All language subtitles for George Lopez s02e05 The Unnatural

Hey, here comes Marty again.

You know, I love this part of the day.

George, I need you to sign for this
package.

Where's the package?

Oh, boy.

You know what's really funny?

He doesn't know he retired three years
ago.

Hey, what are you doing?

Well, I'm still trying to find my dad.

So I'm going to run an ad in all the
newspapers up in Northern California.

What do you think?

I lost my father as a boy. Mother told
me he was dead.

Found out he's alive. I'm now seeking to
reunite with him. Manny Lopez, 5 '10",

Latino male, mid -50s, will pay for any
information leading to contact.

Hey, take a little advice from somebody
who's written more than his fair share

of personal ads.

They charge you by the word. You can say
the same thing with a lot less.

Just get rid of this, this, this, this,
this.

This and this.

Now read it to me.

Boy seeking Latino male.

Will pay for contact.

Well, at least it grabs you.

Yeah, but where?

What are you doing?

Trying to track my father down through
the personals.

Here, let me help you, okay?

Write this.

Ungrateful son seeks to ruin mother's
life by opening up old wounds.

If you like to watch beautiful sunsets
and middle -aged women suffer, call now.

Excuse me, George.

Hey, coach.

What are you doing down here? I'm really
sorry to bother you at work like this,

but can I talk to you for a minute?

Yeah, sure, man. Come on in.

Where have you been, by the way? I
haven't seen you at the last couple of

League games.

Oh, man, since I got promoted to
manager, I've got to work on weekends.

Hey, how's Bobby Jr. doing out there?

He's still leading the league in home
runs.

Listen, I was on my way to practice, and
I wanted to come by and talk to you

about your little slugger. You know, we
got that big game against the Pirates

coming up, George, and everybody's going
to have to give 110%. You know, my

kid's going to be pitching, and it'd be
just great, George, if your kid could

call in sick.

What? Come on, George. You got to know,
man. Max, well, he sucks.

Let's not take his shots at each other's
kids because I don't want to say

anything about your little fatty that I
might regret.

Well, you know, my son gets on base.

Because he thinks it's a marshmallow.

George, come on now. Max has not had one
hit.

It's not that we don't want Max to come.
It's just that, well, we don't want him

in the game. And they got that damn
every kid has to play rule.

It's horrible, isn't it? Bunch of kids
out there running around trying to have

fun. It makes me sick.

All right, listen.

If it helps, maybe I could sort of
sweeten the pot for you. What would you

to frozen Omaha steaks for a year?

You'd actually buy me steaks for a year
just to keep my son out of the game? Oh,

my God, no. All the parents are chipping
in.

I can go as high as lobster.

Well, since I can't tell all the other
parents out of my office, why don't I

just start with you? Oh, hey, George.
Now, come on. It's your call.

But I just want you to know that even
that kid with the heart murmur, he's the

calling in sick.

And he can bunt.

Hey, that wasn't a bunt. The ball
bounced up his oxygen tank.

Hey,

Mac. How was baseball practice?

It was great. The coach gave me a new
position.

Yeah? What's that?

I'm snap captain.

for tomorrow's practice.

And I get to serve them, too.

Holy crap.

Listen, why don't you go get your gear?
We'll go to the batting cage, take a few

cuts.

Okay, but we gotta finish the brownies
first.

We're making them into circles and
putting white frosting on them so they

like baseballs.

Holy crap!

Max, go get your gear.

Okay.

What's going on?

Max's little league coach came down to
my work.

All the parents think Max is so bad,
they tried to bribe me to keep him out

the next game.

Duck up, jerk.

My son is not bad. I went to his last
game. I cheered for our little number

nine.

No, he's number six.

Oh, man, then he really sucks.

Well, you know what? It doesn't matter
how good he is. That is not the point.

long as he's having fun, then, you know,
he should be able to play.

You know what?

This is my fault.

I missed some of his games. I haven't
been practicing with him the way I

but all that ends right now.

Can you believe some of these little
league parents? They get so obsessed

winning, they're out of control.

Max, get your bat and your butt down
here.

Let's go, man.

