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00:00:01,375 --> 00:00:06,375
DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV
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00:00:06,375 --> 00:00:07,724
- The 1980s was all about
3
00:00:07,811 --> 00:00:09,639
"The Sally Jessy Raphael
Show."
4
00:00:09,726 --> 00:00:11,902
She was a white lady
with three names,
5
00:00:11,989 --> 00:00:14,165
two shoulder pads,
and one concept--
6
00:00:14,252 --> 00:00:17,777
worrying people about nothing.
7
00:00:17,864 --> 00:00:19,127
Bye, Mom.
- Okay.
8
00:00:19,214 --> 00:00:21,433
Be safe out there,
Drew, Chris, or Tonya.
9
00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:23,522
- Up next,
we're gonna discuss
10
00:00:23,609 --> 00:00:25,481
the dangers of brothers
who aren't friends.
11
00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:27,352
[audience murmuring]
12
00:00:27,439 --> 00:00:28,832
- [gasps]
13
00:00:28,919 --> 00:00:30,921
- Distant siblings today,
14
00:00:31,008 --> 00:00:33,837
crackheads and murderers
tomorrow.
15
00:00:33,924 --> 00:00:36,753
- Why aren't you and Drew
going to school together?
16
00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:39,060
- Uh, we don't really
hang out there.
17
00:00:39,147 --> 00:00:40,322
[funky music]
18
00:00:40,409 --> 00:00:41,279
[laughter]
19
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:46,545
- What?
Y'all ain't friends at school?
20
00:00:46,632 --> 00:00:48,721
Do you want him to be
a crackhead murderer?
21
00:00:48,808 --> 00:00:50,462
- No?
22
00:00:50,549 --> 00:00:52,943
- You and your brother
should be inseparable,
23
00:00:53,030 --> 00:00:54,640
like best friends.
- [sighs]
24
00:00:54,727 --> 00:00:56,860
- I don't want him ending up
in the wrong crowd.
25
00:00:56,947 --> 00:00:59,341
You better stick to each other
like Cain and Abel.
26
00:00:59,428 --> 00:01:01,560
- She just read
"The Bible for Dummies."
27
00:01:01,647 --> 00:01:03,345
Why?
Drew's friends are harmless.
28
00:01:03,432 --> 00:01:04,911
Most of them belong to a dojo.
29
00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:07,523
- Dojo one day,
white blow the next.
30
00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:09,612
It's your job
to look out for him.
31
00:01:09,699 --> 00:01:12,223
And if you don't, you're gonna
have to look out for this.
32
00:01:12,310 --> 00:01:14,225
[suspenseful musical sting]
33
00:01:14,312 --> 00:01:17,228
[upbeat hip-hop music]
34
00:01:17,315 --> 00:01:19,970
- [panting]
Drew! Wait.
35
00:01:20,057 --> 00:01:23,060
Wouldn't it be fun if you
rode the bus today with me?
36
00:01:23,147 --> 00:01:24,105
Please?
37
00:01:24,192 --> 00:01:26,019
- Mm, okay, sure.
38
00:01:26,107 --> 00:01:27,325
Go on without me.
39
00:01:27,412 --> 00:01:28,761
all: Aw.
40
00:01:28,848 --> 00:01:31,242
- This is the worst day
of my life.
41
00:01:31,329 --> 00:01:32,939
- [sighs]
Crap.
42
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:35,333
Jerome's out
on the stoop today.
43
00:01:35,420 --> 00:01:37,292
- What's up, little dude
from across the street?
44
00:01:37,379 --> 00:01:38,380
Let me hold a dollar.
45
00:01:41,078 --> 00:01:43,515
[ethereal choral vocalization]
46
00:01:43,602 --> 00:01:46,127
Oh, my Black Jesus.
47
00:01:46,214 --> 00:01:47,693
Let me give you a dollar.
48
00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:49,391
- Uh?
- Thanks.
49
00:01:49,478 --> 00:01:51,523
This will replace the one
I lost doing magic.
50
00:01:51,610 --> 00:01:53,482
- And here's a little something
for you, Drew's brother.
51
00:01:53,569 --> 00:01:55,397
- Ow. What the f--
[bus horn honks]
52
00:01:55,484 --> 00:01:56,876
Shoot.
[honking continues]
53
00:01:56,963 --> 00:02:00,924
♪ ♪
54
00:02:01,011 --> 00:02:02,317
- [growls]
55
00:02:02,404 --> 00:02:03,579
No seats.
56
00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:05,320
- Here you go, Drew.
57
00:02:05,407 --> 00:02:06,364
Take mine.
58
00:02:06,451 --> 00:02:08,323
- [grunts]
59
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:09,324
Here, Drew.
60
00:02:09,411 --> 00:02:10,586
Please, sit.
61
00:02:13,806 --> 00:02:15,678
- Whoo!
62
00:02:15,765 --> 00:02:18,550
- Next, Nancy Reagan shows
us how to give the perfect--
63
00:02:18,637 --> 00:02:19,899
- Tonya, don't go yet.
64
00:02:19,986 --> 00:02:21,423
Now that Drew is going
to Chris's school,
65
00:02:21,510 --> 00:02:23,294
you'll be the first one home
every day.
66
00:02:23,381 --> 00:02:26,776
So we've decided
you're ready for your own key.
67
00:02:26,863 --> 00:02:28,473
- [gasps]
68
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:31,346
[dramatic electronic music]
69
00:02:31,433 --> 00:02:33,826
By the power of this key,
70
00:02:33,913 --> 00:02:38,788
I am a grown-up!
71
00:02:38,875 --> 00:02:40,485
- I can't believe it.
[sniffles]
72
00:02:40,572 --> 00:02:42,618
My little girl's
a latchkey kid.
73
00:02:42,705 --> 00:02:44,315
- Finally.
