All language subtitles for Family Ties s06e02 The Last Of The Red Hot Psychologists 2

Did something go wrong at the psychology
session?

I go to see this girl, this Lauren
Miller girl, right? The one that's

the experiment on overachievers.

Anyway, things started out fine.

I said hello, you know, exchanged a few
pleasantries. The next thing I know, we

get into this huge argument about money.

Yeah, in other words, the same thing
that happens when you meet anybody.

Nobody has irritated me this much, this
fast since the first time I met Alan.

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking I'm falling for this
girl. There's no way. That's not true.

You actively dating?

That's an area of my life that's in a
holding pattern.

I wish I could be as analytical about
love as you overachievers, but I guess

could say that I'm in the hopeless
romantic category.

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love
each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha -la -la -la.

You know, I had a terrific time talking
to your family the other day. They

really seem to love you a lot.

You sure it was my family you were
talking to?

They gave me a lot of great information.

And they told me about Ellen.

Oh, yeah.

Do you mind discussing her?

Because if you'd rather not... No, no,
no. No problem. No, I'd love to talk

about Ellen.

What do you want to know?

Well, psychologically speaking, it's
interesting that you used to be in a

relationship with a girl like Ellen.

I mean, considering that most
overachievers look for other

out with.

I mean...

She was an artist, wasn't she?

Yeah, an artist.

Dancer, a poet.

We were complete opposites.

Why did you break up?

Oh, she got a dance scholarship in
Paris.

Do you miss her?

Sure.

Yeah. I miss her in the way that you'd
miss a close friend, you know?

I mean, Ellen taught me a lot.

She taught me how to appreciate art.

At least, not to laugh at it so much.

He taught me how to come out of my
emotional shell, you know? Be more

more open, more caring.

Made me a better person.

Alex, what you just said was really
beautiful.

I mean, it was almost poetic.

Well, that hardly seems possible.

Nothing rhymed.

It just doesn't add up. I mean, on the
surface, you're this business -oriented,

money -minded, conservative guy.

Yet you fall for a girl like Ellen and
express those kind of feelings.

You're definitely the most complex
overachiever I know.

How many of us do you know?

Well, I've interviewed 12 people so far.

And I was going out with this guy who...

That I only qualified as an
overachiever.

You and an overachiever?

That seems biologically impossible.

He was a graduate student in business
management.

And you let him go?

I got a job offer from a big investment
firm on Wall Street.

His own office and $50 ,000 a year to
start.

What was that?

Well, you can't really blame the guy.

I don't blame him.

It was mutual. I got tired of
interpreting his dreams.

They were always about BMWs.

So, you haven't seen anybody since then?

Alex, how come you're the one that
always ends up asking me the questions?

I'll share my hundred bucks with you.

Seventy -five.

Don't be so hung up on money.

No, I haven't seen anybody since then.

I guess you could say I've been kind of
wary about getting involved.

Right.

Have you seen anybody since Ellen?

No.

I guess you could say I've been pretty
wary of myself.

I guess it's best that way. That way
nobody gets hurt. Exactly.

Although sometimes if you take the
chance of getting hurt,

You could be surprised.

That's true.

Look, Alex, I got some research I want
you to comment on. What?

I mean, I had some research I wanted you
to comment on. I got it. No, no, I got

it. No, you didn't get it. I didn't.

Lauren, look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I
didn't mean to kiss you. I was helping

with the papers and your lips got in the
way.

It's okay. This is really interesting
stuff. You'll probably be able to put it

down.

Alex, I gotta go. Lauren, wait a minute.

Look, we were just getting good at that.

still must be at school.

High school's going to be a lot rougher
than I thought. This algebra course is a

killer. Well, maybe we can help you,
Jen. I think I better wait for Alex.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. You're
sitting here with two college graduates.

I'm sure we can handle it, right, Elise?

I think we should wait for Alex.

Go ahead. I'm listening.

There are two trains.

If the first train's destination is a
thousand miles away and it travels at a

speed of 120 miles an hour for two
hours, At what point will it pass a

coming from 700 miles away in the
opposite direction traveling 90 miles an

making stops of 18, 12, and 10 minutes?

There are two trains, right?

I'll send Alex up when he gets home.
Thanks.

Hey.

Alex, when you have a chance, Jen could
use some help on an algebra problem?

Yeah, I'll go up in a minute. Can I talk
to you guys?

Sure, what's up?

I did something incredible today,
something I told myself I'd never do.

You helped a Democrat cross the street?

Of course.

You see, it happened during one of my
research sessions with Lauren.

We were talking, you know, this, that,
you know. And anyway,

one thing and another, you know. Well,
what happened after you kissed her?

I fumbled out a little apology. I mean,
it was a little kiss.

It was a little nothing.

And then she kissed me.

A big one.

She really tore the ligaments in my
neck.

Alex, does Lauren know how you feel
about her?

I don't know how I feel about her.

