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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:14,020 Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me? 2 00:00:20,340 --> 00:00:26,280 Heartbeat, why does a love kiss stay in my memory? 3 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,400 Come on, Danny. Take your dead carrier. 4 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,520 Hello, Doctor. Hello, Mr Rowan. Hello. 5 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,840 Look, Danny, the bedside calendar. 6 00:01:09,060 --> 00:01:11,260 You open it up each day before Christmas. 7 00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:12,620 And there's a picture inside. 8 00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:13,980 The day the rain daylight. 9 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,120 Now, now, come on, Ali. 10 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:19,020 Let's get him inside before it starts snowing. Is it going to keep snowing, 11 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:20,320 Aye, I reckon so, lad. 12 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,220 Really? Aye, just for you. 13 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:24,280 It's going to be great, Danny. 14 00:01:24,940 --> 00:01:27,020 There you go. I'll take him in. 15 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:33,500 Thanks for getting him home for Christmas, Doctor. 16 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:35,160 Oh, that'll make all the difference. 17 00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:37,420 I'm afraid it is just for Christmas. 18 00:01:38,260 --> 00:01:39,260 Daddy's coughing. 19 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,560 I'll wait in the car. 20 00:01:51,500 --> 00:01:52,760 I'm all right, Dad. 21 00:01:53,020 --> 00:01:54,660 I told you two not to get him excited. 22 00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:55,940 Let me have a look. 23 00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:58,260 Get him a drink for you, love. 24 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,260 He should be fine. 25 00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:05,410 Just get him straight to bed. His medication is in his bag. I'll take him 26 00:02:05,850 --> 00:02:06,850 Think on. 27 00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:08,009 Don't get him going. 28 00:02:12,870 --> 00:02:16,130 I was hoping you'd be better. 29 00:02:17,150 --> 00:02:18,330 We're doing the best we can. 30 00:02:19,330 --> 00:02:20,790 I know, Doctor. 31 00:02:21,890 --> 00:02:24,410 If you can keep him warm, I think the change will do him good. 32 00:02:25,610 --> 00:02:27,550 I was reading about sanatoriums in Switzerland. 33 00:02:28,370 --> 00:02:29,530 They can cure him easily. 34 00:02:30,070 --> 00:02:31,070 Can't we send him there? 35 00:02:31,790 --> 00:02:33,650 In an ideal world, Mr Parkin. 36 00:02:34,170 --> 00:02:35,470 Not on the national health. 37 00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,550 What sort of money are we talking about? 38 00:02:38,670 --> 00:02:39,710 Hundreds, I'm afraid. 39 00:02:41,690 --> 00:02:42,810 Might as well be millions. 40 00:02:43,930 --> 00:02:45,490 How can I raise money like that? 41 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,040 Thank you. 42 00:03:28,060 --> 00:03:29,060 Thank you. 43 00:03:50,830 --> 00:03:51,830 Howdy, howdy. 44 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,200 No place. 45 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,240 It's Lady Whitley. Whitley Hall. 46 00:04:44,460 --> 00:04:45,940 I think I've got intruders. 47 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,720 Yeah, drink this. You'll feel better. 48 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,120 Thank you. 49 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:37,460 Are you going to be all right here on your own? 50 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:39,220 Oh, yes, I'm used to it. 51 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,320 Anyway, they weren't trying to get into the house. 52 00:07:42,380 --> 00:07:43,820 No? Oh, no. 53 00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:45,640 I know what they were after. 54 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,840 So what about the truck, then? We can't leave it here. 55 00:07:54,540 --> 00:07:55,540 Well, don't pick. 56 00:07:55,940 --> 00:07:57,220 Only first let's get these loaded. 57 00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,060 All right? 58 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:03,600 Christmas trees? 59 00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:05,840 Yeah, well, they're young fir trees. 60 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,100 They sell them as Christmas trees. 61 00:08:09,220 --> 00:08:10,920 What will they think of nicking next? 62 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,320 How'd you get on with Lady Whitley? 63 00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:18,360 All right. 64 00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,700 Yeah, she's helping you with this Christmas charity concert, isn't she? 65 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:23,760 Helping? 66 00:08:23,980 --> 00:08:26,000 She's graciously agreed to be our patron. 67 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:30,120 But she won't be doing anything that'll get her beautifully manicured nails 68 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,120 broken. 69 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:32,679 Yeah, she has got nice hands. 70 00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:35,919 Her legs ain't too bad, either. 71 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,620 In fact, she's what Phil might call a cracker. A cracker? 72 00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:41,140 Happy's not. 73 00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:44,179 Oh, sorry, darling. Did that sting? 74 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,220 I think we'll find a known for this, son. 75 00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:31,740 Come on. 76 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:33,780 Go on, son. 77 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:35,180 Come on. Come on. 78 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,160 Hi, George. 79 00:09:38,980 --> 00:09:42,040 When are you going to get some new trimmings? You've been putting these up 80 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:42,819 the war. 81 00:09:42,820 --> 00:09:44,240 I bet you've got some for sale. 82 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:45,620 Funny you should mention that. 83 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,900 Claude, these are up and they're staying up. 84 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,780 If you want that tree decorating, I'll do it. But only if I can put you with a 85 00:09:51,780 --> 00:09:52,780 fairy goat. 86 00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:56,340 What are you doing with a tree anyway, Claude? 