Hustle, hustle, hustle.

I'm ready, Dad. Come on, son. Let's go.

Mom, I know it's early, but can you take
the brownies out?

I don't want them dry for the guys.
Okay.

Dry for the guys.

Holy crap!

I want to show you something real quick
on my good thing shelf.

What's our wedding picture doing on my
good thing shelf?

Anyway, you see this, Paul?

I caught it at the 1978 All -Star Game.
It ricocheted off Rooney's head and put

him in the hospital. It's my lucky ball.

Cool.

After the game, I got it signed by four
of the greatest guys ever to play

baseball. Rod Carew, seven -time batting
champion, Joe Morgan, two -time

National League MVP, Jim Palmer, three
Cy Youngs, and 1978 All -Star MVP and my

favorite Dodger, Steve Garvey.

I wish I had some bobblehead toys.

Hey, man, they're not toys.

They're lifelike replicas of world
-class athletes whose heads just happen

bobble.

Okay, I can see the difference.

And you know what made these guys great,
Max? Is that they stood out. And that's

what I want you to understand, son. It's
about being better than the next guy.

But you said it was about teamwork.

Yeah, man, because your mom was around.

I'm not part of a greater machine?

No. What about what you said about
sportsmanship?

Aw, man, forget that, too. It's all
about you.

Do you want to get a hit Friday or what?

I want to get a hit, Dad. I don't care
about sportsmanship.

Stop him!

That's my boy!

Remember what I said.

Keep your elbow up.

Okay, good cut, good cut. Jeff, keep
your eyes open next time.

Okay, choke up on the bat a little bit.

Okay, keep your feet apart.

Man, Jeff, hit the damn ball, man!

Put in some more quarters.

Hey, why don't we just pitch the
quarters to him?

That way when he misses, we'll still
have the money.

Okay,

let me show you how it's done, son.

Okay, that's what you were doing.

I saw that because that's the last time
I'm going to show it to you.

That's what I'm talking about. Somebody
brought the big lumber.

Ernie, hit pause for me.

Hey, you know, your dad and I were
pretty good back in the day. They used

call us Batman and Ernie.

He was pretty good with a bat and, well,
as you know, my name's Ernie.

When I was a boy, baseball was
everything to me.

My dad wasn't around. My mom worked.

Baseball was like my family.

Except for the strike in 72, the lockout
in 73, the lockout in 76, the strike in

80, the strike in 81, the strike in 85,
the lockout in 90, and the strike in 94.

Baseball has always been there for me.

That's a good story, Dad.

How long are we going to do this?

All night if we have to.

Big game is day after tomorrow.

We're going to stay here until you get
this. Do you want it that bad? I want

I just can't hit it. I don't want to
hear can't.

We're Mexican, not Mexicans.

trick you into smelling things does this
taste funny

carmen i can't hit

this way pitch to me max what are you
doing this is the ball from the shelf

where dad keeps his dolls they're not
dolls max they're dolls dad has tea

parties with them let me go to bed

play with another ball. I don't have
another ball. I lost more on the roof.

Can you climb up on the roof and get me
one down?

Why, when you have a perfectly good one
right here.

Come on, let's go. Let's go. Let's try
it, Max. Here we go.

Hey, I got a hit.

It really is a lucky ball.

Give it up, Mr. Needles.

Try to take something out of a dog's
mouth.

You see the scar?

This is what my mom did to me when I
tried to take something out of a dog's

mouth.

Mr. Needles, come on. That's Dad's ball.

He's going to kill me.

It's going to be a sad tea party
tonight.

frisbee graveyard up here.

Uh -oh.

Did you get it?

Uh, Matt, did you ever find that little
gerbil that ran away?

No. Why?

No reason.

Freedom's not so sweet, isn't it, Mr.
Nibble?

signed that McDonald's napkin you gave
me for my birthday?

Yes, and I can get a note from Brad Pitt
saying he did.

I hear a car.

Here, go, go, go.

Max, what are you doing?

Nothing.

Is that my autographed baseball?

I was just looking at it.

Max, you know you're not supposed to
touch it.

This baseball is very important to me.

