All language subtitles for George Lopez s04e11 Prescription For Trouble

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:04,680 Honey, I'm glad you're here. I have an appointment and Carmen needs help 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:06,520 preparing for her first meet with the debate team. 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:09,360 What? She made the debate team? Uh -huh. 4 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:11,220 Did they need a crier? 5 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:18,000 Testing makeup on animals should be outlawed. 6 00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,600 Because bunnies are cute. 7 00:00:23,860 --> 00:00:25,520 And it burns their eyes. 8 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,740 And then they're blind and they hop into traffic. 9 00:00:31,340 --> 00:00:33,880 See, my mascara's running. They died for nothing. 10 00:00:35,460 --> 00:00:38,960 Well, what do you think of my debate outfit? 11 00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:44,020 Carmen, are you dressing like that because your ex -boyfriend's on the 12 00:00:44,020 --> 00:00:45,680 team? Yep. 13 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,360 No one cheats on me without paying the price. 14 00:00:48,980 --> 00:00:52,780 I'm going to distract Jason with my body and destroy him with my mind. 15 00:00:55,620 --> 00:00:59,540 Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. 16 00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:03,080 I'm distracted with my body. 17 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,660 I'm destroyed with my body. 18 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:13,480 I remember a time when I distracted one guy while I destroyed the other. 19 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,620 I remember that day. 20 00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,960 You forgot to put a sock on the front door and I walked in on you. 21 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:29,000 That was not a good Mother's Day for me. 22 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:42,160 Okay, Dad, you're arguing for SUVs, and I'm making a case for hybrid cars. Okay, 23 00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:43,240 good luck. 24 00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:45,380 Resolved. 25 00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:49,700 SUVs guzzle gas and destroy the environment and keep us at the mercy of 26 00:01:49,700 --> 00:01:50,700 -rich foreign government. 27 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:58,120 Maybe. But my SUV's got a leather interior, a six -CD changer, and hybrids 28 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,500 bounce off me like bullets off Superman. What's that? 29 00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:03,900 Resolved. 30 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,759 The floor recognizes Madam Hoochie. 31 00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:16,900 While hybrids may be small, they are economical, and you can get a tax break 32 00:02:16,900 --> 00:02:17,900 from the government. 33 00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:22,500 And when presented in the driveway with a big giant bow on top, it makes a 34 00:02:22,500 --> 00:02:24,340 memorable gift for your daughter's 16th birthday. 35 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:26,780 Madam Bat, may I rebut that? 36 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:32,480 The floor recognizes the gentleman with the monster truck -sized head. 37 00:02:37,049 --> 00:02:38,049 That's not fair! 38 00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:17,100 If you're so smart, Jason, tell us what happens when those resources are gone. 39 00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:21,440 Uh... Hey, who's out of gas now at Rich Point? 40 00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:28,120 Carmen, you have to concede that fossil fuel is cheaper than any other power 41 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,120 source. 42 00:03:29,260 --> 00:03:32,120 Cheap? You want to talk about cheap? 43 00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:37,780 How many times has America's trust been violated by someone 44 00:03:37,780 --> 00:03:44,170 just going out and drilling some crude oil that a bunch of guys... already 45 00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:50,090 tapped i will admit that sometimes we go 46 00:03:50,090 --> 00:03:56,670 abroad to solve our energy needs and 47 00:03:56,670 --> 00:04:03,590 the whole time right here at home we had such a precious untapped resource 48 00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:06,550 that we'd do anything to get back 49 00:04:07,850 --> 00:04:10,990 No one's tapping my country's resource until she gets married, I tell you that. 50 00:04:13,010 --> 00:04:15,050 Look, I love my country. 51 00:04:16,329 --> 00:04:19,930 And I want her to know I'm really, really sorry. 52 00:04:24,250 --> 00:04:25,770 I withdraw my argument. 