87 00:09:56,670 --> 00:09:57,670 Shorter company. 88 00:09:57,810 --> 00:10:01,450 Why don't you stick to serving drinks and leave me to do what I'm good at, 89 00:10:01,450 --> 00:10:03,550 is helping my mates out. You can have it for 30 bob. 90 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:05,090 I'll give you a quid. It's yours. 91 00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:06,269 I'll knock it off your slate. 92 00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:08,450 I thought you might. Where do you want it? Stick it in the yard for now. 93 00:10:08,930 --> 00:10:10,490 Well, shove up or you'll get impaled. 94 00:10:16,110 --> 00:10:18,310 I wouldn't like to think that I'd fallen off the back of a lorry. 95 00:10:18,570 --> 00:10:19,630 Oh, give over, Gina. 96 00:10:20,490 --> 00:10:22,690 This is Yorkshire, love, not darkest Liverpool. 97 00:10:24,510 --> 00:10:26,550 Hey! You'll never believe what's happened. 98 00:10:27,050 --> 00:10:29,730 What? Somebody's pinched my flaming lorry. 99 00:10:40,730 --> 00:10:41,730 Can I help you? 100 00:10:42,370 --> 00:10:43,370 How much are they? 101 00:10:43,550 --> 00:10:45,310 They're one pound each. Do you want one? 102 00:10:45,690 --> 00:10:46,690 No, thanks. 103 00:10:47,890 --> 00:10:48,950 So now we know, right? 104 00:10:49,590 --> 00:10:51,810 What? How much to charge, stupid? 105 00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:54,110 Here you go, mate. 106 00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:57,680 Then we could run to some proper decorations. 107 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,640 We're going to put mistletoe over Blaketon's door. 108 00:11:01,180 --> 00:11:03,360 An anvil over Blaketon's door would do me. 109 00:11:03,660 --> 00:11:05,620 You should see the decorations up at Whitley Hall. 110 00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:10,500 Now, they say she's quite decorative and all, Lady Whitley. 111 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:11,720 Yeah, not all. 112 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:15,900 30 years younger than Lord Whitley. And they say that he died of sheer 113 00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:16,900 happiness. 114 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,280 Rowan! 115 00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:19,860 My office. 116 00:11:33,770 --> 00:11:34,770 What's this? 117 00:11:35,710 --> 00:11:37,830 It's a hymn book, you ruddy heathen. 118 00:11:39,550 --> 00:11:43,730 This Christmas tree robbery, Rowan. Let me get a few things straight. 119 00:11:45,190 --> 00:11:49,990 You got a call from Lady Whitley while the villains were in her woods and yet 120 00:11:49,990 --> 00:11:52,630 you still managed to let them get away. 121 00:11:53,510 --> 00:11:56,510 And you damaged your motorbike. 122 00:11:57,130 --> 00:11:58,690 Well, they almost ran me down, son. 123 00:11:58,910 --> 00:12:01,170 All the more reason for you to be out on the case. 124 00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:05,130 Not helping Bellamy turn this station into Santa's grotto. 125 00:12:05,610 --> 00:12:07,930 Now, Lady Whitley has put her faith in us. 126 00:12:08,570 --> 00:12:10,830 She's a lady, and I stress the word. 127 00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:17,330 Living alone in a remote house in fear of her life, I shouldn't wonder. 128 00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:19,690 Well, she seemed all right last night. 129 00:12:21,090 --> 00:12:22,090 Shock. 130 00:12:22,510 --> 00:12:24,070 Takes time to set in. 131 00:12:24,490 --> 00:12:29,070 As the chief constable pointed out to the divisional inspector, who pointed it 132 00:12:29,070 --> 00:12:30,070 out to me. 133 00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:35,930 Chief Constable? Whose wife pointed it out to him after she'd talked to Lady 134 00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:38,670 Whitley at a charity bazaar this morning. 135 00:12:39,350 --> 00:12:42,430 You're not suggesting she should get preferential treatment, Sergeant? 136 00:12:43,990 --> 00:12:47,290 As you said yourself, Rowan, they tried to run you down. 137 00:12:47,510 --> 00:12:53,830 Now, endangering the life of a police officer is serious, so I... I suggest 138 00:12:53,830 --> 00:12:57,330 some extra surveillance seems to be in order. 139 00:12:58,050 --> 00:12:59,050 What the... 140 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,200 What's going on, Ventric? 141 00:13:18,420 --> 00:13:21,280 I'm sorry, Sarge. We're just doing a couple of things. 142 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:23,660 Sounds like you're slaughtering an animal. 143 00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:28,700 Sarge. It's Dr Rowan's charity concert, and we're doing a turn. 144 00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:30,830 You give folks one if you sing like that. 145 00:13:31,510 --> 00:13:33,650 Now get back to work, the pair of you. 146 00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:37,910 Something amusing you, is there, Rowan? 147 00:13:38,570 --> 00:13:40,710 No, Sarge. Right, then on your bike. 148 00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:44,630 And make sure Lady Whitley sees you beavering away. 149 00:13:45,230 --> 00:13:47,430 I don't suppose you care to join us, Sarge? 150 00:13:47,650 --> 00:13:48,870 You suppose right. 151 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,650 Just a gentleman I wanted to see. Yes, sir, I can't stop. 152 00:13:52,970 --> 00:13:54,310 What do you mean you can't stop? 153 00:13:54,910 --> 00:13:56,510 I'll pay your wages, you know. 154 00:13:58,250 --> 00:13:59,270 It's marvellous, isn't it? 155 00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:02,330 No wonder you can't find a copper when you want one. You're always in here. 156 00:14:02,570 --> 00:14:04,170 Where do you expect us to be, Greengrass? 157 00:14:04,450 --> 00:14:05,530 The fire station? 158 00:14:07,370 --> 00:14:08,750 I want to report a robbery. 159 00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:10,730 Confession, is it? 160 00:14:10,770 --> 00:14:12,270 It's not a laughing matter, you know, Ventress. 161 00:14:12,630 --> 00:14:13,790 Somebody's pinched my lorry. 162 00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:16,230 Who'd want to pinch your lorry? 163 00:14:16,510 --> 00:14:18,850 That is what I want you to find out, Sherlock. 164 00:14:21,630 --> 00:14:23,490 Isn't it about time you got some new decorations? 165 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,090 I could do your job lot at cost if you're interested. 166 00:14:34,670 --> 00:14:35,670 Hello there. 167 00:14:36,850 --> 00:14:37,850 How's it going? 168 00:14:38,410 --> 00:14:41,850 Well, we're making inquiries through all the regular supplies of Christmas 169 00:14:41,850 --> 00:14:45,430 trees. We'll keep our eyes open, see if any turn up round here. 170 00:14:45,910 --> 00:14:47,450 How can you tell if they're my trees? 171 00:14:48,070 --> 00:14:49,070 Well, we can't really. 