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DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV
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00:00:05,504 --> 00:00:07,767
[upbeat hip-hop music]
3
00:00:07,854 --> 00:00:09,900
- In the '80s,
my number one rule
4
00:00:09,987 --> 00:00:12,163
was to avoid bullies
at all costs.
5
00:00:12,250 --> 00:00:13,947
I avoided them at home.
6
00:00:14,035 --> 00:00:15,079
- Hey!
- Chris did it.
7
00:00:15,166 --> 00:00:17,299
Mama, get your belt.
8
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:19,997
- I avoided bullies
on the block.
9
00:00:20,084 --> 00:00:22,565
- Yo, let me hold a dollar.
10
00:00:22,652 --> 00:00:24,045
- I'm gonna jaywalk.
11
00:00:24,132 --> 00:00:25,089
[grunts]
12
00:00:25,176 --> 00:00:26,134
[handcuffs clink]
13
00:00:26,221 --> 00:00:27,570
And I definitely tried
14
00:00:27,657 --> 00:00:29,224
to avoid the bullies
at school.
15
00:00:29,311 --> 00:00:31,226
- Whoa, look, it's Rick Lames.
16
00:00:31,313 --> 00:00:32,923
- Eep.
17
00:00:33,967 --> 00:00:36,492
[hums]
18
00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:39,321
So when a new freshman
who bullied like a senior
19
00:00:39,408 --> 00:00:41,062
showed up, I was ready.
20
00:00:41,149 --> 00:00:42,498
- Yo, bitch.
21
00:00:42,585 --> 00:00:43,542
- Black power.
22
00:00:43,629 --> 00:00:45,240
[grunts]
[handcuffs clink]
23
00:00:50,027 --> 00:00:53,074
- Aww, my maternity muumuu.
24
00:00:53,161 --> 00:00:54,510
I guess the last time I packed
25
00:00:54,597 --> 00:00:56,468
for a trip was when
I gave birth to Tonya.
26
00:00:56,555 --> 00:00:58,383
- How are you going
on a work trip?
27
00:00:58,470 --> 00:01:00,211
I thought you were gonna get
severance money
28
00:01:00,298 --> 00:01:03,084
to buy me singing lessons
for the spring musical.
29
00:01:03,171 --> 00:01:04,389
- I am, sweetie.
30
00:01:04,476 --> 00:01:06,826
Mama's working really hard
to get laid off.
31
00:01:06,913 --> 00:01:08,350
But yesterday
my boss announced
32
00:01:08,437 --> 00:01:10,221
an all-expense-paid
corporate retreat...
33
00:01:10,308 --> 00:01:11,614
[all cheer]
34
00:01:11,701 --> 00:01:13,703
Aka a free vacation.
35
00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:16,271
So that severance plan
is on hold.
36
00:01:16,358 --> 00:01:19,622
Aww, I think this is
Tonya's umbilical cord.
37
00:01:19,709 --> 00:01:21,754
- Are you sure you wanna go
on vacation without us?
38
00:01:21,841 --> 00:01:23,234
We're your whole world.
39
00:01:23,321 --> 00:01:25,106
- The retreat's in Philly,
right by the factory
40
00:01:25,193 --> 00:01:26,803
where they make
my chocolate turtles.
41
00:01:26,890 --> 00:01:29,153
Now while I'm gone, if you two
don't know what to make
42
00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:30,372
for dinner, tell Chris.
43
00:01:30,459 --> 00:01:31,938
If you stub your toe,
tell Chris.
44
00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:33,679
And if you can't find Chris,
tell Chris.
45
00:01:33,766 --> 00:01:35,768
- Rochelle, I can handle it.
46
00:01:35,855 --> 00:01:38,597
You won't have
to worry about a thing,
47
00:01:38,684 --> 00:01:42,253
except these items I want you
to borrow.
48
00:01:42,340 --> 00:01:46,605
- Hotel towels, hotel pillows,
a hotel robe?
49
00:01:46,692 --> 00:01:47,867
- What?
I wanna look like
50
00:01:47,954 --> 00:01:49,478
Michael Douglas
in "Wall Street."
51
00:01:49,565 --> 00:01:51,741
[rock music]
52
00:01:51,828 --> 00:01:55,875
- And that's why I think Picard
and Dr. Pulaski had an affair.
53
00:01:55,962 --> 00:01:57,268
[gentle music]
54
00:01:57,355 --> 00:01:58,835
- Whoa.
55
00:01:58,922 --> 00:02:00,271
[rhythmic music]
56
00:02:00,358 --> 00:02:03,013
[cheers and applause]
57
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:05,363
♪ ♪
58
00:02:05,450 --> 00:02:08,061
- I respect Chris now.
59
00:02:08,149 --> 00:02:11,021
- Ooh, Chris, you'd
be the perfect candidate
60
00:02:11,108 --> 00:02:14,242
to wicka-wicka-wicka DJ
the school dance.
61
00:02:14,329 --> 00:02:17,027
- Why? Because I'm Black?
- Because you're Black.
62
00:02:17,114 --> 00:02:19,551
- If you're gonna DJ,
can I be your hype boy?
63
00:02:19,638 --> 00:02:21,074
- It's hype man.
64
00:02:21,162 --> 00:02:22,685
- Whatever it's called,
I'm doing it.
65
00:02:22,772 --> 00:02:25,775
- It's called
cultural appropriation, bitch.
66
00:02:25,862 --> 00:02:27,603
- [murmuring]
67
00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:30,171
Hotel bath towel.
68
00:02:30,258 --> 00:02:31,607
Hotel toilet.
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00:02:31,694 --> 00:02:32,999
Mmm.
- Daddy?
