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1
00:00:04,112 --> 00:00:06,375
- Previously on
"Resident Alien"...
2
00:00:06,418 --> 00:00:08,159
- There is a deadly mantid
running around.
3
00:00:08,203 --> 00:00:09,682
- I called in
Agent Jules Gardner
4
00:00:09,726 --> 00:00:11,032
to assist us
in the investigation.
5
00:00:11,075 --> 00:00:13,425
- This has serial killer
written all over it.
6
00:00:13,469 --> 00:00:15,210
I'm sure we'll catch
whoever it is in no time.
7
00:00:15,253 --> 00:00:16,863
- [screeches]
[body thuds]
8
00:00:16,907 --> 00:00:19,692
- I killed a mantid.
Ate his guts.
9
00:00:19,736 --> 00:00:22,347
- I will take two boxes.
- And this is yours, too.
10
00:00:22,391 --> 00:00:24,088
We don't even need that
implant to watch you.
11
00:00:24,132 --> 00:00:26,264
We're watching you anyway.
We're everywhere.
12
00:00:26,308 --> 00:00:28,092
- The Greys show up looking
for her, we'll see them.
13
00:00:28,136 --> 00:00:29,354
I set up indoor cameras.
14
00:00:29,398 --> 00:00:30,573
I don't know where she is.
15
00:00:30,616 --> 00:00:32,096
I want you to meet your kids.
16
00:00:32,140 --> 00:00:33,967
- Heather,
I'm actually a human.
17
00:00:34,011 --> 00:00:35,186
What?
18
00:00:35,230 --> 00:00:37,232
- You deserve to have
what we had before.
19
00:00:37,275 --> 00:00:38,842
I can no longer give you that.
20
00:00:40,365 --> 00:00:43,238
[Blue Northern's "Can't Stop"]
21
00:00:43,281 --> 00:00:48,112
♪
22
00:00:48,156 --> 00:00:51,072
Running has existed in the
universe for billions of years
23
00:00:51,115 --> 00:00:53,857
as a necessary part
of a creature's survival.
24
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:57,643
Modern humans do this too,
but they call it jogging.
25
00:00:57,687 --> 00:01:00,733
- ♪ Well, I can't stop my
feelings from running away ♪
26
00:01:00,777 --> 00:01:03,823
♪ I can't stop
27
00:01:03,867 --> 00:01:05,869
- If a human from
a million years ago
28
00:01:05,912 --> 00:01:07,305
saw us running for fun,
29
00:01:07,349 --> 00:01:10,134
he would laugh and laugh
until the sound brought
30
00:01:10,178 --> 00:01:12,049
a woolly mammoth to eat him.
31
00:01:12,093 --> 00:01:13,746
♪ I just can't stop
32
00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:16,749
[cars honking]
33
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,536
- You're in the middle
of the road!
34
00:01:20,579 --> 00:01:23,539
[Brown Bird's "Bilgewater"]
35
00:01:23,582 --> 00:01:26,672
[laid-back acoustic strumming]
36
00:01:26,716 --> 00:01:30,981
♪
37
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:35,028
♪ If your sweetheart
38
00:01:35,072 --> 00:01:38,945
♪ Sends a letter
39
00:01:38,989 --> 00:01:40,556
♪ Of goodbye
40
00:01:40,599 --> 00:01:42,471
Hmm, hmm, hmm.
41
00:01:42,514 --> 00:01:44,386
Because humans have
diminished mental capacity
42
00:01:44,429 --> 00:01:48,041
and bad eyesight, we must hang
giant reminders for ourselves.
43
00:01:48,085 --> 00:01:50,218
How else will I remember
where the incredibly
44
00:01:50,261 --> 00:01:52,568
huge body of water is?
45
00:01:52,611 --> 00:01:54,657
- ♪ --if you cry
46
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,615
- And if you can show
your life is better
47
00:01:56,659 --> 00:01:59,140
than everyone else's,
you win humaning.
48
00:01:59,183 --> 00:02:00,793
♪ When waking
49
00:02:00,837 --> 00:02:02,230
#MyOfficeToday.
50
00:02:02,273 --> 00:02:03,970
#LakeLife.
51
00:02:04,014 --> 00:02:05,189
#Lake.
52
00:02:05,233 --> 00:02:07,148
#Life.
53
00:02:07,191 --> 00:02:10,890
#Blessed.
54
00:02:10,934 --> 00:02:12,457
[phone chimes]
55
00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:15,504
FootGuy1172 has
already liked it.
56
00:02:15,547 --> 00:02:17,245
Oh.
57
00:02:20,987 --> 00:02:23,642
I am doing
everything humans do.
58
00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:26,819
So why am I feeling
empty inside?
59
00:02:26,863 --> 00:02:29,953
Do all humans feel this way
when they are alone?
60
00:02:29,996 --> 00:02:33,478
I made up a word for it--
alone-liness.
61
00:02:33,522 --> 00:02:35,828
I think most humans
are alone-ly.
62
00:02:35,872 --> 00:02:38,222
That is why so many people
believe in aliens.
63
00:02:38,266 --> 00:02:42,095
It is comforting for them
to know they are not alone.
64
00:02:42,139 --> 00:02:44,533
- Which is exactly why
Peter Bach created
65
00:02:44,576 --> 00:02:46,535
the Alien Tracker podcast.
66
00:02:46,578 --> 00:02:48,928
As you know,
Peter passed away last year,
67
00:02:48,972 --> 00:02:52,062
but I am proud
to continue his legacy.
68
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,672
I am Liv Baker.
69
00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:56,980
And welcome again to my
podcast, "Alien Cracker,"
70
00:02:57,023 --> 00:02:58,982
where I will discuss aliens,
71
00:02:59,025 --> 00:03:01,767
as well as the best
cheese and cracker pairings.
72
00:03:06,250 --> 00:03:07,860
[munching]
73
00:03:07,904 --> 00:03:09,514
Mmm.
74
00:03:09,558 --> 00:03:12,952
Today, I am trying a delicious
rosemary wheat cracker
75
00:03:12,996 --> 00:03:16,347
with a Vermont goat cheese
as I discuss the search
76
00:03:16,391 --> 00:03:18,828
for Peter Bach's son, Robert.
77
00:03:18,871 --> 00:03:22,179
But first,
a word from our sponsor.
78
00:03:22,223 --> 00:03:25,835
[clears throat]
Hey, alien lovers.
79
00:03:25,878 --> 00:03:28,751
Maybe the moon isn't
made of cheese.
80
00:03:28,794 --> 00:03:32,798
But our Vermont Select
holiday platter is.
81
00:03:32,842 --> 00:03:35,758
[quirky music]
82
00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:37,542
- Cracker?
- Oh. No, thank you.
83
00:03:37,586 --> 00:03:39,283
I don't eat appetizers
in closets.
84
00:03:39,327 --> 00:03:41,807
That's stretch-out food.
85
00:03:41,851 --> 00:03:43,374
What are you doing?
86
00:03:43,418 --> 00:03:45,898
- I'm just recording
my podcast,
87
00:03:45,942 --> 00:03:48,379
trying to find the
Alien Tracker's son, Robert.
88
00:03:48,423 --> 00:03:51,121
I'll pack my stuff up and go.
89
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,079
No, no, no, no, no.
90
00:03:53,123 --> 00:03:54,994
You stay.
91
00:03:55,038 --> 00:03:57,388
I'm headed over to the 59.
92
00:03:57,432 --> 00:03:59,129
I think it's good
you're getting the word out.
93
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,391
I mean, all this--
94
00:04:00,435 --> 00:04:02,437
this alien stuff,
it's all connected somehow.
95
00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:05,309
So maybe, if we find Robert,
we can find Joseph.
96
00:04:05,353 --> 00:04:07,485
Yeah.
Good work, Deputy.
97
00:04:07,529 --> 00:04:10,923
- It's so good
to hear you say that,
98
00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:14,100
to know I finally have
a partner in this.
99
00:04:14,144 --> 00:04:16,277
Yeah.
100
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,714
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Easy! Easy, Deputy.
101
00:04:18,757 --> 00:04:19,976
Haven't you read
the HR pamphlet?
102
00:04:20,019 --> 00:04:21,456
We can't be hugging
in no closets.
103
00:04:21,499 --> 00:04:24,067
Big no-no.
Big-ass no-no.
104
00:04:24,110 --> 00:04:25,677
No, no, no, no, no.
105
00:04:25,721 --> 00:04:27,418
No, no.
106
00:04:27,462 --> 00:04:30,465
[bluesy rock music playing]
107
00:04:30,508 --> 00:04:33,337
♪ Let love come to you
108
00:04:33,381 --> 00:04:35,296
♪ Let love come to you
109
00:04:35,339 --> 00:04:36,427
♪ I don't need to go
110
00:04:36,471 --> 00:04:39,387
♪ Let love come to you
111
00:04:39,430 --> 00:04:42,303
♪ Let love come to you
112
00:04:42,346 --> 00:04:45,306
♪ Let love come to you
113
00:04:45,349 --> 00:04:47,177
♪ Let love come to you
114
00:04:47,220 --> 00:04:49,440
[cheers and applause]
115
00:04:49,484 --> 00:04:51,355
- We'll be right back.
Thank you.
116
00:04:51,399 --> 00:04:53,357
- Humans are
just like animals.
117
00:04:53,401 --> 00:04:55,577
Both are drawn
to communal areas.
118
00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:58,667
This is why bars are
called watering holes.
119
00:04:58,710 --> 00:05:01,452
Bars are also called church
so that Irish men
120
00:05:01,496 --> 00:05:04,629
do not have to lie
to their wives.
121
00:05:04,673 --> 00:05:06,327
- Well, look who it is.
The good doctor.
122
00:05:06,370 --> 00:05:08,024
- You are alone-ly, too.
123
00:05:08,067 --> 00:05:10,679
I will sit with you,
and we can hide
124
00:05:10,722 --> 00:05:14,291
from the cold,
desperate pain of alone-liness.
125
00:05:14,335 --> 00:05:15,466
- Man, if you're
trying to say lonely,
126
00:05:15,510 --> 00:05:16,989
I'm the opposite of that.
127
00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:19,862
I have the aching needs
of an entire community on me.
128
00:05:19,905 --> 00:05:21,646
If it wasn't
for my ethical standards,
129
00:05:21,690 --> 00:05:23,387
I'd never pay for another
drink in my life.
130
00:05:23,431 --> 00:05:26,825
- Pro tip-- you can also get
that by wearing a miniskirt.
131
00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:29,001
I see you discovered
social media.
132
00:05:29,045 --> 00:05:31,134
I followed you.
You're welcome.
133
00:05:31,177 --> 00:05:33,136
#Beer.
134
00:05:33,179 --> 00:05:37,358
#TurnOnAllTheSportsGames.
135
00:05:37,401 --> 00:05:39,447
Unfollow.
136
00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:41,405
- Hey, you still
having kickoff karaoke here
137
00:05:41,449 --> 00:05:43,059
before
the Mining Days festival?
138
00:05:43,102 --> 00:05:45,409
- Why, are you thinking about
bribing a judge or something?
139
00:05:45,453 --> 00:05:49,195
- [laughs]
That's ridiculous.
140
00:05:49,239 --> 00:05:50,501
[laughs]
141
00:05:50,545 --> 00:05:53,461
The category is
'80s power ballads.
142
00:05:53,504 --> 00:05:55,419
'80s power ballads.
143
00:05:55,463 --> 00:05:57,943
Mm-hmm.
144
00:05:59,423 --> 00:06:01,207
Hey, Doc, check it out.