172 00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:52,390 Not unless you've had Whitley Hall written through them. I can stick her 173 00:14:54,070 --> 00:14:57,770 Well, I suppose we can hardly expect you to dust the tree stump for Dad. 174 00:14:59,230 --> 00:15:00,750 How are you feeling now, by the way? 175 00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,570 Oh, I'm fine, thanks. 176 00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:03,830 Oh, good. 177 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:05,519 Oh, well. 178 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:07,480 Keep me informed, Constable. Thank you. 179 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:10,140 Control to Delta Alpha 2 -4. 180 00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:18,740 Delta Alpha 2 -4 to Control. What's up, Alf? 181 00:15:19,380 --> 00:15:21,840 Someone's nicked Greengrass's truck. 182 00:15:22,860 --> 00:15:24,160 Greengrass's truck? You're kidding. 183 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:29,380 How many hundreds did the doctor say? I don't know, but it'll be too many if we 184 00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:30,380 don't make a start now. 185 00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:32,640 Look, let's try the... Come on. 186 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,720 Excuse me, would you like to buy a Christmas tree? 187 00:15:36,980 --> 00:15:38,400 Oh, I'll get mine from the shop, love. 188 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,240 Yeah, but they're a pounder's shop and you can have this for 18, Bob. 189 00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:45,300 Oh, I don't know. 190 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:46,720 They're our own trees. 191 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,120 Anne will deliver. 192 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,080 Please. 193 00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:52,480 Go on, then. 194 00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:56,080 All I can tell you was that the truck was there when I put the empties out 195 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,300 midnight. All right, George. 196 00:15:57,740 --> 00:16:00,580 We'll have a word with your regulars and see if they noticed anyone hanging 197 00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:01,680 around outside last night. 198 00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:03,060 Right. 199 00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:05,760 That's nice, Gina. 200 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:07,300 Do you like it? 201 00:16:07,940 --> 00:16:10,060 Got it off Claude Greengrass, would you believe? 202 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:12,640 Really? When was that? 203 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:13,920 This morning. 204 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,300 I didn't know he was into this sort of thing. 205 00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:20,020 Neither did I. But what is from that one and two giving half the chance? 206 00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:23,800 Can you keep a secret, Danny? 207 00:16:24,460 --> 00:16:25,460 Cross my heart. 208 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,340 We're going to send you to Switzerland. 209 00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:28,740 To a sanatorium. 210 00:16:30,020 --> 00:16:32,900 Isn't that where they put loonies? Like a loony bin? 211 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:34,260 No. 212 00:16:34,510 --> 00:16:35,790 This is for people like you. 213 00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:37,470 People who can't breathe properly. 214 00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:39,930 You see, the air's special in Switzerland. 215 00:16:40,590 --> 00:16:41,650 Cos it's the mountains. 216 00:16:42,110 --> 00:16:43,110 And I'm going? 217 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:45,370 Yeah. But it's still a secret. 218 00:16:45,790 --> 00:16:46,790 Dan mustn't know. 219 00:16:47,090 --> 00:16:48,470 Not till we've got enough money. 220 00:16:48,810 --> 00:16:49,990 Is it a lot of money? 221 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,110 Yeah. Look, show him, Ron. 222 00:16:55,770 --> 00:16:57,370 Where did that come from? 223 00:16:58,870 --> 00:17:00,430 Did you rob a bank? 224 00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:02,930 It's Christmas, Danny. 225 00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:06,250 Special things happen at Christmas, don't they? 226 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:40,280 Christmas without you I'll be 227 00:17:40,280 --> 00:17:47,280 so blue just thinking about you 228 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:54,040 Decorations of 229 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:59,460 red on a green Christmas tree 230 00:18:23,159 --> 00:18:26,500 You haven't even had a chance to go out and build a snowman. 231 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,120 Never mind. 232 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,980 It's not all the time, it's what you learned. 233 00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:37,270 I need it now, don't I? I've got all these birds to deliver by Christmas. 234 00:18:37,590 --> 00:18:39,990 Nobody wants a turkey after Boxing Day, you know. 235 00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:42,070 You do Christmas trees as well. 236 00:18:42,810 --> 00:18:44,150 Like the one you plug to the pub. 237 00:18:44,530 --> 00:18:47,370 I'll let him have it cheap because he's a mate. If you want one, you've got to 238 00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:49,550 pay the full whack. I've got my reputation to consider. 239 00:18:49,830 --> 00:18:50,870 I'm not buying, Claude. 240 00:18:51,450 --> 00:18:54,570 I want to know where you got it from. Why do I get the feeling you're not 241 00:18:54,570 --> 00:18:56,030 to believe what I'm going to tell you? 242 00:19:02,890 --> 00:19:03,890 Found it. 243 00:19:03,970 --> 00:19:05,990 Well, in a wood attached to its stump. 244 00:19:06,550 --> 00:19:08,890 Very good. I told you you wouldn't believe me, did you? 245 00:19:09,130 --> 00:19:13,450 I found it by the side of the road when I was looking for mushrooms. In any 246 00:19:13,450 --> 00:19:17,430 case, you should be trying to find my lorry. I mean, I know it's not worth 247 00:19:17,430 --> 00:19:19,830 but it's worth a damn sight more than a flaming Christmas tree. 248 00:19:20,050 --> 00:19:21,570 How about 30 Christmas trees? 249 00:19:22,490 --> 00:19:24,350 That's how many were nicked from Whitley Hall last night. 250 00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:27,290 Well, it couldn't have been me, cos I ain't got a lorry. 251 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:32,030 In any case, I only wish I had 29 more Christmas trees to sell. 252 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,800 be a sight easier than plucking this lot. 253 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:07,560 Pine needles, Rowan? 