53 00:04:26,210 --> 00:04:27,250 No, I withdraw mine. 54 00:04:28,970 --> 00:04:29,970 Oh! 55 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,950 What do you mean, oh? He cheated on her. What kind of mom are you? 56 00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:36,370 He's a kid. 57 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,040 Kids make mistakes. 58 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:41,660 So you would have forgiven me that easily if I had cheated on you in high 59 00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:42,660 school? 60 00:04:44,220 --> 00:04:48,660 Oh, honey, I know how many opportunities you had. 61 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,460 Thank you for being so loyal. 62 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:54,660 We'll find someone tonight. 63 00:04:57,020 --> 00:04:58,420 Of course you could. 64 00:05:00,180 --> 00:05:03,360 We'll go to the clubs. I thought me and you would be like Starsky and Hutch, eh? 65 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,180 You'll be my bait. I'll throw you out there like chum, and then I'll follow 66 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:07,180 behind. 67 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:09,360 All 68 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:16,100 my 69 00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,840 friends know that I'm right. 70 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:32,760 I could cheat on you with the lady from the post office. 71 00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:37,100 Uh -huh. 72 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,380 Or the big lady at the dry cleaner. She's always thanking me for being a 73 00:05:40,380 --> 00:05:41,380 eater. 74 00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:43,660 Uh -huh. 75 00:05:45,060 --> 00:05:46,120 The girl at the bank. 76 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,320 Even when she's helping another customer, Angie, she can't help but 77 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:50,320 out. 78 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,120 She has a lazy eye, George. 79 00:05:57,560 --> 00:06:00,320 Mom, Dad. Oh, Carmen, you got some more flowers from Jason. 80 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,220 Oh, yeah, it's our two -week anniversary. 81 00:06:02,860 --> 00:06:04,000 He got you flowers for that? 82 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,340 Uh -huh, because I told him to. 83 00:06:05,940 --> 00:06:08,960 This time, I'm calling the shot. He's going to have to jump through hoops 84 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:09,960 I can trust him again. 85 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,920 But when he broke your heart, Carmen, he broke all our hearts. I think I'm going 86 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,480 to stay emotionally unavailable until he gets me a putter. George. 87 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,400 And some cream for your mom's alligator elbows. 88 00:06:21,740 --> 00:06:24,580 Mom, Dad, can you sit down? There's something I want to talk about. 89 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,480 Okay, Carmen, we talked about this, okay? You're not getting a car. 90 00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:32,570 Oh, no, it's not that, but... I am turning 16 on Saturday, and I do feel 91 00:06:32,570 --> 00:06:33,970 enough to... No tattoos either. 92 00:06:34,930 --> 00:06:36,250 I want birth control pills. 93 00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:44,130 What about a little butterfly on your ankle that says... That says virgin with 94 00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:45,290 the wings closed, let them. 95 00:06:47,350 --> 00:06:48,650 Dad, I'm serious. 96 00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:52,470 Carmen, we're not getting you birth control pills. You're too young to have 97 00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:56,410 Has Jason been pressuring you? No, no, this is my idea. I want to take 98 00:06:56,410 --> 00:06:59,170 responsibility for my body. And when the time comes... 99 00:06:59,790 --> 00:07:02,450 important, but they're not going to be enough. It's only 98 % effective against 100 00:07:02,450 --> 00:07:03,450 pregnancy. 101 00:07:03,850 --> 00:07:06,010 I want to be sure that I'm absolutely safe. 102 00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:09,390 What do you mean, when the day comes? 103 00:07:11,290 --> 00:07:13,670 Well, let's talk about that together. 104 00:07:14,950 --> 00:07:17,690 How does March work for you? 105 00:07:21,270 --> 00:07:24,070 I'm not going to pick the day my daughter loses her virginity. 