All language subtitles for Family Ties s01e20 The Fifth Wheel

I bet we've been together for a million
years.

And I bet we'll be together for a
million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the
night we kissed.

And I can't remember what I ever did
before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do, baby, without us?

And there ain't no nothing.

We can't love each other through.

What would we do, baby, without us?

Sha la la la.

Elise, it isn't like you to have such a
closed mind. I think Dale Lewis would

make a good state senator. He has some
very interesting ideas.

I'm sorry, Stephen. It's just hard to
get excited about someone whose entire

campaign revolves around changing the
state bird.

What have you got against chickens?

I don't think chickens would look good
on the state flag.

Okay, okay, but changing the bird is
just part of his campaign.

Right. He also wants a new Ohio State
song.

What's wrong with that?

He wants Oklahoma.

Okay, it's not a big issue. It just
shows he's willing to address himself to

even the smallest details.

I think that's an admirable quality.

It's an admirable quality in a tailor.

I'd like my representatives to address
themselves to more important issues.

Look, if you're so dead set against
Lewis, there's no point in you hearing

speak tonight. Why don't you just stay
home?

Maybe I will.

Good for you, Mom.

This Lewis guy is a real clown.

He wants to cut defense spending. He
wants to increase welfare spending. He

supports the ERA.

The man is an admitted liberal.

I think you're right not to go.

Come on, Steven. We're going to be late.

Oh, Jennifer says I have to babysit
tonight.

That's right, Mallory. It's your turn.

Jeff asked me to go to the movies with
him.

Mallory, you knew we were going to go
out and you knew it was your turn.

But I couldn't say no.

You know how insecure Jeff is.

As it was, he called three times in a
phony voice. It could be weeks before he

asked again.

Why don't you let her go?

To be honest, I enjoy the solitude.

I might even write a poem.

Actually, honey, you're still too young
to stay alone.

We better get going or we'll be late for
the meeting.

That's right, we don't want to miss the
opening chorus of Oklahoma.

Bye. Bye.

Alice.

The answer is no.

Oh, why can't you stay with her? You're
not doing anything tonight.

That's not the point.

Mallory, she's your responsibility
tonight.

You've got to learn to carry your share
of the burden around here. I'll tell you

what, Alex. You stay with her this time,
and I'll do it the next three.

Make it five. You've got a deal.

This is doing great things to my self
-esteem.

I just hope you realize, Mallory, you
are shirking your responsibility

Not to mention disappointing your little
sister.

I know, I know. My heart goes out to
her. I hope I can find something decent

wear.

Well, kid, you're locked out. You get to
spend an evening with me.

What do you want to do?

I think I'll go to bed early.

Hey, Alex, do you want to play all -star
baseball?

Do you want me to shave your head?

Nah.

Alex, you're babysitting me tonight.
You're responsible for my entertainment.

Oh, all right. I was saving it for
later, but here you go.

Your personal guide to tax -free
municipal bonds.

Enjoy.

So, are you two getting along?

Fine.

Excitement over here doesn't want to do
anything.

Oh, he'll come around, Jennifer.

Mallory, you were supposed to sit for me
tonight.

It's not going to be fun with him.

Come on, Jen. You can do the same things
with Alex that you and I would have

done.

Oh, yeah?

We were supposed to put makeup on each
other.

Neil, what's going on?

Oh, tonight?

Oh, no, I can't tonight. I'm babysitting
my little... Really.

Uh, no, tonight's not good for me.

Whoa, that's tempting.

Uh, maybe I could... Alex!

At the moment, I'd say it's about 50
-50.

60 -40.

I'll get back to you.

What was it, another party?

No, not at all. Just a group of fellow
young men getting together to chat about

world events.

A poker game. Oh.

You got it. And Chuck the Fish is going
to be there. He never wins.

Come on, Mallory. What do you say? How
can I get you to stay home tonight? You

couldn't. We switch tonight, and a
deal's a deal.

Hello, Mallory.

Hello, Jeff.

Hello, Alex.

Mallory tonight, huh? Yeah.

Boy, I admire your courage.

What do you mean?

Well, I just wouldn't drive on a night
like tonight.

Why not?

Well, you really want to drive in this
weather, Jeff? It's a beautiful night.

Those are the most dangerous times to
drive. All of the people who are afraid

drive in the rain are out there.

Forget it, Alex. We're going.

I don't know, Mallory. Maybe he's right.
I mean... Okay.