254 00:20:08,420 --> 00:20:10,080 All over the back of his truck, Sarge. 255 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:12,980 And what does he have to say about this? 256 00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:15,740 Citizen Greengrass. 257 00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:17,880 Well, I haven't spoken to him yet. 258 00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:19,440 Just about to have a word. 259 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,060 Well, I've got a better idea. 260 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:24,660 Why don't you bring him in here? 261 00:20:42,570 --> 00:20:45,090 It's just a fourth time. How will I play? 262 00:20:46,730 --> 00:20:50,390 See, the way... Don't turn away from me, Johnny. 263 00:20:50,710 --> 00:20:51,710 You're right. 264 00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:55,990 Let me down, Johnny. You make me feel ashamed. 265 00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:59,430 That was great, Albert. Thank you very much. 266 00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:03,310 You what? We were looking for more comedy and that was inspired. 267 00:21:03,670 --> 00:21:09,170 But it's not meant to be funny, I hope. 268 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,220 It's supposed to howl when I play. 269 00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:15,920 I promise you, Albert, it's perfect. 270 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,040 You're making fun of me. 271 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,440 No, I'm not. 272 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:25,780 Oh, well, if that's your attitude, you can stop your concert. 273 00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:27,360 No, no. 274 00:21:28,180 --> 00:21:30,820 Oh, please, Albert, don't go. We need you. 275 00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:35,360 Good night. 276 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:41,920 Hey, DC. 277 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:46,020 D -E -F -G -H -I -J -K -L -A -M. 278 00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:51,860 N -O -P -Q -R -F -T -U -V -W -X -Y -Z. 279 00:21:53,060 --> 00:21:54,060 Yeah. 280 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:55,920 Thank you very much. 281 00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:59,360 Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, get out of your attention for a few minutes, 282 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:03,620 please. Ashfordly Market's loss is your gain. I've got everything you want for 283 00:22:03,620 --> 00:22:04,620 Christmas in here. 284 00:22:04,700 --> 00:22:07,420 Crackers, novelties, decorations, a lot. 285 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:08,840 What's going on? 286 00:22:09,180 --> 00:22:10,580 I'll tell you what's going on. 287 00:22:10,940 --> 00:22:13,960 Because your husband and his colleagues can't find my truck, I can't get to 288 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,080 Ashfordly Market, can I? 289 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,820 You can't do this. We're trying to put a show together. 290 00:22:18,340 --> 00:22:20,340 I'm sorry, Kate. I've got a living to earn. 291 00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:23,820 They're half a pound to you, madam. They're two and eleven in 292 00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:25,260 Claude, just move. 293 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,600 All right. If you want to purchase, I'll be setting up in the back room. 294 00:22:33,380 --> 00:22:34,380 Claude. What? 295 00:22:35,780 --> 00:22:40,470 Claude, if I told you I wanted you to be the star in my concert... Would you 296 00:22:40,470 --> 00:22:41,470 help? 297 00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:43,090 What? You mean do a turn? 298 00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:45,890 Well, it's more of a character part, actually. 299 00:22:46,310 --> 00:22:48,910 Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to be pleased about this? 300 00:22:49,470 --> 00:22:50,470 Come here. 301 00:22:51,670 --> 00:22:53,170 You've got to be joking. 302 00:22:53,410 --> 00:22:54,610 No, it's very you. 303 00:22:55,010 --> 00:22:56,570 It's not, you know, it's somebody else. 304 00:22:57,170 --> 00:22:58,550 Please, just for me. 305 00:22:59,150 --> 00:23:00,750 I'm sorry, Kate, I can't. 306 00:23:03,390 --> 00:23:07,290 Would there be any chance of borrowing the costume for a bit, you know, just to 307 00:23:07,290 --> 00:23:08,290 get into the character? 308 00:23:49,710 --> 00:23:50,850 I always need you back at the workshop. 309 00:23:51,130 --> 00:23:52,130 You are. 310 00:23:52,330 --> 00:23:54,030 Sergeant Blayton wants me to bring you in. 311 00:23:54,370 --> 00:23:55,370 So you better get in. 312 00:23:56,170 --> 00:24:03,070 I might 313 00:24:03,070 --> 00:24:03,210 as 314 00:24:03,210 --> 00:24:12,230 well 315 00:24:12,230 --> 00:24:13,209 forget it. 316 00:24:13,210 --> 00:24:14,250 I'll never get enough. 317 00:24:14,730 --> 00:24:16,450 Play 15 quid in a day. 318 00:24:16,670 --> 00:24:17,710 I'm sold all the trees. 319 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:19,560 Now I'll have to make money with. 320 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:21,880 So let's get some more. Come on. 321 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:24,800 Right, Greengrass. 322 00:24:24,820 --> 00:24:26,940 The good news is we've found your truck. 323 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:32,220 The bad news is it contains evidence of stolen property. 324 00:24:32,780 --> 00:24:34,080 What are you talking about? 325 00:24:35,060 --> 00:24:36,060 Christmas trees. 326 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:38,000 Like the one you sold to the pub. 327 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:39,640 Where did you get it? 328 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,620 I told you, I found it. 329 00:24:42,140 --> 00:24:43,140 Found it. 330 00:24:44,290 --> 00:24:48,270 Yeah, in the middle of the road when we were out with him. I've already told 331 00:24:48,270 --> 00:24:51,690 Ronan. You don't really expect us to believe that, do you, Greengrass? 332 00:24:52,130 --> 00:24:54,910 Well, coming out with a lie, it'd be a better one than that. 333 00:24:55,210 --> 00:24:56,550 And what about the pine needles? 334 00:24:57,030 --> 00:24:58,230 What pine needles? 335 00:24:58,730 --> 00:25:02,810 The pine needles PC Rowan here found all over the floor of your truck this 336 00:25:02,810 --> 00:25:03,810 afternoon. 337 00:25:04,510 --> 00:25:06,290 I don't know what about pine needles. 338 00:25:09,860 --> 00:25:13,300 No, I don't, but I know one thing. I know when somebody's trying to fit me up 339 00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:14,300 like you lot are. 340 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:17,320 Sarge. Nick. 341 00:25:17,900 --> 00:25:18,900 Can I have a word? 342 00:25:46,090 --> 00:25:47,450 What do you mean it's not there? 