All language subtitles for heartbeat_s14e03_fakers_and_frauds

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby
kisses me?

Heartbeat, why does a love chip stay in
my memory?

Sunny days chase the night.

Waiting for the dawn.

Now the season is rapidly changing.

It's alive and warm.

You know, if this weekend's a success,
David, we could be on a winner here.

There's no end of courses we could run
from here.

bookbinding, embroidery.

Lord Ashfordly's certainly keen.

Now, remember, these are artists,
sensitive people.

They might need a bit of mollycoddling.

Welcome to Ashfordly Hall.

I'm Vernon Scripps, meritorious director
of studies.

Douglas Taylor.

Ah. And this is my wife Celia. Oh,
charmed, I'm sure.

David Baggs, if you wouldn't mind.

Come this way.

Oh, no need to exert yourself, young
man. We'll handle all that.

Now, if you'd like to follow David to
the east wing, all your rooms are ready,

all with breath. taking views.

Um, lead on, David.

I hope you're going to keep this lot
under control, Chris.

Oh, you'll have no trouble with us,
Charles.

These people are all here to paint the
grounds, not to abuse them. I'm glad to

hear it.

You know, although it almost pains me to
say it, this just might be one of your

better ideas.

Oh. Glad you approve.

Good

morning. Can I

help you at all?

The name's Proctor.

I have a booking.

Oh, yes, Mr. Proctor, of course.

Welcome to the Agents' Field Arms.

Help you with your bags.

Oh, yeah.

You're meant to be taking it easy.

Gina, I'm perfectly all right. Just stop
fussing, will you?

You don't sound from round these parts.

You up here on business, are you?

Bird watching.

Bird watching.

Well, you've certainly come to the right
place.

Plenty of birds to be seen round here.

Well, here we are, sir.

Will you be staying long?

Depends if I spot anything interesting.

We were very fortunate to procure his
services.

Apparently he's been commissioned to do
a portrait of the Queen.

And I'm told, on very good authority,
that he's a very big noise in Rome.

I've never heard of him.

Now, why doesn't that surprise me?

Lorenzo! We meet at last.

Vernon Scripps.

You all right there, pal?

He said he was Italian.

Scottish -Italian. My parents came over
before the war, selling the ice cream,

do you know?

Ah.

Well, your students await, maestro.

Not too late, am I? Oh, I'm afraid we're
closed.

I was hoping to buy a map.

All right, go on, then.

Thanks very much.

There you go.

Landing on a spot of sightseeing, are
we?

Something like that.

Anyway, Pablo said to me, Laurie, my
dear pal, true art comes not

from here, but from here.

I've never forgotten that.

And it is my fervent hope... that by the
end of this weekend, you too will

understand exactly what... Very true,
very

true. Now, of course, Lorenzo will be on
hand throughout to advise on matters

artistic. Now, I'm sure you're all
ravenous after your long journey, so

stand on ceremony. Get stuck in.

A cup of tea? You aren't even stronger.

Vincent, behave.

No, sorry.

Take your notice.

Thank you.

He often gets a little overexcited on
such occasions.

Wonderful place.

I understand Turner was once a guest
here.

I'm sorry, I don't know any of Lord
Ashfordly's friends.

Oh, a cup of tea. Thank you.

Sugar?

No, thank you, we don't. Speak for
yourself, Jodie.

I am hoping that Lord Ashfordly will
allow us a glimpse at his own

collection as an inspiration.

Now, is the spread to your liking?

You know, Gina is a dab hand at all
things continental, especially the pizza

the wriggly Tony.

You can answer that.

Coffee break.

I beg your pardon?

All union members are entitled to 15
minutes coffee break each morning.

Another two minutes. Sorry, sir. For
Pete's sake.

Asfordly Police Station.

Speaking.

Yeah. Who was this?

Right, don't touch a thing. I'll get
someone over right away.

Walker, don't bother taking your jacket
off.

I want you down to the garage in
Aidensfield.