Look, Jen, I'm real sorry I switched
with Alex tonight, but you understand,

don't you?

Not exactly.

But I'm sure I will right after puberty.

I'll see you later.

You guys have a good time.

Jeff.

So,

what do you want to do?

Want to play Cinderella?

I seriously doubt it.

Hear me out.

One of us gets dressed up like
Cinderella, and one of us gets dressed

the prince. And then we go and see if
Mom's slippers fit me.

Sounds exciting, but I think I'll pass.

Jennifer, let me explain to you the
importance of poker in a man's life.

Coach, you're not going to the game.

In this industrialized society of ours,

There aren't many battles for a man to
fight.

There aren't many opportunities to go
one -on -one with another man.

There aren't many tests of one's courage
and stamina. You know what I mean?

Do you want to get Mom's slippers or
should I?

I got a better idea. Get your coat.

Alex, you're not throwing me out in the
street, are you?

I saw Nicholas Nickleby. I know what can
happen to kids out there.

Jennifer, relax.

You're going to the poker game with me.
It'll be fun.

Alex, I'm not going.

You have no choice.

Then I'm going.

I'm just going to write a note to Mom
and Dad in case they come home early. I

don't want them to worry about you.

Why would they worry?

I'm obviously in good hands.

Seems about 20 cents.

I'm in.

Listen up, guys.

Is it all right if my sister plays one
hand with us? I dragged her here. She's

tired. She's cranky.

And I think playing just the one hand
will mean a lot to her.

No.

Try, Jennifer.

Dog, it's 45.

Do you?

I fold.

Alex!

Jennifer, the guys don't want you to
play. There's nothing I can do about it.

Neil, do you have any toys she could
play with?

Toys?

Yeah, you know, um... model car, the
doll, some silly putty. I have a

Jennifer, Neil says he can play with his
toaster.

Wow, if he had some bread, it'd be
really fun.

Don't stick a fork in there, kid.

You don't own any forks.

Excuse me, this isn't a restaurant.

This isn't an apartment, either.

Forty -five to you, Neil.

Ah, call.

You're better, Arnie.

I'll call.

I think he's got another king under
there. He's bluffing.

Jennifer.

Sorry.

Why don't you go lie down somewhere?

Yeah, Toledo.

You sure know how to make a person feel
at home.

Just leave us alone, please.

I'll go 50 cents.

Neil, you win her out.

I'm in. I already put in my money. Those
are my quarters.

How do you know they're yours? How do
you know they're not?

How do you see you put it in court?
They're not. Hey, guys, come on. I don't

think Neil would lie about 50 cents.

Thank you, Alex.

A buck, maybe.

I'm in. I'm in, too. I got three keys.

Two pair.

Not so fast, Arnie. Full house, sevens
over jacks. Ooh, nice pot.

Damn. Hey, Arnie, don't be such a poor
loser.

And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't
swear in front of my sister.

Sorry, Alex. Sorry, Jennifer.

Jennifer?

Who's Jennifer, Alex?

What are you talking about? She's right
over there.

Jennifer. Jennifer, quit hiding.

I'm sorry I said what I said, okay?

Jennifer.

Jennifer?

She's not there. She's not there. Where
did she go?

Search me. Here are the cards, Arnie.

She's gone. I don't believe it. Check
and see if the toaster's still here.

Let's go, Alex. Eddie up.

Arnie, my sister is gone. Are you in or
are you out?

I'm out. I'm out. Come on, Alex. You're
the big winner. You can't drop out now.

She's back. She's back. Thank God.

Hi.

Well,

what are you doing here?

We got your note. We thought we'd come
by and pick up Jennifer.

Would you like to sit down, Mrs. Keaton?

Well, if I sit down, I wouldn't want to
get up.

Alex, where is Jennifer?

She's with Jeff and Mallory.

Yeah, they just came by a few minutes
ago to pick her up.

I'm surprised you didn't pass them in
the hall.

Jennifer was fast asleep.

They had to carry her down to the car.
It was really cute, right, guys?

Oh, yeah, adorable. The most darling
thing I've ever seen.

Really, really precious.

Well, okay, then I guess we'll be
getting home. Do you think you'll be

longer, Al? No, no. As a matter of fact,
we were just about to quit, right,

guys? Oh, right, Al.

Well,

I had fun.

Mom, Dad, I'll see you home in a few
minutes, okay? See you next time.

Nice to meet you.

Same here. Bye -bye.