343 00:25:47,770 --> 00:25:51,130 There's no sign of any truck, Sarge. Are you sure you went to the right place? 344 00:25:51,750 --> 00:25:53,470 Dalby Crossroads. That's right. 345 00:25:53,990 --> 00:25:54,990 Yeah, that's right. 346 00:25:55,710 --> 00:25:57,490 Well, how do you explain this then, Rowan? 347 00:25:57,850 --> 00:25:59,370 Well, it was definitely there, Sarge. 348 00:26:00,470 --> 00:26:04,090 You're telling me a stolen vehicle you just found has now been nicked again? 349 00:26:04,530 --> 00:26:08,410 A truck belonging to that pain in the backside in there? 350 00:26:09,170 --> 00:26:10,270 Looks like it, Sarge. 351 00:26:11,770 --> 00:26:13,150 Are you going to tell him or shall I? 352 00:26:16,139 --> 00:26:17,139 Ashfordly Police. 353 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:19,920 Yes, he is. Well done. 354 00:26:20,740 --> 00:26:21,740 It's for you. 355 00:26:22,700 --> 00:26:23,840 It's your lady friend. 356 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,020 It's still not snowing, Dad. 357 00:26:34,060 --> 00:26:35,060 It will. 358 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,960 You see, it's still not Christmas yet, Daddy. 359 00:26:40,380 --> 00:26:41,880 Full of snow that's gay, I'd say. 360 00:26:42,940 --> 00:26:43,940 Full of it. 361 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:12,120 If your mother was still alive today, whatever would she have said, eh? 362 00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:14,060 I told you I ever did it, Dad. 363 00:27:14,320 --> 00:27:15,460 It's not the point. 364 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:17,580 Ali, it's still stealing. 365 00:27:18,140 --> 00:27:19,260 And stealing's wrong. 366 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,000 Right? 367 00:27:31,620 --> 00:27:32,620 There it is. 368 00:27:33,940 --> 00:27:35,580 Right, I'll wait there a minute, will you? 369 00:27:46,220 --> 00:27:47,460 Well, that didn't take long, did it? 370 00:27:47,820 --> 00:27:48,639 Bobby's here. 371 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:49,880 We did it for Danny, Dad. 372 00:27:51,180 --> 00:27:52,600 We know what you're here for, Mr Rowan. 373 00:27:53,020 --> 00:27:55,480 We're trying to get some money for our Danny to go to Switzerland. 374 00:27:55,940 --> 00:27:57,880 Your missus said he'd get better if he went. 375 00:27:58,160 --> 00:27:59,360 They're only burns, Mr Rowan. 376 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:03,720 The fact is a truck's been stolen and several dozen Christmas trees. 377 00:28:04,020 --> 00:28:05,380 They'll give all the money back. 378 00:28:06,100 --> 00:28:07,560 Can't we let it stop there? 379 00:28:08,540 --> 00:28:09,860 Well, it's not up to me, I'm afraid. 380 00:28:10,780 --> 00:28:12,080 These crimes have been reported. 381 00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:15,500 It'll have to go further. 382 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,240 I was saving it to buy some presents for them all. 383 00:28:52,740 --> 00:28:54,060 It's the last of my redundancy money. 384 00:28:54,860 --> 00:28:56,260 I don't really deserve it now. 385 00:28:57,620 --> 00:28:58,620 It's all I've got. 386 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:01,200 Well, we can't take it, Mr Parkin. 387 00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:06,080 Crimes have been committed, reports have been made, forms have been filled in. 388 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:08,280 It's out of our hands. 389 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,040 I'm sorry. 390 00:29:15,260 --> 00:29:16,260 Rowan? 391 00:29:23,790 --> 00:29:24,930 It's a bit rough, isn't it, Holmes? 392 00:29:25,170 --> 00:29:26,470 You know the position, Rowan. 393 00:29:26,670 --> 00:29:32,770 We're here to enforce the law to the rich and the poor, whatever the time of 394 00:29:32,770 --> 00:29:33,770 year. 395 00:29:40,790 --> 00:29:42,010 Everything seems OK? 396 00:29:43,250 --> 00:29:44,430 You feeling all right? 397 00:29:44,830 --> 00:29:47,310 I think I ought to go back to the hospital. 398 00:29:48,490 --> 00:29:53,230 Why? My dad spent all his money on coal to keep the house warm. 399 00:29:53,740 --> 00:29:56,000 and Ellie and Ronnie are going to get locked up. 400 00:29:56,540 --> 00:29:57,600 Who tells you that? 401 00:29:58,180 --> 00:30:02,680 Nobody, but they won't tell me out, so I know it's my fault. 402 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:04,960 Now, you listen to me, Danny. 403 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:09,620 Your family love you very much, and all they want for Christmas is for you to 404 00:30:09,620 --> 00:30:10,620 have a good time. 405 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:14,560 But I'm just in the way, and even the snow's gone. 406 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,140 Come here, you big dafty. 407 00:30:21,930 --> 00:30:24,830 If I'd been firmer with Fred about Switzerland, none of this would have 408 00:30:24,830 --> 00:30:27,970 happened. But you couldn't have known those kids would get an idea like that. 409 00:30:28,130 --> 00:30:29,130 Well, we've got to do something. 410 00:30:29,730 --> 00:30:32,570 You were talking to the bloke who got booed out of the village today for Nicky 411 00:30:32,570 --> 00:30:33,570 and Sansa. 412 00:30:33,930 --> 00:30:36,470 I've got to stand up and court and give evidence against those poor kids. 413 00:30:37,530 --> 00:30:40,630 Couldn't we give the money from the charity concert to start a fund to help 414 00:30:40,630 --> 00:30:41,630 Danny? 415 00:30:42,230 --> 00:30:43,230 That's a good idea. 416 00:30:44,130 --> 00:30:45,610 I'm not sure Blaketon is here that way. 417 00:30:46,670 --> 00:30:48,530 In any case, who's the patron of your show? 418 00:30:49,850 --> 00:30:50,850 Lady Whitley. 419 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:52,740 And whose trees were stolen? 420 00:30:53,820 --> 00:30:55,600 Can't you get her to drop the charges? 421 00:30:55,980 --> 00:30:56,980 How? 422 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:01,300 Charm. I presume that wouldn't be too much of a hardship for you. 423 00:31:01,540 --> 00:31:02,700 And what about the truck? 424 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:05,140 You can't expect me to charm Claude Greengrass. 425 00:31:05,580 --> 00:31:07,320 Whatever happened to Christmas spirit? 426 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,000 It seems to have passed. 427 00:31:09,740 --> 00:31:11,180 Well, at least give it a try. 428 00:31:14,100 --> 00:31:15,100 All right. 429 00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:16,620 I'll go and see her in the morning. 430 00:31:19,180 --> 00:31:20,480 Don't build your hopes up, though. 431 00:31:20,910 --> 00:31:23,730 If she had her way, those kids would be sent to Australia. 432 00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:26,050 That's my man. 433 00:31:27,050 --> 00:31:28,190 And don't forget the butcher. 