All language subtitles for George Lopez s06e05 Sabes Gay Its Georges Fantas

Hey, Ovi, I'll take a beer. Hey, you
okay?

I've been better.

Man, I can't believe the boss
embarrassed you like that in front of

I don't want to talk about it.

Hey, say no more.

Oh, it's almost showtime.

Can I have a beer, please?

Hey, Veronica.

All right, I'm going to stop you right
there.

This is the last time I'm going to tell
you, Ernie. I am not going out with you.

I'm not attracted to you. Get out. Over
me.

Charlie, I'm not here for you.

I'm here to meet a blind date.

Conceited.

George, that's why I'm wearing my lucky
jacket from high school.

But I live rhythm nation. What's with
the shoulder pads?

Did Janet Jackson have a garage session?

No,

I'm wearing... this jacket because it
makes my shoulders look good. See, we

on the internet and I might have
exaggerated my build.

Those internet things never work out if
you lie.

That's why I always try to undersell
myself.

How?

Hey, George, keep an eye out for a
bombshell. She's carrying a flower just

me.

stole your bombshell flower and gave it
to that big chick.

I think she looks nice.

That's the right attitude.

She's in your league. This is your shot,
Ernie.

Step up to the plate. Before she licks
it clean.

Mom! Hi, Helen.

It's me, Ernie.

Oh, I'm not Helen.

Well, I'm sure you are.

I'm touching roses.

No.

I'm holding this for Helen.

She's in the bathroom.

I'll get her for you. No, look.

I know I'm not exactly what you
expected.

But I meant everything I said in those
emails.

I'm looking for a soul mate.

My heart's an open book and you can read
it if you like.

That is so sweet.

Helen's going to love to hear that when
she comes out of the bathroom.

Look, there she is.

Hey!

I don't believe this.

If you really want to catch her, you
probably still can.

George, what am I doing wrong?

Well, for starters, you've got to stop
with your soulmate, Crack.

Sometimes a gal just wants a man to be a
man.

She wants a pair of big strong arms to
wrap around her and sweep her off her

feet.

Okay, what the hell? Let's go back to my
place, Gina.

Oh, oh, no, God, no.

No, I wasn't talking about me.

Why not?

Dude, the cobra doesn't want to bite
you. Walk away.

No, Gina, I want to know.

Why are you turning me down?

You're not my type.

I'm a man and I have a pulse.

Well, I guess that means that I have
standards.

I'm as surprised as you are.

Ernie, I don't want to talk about it.

Let's go, Lobey, and keep it coming.

Angie.

Date night.

I didn't forget that was tonight.

I treasure our us time.

Look, I had a horrible day. I'm still
stuck at work with Ernie.

Why can't I find a woman to love me?

Ernie, stop yelling that into the
ladies' room. That's sexual harassment.

I'll see you soon, baby.

I have to go. You gonna be okay here by
yourself?

Why not?

I'm used to being by myself.

I might as well face the fact going to
be by myself for the rest of my life.

going to die in my apartment alone.

Okay, dude, take it easy.

I'm so sorry I had to work through date
night.

I can't believe I missed my chance to go
out with someone who looks as amazing

as you do.

You think it's okay to just leave me
here so you can go out drinking with the

guys? And we're off.

Look, I told you I had to work. I called
the factory first. They said you went

to Thirsty's.

Maybe I told them to tell you that
because I was out buying you a gift for

date night.

Yeah?

Where is it? It's on back order. It'll
be here in a week.

How could you forget about our date
night?

Because I had a horrible day at work.

Jack humiliated me in front of all the
other workers. Angie, I just wanted to

get a beer and forget about it, okay?

What did he do?

I don't want to talk about it. Why not?

Because I don't.

When I have a bad day, I can't wait to
come home and share everything with you.

I know. That's why. You know what you
need? You need a girlfriend.

But you're that nice lady from the
church that you were hanging out with.

She had a nervous breakdown. She's in a
mental hospital.

Really? I'm sure it had nothing to do
with you.

George, we need date night so we can
communicate with each other. If you

talk about your problems, how can you
really deal with them? You can't just

stuff inside.

Yes, I can.

Because that's the Lopez way.

We buried things so deep inside you
don't know where they went.

So one day your wife gets you a massage
for your birthday, the lady squeezes

your foot and you just start crying.

You said she hit a bone spur and it
really hurt you.

You lived for two weeks. Did you fake
that?

I don't know. What do you think?

I don't believe you did that.

Angie, because if I tell you, you just
won't let it go. I'm just trying to help

you. Look, I don't need help, okay? I
don't want to have to open up if I don't

want to.

Where are you going? I'm going to
thirsty.

Oh, no, you're not.

This isn't about what happened at work
anymore. This is about our relationship

and whether we have the intimacy to
share our feelings or whether you take a

step backward in our marriage and go
have a beer.

My vows were to love, honor, and cherish
you. I don't have to tell you nothing.

Don't you walk out that door. You are
going to stay, and we're going to talk.

Why? So you can break my mind like that
nice church lady you destroyed? I don't

think so.

Pay some of that for me. Hey, what's the
matter?

Angie and I had a fight.

Why do women have to talk everything to
death?

Well, I decided I'm giving up on women.

You know, sometimes I think my life
would be easier if I was gay.

Yeah.

No talking, no cuddling, just do your
business and turn on SportsCenter.

You think that's how gay guys do it?

That's how I do it, man.

Dude, you just drank the worm.

The last time you did that, you
hallucinated.

I don't care.

Maybe I want to hallucinate.

Go to the realms of my mind.

Where I'm not married to a woman who's
got to talk about everything.

Anything happen?

No.

