All language subtitles for George Lopez s02e20 Girls Night Out

Everybody, I have a surprise.

Andy Lopez is proud to present the San
Fernando Valley's newest treetop ranger,

Max Lopez.

All right, Max.

You're a sapling. Congratulations.

Are you happy now, Dad?

Yeah. Look, I love being a treetop
ranger, and you're going to love it,

get to be outdoors, and you learn all
kinds of things.

Your dad's right.

The treetop rangers made me the man I am
today.

What are you doing? I'm trying to
convince them.

Eat this.

I look stupid.

Maybe it's the hat. Take it off.

No, that's not it.

Hey, Marisol.

What the hell's going on with you?

I wake up and your stuff's moved out of
the house?

What are you trying to be, funny? I left
you, fool.

Now get out of here before you get me in
trouble. You're already in trouble.

Whoa, yo, Junior, hands off.

Don't mess with me, Holmes.

Holmes? You heard me, S .A.

Look, it's Casper the Friendly Chicano.

What are you, brother, besides confused?

This ain't about you. This is between me
and my lady.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, hey, hey.

This ain't the free clinic.

I just can't come in here and start
fighting with your lady.

Guys, show Slim Shady to the door.

We're going to go to Lupe's house? I'll
find you. We're going to go to Didi's

place? I'll find you. I love you. You
can't hide from me. I love you.

Young love.

Young, angry, violent love.

Takes me back.

to work, all right? There's nothing to
see.

Marisol, are you okay?

Yeah.

Do you have a safe place to stay
tonight?

I don't know.

I'll stay in my car if I have to.

You go, girl.

Don't you watch. No!

You don't even know what I'm gonna say.

Yes, I do. I know that face. You want to
help someone and it makes me sick.

We could make room.

Hey, we got her out of the gangs and
gave her a job. That's enough. I don't

her in the house.

It's not enough. If we don't help her
right now, she could get sucked right

into that life. Do you want that on your
conscience?

You're the one with the conscience.

I'm the one with the offbeat good looks
who talks his way out of tight jams.

Come on. She needs a safe place where
Junior can't find her. And when

in need, we help them. You sex -o
yourself. That's the Lopez way.

Did I say that? Mm -hmm.

All right.

But when I said that, I was just trying
to, you know... So you just say things

to get me to... No,

sometimes I buy you things.

Now, right now.

Go!

Hey, Tree Top Ranger.

How was your first meeting? Great. Hey,
honey, you hungry? I made some veggie

burgers. I got one left.

No way.

Vegetarians are left -wing nutjobs.

They undermine the beef industry and put
a lot of good...

Hard -working Americans out on their
butts.

What?

That's what my head ranger, Mr.

Dugan, says.

What are they teaching you over there?
You're supposed to be learning about

knots and wood carving.

Wood carving?

Ha!

Try to get a piece of lumber nowadays
with all these liberal tree -huggers.

Can't smoke in restaurants, but a mother
can pull out her chichis to feed a

baby.

Can I get a gun permit?

Dude, you still got cartoons on your
underwear. No.

George, I don't want him hearing these
kind of things.

Well, I'm going to have the next meeting
here at this house so we can check this

Dugan guy out. And no guns.

This family doesn't believe in guns in
the home.

Big deal.

We had a gun in the house when you were
a kid.

What are you talking about?

You remember Harriet?

Harriet? I thought she was a friend of
yours.

You mean all those times you'd say
Harriet and I are going shopping and

and I are going on a date and Harriet
and I were loaded last night?

You were talking about a gun?

Relax. Harriet's gone.

I threw her off the Hoover Dam. Case
closed.

But why did you... Case closed.

Hey, look, it's Marisol.

I'll get it.

Come on in, Marisol. I'm glad you're
here.

You're kidding with the wallpaper,
right?

Okay, first, you're lucky to be here.
George. No, Angie, I'm not going to baby

her. This is our house and there are
rules.

Number one.

Say thank you to Angie.

I don't have to say thank you. I got her
this.

Oh.

Hey, that's Ernie's mug from work.

He gave it to me because I told him I'd
meet him for drinks at 7.

It's 7 right now.

I know, huh?

Number two.

I don't want you setting a bad example
for my kids. So no cussing and no

drinking. And no looting after a bad
verdict on court TV.

Where am I sleeping?

On the couch.

No, she's not.

Okay, then why don't we just put some
newspaper down here in the kitchen?

She's staying in Carmen's room. I'm
making up the trundle bed.

I'll get the rest of the things for my
car.

I don't want her in my room.

Carmen, be nice to her. She's going
through a rough time.

Dad, I'm starting a new school next week
and I have like 50 books to read. I

don't want someone bothering me.

She's staying with you. No, it's my
room.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, it's my
room.

They're all my rooms.

Technically, you and the little boy are
just squatters.

Hey, what's going on with you? You've
been freaking out all week.

I'm worried about Allendale.

What if it's like my old school? What if
no one likes me?

Carmen, honey, you're worrying for
nothing. I promise you it's not going to

like that.

