All language subtitles for Family Ties s02e11 Birthday Boy

I bet we've been together for a million
years And I bet we'll be

together for a million more Oh, it's
like I started breathing

on the night we did And I can't remember
what I ever

did before What would we do, baby,
without us?

What would we do?

Don't be silly, Barbara. I told you
yesterday you'll be no trouble at all.

Okay, I'll see you Saturday. Bye -bye.

Who was that?

My cousin Barbara, she and Dick are
going out of town on Saturday. They want

know if we can babysit for little
Kenneth.

Why? Are all the reform schools closed
for the weekend?

Stephen, he's a perfectly well -behaved
little boy.

Elise, we're talking about a kid who
needed a police escort to nursery

Come on, Stephen, it'll be fun. Alex and
Mallory will be out of town. We'll have

plenty of room.

Elise, I have some very important work
to get done on Saturday. Plus, I'm

planning on watching the big Ohio State
-Iowa game. Stephen, don't worry.

Jennifer and I will keep him out of your
way.

I promise.

I just wish you'd consult me on these
things first.

I will from now on.

I promise.

It's not fair to impose on me. I mean,
it is the weekend.

You're absolutely right.

I'm wrong.

I'm sorry.

Okay?

Okay. I hope I wasn't too rough on you.

I hope Kenneth finds something in here
he likes.

That's all I could find out of Alex's
old toys.

He used to have a whole closet full.

I think he sold the rest to an
orphanage.

Come on, will you talk to Alex, please?
He says I can't go to Princeton with him

this weekend.

No, no, no. I did not say that.

All I said was that if she insists on
tagging along to visit Jeff, she's going

to have to abide by my rules.

What rule?

He told me I had to ride in the freight
car.

It is not a freight car.

It's a baggage car.

I went to a lot of trouble to set up
this interview with the dean of

This interview is pivotal to my future
as a collegian. It is not a vacation

junket for your personal amusement.

Alex, we understand how important this
interview is to you, but I think you

ought to ease up on your restrictions a
little bit.

Alex, I promise I will not annoy you for
the entire weekend.

How can I be so sure of that?

You've never gone that long without
annoying me before.

I've never tried before.

Look, Alice, I won't bother you. You
won't even know I'm there.

Okay.

What should we wear on the train?
Something collegiate.

Yo, Jeff.

Wow, 305. This is the place.

Wow. This is great.

I love college.

Alex, I'll be back about two. Make
yourself comfortable, Jeff.

Alex, Jeff is going to be so surprised
to see me.

Are we going to wait here for him? No,
no. We are not going to do anything,

Mallory. I am going to get settled here,
walk around the campus, and go to my

interview.

I've got to get mentally prepared.

I don't even want to see you until after
the interview is over. Is that clear?

I saw a poster for a dance tonight.

I wonder if Jeff will take me to that.
Do you think he will?

You're really starting to get on my
nerves, Mallory.

I brought a nice dress with me just in
case.

Oh, Alex, this is so exciting!

Mallory, uh, listen.

Mallory.

I would very much like to be alone right
now, okay?

Why don't you, uh, why don't you go
downstairs?

Find what room you're gonna be in. Get
yourself settled.

I should be gone by the time you get
back.

Mallory.

Please. I beg of you, go away.

Okay, I'll go.

Oh, listen, if Jeff comes back, don't
tell him I'm here. I want to surprise

How's it going?

Um, fine. Where's, uh, you know, the
little prince?

Kenneth is outside playing quietly with
Jennifer just where he's been. since he

first got here. Okay, okay, don't rub it
in. He's behaving very well.

I'm sorry I overreacted the other day. I
guess the memory of Kenneth's last

visit was still fresh in my mind.

Stephen, Kenneth's last visit was
uneventful.

Fire department didn't think so.

Relax, get your work done. Pretty soon
you just forget he's even around.

Kenneth shot me.

He was playing and he snuck up on me and
he zapped me with a toy space gun.

Oh, honey.

Should I take you to the pretend
hospital?

Can we go now?

Go where?

Don't you remember?

Today's Mother's Day at my ballet
school.

All the mothers will be there.

Don't go.

Can't you go some other time?

Tomorrow?

I forgot all about it, but I promised
her, honey. I have to go.

I'll go get my staff.

Well, if you must go, would you please
take Kenneth with you?

What would Kenneth do at a ballet class?

The same thing he does here. Cause
misery and human suffering.

That's enough, Stephen. You are
overreacting to the whole situation.

Okay.

You're right. I'm sorry.

Let's go, Mark.

Okay. I'll see you in a little while,
honey.

Let's hope.

Bye, Daddy. Bye. Bye, honey.