74
00:02:44,402 --> 00:02:45,882
Thank you, thank you, thank
you, thank you, thank you.
75
00:02:45,969 --> 00:02:48,406
- Hold on.
This is a big responsibility.
76
00:02:48,493 --> 00:02:50,060
We're trusting you
to let yourself in
77
00:02:50,147 --> 00:02:51,844
and mind the house alone.
78
00:02:51,931 --> 00:02:54,107
- Don't flash the key around,
don't let anyone in,
79
00:02:54,195 --> 00:02:56,066
and keep all the windows
and doors locked.
80
00:02:56,153 --> 00:02:58,155
- You think burglars
don't know how to climb?
81
00:02:58,242 --> 00:03:00,026
Their hands are good
for two things--
82
00:03:00,113 --> 00:03:01,767
climbing and burglaring.
83
00:03:01,854 --> 00:03:04,074
Okay, get going.
Love you, baby.
84
00:03:04,161 --> 00:03:05,815
- [humming]
85
00:03:05,902 --> 00:03:06,990
Ah!
- [grunts]
86
00:03:07,077 --> 00:03:08,948
- Son of a bitch.
87
00:03:09,035 --> 00:03:11,037
- And now we're gonna hear
from a parent
88
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,953
whose son
chased a slinky off a bridge.
89
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,608
- Rochelle, guess what I got.
90
00:03:16,695 --> 00:03:18,349
- I know what you got.
It got me three kids.
91
00:03:18,436 --> 00:03:19,785
- No.
92
00:03:19,872 --> 00:03:21,831
It's a two-for-one coupon
for that seafood place
93
00:03:21,918 --> 00:03:23,833
that also plays baseball games.
94
00:03:23,920 --> 00:03:25,313
Catch of the Day.
95
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:26,836
Let's do a date night there.
96
00:03:26,923 --> 00:03:29,186
- I'm not going
to no seafood restaurant.
97
00:03:29,273 --> 00:03:31,057
Sally Jessy
did an episode where
98
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:34,147
a beautiful, hardworking
mother of three ate fish,
99
00:03:34,235 --> 00:03:35,671
and do you know what happened?
100
00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:36,933
- She thanked her husband
for dinner?
101
00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:39,109
- She got gills, Julius.
102
00:03:39,196 --> 00:03:41,894
You won't catch me eating
no fish ever again.
103
00:03:41,981 --> 00:03:43,418
Why don't you take
one of your friends?
104
00:03:43,505 --> 00:03:44,636
- Friends?
105
00:03:44,723 --> 00:03:46,595
I got three kids,
two jobs, one wife,
106
00:03:46,682 --> 00:03:48,466
and zero seconds of free time.
107
00:03:48,553 --> 00:03:49,728
Adult friends
are for rich people.
108
00:03:49,815 --> 00:03:50,947
- Oh, come on.
109
00:03:51,034 --> 00:03:52,775
You've got plenty of friends.
110
00:03:52,862 --> 00:03:54,429
Well, what about--
111
00:03:54,516 --> 00:03:57,170
[wind whistling]
[bird screeches]
112
00:03:57,258 --> 00:03:58,520
Well, have fun
at work, sweetie.
113
00:03:58,607 --> 00:04:00,435
♪ ♪
114
00:04:00,522 --> 00:04:01,871
- You didn't get robbed.
115
00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:03,960
You got a seat on the bus,
and the driver
116
00:04:04,047 --> 00:04:05,309
gave you a lollipop?
117
00:04:05,396 --> 00:04:07,529
- Weird, right?
- Weird great.
118
00:04:07,616 --> 00:04:10,271
When you're with Drew, you get
trickle-down popularity.
119
00:04:10,358 --> 00:04:11,837
His trickles are all over you.
120
00:04:11,924 --> 00:04:13,535
- I don't want his trickles
if it means
121
00:04:13,622 --> 00:04:15,101
I'm just known
as "Drew's brother."
122
00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:17,756
- Look, it's already happening,
and we gotta reap the benefits.
123
00:04:17,843 --> 00:04:19,105
- [sighs]
124
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:20,498
I guess if people
see me with him,
125
00:04:20,585 --> 00:04:21,456
they'll think I'm cool too.
126
00:04:21,543 --> 00:04:22,805
- Exactly.
127
00:04:22,892 --> 00:04:25,677
People will think
we're cool too.
128
00:04:25,764 --> 00:04:27,200
'Sup, girl?
129
00:04:27,288 --> 00:04:29,377
I'm Drew's brother's brother
from another mother.
130
00:04:29,464 --> 00:04:31,466
- [giggles]
131
00:04:31,553 --> 00:04:32,641
- Hmm.
132
00:04:34,773 --> 00:04:36,949
Before there was
"American Ninja Warrior,"
133
00:04:37,036 --> 00:04:41,214
my dad was the American
no-time-for-friends warrior.
134
00:04:41,302 --> 00:04:43,869
[adventurous music]
135
00:04:43,956 --> 00:04:49,614
♪ ♪
136
00:04:49,701 --> 00:04:52,225
He dodged situations
that could lead to friendship
137
00:04:52,313 --> 00:04:54,576
like Wesley Snipes
dodged taxes.
138
00:04:54,663 --> 00:04:56,229
- Morning, Julius.
139
00:04:56,317 --> 00:04:58,580
My one-man show "The Great
Fatsby" is this weekend.
140
00:04:58,667 --> 00:04:59,711
- [imitates plane humming]
141
00:04:59,798 --> 00:05:01,060
- I'd love for you to come!
142
00:05:01,147 --> 00:05:02,845
- [grunting]
143
00:05:02,932 --> 00:05:04,499
- Did you hear?
144
00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:05,848
My doctor said the leaking
is totally normal.