106 00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:27,610 And I'm sure as hell not going to... 107 00:07:38,260 --> 00:07:41,740 approach what are the criteria i have to meet in order to have sex you have to 108 00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:48,680 be married or have a letter from the pope don't 109 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:52,980 be such a hypocrite dad what were you married when you lost your virginity 110 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:57,560 mother was the first woman i was with and i married her so you've only had sex 111 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:03,620 with one woman don't say it like that that's the way it's supposed to be i'm 112 00:08:03,620 --> 00:08:04,720 many women for your father 113 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:08,320 That's why you have the wigs. 114 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:17,100 Nice going, Angie. Cheer louder next time. The point is, your father and I 115 00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:18,960 waited till we were of legal age. 116 00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:20,380 All right, then. Let's compromise. 117 00:08:20,820 --> 00:08:23,480 I won't have sex, but I'll still get the birth control pills. For what? 118 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:24,720 Well, they're good for your skin. 119 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,860 Your skin's fine. They think they might be good for your heart. You're 16. You 120 00:08:27,860 --> 00:08:28,860 don't have to worry about your heart. 121 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,680 They help regulate your period. 122 00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:34,919 Don't be so quick to give up the beauty of an unexpected period. 123 00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:42,130 How about a nice cashmere sweater for your birthday? What color do you want? 124 00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:45,710 You know, whatever color matches the cashmere shackles I wear in this house. 125 00:08:46,790 --> 00:08:48,490 I know why the cage bird sings. 126 00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:53,930 Well, you're dreaming if you think we're getting you a sweater and a bird. 127 00:08:56,350 --> 00:08:57,550 You know who's behind this? 128 00:08:57,750 --> 00:08:58,750 Jason. I hate him. 129 00:09:00,810 --> 00:09:05,290 He left Carmen for that girl who had the reputation for doing everything. He's 130 00:09:05,290 --> 00:09:06,470 got experience now. 131 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,670 Well, I think it's time Jason and I had a little talk. 132 00:09:09,910 --> 00:09:13,990 Well, you better scare some sense into him, because I know at that age, when an 133 00:09:13,990 --> 00:09:17,610 attractive guy pressures a girl to have sex, it's really hard to say no. 134 00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,690 Sorry I pressured you, baby. 135 00:09:28,530 --> 00:09:29,530 What? 136 00:09:30,330 --> 00:09:32,710 In high school, you know, I might have come out a little too strong. 137 00:09:32,970 --> 00:09:34,030 Oh, yeah. 138 00:09:38,890 --> 00:09:39,890 Oh, that was tough. 139 00:09:55,490 --> 00:09:58,850 Come here. 140 00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:03,750 What's up, Mr. Lopez? 141 00:10:04,490 --> 00:10:05,490 You know, we... 142 00:10:09,740 --> 00:10:10,740 talk in a while. 143 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,580 Oh, I miss our talk. 144 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,980 So, still a virgin? 145 00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:21,400 Uh, pretty much. 146 00:10:22,780 --> 00:10:26,140 Come on, man. You left Carmen, you went over with that Cindy Leshen girl. Look, 147 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:28,140 I don't care, dude. I'm not her dad. 148 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,600 Tell me about it, stud. Watch out. 149 00:10:36,620 --> 00:10:41,090 Look, Mr. Lopez, I'm new at this, but I... pretty sure that's not cool. 150 00:10:42,970 --> 00:10:44,270 Are you a virgin or aren't you? 151 00:10:45,070 --> 00:10:46,210 Carmen and I haven't done anything. 152 00:10:47,710 --> 00:10:48,970 Oh, but you want to. 153 00:10:49,930 --> 00:10:50,930 No. 154 00:10:50,990 --> 00:10:52,430 Why not? She's a beautiful girl. 155 00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:55,530 Okay, yes. 156 00:10:55,570 --> 00:10:56,570 How dare you? 157 00:10:57,270 --> 00:10:58,270 No! 158 00:10:58,530 --> 00:11:00,090 Yes! I don't know. 159 00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:01,450 What do you want me to say? 160 00:11:02,710 --> 00:11:05,390 I want you to admit it, man. You're pushing my daughter to have sex. 161 00:11:05,850 --> 00:11:06,930 I haven't even brought it up. 162 00:11:07,130 --> 00:11:08,130 Don't lie to me. 163 00:11:08,140 --> 00:11:09,140 I'm not, I swear. 164 00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,840 Then why did she ask us for birth control pills? 165 00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,220 Really? She asked for birth control? 166 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,140 No way. 167 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,460 No way should you allow her to have those. 