That was Bernie.

Panda car's been stolen.

What?

Ruddy cheek.

This is where they got in.

Did you notice anyone hanging around?

Now that you mention it, there was a
chap at locking up time.

Do you know who?

One who was staying at the pub.

Er, no, Mrs Fry, I'm still here.

Look, don't worry.

Just take your time.

There's been a burglary at 12 Darrington
Drive. She sounds in a bit of a state.

I'll deal with it.

Just a moment.

Er, she thinks she knows who did it,
Phil.

How? Now, you're absolutely sure about
this?

I see.

She reckons it was one of our lads in a
panda car.

Morning, Gina. Hey, Rob.

Any luck with the stolen car yet? Oh,
early days.

Well, it's a bit close to home. I like
him.

I don't suppose you're Oscars or
anything?

No. You might ask him, though.

His room's right on the road.

Owen, you can take this with you while
you're at it.

Now that's what I call service.

We aim to please.

I was hoping to ask you a few questions,
Mr... Proctor.

Is something wrong?

A police car was stolen from the garage
opposite last night.

I was wondering whether you might have
seen anything or heard anything.

Afraid not, no.

I was out bird -watching until late.

It's a hobby of mine.

Where was this?

Just in the woods at the back here.

Right. And you saw nothing when you
returned?

Sorry. No.

How long will you be staying in
Aidensfield?

I'm here for the weekend.

If you need to speak to me again, you'll
find me here.

OK. Well, thanks for your help.

Mrs Fry!

Are you in there?

Mrs Fry!

Who is it?

It's the police.

That's what the last fella said.

Here.

You best come in.

Thank you.

I kept it in here.

Have done for years.

And you showed him?

Well, he said he was a policeman.

He looked like one. He had a whistle and
everything.

Checking the residence security
arrangements. He looked at all the locks

then when he'd finished poking about, he
shot off in his car.

Blue light on the top.

Nice clean one it was.

Was there anything else, Mickon, apart
from the pension money?

My Alex watch.

It was an anniversary present. I feel
such an idiot.

Hey.

Look, could you give us a description of
him?

Chiroscuro.

Now, here we have another fine example
of portraiture, a late 18th century

painting of my great -great -great
-grandfather, Hezekiah.

He looks very wise, your great -great
-great -great -great.

Yes, and a prominent missionary in his
day.

What do you reckon it's worth?

To the family, of course, it's
priceless, if only for sentimental

see, sadly, Hezekiah was eaten by his
parishioners.

And moving along, we have here his widow
Millicent.

Plain as a pikestaff, but a heart of
gold, so I'm told.

Now, if you don't care to follow me
through into the dining room... I do

apologise for my nephew.

I had hoped bringing him along this
weekend might educate him somewhat. A

culture, mingling with like -minded
creative types, like yourself.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Modesty is a virtue I greatly admire in
a man.

Oh, not really.

Tell me.

How do you find it, working with
gouache?

I don't.

I work with Mr Vernon.

Another burglary, Sarge. A Mr Thornton
who lives up on Green Quarter.

He lost his wife last year. It looks
like it could have been the same fella.

Now, here we have a real treasure.

The treasure.

Two lovers in each other's arms,
reputedly a self -portrait of the

himself and his model, with whom it is
believed he was having an adulterous

liaison.

Sadly, it's soon to be sold off at
auction. Such are the sacrifices one has

make in order to keep a roof over one's
head.

Cash flow can be a nightmare.

Go nicely on the pathway, Eddie.

There's no doubt it's him. It's the same
M .O.

Who was taken?

Jewellery, carriage, clock, small items.

Did you get a description?

Glasses, brown hair, local accent.

Hold on. According to Mrs Fry, he had a
Liverpool accent.

So there might be more than one of them.

Well, Mr Thornton did remember a
shoulder number.

Well, that's something.

123.

Well, that sounds a bit low for the
North Riding.

Keep recruiting at headquarters a call.
See if that number's been issued.