145
00:05:05,935 --> 00:05:08,416
[muffled grunting]
- Julius, I need your help.
146
00:05:08,503 --> 00:05:09,895
I just backed my truck
into one of our co--
147
00:05:09,982 --> 00:05:11,157
- [grunts]
148
00:05:13,464 --> 00:05:15,074
[grunts]
149
00:05:17,294 --> 00:05:18,339
[grunts]
150
00:05:21,603 --> 00:05:22,647
- Howdy.
- [yelps]
151
00:05:22,734 --> 00:05:24,257
Damn it!
- Uh-oh.
152
00:05:24,345 --> 00:05:26,738
- Who are you?
- The name's Romeo.
153
00:05:26,825 --> 00:05:28,827
First day.
[chuckles]
154
00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:31,264
Yeah, you know, uh, bosses said
it'll take a week
155
00:05:31,352 --> 00:05:34,311
to get my truck ready
and, uh, to, uh,
156
00:05:34,398 --> 00:05:38,010
tack on my deliveries
onto yours.
157
00:05:38,097 --> 00:05:39,447
Heh. Yeah.
158
00:05:39,534 --> 00:05:40,448
[nervous chuckle]
159
00:05:42,319 --> 00:05:43,799
[engine turns over]
160
00:05:43,886 --> 00:05:45,148
Okay.
161
00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:50,545
- Hey.
I was just looking for you.
162
00:05:50,632 --> 00:05:52,329
Wanna go on a date with us?
- Date?
163
00:05:52,416 --> 00:05:53,765
Yes!
164
00:05:53,852 --> 00:05:55,158
Oh, God, I never thought
this would happen for me.
165
00:05:55,245 --> 00:05:56,768
- We meant with Drew.
166
00:05:56,855 --> 00:05:58,422
- Cool. Sounds like fun.
167
00:05:58,509 --> 00:06:00,424
- But you can come, too...
168
00:06:00,511 --> 00:06:02,557
[voice echoing]
Drew's brother.
169
00:06:02,644 --> 00:06:06,038
[dramatic music]
170
00:06:06,125 --> 00:06:07,692
- Greg was right.
171
00:06:07,779 --> 00:06:09,999
Even if it meant being
stuck in Drew's shadow
172
00:06:10,086 --> 00:06:13,002
and seen as Drew's brother,
I didn't care,
173
00:06:13,089 --> 00:06:14,960
because Drew's brother
had a date.
174
00:06:15,047 --> 00:06:17,354
Well, Drew had it,
but I'd be there,
175
00:06:17,441 --> 00:06:19,443
and he can't multitask.
176
00:06:22,011 --> 00:06:23,360
- [whimpers]
177
00:06:23,447 --> 00:06:25,536
If I don't get inside,
Mama's gonna kill me,
178
00:06:25,623 --> 00:06:27,408
Mr. Omar's gonna
have to plan my funeral.
179
00:06:27,495 --> 00:06:29,410
[gasps]
Mr. Omar!
180
00:06:29,497 --> 00:06:30,759
That's it!
- W--what's it?
181
00:06:30,846 --> 00:06:32,413
What did you find?
- Oh, hey, Kill Moves.
182
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,110
I figured out how
to get into the apartment
183
00:06:34,197 --> 00:06:36,025
before Mama's done
with her errands.
184
00:06:36,112 --> 00:06:38,244
And I just remembered
Mr. Omar always comes home
185
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:41,030
at 3:15 to console a widow.
186
00:06:41,117 --> 00:06:42,248
- Excuse me.
187
00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:43,989
I'm being summoned
by my dark lord.
188
00:06:44,076 --> 00:06:45,426
[laughs]
189
00:06:47,253 --> 00:06:48,385
- Thanks, Mr. Omar.
190
00:06:48,472 --> 00:06:49,865
See you tomorrow at 3:15.
191
00:06:49,952 --> 00:06:52,476
- Actually, Miss Tonya,
no, you will not.
192
00:06:52,563 --> 00:06:55,914
I'll be at a casket convention
in Atlantic City.
193
00:06:56,001 --> 00:06:56,959
Tragic!
194
00:06:57,046 --> 00:06:58,090
- [chuckles nervously]
195
00:06:58,177 --> 00:07:00,266
Atlantic City? What?
196
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:01,703
- Come on, sweet cheeks.
197
00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:04,053
Let's fill that hole
in your heart.
198
00:07:04,140 --> 00:07:05,184
- [giggles]
199
00:07:05,271 --> 00:07:07,099
- [groans]
200
00:07:07,186 --> 00:07:09,188
[dog barking]
201
00:07:09,275 --> 00:07:11,016
- How was your day, baby?
202
00:07:11,103 --> 00:07:13,236
- Informative.
203
00:07:13,323 --> 00:07:16,326
I watched a Sally Jessy episode
about how men can get pregnant;
204
00:07:16,413 --> 00:07:18,110
they just choose not to.
205
00:07:18,197 --> 00:07:20,722
- That's great.
[exhales]
206
00:07:20,809 --> 00:07:22,593
Oh, God, am I pregnant?
We can't afford a new baby.
207
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,160
We can't afford our old babies!
208
00:07:24,247 --> 00:07:26,118
- Julius, calm down.
209
00:07:26,205 --> 00:07:27,946
I wanna hear about your day.
210
00:07:28,033 --> 00:07:31,602
- Oh.
I had coffee, ate half a donut.
211
00:07:31,689 --> 00:07:33,648
[grunts]
212
00:07:33,735 --> 00:07:35,650
Shared my truck
with a guy named Romeo,
213
00:07:35,737 --> 00:07:37,826
ate the other half
of the donut.
214
00:07:37,913 --> 00:07:39,480
[snores]
215
00:07:39,567 --> 00:07:40,219
- Hold up.