Hey, Alex forgot his money.

Maybe we should try to catch him.

Aren't you going to come in?

Sure, if you want me to.

I do.

Because really, if you think I
shouldn't... I'm in. I'm in.

Alex, we're home!

Jeff, sit.

did you enjoy the movie?

I did. I really did. That's great. Most
people don't enjoy Truffaut the first

time.

Well, I did. And you were able to follow
it in French?

It was in French.

Uh, where's Alex and Jennifer?

Who? Oh, um, I guess they're upstairs.

What's the note?

Oh.

Dear Mom and Dad, everything's fine.
Mallory had a date, so I'm in charge of

Jennifer.

We went to Neil's house.

So, uh, nobody else is home then?

Nope, just you and me.

Maybe I should leave.

I don't think so.

Mallory. I made her do it, Alice. I'm an
animal. I don't think I can leave.

Where's Jennifer?

I thought she was with you. I got caught
up in the moment. I couldn't control

it.

I usually like this, but when I'm around
Mallory, I go crazy. Jeff, calm down.

We've got other problems here.

I lost Jennifer.

I thought you took her to the card game
with you. I did, but while I was

playing, she just wandered off.

Oh, no.

Mom and Dad came to the card game to get
her.

Oh, no.

They're right behind me. I had to drive
in the sidewalk to beat them home.

Maybe Jennifer came home and she's
upstairs sleeping.

I hope you're right.

Oh, look.

I kind of told my parents that Jennifer
was with you.

So I'd appreciate it if you'd... Lie.

That about says it, yeah.

Sure, Alex, if you want me to.

Look, if Jennifer's not home, maybe you
and I should go look for her. We've both

got cars.

Good idea.

Jeff, thank you for your support. I'm
glad you're here.

Not at all.

Not the two I expected to see on the
highway.

Where's Mallory?

Uh, she went upstairs to check on
Jennifer. Hi,

everything okay with Jen? Yeah,
everything's just fine.

Well,

I think I'll go tuck her in. Oh, you
don't need to do that.

I just tucked her in. She's fully
tucked.

So, um, how was your meeting?

Are you guys going to vote for Dale
Lewis?

No way. Boy, was I wrong about him.

Me too. He is great.

Wait a minute. I thought when you left
that Dad was for him and you were

him. What happened?

We heard him speak.

You'll have to excuse us. I'm going to
drive Jeff home.

Good night, Mr. Keaton. Good night. Good
night, Mrs. Keaton.

Bonsoir, Mallory.

Bonsoir, Jeff.

Jeff, I am waiting.

Okay. Wait a minute.

Why are you driving him, Alex? Jeff has
a car.

Well, his battery is a little low. I'm
going to follow behind in case he gets

into trouble.

If you want to go along for the ride and
come back with Alex, it's okay.

Oh, no, thanks. I'm pretty tired.

Well, I'm kind of tired, too. I think
I'll go up to bed. Yeah, me, too. Oh,

wait. What is it?

Oh, nothing.

I was hoping we could talk before you
went upstairs.

I'm awfully tired, honey. Can I wait
till tomorrow?

I guess so.

talked about boys and sex.

And then, the young kangaroo suckling
lives

in its mother's pouch for many months
until it's able to venture out on its

own. I think Mallory knows all that,
even if she wants to talk about men and

women. Oh, no, Mom, it's okay. I think I
understand it better if we start from

the beginning.

Daddy kangaroos don't have pouches.

Alex, where have you been? You've been
gone almost an hour.

Did Jeff have car trouble?

Ah, yes, yes, he did, as a matter of
fact. Tom, has Jennifer woken up yet?

Not yet.

Why should Jennifer wake up?

Alex, is anything wrong?

Oh, yes, yes, it is.

It's kind of a long story. You see, I
didn't want to play Cinderella all night

and dress up in your clothes, Mom. You
know how shy Jeff is. I got the call

about the card game. Chuck has not won a
pot in three years. They offered her

the toast. Alex, what are you talking
about?

I took Jennifer to the card game, and I
lost her.

You lost Jennifer in a card game?

She disappeared from the apartment.

What? You don't know where she is?

We figured she came home. I didn't...
Okay, I'm calling the police. Elise,

Chrissy's house and see if she went
there. Alex, call Neil's and see if she

back.

Stephen, we've only got one phone.

Alex, go next door to Mrs. Obex. Use her
phone. I'll go to the bathroom.