What are you staring at?

Well, it's just that your eye ends here,
but your eye makeup goes way over here.

At least I've got a reason to put makeup
on. I leave the house. All you've done

for the last three days is read.

Stupid reader.

I have to study for Allendale.

Were you ever picked on in high school?

Please, nobody screwed with me.

Either you.

I had to leave my old high school
because I was getting picked on by some

I could see that. You got that innocent
look you just want to mess with.

So, what do you do to keep people from
messing with you?

Get out of my face.

Sorry.

No, that's what I do.

Could you teach me how to be that way?

I guess I could mentor you.

If you think you can handle it.

Come with me to a club tonight.

But I'm only 14.

When I was 14, I had already been 18 for
two years.

Just a heads up, the backyard's off
limits. I'm going to have seven little

treetop rangers out there.

Oh, well, that's okay. We're going to go
see a movie anyway.

Wait a second. You two are hanging out?

I got a car and she needs a break.

Okay, listen to me. I don't want you
getting Carmen in any trouble, okay?

No sneaking into movies and no R -rated
films.

I promise you.

None of that's gonna happen.

Good.

What are you gonna go see?

Well, uh, it's a chick flick about three
generations of women that struggle

against... Got it.

All right, Sapling. Let's get tonight's
meeting started with our treetop ranger,

Jane. Oh, I think I remember this.

Uh, my roots run deep.

My branch is wide.

I shout to the forest where trees top
pride.

Who's a mighty ranger? I am.

Actually, we shortened that in 84.

Kids.

Rangers rule!

Feels like an idiot.

All right, saplings. Tonight, we're here
to talk about the camping experience.

Now, when you're out in the woods, you
want to keep all the trash away from

campsite. It attracts animals.

What if there are cans in some?

Are there recycling bins?

Probably. Those damn eco -nuts are
undermining the aluminum industry and

a lot of good, hard -working Americans
out on their butts.

Remember, kids, you want to keep your
trash in a locked receptacle. Whoa,

whoa. What's that all about, eco -nuts?

Oh, I'm not just about skills. I like to
impart values, too.

Now, this is important to learn, kids,
because you're going to have to go out

and live in the woods someday, on your
own, when the government comes to take

our guns away.

Dugan, dude, these are kids.

If you want to talk about guns, do it
while you're patrolling your compound on

your riding mower.

Maybe stick to the guidebook.

Okay, your house, your rules.

How's this?

How to identify dangerous animals. Is
that acceptable?

Yes, that's great. Thank you. Okay,
good.

Sapling, there are many, many dangerous
animals out there in the woods, but you

can identify them by their marking and
their behavior.

Just like people.

Okay, where are you going with this,
Dugan? Stop, George.

I am right as rain on this one.

Okay, what kind of people, and how can
you tell?

Let's say I'm a cop.

Who am I going to pull over, the perky
little blonde in the cabriolet or some

Mexican in one of those bouncy cars?

You know that I'm Mexican, right?

Oh, no, not you. Gee, you guys are so
sensitive. I'm talking about a mino

-speaky Mexican.

That's it. Out of my house. What?

I'm not going to let you teach these
kids to be afraid of Mexican.

Oh, okay, I get it. I see what the
problem is. All right, let's say it's a

guy, okay?

No, meeting's over.

Max, take everyone in the living room
until their parents get here. Thank you.

And you, Grand Dragon, you got five
seconds to get out of my yard.

George, I have to talk to you.

What now?

That was Carmen.

She said she and Marisol wanted to catch
another movie, but the caller ID was a

Hollywood number, and she's supposed to
be in the Valley.

Here.

Start 69er.

Yes, hello, is there a girl named Carmen
there? She just used this phone.

Dark hair, big brown eyes, kind of thin.

No, you don't want a piece of that!

Why am I calling anyways?

Yeah, thanks.

On a payphone outside some place called
Club Hole.

Oh, my God. George, wait. You're not
going to stop me, Angie. No, you're not

going to get into a club with that
shirt.

Speak in the back. Who's going to notice
me walk into the kitchen?

Hop play.

Excuse me. Me no speaky. Hop play.

Oh, my God. That was so cool. No one
even knew I was 14.

See? I told you. Just remember the three
A's.

Appearance, attitude, and... Hey, what
are you looking at?

Oh, my God. It's after midnight. I'm
going to get killed.

Hey, Marisol.

I heard you're at Club Hall.

Are you looking for me, girl?

Why would I look for you, loser?

What's up? I'm 18.

Is this the skank that kept calling and
hanging up when we were together?

No, this is a different one.

Wait a second.

Get in the car.

You're not getting away from me this
time.

What, do you think you're all bad
because you got a job now?

There's still nothing, baby.

Hey!

What are you going to do, loca? Run me
over?

You're going to hurt him. You want to
know how to keep him from messing with

you? Watch and learn.

All right, I get it. We're through.

So who's your friend?

Where is she? I don't know. She wasn't
at the club.