70
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:34,262
- [groans]
71
00:02:34,349 --> 00:02:35,959
- My throat hurts.
72
00:02:36,046 --> 00:02:37,526
Can we go to the doctor?
73
00:02:37,613 --> 00:02:38,744
- The doctor?
74
00:02:38,831 --> 00:02:40,703
Doctors don't listen to people
like us.
75
00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:42,574
I was delivering a package
to the Bronx Zoo,
76
00:02:42,661 --> 00:02:44,272
and guess who signed for it?
77
00:02:44,359 --> 00:02:46,230
- Yep, that's serious.
[snake hisses]
78
00:02:46,317 --> 00:02:47,579
- [coughs]
- Look alive!
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00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:50,016
Code White! Code White!
80
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,931
[snake hisses]
81
00:02:52,018 --> 00:02:53,542
- But don't worry, I got you.
82
00:02:53,629 --> 00:02:55,239
- I can't lose my voice.
83
00:02:55,326 --> 00:02:57,285
Tryouts for the musical
are next week.
84
00:02:57,372 --> 00:02:58,982
Can we call Mama?
85
00:02:59,069 --> 00:03:00,636
- We don't need your mama.
86
00:03:00,723 --> 00:03:03,769
We got the holy trinity
of home remedies:
87
00:03:03,856 --> 00:03:05,336
steam...
88
00:03:05,423 --> 00:03:07,338
- [sniffs]
89
00:03:07,425 --> 00:03:08,905
[sneezes]
90
00:03:08,992 --> 00:03:10,776
- Vapor rub...
91
00:03:12,474 --> 00:03:14,650
- She looked shinier
than Lil Nas X.
92
00:03:14,737 --> 00:03:16,173
[fly buzzing]
93
00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:17,261
- Ew.
94
00:03:17,348 --> 00:03:19,568
- And some hot 'tussin.
95
00:03:19,655 --> 00:03:21,526
- Why're you mixing it
with water?
96
00:03:21,613 --> 00:03:23,659
- Mo' water, mo' tussin.
97
00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:24,790
- [gasps] Chris!
98
00:03:24,877 --> 00:03:26,444
[scratchily] Thank God.
99
00:03:26,531 --> 00:03:27,663
I'm sick.
100
00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,012
- Just pour some 'tussin on it.
101
00:03:29,099 --> 00:03:30,492
You'll be fine.
102
00:03:30,579 --> 00:03:32,755
Disco? Elevator polka?
103
00:03:32,842 --> 00:03:36,193
Eartha Kitt and Don Holt
debate cold war strategy?
104
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:37,934
Dad, what happened
to all your good vinyl?
105
00:03:38,021 --> 00:03:39,370
- I sold 'em
to fix the fridge.
106
00:03:39,457 --> 00:03:40,850
Would you rather
have rotten food?
107
00:03:40,937 --> 00:03:42,243
- Yes.
108
00:03:42,330 --> 00:03:43,853
[light percussive music]
109
00:03:43,940 --> 00:03:45,768
- Are you sure
I can't be your hype boy?
110
00:03:45,855 --> 00:03:47,204
- Why do I need a hype boy?
111
00:03:47,291 --> 00:03:49,380
- DJs are so popular
these days,
112
00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:51,295
they all get trampled
by their fans.
113
00:03:51,382 --> 00:03:54,255
- Sad news today
from "Da Club,"
114
00:03:54,342 --> 00:03:56,344
where a DJ has been trampled
115
00:03:56,431 --> 00:04:00,696
because his beats were,
reports say, too funkalicious.
116
00:04:00,783 --> 00:04:02,959
- I could protect you
through hype.
117
00:04:03,046 --> 00:04:05,048
- Do you even know
what "Hype" means?
118
00:04:05,135 --> 00:04:07,093
[rhythmic music]
119
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:10,140
- When I say, "Hey,"
you say, "Ho."
120
00:04:10,227 --> 00:04:11,750
Hey.
all: Ho.
121
00:04:11,837 --> 00:04:12,751
- Hey.
122
00:04:12,838 --> 00:04:14,449
all: Ho.
123
00:04:14,536 --> 00:04:16,538
♪ ♪
124
00:04:16,625 --> 00:04:18,801
- When I say, "Chris is on,"
you say, "Welfare."
125
00:04:18,888 --> 00:04:20,411
Chris is on--
all: Welfare.
126
00:04:20,498 --> 00:04:21,934
- Chris is on--
all: Welfare!
127
00:04:22,021 --> 00:04:24,807
- She's very good.
128
00:04:24,894 --> 00:04:26,417
- Nope.
129
00:04:26,504 --> 00:04:27,331
- Wait, where are you going?
130
00:04:27,418 --> 00:04:28,854
- It's not worth it.
131
00:04:28,941 --> 00:04:30,682
That's what I shoulda said
before I went
132
00:04:30,769 --> 00:04:32,902
and got stranded
at Burning Man.
133
00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:36,166
[thunder cracks]
134
00:04:37,602 --> 00:04:38,473
[umbrella rustles]
135
00:04:40,039 --> 00:04:41,563
- You got records?
136
00:04:41,650 --> 00:04:43,216
- I was so used
to being bullied,
137
00:04:43,304 --> 00:04:45,436
I assumed he wanted
to bully me too.
138
00:04:45,523 --> 00:04:48,221
If you want 'em,
you can have 'em.
139
00:04:49,266 --> 00:04:50,441
- What do you know
about DeeDee BigBalls
140
00:04:50,528 --> 00:04:52,400
and the Glitter Boys?
141
00:04:52,487 --> 00:04:54,402
I wanna hire you.
- What?
142
00:04:54,489 --> 00:04:56,926
- I need a DJ for a small party
I'm throwing.