Kenneth! Hi, Cousin Louise.

Look, Kenneth, I have to take Jennifer
to ballet class.

You play nicely while I'm gone.

Don't worry about me. I'll be fine here
with good old Cousin Stephen.

I accept your apology, Kenneth.

I know you have a lot of work to do, so
I won't bother you anymore, okay?

Thank you. I appreciate it.

I'll go outside and play with some of
those toys.

Maybe when I'm done here, I'll come out
and we can toss the softball around. How

does that sound?

Great! I'll warm up. See you later.

Take me out to the crowd.

Buy me something else.

Ants crack.

Alex! Hey, Jeff, how you doing, buddy?

Good to see you. Great to see you. Uh,
try to stay off my roommate's side.

Things can get a little dangerous over
there.

Yeah. Uh -huh.

So, when's your interview?

Half an hour.

I'm so excited.

Who's it with?

One of the deans.

Dean Memminger.

Memminger?

Alex, he's tough.

What do you mean, tough?

Well, he's from the old school, likes
the old values. He wasn't happy when the

school went co -ed.

He thinks girls interfere with the manly
pursuit of higher education.

So do I.

Listen, Jeff, I was going to take a
little walk around the old campus before

interview. Want to come? I can't. I've
got a friend coming over in a few

minutes. Okay, well, see you later.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Did, uh, your friend Alex get here?
Yeah. He just went off to have his...

interview.

Have you told his sister about me yet?

Not yet.

I feel funny doing it in a letter.

I'm gonna wait until the next time I go
back home so I can tell her in person.

Good.

Jeff?

Mallory? What are you doing here?

I came up with Alex.

To surprise you.

Well, it worked.

So, I really think I'm top Princeton
material.

My overall GPA is 3 .9874, and I scored
in the top 3 % nationwide in the SATs.

I was also editor of the school
newspaper, and I lettered in soccer for

three years. That's very impressive.

You certainly seem like Princeton
material to me.

Well, uh, thank you.

Well, take care.

Mr. Keaton?

Yes, sir. That's me. Keaton. Alex.

P.

Dean Memminger. No middle initial.

Well, uh, that's not your fault, sir.

I mean, uh, I mean, hello.

It's a pleasure to meet you, sir. I'm
not quite ready for you yet.

Be right back.

Allow me, sir. Please wait inside my
office. I'll join you in a few minutes.

Yes, sir.

I'll just wait inside your office then,
sir.

You'll be back in a few minutes.

So far, so good.

Well... Yes,

Dean Memminger, I certainly do want to
attend Princeton.

I've always had a certain, oh, shall we
say lust?

No, not lust. An admiration for the Ivy
League.

Alex!

Mallory, what are you doing here?

I saw Jeff.

What about Jeff?

Kissing the desk?

No, he was leaning against the desk.

He was, um, he was, he was kissing, um,
a girl.

Oh, boy.

Oh, let's go home.

Let's go home, okay, Alan?

Mallory, are you crazy?

Why don't you take her out for dinner?
Here's a couple of bucks.

Mallory, I had every intention of
telling you about Sandy.

Sandy? Did you hear that, Alice? Her
name's Sandy.

Great, here's some more money. Take
Sandy with you.

I'm sorry you had to find out like this,
but don't forget, we did agree to see

other people.

Say, that's right. Well, I guess this is
settled, huh?

I was just wishing Alex good luck. I
think you'll really like him.

He's a swell kid.

Oh, that's good enough for me.

Congratulations.

Welcome to Princeton.

We'll talk later, Mallory.

Well, so long.

And who is this?

Hi.

Uh, she was just leaving.

Mallory, please, be reasonable, okay?
Just wait outside. I'll be down here in

few minutes.

Okay, I'll wait out here.

Good. And try to keep your mind off
Jeff.

Okay,

I'm ready.

You sure?

has not got off to a good start, Mr.
Keaton. If there's any further

interruptions, I may have to hold it
against you.

Yes, sir. I'd do the same thing if I
were in your shoes.

By the way, did I tell you how much I
liked your shoes?

Sit down, Mr. Keaton, please.

Yes, sir.

I must say, I'm very impressed with your
application.

Very impressed indeed.

I can always spot sincerity and
commitment in an application.

Well, thank you, sir.

I tried to throw a lot of both in there.

Uh, Dean Meminger, as you could probably
tell, I regard Princeton as perhaps the

finest... educational... in...

Um, ever since I was a young lad of
about, oh, I don't know, six or

eight months of age... Excuse me.

Hello?

It's for you.

Hello.

Matt Mallory, would you please... Look.

Look, I know you want to go home right
now, but I...

