All language subtitles for Family Ties s01e17 French Lessons

I bet we've been together for a million
years.

And I bet we'll be together for a
million more.

Oh, it's like I started breathing on the
night we did.

And I can't remember what I ever did
before.

What would we do, baby, without us?

What would we do?

What do you say, Alex? Up for a game of
chess?

I don't really think I want to play
that.

Well, no offense, but it's not much of a
challenge for me. Oh, it doesn't matter

who wins.

I just thought it'd be nice to spend a
little time together.

I'm going to beat you this time.

Dad, I'm 138 -0 against you.

138 -0 -1.

You're forgetting that time we played to
a draw.

Dad, I had my appendix out that day.

The anesthetic had worn off.

All right, Dad, all right, where do you
want to play?

Anywhere, Alex, you pick.

Good. Let's play in my room, then. That
way I can nap while you're thinking of

your moves.

We'll see you bring us closer together
already.

Does anybody need anything else from the
kitchen? It's closing.

I thought the kitchen stayed open till
10.

Jeff's coming over to tutor me, and
we're going to be studying in there.

Oh, yeah. How is the French coming, Mel?

All right, I guess.

Uh -oh. You don't sound very
enthusiastic.

Well, it's just that I'm not getting
anywhere.

What do you mean? You've gone from a C -
to a B in French since Jeff's been

tutoring you.

She meant she's not getting anywhere
with Jeff.

Jennifer?

Come on, Mal. It's no secret how you
feel about Jeff.

Not anymore.

Mallory, where are your priorities? Now,
we hired Jeff to help raise your grade

in French, remember?

We've accomplished that, Mom. It's time
to move on.

You can't force it, Mallory.

Either the chemistry's there or it's
not.

It's just a certain je ne sais quoi.

Last week when you were doing your
idiom.

Were you eavesdropping?

I always do when you have a boy over.

I can't figure it out.

I think he likes me. We laugh, we have a
good time together.

But whenever we talk too long about
anything other than French, he freezes

Jeff's a little shy, honey. Actually, I
think it's cute.

Shouldn't he be here by now?

I'm usually eavesdropping by this time.

Yeah, you're right. It's not like him to
be so late.

I don't know. I didn't try it yet.

I heard voices inside, and I didn't want
to interrupt.

You have your work cut out for you,
Mallory.

Uh, je suis, tu es, il est, nous est.

I don't know. I'm always having trouble
with these irregular verbs.

You just have to memorize them, Mallory.
It's just like in English.

I am, you are, he or she is.

Well, I know it in English.

Hey, you've got a knack for languages.

He's got a really good sense of humor.

Oh, sorry.

Getting back to conjugates.

So how'd you get to be so good in
French?

I lived in Paris for five years as a
kid.

My parents were really mad.

Actually, my dad was in the Foreign
Service.

Oh, why didn't you ever tell me that?

You never asked me.

You're right. When we first met, I
should have said, nice to meet you. Was

dad ever in the Foreign Service?

Yes, he was.

What do you do when you're not tutoring
me?

I go to school.

I know. We go to the same school.

I meant personally. Do you have any
sports you like? Any hobbies?

Any girlfriends?

Yes. What's her name?

No, I meant sports.

I play hockey.

Oh, I love hockey. Maybe we could play
doubles sometime.

Yeah, that'd be great.

How about you?

Any hobbies?

Any other sports you like? Any
girlfriends? I mean, boyfriends?

No. Great!

I mean, I'm surprised.

A girl like you? No hobbies?

No boyfriends?

So neither of us has any sports or
hobbies or boyfriend, girlfriend.

Except for hockey. Right.

Well, I guess that's about enough for
today.

Oh, it is? I was hoping we could go
further.

I'll just go out the back.

That way I won't bother anybody.

So I guess I'll see you tomorrow.

I guess you will.

Au revoir.

Au revoir.

Jeff gone already? Yeah.

So, Mallory, what happened?