168 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,140 So this wasn't your idea? 169 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:29,260 Look, Mr. Lopez, I'm walking on eggshells with Carmen as it is. 170 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:33,400 All right? I would never do anything to pressure her. I'm just glad she took me 171 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,400 back. 172 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,290 So was her idea. 173 00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:41,550 All this time I've been worrying about boys pressuring her. 174 00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:47,230 I even told her all the tricks guys would use to get her into bed. Oh, my 175 00:11:47,230 --> 00:11:48,230 gave her a playbook. 176 00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:54,770 No matter what she says, nobody just likes to lie there naked and hug. 177 00:12:02,190 --> 00:12:03,190 Hey. 178 00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:06,350 I just got paid for the Harris wedding. 179 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:09,450 and I'm in the mood to celebrate. 180 00:12:10,750 --> 00:12:15,550 I know it's not the same as cash, but what do you say we get naked and roll 181 00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:16,550 around on the check? 182 00:12:17,610 --> 00:12:22,290 Not now. Come on. 183 00:12:23,190 --> 00:12:26,230 Oh? Is somebody playing hard to get? 184 00:12:28,130 --> 00:12:33,890 Well, I am not afraid to drag you upstairs and have my way with you, 185 00:12:35,079 --> 00:12:38,260 This is why our daughter's a sexual predator. She gets it from you. 186 00:12:39,780 --> 00:12:40,780 What? 187 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:42,940 I talked to Jason. 188 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:44,840 Carmen's the one who wants to have sex. 189 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:48,080 She's pressuring him? 190 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,620 That's what I said. You're so full of lust, you can't even hear right. 191 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:57,760 I don't feel good. My stomach hurts. 192 00:12:58,260 --> 00:12:59,460 What did you eat, honey? 193 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:04,020 Well, I was in Carmen's room and I found some mints, but they didn't taste 194 00:13:04,020 --> 00:13:05,280 right. Carmen! 195 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:07,779 What's up? 196 00:13:07,780 --> 00:13:10,040 Oh, your brother ate some of your mints and he doesn't feel good. 197 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,419 What mints? 198 00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:14,200 The ones in the little tin that's in your winter jacket under your bed. 199 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:15,900 Oh, my God. 200 00:13:17,900 --> 00:13:18,900 Oh. 201 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,240 Those mints are probably just stale. 202 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,840 So how many did you take? 203 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,980 I ate five, Monday through Friday. 204 00:13:37,230 --> 00:13:38,230 a month's worth on this wheel. 205 00:13:39,510 --> 00:13:40,510 You're on the pill! 206 00:13:40,690 --> 00:13:42,750 Well, so is Max. 207 00:13:45,750 --> 00:13:46,950 Angie, call poison control. 208 00:13:47,670 --> 00:13:49,530 Look, I'm sure everything's gonna be fine. 209 00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,150 What's going on? 210 00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:53,750 Uh, those weren't mint, honey. 211 00:13:54,030 --> 00:13:55,150 They were birth control pills. 212 00:13:55,950 --> 00:13:56,950 Oh, no. 213 00:13:57,030 --> 00:13:58,030 What's gonna happen? 214 00:13:58,170 --> 00:13:59,290 Your sister's gonna get killed. 215 00:14:00,910 --> 00:14:03,930 And if you're anything like your mom, you may experience some tenderness 216 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:04,930 your breasts. 217 00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:18,640 Poison control says you're going to be fine. 218 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:20,560 Are you having sex? 219 00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:23,980 No. Then why did you go behind our backs to get these pills? 220 00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:26,660 Carmen, we talked about this. 221 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:31,060 No, we didn't talk about anything. Dad told me what to do like I was some 222 00:14:31,060 --> 00:14:33,780 kid. I didn't have any say in it. You want to have a say? 223 00:14:34,060 --> 00:14:35,060 Say goodbye to these. 224 00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:37,040 Where did you get the pills? 225 00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,220 We went down to the free clinic. Unlike some people, they treat me like an 226 00:14:41,220 --> 00:14:42,220 adult. 