- [yelps]
216
00:07:40,306 --> 00:07:41,307
- You have a truck buddy?
217
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,831
That's great, baby.
218
00:07:42,918 --> 00:07:44,920
What's he like?
What y'all talk about?
219
00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:46,704
- Uh...
220
00:07:50,099 --> 00:07:52,231
- [coughs]
221
00:07:54,756 --> 00:07:58,063
- Julius, that poor man didn't
ask to be stuck with you.
222
00:07:58,150 --> 00:08:00,413
The least you could do
is be nice to him.
223
00:08:00,501 --> 00:08:02,154
- The least you can do
is let me sleep.
224
00:08:02,241 --> 00:08:05,288
- Sally Jessy also said
men who sass their wives
225
00:08:05,375 --> 00:08:07,333
mysteriously disappear.
226
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,031
See you in the morning.
227
00:08:09,118 --> 00:08:10,946
Maybe.
- Eep.
228
00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:11,686
[switch clicks]
229
00:08:14,297 --> 00:08:16,647
- Where's that damn spare key?
230
00:08:16,734 --> 00:08:17,996
- Tonya, what are you doing?
231
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:19,432
- Nothing, Mama.
232
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,522
I thought you were out.
What are you doing?
233
00:08:21,609 --> 00:08:23,175
- Walking around in my house.
234
00:08:23,262 --> 00:08:25,264
Ooh, I'm glad you haven't
left for school yet.
235
00:08:25,351 --> 00:08:26,222
Come here.
236
00:08:27,832 --> 00:08:29,878
This meat needs to
thaw before dinner.
237
00:08:29,965 --> 00:08:31,575
I have a hair appointment
this afternoon,
238
00:08:31,662 --> 00:08:33,403
so I need you
to put it in the oven
239
00:08:33,490 --> 00:08:36,058
right when you get home at 2:30
and not a minute after.
240
00:08:36,145 --> 00:08:37,799
The second worst thing
after a burglar
241
00:08:37,886 --> 00:08:39,931
is salmonella,
the burglars of meat.
242
00:08:40,018 --> 00:08:40,671
- Yes, Mama.
243
00:08:42,934 --> 00:08:43,935
Crap.
244
00:08:44,022 --> 00:08:46,068
Now how am I gonna get in
today?
245
00:08:46,155 --> 00:08:47,286
[gasps]
246
00:08:47,373 --> 00:08:49,158
The window.
247
00:08:49,245 --> 00:08:51,943
[furtive music]
248
00:08:52,030 --> 00:08:56,731
Tonya, this is why
you're everyone's favorite.
249
00:08:56,818 --> 00:08:58,733
- Phil Hartman might
be the funniest
250
00:08:58,820 --> 00:09:00,778
"SNL" cast member right now.
- What?
251
00:09:00,865 --> 00:09:02,737
Eddie Murphy's
the all-time best
252
00:09:02,824 --> 00:09:03,912
for that James Brown sketch
alone.
253
00:09:03,999 --> 00:09:05,130
[as Eddie Murphy]
Uh, good God!
254
00:09:05,217 --> 00:09:06,828
- Eddie Murphy
is the all-time best
255
00:09:06,915 --> 00:09:09,265
for that James Brown
sketch alone.
256
00:09:09,352 --> 00:09:11,441
- Uh, that's what I just said.
257
00:09:11,528 --> 00:09:13,748
Hello?
Can you guys hear me?
258
00:09:13,835 --> 00:09:15,880
By being in Drew's shadow,
259
00:09:15,967 --> 00:09:18,230
I ended up with no identity
at all.
260
00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:20,450
I was like the Asian dude
in Black Eyed Peas.
261
00:09:20,537 --> 00:09:21,625
- Hey, Drew.
262
00:09:21,712 --> 00:09:22,713
Where's Drew's brother?
263
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,976
- Brandy! I'm right here!
264
00:09:25,063 --> 00:09:27,283
- Yeah, I haven't seen
Drew's brother all day.
265
00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:28,676
- Hello.
266
00:09:28,763 --> 00:09:30,155
Drew's brother,
right behind you.
267
00:09:30,242 --> 00:09:31,853
- Mm, that's too bad.
268
00:09:31,940 --> 00:09:33,855
I was gonna let him take me out
and pay for everything,
269
00:09:33,942 --> 00:09:34,856
but for some reason,
I just don't
270
00:09:34,943 --> 00:09:36,118
feel like using him anymore.
271
00:09:36,205 --> 00:09:39,817
- No!
272
00:09:41,253 --> 00:09:43,516
- [grunts]
273
00:09:43,604 --> 00:09:44,909
Morning, Julius.
274
00:09:44,996 --> 00:09:46,694
- Ah.
275
00:09:46,781 --> 00:09:49,392
both: Coffee, sugar,
cream, cream, cream.
276
00:09:49,479 --> 00:09:51,046
- Huh.
277
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,221
- [chuckles]
We're cream brothers.
278
00:09:52,308 --> 00:09:53,831
- Ew.
279
00:09:55,528 --> 00:09:58,575
- The least you can do
is be nice.
280
00:10:00,446 --> 00:10:01,665
Don't you stir me away, Ju--
281
00:10:01,752 --> 00:10:02,623
[burbling]
282
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:08,977
- Romeo, uh, if you get
a coffee when they restock,
283
00:10:09,064 --> 00:10:13,024
you can take a few extra
Styrofoam cups.
284
00:10:13,111 --> 00:10:14,722
Never mind.
285
00:10:14,809 --> 00:10:18,334
- You know, um, if you come
between 8:50 and 9:00 a.m.,
286
00:10:18,421 --> 00:10:21,293
you can take the day-old donuts
before they're trashed.
287
00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:24,514
I'm pretty cheap.