145
00:06:01,251 --> 00:06:04,036
Looks like that nice lady over
there has got eyes for you.
146
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,082
I already have eyes.
147
00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:08,345
- Go talk to her.
Tell her you're a doctor.
148
00:06:08,389 --> 00:06:10,303
Women love that.
149
00:06:10,347 --> 00:06:13,306
- Perhaps this is the answer
to my alone-liness.
150
00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:15,221
I will do what humans do--
151
00:06:15,265 --> 00:06:19,443
find a partner who will spend
their life trying to fix me.
152
00:06:19,487 --> 00:06:22,359
Hello.
153
00:06:22,403 --> 00:06:26,232
I'm Harry.
I'm the town doctor.
154
00:06:26,276 --> 00:06:28,104
I know a lot of doctor things.
155
00:06:28,147 --> 00:06:30,411
- Really?
I'm Lydia.
156
00:06:30,454 --> 00:06:31,890
I work in the bookstore.
157
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:36,155
And I know a lot
of book things.
158
00:06:38,027 --> 00:06:40,421
And I know a handsome man
when I see one.
159
00:06:40,464 --> 00:06:42,074
- Handsome?
Me?
160
00:06:42,118 --> 00:06:44,729
Oh, I don't know.
I used to think so.
161
00:06:44,773 --> 00:06:47,993
But lately, I don't know
about this nose and this--
162
00:06:48,037 --> 00:06:49,430
this neck skin.
163
00:06:49,473 --> 00:06:51,910
[laughs]
164
00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:53,999
Mm.
165
00:06:54,043 --> 00:06:56,480
So, doctor, hmm?
166
00:06:56,524 --> 00:06:59,483
- Do you enjoy it?
- Not very much.
167
00:06:59,527 --> 00:07:01,267
But you would
if we were a couple.
168
00:07:01,311 --> 00:07:02,486
- Oh.
And why is that?
169
00:07:02,530 --> 00:07:04,749
- Because doctors
are good at sex,
170
00:07:04,793 --> 00:07:07,273
because doctors have
seen lots of vaginas.
171
00:07:07,317 --> 00:07:08,797
What?
172
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,756
- Doctors have seen
so many vaginas.
173
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,672
I swear, you cannot
swing a stethoscope
174
00:07:14,716 --> 00:07:17,153
- in my office without seeing--
- I heard you.
175
00:07:17,196 --> 00:07:18,589
- --a vagina.
176
00:07:18,633 --> 00:07:20,678
This morning, a woman came in.
177
00:07:20,722 --> 00:07:22,419
Bam!
Vagina.
178
00:07:22,463 --> 00:07:23,942
- [laughs]
OK, man.
179
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:26,510
I'm just leaving
with my friend here.
180
00:07:26,554 --> 00:07:28,294
My friend's drunk on stupid.
181
00:07:28,338 --> 00:07:29,905
[zipper whirs]
182
00:07:29,948 --> 00:07:31,428
Wait, wait.
183
00:07:31,472 --> 00:07:33,386
So what the hell are you doing,
talking about vaginas?
184
00:07:33,430 --> 00:07:37,129
- I am just looking for a mate
so that I'm no longer lonely--
185
00:07:37,173 --> 00:07:38,522
alone-ly-- loney.
186
00:07:38,566 --> 00:07:40,916
I'm-- I'm alone.
187
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:42,395
- Well, this ain't
how you do it, all right?
188
00:07:42,439 --> 00:07:43,571
If you want something real,
189
00:07:43,614 --> 00:07:45,007
you're better off
building a foundation--
190
00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:47,531
you know, taking your time,
like I did with Lena.
191
00:07:47,575 --> 00:07:48,967
But don't take too much time,
192
00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:50,186
'cause then you get
friend zoned.
193
00:07:50,229 --> 00:07:51,492
What is friend zoned?
194
00:07:51,535 --> 00:07:54,016
- [laughs]
Oh, what is friend zoned?
195
00:07:54,059 --> 00:07:57,149
It's like you're outside
a cupcake shop, right?
196
00:07:57,193 --> 00:07:58,716
And the line is real long,
but you wait,
197
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:00,675
'cause those cupcakes
are great.
198
00:08:00,718 --> 00:08:02,503
And you finally get in,
but now the cupcake's
199
00:08:02,546 --> 00:08:04,505
sleeping with somebody who
slipped in the back door.
200
00:08:04,548 --> 00:08:06,332
- Ho-ho!
- Mm-hmm.
201
00:08:06,376 --> 00:08:07,638
Thank you.
202
00:08:07,682 --> 00:08:09,031
I'm going to go
tell Lydia that I'd like
203
00:08:09,074 --> 00:08:10,423
- to slip in her back door.
- No, no!
204
00:08:10,467 --> 00:08:11,990
No, no, no.
205
00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:13,688
Forget Lydia, please,
before she calls the cops.
206
00:08:13,731 --> 00:08:15,254
I don't want to have
to arrest you.
207
00:08:15,298 --> 00:08:16,778
I still got half a beer left.
208
00:08:18,736 --> 00:08:20,216
Lord have mercy.
209
00:08:20,259 --> 00:08:21,609
[door clicks]
210
00:08:21,652 --> 00:08:24,568
[soft music]
211
00:08:24,612 --> 00:08:28,703
♪
212
00:08:28,746 --> 00:08:31,357
- ♪ Moving on,
so long, my darling ♪
213
00:08:31,401 --> 00:08:33,185
♪ There's no hurry
214
00:08:33,229 --> 00:08:35,710
- Oh.
Oh.
215
00:08:35,753 --> 00:08:37,450
Hey.
Did I miss my dad playing?
216
00:08:37,494 --> 00:08:38,887
Just the first set.
217
00:08:38,930 --> 00:08:42,586
But you somehow still manage
to look so beautiful.
218
00:08:42,630 --> 00:08:44,675
- OK, I told you,
we are not getting a dog.
219
00:08:44,719 --> 00:08:46,547
- Oh, that's right.
Sorry.
220
00:08:46,590 --> 00:08:48,026
I already submitted
an application
221
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:49,680
for that place in Jessup, so--
222
00:08:49,724 --> 00:08:50,855
- No.
- Yeah.
223
00:08:50,899 --> 00:08:52,814
- D'arcy.
- Oops.
224
00:08:52,857 --> 00:08:54,685
Hey, you guys were great.
225
00:08:54,729 --> 00:08:56,818
I was here behind,
uh, someone tall.
226
00:08:56,861 --> 00:08:58,210
Just in time.
227
00:08:58,254 --> 00:09:01,387
Maybe you can talk some
sense into your father.
228
00:09:01,431 --> 00:09:03,041
- OK.
Um, what?
229
00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:05,435
You swearing off pie now, too?
230
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:08,003
- Just cake and cookies,
never pie.
231
00:09:08,046 --> 00:09:10,179
- See? You and Harry are more
alike than you think.
232
00:09:10,222 --> 00:09:11,528
What did Sampson mean?
233
00:09:11,572 --> 00:09:13,748
- He submitted our stuff
to some music festival,
234
00:09:13,791 --> 00:09:15,358
and we got in.
235
00:09:15,401 --> 00:09:17,403
Now he thinks I can just pick
up and hit the road with him
236
00:09:17,447 --> 00:09:19,101
for a week like we're 19.
237
00:09:19,144 --> 00:09:21,407
- Dad, that's great.
- Really?
238
00:09:21,451 --> 00:09:24,541
Because I'm not 19.
I'm 119.
239
00:09:24,585 --> 00:09:26,761
- And I have a job.
- Are you sure?
240
00:09:26,804 --> 00:09:28,763
You should go.
241
00:09:28,806 --> 00:09:30,634
Plus, I could watch the diner.
242
00:09:30,678 --> 00:09:32,767
- You already have a job.
- Yeah.
243
00:09:32,810 --> 00:09:35,073
And the clinic is
just a stone's throw away
244
00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:37,032
from the diner,
which I literally know
245
00:09:37,075 --> 00:09:38,642
from that time
that D'arcy got drunk,
246
00:09:38,686 --> 00:09:40,688
and she bet some guy in front
of the diner that she could
247
00:09:40,731 --> 00:09:43,604
hit the clinic with a rock.
248
00:09:43,647 --> 00:09:45,257
- I appreciate it,
but no thanks.
249
00:09:45,301 --> 00:09:47,651
- Come on.
- My fans are waiting.
250
00:09:47,695 --> 00:09:49,566
I gotta get ready
for the next set.
251
00:09:49,610 --> 00:09:51,873
OK.
252
00:09:51,916 --> 00:09:54,527
♪ 'Cause I'm waiting
253
00:09:54,571 --> 00:09:56,442
I can't believe my dad.
254
00:09:56,486 --> 00:09:58,531
He doesn't trust me to watch
the diner for a week.
255
00:09:58,575 --> 00:10:01,012
I mean, it's right down
the street from the clinic.
256
00:10:01,056 --> 00:10:02,753
A stone's throw away.
257
00:10:02,797 --> 00:10:04,668
That's what I said.
258
00:10:04,712 --> 00:10:06,104
Sometimes I think
he still just sees me
259
00:10:06,148 --> 00:10:08,106
as this little girl that
used to sit at the counter
260
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:10,282
with crayons instead
of a capable adult
261
00:10:10,326 --> 00:10:12,110
who has a job
and lives on her own.
262
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:14,460
- Well, you live with me.
- Not if you get a dog.
263
00:10:14,504 --> 00:10:16,593
- Asta!
Asta.
264
00:10:16,637 --> 00:10:17,681
Asta!
265
00:10:17,725 --> 00:10:19,640
Whoa!
266
00:10:19,683 --> 00:10:23,165
Asta, will you marry me?
267
00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:24,253
What?
268
00:10:24,296 --> 00:10:25,820
- Dog not looking
so bad now, is it?
269
00:10:29,301 --> 00:10:30,563
Wow.
270
00:10:30,607 --> 00:10:33,175
Two alien proposals
in one month.
271
00:10:33,218 --> 00:10:35,133
I can't get a normal date,
but suddenly
272
00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:37,962
I'm the belle
of the alien ball.
273
00:10:38,006 --> 00:10:39,790
I'm not an alien anymore.
274
00:10:39,834 --> 00:10:43,533
I'm just a human man trying
to backdoor a human woman.
275
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,056
What?
276
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,058
No, look, never mind.
277
00:10:47,102 --> 00:10:50,453
Thank you for these flowers.
But why did you propose to me?
278
00:10:50,496 --> 00:10:52,803
- Because I don't
want to be alone.
279
00:10:52,847 --> 00:10:55,763
[somber music]
280
00:10:55,806 --> 00:10:57,721
Oh.
281
00:10:57,765 --> 00:11:00,637
♪
282
00:11:00,681 --> 00:11:01,812
Harry.
283
00:11:03,988 --> 00:11:07,078
- When I was with Heather and
my bird babies, I felt so full.
284
00:11:07,122 --> 00:11:10,255
I felt whole.
285
00:11:10,299 --> 00:11:12,780
They're gone.
286
00:11:12,823 --> 00:11:14,869
But...
287
00:11:14,912 --> 00:11:18,350
I still want a family.
288
00:11:18,394 --> 00:11:20,744
- Well, you have family.
You have Bridget.
289
00:11:20,788 --> 00:11:23,442
I know how much
he means to you.
290
00:11:23,486 --> 00:11:25,618
- I do like my Bridget.
- Yeah.
291
00:11:25,662 --> 00:11:28,709
- In the mornings,
he is so cute.