It was signed by Steve Gravy.

It's Garvey.

In Carmen's handwriting, it says Gravy.

Okay, where's my baseball?

Dad, did I tell you I got an A on my
spelling test? Hey, congratulations.

Where's my baseball?

Oh, no.

It's okay, George.

Ooh, there's a tooth.

I was practicing like you said and Mr.
Needles got it and wouldn't give it

I'm sorry, Dad. I'm really sorry.

Max, I don't want to hear it. Just go to
your room.

But you said I had to get a hit
tomorrow.

I didn't want to disappoint you.

Max, I can't even talk to you right now,
man. Just go to your room.

George, it was an accident.

I don't care how it happened.

He knows how important that baseball is
to me.

Honey, we can get you another baseball,
but you gotta know the only reason he

took it was because you're being so hard
on him to practice. He should be

grateful that he has a dad to push him.

I spent hours alone throwing a ball
against the garage door. Nobody cared if

was good or bad. At least I'm there for
him.

Is that what this is about?

You trying to make up for what your dad
didn't do for you?

In a way, yeah.

You know, the first time I made a home
run, it felt so great until I looked up

in the stands and realized there was
nobody there for me.

And when I got to home plate, the coach
said, that's my boy.

And I cried.

And then when I got to the dugout, the
other team's coach said, you're in the

wrong dugout, son.

And I cried some more.

All I'm saying is it hurts not to have a
father.

It also hurts to disappoint your father.

Hey, Lopez, look alive.

Who said that?

I did.

Come here.

We want to talk to you.

Man, you guys can talk?

Joe? Rod?

Steve?

Jim?

I haven't seen you guys since you signed
my ball. Remember that day?

Yeah, sure. You were the kid with the
pen and the ball.

I wish I could high -five right now.

You know, George, you're going a little
nuts over this ball thing.

Andy's right, George. You're pushing Max
way too hard.

It's your own fault.

Hey, I get that from my wife, man. I
don't need it from my bobbleheads.

Okay, even if I did push him too hard,
that's what a dad's supposed to do.

Otherwise, he'll never be a good player.

Weren't you guys pushed?

Yeah. But we really love the game.

Does Max even like baseball?

Sure he does.

Well, he likes baking brownies in the
shape of baseballs.

Hey, that's how I started.

I've been in a lot of dreams, George.

Yours, Benny's, Angie's.

But I've never been in Max's.

We talked to Barry Barnes, A -Rod, Sammy
Sosa, nothing.

Max doesn't dream about baseball.

You're kidding.

You're on deck, George.

Guys,

I think I can handle the dream from
here.

Get up, George.

Get up.

Come on, George.

Get up, get up, get up.

Get up, George.

Get up, yeah.

Get up, George. Get up.

Get up.

I got to talk to Max.

Stop dreaming about Jim Palmer.

Max,

you up?

sleep.

I want to talk to you.

I'm sorry about the baseball, Dad.

I feel so bad.

I'll pay you back.

Max, I don't want you to worry about the
baseball. It's not important anymore.

You're what's really important to me.

More important than Carmen?

Watch me.

Carmen is just as important to me as you
are.

Have you ever said that to Carmen?

Watch me.

I want to ask you, do you even like
baseball?

It's okay.

Max, you can tell me the truth. I don't
care if you play baseball. I don't care

if you play any sport.

Ben, I don't want to play anymore.

I just want to hang out with my friends
and have fun.

Can I go and sit for tomorrow's game?

Sure you can.

I'll call Coach Bobby for you.

And we're going to celebrate with a
steak dinner.

Dad? Can I have my own Good Things
shelf?

Yes.

Hey, I know who could go up there.

Where's that macaroni picture frame I
made for you?

Oh, that's in the back of my Good Things
closet.

Come downstairs. I want to show you
something.

What's my wedding picture doing up
there?

Now the ball's a different good thing.

And every time I see it, I think of you.

Hey, what's that glass golf ball? Touch
it and I'll kill you.

Hope you saw that, because that's the
last time I'm going to show it to you.

Hope you saw that because that's the
last time I'm going to show it to you.