434 00:31:28,790 --> 00:31:31,510 If you don't pick up the turkey by lunchtime, he's going to sell it. 435 00:31:41,670 --> 00:31:42,670 Two, Bob. 436 00:31:42,810 --> 00:31:43,810 Two, Bob? 437 00:31:43,910 --> 00:31:44,990 Cheap enough for price. 438 00:31:46,070 --> 00:31:47,310 Now then, little girl. 439 00:31:47,530 --> 00:31:50,450 Ho, ho, ho. Would you like to sit on Santa's knee? 440 00:31:52,010 --> 00:31:53,990 Would Santa tell you a lie? 441 00:31:54,290 --> 00:31:57,410 No. Right, well, come on, sit on my knee then. There's a good girl. 442 00:31:58,650 --> 00:32:02,650 Right, now then, little girl, what would you like for Christmas? 443 00:32:02,990 --> 00:32:03,990 A bike. 444 00:32:04,050 --> 00:32:05,150 A bike? 445 00:32:05,650 --> 00:32:07,970 I've told you, you're not having a bike. 446 00:32:08,250 --> 00:32:11,370 You tell Mummy that Santa knows where he can get one at cost. 447 00:32:11,930 --> 00:32:13,810 She wants to go in your lucky dip. 448 00:32:14,130 --> 00:32:15,610 She'll not find a bike in there. 449 00:32:16,110 --> 00:32:18,450 Come on, look sharp. We've got shopping to do. 450 00:32:21,370 --> 00:32:22,950 Oh, look what she's found. 451 00:32:23,510 --> 00:32:24,510 What's this? 452 00:32:24,850 --> 00:32:27,470 I'm not paying two bob for this piece of old junk. 453 00:32:28,270 --> 00:32:32,410 It's her lucky dip. You know, she's just not been all that lucky, have you? 454 00:32:32,930 --> 00:32:34,010 I want my money back. 455 00:32:35,070 --> 00:32:38,850 I'll tell you what I'll do. Have you got fixed up with your turkey yet? 456 00:32:39,130 --> 00:32:39,969 You what? 457 00:32:39,970 --> 00:32:43,530 I've got some lovely farm fresh ones. I'll tell you what, I'll knock the two 458 00:32:43,530 --> 00:32:46,870 off the price of a turkey. How's that? I can't say better than that, can I? 459 00:32:47,430 --> 00:32:48,430 Ho, ho, ho. 460 00:33:22,990 --> 00:33:24,270 Can I have a word, please, Lady Riddle? 461 00:33:24,550 --> 00:33:25,750 Oh, yes, of course. 462 00:33:33,470 --> 00:33:34,470 This one. 463 00:33:41,090 --> 00:33:47,850 Well, we've recovered half the trees, and here's the proceeds from the rest. 464 00:33:49,090 --> 00:33:51,650 And what am I supposed to do with the chopped down fir trees? 465 00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:53,620 Sell them at Ashfordly Market? 466 00:33:54,100 --> 00:33:55,840 Well, I'm more concerned about the children. 467 00:33:56,140 --> 00:33:57,140 Exactly. 468 00:33:57,380 --> 00:33:59,940 Today it's my treason, some poor devil's truck. 469 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:03,200 Tomorrow it's hijacking a train and pinching mailbags. 470 00:34:03,820 --> 00:34:05,020 I don't really think so. 471 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:07,380 They've got to be taught a lesson. 472 00:34:08,060 --> 00:34:10,000 Well, I think they've already learned their lesson. 473 00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,080 They were trying to raise the money to help their little brother. 474 00:34:13,580 --> 00:34:14,659 He's been ill in hospital. 475 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,020 And you fell for a sob story like that. 476 00:34:18,810 --> 00:34:21,489 I'm surprised at you, Constable. I would have thought you were immune to hard 477 00:34:21,489 --> 00:34:22,510 luck stories by now. 478 00:34:22,889 --> 00:34:23,889 I am. 479 00:34:23,989 --> 00:34:25,530 I think this one's a bit different. 480 00:34:26,130 --> 00:34:27,130 It is Christmas. 481 00:34:27,630 --> 00:34:30,130 If it weren't, they wouldn't have stolen my trees. 482 00:34:32,170 --> 00:34:36,190 Look, if word gets around the criminal community that Lady Whitley's a soft 483 00:34:36,190 --> 00:34:39,130 touch, then Christmas trees will be the least of my worries. 484 00:34:40,889 --> 00:34:42,170 Hang on, where's your two bob? 485 00:34:42,409 --> 00:34:43,409 Ain't got two bob. 486 00:34:43,590 --> 00:34:46,330 Well, if you've not got two bob, you can't sit on Santa's knee. Get off. 487 00:34:46,989 --> 00:34:48,969 I don't care, cos that's not a real reindeer. 488 00:34:49,210 --> 00:34:50,370 Of course it's a real reindeer. 489 00:34:50,690 --> 00:34:51,690 It's too small. 490 00:34:52,830 --> 00:34:56,370 That's cos it's a magic reindeer. It's small so it can get in the grotto, but 491 00:34:56,370 --> 00:34:58,710 when it pulls my sleigh, it swells up to as big as an elephant. 492 00:34:59,030 --> 00:34:59,948 It's a dog. 493 00:34:59,950 --> 00:35:02,490 Even his antlers are stuck on lock. Hey, hey, hey! 494 00:35:02,890 --> 00:35:06,090 You touch my dog's antlers, I'll touch your backside with my boot. 495 00:35:06,630 --> 00:35:10,650 You want to arrest him, mister. He's not a real antler, and he says he's going 496 00:35:10,650 --> 00:35:15,070 to hit me. If you come near my house on Christmas Eve, I'll get me there to 497 00:35:15,070 --> 00:35:16,070 thump you. 498 00:35:20,230 --> 00:35:21,310 Well, what's it to be then, Claude? 499 00:35:22,210 --> 00:35:24,090 False pretenses or threatening a minor? 500 00:35:24,430 --> 00:35:27,530 He wants threatening. He's got all the makings of a Blaketon. 501 00:35:28,270 --> 00:35:30,590 It's going to cost you more than two bob to sit on me near and all. 502 00:35:31,210 --> 00:35:34,270 What do you want Santa to put in your stocking apart from the set of 503 00:35:34,270 --> 00:35:35,270 stripes? 504 00:35:35,470 --> 00:35:37,010 Well, I thought we might make a little deal. 505 00:35:38,130 --> 00:35:41,810 I'll forget about this lot and you forget about the parking kids nicking 506 00:35:41,810 --> 00:35:45,590 truck. What are you talking about? This is all a bonbon. I'm just selling a few 507 00:35:45,590 --> 00:35:46,890 novelties and a bit of poultry. 508 00:35:47,790 --> 00:35:48,970 Oh, no. What's the time? 509 00:35:49,420 --> 00:35:51,280 About closing time, according to my clock. 510 00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:53,760 You got any turkeys left? 511 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,460 Well, only one, but it's a 16 -pounder. 512 00:35:58,360 --> 00:35:59,740 No, that's too big for me and Kate. 513 00:36:00,020 --> 00:36:01,940 Well, she's eating for two, ain't she? 514 00:36:02,980 --> 00:36:05,380 Will you please yourself? Take it to leave. It's all I've got. 515 00:36:06,260 --> 00:36:07,260 How much? 516 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:11,060 Well, for a mate, two quid. 517 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,020 So, you're sorry, are you? 518 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:18,760 Yeah. And I suppose your father sent you here to play that, did he? 519 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,860 No. And what about your brother? Isn't he sorry? 520 00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:24,900 Yeah. Then why isn't he here as well? 521 00:36:25,300 --> 00:36:26,620 Because he's too scared to. 522 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:28,740 Oh, I see. 523 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:30,680 And you aren't scared? 