292
00:11:28,752 --> 00:11:32,451
Sometimes, I just want
to punch him in the throat!
293
00:11:32,495 --> 00:11:34,802
- [laughs]
- Hmm?
294
00:11:34,845 --> 00:11:38,980
- That's how my father
showed affection.
295
00:11:39,023 --> 00:11:40,590
Oh, OK.
296
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:45,726
Well, maybe you should
spend more time with him.
297
00:11:45,769 --> 00:11:48,467
And take these flowers back
to the fake flower store.
298
00:11:48,511 --> 00:11:50,556
- Hmm?
- Oh.
299
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,777
They're not from a store.
I got them from a grave.
300
00:11:53,821 --> 00:11:55,257
Asta is right.
301
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:56,693
The connection
I have with Bridget
302
00:11:56,737 --> 00:11:59,174
is as strong as any
I could get with a mate.
303
00:11:59,217 --> 00:12:02,177
[quirky music]
304
00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:04,527
♪
305
00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:06,834
When I was an alien,
I thought being a father
306
00:12:06,877 --> 00:12:09,314
was just freezing your child
in the ice wind desert
307
00:12:09,358 --> 00:12:11,012
and kicking him in the face.
308
00:12:11,055 --> 00:12:15,364
But now it feels like
there is so much more.
309
00:12:15,407 --> 00:12:16,539
- Ready for this?
- Ready for what?
310
00:12:16,582 --> 00:12:18,106
- Watch this.
Watch this.
311
00:12:18,149 --> 00:12:19,672
- Wham!
- Aww.
312
00:12:19,716 --> 00:12:21,718
Give up!
313
00:12:21,762 --> 00:12:23,111
Hello?
314
00:12:23,154 --> 00:12:24,286
You gotta be kidding me.
315
00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:25,635
I can't believe you won again.
316
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:27,028
- You want to try again?
- Ridiculous.
317
00:12:27,071 --> 00:12:28,899
- Hello?
- You just got got.
318
00:12:28,943 --> 00:12:31,075
[Bridget coos]
319
00:12:31,119 --> 00:12:32,555
This could be good.
320
00:12:32,598 --> 00:12:33,730
What better way
to bond with my child
321
00:12:33,774 --> 00:12:35,427
than meeting his friends?
322
00:12:35,471 --> 00:12:37,342
This will be fun.
323
00:12:37,386 --> 00:12:38,953
Who's the dork?
324
00:12:38,996 --> 00:12:41,869
Ah, Bridget's dad.
325
00:12:41,912 --> 00:12:44,915
- I'm sure it will
still be a little fun.
326
00:12:46,874 --> 00:12:48,179
- Hey.
- Hmm?
327
00:12:48,223 --> 00:12:50,051
- Did you know
Liv had a podcast?
328
00:12:50,094 --> 00:12:51,443
Yeah.
329
00:12:51,487 --> 00:12:53,445
I think, uh, it's about
her Alien Tracker friend.
330
00:12:53,489 --> 00:12:54,969
She does it in
the supply closet at work.
331
00:12:55,012 --> 00:12:56,884
I'm actually in the background
of an episode
332
00:12:56,927 --> 00:12:58,581
- looking for staples.
- Listen to this.
333
00:12:58,624 --> 00:13:00,626
- Are aliens
harvesting souls?
334
00:13:00,670 --> 00:13:02,411
We don't know,
but at Smith Farm Stand,
335
00:13:02,454 --> 00:13:03,847
we harvest
the freshest vegetables.
336
00:13:03,891 --> 00:13:05,370
Not that.
337
00:13:05,414 --> 00:13:07,808
- Although the Alien Tracker
is no longer with us,
338
00:13:07,851 --> 00:13:10,854
the search for his son,
Robert, continues.
339
00:13:10,898 --> 00:13:13,857
- Apparently, he was abducted
from his mother's womb
340
00:13:13,901 --> 00:13:15,380
before he was born.
341
00:13:15,424 --> 00:13:16,729
Sound familiar?
342
00:13:16,773 --> 00:13:17,992
Hmm.
343
00:13:18,035 --> 00:13:20,081
- I think it's time
we talk to Liv.
344
00:13:20,124 --> 00:13:21,909
- Wait, are-- are you sure?
345
00:13:21,952 --> 00:13:23,432
I thought you were worried
about Mike getting in the way.
346
00:13:23,475 --> 00:13:25,477
- Oh, Mike can't know.
Just Liv.
347
00:13:25,521 --> 00:13:27,784
She says that she
has information
348
00:13:27,828 --> 00:13:29,481
she can't share
with the public.
349
00:13:29,525 --> 00:13:32,658
Maybe it's something that
can help us get our baby.
350
00:13:32,702 --> 00:13:35,183
You know, with those little
freak alien girls watching us,
351
00:13:35,226 --> 00:13:36,837
it's just getting
more dangerous.
352
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,012
Mm.
353
00:13:40,405 --> 00:13:42,886
- Are those cookies
from the alien girl?
354
00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:45,323
♪
355
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:47,238
Well, they're still cookies.
356
00:13:47,282 --> 00:13:54,376
♪
357
00:14:01,731 --> 00:14:04,473
And I said, nice try.
358
00:14:04,516 --> 00:14:06,779
My mom would never do that.
359
00:14:06,823 --> 00:14:08,869
[laughter]
360
00:14:08,912 --> 00:14:10,479
- I know a couple
of Decathroids
361
00:14:10,522 --> 00:14:12,176
- who would say different.
- [laughs]
362
00:14:12,220 --> 00:14:15,310
- I'll Decathroid your hidden
third eye if you don't shut up.
363
00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:16,920
- All right.
Chill.
364
00:14:16,964 --> 00:14:20,315
- Look, the point is,
the ship exploded,
365
00:14:20,358 --> 00:14:23,753
and I won 40 million sonira.
366
00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:24,928
Boom!
367
00:14:24,972 --> 00:14:27,365
- That's like
six American dollars.
368
00:14:27,409 --> 00:14:29,106
[speaking alien language]
369
00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:30,760
- What?
- [grumbles]
370
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:32,240
Do not roll your eyes at me.
371
00:14:32,283 --> 00:14:33,502
[grumbles]
372
00:14:33,545 --> 00:14:35,460
- Let's just change
the subject, OK?
373
00:14:35,504 --> 00:14:38,028
Let's talk about, um, sport.
374
00:14:38,072 --> 00:14:40,204
- Homo sapiens sports
are boring.
375
00:14:40,248 --> 00:14:41,597
No one ever gets killed.
376
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:42,903
- If you're playing
with a ball,
377
00:14:42,946 --> 00:14:45,557
and it's not even on fire,
why should I care?
378
00:14:45,601 --> 00:14:47,995
- Because that's what
polite conversation is.
379
00:14:48,038 --> 00:14:50,475
You pretend to be interested
in what someone is saying.
380
00:14:50,519 --> 00:14:52,695
Mm.
Mm.
381
00:14:52,738 --> 00:14:54,523
Mm.
Yeah, even if they're boring.
382
00:14:54,566 --> 00:14:56,481
Mm, mm, mm.
383
00:14:56,525 --> 00:14:58,353
- Like you right now.
[laughter]
384
00:14:58,396 --> 00:15:01,443
Oh, that is so funny.
385
00:15:01,486 --> 00:15:03,097
You are supposed
to eat the outside
386
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:05,142
of the olive, not the pit!
387
00:15:05,186 --> 00:15:07,536
And your shirt is not a napkin.
388
00:15:07,579 --> 00:15:09,494
- Dude, it's a poker game,
not a tea party.
389
00:15:09,538 --> 00:15:10,843
- Actually, it stopped
being a poker game
390
00:15:10,887 --> 00:15:13,281
when I realized you were
all reading my mind.
391
00:15:13,324 --> 00:15:14,717
That's cheating!
392
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,719
- It's not our fault
you're a human now.
393
00:15:19,591 --> 00:15:22,594
[laughter]
394
00:15:22,638 --> 00:15:24,945
Stop speaking telepathically!
395
00:15:24,988 --> 00:15:27,382
You know,
you are very rude guests.
396
00:15:27,425 --> 00:15:31,342
- Relax.
Stop being such a Ho-sape.
397
00:15:31,386 --> 00:15:33,431
How dare you.
398
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,346
That is our word, OK?
399
00:15:35,390 --> 00:15:37,827
You're not allowed
to use that word.
400
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,220
That's it.
This game is over.
401
00:15:39,263 --> 00:15:40,482
Everybody out!
402
00:15:40,525 --> 00:15:41,962
OK, Dad.
403
00:15:42,005 --> 00:15:44,529
- Let's go back to my place.
I just got a fish tank.
404
00:15:44,573 --> 00:15:46,575
- Great.
We're taking the table with us.
405
00:15:46,618 --> 00:15:48,577
- See you later, Hume.
- Oh, no!
406
00:15:48,620 --> 00:15:50,057
See, that's also problematic!
407
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,972
- Mm-hmm.
408
00:15:52,015 --> 00:15:54,496
- [babbling]
- I do not care!
409
00:15:54,539 --> 00:15:56,367
You do not need
friends like that.
410
00:15:56,411 --> 00:15:58,413
You have me.
I'm your father.
411
00:15:58,456 --> 00:15:59,762
I am all you need.
412
00:15:59,805 --> 00:16:01,851
[speaking alien language]
413
00:16:01,894 --> 00:16:04,810
- Wait.
You do not run away from me!
414
00:16:04,854 --> 00:16:06,769
Do not slam that door,
young man--
415
00:16:06,812 --> 00:16:08,466
[door slams]
Son of a bitch!
416
00:16:11,817 --> 00:16:13,906
♪ Cosmic
417
00:16:13,950 --> 00:16:15,038
♪ Up by the sun
418
00:16:15,082 --> 00:16:16,213
Good morning.
419
00:16:16,257 --> 00:16:20,087
♪ Moon's gonna shine on me
420
00:16:20,130 --> 00:16:22,263
Why are you here?
421
00:16:22,306 --> 00:16:24,221
- Someone has to watch
the diner while you
422
00:16:24,265 --> 00:16:26,049
go play the music festival.
423
00:16:26,093 --> 00:16:28,182
Asta, we talked about this.
424
00:16:28,225 --> 00:16:30,053
- You have a job.
- Yes.
425
00:16:30,097 --> 00:16:31,533
And I can do both.
426
00:16:31,576 --> 00:16:32,751
I can open the diner,
427
00:16:32,795 --> 00:16:33,883
and then I can go
check in at the clinic,
428
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,058
and then I can come back
to the diner.
429
00:16:35,102 --> 00:16:36,451
It's great exercise.
430
00:16:36,494 --> 00:16:38,670
- Asta--
- Talking is over, OK?
431
00:16:38,714 --> 00:16:40,020
You're going.
432
00:16:40,063 --> 00:16:41,282
'Cause soon,
you'll be an elder.
433
00:16:41,325 --> 00:16:44,067
- Whoa.
Stop throwing that word around.
434
00:16:44,111 --> 00:16:45,764
I'm not an elder yet.
435
00:16:45,808 --> 00:16:47,723
Well, soon, you will be one.
436
00:16:47,766 --> 00:16:49,855
And you'll be too busy
with opening prayers
437
00:16:49,899 --> 00:16:51,292
and land acknowledgments.
438
00:16:51,335 --> 00:16:53,033
There'll be no time
for hitting the road, old man.
439
00:16:53,076 --> 00:16:54,991
Right now,
you look like a rock star.
440
00:16:55,035 --> 00:16:56,993
Go be one.