143
00:04:57,013 --> 00:04:59,755
- Me, DJ an actual party?
[laughs]
144
00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:01,278
You clearly don't know
who I am.
145
00:05:01,365 --> 00:05:03,106
- Marcus pays cash money, honey.
146
00:05:03,193 --> 00:05:04,194
- Who's Marcus?
147
00:05:04,281 --> 00:05:06,849
- [sighs]
Keep up, kid. Me.
148
00:05:06,936 --> 00:05:08,459
So you'll do it?
149
00:05:08,546 --> 00:05:10,722
- Well, Chris does like cash.
150
00:05:10,809 --> 00:05:11,897
- Great.
151
00:05:11,984 --> 00:05:13,725
It's hard to find
a DJ these days.
152
00:05:13,812 --> 00:05:15,858
All the good ones get trampled.
153
00:05:15,945 --> 00:05:17,903
♪ ♪
154
00:05:17,990 --> 00:05:19,340
- Feeling better, sweet pea?
155
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,605
[phone rings]
156
00:05:23,692 --> 00:05:25,215
- Uh, hello?
157
00:05:25,302 --> 00:05:27,391
- Hi, baby.
- Hi, you.
158
00:05:27,478 --> 00:05:30,351
- That's my father's
I-done-effed-up voice.
159
00:05:30,438 --> 00:05:31,700
- So how are my babies?
160
00:05:31,787 --> 00:05:32,744
Do you need me to come home?
161
00:05:32,831 --> 00:05:33,441
- [squeaks]
162
00:05:37,532 --> 00:05:38,576
- [whispers] No, I'm not.
[fire alarm beeping]
163
00:05:38,663 --> 00:05:39,664
What the?
164
00:05:39,751 --> 00:05:41,623
- I just wanted soup.
- Ugh!
165
00:05:43,407 --> 00:05:45,714
All I need is hotel towels
and tiny shampoos.
166
00:05:45,801 --> 00:05:47,150
And a nightstand,
if it fits in your purse.
167
00:05:47,237 --> 00:05:48,499
Okay? Well, love you.
Bye.
168
00:05:50,632 --> 00:05:53,591
No daughter of mine's
gonna be a background tree.
169
00:05:54,766 --> 00:05:56,464
[siren wails]
170
00:05:56,551 --> 00:06:00,119
[people coughing]
171
00:06:00,206 --> 00:06:03,253
Hi, I think my daughter's
tonsils might need to be take--
172
00:06:03,340 --> 00:06:06,212
- Any bleedouts, heart attacks,
or tramplings during a DJ set?
173
00:06:06,299 --> 00:06:09,346
- No, but--
- Then take a number.
174
00:06:10,782 --> 00:06:12,131
A-18.
175
00:06:12,218 --> 00:06:13,350
- Thank God.
176
00:06:13,437 --> 00:06:14,786
I thought I was gonna--
177
00:06:14,873 --> 00:06:16,527
[coughs, grunts]
178
00:06:16,614 --> 00:06:18,007
- Uh.
179
00:06:20,183 --> 00:06:24,579
[soft chatter]
180
00:06:24,666 --> 00:06:26,363
- All right, kid.
Are you ready?
181
00:06:26,450 --> 00:06:28,844
You're up.
- Marcus?
182
00:06:28,931 --> 00:06:30,846
- Marcus doesn't exist here, honey.
183
00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:35,807
Only Titney Houston,
choreographer/singer/model.
184
00:06:35,894 --> 00:06:37,679
And, of course,
the legendary mother
185
00:06:37,766 --> 00:06:39,158
of the House of Houston.
186
00:06:39,245 --> 00:06:40,595
- Who's Titney?
187
00:06:40,682 --> 00:06:43,206
- Oh, girl, keep up.
Me!
188
00:06:43,293 --> 00:06:44,729
Now get this party going.
189
00:06:44,816 --> 00:06:47,123
And don't [bleep] it up,
or I'll trample you myself.
190
00:06:47,210 --> 00:06:50,692
[lively chatter]
191
00:06:50,779 --> 00:06:53,259
[together] Huh?
192
00:06:54,173 --> 00:06:55,740
- [exhales]
193
00:06:55,827 --> 00:06:58,003
[upbeat disco music]
194
00:06:58,090 --> 00:07:01,790
[all cheering]
195
00:07:01,877 --> 00:07:06,011
♪ ♪
196
00:07:06,098 --> 00:07:07,186
- Yes!
197
00:07:07,273 --> 00:07:09,145
I knew you would fit right in.
198
00:07:09,232 --> 00:07:10,886
- I always thought
heaven would be filled
199
00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:13,323
with big boobs,
heels, and hairspray.
200
00:07:13,410 --> 00:07:15,717
And it was.
201
00:07:20,069 --> 00:07:21,549
- Hi, sorry.
202
00:07:21,636 --> 00:07:23,028
These pancakes are burned.
203
00:07:23,115 --> 00:07:24,421
- Oh, you don't like 'em?
204
00:07:24,508 --> 00:07:26,902
- [gulps] All good.
205
00:07:26,989 --> 00:07:29,295
- You did the damn thing
tonight, Chris.
206
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:32,429
- You brought
the O-P-U-L-E-N-C-E,
207
00:07:32,516 --> 00:07:34,431
opulence, to that party, henny.
208
00:07:34,518 --> 00:07:35,780
You owned everyone.
209
00:07:35,867 --> 00:07:37,565
- Impressive
for a straight boy.
210
00:07:37,652 --> 00:07:38,783
- Thanks.
211
00:07:38,870 --> 00:07:39,654
- There's more
where this came from
212
00:07:39,741 --> 00:07:41,003
if you DJ for us tomorrow.