There's some stuff I couldn't hear.

Nothing happened.

Just when he starts to let down his
guard and break the ice, he freezes up

again. Why don't you just throw yourself
at him and get it over with?

Jennifer, would you stay out of my
personal life?

I'm trying to make sure you have one.

Honey, girls don't have to be afraid of
letting boys know how they feel now.

These are the 1980s. What did girls do
back then when you were a kid, back in

the 1880s?

Actually, it wasn't all that easy for us
when I was a girl. I mean, if you were

interested in a boy, sometimes you just
had to wait until he asked you out. What

if he never asked?

Then you called your girlfriend and you
set each other's hair.

I mean, if you liked a boy and he never
asked you out, there's nothing you could

do about it, right?

Oh, yeah, there were some silly scheming
things there that some other girls used

to do to attract guys' attention.

Like what?

Oh, you know, stupid things like you get
to ask a friend to call his friend or

write your name in his notebook or maybe
put your picture in his locker. Or if

you really like the guy, you try to get
your parents to buy the house next door

to his.

Tell me, Mom.

Did you write your name on the inside of
the notebook or on the cover?

Well, you know what I used to do? Yeah.

Mallory, you're missing the point.

Things are much simpler now.

And if you're really interested in Jeff,
wouldn't you just ask him out?

I guess you're right.

Sorry to bother you. I forgot my book.

I could come back for it another time if
it's more convenient.

Jeff, come on in.

Mallory has something to ask you.

Uh, yeah.

Do you know if the house next year's is
up for sale?

Are you gonna make a move for your dad
or what? Don't rush me, Alex.

These things take time.

It's been a day and a half, Dad.

I think you could at least make your
opening move.

opening move is perhaps the most
important of the game, Alex.

It sets the tone for the entire contest.

Well, whenever you're ready, but
remember,

I leave for college in September.

Okay.

Okay.

I'll wait here while you're mulling
the...

Bonjour, Jeff.

Bonjour, Mallory.

Hey, Jeff.

Hello.

I guess we better leave you two alone to
study and whatever else comes to your

mind.

Huh?

Well, I hate to kick you out of your own
living room.

Don't worry about it. We could use it
any time.

Come on, Alex and Dad.

Huh? So come on in.

Thank you.

Can I get you anything? Something cold
to drink?

That would be nice, if it's not too much
trouble.

Oh, no trouble at all.

Make yourself at home.

My dad forgot his book.

Alex, can I ask you something?

I was wondering if your sister
Mallory... She likes you, Jeff.

She does?

That's great.

So what are you waiting for?

Why don't you ask her out?

I'm afraid. What if she says no? She
won't. What if she says yes?

Then you go out with her.

That's even scarier.

What if she doesn't like me?

Jeff, I already told you, she likes you.
She likes me as a tutor.

But what if she doesn't like me as a
date?

How are you going to know unless you go
out?

Here's some juice, Jeff. I squeezed the
oranges myself.

That is a very nice thing to do for
someone, Mallory.

I'm sure he appreciates it.

Yeah, I really do.

May I squeeze something for you?

Thank you very much.

Well, uh, my work here is done.

Mallory, before I drink this, I have to
ask you something.

There are no pits in it.

That's great, but that's not what I
wanted to ask.

Wait, there's something I have to ask
you first.

Will you go out with me? No, will you go
out with me? Yes.

Great.

There's something else I have to ask
you. What?

Why'd you just say no when I asked you
to go out with me?

Did I say no? I meant yes.

Great.

Mallory, when you said yes... I meant
yes.

Now's time!

Alex,

do you mind?

Sorry, Dad.

I didn't realize. I was kind of caught
up in this article.

Another thing, I may not be Boris
Spassky, but I think you owe me the

of at least looking at the board from
time to time, even though it is my move.

Dad, it's been your move for an hour and
a half. Well, I'm ready now.

Well, good.

Whoa.

Alex? Oh, sorry, Dad.