441
00:16:57,037 --> 00:16:59,300
- I already told the band
I'm not going.
442
00:16:59,343 --> 00:17:03,652
- Well, I told them
you are going, hm?
443
00:17:03,695 --> 00:17:06,394
And I can take care
of the diner while you're gone.
444
00:17:06,437 --> 00:17:08,483
I've worked here
my whole life, on and off.
445
00:17:08,526 --> 00:17:11,007
- I know how things operate.
- When are the food deliveries?
446
00:17:11,051 --> 00:17:12,661
Tuesdays and Thursdays.
447
00:17:12,704 --> 00:17:14,315
Driver's name is Hal.
448
00:17:14,358 --> 00:17:16,621
I even have his number,
just in case there's a problem.
449
00:17:16,665 --> 00:17:19,059
Server and cook shift sheet
are in the office.
450
00:17:19,102 --> 00:17:22,149
Money bank drops are nightly.
And the payroll is Friday.
451
00:17:23,715 --> 00:17:25,152
Not bad.
452
00:17:28,155 --> 00:17:29,504
Have fun.
453
00:17:29,547 --> 00:17:32,115
[chuckles]
454
00:17:32,159 --> 00:17:33,551
This is empty.
455
00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:36,206
- It's symbolic.
You still have to pack.
456
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:38,600
- Rock stars don't
do their own packing.
457
00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:41,820
- [laughs]
It's gone to your head already.
458
00:17:41,864 --> 00:17:44,171
[laughs]
459
00:17:44,780 --> 00:17:47,304
- And I hate wearing
this dumb skin suit.
460
00:17:47,348 --> 00:17:49,480
- You complain too much,
Bridget.
461
00:17:49,524 --> 00:17:52,048
You wear your human suit
all the time.
462
00:17:52,092 --> 00:17:53,658
You just wore it yesterday.
463
00:17:53,702 --> 00:17:55,965
- Only because I had to go
to the store to refill my vape.
464
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,575
I told you, that is harmful.
465
00:17:57,619 --> 00:17:58,750
This is stupid!
466
00:17:58,794 --> 00:18:00,274
- It is not stupid
for a father to want
467
00:18:00,317 --> 00:18:02,058
to spend time with his son.
468
00:18:02,102 --> 00:18:05,017
- The weather is horrible.
It's windy.
469
00:18:05,061 --> 00:18:06,715
- Agh!
- You're freezing.
470
00:18:08,108 --> 00:18:09,892
The waves are making me sick.
471
00:18:09,935 --> 00:18:11,633
- I am not freezing.
I'm warm.
472
00:18:11,676 --> 00:18:13,069
And sick is good.
473
00:18:13,113 --> 00:18:14,679
You just throw up
over the side.
474
00:18:14,723 --> 00:18:17,421
It'll chum the waters.
475
00:18:17,465 --> 00:18:18,553
[chuckles]
476
00:18:18,596 --> 00:18:22,165
[dogs barking]
477
00:18:22,209 --> 00:18:24,167
How can I help you today?
478
00:18:24,211 --> 00:18:25,777
Hey.
479
00:18:25,821 --> 00:18:28,128
I put in an application
to adopt a dog from your site.
480
00:18:28,171 --> 00:18:29,433
Ruby.
481
00:18:29,477 --> 00:18:30,869
I hadn't heard back,
so I thought
482
00:18:30,913 --> 00:18:32,175
I'd just come in
and pick her up.
483
00:18:32,219 --> 00:18:33,698
The name's D'arcy Bloom.
484
00:18:33,742 --> 00:18:35,309
Well, let me see.
485
00:18:35,352 --> 00:18:37,093
It probably just got lost.
486
00:18:37,137 --> 00:18:40,314
We get backlogged here, so--
487
00:18:43,404 --> 00:18:47,495
I'm sorry.
Your application was rejected.
488
00:18:49,105 --> 00:18:50,541
What?
489
00:18:50,585 --> 00:18:54,806
- We got some bad feedback
from your references.
490
00:18:54,850 --> 00:18:56,852
You must be kidding.
491
00:18:56,895 --> 00:19:00,203
- We're just really strict
about where we place our dogs.
492
00:19:00,247 --> 00:19:02,553
It doesn't take much
for the computer
493
00:19:02,597 --> 00:19:06,209
to flag something,
even something small,
494
00:19:06,253 --> 00:19:09,865
like arrested
for public drunkenness
495
00:19:09,908 --> 00:19:12,389
and defacing a campus statue.
496
00:19:12,433 --> 00:19:15,044
- [scoffs] That was just
crazy college fun.
497
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,393
It was two months ago.
498
00:19:16,437 --> 00:19:19,353
- I didn't say
I was in college.
499
00:19:19,396 --> 00:19:21,920
- We need to make sure
we're moving our dogs
500
00:19:21,964 --> 00:19:25,141
into a better home.
501
00:19:25,185 --> 00:19:28,536
Better than a dog shelter?
502
00:19:28,579 --> 00:19:29,841
Yes.
503
00:19:29,885 --> 00:19:33,018
- So what you're saying is
that my life isn't
504
00:19:33,062 --> 00:19:36,239
good enough for a dog?
505
00:19:36,283 --> 00:19:37,893
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry about what?
506
00:19:37,936 --> 00:19:39,416
My life or the dog?
507
00:19:39,460 --> 00:19:41,853
- I guess both?
- Ah.
508
00:19:41,897 --> 00:19:43,725
Wow.
This is bullshit.
509
00:19:43,768 --> 00:19:45,944
This whole place is bullshit!
And you know it!
510
00:19:45,988 --> 00:19:47,294
I know.
511
00:19:47,337 --> 00:19:48,599
- What kind of hoops
do I have to jump through?
512
00:19:48,643 --> 00:19:50,384
You want me to do some tricks?
513
00:19:50,427 --> 00:19:52,647
- No.
- This is bullshit!
514
00:19:52,690 --> 00:19:54,562
[upbeat music]
515
00:19:54,605 --> 00:19:56,520
♪ Pretty girl
516
00:19:56,564 --> 00:19:57,826
♪ She should have--
517
00:19:57,869 --> 00:19:59,610
- Oh, hi, Susan.
Are you ready to order?
518
00:19:59,654 --> 00:20:01,177
- Looks like you're
in the wrong place.
519
00:20:01,221 --> 00:20:03,440
- I am just covering for my dad
while he's out of town.
520
00:20:03,484 --> 00:20:04,702
Oh, hey.
521
00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:05,921
Are you staying on top
of your medications?
522
00:20:05,964 --> 00:20:08,140
Cholesterol and diabetes.
523
00:20:08,184 --> 00:20:09,664
- Every day.
- Good.
524
00:20:09,707 --> 00:20:11,405
OK.
What can I get for you?
525
00:20:11,448 --> 00:20:15,278
- Double cheeseburger with
fries and a chocolate shake.
526
00:20:15,322 --> 00:20:18,455
- Um, did you ever think that
if you didn't eat like that,
527
00:20:18,499 --> 00:20:20,457
you wouldn't have to be
on those meds? [chuckles]
528
00:20:20,501 --> 00:20:21,980
- Do you ever think
I went on those meds
529
00:20:22,024 --> 00:20:24,548
so I can eat like that?
530
00:20:24,592 --> 00:20:26,681
- What do you say
to a nice salad,
531
00:20:26,724 --> 00:20:29,074
a skinless chicken breast,
and an unsweetened iced tea?
532
00:20:29,118 --> 00:20:31,686
- I say,
when does Dan get back?
533
00:20:31,729 --> 00:20:32,861
Oh, hey, Jay.
534
00:20:32,904 --> 00:20:34,297
Sorry, you're not
on the schedule today.
535
00:20:34,341 --> 00:20:35,603
Yeah, Dan called.
536
00:20:35,646 --> 00:20:37,387
He asked me to come in
and help out.
537
00:20:37,431 --> 00:20:39,128
- Oh. Well, I'm fine.
I don't need any help.
538
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:40,651
So you can go.
539
00:20:40,695 --> 00:20:43,175
- He said you'd say that,
and for me not to go.
540
00:20:43,219 --> 00:20:44,655
Great.
541
00:20:44,699 --> 00:20:46,178
If he doesn't trust me,
why doesn't he just come back?
542
00:20:46,222 --> 00:20:47,310
Maybe he should.
543
00:20:47,354 --> 00:20:48,877
- One more word out of you,
Susan,
544
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,662
I'm gonna bring you a bowl
of kale and a glass of water.
545
00:20:51,706 --> 00:20:54,796
- Don't you have
a wedding to plan?
546
00:20:54,839 --> 00:20:55,971
Does everyone know?
547
00:20:58,016 --> 00:20:58,974
Ugh!
548
00:21:00,062 --> 00:21:01,411
So that's it?
549
00:21:01,455 --> 00:21:02,760
You're shutting down
the whole investigation?
550
00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:03,979
- It's been a while since
there's been a murder.
551
00:21:04,022 --> 00:21:06,242
Seems the killer's
moved out of our area.
552
00:21:06,286 --> 00:21:07,591
So the FBI's
reassigned the case
553
00:21:07,635 --> 00:21:09,245
to the Seattle field office.
554
00:21:09,289 --> 00:21:10,986
- What if the mantid
didn't move on?
555
00:21:11,029 --> 00:21:12,857
- The what?
What's a mantid?
556
00:21:12,901 --> 00:21:14,511
- What's a mantid?
You didn't tell her?
557
00:21:14,555 --> 00:21:17,993
- No, didn't mention that.
And you don't need to either.
558
00:21:18,036 --> 00:21:19,342
OK.
559
00:21:19,386 --> 00:21:21,997
Mum's the word.
560
00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:23,999
I think the killer's
a giant alien mantid
561
00:21:24,042 --> 00:21:25,653
that lives up in the hills.
562
00:21:25,696 --> 00:21:27,698
And I think the only reason
that these murders haven't been
563
00:21:27,742 --> 00:21:30,222
happening recently is because
it's been feeding on deer
564
00:21:30,266 --> 00:21:31,746
to throw us off the track.
565
00:21:31,789 --> 00:21:33,835
Now, I saw it with
my own eyes, both of them.
566
00:21:33,878 --> 00:21:35,576
And I think that that thing
is still up there,
567
00:21:35,619 --> 00:21:37,708
and it's just waiting.
568
00:21:37,752 --> 00:21:40,885
- We'll take that
under consideration.
569
00:21:40,929 --> 00:21:42,539
No, you won't.
570
00:21:42,583 --> 00:21:44,889
- No.
- See?
571
00:21:44,933 --> 00:21:48,371
It's almost like I knew
what you was gonna say,
572
00:21:48,415 --> 00:21:49,720
because I'm psychic.
573
00:21:49,764 --> 00:21:51,635
- I think-- I think--
I think we've--
574
00:21:51,679 --> 00:21:52,810
Yes.
575
00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:54,246
- --we've got
to a natural stopping--
576
00:21:54,290 --> 00:21:55,639
- Yes.
- --point.
577
00:21:55,683 --> 00:21:57,293
So--
578
00:22:00,557 --> 00:22:02,080
- Debra said you
wanted to see me?
579
00:22:02,124 --> 00:22:03,908
- Yes.
Yes.
580
00:22:03,952 --> 00:22:07,521
Um, Kate and I wanted to ask
you over for dinner tonight.
581
00:22:07,564 --> 00:22:09,871
- Really?
Fun.
582
00:22:09,914 --> 00:22:12,090
John was just complaining
we don't go out enough.
583
00:22:12,134 --> 00:22:13,396
Yeah.