288
00:10:24,601 --> 00:10:26,124
- Me too.
289
00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:27,256
- You ever made
your own toothbrush?
290
00:10:27,343 --> 00:10:28,910
- Why?
291
00:10:28,997 --> 00:10:30,520
I got a perfectly
good one right here.
292
00:10:30,607 --> 00:10:32,435
- Damn.
293
00:10:32,522 --> 00:10:33,741
[school bell rings]
294
00:10:33,828 --> 00:10:35,481
- Greg, can you see me?
295
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:36,613
- Yes.
296
00:10:36,700 --> 00:10:39,007
Uh, why wouldn't I be able to?
297
00:10:39,094 --> 00:10:40,748
- Because no one else can.
Wait.
298
00:10:40,835 --> 00:10:42,445
Maybe you can see me
299
00:10:42,532 --> 00:10:44,882
because you're an even bigger
loser than I am.
300
00:10:44,969 --> 00:10:47,232
- Yeah, exactly.
Wait, I don't want that.
301
00:10:47,319 --> 00:10:49,408
- Being Drew's brother
has made me a nobody,
302
00:10:49,495 --> 00:10:52,020
and I need to figure out
how to get out of his shadow.
303
00:10:52,107 --> 00:10:53,848
- Okay, but would you rather
go back to being
304
00:10:53,935 --> 00:10:55,327
a skinny nerd that everyone
hates?
305
00:10:55,414 --> 00:10:57,895
- What? No.
Both are terrible options.
306
00:10:57,982 --> 00:11:00,158
I wanna have my own cool thing.
307
00:11:00,245 --> 00:11:02,857
That day I tried
anything and everything
308
00:11:02,944 --> 00:11:05,598
to create a new identity.
309
00:11:05,686 --> 00:11:07,035
Backpack in front guy!
310
00:11:07,122 --> 00:11:07,862
- No.
311
00:11:09,646 --> 00:11:11,561
- Literal class clown guy.
312
00:11:11,648 --> 00:11:14,042
- No.
- Damn it.
313
00:11:14,129 --> 00:11:17,175
Antihero teen heartthrob guy.
314
00:11:17,262 --> 00:11:18,873
- No one's gonna buy that.
- Hey, guys. What's up?
315
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,091
- [as Eddie Murphy]
Oh, good God!
316
00:11:20,178 --> 00:11:22,572
- [chuckles]
Chris, that was dope.
317
00:11:22,659 --> 00:11:25,183
You guys, check this out.
318
00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:26,619
- Uh...
319
00:11:28,447 --> 00:11:30,058
[as Eddie Murphy]
It's too hot in the hot tub.
320
00:11:30,145 --> 00:11:31,842
[laughter]
- Eddie Murphy?
321
00:11:31,929 --> 00:11:33,975
- That's funny.
322
00:11:34,062 --> 00:11:35,367
- Hey,
you're really good at that.
323
00:11:35,454 --> 00:11:36,891
- Wow, you did it.
324
00:11:36,978 --> 00:11:38,153
You're out of Drew's shadow,
325
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,894
and you found
your own personality.
326
00:11:39,981 --> 00:11:41,286
Doing an impression of a guy
327
00:11:41,373 --> 00:11:43,549
doing an impression
of another guy.
328
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:47,031
[upbeat music]
329
00:11:47,118 --> 00:11:48,641
- [gasps]
330
00:11:48,729 --> 00:11:50,643
[tense music]
331
00:11:50,731 --> 00:11:54,430
If there's a burglar,
I'll cut your burgling hands.
332
00:11:54,517 --> 00:12:01,350
♪ ♪
333
00:12:01,437 --> 00:12:03,656
[music stops]
334
00:12:03,744 --> 00:12:06,529
That's what I thought.
335
00:12:06,616 --> 00:12:09,750
- Our next guests are
the four elderly prostitutes
336
00:12:09,837 --> 00:12:11,664
who inspired "Golden Girls."
337
00:12:11,752 --> 00:12:13,014
- What are you doing home?
338
00:12:13,101 --> 00:12:14,450
- I finished
my deliveries early,
339
00:12:14,537 --> 00:12:15,886
and I've wanted to nap
before going back.
340
00:12:15,973 --> 00:12:17,496
- How nice.
341
00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:20,325
Did a certain new friend
have something to do with it?
342
00:12:20,412 --> 00:12:21,979
- He might have.
343
00:12:22,066 --> 00:12:23,633
- Just say I was right, Julius.
344
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,330
- Of course you were right.
345
00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:26,854
Romeo and I actually
have a lot in common.
346
00:12:26,941 --> 00:12:28,159
In fact, we're getting dinner.
347
00:12:28,246 --> 00:12:30,509
- Oh, that's great, baby,
348
00:12:30,596 --> 00:12:32,685
especially 'cause now
I don't have to go.
349
00:12:32,773 --> 00:12:34,818
I bet his wife would be happy
to have a night
350
00:12:34,905 --> 00:12:36,646
to herself too.
- Oh, no wife.
351
00:12:36,733 --> 00:12:37,603
He's single.
- Nope.
352
00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,475
Can't ever see him again.
353
00:12:39,562 --> 00:12:42,173
- Rochelle, you can't tell me
who I can and can't see.
354
00:12:42,260 --> 00:12:44,436
- Julius, single men his age
are trouble.
355
00:12:44,523 --> 00:12:46,961
They go to strip clubs,
have weird pets.
356
00:12:47,048 --> 00:12:47,962
Their lips are always chapped.
357
00:12:48,049 --> 00:12:49,615
- Rochelle, that's crazy.
358
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,966
Let me guess--
that's what Sally said?
359
00:12:52,053 --> 00:12:53,184
You gotta watch something else.
360
00:12:53,271 --> 00:12:54,969
- She said you would say that.