Oh, Alex, I see you wormed your way out
of that one.

Didn't see that.

Well,

listen, I'll go studying at some place
where it's a little more quiet.

I don't know how anybody's supposed to
play chess with all that racket going

Come on in.

Hello, Alec.

Hi, Jeff.

You're a little early for your date,
aren't you?

Yeah, yeah, I am early.

I was hoping to find you here alone.

You've got to talk to Mallory for me,
Alex.

I can't go through with it. I can't go
on the date.

Jeff, you'll be fine. I won't be fine.

I'm too nervous.

I've gone over this date in my mind a
hundred times.

There are only four times where I didn't
spill something.

You'll be all right. Just, uh, don't
order anything to drink.

Alex, the problem is more pervasive than
that.

I should not be going out with Mallory
Keaton.

She's beautiful.

She's graceful.

She looks gorgeous in a dress.

All the things I'm not.

Let's be thankful for some of that, Jim.

I can't go through with it, Alex.

Just tell her I'm sorry.

Hey, wait. I'm not telling her that.

I mean, she's getting ready.

You're here.

You should go out on a date.

How?

Haven't you even been on a date before?

Sure. I went out with Betty Bronson last
week.

Sounds good.

Betty's my cousin.

Okay, okay, it's not ideal, but the same
basic rules apply.

Just follow this advice, you're
guaranteed success on a date.

Really? Really.

You see, luckily, all women are exactly
the same.

They are?

Sure. See, I know you read a lot today
in magazines and newspapers about the

woman and independence.

Assertiveness. Why, it's simply not
true.

Not? No.

Surprise, huh?

A little.

See, all you have to do to ensure
success on a date is to assume total

command from the minute the female
appears.

See, you are the man.

You're in control.

You make that moment.

Okay, Alex, I'll do it.

On one condition.

What? You've got to come, too.

A guy, a girl, and a brother are not
what we're shooting for here, Jackson.

I need you there, Alex.

You don't have to sit with us. Just be
somewhere in the restaurant.

That way, if I run into trouble, I can
come to you.

I don't know. It's going to look pretty
silly, isn't it? I mean, me sitting at a

table by myself.

Bring a date.

You can get a date on short notice,
can't you?

Me?

Of course.

Well, okay, then.

Okay.

Hi, Regina.

Yeah, it's me, your cousin Alex.

Hurry up, please.

I'm here, I'm here. Where are we going
to sit?

I don't know. The, uh, made her deal,
Cetus.

Okay, but don't let him put us near the
kitchen like last time.

Hey, that wasn't my fault.

Why do we have to fight every time we go
out?

Table for two?

Something romantic.

Small world.

Excuse me for a second.

Alex, what took you so long? I've been
trying to stall until you got here.

Well, it took me a while to convince
Jennifer to come.

I'm here for the pizza, not the company.

How's it going so far?

Terrible.

Well, what's wrong?

Well, we've been talking about the
weather for the last 20 minutes.

And that's been the highlight.

Okay. Okay.

I'm here.

Everything is under control.

Have you ordered yet?

Not yet.

This is good.

Okay. First thing you do, order for both
of you. Don't even ask her what she

wants. Just order.

And when the waiter comes, insult him.
It'll impress her.

Are you sure?

I'm all right.

What are they doing here?

Oh, just out for a good time, I guess.

Are you ready to order?

Yes, I think I'll have... She'll have
the veal parmesan.

In fact, we'll both have the veal. Veal
for two, and step on it.

Not the veal.

Something to drink?

Um, a root beer, please. Ginger ale,
two.

Jeff, that was incredibly rude, not to
mention the fact I wanted a root beer.

You didn't like it?

No.

Excuse me.

Alex, we're getting the pizza with
bologna, and that's final.

Okay, okay, Jennifer, don't make a
scene.

Alex, it's not working out.

Why, what's wrong?

I insulted the waiter.

I ordered for the two of us, just like
you said.