584
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:17,835
This isn't really
a plus-one situation.
585
00:22:17,879 --> 00:22:19,663
Oh.
586
00:22:19,707 --> 00:22:22,100
But aren't both you and Kate
gonna be there?
587
00:22:22,144 --> 00:22:25,277
- Uh-huh.
Yep. Yep.
588
00:22:25,321 --> 00:22:29,369
But we both live there,
so it's not really a plus one.
589
00:22:29,412 --> 00:22:32,763
A plus one for us would be if
we each brought our own dates.
590
00:22:32,807 --> 00:22:34,461
You know?
How awkward would that be?
591
00:22:34,504 --> 00:22:36,114
Pretty awkward.
592
00:22:36,158 --> 00:22:39,770
It's kind of weird that
you would even suggest it.
593
00:22:39,814 --> 00:22:41,772
- I didn't.
- All is forgiven.
594
00:22:41,816 --> 00:22:43,644
Yeah, we'll-- we'll laugh
about it over dinner.
595
00:22:43,687 --> 00:22:46,298
Oh, I'm already laughing.
596
00:22:46,342 --> 00:22:48,910
- Super hard.
- I'm laughing harder.
597
00:22:52,522 --> 00:22:54,829
- They're dropping the
serial killer investigation.
598
00:22:54,872 --> 00:22:57,440
Your cheerleader friend thinks
the killer done moved on.
599
00:22:57,484 --> 00:22:59,573
And she didn't buy
into my mantid theory.
600
00:22:59,616 --> 00:23:00,835
Could've used some
backup in there.
601
00:23:00,878 --> 00:23:02,314
What was you doing
talking to Ben?
602
00:23:02,358 --> 00:23:04,447
- He just invited me over
for dinner.
603
00:23:04,491 --> 00:23:06,362
I think he and Kate want
to talk about something.
604
00:23:06,406 --> 00:23:09,017
And I think it might
be about aliens.
605
00:23:09,060 --> 00:23:10,410
- Really?
That's great.
606
00:23:10,453 --> 00:23:11,802
Maybe we can finally start
getting some answers.
607
00:23:11,846 --> 00:23:13,238
Well, what time do they
want us to be there?
608
00:23:13,282 --> 00:23:16,590
- Oh, they just
want me to come.
609
00:23:16,633 --> 00:23:18,983
- What did Ben say when you
demanded that I join you,
610
00:23:19,027 --> 00:23:20,507
and when you told him
that you're only
611
00:23:20,550 --> 00:23:23,074
half a human being without me?
612
00:23:23,118 --> 00:23:25,163
I didn't say that.
613
00:23:25,207 --> 00:23:27,122
- Uh-huh.
614
00:23:27,165 --> 00:23:28,689
I feel like this has
something to do with me
615
00:23:28,732 --> 00:23:32,344
not giving you a closet hug.
616
00:23:32,388 --> 00:23:34,651
- If you want fish so bad,
pointing a stick at them is,
617
00:23:34,695 --> 00:23:36,740
like, the dumbest
possible way to do it.
618
00:23:36,784 --> 00:23:38,176
That's not the point.
619
00:23:38,220 --> 00:23:40,701
As humans, fishing is
not about catching fish.
620
00:23:40,744 --> 00:23:44,139
It's about talking about how
we are not catching fish.
621
00:23:44,182 --> 00:23:45,619
Oh, darn it.
622
00:23:45,662 --> 00:23:47,664
It looks like the fish,
they're just not biting.
623
00:23:47,708 --> 00:23:49,840
Those sons-- sons of bitches!
624
00:23:49,884 --> 00:23:52,887
The truth is, I need my little
baby Bridget to stay human
625
00:23:52,930 --> 00:23:54,845
because I do not know
how to bond with him
626
00:23:54,889 --> 00:23:58,240
when he is in his alien form.
627
00:23:58,283 --> 00:24:00,503
No! Oh, no.
Don't you do it.
628
00:24:00,547 --> 00:24:02,287
No. Hey, hey!
Do not put that in your mouth.
629
00:24:02,331 --> 00:24:04,072
Throw it back.
That's not what we're doing.
630
00:24:04,115 --> 00:24:06,378
No!
You put it back.
631
00:24:06,422 --> 00:24:08,032
No, don't!
Not like that!
632
00:24:09,556 --> 00:24:11,253
What is your problem?
633
00:24:11,296 --> 00:24:12,689
I'm trying to bond.
634
00:24:12,733 --> 00:24:14,517
Is it wrong
for a human father
635
00:24:14,561 --> 00:24:17,999
who used to be an alien to want
his half-human, half-alien son
636
00:24:18,042 --> 00:24:19,827
to be human, too?
637
00:24:19,870 --> 00:24:21,089
What?
638
00:24:21,132 --> 00:24:24,309
I'm not an alien anymore.
639
00:24:24,353 --> 00:24:26,137
I need you to be human.
640
00:24:26,181 --> 00:24:27,878
That's not who I am.
641
00:24:27,922 --> 00:24:29,140
I'm both.
642
00:24:29,184 --> 00:24:30,664
And if you don't like it,
643
00:24:30,707 --> 00:24:32,622
go find yourself a little
human boy to spend time with.
644
00:24:32,666 --> 00:24:35,582
- No, Bridget, that's--
I don't-- don't do it!
645
00:24:35,625 --> 00:24:37,932
No, no!
Bridget!
646
00:24:37,975 --> 00:24:39,237
Bridget!
647
00:24:39,281 --> 00:24:41,283
Such a good swimmer.
648
00:24:41,326 --> 00:24:43,198
That's a beautiful stroke.
649
00:24:47,594 --> 00:24:48,986
Good news!
650
00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:50,553
I'm adopting you.
651
00:24:56,254 --> 00:24:58,996
- What are you doing here?
And why are you in my bed?
652
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,085
- Well, ever since
I became a human,
653
00:25:01,129 --> 00:25:02,696
I get cold really easily.
654
00:25:02,739 --> 00:25:04,001
Like when I used to get cold,
655
00:25:04,045 --> 00:25:06,047
and you'd call me
a weak little chihuahua boy?
656
00:25:06,090 --> 00:25:07,701
- Well, that was because
your hair was short,
657
00:25:07,744 --> 00:25:11,356
and you were cute, which is why
I've decided to adopt you.
658
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,228
I want to give you
a good family.
659
00:25:13,271 --> 00:25:16,144
- Why would I let you adopt me?
I don't even like you.
660
00:25:16,187 --> 00:25:17,928
- That is a lie.
You love me.
661
00:25:17,972 --> 00:25:21,236
Remember when I used you
as an ottoman?
662
00:25:21,279 --> 00:25:23,020
[laughs]
Oh, that was fun.
663
00:25:23,064 --> 00:25:25,153
- For you.
And it was different then.
664
00:25:25,196 --> 00:25:26,502
I mean, sure,
you were mean to me
665
00:25:26,546 --> 00:25:29,157
and tried to kill me
a few times.
666
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:30,941
At least you were an alien.
667
00:25:30,985 --> 00:25:32,943
Now you're just an old guy,
668
00:25:32,987 --> 00:25:35,076
a human,
and not even a good one.
669
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:36,643
How am I not a good human?
670
00:25:36,686 --> 00:25:40,603
- Good humans don't sneak
into young boys' bedrooms,
671
00:25:40,647 --> 00:25:43,388
get in their beds, and say,
let's be friends.
672
00:25:43,432 --> 00:25:45,869
It's weird,
and probably illegal.
673
00:25:45,913 --> 00:25:48,002
Fine.
674
00:25:48,045 --> 00:25:49,873
I will leave.
675
00:25:49,917 --> 00:25:51,919
Maybe you're the one
who is weird.
676
00:25:51,962 --> 00:25:53,529
You ever think of that?
677
00:25:53,573 --> 00:25:54,922
Gross.
678
00:25:54,965 --> 00:25:56,445
What?
679
00:25:56,488 --> 00:25:59,230
Well, I get really cold,
and then I get really hot.
680
00:25:59,274 --> 00:26:02,146
[bluesy rock music]
681
00:26:02,190 --> 00:26:04,627
Being human sucks.
682
00:26:04,671 --> 00:26:08,805
♪
683
00:26:08,849 --> 00:26:10,764
♪ Mama's making house
684
00:26:10,807 --> 00:26:12,374
♪ Baby needs a toy
685
00:26:12,417 --> 00:26:13,897
OK.
686
00:26:13,941 --> 00:26:15,246
Sorry it took so long.
687
00:26:15,290 --> 00:26:16,726
We are short staffed,
so I booted your ticket
688
00:26:16,770 --> 00:26:18,293
to the back of the queue
because you're my friend,
689
00:26:18,336 --> 00:26:20,556
and I knew you'd understand--
what?
690
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,036
Little cold.
691
00:26:22,079 --> 00:26:23,603
- What would you say
if they were free?
692
00:26:23,646 --> 00:26:25,082
- Now they're warm
and delicious.
693
00:26:25,126 --> 00:26:26,388
- Melissa called
from the clinic.
694
00:26:26,431 --> 00:26:27,694
They need you to come in
and set a broken leg.
695
00:26:27,737 --> 00:26:29,217
- Well, that's why
Ellen's covering for me.
696
00:26:29,260 --> 00:26:30,653
She can do it.
697
00:26:30,697 --> 00:26:32,524
- Um--
- Huh?
698
00:26:34,701 --> 00:26:37,181
Can you warm these up?
699
00:26:37,225 --> 00:26:39,096
- Ah!
Uh--
700
00:26:39,140 --> 00:26:40,794
- Breathe.
- Why?
701
00:26:40,837 --> 00:26:42,186
That would just keep me alive.
702
00:26:42,230 --> 00:26:48,105
♪
703
00:26:48,149 --> 00:26:50,847
- That waitress
looks just like Asta.
704
00:26:50,891 --> 00:26:52,980
- OK.
- Whoa.
705
00:26:53,023 --> 00:26:56,287
- Um, how did it go
with the dog?
706
00:26:56,331 --> 00:26:59,726
Um, pretty good.
707
00:26:59,769 --> 00:27:02,163
[in vague European accent]
My name is Bernice.
708
00:27:02,206 --> 00:27:04,295
I am considered royalty.
709
00:27:04,339 --> 00:27:06,036
I'm in the market for a dog,
710
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:07,559
one named--
maybe it's like Ruby.
711
00:27:07,603 --> 00:27:09,866
Dogs deserve to be
spent money on.
712
00:27:09,910 --> 00:27:11,346
And I have all the money.
713
00:27:11,389 --> 00:27:14,044
I can afford everything
for the dog,
714
00:27:14,088 --> 00:27:16,394
like food, glasses of wine.
715
00:27:16,438 --> 00:27:20,181
We wear our chains with
our initials on it.
716
00:27:20,224 --> 00:27:22,836
Riding together like,
we're riding.
717
00:27:22,879 --> 00:27:26,491
Ruby deserves a wonderful home
made of gold.
718
00:27:26,535 --> 00:27:27,841
- You didn't get the dog,
did you?
719
00:27:27,884 --> 00:27:29,146
- I sure didn't.
No.
720
00:27:30,713 --> 00:27:31,801
Don't freak out.
721
00:27:31,845 --> 00:27:33,673
- The refrigerator's broken.
- Oh, God.
722
00:27:33,716 --> 00:27:35,326
OK, well, the refrigerator's
gonna have to wait,
723
00:27:35,370 --> 00:27:37,720
because now I have
to go set a broken leg.
724
00:27:37,764 --> 00:27:39,766
- Ma'am?