227 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:43,720 We? 228 00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:45,420 Who went with you? 229 00:14:45,610 --> 00:14:48,270 Was it Jacob? No, you know, it doesn't matter who it was because you're never 230 00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:50,050 going to find out, so just let it go. 231 00:14:51,290 --> 00:14:52,290 Max, 232 00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:54,530 I'll give you five dollars, homeboy. You know anything. 233 00:14:57,170 --> 00:14:58,170 I heard them talking. 234 00:14:58,610 --> 00:14:59,610 Grandma Benny took her. 235 00:14:59,890 --> 00:15:01,750 You're not getting a dime. Nobody likes a tattletale. 236 00:15:06,970 --> 00:15:09,250 Just came in to get some snacks for the poker game. 237 00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:14,110 We've already started, George. 238 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,700 You took my 16 -year -old daughter to get birth control? 239 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:28,680 You don't have to thank me. 240 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:33,460 Just give me 10 bucks for gas and we'll be even. 241 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:48,420 We have to talk. All right, before you say anything, I want to own up and take 242 00:15:48,420 --> 00:15:51,500 full responsibility for driving her there. 243 00:15:52,970 --> 00:15:56,250 was the one who told her about the free clinic and told her she didn't need her 244 00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:57,990 parents' permission to get birth control there. 245 00:15:58,530 --> 00:16:00,570 I've said it. Let the chips fall where they may. 246 00:16:01,110 --> 00:16:03,250 To recap, it's Vic's fault. 247 00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:07,270 Daddy, is that true? 248 00:16:08,590 --> 00:16:13,650 Look, this wasn't easy for me, and I told Carmen that I did not condone her 249 00:16:13,650 --> 00:16:17,750 behavior. But she said she was intent on doing this, and I told her about the 250 00:16:17,750 --> 00:16:18,750 free clinic. 251 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,950 I did what any other doctor would do. 252 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:26,340 Of course, it's just information. It means nothing unless somebody drives her 253 00:16:26,340 --> 00:16:27,340 there. 254 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:30,560 Your grandparents. 255 00:16:31,300 --> 00:16:34,240 You're supposed to tell them what it was like when bread was a nickel, not pimp 256 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,240 them out. 257 00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:37,260 Well, I stand by my decision. 258 00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:39,060 Yeah? 259 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,280 Did you give Angie the pill when she was 16? 260 00:16:41,660 --> 00:16:42,660 Absolutely not. 261 00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:44,460 I gave it to her sister, Gloria. 262 00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:53,010 Because when I said that sex was a sacred bond that should only occur 263 00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:55,490 married man and his wife, you believed me. 264 00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:56,710 She didn't. 265 00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:00,910 Come on, let's get real here. 266 00:17:01,310 --> 00:17:04,450 I got knocked up when I was 16. Do you want that to happen to Carmen? 267 00:17:04,910 --> 00:17:07,890 Well, I just want everyone to know that I have not had sex yet. 268 00:17:08,170 --> 00:17:10,329 And when that day comes, you will all get an email. 269 00:17:12,550 --> 00:17:13,550 Okay. 270 00:17:13,869 --> 00:17:14,869 Here's the deal. 271 00:17:15,329 --> 00:17:16,630 They are our children. 272 00:17:17,130 --> 00:17:18,310 We will raise them. 273 00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:19,700 Our way. 274 00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:23,380 That's right. So stay out of it. You won't be allowed back in this house. 275 00:17:23,380 --> 00:17:24,259 game's over. 276 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:26,200 I have four aces. 277 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:27,420 Hold. Hold. 278 00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:36,100 Okay. She's turning 16 Friday. She's already started taking birth control 279 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,960 We gotta do something fast. 280 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:43,080 I'm not talking to you. Fine. 281 00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:44,900 Don't talk to me. 282 00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:48,200 But this is something I know about and you don't. You've helped. 283 00:17:48,430 --> 00:17:49,430 Enough, Benny. 