And? She didn't like it.

She liked it.

Jeff, believe me, underneath...

She liked it.

Alex, I can't be like you.

Suave and cool.

That's not me.

That's not Alex either.

Just go back to the table and start
flattering.

Tell her that her hair is like fine spun
silk corn. That her eyes are like

shimmering pools of beauty.

I'm going to be thick.

All right.

I'll try that.

Why do you keep going over to Alex?

Mallory, your eyes are like shimmering
pools of corn.

What?

I wanted a root beer, not a ginger ale.

Just trust me. I know what's good. I
don't want this, Jeff. I don't want the

veal. You'll like it.

Okay. Yeah. Let me get that.

It's still edible. It didn't hit the
floor.

Okay.

Okay.

Now I see what he's been doing. Very
clever, really.

You see, Alex has been using the
Nimzowich defense, Elise.

But it's easily countered with the
Sicilian variation of the King's Gambit

Decline.

Don't you think Alex knows that?

Knows what?

Well, I mean, isn't it possible that the
King's Gambit Decline is exactly what

Alex expects you to do?

I mean, after all, it's his book.

The fiend.

Hi, Mallory. How was your date?

It was fine.

You're home early, aren't you?

Something tells me she and Jeff didn't
get engaged.

Jeff. Hello, Mrs. Keaton. Can I come in?
Of course. Come on in.

What happened?

I'm not sure exactly.

When Mallory left, she was really upset.

I was hoping she was feeling better now.

What went wrong?

I don't know.

We were at the restaurant.

We couldn't think of anything to talk
about.

I ordered something for her that she
didn't want. I insulted the waiter. I

spilled drinks, food.

I ruined her dress. Next thing I know,
she was gone.

Sounds like you did all the right
things.

I wanted so badly for this to be a
special night.

I even got Alex to come to the
restaurant to help me.

Uh -huh. Now we're... getting somewhere.

Why did you ask Alex to help?

Well, you know, I'm not real good with
women, and Alex is.

Who told you that?

Alex.

He said that Mallory would like me if I
were more like him.

Now I know why she ran out.

Alex, it didn't work.

Everything you told me was wrong.

Always assume that's the case with Alex.

All right, maybe I was wrong.

I gave you some advice and it didn't
work out.

I didn't charge you for it, did I?

It's not like you're out any money.

That's the important thing.

Oh, hi.

Hi. I don't suppose you want to talk, do
you?

I want you to explain to me why you
acted like Alex instead of you.

Why don't we leave these two alone to
talk?

Good idea.

Jeff, if you want my advice... Whatever
you do, don't apologize.

You're the man.

Mallory, I'm sorry.

For the rudeness, or for the spilling,
or for the general boorish manner.

I don't know.

What offended you the most?

Why were you acting like that, Jeff?
That's not like you at all.

I thought you wanted me to be tough, and
in control, and in command.

I thought you'd like that in a guy.

I like that in an airline pilot, not a
date.

I don't want you to be like that.

Okay. I'll be however you want me to be.

You don't like tough and boorish? I can
be something else.

Jeff, don't you realize?

I went out with you because I like you.

You're the guy I wanted to be with.

Really? Yeah.

But, Mallory, I'm clumsy.

I'm awkward.

I can't help it. I like you.

Do you think you still might be able to
like me after tonight?

Je ne sais, but I'm willing to give it a
try.

Je ne sais pas.

You forgot the pas.

You think with a negative, you have to
put the... Jeff. What?

Shut up.

Want to give up, Dad?

Give up? Are you kidding?

Dad, can't we go to bed? I'm tired.

I hate to put a damper on this, honey,
but the kids do have to go to school

tomorrow. Or is that today?

Come on, Dad, I'm tired of this game.

You're just prolonging your own agony.

Not to mention the agony of your family.

All right, Alec, night to clean night.

Checkmate.

Yeah!

Sit, Ubu, sit.

Good dog.