213
00:07:41,090 --> 00:07:43,353
It's Mother's first time
hosting a ball.
214
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:44,354
- Wouldn't miss it.
215
00:07:44,441 --> 00:07:45,486
Sounds way more fun
216
00:07:45,573 --> 00:07:47,270
than not DJing my school dance.
217
00:07:47,357 --> 00:07:48,619
- Oh, wow.
Look, girls.
218
00:07:48,706 --> 00:07:51,143
Jam Master Gay
found his people.
219
00:07:51,230 --> 00:07:52,754
[both snicker]
220
00:07:52,841 --> 00:07:55,147
[tense music]
221
00:07:55,234 --> 00:07:56,975
- And what's wrong with you?
You going through
222
00:07:57,062 --> 00:07:59,195
some psychological change
in your life?
223
00:07:59,282 --> 00:08:00,718
- Yeah,
with those tacky clothes,
224
00:08:00,805 --> 00:08:04,156
that ridiculous shape,
that baggy, saggy face.
225
00:08:04,243 --> 00:08:06,463
- She wears more makeup
than my mother does.
226
00:08:06,550 --> 00:08:10,249
[bright disco music]
227
00:08:10,336 --> 00:08:11,555
- You killed them!
228
00:08:11,642 --> 00:08:13,818
- What?
No, they just left.
229
00:08:13,905 --> 00:08:16,299
Do you know
that Molly Ringwald wannabe?
230
00:08:16,386 --> 00:08:18,257
- She's a bully at school.
231
00:08:18,344 --> 00:08:19,737
Uh, you destroyed her.
232
00:08:19,824 --> 00:08:21,870
- I've got two rules in life--
233
00:08:21,957 --> 00:08:24,307
don't back down from a bully
and never wear kitten heels.
234
00:08:24,394 --> 00:08:26,309
- Teach me how.
235
00:08:27,353 --> 00:08:28,529
- We can show you...
236
00:08:28,616 --> 00:08:30,139
- [exhales] Thank you so much.
237
00:08:30,226 --> 00:08:33,098
- If you DJ my party tomorrow
for free.
238
00:08:33,185 --> 00:08:35,187
I'm still paying off
this wig, girl.
239
00:08:35,274 --> 00:08:37,189
[gentle music]
240
00:08:37,276 --> 00:08:39,801
- [coughing]
241
00:08:42,586 --> 00:08:44,588
- Yeah.
It's cold, smelly.
242
00:08:44,675 --> 00:08:46,721
People keep asking me
for foot rubs.
243
00:08:48,984 --> 00:08:50,507
- They offering you money?
[door slams open]
244
00:08:50,594 --> 00:08:51,900
- I can't do another shift.
245
00:08:51,987 --> 00:08:53,684
I'm too tired,
there's too many patients,
246
00:08:53,771 --> 00:08:55,947
and it smells like old piss.
247
00:08:56,034 --> 00:08:56,948
- Do you want these?
248
00:08:57,035 --> 00:08:59,734
It'll keep you warm.
249
00:08:59,821 --> 00:09:01,823
Cool.
250
00:09:01,910 --> 00:09:04,956
- Excuse me,
but how much longer?
251
00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:07,437
Sir, I got
a sick daughter here.
252
00:09:07,524 --> 00:09:08,743
- In times like these,
253
00:09:08,830 --> 00:09:10,788
my father turned
to a higher power.
254
00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:13,748
- What would Rochelle do?
255
00:09:13,835 --> 00:09:14,575
[door chimes]
- Get on the floor.
256
00:09:14,662 --> 00:09:16,446
You, put the Dunks in the bag.
257
00:09:16,533 --> 00:09:18,753
- [clears throat]
If you let us keep some Dunks,
258
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:19,754
I'll give you
these breath mints.
259
00:09:19,841 --> 00:09:21,669
It makes a cool sound.
260
00:09:21,756 --> 00:09:23,148
- Damn it,
that's such a cool sound.
261
00:09:23,235 --> 00:09:24,280
Fine!
262
00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:25,934
- Bribery!
263
00:09:26,021 --> 00:09:29,024
How about you help
my daughter get a bed,
264
00:09:29,111 --> 00:09:33,115
and I help you get
free garlic bread?
265
00:09:33,202 --> 00:09:36,945
- No. B-22.
266
00:09:37,032 --> 00:09:40,601
- Okay, Chris, we're gonna
teach you how to read.
267
00:09:40,688 --> 00:09:42,124
- I know how to read.
268
00:09:42,211 --> 00:09:44,430
- Not read, read.
269
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:45,997
It means to lay into someone.
270
00:09:46,084 --> 00:09:47,999
And you know reading is what?
271
00:09:48,086 --> 00:09:49,305
Fundamental.
272
00:09:49,392 --> 00:09:51,612
- Reading is the art of insult, okay?
273
00:09:51,699 --> 00:09:55,398
You tell people who they are
by tapping into who you are.
274
00:09:55,485 --> 00:09:58,749
- And we laugh our asses off
because you found a flaw
275
00:09:58,836 --> 00:10:00,446
and exaggerated it.
276
00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:01,970
That's how we beat bullies.
277
00:10:02,057 --> 00:10:04,712
- The more real,
the more vicious.
278
00:10:04,799 --> 00:10:07,889
And when all else fails
just shout, "Look over there!"
279
00:10:07,976 --> 00:10:09,891
- You ready to tell 'em
like it is?
280
00:10:11,632 --> 00:10:13,895
First, you find a flaw.
281
00:10:13,982 --> 00:10:16,071
What do you notice
about this man?
282
00:10:16,158 --> 00:10:20,902
- Um, I guess his nose
is a little big.