Excuse me.
725
00:27:39,809 --> 00:27:43,465
I'm sorry, but you look
just like someone I know.
726
00:27:43,508 --> 00:27:46,076
Like--
[imitates explosion]
727
00:27:50,211 --> 00:27:51,734
[doorbell jingles]
728
00:27:51,778 --> 00:27:53,301
Rude.
729
00:27:56,391 --> 00:27:57,784
Thanks for the invite.
730
00:27:57,827 --> 00:27:59,829
The last dinner I went to
was a murder mystery thing
731
00:27:59,873 --> 00:28:01,222
a couple months ago.
732
00:28:01,265 --> 00:28:02,832
- [chuckles]
Let me guess.
733
00:28:02,876 --> 00:28:04,355
You solved it right away and
ruined the night for everyone?
734
00:28:04,399 --> 00:28:06,140
- They knew I was a cop
when they invited me.
735
00:28:06,183 --> 00:28:08,882
- Well, this is just
a casual dinner.
736
00:28:08,925 --> 00:28:10,579
No mysteries to solve.
737
00:28:10,622 --> 00:28:13,234
Just-- just three friends
hanging out.
738
00:28:13,277 --> 00:28:15,540
- Exactly what
I was hoping for.
739
00:28:15,584 --> 00:28:16,585
Whew!
740
00:28:16,628 --> 00:28:18,195
Oh, shit.
741
00:28:18,239 --> 00:28:19,501
Oh, hey.
742
00:28:19,544 --> 00:28:20,763
I didn't know if this
was a doorbell house
743
00:28:20,807 --> 00:28:21,808
or a knock house.
744
00:28:21,851 --> 00:28:23,635
- So you didn't do either.
Welcome.
745
00:28:23,679 --> 00:28:24,636
[laughs]
746
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:25,812
- Yeah, sorry
I'm late, Deputy.
747
00:28:25,855 --> 00:28:26,943
I didn't know what
y'all were serving,
748
00:28:26,987 --> 00:28:27,901
so I stopped and
grabbed a chicken.
749
00:28:27,944 --> 00:28:29,729
- We're actually
serving chicken.
750
00:28:29,772 --> 00:28:30,991
Oh, good!
751
00:28:31,034 --> 00:28:32,253
I see you took my note
from the last time,
752
00:28:32,296 --> 00:28:34,429
when, well,
all you had was soup.
753
00:28:34,472 --> 00:28:36,431
[laughs]
Oh, uh,
754
00:28:36,474 --> 00:28:38,128
I brought a knife
to cut the chicken.
755
00:28:38,172 --> 00:28:39,782
- Oh, we-- we also have knives.
756
00:28:39,826 --> 00:28:42,785
- Oh, well, I prefer to use
my own knife to cut my food,
757
00:28:42,829 --> 00:28:44,874
being that most Americans
don't adhere to the proper
758
00:28:44,918 --> 00:28:46,267
knife sharpening regimen.
759
00:28:46,310 --> 00:28:47,790
Look at that.
Oh-ho!
760
00:28:47,834 --> 00:28:49,313
[laughter]
761
00:28:49,357 --> 00:28:50,445
Is there a regimen?
762
00:28:50,488 --> 00:28:53,143
- Nobody wants
jagged chicken, OK?
763
00:28:53,187 --> 00:28:54,362
Whoo!
764
00:28:54,405 --> 00:28:56,407
Smell like a bunch of yum
up in this bitch.
765
00:28:56,451 --> 00:28:59,280
[upbeat music]
766
00:28:59,323 --> 00:29:02,196
- ♪ It's not over
till it's over ♪
767
00:29:02,239 --> 00:29:05,547
♪ Don't stop now,
we're getting closer ♪
768
00:29:05,590 --> 00:29:08,506
♪ Everybody knows
769
00:29:08,550 --> 00:29:12,380
♪ That you can't close
heaven's doors ♪
770
00:29:12,423 --> 00:29:14,817
♪ It's not over
771
00:29:14,861 --> 00:29:16,427
Yeah.
772
00:29:16,471 --> 00:29:19,822
There's got to be an unlocked
window or something.
773
00:29:19,866 --> 00:29:21,781
You know, it's bullshit
they made me do this.
774
00:29:21,824 --> 00:29:25,088
You know, busting Ruby out
of here isn't even stealing.
775
00:29:25,132 --> 00:29:26,698
It's a rescue mission.
776
00:29:26,742 --> 00:29:28,352
Yeah, it is.
777
00:29:31,529 --> 00:29:33,705
OK, hold on, hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on, hold on.
778
00:29:33,749 --> 00:29:35,229
Go.
Try.
779
00:29:35,272 --> 00:29:37,492
What?
How is it not 1234?
780
00:29:37,535 --> 00:29:39,015
You thought that would work?
781
00:29:39,059 --> 00:29:41,496
- Everyone uses 1234 so you
don't have to memorize it.
782
00:29:41,539 --> 00:29:43,454
What, does, like, Einstein
work here or something?
783
00:29:43,498 --> 00:29:45,326
Oh, give me your credit card.
784
00:29:45,369 --> 00:29:47,284
- Yes, Boss.
OK.
785
00:29:47,328 --> 00:29:48,808
Here you go, Chef.
786
00:29:51,898 --> 00:29:53,377
- Got it.
- Oh.
787
00:29:53,421 --> 00:29:54,814
Yeah, that's right.
788
00:29:54,857 --> 00:29:56,859
All right, you want to--
789
00:29:56,903 --> 00:29:58,078
shit.
790
00:29:58,121 --> 00:29:59,993
- Sorry about that.
- It's OK.
791
00:30:00,036 --> 00:30:01,342
- It's your card.
- What?
792
00:30:01,385 --> 00:30:02,865
Why do you have my credit card?
793
00:30:02,909 --> 00:30:04,127
- I got it the other night
when we were at your place,
794
00:30:04,171 --> 00:30:05,476
remember?
795
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:06,913
You said,
help yourself to anything.
796
00:30:06,956 --> 00:30:09,524
So I took your credit card
and your shower soap.
797
00:30:09,567 --> 00:30:12,875
- Well, I didn't mean
to steal my whole identity.
798
00:30:12,919 --> 00:30:14,007
I can get it.
799
00:30:14,050 --> 00:30:15,312
OK, wait.
800
00:30:15,356 --> 00:30:17,358
- I can't--
- Oh, oh.
801
00:30:17,401 --> 00:30:18,576
- I can't--
- Ooh, here.
802
00:30:18,620 --> 00:30:19,577
Let me try.
Let me try.
803
00:30:19,621 --> 00:30:21,014
Let me try. Let me try.
804
00:30:21,057 --> 00:30:22,842
I've got little bird arms.
805
00:30:22,885 --> 00:30:26,062
All right, watch this.
806
00:30:26,106 --> 00:30:27,759
- OK.
Get it, get it, get it.
807
00:30:27,803 --> 00:30:29,849
- So close.
- Just a little bit.
808
00:30:31,589 --> 00:30:33,504
- I'm stuck.
- You can't be stuck.
809
00:30:33,548 --> 00:30:34,897
- I'm stuck.
- No. No.
810
00:30:34,941 --> 00:30:35,985
Come on.
811
00:30:36,029 --> 00:30:37,117
- Come on.
- [grunts]
812
00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:38,292
Ow.
813
00:30:38,335 --> 00:30:40,685
Shh!
814
00:30:40,729 --> 00:30:41,773
Ah!
815
00:30:41,817 --> 00:30:43,340
- Judy, the first rule
of break-ins
816
00:30:43,384 --> 00:30:44,994
is don't get your arm
stuck in the door.
817
00:30:45,038 --> 00:30:46,822
- It's not a break-in unless
you break something going in.
818
00:30:46,866 --> 00:30:48,128
I'll get you out.
819
00:30:48,171 --> 00:30:49,651
I got you, girl!
820
00:30:49,694 --> 00:30:52,132
I got you!
821
00:30:52,175 --> 00:30:53,611
[glass shatters]
[alarm ringing]
822
00:30:53,655 --> 00:30:55,222
- Now it's a break-in.
Save yourself!
823
00:30:55,265 --> 00:30:56,919
Run!
Go!
824
00:30:56,963 --> 00:30:58,573
I'll be OK.
825
00:31:00,009 --> 00:31:01,402
Get a saw.
826
00:31:01,445 --> 00:31:03,186
- Get a saw?
- Get some pliers.
827
00:31:03,230 --> 00:31:04,666
It's your arm.
828
00:31:04,709 --> 00:31:05,797
I can get in.
You can get out.
829
00:31:05,841 --> 00:31:06,886
OK, you get in.
830
00:31:06,929 --> 00:31:08,235
- And then,
once I'm in, you get--
831
00:31:08,278 --> 00:31:09,192
- OK.
- You grab.
832
00:31:09,236 --> 00:31:10,324
You grab.
Pull it.
833
00:31:10,367 --> 00:31:11,325
- OK.
I'm--
834
00:31:11,368 --> 00:31:12,326
- Ow.
- Ow.
835
00:31:12,369 --> 00:31:13,327
- Ow.
- Ow.
836
00:31:13,370 --> 00:31:14,458
- Ow.
- Ow!
837
00:31:17,940 --> 00:31:20,638
- If there were a planet
with only one creature on it,
838
00:31:20,682 --> 00:31:23,337
I imagine they would
feel much more alone.
839
00:31:23,380 --> 00:31:25,643
But on Earth,
there are billions of people.
840
00:31:25,687 --> 00:31:28,429
How is it possible that
so many of them are lonely?
841
00:31:28,472 --> 00:31:30,387
[door clicks]
842
00:31:30,431 --> 00:31:33,390
Bridget, is that you?
843
00:31:33,434 --> 00:31:35,740
[rustling]
844
00:31:35,784 --> 00:31:37,612
Announce yourself!
845
00:31:37,655 --> 00:31:39,875
[rustling]
846
00:31:39,919 --> 00:31:42,747
And if you want to be my
friend, the answer's yes!
847
00:31:42,791 --> 00:31:45,707
[suspenseful music]
848
00:31:45,750 --> 00:31:48,536
♪
849
00:31:48,579 --> 00:31:50,799
Harry?
850
00:31:50,842 --> 00:31:52,932
Peter?
851
00:31:52,975 --> 00:31:54,977
You're not an alien.
852
00:31:55,021 --> 00:31:57,066
You're not human.
853
00:31:57,110 --> 00:31:59,851
- I guess we've got a lot
of catching up to do.
854
00:32:02,463 --> 00:32:03,899
Why did you come?
855
00:32:03,943 --> 00:32:05,205
They wanted to talk.
856
00:32:05,248 --> 00:32:06,946
Now they'll never
tell me anything.
857
00:32:06,989 --> 00:32:09,949
And if they do, it might
just be misinformation.
858
00:32:09,992 --> 00:32:11,602
You know what?
859
00:32:11,646 --> 00:32:13,735
I think you're thinking of
disinformation, because, see,
860
00:32:13,778 --> 00:32:15,302
misinformation
isn't intended to--
861
00:32:15,345 --> 00:32:16,607
I don't care.
862
00:32:16,651 --> 00:32:18,044
- Listen, do you think
I would come over here
863
00:32:18,087 --> 00:32:19,741
and infiltrate this dinner
to extract information
864
00:32:19,784 --> 00:32:23,266
with them without a plan, or
a chicken and a carving knife?
865
00:32:23,310 --> 00:32:26,052
- I would have thought that,
but I never will again.
866
00:32:26,095 --> 00:32:28,271
- Unbelievable.
- I know.