361
00:12:55,056 --> 00:12:56,057
- I think you're overreacting.
362
00:12:56,144 --> 00:12:57,885
- [grunts]
- Look at that.
363
00:12:57,972 --> 00:12:59,712
Nap time's over. Back to work.
364
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:00,626
[door opens, closes]
365
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,933
- Oh.
366
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:04,848
- My man works so hard,
367
00:13:04,935 --> 00:13:07,459
and I wish I hadn't pushed him
to make friends.
368
00:13:07,546 --> 00:13:10,767
Now he has no jobs,
two wives, and six kids.
369
00:13:10,854 --> 00:13:12,160
[audience gasps]
370
00:13:12,247 --> 00:13:13,683
- To think this
wouldn't have happened
371
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:16,642
if you let your man
live his life, Rochelle.
372
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,035
[dramatic tone]
373
00:13:18,122 --> 00:13:19,732
- You don't know me, Sally.
374
00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:20,908
I'm done.
375
00:13:22,997 --> 00:13:26,696
- Chris, I heard you do
a good Eddie Murphy.
376
00:13:26,783 --> 00:13:27,958
I love him.
377
00:13:28,045 --> 00:13:29,873
He's the right kinda
you people.
378
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,440
Stand up and let me see it.
379
00:13:31,527 --> 00:13:32,920
- Okay.
380
00:13:33,007 --> 00:13:35,618
If you insist.
381
00:13:35,705 --> 00:13:37,054
[as Eddie Murphy]
Do you think we got a pop quiz?
382
00:13:37,141 --> 00:13:39,100
Ah, ah.
I think we got a pop quiz.
383
00:13:39,187 --> 00:13:40,536
Good God! Hey!
384
00:13:40,623 --> 00:13:42,930
[laughter]
385
00:13:43,017 --> 00:13:45,106
Ow.
- You're not funny.
386
00:13:45,193 --> 00:13:46,759
The only reason
people are laughing
387
00:13:46,847 --> 00:13:47,935
is 'cause Drew told them to.
388
00:13:48,022 --> 00:13:49,588
You suck, James Black.
389
00:13:49,675 --> 00:13:52,678
- [laughs]
390
00:13:52,765 --> 00:13:53,897
- That's funny?
391
00:13:56,552 --> 00:13:58,032
- [gasps]
What the hell?
392
00:13:58,119 --> 00:13:59,468
It's closed!
393
00:13:59,555 --> 00:14:02,210
[gasps] Oh, no.
394
00:14:02,297 --> 00:14:03,951
The meat burglars.
395
00:14:04,038 --> 00:14:06,736
[unsettling music]
396
00:14:06,823 --> 00:14:10,131
all:
[yawning]
397
00:14:10,218 --> 00:14:13,047
[upbeat music]
398
00:14:13,134 --> 00:14:18,443
♪ ♪
399
00:14:18,530 --> 00:14:21,446
Salmonella! Salmonella!
400
00:14:23,622 --> 00:14:27,191
- If that salmonella
don't kill me, my mama will.
401
00:14:27,278 --> 00:14:29,411
- Did you tell people
to laugh at my impressions?
402
00:14:29,498 --> 00:14:30,847
- Yeah.
What's the big deal?
403
00:14:30,934 --> 00:14:33,154
- Do you know how that feels?
404
00:14:33,241 --> 00:14:36,548
[somber organ music]
405
00:14:36,635 --> 00:14:41,902
♪ ♪
406
00:14:41,989 --> 00:14:44,817
The big deal is that
it's embarrassing.
407
00:14:44,905 --> 00:14:47,559
- Well, Mom asked me
to look out for you, so...
408
00:14:47,646 --> 00:14:49,170
- But I'm your older brother.
409
00:14:49,257 --> 00:14:50,736
I'm the one who's supposed
to be looking out for you.
410
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:54,305
- How could you
look out for me?
411
00:14:54,392 --> 00:14:56,568
[sinister music]
412
00:14:56,655 --> 00:14:57,700
- [grunts]
413
00:14:57,787 --> 00:14:59,267
- Hey!
414
00:14:59,354 --> 00:15:01,573
As Sensei Jason says,
hugs before shoves,
415
00:15:01,660 --> 00:15:03,706
but shoves deserve shoves.
416
00:15:03,793 --> 00:15:05,316
[both grunting]
417
00:15:05,403 --> 00:15:09,277
crowd: [chanting]
Drew! Drew! Drew!
418
00:15:09,364 --> 00:15:10,974
- I hate going
to school with you.
419
00:15:11,061 --> 00:15:12,889
[grunts]
420
00:15:12,976 --> 00:15:14,760
- [yelps] You ripped
my favorite shirt.
421
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,153
[students gasp]
422
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:18,286
- [gasps]
Oh, that was an accident.
423
00:15:18,373 --> 00:15:20,636
- [growls]
424
00:15:20,723 --> 00:15:22,333
- Ah!
425
00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:23,900
If that kick had been
one inch lower,
426
00:15:23,987 --> 00:15:25,249
I wouldn't have kids.
427
00:15:25,336 --> 00:15:26,772
[moans]
428
00:15:28,035 --> 00:15:29,645
- I'm so busted.
429
00:15:29,732 --> 00:15:31,125
- What you doing,
little unfunny dude
430
00:15:31,212 --> 00:15:32,735
from across the street sister?
431
00:15:32,822 --> 00:15:34,345
- I lost my house key
and can't get back in.
432
00:15:34,432 --> 00:15:36,434
My parents are gonna be pissed.
433
00:15:36,521 --> 00:15:37,696
- No problem, shorty.
434
00:15:37,783 --> 00:15:38,654
I got you.
435
00:15:38,741 --> 00:15:39,698
[grunts]
436
00:15:39,785 --> 00:15:41,091
- [gasps] Jerome!