524 00:36:31,100 --> 00:36:32,100 No. 525 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:33,360 A bit. 526 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:38,360 And I suppose that you think being sorry makes everything all right again. 527 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,300 You know, life wasn't always like this for me. 528 00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:46,000 I was one of 12 kids, not just three like you. 529 00:36:46,780 --> 00:36:48,020 And we had nothing. 530 00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:50,800 But we'd never have dreamt of stealing. 531 00:36:51,820 --> 00:36:53,700 The shame would have killed our parents. 532 00:36:54,260 --> 00:36:55,880 What does your mother think about this? 533 00:36:56,460 --> 00:36:57,460 She's dead. 534 00:36:58,100 --> 00:36:59,420 She died having our dinner. 535 00:37:01,180 --> 00:37:05,320 Well, I'm sure she'd want you to learn a lesson, and that's exactly what you're 536 00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:06,178 going to do. 537 00:37:06,180 --> 00:37:07,320 I've said I'm sorry. 538 00:37:09,820 --> 00:37:10,820 What's this? 539 00:37:11,300 --> 00:37:15,060 My dad tried to give it to the police, but they won't take it. 540 00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:16,920 So I brought it to you. 541 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:19,460 To pay for all the trouble you've had. 542 00:37:20,340 --> 00:37:21,640 To pay for our presents. 543 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:24,520 We don't think you're going to buy your way out of this. 544 00:37:24,900 --> 00:37:26,020 It's everything we've got. 545 00:37:28,420 --> 00:37:30,480 I think you've said everything you came to say. 546 00:38:15,630 --> 00:38:18,550 Which wouldn't budge an inch. I reckon it sets a bad example. 547 00:38:19,090 --> 00:38:20,510 You must be losing your touch. 548 00:38:21,530 --> 00:38:24,270 Yeah, at least Claude's prepared to forget about the theft of his truck. 549 00:38:25,290 --> 00:38:26,430 So what happens now? 550 00:38:27,490 --> 00:38:29,690 They'll be charged and go to the juvenile court. 551 00:38:30,290 --> 00:38:32,470 If they're really unlucky, they'll be sent to a proof school. 552 00:38:33,390 --> 00:38:36,170 And there might well be the question of whether Fred's got control over them. 553 00:38:36,910 --> 00:38:38,390 He loves those kids. 554 00:38:40,870 --> 00:38:43,910 Just hold on to your report for another 24 hours, will you? 555 00:38:45,900 --> 00:38:46,900 How do you feel with that? 556 00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:48,200 Yeah. 557 00:38:48,780 --> 00:38:51,360 Makes a change from it using my bladder as the trampoline. 558 00:38:54,380 --> 00:38:56,680 You know, this is going to be our last Christmas on our own. 559 00:38:58,680 --> 00:39:00,080 Well, let's make the most of it, shall we? 560 00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:02,120 Big dinner. 561 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:04,200 Put our feet up in front of the telly. 562 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:08,960 Did you get the turkey? 563 00:39:10,300 --> 00:39:11,300 Hmm? 564 00:39:11,420 --> 00:39:13,520 The turkey? Oh, yeah, yeah, it's in the kitchen. 565 00:39:14,460 --> 00:39:15,460 Let's have a look again. 566 00:39:19,980 --> 00:39:20,980 Nick! 567 00:39:22,220 --> 00:39:24,600 I asked for a turkey, not an ostrich. 568 00:39:25,140 --> 00:39:26,140 Well, that's all right. 569 00:39:26,460 --> 00:39:27,560 You'll have to help us out. 570 00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:30,400 I'll take the sandwiches to work for a couple of days. 571 00:39:30,700 --> 00:39:32,140 A couple of weeks, more like. 572 00:39:33,020 --> 00:39:35,320 Anyway, I don't think I can get anything that big in the oven. 573 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,360 You see, we're the three kings. 574 00:39:40,720 --> 00:39:42,720 Now, I take the first line. 575 00:39:43,610 --> 00:39:47,190 You take the second line, and he takes the third line. 576 00:39:47,870 --> 00:39:49,770 Right. No. 577 00:39:50,370 --> 00:39:54,690 We three kings of Ori and Ja. 578 00:39:55,410 --> 00:40:01,950 One in a taxi, one in a car. One on a scooter, blowing his hooter, following 579 00:40:01,950 --> 00:40:03,270 Ringo Starr. 580 00:40:03,990 --> 00:40:06,910 Bring that house down, that. You bar me. 581 00:40:07,210 --> 00:40:09,670 And you couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. 582 00:40:24,029 --> 00:40:27,430 Sarge, why don't we do everyone a favour and lock them in until after the 583 00:40:27,430 --> 00:40:28,430 concert? 584 00:40:28,990 --> 00:40:30,010 Don't tempt me. 585 00:40:31,770 --> 00:40:35,090 Right, Nina and Frederick, out here, now! 586 00:40:37,830 --> 00:40:40,110 Sorry, Sarge, we needed a bit of practice. 587 00:40:40,350 --> 00:40:43,450 What you need is gagging or earplugs for the audience. 588 00:40:43,730 --> 00:40:45,390 Now come and get some work done round here. 589 00:40:47,030 --> 00:40:49,690 Give us a chance, Sarge. It is Christmas. 590 00:40:50,050 --> 00:40:51,410 I'm aware of the date, Bellamy. 591 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,900 Just because it's festive season, there's no reason to tolerate 592 00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:57,520 muted or otherwise. 593 00:40:59,100 --> 00:41:00,100 God. 594 00:41:01,540 --> 00:41:02,860 What are you doing on the day? 595 00:41:03,980 --> 00:41:05,280 Well, I haven't decided yet. 596 00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,700 To me, it's the same as any other day, only longer. 597 00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:12,500 Well, if you like, you're more than welcome to join me and Kate. 598 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:14,560 We've got a huge turkey. 599 00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:20,260 Well, that's very generous of you, Robin. 600 00:41:22,990 --> 00:41:24,090 Black tie, I presume? 601 00:41:25,670 --> 00:41:26,670 Eh? 602 00:41:27,130 --> 00:41:28,530 Why, it's Christmas dinner, Rowan. 603 00:41:29,830 --> 00:41:31,950 I like to dress up on special occasions. 604 00:41:33,570 --> 00:41:35,530 Well, whatever you feel best in, Sarge. 605 00:41:37,810 --> 00:41:38,810 Thanks. 606 00:41:42,930 --> 00:41:44,010 Kate's going to kill me. 607 00:41:44,670 --> 00:41:46,930 He won't come, will he? 608 00:41:47,470 --> 00:41:50,570 We have got a bit of a surprise lined up for him. 609 00:41:51,530 --> 00:41:52,530 Oh, yeah? 610 00:41:52,680 --> 00:41:53,680 Trust us, Nick. 611 00:41:54,380 --> 00:41:57,820 Sharing Christmas dinner with the Rowans will be the last thing that's on his 612 00:41:57,820 --> 00:41:58,820 mind. 613 00:42:31,980 --> 00:42:33,640 He's going to be Santa's little helper. 614 00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:35,860 Oh, no, he's not. 615 00:42:36,380 --> 00:42:40,900 He's not the real Santa, and his reindeer's a dog. I'm telling my dad. 616 00:42:41,160 --> 00:42:43,000 But he's only pretending for the little one. 617 00:42:44,660 --> 00:42:45,800 Nice dog, Claude. 618 00:42:47,820 --> 00:42:48,820 Right. 