867
00:32:28,315 --> 00:32:31,100
Who invites themselves
to a dinner party?
868
00:32:31,144 --> 00:32:33,363
- Yeah, that too.
But this knife is incredible.
869
00:32:33,407 --> 00:32:35,583
It's like slicing
through yogurt.
870
00:32:35,626 --> 00:32:36,758
Ah.
871
00:32:36,801 --> 00:32:38,542
- Hi, can you stop
and look at me?
872
00:32:38,586 --> 00:32:40,066
What do we do?
873
00:32:40,109 --> 00:32:41,981
Do we just forget tonight
and talk to Liv another time?
874
00:32:42,024 --> 00:32:44,287
- No, no.
You were right before.
875
00:32:44,331 --> 00:32:46,594
Our baby is out there, and
we need information right now.
876
00:32:46,637 --> 00:32:48,291
We-- we can't risk waiting.
877
00:32:48,335 --> 00:32:51,773
- OK, you find some way to get
Mike out, and I'll talk to Liv.
878
00:32:51,816 --> 00:32:53,514
- Got it.
Wait, and Kate.
879
00:32:53,557 --> 00:32:54,994
Yeah?
880
00:32:55,037 --> 00:32:57,431
- Put knife sharpener
on my Christmas list.
881
00:32:57,474 --> 00:33:00,434
[mellow music]
882
00:33:00,477 --> 00:33:02,566
♪
883
00:33:02,610 --> 00:33:04,090
- [cork pops]
- [grunts]
884
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:08,833
- Oh.
You opened more wine?
885
00:33:08,877 --> 00:33:10,661
- Oh, yeah.
I hope it's OK.
886
00:33:10,705 --> 00:33:12,750
Not really a wine guy.
887
00:33:12,794 --> 00:33:16,363
So I wasn't sure if this was
one of your special occasion,
888
00:33:16,406 --> 00:33:17,886
pricey wines.
889
00:33:17,929 --> 00:33:19,148
- And yet you zeroed
right in on it.
890
00:33:19,192 --> 00:33:20,367
- Well, you know,
I just think it's easier
891
00:33:20,410 --> 00:33:21,977
for people to talk
when they drink.
892
00:33:22,021 --> 00:33:24,023
You know, back in DC,
when we had a suspect,
893
00:33:24,066 --> 00:33:26,329
on the way down to the jail,
we'd stop by a bar
894
00:33:26,373 --> 00:33:28,679
and get 'em nice and
liquored up before we chat.
895
00:33:28,723 --> 00:33:30,725
- I'm not in uniform,
so I didn't hear that.
896
00:33:30,768 --> 00:33:31,813
- [laughs]
Yeah, go ahead.
897
00:33:31,856 --> 00:33:33,119
Drink up.
898
00:33:33,162 --> 00:33:35,991
- Oh, uh, you know what
might be fun first?
899
00:33:36,035 --> 00:33:37,993
If I show you
my candle collection.
900
00:33:38,037 --> 00:33:41,605
- Oh. No, thank you.
I don't like candles.
901
00:33:41,649 --> 00:33:44,260
- Honey.
- Huh?
902
00:33:44,304 --> 00:33:46,393
Sorry. Uh,
903
00:33:46,436 --> 00:33:49,222
what exactly
doesn't work for you
904
00:33:49,265 --> 00:33:53,226
about the tiny,
magical controlled fire
905
00:33:53,269 --> 00:33:55,271
that has been illuminating
the lives of human beings
906
00:33:55,315 --> 00:33:57,012
for thousands of years?
907
00:33:57,056 --> 00:33:58,187
- Well, see,
I just don't get the point.
908
00:33:58,231 --> 00:33:59,710
I mean,
light bulbs were invented
909
00:33:59,754 --> 00:34:01,277
over a hundred years ago.
910
00:34:01,321 --> 00:34:02,887
What's candles still
sticking around for?
911
00:34:02,931 --> 00:34:04,759
Uh, romance?
912
00:34:04,802 --> 00:34:07,457
Ambiance?
Celebration?
913
00:34:07,501 --> 00:34:08,980
- Rituals?
- Yeah.
914
00:34:09,024 --> 00:34:10,721
- Health? Holiday smells?
- You know what?
915
00:34:10,765 --> 00:34:12,854
That sounds like Big Candle
talking to me.
916
00:34:12,897 --> 00:34:14,116
And you want to know the truth?
917
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,553
Candles mean death, right?
918
00:34:16,597 --> 00:34:18,207
'Cause all I know is
Colonel Mustard,
919
00:34:18,251 --> 00:34:20,079
he didn't kill
Professor Plum in the study
920
00:34:20,122 --> 00:34:21,558
with a light bulb stick.
921
00:34:21,602 --> 00:34:23,038
OK?
922
00:34:23,082 --> 00:34:24,344
Well, on your birthday,
923
00:34:24,387 --> 00:34:26,041
I hope you enjoy blowing out
your light bulbs.
924
00:34:26,085 --> 00:34:27,086
- Yeah, well, you know what?
Wrong again.
925
00:34:27,129 --> 00:34:28,391
I don't blow them out.
926
00:34:28,435 --> 00:34:29,871
I pinch them out with
spit fingers like a man.
927
00:34:29,914 --> 00:34:32,091
- I wish someone would kill me
with a light bulb stick.
928
00:34:32,134 --> 00:34:34,223
I'm right there with you.
929
00:34:34,267 --> 00:34:36,095
So my son was in the moon?
930
00:34:36,138 --> 00:34:38,401
Yes, then Vegas.
931
00:34:38,445 --> 00:34:41,100
- Oh.
I think I prefer the moon.
932
00:34:41,143 --> 00:34:43,363
I hope he didn't go
to those girlie shows.
933
00:34:43,406 --> 00:34:46,496
- I'm sorry I do not know
where he is now.
934
00:34:46,540 --> 00:34:49,543
He was very kind
to Bridget and me in prison.
935
00:34:49,586 --> 00:34:51,458
How is your boy?
936
00:34:51,501 --> 00:34:52,589
He hates me.
937
00:34:52,633 --> 00:34:55,853
- [laughs]
I'm sure that's not true.
938
00:34:55,897 --> 00:34:59,030
- No, I tried to make him be
my friend, and he would not.
939
00:34:59,074 --> 00:35:00,597
No one would.
940
00:35:00,641 --> 00:35:03,774
- In my experience,
people like being with people
941
00:35:03,818 --> 00:35:06,168
who like being with themselves.
942
00:35:06,212 --> 00:35:08,562
- Why would I want
to be with me?
943
00:35:08,605 --> 00:35:10,520
A loser with no friends.
944
00:35:10,564 --> 00:35:12,131
- You were pretty comfortable
with yourself
945
00:35:12,174 --> 00:35:13,697
when you were an alien.
946
00:35:13,741 --> 00:35:16,918
I know how to be an alien.
947
00:35:16,961 --> 00:35:19,790
But I'm not an alien anymore.
948
00:35:19,834 --> 00:35:23,359
But I don't feel like a human.
I'm neither.
949
00:35:23,403 --> 00:35:25,492
No.
950
00:35:25,535 --> 00:35:27,146
You're both.
951
00:35:27,189 --> 00:35:28,277
Look at me.
952
00:35:28,321 --> 00:35:30,801
- I'm trying, but it's hard.
- I know.
953
00:35:30,845 --> 00:35:32,673
I'm this robot.
954
00:35:32,716 --> 00:35:34,283
But I feel like a human.
955
00:35:34,327 --> 00:35:36,111
You are half of each.
956
00:35:36,155 --> 00:35:37,721
No, not half of each.
957
00:35:37,765 --> 00:35:39,506
100% of both.
958
00:35:39,549 --> 00:35:42,552
- That is bad math,
especially for a robot.
959
00:35:42,596 --> 00:35:46,513
- I am everything I was
and everything I am.
960
00:35:46,556 --> 00:35:49,690
You are both human
and alien now,
961
00:35:49,733 --> 00:35:51,213
and that's a good thing.
962
00:35:51,257 --> 00:35:54,042
[soft music]
963
00:35:54,085 --> 00:35:55,609
I hope you're right.
964
00:35:55,652 --> 00:35:57,350
Just remember,
965
00:35:57,393 --> 00:36:02,224
the only person who will
always be with you is you.
966
00:36:02,268 --> 00:36:06,402
And when that's enough,
you'll never be lonely.
967
00:36:08,361 --> 00:36:11,407
Now, I have to go find my son.
968
00:36:13,192 --> 00:36:15,498
Good luck with yours.
969
00:36:15,542 --> 00:36:16,673
Thank you.
970
00:36:16,717 --> 00:36:20,503
♪
971
00:36:20,547 --> 00:36:22,549
We have to switch things up.
972
00:36:22,592 --> 00:36:23,941
I'll take Liv.
973
00:36:23,985 --> 00:36:25,421
You distract the candle hater.
974
00:36:25,465 --> 00:36:27,118
I mean, I can't even
look at him right now.
975
00:36:27,162 --> 00:36:28,250
- Do you think you
can get her to talk?
976
00:36:28,294 --> 00:36:29,817
Just keep Mike busy.
977
00:36:29,860 --> 00:36:32,863
You have my permission
to use your feminine wiles.
978
00:36:32,907 --> 00:36:34,213
My feminine wiles?
979
00:36:34,256 --> 00:36:36,040
- Yeah, a little bit of the...
[clicks tongue]
980
00:36:36,084 --> 00:36:37,477
Va-va-voom.
981
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:38,652
Oh.
982
00:36:38,695 --> 00:36:40,001
Sure, Ben.
983
00:36:40,044 --> 00:36:42,221
See you in 1958.
984
00:36:43,700 --> 00:36:45,441
- I think we might
need a new plan.
985
00:36:45,485 --> 00:36:46,877
Yeah.
986
00:36:46,921 --> 00:36:48,314
It's so weird that insulting
the man's life passion
987
00:36:48,357 --> 00:36:49,924
didn't open them right up.
988
00:36:49,967 --> 00:36:51,230
- Deputy,
candles aren't a passion.
989
00:36:51,273 --> 00:36:53,275
They're a light source.
990
00:36:53,319 --> 00:36:56,626
Talking about
a passion for a candle.
991
00:36:56,670 --> 00:36:58,976
Hello.
992
00:36:59,020 --> 00:37:00,369
- What?
- Yeah, come here.
993
00:37:00,413 --> 00:37:03,242
Look, look, look.
Look at this.
994
00:37:03,285 --> 00:37:04,721
It's a little
teeny-tiny camera.
995
00:37:04,765 --> 00:37:06,070
Damn.
996
00:37:06,114 --> 00:37:07,246
All this time,
we've been trying
997
00:37:07,289 --> 00:37:08,725
to figure out their secret.
998
00:37:08,769 --> 00:37:10,901
And now we know.
999
00:37:10,945 --> 00:37:12,294
They're swingers.
1000
00:37:12,338 --> 00:37:13,817
- What?
No.
1001
00:37:13,861 --> 00:37:15,297
- Deputy, can't you think
of any other reason
1002
00:37:15,341 --> 00:37:16,733
to have a hidden camera
in your house?
1003
00:37:16,777 --> 00:37:18,735
Probably only 50.
1004
00:37:18,779 --> 00:37:21,738
I just don't see
Ben and Kate as swingers.
1005
00:37:21,782 --> 00:37:23,174
Maybe Kate?
1006
00:37:23,218 --> 00:37:24,698
Definitely Kate.
1007
00:37:24,741 --> 00:37:26,874
But Ben won't even take
his shirt off at the pool.