What bothers me is why anyone would take
the risk of stealing a police car just

to carry out a few minor burglaries.

It's not as if anything that's been
stolen is of immense value.

Not yet.

All right, you'd better warn people to
be on their guard.

Pensioners especially.

I'll pop a notice in the village.

And, Walker, try not to start a mass
panic, eh? Thank you.

Thanks very much.

Well? Just as I thought, the numbers
never existed.

Could it come from a costume hire shop?

Or the theatre? I mean, would it?

Then what are you waiting for?

Ah, Mr Proctor.

Have you spotted anything interesting?

Owls.

Oh, really?

Tawny owls. Ah, the Nictia scandiaca.

Quite.

Just had one, yeah?

Do you like it?

David, what on earth's the matter?

It's that woman, Mrs. Glanister.

She keeps looking at me.

You know, I think she wants to... What?

Well, she keeps winking.

Well, she's probably just got something
in her eye.

No.

Well, look, just think of it as a public
relations exercise.

What? It's not unusual for this sort of
people to leave a very substantial tip

at the end of the weekend if they feel
they've been looked after properly.

Eh?

Ah, Lorenzo, here.

Let me give you a hand with that. We
don't want you straining anything, do

Must be here somewhere.

I hung it up myself.

Who are you?

They see Bellamy.

Oh, just in time. Get your clothes off,
darling. As quick as you can. You'll

just have to wear yours.

Oh, don't be shy. I've seen it all
before.

Ashfordly Police Station.

Which thing's that?

No, you don't understand. Look, the
director's already been going up the

and he's due on any minute.

Ashfordly. That's where I'm from.

Oh. Mr. Meadows, you are off.

You'll have to go on in your underpants,
love.

Don't worry.

No one will notice.

Oh, things are complete far.

I take it from that you're missing a
uniform.

This was its anger.

It's just been pressed as well.

Well, is there anything else missing?

Well, now you come to mention it, we are
a couple of weeks short.

Plus, Trish's got thigh burns, of
course.

Hey, if you played your cards right,
Phil, you could have had your name in

I've always fancied being famous, me.
What, and have your every move splashed

across the papers?

No, thank you.

Bellamy drinks pint, then asks scrambled
egg for tea.

Can't see you making headlines.

You're very funny.

Now, the trouble is, anybody could have
walked into that theatre.

Well, whoever it is, I hope you find him
soon. I don't want it to affect my

business. Well, the barrel needs
changing.

Should you really be doing that, Oscar?

Jenny, I'm fine.

I wish people would stop fussing. Oh,
it's a waste of time talking to him,

Oscar knows best.

She has got a point, though, Oscar.

Oh, don't you start.

Yes, well, of course, this is hopefully
the first of many such courses that

we'll be running.

A couple of bottles of your finest
chianti, please, Gina.

I hope you approve.

Of course.

And I'll have a wee dram for afters.

And a whiskey, please.

Of course, my ultimate ambition...

is to turn Aidensfield into the cultural
centre of the North by converting the

mills and barns into galleries and
studios, creating a hotbed of talent.

I'd also like to have a chat sometime
about another idea of mine, to put a

statue on the moors.

Something modern and uplifting, like an
angel. Or a bird.

A giant pigeon.

Where's David gone?

Not hiding, are you?

Just wanted to pick your brains.

What about?

Frottage.

Is that another one of your friends?

The trouble is, I don't know where to
stop.

I mean, one can go on rubbing away till
the cows come home.

Don't you find?

Still no leads, then?

Well, not to speak of.

Descriptions vary so much. It could be
anyone from Bobby Charlton to the Pope.

Could be someone in here, for all we
know.

Hey, I've got my own theory.

Oh, I?

You see him over there?

The bird watcher?

That's what he claims to be.

He doesn't know the difference between a
flamingo and a woodpecker, if you ask

me. He certainly doesn't know Latin.

which is one of the few things I do
remember from school.