284 00:17:49,910 --> 00:17:53,250 Look, I don't want to say this in front of Carmen, but you can't stop her. 285 00:17:53,690 --> 00:17:57,570 My dad said he would kill me, and I believed him, and I still went out and 286 00:17:57,570 --> 00:17:58,570 it. 287 00:17:59,570 --> 00:18:00,790 Yeah, well, Carmen's not you. 288 00:18:01,010 --> 00:18:03,650 She's not willing to do anything for a cheeseburger and a ride home. 289 00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:12,890 It was raining, and it was chicken nugget. 290 00:18:15,370 --> 00:18:16,910 This is how rumors start. 291 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,920 We're going to find a way to stop Carmen. Oh, no. 292 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,340 This is going to happen one of two ways. 293 00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:25,380 Planned and protected or hot and spontaneous. 294 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,800 Mom! Hey, both have their advantages. 295 00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:33,240 One way, you don't get pregnant. The other way... Wow. 296 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,360 Does your mom always have to be so blunt? 297 00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:49,810 I didn't want to say this in front of Carmen, but this is going to happen one 298 00:18:49,810 --> 00:18:50,810 two ways. 299 00:18:51,590 --> 00:18:56,670 Smart and with protection, or in a field of tobacco under a Cuban moon with the 300 00:18:56,670 --> 00:18:58,790 gunfire of revolution in the background. 301 00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:01,230 Wow. 302 00:19:08,370 --> 00:19:11,150 I hate to say it, but they're probably right. 303 00:19:11,430 --> 00:19:13,230 Don't back down, Angie. We're stopping Carmen. 304 00:19:15,630 --> 00:19:18,990 for the emotional consequences that go along with a sexual relationship, and 305 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:22,530 clearly we are not emotionally prepared to deal with our daughter crossing the 306 00:19:22,530 --> 00:19:23,570 threshold into womanhood. 307 00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:27,430 That's it? 308 00:19:27,490 --> 00:19:31,310 What? If you could teach Carmen to bore a guy like you just bored me, nobody 309 00:19:31,310 --> 00:19:32,310 would want to be with her. 310 00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:37,610 Well, 311 00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:41,590 I'm not surprised there's nothing down here for my birthday. 312 00:19:42,170 --> 00:19:43,770 I know you guys are so mad at me. 313 00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:45,150 Mm. 314 00:19:45,290 --> 00:19:46,290 We're not mad. 315 00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,430 We talked last night. 316 00:19:47,630 --> 00:19:48,870 We realize you're 16. 317 00:19:49,410 --> 00:19:50,950 We can't stop you from growing up. 318 00:19:51,230 --> 00:19:52,230 So? 319 00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:54,170 We have a birthday surprise for you. 320 00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:58,730 No, wait, where are we going? 321 00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:00,710 To a Mexican convent. 322 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,460 You can only keep the car if you stay a virgin till you're 40. 323 00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:18,660 George. 324 00:20:19,980 --> 00:20:20,980 18. 325 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,100 You guys are bribing me? Yep. 326 00:20:23,380 --> 00:20:24,380 It's up to you. 327 00:20:24,580 --> 00:20:28,540 The car... or sex. 328 00:20:29,820 --> 00:20:31,360 Are you kidding? The car? 329 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,380 I hear it's not that great the first couple of times anyway. 330 00:20:37,260 --> 00:20:40,480 How can it be with all that? What are you thinking about now? How about now? 331 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:41,500 Now? 332 00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:48,260 We're just showing Carmen her birthday surprise. 333 00:20:48,460 --> 00:20:49,460 They got me a car! 334 00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:51,180 Oh, this is an awesome surprise. 335 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,560 Yeah, well, there's a surprise for you too, fool. Tell them. 336 00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:55,219 Oh, yeah. 337 00:20:55,220 --> 00:21:00,220 They gave me a choice. I can either have the car or sexy 518. 338 00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:01,460 Guess what I picked? 339 00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:05,380 Oh. 340 00:21:05,940 --> 00:21:08,360 Well, I already have a car, but... Yeah, that's cool. 341 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,280 Yeah. 342 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,600 Jason, why don't you take Carmen out for a nice... 343 00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:21,160 birthday dinner you know what my man no curfew you'll be home early 25495

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