All language subtitles for George Lopez s04e08 Trouble In Paradise

I can't do it.

Sure you can.

It's one more piece of pie.

Just undo the top button on your pants
like me.

We just can't pick up and move to
Colorado.

But I just got the job. I thought you
were okay with this.

Look, Angie, everybody's coming for
Thanksgiving.

It's completely overwhelming.

Let's just forget for a moment that the
kids hate it. We have to sell our house,

move our bank account, find new doctors
and dentists.

I have to call my clients and tell them
I'm out of the wedding planning

business. You don't have to give up
being a wedding planner.

I mean, I know this is supposed to be
paradise, but people probably get

here anyway.

You really think this town's big enough
to support something like that?

Hey, Winnie, is anybody in town getting
married?

Fred told me his son Connor's gonna be
tying the knot.

See? Go over and introduce yourself.
Tell them you're a big shot L .A.

planner. They don't need to know your
day is making two calls from the garage

and taking a bath. Hey!

What can I say? Us country folks are
straight shooters.

Hi, I'm Angie Lopez. I'm moving here
from Los Angeles.

I hope I'm not interrupting.

I'm Fred.

To my son, Connor.

I'm kind of a big shot wedding planner
and I understand Connor here is getting

married. What?

Well, I was going to wait till we
finished our pie.

But you knocked her up, son.

You've got to marry her.

You know, it seems like you two have
some things to talk over. So why don't I

just leave you my card?

Don't need the card.

You're hired.

I got a hundred bucks.

Let's see if we can make this happen
before her milk comes in.

Congratulations.

I heard you're going to be managing the
factory.

Yep. Well, y 'all should be celebrating.
Where are the kids?

Well, that's one of the things I might
like about living in a small town,

Winnie. I have no idea.

Now, if I could give you my two cents.

I think you're doing the right thing
moving here. It is a great place to

kids. I bet you my daughter and your boy
are putting a carrot nose on a snowman

right now.

You want to go behind the dumpster in
French?

I'm not sure.

You've done it, right?

Probably.

You know, they call me Little Bit
because I won't do everything, but I'll

little bit.

Okay. I gotta go back to the hotel first
and get that thing I French with.

You mean your tongue?

Oh, that's how you do it here? I thought
you wanted to do it L .A. style.

No thanks.

Let's go back to the inn.

I gotta walk him home or my parents will
go nuts.

We'll wait for you.

Then we can go bussing to one of those
summer cabins and party.

Unless you're scared.

Scared? I lived on the streets.

I was in a rap video having a pillow
fight on a water bed.

And I was swinging the end of the pillow
with a zipper on it.

That'll leave a red mark.

Great. So you're coming.

I didn't say that. Fight it all you
want, but there's nothing else to do in

town. You'll be back.

Hey!

Simple pleasures that make a small town
so great.

Dad, they have fire in L .A.

Only when the Lakers win the
championship.

Hey, what's up?

We know you want to move here because we
screwed up back home, but what if we

promised to do better?

Yeah, what if I worked really hard in
school and got all A's? And I'll do

in school, too, and I'll have a good
attitude and listen to your mom and be

helpful without being asked.

Those are big changes.

I mean, you've had 15 years, and you've
had 11.

It's just not in you. Let's be
realistic.

I'll try harder. What if I get straight
A's? You almost had me.

Daddy, we can't live here. I miss the
sun. I miss my friends. It's so boring

here. You should see what goes on down
at the canyon, Mark. The kids have

nothing better to do except hang around
and get into trouble.

Look, I don't want to hear your excuses.

Okay, back home, you said I never gave
you enough freedom.

So now you're in a safe enough place
where you can have all the freedom you

want. So go, Carmen, have fun.

Max, do something you've never done
before.

Fear me.

So, shoplifting or Frenching?

Let's French till we get hungry.

Get a little higher.

Hey, you guys made it!

So this is it.

I can't believe we are spending
Thanksgiving...

in a glorified truck stop.

You just got here, okay? Don't start,
Mom.

Come on. Did you see all that road kill?
Those weren't accidents.

Those animals were trying to end it all.