283
00:10:20,989 --> 00:10:22,947
[whispers] Sorry.
- Really, Chris?
284
00:10:23,034 --> 00:10:25,733
That's what you're going for?
His nose? Ugh.
285
00:10:25,820 --> 00:10:28,736
Second,
you exaggerate the flaw.
286
00:10:28,823 --> 00:10:30,476
How would you tell
this man he is ugly?
287
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:32,435
- Uh, you're ugly?
288
00:10:32,522 --> 00:10:33,697
- [imitates buzzer]
Wrong!
289
00:10:33,784 --> 00:10:35,351
You've gotta add some color.
290
00:10:35,438 --> 00:10:38,267
- Like BMW--body made wrong.
291
00:10:38,354 --> 00:10:43,185
- Yeah, this isn't worth
the $5 you offered me to stay.
292
00:10:43,272 --> 00:10:46,231
- And last, you've gotta
deliver it with confidence.
293
00:10:46,318 --> 00:10:48,059
Read this stuck-up
skinny bitch.
294
00:10:48,146 --> 00:10:51,193
- Uh, your butt's so small,
you can't--
295
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,674
- Stop.
No, no-no-no, no, no.
296
00:10:53,761 --> 00:10:54,718
No.
- Stand up straight.
297
00:10:54,805 --> 00:10:56,589
- Hand on hip.
298
00:10:56,677 --> 00:10:58,679
- Perk your boobs up.
- Uh--uh.
299
00:10:58,766 --> 00:11:00,158
Your butt's so small,
you can't even--
300
00:11:00,245 --> 00:11:02,770
- Oh, I see what
the problem is.
301
00:11:02,857 --> 00:11:05,120
It's not your pose, it's you.
302
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:06,730
How the hell you gonna
look down on somebody
303
00:11:06,817 --> 00:11:08,514
if you can't look
inside yourself?
304
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:10,212
- You've gotta dig deep.
305
00:11:10,299 --> 00:11:12,823
It needs to feel like
it's gonna bust outta you.
306
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:15,565
- [straining] Your butt--
307
00:11:15,652 --> 00:11:17,262
- Okay, is he poopin'?
308
00:11:17,349 --> 00:11:20,918
- It's a lost cause.
- No!
309
00:11:21,005 --> 00:11:23,399
No straight boy left behind.
- Child, please.
310
00:11:23,486 --> 00:11:25,706
You just left a straight boy
behind this morning.
311
00:11:28,012 --> 00:11:31,146
- How much for a soup?
- 50¢.
312
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,364
But for you, Doc...
- Oh, I'm not--
313
00:11:32,451 --> 00:11:34,410
- It's free.
314
00:11:34,497 --> 00:11:36,020
- Yes, it is.
315
00:11:36,107 --> 00:11:38,327
- They'll wanna take
her tonsils out.
316
00:11:38,414 --> 00:11:40,416
- Who?
We haven't seen a doctor.
317
00:11:40,503 --> 00:11:42,505
It took forever just
to get this bed.
318
00:11:42,592 --> 00:11:44,899
- [sighs] I'll let
Congress know you're unhappy
319
00:11:44,986 --> 00:11:46,161
with the American
health-care system.
320
00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:49,904
- Ugh!
What would Rochelle do?
321
00:11:53,690 --> 00:11:55,387
- Psst. Nuh-uh.
322
00:11:55,474 --> 00:11:57,999
You think you're gonna skimp
on my child? Not today.
323
00:11:58,086 --> 00:12:00,349
She deserves a mess
of Tater Tots,
324
00:12:00,436 --> 00:12:03,744
so get to scoopin'!
325
00:12:03,831 --> 00:12:07,225
- I got to go off on him!
326
00:12:07,312 --> 00:12:09,967
Hey, your roof leaks
and your lights flicker.
327
00:12:10,054 --> 00:12:11,795
Half the windows
are stuck open.
328
00:12:11,882 --> 00:12:14,189
And you make us wait
a whole day to get a room,
329
00:12:14,276 --> 00:12:15,886
but you're not gonna
send a doctor in?
330
00:12:15,973 --> 00:12:17,627
- Sir, please stop going off
on me.
331
00:12:17,714 --> 00:12:20,064
- I thought I was just
telling you to get to healing.
332
00:12:20,151 --> 00:12:22,501
- I'm not about
to lose my job over you.
333
00:12:22,588 --> 00:12:24,112
- [growls]
334
00:12:25,113 --> 00:12:27,419
- I'm sorry.
I don't have it in me.
335
00:12:27,506 --> 00:12:29,204
- I get why you can't stand up
to bullies now.
336
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,945
- You can't even send back
burnt pancakes,
337
00:12:31,032 --> 00:12:32,947
ya burnt-pancake-eatin' bitch.
338
00:12:33,034 --> 00:12:35,079
- Okay, damn.
339
00:12:35,166 --> 00:12:37,081
- Your dopey ass ain't real.
340
00:12:37,168 --> 00:12:38,561
That's why
you'll never read people.
341
00:12:38,648 --> 00:12:41,651
I may be a Black drag queen in
a straight white man's world,
342
00:12:41,738 --> 00:12:43,218
but at least I walk proud.
343
00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:45,742
And now I'm walking out on you.
344
00:12:45,829 --> 00:12:47,918
- Great. You were my last hope.
345
00:12:48,005 --> 00:12:49,224
- Ain't no hope for you.
346
00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:51,182
We get why everybody
hates you, Chris.
347
00:12:51,269 --> 00:12:53,489
- Hey, I may not know who I am,
348
00:12:53,576 --> 00:12:55,317
but at least I don't base
my self-worth
349
00:12:55,404 --> 00:12:57,754
on two lopsided boobies
and a horse wig.