Jennifer, baby, are you okay?

I'm fine, I'm fine.

Just a little tired. Where have you
been? I was worried sick about you.

Yeah, yeah, I'll bet.

Where were you?

I took the bus.

I was with someone lonelier than me.

The bus driver.

By the way, he's coming over next
Thursday night for dinner.

That's okay, Sam. You can go now.

Bye.

Jennifer, you cannot just walk away like
that. We were scared to death.

Honey, honey, you've never been in the
way.

Alex and Mallory won't get off so easy.

Don't be too hard on them, Dad.

I'm just a little sister.

Why should I expect anybody to want to
spend time with me?

Hi.

Mom said you'd see us now. Can we come
in?

Sure. Thanks.

Wait a minute. Why would we want you to
leave?

Well, you never seem to want me around
lately.

Come on, Jennifer. That's not true.

It isn't, huh? Is that why you dumped me
for Jeff?

Jennifer. Hey, Mallory didn't mean... At
least you dumped me for a nice guy,

Alex. You dumped me for a group of
winos.

Yeah, Alex.

Wait a minute. Whose side are you on? On
the other hand, Mallory, you hurt me

even more.

I don't expect anything from Alex.

Yeah, Mallory. Wait, wait.

What do you mean you don't expect
anything of me? Are you saying that I

neglected you?

Alex, the only time you talk to me is
when you want me to leave the room or

need some money.

How can you say that?

Remember this morning? I talked to you.
I talked to you. I passed you in the

hall. I said, uh, hey, how you doing?

Look, Jennifer, I don't know if it'll
make you feel any better, but we're

grounded. How long?

Let's put it this way.

You'll be driving before we will.

Look, I don't know why you guys are
here. You don't care about me.

It's always you're too young for this,
Jennifer, or we can't go because of you,

Jennifer.

I'm not a person.

I'm a little sister.

Jennifer, we don't really treat you like
that.

Yes, you do.

You guys are always so busy.

You never have time for me.

Alex, you're busy with your work, your
clubs, your school.

Mallory, you're busy with your boys
and... What else do you do?

It's just because we're older, Jennifer.

When you get to be our age, you'll be
busy too.

I'll never be your age.

I'll always be younger.

No matter what I do, you guys will
always get to do it first.

Well, that's true, Jennifer, but there
are a lot of advantages to being the

youngest. Like what?

Well, for one thing, Mallory and I have
worn Mom and Dad down. We've broken them

in. We've trained them.

By the time you get to be our age,
you'll be running this place.

That is something to look forward to,
but what am I supposed to do between now

and then?

Try and make it more fun for you, Jen.

Will you guys let me get in trouble with
you more often?

Sure we will.

Will you take all the blame when we do?

We always do.

I know.

That's my favorite part of being a
little sister.

You know, Jennifer, when we didn't know
where you were, we were really worried

about you.

You mean it?

There was a moment there when I realized
what it would be like.

If you weren't around, then I didn't
like the idea.

For one thing, I'd be stuck here alone
with Mallory.

We love you, Jennifer.

Sometimes we forget to say it, but we
do.

You too, Al?

Me too.

Just want to count heads.

One, two, three. All present and
accounted for.

Next count will be at 0100 hours.

You don't have to do that anymore, Dad.
I'm not going to run away again.

Yeah, we'll keep her happy. We'll make
sure she gets out every now and then.

We'll feed her, keep her clean.

No child could ask for more.

At least now we're aware of how Jennifer
feels.

Maybe something good has come out of
tonight after all.

That's true.

Today has been a very positive
experience. I mean, things we've

it, Alex.

We're still in big trouble.

Jennifer?

I know you feel that sometimes you get
lost in the shuffle.

That's wrong.

We should watch out for that.

But even if that happens, please
remember that we love you. We don't mean

take you for granted.

If I've taken anyone here for granted in
the past six months, I apologize.

I accept.

And hey, I'm not totally blameless here.

Don't be so rough on yourself, Alex.

No, no, I mean it.

Sometimes... I'm not as sensitive to all
of you as I could be.

No.

And sometimes I'm a little too self
-centered.

No.

Well, I'm glad I got that off my chest.

It was a real catharsis that one.

I'm drained.

Well, come on, Jennifer. What do you
want to do tonight? You name it, I'm

guy. You want to play all -star
baseball?

Nope.

Clue?

What do you want to do?

You know what I want to play?

I'll go get Mommy's slippers.

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.