I had a word with him the other day. He
seemed genuine.

Just ask him where he was last night.

I completely disagree with you. Look,
you'll just have to trust me on this.

Good evening.

Evening. Maybe the constable has an
opinion.

On what?

The greatest artist of all time, she
says.

Rembrandt, I say Caravaggio. I really
wouldn't know.

Surely the Sistine Chapel must be
considered one of the wonders of the

along with Papa's vanilla tubs, of
course.

Vincent, where are you off to? Get some
fresh air, if that's all right. What's

going on? Oh, yeah.

Get off!

Just break it up! Calm down, you're in a
public place, you two.

You trying to kill yourself or what?
Gina, I'm fine. There's nothing wrong

me. We were only talking.

I know your sort.

Go on, hop it. You've got a belt you
want. All right, that's enough.

Now, if it's a problem, I'm sure it can
be sorted out in a civilised fashion.

Thanks, Rob.

Don't worry.

I'm going.

Before you do go, Mr Proctor, I'd like
to ask you a question.

Yeah, my throat is dry.

My knees are weak.

It's cold and hot. I can't even feet
walk in my shadow.

I can't take it anymore.

When I get you in the shadows, I'm going
to show you what it's for.

Whoever was responsible used enough
explosives to blow up the Houses of

Parliament.

Well, if it is the same man, he's
certainly getting brave.

Look, I left his tool bag.

You get it off to CID to dust the
fingerprints.

I'll go to the hospital, see what we can
get out of Mr Hinton.

I heard what happened. I thought I'd
drop in as I was on my rounds.

How is he?

Stable.

I understand it could have been a lot
worse, though.

The door took most of the blast.

I'm sure Mr Hinton will tell you this
himself when he wakens up, but he

mentioned a policeman earlier.

Drop by at the shop?

Checking security arrangements, no
doubt.

You're a bogus officer?

Sounds like it.

He what?

He showed him the safe.

Well, people never learn.

Did you not see the notices posted all
over the place?

Mr Hinton did say the officer looked
particularly credible.

If Hinton had walked into that shop a
few seconds earlier, we'd be dealing

a fatality here.

That was the vision. They're sending
over another car.

Good. Tell them I need more men as well.

Bellamy, Walker.

One year knocking on every door in the
area. Somebody must have seen something.

I'm sure she'll be here in a minute.

What's she like, then, this lass?

She's a professional life model.

Is she going to be stark as then?

Vincent! That is the general idea, yes.

Artists throughout the centuries...

have been inspired by the female form.

Where's David?

He wasn't pleasant enough when he asked
for the map.

I saw him again last night, creeping in
late.

Maybe you should talk to him.

Oh, well, if you and Walker won't
listen, there's something very odd about

bloke, I'm telling you.

I'll tell you something odd.

Sugar. Now, that's odd.

Sugar.

Yeah.

I'll bet you know how many lumps Mrs
Ventress has in a cup of tea.

Yes, three.

She's on a diet at the moment.

Exactly. Now, you're married.

Well, I hope so. I paid the vicar.

What are you going on about?

Well, there's this couple on the
painting course that I'm doing, the

Now, they're supposed to be married and
everything, but they don't know tiddly

-pop about each other. Now, that's what
I call odd. Tiddly -pop. I see.

Do you?

Well, I'm glad somebody does.

Oh, there you are, David.

We've got a problem.

That makes a change.

The life model is stuck on a train
somewhere outside of Hugglesby.

They're all waiting.

Pencils poised.

What are you looking at me for?

No! Ain't nobody here but us chickens.

There ain't nobody here at all.

So calm yourself and stop that fuss.

There ain't nobody here but us. We
chickens trying to sleep and you butt in

hobble, hobble, hobble, hobble with your
chin.

There ain't nobody here but us chickens.

There ain't nobody here at all.

You're stomping around and shaking the
ground.

You're kicking up an awful dust.

We chickens trying to sleep, and you
butt in.

