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,440 I mean, you guys should know when I'm telling the truth. 319 00:20:39,220 --> 00:20:40,940 What kind of parents are you anyway? 320 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,520 Disappointed. 321 00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:47,800 You want to know the truth? 322 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:50,700 Okay, I'll tell you the truth. 323 00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:55,620 Yeah, I was going to cheat. I figured it was the only way. 324 00:20:56,460 --> 00:21:00,400 So I was up half the night copying all that stuff onto my shoes. Because I had 325 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:01,400 to pass the test. 326 00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:04,500 But somehow it didn't just go on my shoes. 327 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,220 It got in my head, too. 328 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,380 Sure blew me away. 329 00:21:10,260 --> 00:21:14,680 But when it came time to look for the answers, I didn't have to. 330 00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:16,540 I knew him. 331 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,460 Well, I'd like to believe you, Mike. 332 00:21:20,700 --> 00:21:21,700 Yeah. 333 00:21:22,060 --> 00:21:25,020 Well, you have to admit, you're not exactly the kind of guy who has a 334 00:21:25,020 --> 00:21:28,660 for knowing things, like Abraham Lincoln was the 17th president. 335 00:21:30,220 --> 00:21:34,940 Yeah, he was the 16th president, Dad. Yeah, Grant was 17th. No, Grant was the 336 00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:39,780 18th. See, Johnson was 17th. He became president after Lincoln was assassinated 337 00:21:39,780 --> 00:21:42,020 on April 14th, 1865. 338 00:21:47,460 --> 00:21:49,960 Dr. and Mr. Seaver, I'm Willis DeWitt. 339 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:53,200 Glad you could come. Why don't we get right down to business? 340 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,160 Absolutely. 341 00:21:55,740 --> 00:21:59,540 Mike did not cheat on this examination, Mr. DeWitt, and it's important that we 342 00:21:59,540 --> 00:22:00,379 clear that up. 343 00:22:00,380 --> 00:22:03,420 And it would have been so easy for him to do, what with all the answers written 344 00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:04,620 on the bottom of his shoes. 345 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,580 I want to thank you, Mr. DeWitt, for letting Mike take this make -up test. 346 00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:14,920 No problem. 347 00:22:15,140 --> 00:22:18,640 I think he's learned now that intending to cheat was just as bad as cheating 348 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,640 itself. 349 00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:22,030 That's what my ex -wife said in court. 350 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:25,910 Shh. I'm trying to take a test. 351 00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:42,290 What's on tonight? 352 00:22:43,350 --> 00:22:46,650 Oh, it's the second night of that Joan Collins miniseries. That might be 353 00:22:46,650 --> 00:22:47,650 interesting. Mm -hmm. 354 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,660 Tonight, Joan leaves the Pope to marry a bricklayer. 355 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,040 Mike will be sorry he's missing that one. 356 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,660 Where is Mike, anyway? I haven't seen him all evening. Well, he's upstairs 357 00:22:57,660 --> 00:22:59,500 studying for his French test tomorrow. 358 00:22:59,940 --> 00:23:02,980 You know, I really think we got through to him this time. 25830

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