Mallory, don't leave without me.

No, no, don't leave the building. I
repeat, do not leave the building.

You think she'll call again?

No, no, that's it.

Fine, then we can get on with this
interview.

Please. All right, Mr.

Keaton, could you tell me what unique
qualities you possess which might enrich

the Princeton community?

Well, sir, I'm glad you asked that.

How much time have you got?

Well,

sir, at the risk of sounding immodest,
you see before you a young man without a

flaw.

Unless, of course, you find me immodest,
in which case I have one flaw.

I see that you're very involved in
extracurricular activities.

Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir. You speak
correctly.

As a matter of fact, if I may speak
extra correctly for a moment.

If you can, please do.

Well, sir, I... She's leaving.

Huh?

Just a second.

Valerie, come back here, will you? What
is going on here?

D -Manager, is there any possibility of
rescheduling this interview? Maybe later

today or tomorrow.

There'll be no rescheduling of this
interview.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, sir, because
I really have to go.

What?

Look, that's my sister out there.

She came up to Princeton with me to
surprise her boyfriend, and she saw him

another girl.

She's very upset, and...

I should probably go talk to her because
I am her brother.

So, I gotta go.

Sir, I hope my record can stand on its
own.

Because I really do want to attend
Princeton.

I love this place.

I love everything about it.

I have ivy grown on my bedroom walls.

Tigers beat Yale.

I mean that.

The Buckeyes call timeout. Twelve
seconds left in the game.

It's a long shot, folks, but they're
still in this one.

I'm bored, Cousin Stephen. When's
Jennifer getting back?

Very soon.

Isn't there something you can do until
she gets back?

Like what?

Well, what have you been doing up till
now?

Burning ants with a magnifying glass.

So keep doing.

Do you want to try some closets again?

No, no, I'd really rather you... What do
you mean again?

Team three take the field for what well
could be the final play of the game.

The Buckeyes are down 16 to 12.

Oh, can I watch Stippy Dog?

Kenneth, no. Kenneth, please.

This is the last play of the game.

I'll bet I can get the pitcher to come
in better. Kenneth, it's fine. It's

Really, really. The Buckeyes line up at
the power line. formation.

Stockwood calls the signal. He takes the
snap.

How are you feeling?

I want to die.

Guess you're not up for a game of gin
and rummy then, huh?

What a weekend.

I ruined your interview. I lost my
boyfriend. I made a complete fool of

in the process.

Never before have I acted so stupidly
and so selfishly. Come on, Mallory.

I'm sure you have.

I'm kidding. I'm just kidding. Come on,
cheer up, will you?

So, uh, how did you and Jeff leave
things?

Well, there wasn't a whole lot we could
say to each other. I mean, we did agree

to see other people.

It was stupid of me to go up there this
weekend.

Why didn't you try to stop me?

I'm kidding.

I'm just kidding.

Well, it's good that you can laugh about
it.

The spirit does funny things to a woman.

Listen, uh, Mallory.

You lost a boyfriend today.

A good one, and, uh... And I know you're
upset.

But let me tell you something.

You're a very special person.

You got a good heart.

You got a good sense of humor.

You're attractive.

And, uh... You're a lot smarter... Than,
uh, than I usually give you credit for.

So, uh, don't you worry, Mallory.

There are a lot of guys out there who
would consider themselves lucky to even

meet someone like you.

It's true, Mallory.

I don't know what in the world just
possessed me to say all that.

But, uh, it is true.

Alice, I don't understand it. I mean,
I'm surprised you're not angry with me

after what I did to you today.

Mallory, what would be the point in
getting angry at you now?

You're brokenhearted. You're in a
weakened state.

Oh, well, you feel better. Then I'll
really let you have it.

No, I'm serious, Alex. I ruined your
college interview.

I mean, I practically destroyed your
chances of getting into Princeton.

What I did today may have damaged the
course of your entire life because of

Mallory, listen, I'm not angry now, but
if you keep this up, I'm going to throw

you off the train.

But it's true.

I don't understand it myself.

All I know is when I was up there in
Dean Memminger's office and I saw you

wandering across the campus delirious
with grief, it really got to me.

All of a sudden, getting into Princeton
didn't seem as important as helping you

out.

I think you're changing, Alex.

You may be right, Mallory.

I really learned a lot about myself
today.

What?

Well, I always thought that I knew
myself, you know?

What I wanted, how I wanted to get it.

Apparently, I was wrong.

I am just going to have to face the
cold, hard truth that underneath it all,

like it or not, I'm just a hell of a
nice guy.

Shut up and deal the cards.

All right.

How about a game of hearts?

Alex.

Homemade?

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.