1008
00:37:26,917 --> 00:37:28,919
- Deputy, it's never
the ones you expect.
1009
00:37:28,963 --> 00:37:30,225
Trust me.
1010
00:37:30,269 --> 00:37:31,835
I done seen enough
depraved sexual behaviors
1011
00:37:31,879 --> 00:37:33,402
and appetites for a lifetime.
1012
00:37:33,446 --> 00:37:34,403
- Was that when
you were in Vice?
1013
00:37:34,447 --> 00:37:36,231
- No, Tampa.
- Oh.
1014
00:37:36,275 --> 00:37:38,189
- Who's up for some
after-dinner cordials?
1015
00:37:38,233 --> 00:37:40,061
- Oh, actually, I'm--
- Oh, whoops.
1016
00:37:40,104 --> 00:37:41,367
Oh.
1017
00:37:41,410 --> 00:37:43,412
- God, clumsy me.
- Oh, Ben.
1018
00:37:43,456 --> 00:37:45,327
Take Liv to the bathroom
1019
00:37:45,371 --> 00:37:47,155
and get that stain out
before it sets!
1020
00:37:47,198 --> 00:37:48,243
- Yeah, let's get
that blouse off you.
1021
00:37:48,287 --> 00:37:49,244
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1022
00:37:49,288 --> 00:37:50,767
I'm not a swinger!
1023
00:37:50,811 --> 00:37:53,117
Um, what?
1024
00:37:53,161 --> 00:37:54,467
Don't play dumb.
1025
00:37:54,510 --> 00:37:56,251
We found your
tiny hidden camera.
1026
00:37:56,295 --> 00:37:58,601
[ominous music]
1027
00:37:58,645 --> 00:38:01,474
- Ben?
- What? I didn't put it there.
1028
00:38:01,517 --> 00:38:04,172
- Neither did I.
- Then who did?
1029
00:38:04,215 --> 00:38:05,608
- Oh, my God.
Ben.
1030
00:38:05,652 --> 00:38:07,436
- What?
- The cookie girls.
1031
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:08,481
What cookie girls?
1032
00:38:08,524 --> 00:38:10,221
- In our house?
- I know.
1033
00:38:10,265 --> 00:38:11,440
- What cookie girls?
- The aliens!
1034
00:38:11,484 --> 00:38:13,660
The ones who took our baby.
1035
00:38:18,926 --> 00:38:20,754
[relaxed music]
1036
00:38:20,797 --> 00:38:22,973
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
1037
00:38:23,713 --> 00:38:25,367
Breaking and entering.
1038
00:38:25,411 --> 00:38:26,934
Well, really just breaking.
1039
00:38:26,977 --> 00:38:29,676
We didn't even get in.
[chuckles]
1040
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,156
It didn't have
to go down this way.
1041
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:35,856
Saying my lifestyle isn't
stable enough for a dog.
1042
00:38:35,899 --> 00:38:38,206
You sure showed them, huh?
1043
00:38:38,249 --> 00:38:39,468
Yeah.
1044
00:38:39,512 --> 00:38:41,601
Well, now I have a court date.
1045
00:38:41,644 --> 00:38:42,732
Oh, will you go with me?
1046
00:38:42,776 --> 00:38:44,430
You need a ride, don't you?
1047
00:38:44,473 --> 00:38:45,996
My car got booted last week.
1048
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,521
- Oh, God.
Of course it did.
1049
00:38:48,564 --> 00:38:50,653
- D'arcy--
- I know. I know.
1050
00:38:50,697 --> 00:38:53,221
Don't say anything.
I know.
1051
00:38:53,264 --> 00:38:54,918
- OK.
Good.
1052
00:38:54,962 --> 00:38:57,138
[phone dings]
Oh, great.
1053
00:38:57,181 --> 00:38:59,880
The refrigerator guy's
running late.
1054
00:38:59,923 --> 00:39:03,013
- I'd keep you company,
but I gotta close tonight.
1055
00:39:03,057 --> 00:39:04,972
- Oh, wait, are you doing
the bank drop for the bar?
1056
00:39:05,015 --> 00:39:08,018
- Mm.
- OK.
1057
00:39:08,062 --> 00:39:09,629
Can you do mine, too?
1058
00:39:09,672 --> 00:39:11,761
- Yeah.
Gimme, gimme.
1059
00:39:11,805 --> 00:39:13,850
- Thank you.
- See?
1060
00:39:13,894 --> 00:39:17,463
I'm a good person.
I deserve a dog.
1061
00:39:17,506 --> 00:39:22,990
- ♪ These times will
guide me ♪
1062
00:39:23,033 --> 00:39:25,819
♪ And I've got to love
1063
00:39:25,862 --> 00:39:28,648
♪ A little harder than I've
1064
00:39:28,691 --> 00:39:34,262
♪ Ever before
1065
00:39:34,305 --> 00:39:36,395
- Teddy, can I get
a whiskey soda?
1066
00:39:36,438 --> 00:39:38,875
Yep.
1067
00:39:38,919 --> 00:39:43,445
♪ For my darkest hour?
1068
00:39:43,489 --> 00:39:45,273
- Well, at least they gave you
your credit card back,
1069
00:39:45,316 --> 00:39:47,101
so you can pay
for these drinks.
1070
00:39:47,144 --> 00:39:50,365
Oh, and I'll give you
your sneakers back tomorrow.
1071
00:39:50,409 --> 00:39:51,671
Those are my sneakers?
1072
00:39:51,714 --> 00:39:52,715
Yeah.
1073
00:39:52,759 --> 00:39:54,064
But don't worry,
1074
00:39:54,108 --> 00:39:55,936
I'm not wearing any gross,
sweaty socks.
1075
00:39:55,979 --> 00:39:57,807
It's just my raw feet.
1076
00:39:57,851 --> 00:39:59,679
Cool.
1077
00:39:59,722 --> 00:40:01,420
- This is all that
shelter's fault.
1078
00:40:01,463 --> 00:40:03,204
I mean, you were just
trying to save a dog.
1079
00:40:03,247 --> 00:40:05,380
- Right?
That's what I said to Asta.
1080
00:40:05,424 --> 00:40:06,686
She wasn't buying it.
1081
00:40:06,729 --> 00:40:08,296
What'd she say?
1082
00:40:08,339 --> 00:40:09,906
Nothing.
1083
00:40:09,950 --> 00:40:12,822
She just has a way of saying
a lot without saying anything.
1084
00:40:12,866 --> 00:40:14,389
- Well, I don't care
what she didn't say.
1085
00:40:14,433 --> 00:40:15,738
She should take it back.
1086
00:40:15,782 --> 00:40:17,610
- Yeah.
That's fine.
1087
00:40:17,653 --> 00:40:19,220
She'll get over it.
1088
00:40:19,263 --> 00:40:23,572
I mean, she just has a lot
going on, kind of thing.
1089
00:40:23,616 --> 00:40:26,270
Anyway, I'm pretty tired.
1090
00:40:26,314 --> 00:40:27,402
Yeah.
1091
00:40:27,446 --> 00:40:30,187
- I'll probably take it easy
tonight.
1092
00:40:36,716 --> 00:40:39,327
[sniffles]
1093
00:40:39,370 --> 00:40:40,807
Ugh.
1094
00:40:42,243 --> 00:40:43,940
Oh, no.
1095
00:40:45,681 --> 00:40:47,161
No.
1096
00:40:47,204 --> 00:40:48,467
No, no.
1097
00:40:48,510 --> 00:40:50,120
Shit!
1098
00:40:50,164 --> 00:40:51,339
Shit.
1099
00:40:53,254 --> 00:40:55,909
Asta's money.
No!
1100
00:40:55,952 --> 00:40:58,085
Shit!
Shit!
1101
00:40:58,128 --> 00:40:59,913
- As humans,
we are good at knowing
1102
00:40:59,956 --> 00:41:02,742
who we were
and who we think we are,
1103
00:41:02,785 --> 00:41:06,006
but not so good at knowing
who we really are.
1104
00:41:06,049 --> 00:41:07,573
[glass clinks]
Damn it.
1105
00:41:07,616 --> 00:41:10,576
[soft music]
1106
00:41:10,619 --> 00:41:11,664
♪
1107
00:41:11,707 --> 00:41:13,753
Me, I know that
I was an alien,
1108
00:41:13,796 --> 00:41:15,929
and now I am a human,
1109
00:41:15,972 --> 00:41:18,975
and that I have a son
who is both,
1110
00:41:19,019 --> 00:41:22,544
and that inside, so am I.
1111
00:41:22,588 --> 00:41:24,459
There we go.
1112
00:41:24,503 --> 00:41:31,292
♪
1113
00:41:31,335 --> 00:41:33,381
- Hey.
You're here early.
1114
00:41:33,424 --> 00:41:36,602
- Yes, I'm done
fishing with Bridget.
1115
00:41:36,645 --> 00:41:39,692
And I want some pie,
1116
00:41:39,735 --> 00:41:42,477
or anything that
doesn't smell like fish.
1117
00:41:42,521 --> 00:41:44,000
OK.
1118
00:41:45,872 --> 00:41:48,614
Does it make me a bad manager
if I hope no customers come in?
1119
00:41:48,657 --> 00:41:49,789
No.
1120
00:41:49,832 --> 00:41:51,355
That just means
more pie for me.
1121
00:41:51,399 --> 00:41:54,228
- I thought I could take care
of the diner no problem,
1122
00:41:54,271 --> 00:41:55,403
you know?
1123
00:41:55,446 --> 00:41:57,623
I wanted my dad
to be proud of me.
1124
00:41:57,666 --> 00:41:59,538
But it's too much.
1125
00:41:59,581 --> 00:42:01,496
I'm a failure.
1126
00:42:01,540 --> 00:42:04,194
You are a failure.
1127
00:42:04,238 --> 00:42:06,370
- What?
- But you're also a success.
1128
00:42:06,414 --> 00:42:09,765
You need to find the part
of you that is a success
1129
00:42:09,809 --> 00:42:11,332
and then love it.
1130
00:42:11,375 --> 00:42:15,249
And then that will be
the part that you are.
1131
00:42:15,292 --> 00:42:17,947
That actually makes sense.
1132
00:42:17,991 --> 00:42:21,647
- There's really a lot
about you to love.
1133
00:42:21,690 --> 00:42:24,084
You have silky, very nice hair.
1134
00:42:24,127 --> 00:42:27,609
And you are also very kind.
1135
00:42:27,653 --> 00:42:30,656
- You're not gonna propose
to me again, are you?
1136
00:42:30,699 --> 00:42:31,874
Sorry, Asta.
1137
00:42:31,918 --> 00:42:34,181
You're in the friend zone.
1138
00:42:34,224 --> 00:42:35,878
If you had wanted more,
1139
00:42:35,922 --> 00:42:37,184
you should have snuck up
in my back door
1140
00:42:37,227 --> 00:42:38,707
and grabbed a hold
of my cupcake.
1141
00:42:38,751 --> 00:42:41,580
- No, God.
I'm good.
1142
00:42:41,623 --> 00:42:44,974
Here's to being friends.
1143
00:42:45,018 --> 00:42:47,150
Human friends.
1144
00:42:49,022 --> 00:42:50,676
[fork clatters]
1145
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,635
[sinister music]
1146
00:42:53,679 --> 00:42:55,985
Harry?
1147
00:42:56,029 --> 00:42:59,467
♪
1148
00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:01,251
Harry?
1149
00:43:01,251 --> 00:43:06,251
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1150
00:43:01,251 --> 00:43:11,251
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