350
00:12:57,841 --> 00:13:00,539
[all gasp]
And I'd take my chances as a DJ
351
00:13:00,626 --> 00:13:03,934
over your chances as
a "choreographer"/singer/model
352
00:13:04,021 --> 00:13:05,327
any day...
353
00:13:05,414 --> 00:13:06,023
bitch.
354
00:13:07,546 --> 00:13:08,896
all: Damn!
355
00:13:08,983 --> 00:13:11,202
- Mm! Finally!
356
00:13:11,289 --> 00:13:13,291
Girl, you read me for filth.
357
00:13:13,378 --> 00:13:15,859
- You ripped me a new one
on purpose?
358
00:13:15,946 --> 00:13:17,992
- Every queen needs a push.
359
00:13:18,079 --> 00:13:20,037
Except for me.
Never touch me.
360
00:13:20,124 --> 00:13:22,648
[gentle whimsical music]
361
00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:26,217
♪ ♪
362
00:13:26,304 --> 00:13:27,566
- Wow!
363
00:13:27,653 --> 00:13:30,743
[squelching]
364
00:13:30,831 --> 00:13:37,968
♪ ♪
365
00:13:40,710 --> 00:13:42,320
[phone rings]
366
00:13:42,407 --> 00:13:43,539
Bonjour.
367
00:13:43,626 --> 00:13:46,759
- Rochelle,
I've got a confession.
368
00:13:46,847 --> 00:13:47,717
- Is she white?
369
00:13:47,804 --> 00:13:49,153
- No. What?
370
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,763
No.
[sighs]
371
00:13:50,851 --> 00:13:52,504
Tonya's sick.
- What?
372
00:13:52,591 --> 00:13:54,942
- She's fine,
but her tonsils are inflamed,
373
00:13:55,029 --> 00:13:56,160
so we're at the hospital.
374
00:13:56,247 --> 00:13:57,553
- Hospital?
What'd the doctor say?
375
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:58,902
- I can't get one to come in.
376
00:13:58,989 --> 00:14:00,208
I tried bribery.
377
00:14:00,295 --> 00:14:02,079
Uh, I went off on the nurse.
378
00:14:02,166 --> 00:14:03,298
- Why the hell
would you do that?
379
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:04,690
- I was trying
to be like you.
380
00:14:04,777 --> 00:14:06,431
- But I'm charming
and beautiful.
381
00:14:06,518 --> 00:14:08,303
You gotta work
with what you got.
382
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,087
- I offered him
free garlic bread.
383
00:14:10,174 --> 00:14:12,133
[line clicks]
Hello?
384
00:14:14,918 --> 00:14:16,877
- My mom was willing
to get home
385
00:14:16,964 --> 00:14:19,053
by any means necessary.
386
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:20,445
- But I'll give you everything.
387
00:14:20,532 --> 00:14:24,623
Tiny shampoos, tiny liquors,
an iron, a wall sconce.
388
00:14:24,710 --> 00:14:28,192
- Like I said, there are
no more buses until tomorrow.
389
00:14:28,279 --> 00:14:30,455
And I don't like your tone.
- [growls]
390
00:14:30,542 --> 00:14:32,805
- You know, my friends
rented a limo.
391
00:14:32,893 --> 00:14:36,809
We're headed in your direction,
and we all love tiny liquors.
392
00:14:36,897 --> 00:14:39,812
[all cheering]
393
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,858
- So which one of youse
is getting hitched?
394
00:14:41,945 --> 00:14:44,034
- None of us.
We're all gettin' divorced.
395
00:14:44,121 --> 00:14:46,297
[together] Whoo!
What about you?
396
00:14:46,384 --> 00:14:47,603
- Oh, I'm happily married.
397
00:14:47,690 --> 00:14:50,432
[tires squealing]
398
00:14:50,519 --> 00:14:54,827
- Then she bath-robed her way
into an all-female biker gang.
399
00:14:54,915 --> 00:14:58,657
[engines revving]
400
00:14:58,744 --> 00:15:01,312
- Rochelle,
you gonna help us fight?
401
00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:02,531
- Oh, hell no.
402
00:15:02,618 --> 00:15:03,836
But you can take my iron.
403
00:15:03,924 --> 00:15:05,621
- Thanks.
404
00:15:05,708 --> 00:15:07,753
[growls]
405
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,233
[all yelling]
406
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,148
[blows landing]
407
00:15:11,975 --> 00:15:12,976
- I don't get it.
408
00:15:13,063 --> 00:15:14,282
You spent
all that time with them,
409
00:15:14,369 --> 00:15:16,110
and you didn't find out?
410
00:15:16,197 --> 00:15:18,634
- Greg, I wasn't gonna ask them
where they tuck it, okay?
411
00:15:18,721 --> 00:15:20,201
- Chris is on--
all: Welfare!
412
00:15:20,288 --> 00:15:21,985
- Chris is on--
all: Welfare.
413
00:15:22,072 --> 00:15:23,595
- And just like that,
414
00:15:23,682 --> 00:15:27,730
my inner queen was ready
to face my bullies.
415
00:15:27,817 --> 00:15:30,428
Your parents are so poor,
you're the only white family
416
00:15:30,515 --> 00:15:32,953
that moves in
and home values plummet.
417
00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:34,955
And you, you got
so many freckles,
418
00:15:35,042 --> 00:15:37,261
if I played connect the dots,
you'd be in blackface.
419
00:15:37,348 --> 00:15:38,871
- Don't do me!
420
00:15:38,959 --> 00:15:40,699
- That's right.
You better run.
421
00:15:40,786 --> 00:15:43,180
- You just bullied the bullies!
422
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:45,226
Why does that
make me so aroused?