It's one in the morning.

I'm calling the police right now.

Yeah, and what are you going to tell
them? That our 14 -year -old daughter is

not with some semi -retired gang member
that my wife tried to make part of the

family? You let Carmen go out to a movie
with her? Angie, you brought her into

our house.

Oh, so you're saying this is my fault?

No.

Because for some reason, that always
comes back to haunt me.

down here now.

I know it's late, but the second movie
was like three hours long. We're really

sorry. Yeah, I saw a movie tonight, too.
It was called Mad as Hell.

It's about a father who drives all
around Hollywood looking for the club

lying daughter's at.

No, no.

Let me tell you how the movie ends.

One of the girls dies.

Let me see your eyes.

They're not dilated.

Okay, breathe on me. Mom, I wasn't...
Breathe on me!

She's clean. All right.

Look, she was worried about her new
school. I was trying to help her grow up

little bit. I was doing you a favor.

Yeah, we wouldn't have been so late
except Junior showed up and was

Marisol. Oh, Junior was there?

He wasn't going to do anything. He can't
afford a third strike.

Pack up your stuff and get out of my
house before I waste my first strike on

you.

Fine.

And I've got one thing to say to you,
Missy.

Grounded. You are never leaving this
house.

Dad. Carmen, you are so grounded, coffee
will look at you and say, damn!

I'll be right back. I got a few words
for our house guest.

What were you thinking, huh?

This family's going to the debt to send
you to a private school to avoid

trouble, and you go looking for it?

Dad, I wasn't looking for trouble.
Marisol just said I need to be more like

Yeah, that's a good role model, Carmen.
A homeless charlatan with an abusive

boyfriend.

You know, I think they have their own
window at the unemployment office.

At least she tried to help me.

What is that supposed to mean? All you
say is everything's going to be okay,

nothing's going to happen, but you don't
know that.

You know what, Carmen, you're right. I
don't know that.

You might get picked on, so you have to
be tough.

But not that fake toughness that Marisol
has. Carmen, that's all an act.

Marisol's scared, and you'd see it on
her face if she'd ever take off that

makeup.

Underneath it all, she's probably like
this.

So how do I be tough for real?

Carmen, you have got to stop caring so
much about what people think about you.

Look, not everyone in the world is going
to like you.

I'd like to have just one friend.

Carmen, you'll always have one friend.

Thanks, Dad.

Not me.

But I don't know who, but if I end up as
your only friend, you fail completely.

I don't believe you.

I brought you into my house and you
betrayed me?

There are only two things keeping me
from tearing into you right now. My son

sleeping next door, and I'm pretty sure
you could kick my ass.

I was just trying to help Carmen.

Help Carmen?

You could have gotten her killed.

You weren't just going to a club. You
were out looking for your psycho

boyfriend. I wasn't looking for Junior.

Oh, no?

You don't know where he hangs out? You
were shocked to run into him?

I don't know. I don't want to talk about
this anymore.

Out of my way, prom queen.

No. And you are not dealing with the
prom queen.

I was first runner -up.

Wow, it's like we've lived the same
life.

Please, I don't want to hear how tough
you had it. You already quit the gang.

You got a job.

And if it were me, I would start to feel
better about myself. But I guess you

still think you deserve a guy who treats
you like crap.

See, you don't know how hard it was to
leave him.

You're right. It's much easier to stay
and be abused. Go ahead.

Throw your life away, because I don't
give a damn anymore.

You screwed up.

Sorry.

Now that you've apologized, we can work
on your self -esteem. I'll talk to

George about you today. Bye tonight.

George, where's Carmen? I want to talk
to her. I told her to wait in the living

room until Marisol's gone. Listen, I'm
sorry.

This was all my fault.

Oh, no. Nice try, but I'm not falling
for that.

George, this is not a trick. I'm saying
it was my fault. You can agree with me.

So we're never helping anyone ever
again?

Never. If there's someone on the side of
the road and they're dying, what do we

do?

Drive on by.

And if someone leaves a baby on the
doorstep?

Wait till night and let the coyotes get
it.

That's my girl.

Well, in about ten minutes, this will
all be over when Marisol's out of the

house. Listen, about that... No!

Wake up, fool.

What?

We talked, and while what you did was
wrong, we agreed not to throw you out on

the street.

So we found you a nice, loving home.

Hey, come on, sleeping beauty. My toilet
isn't going to plunge itself.

Question number 21.

What would you do if you're stuck in the
woods and you run out of food?

Mmm, I'd eat you.

Dad, the guys aren't having fun anymore.

Okay, I'll be right out.

Hey, you know, it's really cool you took
over as Max's troop leader.

Well, Ernie, it's important to him. I
mean, so what if I have to sacrifice my

son, Dave? He's my son.

I heard you guys weren't having fun
anymore.

Well, suck it up, Rangers!

Come on, get your butts in gear if you
want to earn that yard working badge.

Come on, move, move, move.

Come on, Diana Ross, let's go.

I've got a one o 'clock tea time.