We hit a squirrel, and I swear I heard
it whisper, Bless you, stranger.

Look, behave yourself, okay? Because all
I have to do is push you outside, yell,

Wild boar! And wait for the shooting to
start.

Then I'll have you mounted so the kids
on the football team can rub your snout

for good luck.

Daddy, I'm so glad you're here. I came
from Cuba to Miami to Los Angeles so we

could all be together.

And now you move away to a place that is
colder than a witch's teta.

And I should know.

I slept with your mothers poking into my
back for 30 years.

You're doing what you did for us. We're
giving our kids a better life. Yeah.

So how's everything at the house?
Completely normal.

Status quo.

You feeling all right, Ernie? You look a
little carsick.

It's just that I saw a horrible,
horrible accident.

Why don't we all get a little something
to eat, huh? You guys must be starved.

We just need to get our bags. We'll be
right there.

Ernie better not open his mouth.

Even if he does, we'll just tell George
we were drunk.

The kiss meant nothing.

Of course it meant nothing. I'm still
seeing Randy.

It wasn't even a real kiss.

It was a real kiss.

Are you kidding?

It was all teeth and whispers.

It was like a dog trying to get peanut
butter off its face.

Dogs do not kiss like that.

Are you speaking for all dogs, or did
you get to know one special pooch?

So you already made up your mind to
stay?

Pretty much.

I'm going to tell you something I never
told you. You can't leave because you

owe me.

I turned down a job in Dallas so that
you wouldn't lose your best friend.

You never told me this. I didn't want to
make you feel bad.

But they were offering me some mad cash.

They were going to give me a company
card.

Oh, yeah.

And there was this girl. She thought I
was a stud. A girl?

No. I went too far, huh, with the girl?

Just stay in L .A.

Look, Ernie, we want the kids to grow up
in a safe place where people treat

their neighbors like family. Hey, Mr.
Perkins, how's that arthritis today?

It is like your family.

Raines, Mr. Perkins is usually so
friendly.

Must be my mom.

They sense the evil one has come as the
prophecy foretold.

Mrs. Murphy, is that new puppy still
chewing up the furniture?

Okay, well, something's definitely
wrong. People are avoiding us.

Angie, everything was fine yesterday.

Ed will tell us what's going on. He's a
good guy. Hey, Ed.

Hi, George.

Angie.

Hey, man, we've been kind of getting the
cold shoulder.

Any idea what's going on?

Well, look, I know you said you were
moving here because you wanted to keep

kids out of trouble, but the word is
they're the kind of kids who started.

What? We hear the boy's a gangbanger and
the girl's a hip -hop hoochie mom.

Who spread lies like that? It was your
kids, and it's all over town.

Now, look, I'm not the judging type, but
when you move here, you'll understand

why I have to say this.

Keep your damn kids away from mine.

We'll see you guys Thanksgiving.

We're going to move here and end up
being the town outcasts. Oh, Angie, we

turn it around at Thanksgiving.

Once they get to know Carmen and Max,
they'll see that the rumors aren't true.

The rumors are true.

Do I have to spell it out for you? We're
going to lie.

We'll deny the bad rumors and start good
rumors to work in our favor.

We'll use the small -town rumor system
to our advantage.

I think Mr. Perkins heard you.

Well, how can I believe Mr.

Perkins? An alcoholic cross -dresser.

It's pretty nasty, huh?

I've seen worse.

Oh, hey, Calamity Jane.

Could you have Cookie fire up the chuck
wagon? Because I'm powerful hungry.

We're just waiting on Carmen.

Where the hell is Carmen?

How's she going to make a good
impression if she's late for

She went to the Canyon Mart to buy yams,
but that was over an hour ago.

George, the food's getting cold. Where's
Carmen?

Well, knowing my little angel, she
probably stopped off at a...

Soup kitchen to help feed the homeless.

There are soup kitchens in Denver.

Do you not know where your daughter is?

You hear about Mr. Perkins?

You know, he only limps because his
tongue is cutting into him like a cheese

slicer.

Hey, this is nice. I never had
Thanksgiving in snow before.

You know, Benny was that dog in that
kiss.

You both said it was a mistake, so just
let it go.