437
00:15:41,178 --> 00:15:42,963
You broke our window!
438
00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:45,226
- You're welcome.
439
00:15:45,313 --> 00:15:48,707
[furtive music]
440
00:15:48,794 --> 00:15:52,146
♪ ♪
441
00:15:52,233 --> 00:15:53,930
[bacteria chattering]
442
00:15:54,017 --> 00:15:56,150
[all screaming]
443
00:15:56,237 --> 00:15:57,499
- This isn't the last of us!
444
00:15:57,586 --> 00:15:59,936
[indistinct shouting]
445
00:16:00,023 --> 00:16:01,416
[screaming]
446
00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:02,983
- [exhales deeply]
447
00:16:04,723 --> 00:16:08,205
Now, how do I blame this
on Chris?
448
00:16:08,292 --> 00:16:11,687
- Hey-hey, Big J. [chuckles]
Ah, excited for tonight.
449
00:16:11,774 --> 00:16:13,558
You know, your, uh--
your boy here
450
00:16:13,645 --> 00:16:15,908
doesn't go out
to restaurants that much.
451
00:16:15,996 --> 00:16:17,519
- You're married to your job.
452
00:16:17,606 --> 00:16:18,955
Hell, I would be, too,
if I hadn't
453
00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:20,348
already married Rochelle.
454
00:16:20,435 --> 00:16:22,393
- No, because I just eat
at the strip club.
455
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:23,525
- Oh.
456
00:16:23,612 --> 00:16:25,744
- Speaking of,
let me say thanks
457
00:16:25,831 --> 00:16:28,051
for dinner by taking
you to dessert at, uh,
458
00:16:28,138 --> 00:16:29,966
Jiggle 'n Juice.
459
00:16:30,053 --> 00:16:32,447
- Uh, I don't know.
460
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:35,711
- Come on, they have
unlimited breasts and thighs.
461
00:16:35,798 --> 00:16:37,060
And chicken.
462
00:16:37,147 --> 00:16:38,366
The cover is 50 bucks,
463
00:16:38,453 --> 00:16:40,324
but you get ten minutes
in the Rosé Room.
464
00:16:40,411 --> 00:16:41,586
- $50?
465
00:16:41,673 --> 00:16:43,284
I thought you said
you were cheap.
466
00:16:43,371 --> 00:16:46,026
- I am--so I can spend money
on my true passions.
467
00:16:46,113 --> 00:16:49,507
Strippers, sparkling wine,
and my jaguar.
468
00:16:49,594 --> 00:16:50,856
- You drive a Jaguar?
469
00:16:50,943 --> 00:16:53,511
- No! The animal.
470
00:16:53,598 --> 00:16:56,427
Ah, not supposed to have it
in my apartment, but, God,
471
00:16:56,514 --> 00:16:58,342
he's barely attacked
anyone but me.
472
00:16:58,429 --> 00:17:00,388
- Whoa. Ugh.
473
00:17:00,475 --> 00:17:01,606
[sighs]
474
00:17:01,693 --> 00:17:04,131
Romeo, I'm a family man.
475
00:17:04,218 --> 00:17:06,089
So, sadly,
I'm gonna have to take
476
00:17:06,176 --> 00:17:08,178
a forever rain check
on all that.
477
00:17:08,265 --> 00:17:10,180
[soft R&B music]
478
00:17:10,267 --> 00:17:14,706
- Guess we can, uh, only be
work friends, then, huh?
479
00:17:14,793 --> 00:17:21,713
♪ ♪
480
00:17:23,759 --> 00:17:27,850
Uh, I should go see
if my truck's ready.
481
00:17:27,937 --> 00:17:29,808
- Hey, we'll always have
482
00:17:29,895 --> 00:17:31,680
coffee, sugar,
cream, cream, cream.
483
00:17:31,767 --> 00:17:33,812
- Yeah.
484
00:17:33,899 --> 00:17:34,987
Hey, Marquis!
485
00:17:35,075 --> 00:17:36,728
See you at the Jiggle?
486
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,471
- [groans]
- [mutters]
487
00:17:40,558 --> 00:17:42,560
- Hmm, what happened
to Drew's shirt?
488
00:17:42,647 --> 00:17:44,997
And why are you
holding your nuts?
489
00:17:45,085 --> 00:17:47,783
- Uh, Drew and I
got into a fight about--
490
00:17:47,870 --> 00:17:49,654
oh, never mind.
491
00:17:49,741 --> 00:17:50,786
It's none of your business.
492
00:17:50,873 --> 00:17:53,049
- Boys, groceries!
[car horn honks]
493
00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:00,361
[sighs]
I envy you boys.
494
00:18:00,448 --> 00:18:02,319
It's hard making new friends.
495
00:18:02,406 --> 00:18:05,235
The older you get, the less
in common you have with folks.
496
00:18:05,322 --> 00:18:07,672
All the friends I had
when I was younger are gone.
497
00:18:07,759 --> 00:18:11,154
Some moved, some died,
some became cops.
498
00:18:11,241 --> 00:18:13,461
You boys are lucky
you have each other.
499
00:18:13,548 --> 00:18:16,028
A brother's someone
you always have time for.
500
00:18:16,116 --> 00:18:17,552
He's a built-in friend.
501
00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:19,162
- Like you and Uncle Louis?
502
00:18:19,249 --> 00:18:21,208
- No.
That chiropractor show-off.
503
00:18:21,295 --> 00:18:23,210
He can rot in fake doctor hell,
504
00:18:23,297 --> 00:18:25,342
right next to the podiatrists
and dentists.
505
00:18:25,429 --> 00:18:27,039
- Okay, my bad. Jeez.
506
00:18:27,127 --> 00:18:28,563
- Boys, go wash up for dinner.