I mean, on one hand, I can't stop
thinking about her.

And on the other hand, I'm just not
ready for this kind of relationship

now.

Hey, what's going on?

Oh, we're having a private discussion,
you know.

Great, what's it about?

Private, meaning I'd rather not discuss
it with you.

Alex, why won't you share some of your
emotional life with me?

After all, it's so little of it to go
around.

Because, Mel, whenever I tell you
something personal, it's instantly

up to some big gossip satellite in the
sky, and it's beamed back down into the

otherwise empty heads of your rumor
-mongering friends.

Alex, I won't tell a soul, I promise.

There's an outside possibility that I
may have developed something other than

professional relationship with Lauren.

Oh, I've already spread that gossip.

How did you know?

Because you always wear that blue
sweater when you want to impress a girl.

one with the monogrammed APK on it.

It's totally wrong for you, by the way.
Makes you look like a big blue bath

towel.

That's the look I was going for.

Congratulations.

Anyway, this whole thing is complicated
by the fact that Lauren has already been

through a bad experience with another
guy.

Well, then that's perfectly
understandable behavior coming off a

Alex, I think you should tell her how
you feel. Be as open and honest as you

can. She's a psychology major. You can
see why I do that.

We were just talking.

One thing led to another, and then he
kissed me.

going to tell him how I feel about him.
I don't even know how I feel about him.

All right, here he is.

I want everything to be completely
businesslike.

Maybe you should go.

Hello?

Hello?

Come in.

We've got a lot of ground to cover
today. Why don't we get started?

Fine, fine. I'm ready to work.

That's why I'm here.

Good.

Okay, last time we discussed your
childhood and your scholastic career.

Today I'd like to discuss your future.

How do you picture your life ten years
from now?

Well, I'll probably be a partner in a
major New York banking firm, making a

quarter of a million dollars a year.

I'll have a condo in Manhattan, beach
house in Long Island, house in between.

And a huge electrical fence to keep poor
relatives out.

How about you out of use for yourself
ten years from now?

Alex, this is how we get into trouble.

You start asking questions, you throw me
off track.

The next thing you know, we're on the
floor and you're kissing me.

While we're on this topic, let me just
say that while I was kissing you, you

were kissing me. What happened at our
last session was a very natural thing.

We were opening up emotionally to each
other. Things got a little out of hand.

It happens all the time.

Lauren, if that happens all the time,
you're going to be the most popular

psychologist in Ohio.

It's a very simple psychological
phenomenon known as emotional

It's well documented in the literature.
I'll show you.

Try looking under kiss.

Transference.

The psychological carryover of learned
emotional responses from one behavioral

situation to another.

The kiss.

I would just like it noted, for the
record, that we were kissing each other.

It's duly noted.

Thank you, Miss Miller. You're welcome,
Mr. Kiss.

Well, now that we've gotten that cleared
up, may we please continue?

Yes, ma 'am.

Okay, so far you've got a quarter
million dollars and a huge fence.

Very full life.

Are you married?

Definitely, definitely.

And what's your wife like?

She's a warm, wonderful, caring woman.

She looks great in an evening gown.

She understands my needs. You know, my
priorities are her priorities.

Where are you planning to meet her? At
dog obedience school?

I can just imagine what your husband is
going to be like.

And what's that supposed to mean?

Why, you probably have him strapped to a
polygraph machine.

Makes sure all his feelings, all his
emotions are real.

That's right.

I'd like to be with a man who's not
afraid to express his feelings. What's

with that?

Absolutely nothing.

Why don't we give Phil Donahue a call?

Well, let's just hope for your sake.

that in ten years, Pat Nixon is
available.

Oh, now you're making fun of Pat Nixon.

Is nothing sacred to you?

You know, I hope you can make that fence
of yours real tall, Alex, because I

wouldn't want you to see any part of the
real world by mistake.

You're telling me about the real world.
A girl who holds up in a psych lab,

behind all her books and her reports,
judging other people. Oh, good.

Things are finally getting out in the
open here.

Yeah, one more thing. You know, I came
here today thinking that maybe, By some

incredible chance, we might have
something together.

What was I wrong?

You know, for your information, I was
wondering the same thing. You know, I

thought you were different.

I must have been crazy. You're just like
all the others.

All right, okay, here we are. Back to
the first day. The big generalizations.

All of us overachievers are the same.

Well, aren't you? Look, every response
is identical.

I want a quarter of a million dollars.

I want a beach house. I want a fence to
keep my relatives out.

You know, the biggest... distinction is
whether to get the Jaguar in black, red,

or racing green.

They come in racing green?

You know, I'll tell you this much.

The guy I fall for isn't going to plan
his life out according to some graph.

And his wife isn't going to be a walking
Barbie doll.

He's going to be overwhelmed with
passion, devastated by emotion, and

by the intensity of his love.

And I was overwhelmed.

and devastated and exhausted.

I just freshened up before I came over
here.

I don't know why I bothered.