619 00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:51,520 We've made this special chimney for you to climb into. 620 00:42:52,020 --> 00:42:53,200 Oh, that'll be good. 621 00:42:53,600 --> 00:42:54,600 Yeah. 622 00:42:54,780 --> 00:42:57,900 The kids from the village school are going to think when Santa got stuck up 623 00:42:57,900 --> 00:43:00,660 chimney. Good job. I think you're a wonderful person. 624 00:43:01,919 --> 00:43:05,720 Kate, come here a minute. I haven't time. How was the turkey, Constable? 625 00:43:06,540 --> 00:43:09,360 Oh, yeah, fine, thanks. Yeah, Kate swears by that butcher. 626 00:43:09,820 --> 00:43:10,820 Come on. 627 00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:18,080 There, be careful. 628 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:19,400 OK? 629 00:43:20,020 --> 00:43:21,280 Come here, darling, I'll show you. 630 00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:23,140 There we go. There we go. 631 00:43:28,580 --> 00:43:29,580 Hello. Hello. 632 00:43:31,240 --> 00:43:34,000 There are still some seats left, I hope, Kate. I'm sure we can find some 633 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,480 somewhere, Lady Whitley. Oh, please, call me Janet. 634 00:43:37,020 --> 00:43:38,020 Right. 635 00:44:07,570 --> 00:44:08,690 Good grief. 636 00:44:09,350 --> 00:44:11,130 It's Freeman, Artie and Willick. 637 00:44:11,730 --> 00:44:13,590 I heard you had a message for me. 638 00:44:15,190 --> 00:44:16,190 Oh. 639 00:44:17,150 --> 00:44:19,150 I thought you were one of these. 640 00:44:19,630 --> 00:44:21,930 We had a special guest. 641 00:44:22,390 --> 00:44:27,450 We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. 642 00:44:29,629 --> 00:44:30,629 Hello, Dad. 643 00:44:31,490 --> 00:44:33,350 What are you doing here? I've come for Christmas. 644 00:44:33,610 --> 00:44:34,610 I hope you don't mind. 645 00:44:35,510 --> 00:44:36,510 Mind? 646 00:44:37,290 --> 00:44:38,370 Well, it's great to see you. 647 00:44:40,290 --> 00:44:41,970 Those leaves two fixed it up, did they? 648 00:44:42,190 --> 00:44:45,850 Well, I called the station to ask if you'd mind me coming and I've sorted it 649 00:44:45,850 --> 00:44:46,848 out. 650 00:44:46,850 --> 00:44:49,110 Do you have anything to do with this, Rowan? 651 00:44:49,710 --> 00:44:50,710 No, sir. 652 00:44:51,030 --> 00:44:52,450 That's a good job you've got a big turkey. 653 00:44:53,250 --> 00:44:56,350 We're having a slap -up Christmas dinner with the Rowans, Graham. Of course, 654 00:44:56,370 --> 00:44:58,090 that's if it's all right to... 655 00:44:58,440 --> 00:44:59,440 Bring my son, is it? 656 00:45:00,300 --> 00:45:02,440 Oh, yes, Art, yeah. The more the merrier. 657 00:45:03,300 --> 00:45:04,300 Great. 658 00:45:05,080 --> 00:45:06,680 Well, I'd best get back. 659 00:45:06,940 --> 00:45:10,040 I've missed the second half. I'm thinking these two need some help. 660 00:45:10,260 --> 00:45:12,000 Yeah, only help they can get. 661 00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:13,280 I'll see you later. 662 00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:16,980 Not you, Nick Rowan. 663 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:18,540 I want a word with you. 664 00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:43,340 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you'll all agree that tonight's show has been 665 00:46:43,340 --> 00:46:44,500 absolutely wonderful. 666 00:46:56,740 --> 00:47:01,620 And the proceeds are going to a very special little boy who I've gotten to 667 00:47:01,620 --> 00:47:02,660 rather well this evening. 668 00:47:02,960 --> 00:47:04,260 Danny, take a bow. 669 00:47:11,850 --> 00:47:13,610 Right, son, I think I've earned a pint. 670 00:47:14,450 --> 00:47:15,450 Oh, 671 00:47:16,010 --> 00:47:17,150 poor, poor, put me back. 672 00:47:18,370 --> 00:47:19,970 Oh, put me back. 673 00:47:20,910 --> 00:47:21,910 Hello? 674 00:47:22,510 --> 00:47:23,570 Hello, is anybody there? 675 00:47:23,810 --> 00:47:25,870 Come and give me a hand, I've done me... Oh, 676 00:47:26,810 --> 00:47:28,110 don't just stand there, you deaf demon. 677 00:47:28,410 --> 00:47:30,970 I can be Father Christmas, you can be Lassie, go and fetch out. 678 00:47:31,670 --> 00:47:37,290 Well, we've heard from the performers and Dr Rowan now informs me it's our 679 00:47:37,490 --> 00:47:40,070 So will you please join me in a chorus of White Christmas? 680 00:47:40,700 --> 00:47:41,700 Thank you, Claire. 681 00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:42,580 Chef's nuts roasting on an open fire. 682 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:48,880 Jack Frost nipping at your nose. 683 00:48:52,820 --> 00:48:56,920 Yuletide carols being sung... Hello? 684 00:48:58,100 --> 00:48:59,920 Is anybody there? 685 00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:06,280 Well, don't just stand there wanking your tail. Go get help. 686 00:49:08,520 --> 00:49:09,520 Hello? 687 00:49:10,820 --> 00:49:11,820 Hello? 688 00:49:12,220 --> 00:49:13,220 Hello? 689 00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:18,760 Oh dear, oh dear. 690 00:49:18,980 --> 00:49:20,820 What a way to spend Christmas. 691 00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:24,658 Oh, 692 00:49:24,660 --> 00:49:32,980 isn't 693 00:49:32,980 --> 00:49:33,980 it beautiful? 694 00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:35,580 Be careful. Look at her. 695 00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,720 So is she really going to take them to Switzerland? 696 00:49:55,460 --> 00:49:56,460 Apparently. 697 00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:58,140 What did you do to her? 698 00:49:58,760 --> 00:50:02,520 I thought you said she wouldn't budge. Yeah, well, she must have seen the 699 00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:03,520 of Christmas. 700 00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:07,900 I'm sorry about later. 701 00:50:08,780 --> 00:50:10,400 So much for being on our own. 702 00:50:11,980 --> 00:50:13,860 If they do the washing up, I'll forgive you. 703 00:50:14,140 --> 00:50:17,960 All right. I have one question, though, about that turkey. 704 00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:20,880 Yeah, well, I met the butcher. 705 00:50:21,390 --> 00:50:23,250 Uh -huh. It's all that one guy over there. 706 00:50:24,070 --> 00:50:25,190 I don't blame him, no. 707 00:50:26,310 --> 00:50:27,310 What do you think? 708 00:50:27,950 --> 00:50:31,330 Well, you'd better be extra nice to me between now and Christmas Day, or I 709 00:50:31,330 --> 00:50:32,670 just forget and let it slip. 710 00:50:33,690 --> 00:50:35,370 Blackmail is a very serious offence. 711 00:50:36,570 --> 00:50:38,010 I'll come quietly, Gov. 712 00:50:41,490 --> 00:50:43,230 Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. 713 00:50:53,900 --> 00:50:54,900 Kisses me. 714 00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:07,140 Heartbeat. Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? 715 00:51:13,100 --> 00:51:15,940 Riddle it back and sing to me. 53962

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