And hobble, hobble, hobble, hobble, it's
a sin.

Not exactly, Adonis, but I am extremely
grateful to David for stepping into

the breach and bearing all.

Well, almost all. You'll have to imagine
the rest.

Fifty -fifty?

You have my word.

Shall we say two hours?

still as you can, David.

Is he in?

He's due back any minute now. But I warn
you, he's not in a good mood.

What can we do for you, Oscar?

Well, it's more a case, I think, of what
I can do for you.

I think we'd better call it a day, don't
you, Lorenzo?

Let me.

Oh.

Oh. Mother always had very poor
circulation.

Any better?

Mm -hmm. Yeah.

won't find me too forward.

But I wonder if you'd like to join me
for a spot of dinner.

Shall we say tonight?

Nine o 'clock?

What? What?

As opposed to Strix Aluco, that's the
tawny owl.

I'm afraid I don't follow.

Well, he clearly doesn't know his
species.

Well, neither do I. It doesn't make me a
thief.

Well, call it an old -fashioned hunch.

I may be retired, but I still get them.

Occasionally. Well, maybe you should
leave this one to us.

Jenny tells me you've been overdoing
things lately.

Oh, don't you start.

I can't lift a finger around here these
days without somebody butting in. Maybe

it's because we care.

Don't you worry. I'm as fit as a
butcher's dog.

Walker.

This chap's staying at the Edensfield
Arms.

I've spoke to him already, Sarge. When?

Twice. Why didn't you tell me?

There's nothing to tell.

He's up here on holiday.

Plus, he's got an alibi for the second
break -in.

has he?

He was in Whitby last night.

Well, Oscar seems to think there's more
to this fellow than meets the eye.

And for once, I'm inclined to agree.

Maybe Bellamy should interview him
again.

Properly. And in future, I'd like to be
kept informed of your investigations.

You best carry on looking for that car.

There must be some way out of here.

Said the joker to the thief.

There's too much confusion.

I can't get no relief.

Businessmen, they drink my wine.

Clown men dig my earth.

None of them along the line.

Delta Alpha 3 -6 to Control.

I've spotted the suspect climbing a
fence onto the Ashfordly estate.

I think he's heading up towards the
house.

Control to Delta Alpha 3 -6. Follow him.
Try and find out what he's up to. Out.

Ashfordly Police Station.

Oh, er, just a moment.

Sarge, it's division for you.

I'll take that in my office.

Finally, the fingerprints on that bag
match those of a known criminal, Kenneth

Stonely. Pointed for a string of thefts
all over the country. Division are

sending over a photo fit.

Well, it should be much easier to find
him now, then.

I wouldn't be too sure.

According to Shiner, this Stonely is a
master of disguise, which accounts for

the different descriptions.

Well, how come, if he's such a genius,
he managed to blow up nearly half of

Aidensfield because he couldn't get a
safe door off?

Go ahead, Phil.

I've lost Proctor. I was watching an
auctioneer's van outside the hall that

disappeared.

Get a hold of Walker and send him over
there. We can't afford to let this one

slip through the net.

Rock and roll band.

Talk to sleep and on and on down there.
There's no place for us to find it.

I'm at the Gilthwaite Mill on the
Ashfordly Estate.

I think I may have found where they've
been keeping the car.

Sarge? I've found some number plates.

Must be in the den. Can you hear me?

Sarge? Walker, repeat.

Over. It looks like they were planning
something.

Planning what? Over.

Over at Ashfordly Hall.

Yes.

A statue. What statue?

Are you receiving? Over.

Sarge, I'm sure I read something in the
paper about Lord Ashfordly selling some

artwork.

The auctioneer's lorry.

That must be where they're after.

Walker. Sarge. Get down to the hall as
fast as you can.

Whatever happens, we must stop the
auctioneer's lorry.

Sarge wants roadblocks on all routes.

Which route do you think they'd take?

The most direct.

Across the moor via Potters Scar.