You know, I really don't see any point
in going on with these things. No,

great. Why don't you just send the check
to my house? Of course.

You'll get your precious check.

Hey, Chester, don't ever evolve.

It's not worth it.

All right.

Hey.

Hey, where's everybody going?

Oh, we're taking Andy to see Snow White.

Snow White.

That was a gal.

What's the matter with you, Alex? You
don't look too great.

Things didn't work out between me and
Lauren.

Alex, I'm so sorry.

You must have worn the blue sweater.

I appreciate your concern, Mel.

This isn't a fashion issue.

You want to go to the movie with us,
Alex?

The popcorn's on me.

Come on along, Alex.

Indulge your Snow White fantasy.

Yeah, Alex, you can pretend to be the
eighth dwarf.

Greedy.

Thanks anyway, guys. I'm not really in
the mood for a fairy tale right now.

Anyway, they're replaying President
Reagan's news conference from this

afternoon. I thought you said you
weren't in the mood for a fairy tale.

Ah, just kidding.

Okay, we'll see you later. Bye.

Mom.

I say you're going.

Well, to tell you the truth, I'm a
little fed up with Snow White.

I mean, she's just so passive.

You know, lying around waiting for some
prince to come and give her a kiss.

What kind of role model is that for
women today?

I mean, she should go to school, get a
degree, start a business, and hire a

prince.

Then she could kiss him whenever she
wants.

Hell down.

I can't imagine what's going to happen
when they re -release Bambi.

I'm all right. I'm fine.

How are you doing?

What do you mean about Warren?

I don't know.

I figured it was meant to be.

It would have happened by now.

I've known you a long time now.

That doesn't mean I fully understand
you.

Doesn't mean I even have a clue.

But I do know one thing. You are not the
kind of person who sits around and

mopes and casually takes defeat.

I'm trying to look at it
philosophically, you know?

I mean, it's part of growing up.

It's part of the maturing process.

You really seem to have a passion for
this girl, Lauren.

If I were you, I'd get the hell over
there.

Thanks, Mom.

Tell Lauren your mommy sent you.

Alex. Hi.

Hi. You busy?

No, come on in.

Thanks.

This is the surprise.

Yeah, well, my mommy...

So,

this is your place, huh?

Yeah.

Nice.

It's very nice.

Thank you.

Look, Lauren, I don't want to take up
too much of your time, okay? I just came

over to say something, and I'm going to
say it.

What is it, Alex?

Lauren... Yes, Alex?

Do you have the correct address to send
my check to?

Yeah, I've got your check.

Well,

thanks.

You get that?

That's it?

Yeah, I guess so.

I mean, I got what it came for, so...
Yeah.

Well, I'll see you.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll see you.

Look, Lauren, this check is not what I
came here for.

What's the matter? You wanted cash?

No, look, I was just thinking about what
you said to me, about how I plot out

every aspect of my life and the way all
I think about is money.

Alex, I was upset when I said that.

No, no, you were right.

See, after Ellen and I broke up, I just
told myself I wasn't going to get

involved in any other relationships.

And I'd just concentrate on school and
on career and on making money. And I

thought I'd be happy.

And then I met you.

And those things just don't seem like
enough anymore.

They don't? I mean, don't get me wrong.
I mean, I love money.

But you can't come home at night and
cuddle up with money.

You know, you can't sit down and pour
your feelings out to money.

Can't take a romantic moonlight walk in
the beach with money.

God knows I've tried.

Alex, what are you saying?

Lauren, you know how you have an image
of yourself in your mind?

You know, and that image is of being the
best, you know, being the cleverest,

the happiest person that you can be.

Uh -huh.

Well, I just feel like when I'm with
you, I can be that person.

I make you feel that way?

Well, I can't stop thinking about you.

I want to be with you.

I want to hold you.

I want to open a joint bank account with
you.

I can't believe it.

It's true.

Lauren, I think I'm falling in love with
you.

Well, that I can believe. It's the part
about the joint bank account.

Alex, you know when you said that I was
hiding in my psych lab just making

judgments on people?

You were right.

I have been hiding because I was scared
of getting hurt.

And since you started coming in, I felt
incredibly alive.

Also annoyed, bothered, and frustrated,
but mostly alive.

Alive is good.

Those are good signs.

But, Alex, you know, maybe we shouldn't
go so fast, though.

You know, we should probably discuss and
try to place in some perspective our...

What bank do you want to start the
account in?

I've always been partial to First
Federal.

I was hoping you didn't come by here
just to pick up your jacket.

Jacket? I couldn't care less about that
jacket.

San Diego's home for comedy has more
laughs than ever. Touche.

We can prove it. This should be good.
Starting at 6, it's friends.

Yes. Then say hello to Will and Grace.

Whoa. Then more friends at 7. And
everybody loves Raymond at 7 .30. This

showbiz. The laughs are on us. We are
KSWB, San Diego's WB.

Sit.

Good dog.