423
00:15:46,401 --> 00:15:47,880
[dramatic music]
424
00:15:47,968 --> 00:15:49,186
[bell dings]
425
00:15:49,273 --> 00:15:51,580
- It's time
to turn the turntables.
426
00:15:51,667 --> 00:15:53,364
- Well, what about
your friends' party?
427
00:15:53,451 --> 00:15:54,800
- You wanna be
my hype boy or not?
428
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:57,716
- [giggles]
Raise your hands in the air
429
00:15:57,803 --> 00:15:59,805
like you just don't care!
430
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:01,503
[upbeat music]
431
00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:03,287
- Whoa, the lights are fixed.
432
00:16:03,374 --> 00:16:04,506
The sink isn't leaking.
433
00:16:04,593 --> 00:16:06,421
Who did this?
434
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,727
- I did.
435
00:16:08,814 --> 00:16:10,033
I'm too cheap to bribe
436
00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:11,817
and I'm not charming enough
to go off,
437
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,558
but I do know how
to fix things.
438
00:16:13,645 --> 00:16:16,648
Now I need you
to fix my daughter.
439
00:16:16,735 --> 00:16:19,173
- It's not a job,
it's a callin'.
440
00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:21,305
And I answered the call.
- [laughs]
441
00:16:21,392 --> 00:16:23,786
- A woman just came in, and
she's 9 centimeters dilated.
442
00:16:23,873 --> 00:16:25,657
Follow me.
- Oh, snap.
443
00:16:25,744 --> 00:16:26,832
Look, I'm not a doctor.
I just--
444
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:28,182
- Doctor, it's triplets.
445
00:16:28,269 --> 00:16:29,226
Hurry!
446
00:16:29,313 --> 00:16:31,794
- [panting]
447
00:16:31,881 --> 00:16:34,753
[fast-paced jazz music]
448
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:41,586
♪ ♪
449
00:16:44,807 --> 00:16:45,982
[bell rings]
450
00:16:50,030 --> 00:16:52,206
[upbeat hip-hop music]
451
00:16:52,293 --> 00:16:53,337
- Hey.
452
00:16:53,424 --> 00:16:54,382
all: Ho.
453
00:16:54,469 --> 00:16:56,384
- Hey.
all: Ho.
454
00:16:57,994 --> 00:16:59,778
- I got it from here.
455
00:16:59,865 --> 00:17:01,345
- You wanna DJ?
456
00:17:01,432 --> 00:17:03,304
Go spin your head
in the toilet.
457
00:17:03,391 --> 00:17:04,653
- No.
458
00:17:04,740 --> 00:17:06,481
[record scratch]
459
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:08,831
- What did you say?
- Nothing.
460
00:17:08,918 --> 00:17:11,964
Just it's a good thing
your hair is fiery red
461
00:17:12,052 --> 00:17:14,489
so dudes know how
to stop, drop, and roll away
462
00:17:14,576 --> 00:17:15,490
when they see you.
463
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,318
all: Ooh!
464
00:17:17,405 --> 00:17:18,971
- If this is what
Orphan Annie looked like,
465
00:17:19,059 --> 00:17:20,451
I get why her parents left.
466
00:17:20,538 --> 00:17:21,844
[laughter]
- Oh, no, he didn't.
467
00:17:21,931 --> 00:17:23,672
- [chuckles] Wait.
I ain't done yet.
468
00:17:23,759 --> 00:17:26,979
Ha! You look like Chucky's
less successful sibling,
469
00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:28,024
Schmucky.
470
00:17:28,111 --> 00:17:29,460
- Oh, yes, he did!
471
00:17:29,547 --> 00:17:32,768
[audience jeering, laughing]
472
00:17:32,855 --> 00:17:34,683
- [sobs]
473
00:17:34,770 --> 00:17:36,859
[upbeat music]
474
00:17:36,946 --> 00:17:39,383
- When I say, "Katy's"
you say, "Trash."
475
00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:40,732
Katy's--
all: Trash!
476
00:17:40,819 --> 00:17:42,386
- Katy's--
all: Trash!
477
00:17:42,473 --> 00:17:46,303
[cheering]
478
00:17:46,390 --> 00:17:47,391
- [grunts]
479
00:17:47,478 --> 00:17:49,480
[siren wails distantly]
480
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:51,700
- Oh, I knew I shouldn't
have gone on that trip.
481
00:17:51,787 --> 00:17:53,005
Where's the doctor?
482
00:17:53,093 --> 00:17:55,225
- Prepping
for Tonya's tonsillectomy.
483
00:17:55,312 --> 00:17:56,444
She'll be okay.
484
00:17:56,531 --> 00:17:57,575
- There's a man bleeding out
485
00:17:57,662 --> 00:17:59,186
from a gunshot wound,
486
00:17:59,273 --> 00:18:01,927
but the nurses insisted
I help Tonya first.
487
00:18:02,014 --> 00:18:03,755
- How'd you get them
to do that?
488
00:18:03,842 --> 00:18:05,627
- I worked with what I got--
489
00:18:05,714 --> 00:18:06,758
work.
490
00:18:06,845 --> 00:18:08,934
[cheering]
491
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,502
- I was lovin'
my new bully-proof life,
492
00:18:11,589 --> 00:18:13,722
and the crowd was lovin' me.
493
00:18:13,809 --> 00:18:15,941
Damn, they're
really feelin' this.
494
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,029
Hey! Hey! Yeah!
495
00:18:17,117 --> 00:18:20,032
[cheering]
496
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:22,034
- Chris, uh--
- What?
497
00:18:22,122 --> 00:18:24,776
- They're getting too into it.
They're gonna trample us.
498
00:18:24,863 --> 00:18:28,389
- What?