I can't.

Other than my ex -wife, Ben is the only
woman I have kissed in 35 years.

Look, I'm not a shrink, and I haven't
been with that many women.

But don't kiss people in your own
family.

It's low class.

Sorry I'm late, Winnie. I could not talk
the wife and kids into coming.

This doesn't have anything to do with my
kids, does it, Ed?

Oh, no. My wife is 100 % chalk -taught.

Thanksgiving's not a real good day
around my house.

Okay, everybody, Ed's here. I think we
should just start.

Winnie, if it's okay, Max would like to
say the prayer.

Yeah.

Go ahead, Max.

Dear Lord, thank you for bringing us to
this town.

Thank you for bringing me good new
friends.

For, uh, tongues.

Cherry lip gloss.

Tongues.

Amen!

Now I'd like to say my own grace, as I
do before every meal and también most of

my snacks.

God, forgive us for our sins as we try
every day to

be better people.

Forgive us for judging others.

and spreading rumors about things we
know nothing about that happened in

city anyway.

Amen.

And thank you for my wonderful family,
especially my children who make me feel

blessed every day.

Sorry I'm late.

You got the sugar disease.

That was a real beer bottle.

Who's going to believe you, he -she?

Come on, Carmen, let's get you to bed.

How many times am I going to hear that
in one day?

Andy, your daughter is stinking drunk.

Not unless he pressured her. He
pressured me. You held me down.

I believe the boy.

Women cannot resist the palmetto men.

Yo, class.

George, your kids are out of control.

Moving is not a replacement for good
parenting.

Whoa, whoa, wait a second.

My kids weren't in this alone.

Somebody gave my son a hickey, and
somebody gave my 15 -year -old daughter

You can get anywhere.

All the kids drink, Dad, and nobody
cards you.

Not all the kids drink.

My oldest boy had never touched alcohol.

Pop it.

That's where the ice cream's going.

He's in a gang, too.

We do not have gangs here. We have one
group of boys who disagrees with another

group of boys about whose neighborhood
ends where.

That's a gang!

This place is no better than L .A. Hey,
please, do not compare us to La La Land.

We've only had two murders here so far
this year, not counting the drunk

and the drifter down by the rail yard.

All right, that's it. We're going home.

L .A. may have gangs, underage drinking,
teenage pregnancy, and drugs, and you

might see the cops beating up a guy on
TV, but they're both wearing sunglasses

and short -sleeved shirts because every
day it's sunny and 80 degrees.

That's why they write so many songs
about California. Nobody ever writes a

about Colorado.

Well, what about John Denver?

He died in California.

We're going home. You know what? True,
Paradise

Canyon. It's just good to be home.

Isn't it, Carmen?

Yeah. My head is killing me. Oh, I
forgot. It's my little girl's first

Watch out.

That didn't sound right, did it?

Honey, I know you have a lot of
confusing feelings about what happened.

Little Bit took you down a road you were
not ready for, and she took advantage

of you.

Max, what your mom's trying to say is
that you were very lucky, and from now

you're going to have to work for it.

I'm going to see Little Bit again.

I don't know about that.

I'm pretty sure that girl's going to be
getting off a bus here in Hollywood

before we know it.

Okay, so it doesn't matter where we
live.

We're going to have to work twice as
hard to keep the kids out of trouble.

Or we can set our expectations so low,
we're happy with whatever our kids do.

George, we can't give up on them.

Oh, come on, Angie, but it's nice.

in Giving Upsville.

Max just got a tattoo on his neck.
Carmen's dating a guy my age. They're

good.

I'm not doing it. Come on, Angie. Let go
and be happy.

You've only had one job as a wedding
planner in the checkbounds. I'm never

getting a raise, but that's okay because
every Saturday as a family, we sell

corn in the park.

We're living the dream, baby.

You're right there with the butter.

I'll let you ride the bike.

Put this by the fridge. You're right.

Are you going to help me with this or
what, dog lip?

I know how to kiss you.

Well, you're right about one thing. It's
good to be home. I love L .A.

That time I felt something.

But it meant nothing to me.

Ha!

I don't live here.