Ah. Yeah, that's what I thought.

Get me through the world on time.

Yeah, get me through the world on time.

We'll be right back.

Delta Alpha 2 -4, requesting ambulance
immediately.

I found the Panda car halfway down
Hallows Lane.

No sign of the lorry.

Lullas, can you hear me?

All

cars now

in place.

Over.

Just have vanished.

Maybe they weren't planning on leaving
the area at all.

But where else could they have gone?

Control to all units.

Spread out and search the woods.

Police!

Stop!

Stop!

So what are you doing out here then?

Don't tell me bird watching. Aye,
following them two luck birds, Mr Taylor

his secretary.

Phone his wife if you don't believe me,
she hired me.

Procter's a creep, but I reckon he's
telling the truth.

Well, he can cool his heels in the cells
while you check his story with Mr

Taylor's wife.

And Walker, take your time.

Doctor. I've just had word from the
hospital.

How are the two men?

They've regained consciousness.

The driver was able to give a very good
description of the thieves.

Good. One of whom was a woman.

We've had the photo pictures through
Storley and the accomplices.

We know they were responsible for
robbing a security van in Harrogate,

I tell you.

Ring any bells?

Who was it that painted the 15 Chapel
ceiling?

Michelangelo, wasn't it?

That's what I thought.

Care to enlighten us, PC Walker?

But my lecture today won't last much
longer than a couple of hours. I've cut

right down.

The art of collecting, to my mind at
least, requires as much skill, if not

more. as is involved in the creation of
the works themselves.

Discerning fakes and forgeries from the
genuine article is something one can

only learn after many years of
experience.

And believe you me, there are many
fraudulent dealers out there, as I'm

Lorenzo will verify.

Everybody stay where you are.

Take the last ten o 'clock spill and
I'll meet you at the station. You can be

here by 4 .30. Could I bathe your
reservation?

Don't be slow.

I'm not alone.

I'm not alone.

I'm not leaving in the morning.

Kenneth Stonely, I presume.

Told you.

You wouldn't listen.

You had to go off on your own. If we'd
have stuck to the plan... Ah, shut it,

you idiots.

I hope you're good at painting from
memory. You won't be seeing the English

countryside for a while.

What was that you were saying in there
about frauds?

So he wasn't from the Royal Academy
after all? The only painting he'd ever

was sloshing a load of emulsion about on
walls.

We were used.

Well, apparently he got wind of the
course through a mate in Whitby.

And to think I'd personally showed them
round my collection.

I'm only grateful they didn't get away
with it. That statue's priceless.

Yeah, you want to look at people's
references more carefully in future,

you?

Hindsight is a wonderful thing,
Sergeant.

You're looking very smart, David.

Not your birthday, is it?

No, I'm, er... I might be meeting
somebody here for dinner.

Who's the lucky girl, then?

Oh, I wish I was at home with Alfred.

Well, I wouldn't worry.

Because your admirer and his supposed
nephew have just been carted off in a

black Mariah.

Along with the maestro himself.

Really?

Here.

50 -50 as agreed.

What's that?

Half the proceeds.

There was nothing I could do. The
painting group insisted on having their

back. Apart from a few meagre shillings.

What's going on through there, then,
Oscar?

Five -a -high convention?

No, just swapping notes.

You were wrong about that, Hunsthorne,
weren't you? We all make mistakes.

Too true.

Oh, I'm glad you're here, Lord
Ashfordly. Oh, any news about the

Well, the insurance company called the
station earlier. They sent a chap round

to check the statue for damage.

Oh, very prompt of them. Excellent.

So the auction can still go ahead?

No, I'm afraid not.

The chap reckons the statues are fake.

Whiskey, please, Gina.

Make it a large one.

He's a shark, Brian. And if the loans go
bad, he hurts people.

I need to borrow some more.

I could be done for assisting an
offender. I got blobbered half

dumped in a boot and left for dead.

You get what's coming to you.

You can leave that to me.