507
00:18:28,650 --> 00:18:30,347
I'll help your dad
with the rest.
508
00:18:30,434 --> 00:18:32,175
- Did you say something
to Dad, you narc?
509
00:18:32,262 --> 00:18:33,655
- No.
510
00:18:33,742 --> 00:18:35,657
He's probably just
reflecting on his day, fool.
511
00:18:35,744 --> 00:18:37,137
- Hey, baby.
512
00:18:37,224 --> 00:18:39,182
- You were right.
- I know.
513
00:18:39,269 --> 00:18:40,401
About what?
514
00:18:40,488 --> 00:18:41,663
- Let's just say me and Romeo
515
00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:43,839
are only gonna be work friends.
516
00:18:43,926 --> 00:18:47,364
[sighs] I guess
I won't be using this.
517
00:18:47,451 --> 00:18:48,974
- Pfft. You think we're rich?
518
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,715
We can't waste a coupon.
519
00:18:50,802 --> 00:18:52,587
Date night?
- Ah.
520
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:54,284
Dinner with my best friend
and wife?
521
00:18:54,371 --> 00:18:57,983
Best two-for-one there is.
522
00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,594
- He had a pet tiger,
didn't he?
523
00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:01,073
- Nope.
- Panther?
524
00:19:01,161 --> 00:19:02,945
Leopard. Snow leopard.
525
00:19:06,992 --> 00:19:08,603
- Aw, thanks for helping.
526
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:10,779
It's nice to be able
to rely on you.
527
00:19:10,866 --> 00:19:12,868
- Oh, Mama, if only you could.
528
00:19:12,955 --> 00:19:15,958
I--I feel awful, Mama. Awful.
529
00:19:16,045 --> 00:19:17,525
I had to break a window
to get in and--
530
00:19:17,612 --> 00:19:18,787
- You what?
531
00:19:18,874 --> 00:19:21,355
- Drew and Chris
got into a fight,
532
00:19:21,442 --> 00:19:23,052
and the thought of
my brothers fighting
533
00:19:23,139 --> 00:19:26,186
broke my heart so much that
I forgot where I put my key,
534
00:19:26,273 --> 00:19:28,797
and I got locked out.
535
00:19:28,884 --> 00:19:30,929
- Oh, baby, it's okay.
536
00:19:31,016 --> 00:19:33,541
Go ask Daddy,
and he'll get you another key.
537
00:19:33,628 --> 00:19:35,499
- Tonya got away
with it again.
538
00:19:35,586 --> 00:19:37,675
But I got her back
on her wedding day.
539
00:19:37,762 --> 00:19:40,112
I upstaged her
by just showing up.
540
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:41,766
- Excuse me.
541
00:19:41,853 --> 00:19:43,028
I need to deal
with your brothers.
542
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:45,292
[upbeat music]
543
00:19:45,379 --> 00:19:47,990
- So, uh, is your shirt
ripped that bad?
544
00:19:48,077 --> 00:19:50,210
- Nah.
I'm sure Mom could fix it.
545
00:19:50,297 --> 00:19:52,777
Are your, you know, okay?
546
00:19:52,864 --> 00:19:54,301
- I don't know yet.
547
00:19:54,388 --> 00:19:56,564
It's like they're
morphed into one.
548
00:19:56,651 --> 00:19:58,566
We admitted respect
for each other
549
00:19:58,653 --> 00:20:00,437
the way every man does
with his friends,
550
00:20:00,524 --> 00:20:03,397
by not admitting a damn thing.
551
00:20:03,484 --> 00:20:05,225
[sinister music]
552
00:20:05,312 --> 00:20:08,140
- You were fighting?
553
00:20:08,228 --> 00:20:10,099
I told both of you
to stick together
554
00:20:10,186 --> 00:20:11,535
so you wouldn't get
in trouble and--
555
00:20:11,622 --> 00:20:13,189
both:
It's my fault.
556
00:20:13,276 --> 00:20:14,669
- So if you're
gonna punish us...
557
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,627
- You'll have to punish
both of us.
558
00:20:16,714 --> 00:20:19,456
- Sticking together now, huh?
559
00:20:19,543 --> 00:20:20,979
Well, I'm glad
my boys are friends.
560
00:20:21,066 --> 00:20:22,677
- [sighs]
561
00:20:22,764 --> 00:20:24,026
- But that ain't
how this works.
562
00:20:24,113 --> 00:20:25,723
Chris, you're the oldest,
563
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:27,638
and you should set a better
example for your brother.
564
00:20:27,725 --> 00:20:29,031
You know better.
565
00:20:29,118 --> 00:20:30,772
Drew, leave us.
566
00:20:34,602 --> 00:20:37,431
I'm gonna slap you
into next Tuesday.
567
00:20:37,518 --> 00:20:39,911
- Well, Sally,
I was just sitting there
568
00:20:39,998 --> 00:20:41,652
on a random Tuesday,
569
00:20:41,739 --> 00:20:43,828
and then this other Chris
showed up.
570
00:20:43,915 --> 00:20:46,309
But there can be only one.
- [gasps]
571
00:20:46,396 --> 00:20:50,357
singers: ♪ Everybody
still hates Chris ♪
572
00:20:50,444 --> 00:20:52,315
[vocalizing]
573
00:20:52,402 --> 00:20:55,318
[indistinct chatter]
574
00:20:55,405 --> 00:20:58,060
[crunching, chewing]
575
00:20:58,147 --> 00:21:00,584
[bat cracks, crowd cheers]
576
00:21:00,671 --> 00:21:02,107
[soft upbeat music]
577
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:03,935
[crunching, scratching]
578
00:21:04,022 --> 00:21:05,328
[squelching]
579
00:21:05,328 --> 00:21:10,328
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580
00:21:05,328 --> 00:21:15,328
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