- You're on your own!
499
00:18:28,476 --> 00:18:30,217
- Wave your hands in the air.
500
00:18:30,304 --> 00:18:31,740
Please go back over there.
501
00:18:31,827 --> 00:18:33,611
Aah!
502
00:18:33,698 --> 00:18:36,223
[cheering]
503
00:18:36,310 --> 00:18:39,748
[squelching]
504
00:18:39,835 --> 00:18:41,750
- This is for my sister.
505
00:18:41,837 --> 00:18:42,838
- Your sister?
506
00:18:42,925 --> 00:18:44,840
- Katy. Keep up.
507
00:18:44,927 --> 00:18:46,015
[squelches]
508
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:50,541
- I'm sorry I didn't tell you
sooner that Tonya was sick.
509
00:18:50,628 --> 00:18:52,282
I'm just never on Dad duty.
510
00:18:52,369 --> 00:18:54,545
I didn't wanna mess up
your trip the one time I was.
511
00:18:54,632 --> 00:18:56,112
- It's okay, baby.
512
00:18:56,199 --> 00:18:58,680
I should've known you'd
have it all under control.
513
00:18:58,767 --> 00:19:00,421
- I didn't have it
under control at first.
514
00:19:00,508 --> 00:19:01,857
You make it look so easy.
515
00:19:01,944 --> 00:19:03,293
- It's okay.
516
00:19:03,380 --> 00:19:05,208
One time I left baby Chris
in the store
517
00:19:05,295 --> 00:19:06,905
and brought home
a sweet potato.
518
00:19:06,992 --> 00:19:08,603
Changed his diaper
and everything.
519
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:10,300
It's just being a parent.
520
00:19:10,387 --> 00:19:11,867
And you're a great dad.
521
00:19:11,954 --> 00:19:14,086
- Thank you, baby.
522
00:19:14,174 --> 00:19:15,653
- So how's Chris?
523
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:17,481
- [groans weakly]
- I'm sure he's fine.
524
00:19:18,308 --> 00:19:19,483
- [groans]
525
00:19:20,876 --> 00:19:22,747
- My baby's okay!
526
00:19:25,794 --> 00:19:27,535
- Oh, baby, no.
527
00:19:27,622 --> 00:19:29,450
Chris isn't here.
528
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:34,368
- Ooh, those drugs
are too strong.
529
00:19:37,719 --> 00:19:38,894
- Marcus?
530
00:19:38,981 --> 00:19:40,504
How'd you know I was here?
531
00:19:40,591 --> 00:19:42,419
- I didn't. I work here.
532
00:19:42,506 --> 00:19:45,030
If I knew you were here,
your Jell-O would be poisoned.
533
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:46,902
- I'm sorry
I missed your party.
534
00:19:46,989 --> 00:19:49,861
- [scoffs] It was my first time
hosting a ball, and you bailed.
535
00:19:49,948 --> 00:19:52,037
Do you know what happens
when gays don't dance?
536
00:19:52,124 --> 00:19:53,213
[glass shattering]
537
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:54,953
[people screaming]
538
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,346
- Lights off, bitches!
539
00:19:56,433 --> 00:19:58,957
[power whirring]
540
00:19:59,044 --> 00:20:01,612
- I just thought I finally
found a way to stop my bullies.
541
00:20:01,699 --> 00:20:03,788
I read Katy to tears.
542
00:20:03,875 --> 00:20:06,269
- Tears?
That's too far.
543
00:20:06,356 --> 00:20:09,185
Once you read her like a book,
you close the book, Mary.
544
00:20:09,272 --> 00:20:10,621
If you go past that,
545
00:20:10,708 --> 00:20:12,406
it makes you no better
than a bully yourself.
546
00:20:12,493 --> 00:20:14,190
- I promise not
to miss the next party.
547
00:20:14,277 --> 00:20:17,062
- There won't be
a next party for you.
548
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:18,803
But I will get you a doctor.
549
00:20:18,890 --> 00:20:20,936
- I'm actually doin' okay now.
550
00:20:21,023 --> 00:20:21,980
Ow!
551
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:23,243
- Doctor!
552
00:20:24,113 --> 00:20:25,419
- Drew?
553
00:20:25,506 --> 00:20:26,333
- Just act like
I'm helping you.
554
00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:27,943
- Helpin' me?
[screams]
555
00:20:28,030 --> 00:20:32,556
- ♪ Everybody
still hates Chris ♪
556
00:20:32,643 --> 00:20:34,079
[vocalizing]
557
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,386
[soft dramatic music]
558
00:20:36,473 --> 00:20:37,648
- Nah.
559
00:20:37,735 --> 00:20:39,346
Can everyone gather
around, please?
560
00:20:39,433 --> 00:20:41,870
This'll just take a second.
561
00:20:41,957 --> 00:20:44,873
Listen, I'm a 16-year-old boy.
562
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,744
- Oh, my God.
563
00:20:46,831 --> 00:20:49,965
You finished medical school
by age 16?
564
00:20:50,052 --> 00:20:51,967
- It's incredible
you balance this job
565
00:20:52,054 --> 00:20:54,361
with all the trials and
tribulations of being a teen.
566
00:20:54,448 --> 00:20:57,146
- No!
567
00:20:57,233 --> 00:21:00,976
- And I wanna call the show
"Doogie Howser, M.D."
568
00:21:01,063 --> 00:21:03,108
[murmuring]
569
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,545
We can make him white.
570
00:21:04,632 --> 00:21:07,243
- Oh, yes.
- Oh!
571
00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:39,837
- ♪ MTV ♪
572
00:21:39,837 --> 00:21:44,837
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573
00:21:39,837 --> 00:21:49,837
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