Well, just let me know if you start
feeling weird.

Okay.

You weren't that when I came in here.

George.

George.

George.

George. George. George.

Wake up.

You're missing a great game. That seed's
about to score.

Sorry, man. I must have dozed off.

Hey, dude. Hand me the TV guide. I want
to see who's playing the next game.

What did you do that for? They didn't
score.

I know.

Here, guys.

Try these.

They're pretty good.

Yeah, these are fabulous.

Finally.

You two are the toughest customers I've
ever had.

Well, we just want everything to be
perfect for our special day. I mean...

We're only getting married once, right,
Bumpy?

Hey, man, stop it.

Oh, somebody called Snow White because
Grumpy's on my couch.

What's going on, man? What are you
talking about, getting married?

He's always a little loopy when he gets
up from a nap.

If you back out of our wedding now, I'm
going to keep the engagement ring you

got me.

Engagement ring?

Don't be modest. It's beautiful.

I am so glad you love it. I helped
George pick it out.

It looked good on my finger, too.

Why can't I get a man?

So this is real?

This is my life?

And we're getting married?

Yeah.

And when we're married, it's going to be
great.

Because it's going to be like this every
day.

Sounds good?

Football, beer, and best buds.

I guess I could get used to that.

George, I'm glad you're here. I have to
measure you for your tax.

Oh, I know it's inseam.

But maybe I better double -check it.

Not now, man. I'm not in the mood.

Well, mark the day.

Can't always be in the mood.

I'll tell you what.

We'll double up tomorrow night.

Let's get you measured.

Can we do it later? I had a bad day at
work.

What happened?

I don't want to talk about it. Well,
let's just watch a game then.

Usually I feel better if I talk things
out.

Talking doesn't make us feel better,
okay?

Watching sports does.

That's the Cardenas -Lopez way.

Lopez -Cardenas?

Let's go, baby.

What happened at work is still bothering
me.

Forget about it.

That's why we watch the game.

I can't believe Jack humiliated me in
front of all the workers like that.

Oh, look at that trainer rubbing Tom
Brady's thigh.

I should have never dropped out of
massage school.

Did you hear a word I said? Hush, I want
to see this.

Don't hush me. If I want to talk, I'll
talk.

At least save it until halftime.

Yeah, right.

Like you'll be able to listen when you
see Troy Aikman drawing X's and O's on

the screen.

You know, those aren't hugs and kisses
for you.

Well, there's a TV in the bedroom. Maybe
I should go up there and watch a game.

Maybe you should.

Because nothing else is happening in
that bedroom tonight.

You want to do that measurement now?

Yeah, let's just get it over with.

Okay.

So, what actually happened at work?

You don't want to hear.

Sure I do.

I ordered too many parts because of my
dyslexia.

Well, that sounds like an honest
mistake.

Well, the boss made me redo the numbers
in front of all the workers, and I felt

like an idiot all over again.

What do you mean, all over again? Did
someone else make you feel like an

Well, in third grade, Mrs.

Halstead did, but they were totally
different.

What did she do?

I got a problem wrong in math class, and
she made me get up and redo the numbers

in front of all the other workers.

I mean classmates.

Oh, my God, breakthrough.

I bet what happened... happened at work
affected you so much because it made you

relive a childhood drama.

You know what? You're right.

You just had to talk it through with
someone.

Yeah, well, Ernie never would have taken
the time to help me realize that.

All he ever talks about are sports,
house music, and how he wants a free

he ever runs into Travolta at the yogurt
stand.

For some reason, Ernie can't be there
for you. You can always talk to me.

Thanks.

What's Ernie doing?

He's okay. Don't worry about it. I'm so
glad he decided to let me come to the

wedding. That kiss was just a stupid
mistake on my part.

I mean, can you imagine us actually
hooking up?

Soft skin, long hair, and all those
curves.

No thank you.

You're the priest?

You look exactly like Angie's dad, Vic.

And I sound like him, too.

You think?

Then don't eat the worm, Chico.

Our grooms have written their own vows
and they'd like to share them with

everyone.

Ernie, when you said you wanted us to
write our own vows, I'll be honest.

I wasn't looking forward to it.

It's hard for me to look inside and
share what I'm feeling.

But you helped me do that.

And as painful as it is, it makes me a
better person.

And I want to thank you for that.

Why are you looking at her?

You're marrying me.

No, I'm not. I just realized I can't
marry you.

I want to marry somebody I can talk to.
Wait a minute.

I'm not even gay, man. I love Angie.

How can you say that?

Because he's coming out of his
hallucination.

What hallucination?

Oh, you think a dancing worm is normal?

Look at me.

I'm at Thirsty's?

What happened?

I had this weird hallucination, but it
helped me realize something.

What?

Talking to your wife is not a waste of
time.

I don't understand.

Exactly, man. That's why I'll never
marry you.

leave you walked out on me like that. We
need to finish talking.

I know.

Because if I don't talk to you about
what's going on in my life, I'll never

able to deal with it.

Don't you say what you think I want to
hear.

No, I believe it now.

Angie, let's go home and I'll tell you
all about what happened at work.

Are you serious?

Absolutely.

Oh, you smell so good.

And bra straps, which mean hello.

You know, I feel kind of bad because I
was eavesdropping, but it was nice of

to take care of your friend like that.

Yeah, well, that's what guys do.

Good guys.

You know, I get off work in 20 minutes.

Seeing anyone?

No.

I've been killing myself trying to find
the right woman to start a relationship

with, but I'm just giving up.

I should just go for a cheap one
-nighter.

You know, you'd be surprised.

Sometimes that's all a woman wants, too.

Yeah?

Well, I'm never going to find one of
those.