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DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV
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[scary music]
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00:00:07,811 --> 00:00:10,553
- Halloween on my block
was dope.
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00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,990
It was the only
time you could wear a mask
5
00:00:13,077 --> 00:00:15,166
without white people thinking
you were gonna rob 'em.
6
00:00:15,253 --> 00:00:17,603
And people went all out.
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00:00:17,690 --> 00:00:19,562
The dude in the Reagan mask
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00:00:19,649 --> 00:00:22,826
won the scariest-costume
contest three years in a row.
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00:00:22,913 --> 00:00:25,133
- No!
10
00:00:25,220 --> 00:00:28,092
- Even businesses
went hard for Halloween.
11
00:00:28,179 --> 00:00:30,355
- $1, $1 will get you one
small pumpkin.
12
00:00:30,442 --> 00:00:32,401
$5, $5, that'll get you
5 pumpkins.
13
00:00:32,488 --> 00:00:34,359
Now, that's math.
14
00:00:34,446 --> 00:00:37,319
- But every Halloween, I got
stuck doing Halloween chores.
15
00:00:37,406 --> 00:00:38,711
[knock at door]
16
00:00:38,798 --> 00:00:40,496
By the way,
those are real cobwebs
17
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:42,150
we took off my dad's wallet.
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00:00:42,237 --> 00:00:44,108
[suspenseful musical flourish]
19
00:00:44,195 --> 00:00:45,718
- Hey, Mr. Omar.
20
00:00:45,805 --> 00:00:47,459
Is that what you look like
without makeup?
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00:00:47,546 --> 00:00:48,895
- I don't wear makeup.
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00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:50,810
Maybe a little corpse blush.
23
00:00:50,897 --> 00:00:52,464
But don't tell Widow Jarvis--
24
00:00:52,551 --> 00:00:53,857
I mean, Jackson.
25
00:00:53,944 --> 00:00:55,989
[chuckles]]
Baby, why don't
26
00:00:56,077 --> 00:01:00,690
you go upstairs and dry your
pretty eyes on my silk sheets?
27
00:01:00,777 --> 00:01:02,213
- Well, Happy Halloween,
I guess.
28
00:01:02,300 --> 00:01:04,041
- Wait!
29
00:01:04,128 --> 00:01:06,304
I made you guys some of my
world-famous pumpkin soup.
30
00:01:06,391 --> 00:01:10,178
- [sniffs] What is that?
$13.63 worth of soup?
31
00:01:10,265 --> 00:01:11,657
Get in here!
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00:01:11,744 --> 00:01:14,921
- I just love Halloween--
the costumes,
33
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:18,142
the sweets,
the worshipping of dead bodies.
34
00:01:18,229 --> 00:01:20,275
How are you celebrating?
- We're not.
35
00:01:20,362 --> 00:01:22,277
My boss is throwing
a Halloween party
36
00:01:22,364 --> 00:01:24,017
and expects everyone
to be there.
37
00:01:24,105 --> 00:01:27,978
- And what are you kids doing
on this All Hallows' Eve?
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00:01:28,065 --> 00:01:29,719
- Being forced into eating
candy to look for glass,
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00:01:29,806 --> 00:01:31,634
razors, or needles.
40
00:01:31,721 --> 00:01:34,115
I'm basically a crash test
dummy for my lovely siblings.
41
00:01:34,202 --> 00:01:35,725
- I'm just chilling
this year, too.
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00:01:35,812 --> 00:01:37,335
So many girls want to
hang out with me.
43
00:01:37,422 --> 00:01:38,771
I don't know who to pick.
44
00:01:38,858 --> 00:01:41,296
- Player to player,
I understand.
45
00:01:41,383 --> 00:01:43,167
Who's gonna take
Miss Tonya trick-or-treating?
46
00:01:43,254 --> 00:01:44,908
- I'm almost a grown woman.
47
00:01:44,995 --> 00:01:46,910
What I look like begging
people for candy?
48
00:01:46,997 --> 00:01:48,912
- Too old for
trick-or-treating?
49
00:01:48,999 --> 00:01:51,393
Y'all lost
your Halloween spirit.
50
00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,134
Tragic. Tragic.
51
00:01:53,221 --> 00:01:55,005
- Hey, wait a sec.
[door opens, closes]
52
00:01:55,092 --> 00:01:57,747
You guys are going out, and
Drew and Tonya are staying in?
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00:01:57,834 --> 00:01:59,662
Does this mean I get
to do my own thing?
54
00:01:59,749 --> 00:02:01,881
- Well, as long as you don't
bring home no ghost babies,
55
00:02:01,968 --> 00:02:04,710
no zombie babies, no baby
babies, no Franken-babies.
56
00:02:04,797 --> 00:02:06,451
- This is gonna be
the best night of my life.
57
00:02:06,538 --> 00:02:07,887
[coughs]
58
00:02:07,974 --> 00:02:10,238
[groans]
Starting now.
59
00:02:10,325 --> 00:02:13,545
[upbeat hip-hop music]
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00:02:13,632 --> 00:02:15,504
- Aw, man!
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00:02:15,591 --> 00:02:16,896
This is not fair.
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00:02:16,983 --> 00:02:18,376
Why do you get to
be Batman,
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00:02:18,463 --> 00:02:19,856
and I have to be
the Boy Wonder?
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00:02:19,943 --> 00:02:21,988
- It's called
reparations, baby!
65
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:25,122
I can't believe I get to do
my own thing this year.
66
00:02:25,209 --> 00:02:26,297
Should I go to
the Deadly DJ Jam?
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00:02:26,384 --> 00:02:27,646
- Eh.
68
00:02:27,733 --> 00:02:29,344
- What about Nessa's
scary hair show?
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00:02:29,431 --> 00:02:31,389
There's gonna be
more women than men.
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00:02:31,476 --> 00:02:32,956
- Come with me
to my uncle's party.
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00:02:33,043 --> 00:02:34,827
Last year, a couple
of his coworkers
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00:02:34,914 --> 00:02:36,786
wore super-hot costumes.
73
00:02:36,873 --> 00:02:39,441
Who knew ET had
so much junk in the trunk?
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00:02:39,528 --> 00:02:41,051
[door opens]
- They better not be
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00:02:41,138 --> 00:02:43,793
out of size-zero Sheila E.
costumes up in here,
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00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,099
or somebody gon' get hurt.
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00:02:46,187 --> 00:02:47,275
- Oh, Tasha's coming this way.
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00:02:47,362 --> 00:02:49,146
Get out of here.
- Oh!
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00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:50,669
- Hey, Chris.
- Oh.
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00:02:50,756 --> 00:02:51,757
Hey, Tasha.
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00:02:51,844 --> 00:02:52,976
- Cool Batman outfit.
82
00:02:53,063 --> 00:02:54,369
I was hoping to run into you.
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00:02:54,456 --> 00:02:55,674
- Oh, yeah.
84
00:02:55,761 --> 00:02:57,459
[grunts]
85
00:02:57,546 --> 00:02:58,590
- I'd love it if you'd be
my special guest tonight.
86
00:02:58,677 --> 00:03:01,158
- Hallow-clean,
an all-night church lock-in.
87
00:03:01,245 --> 00:03:02,420
- It'll be fun.
88
00:03:02,507 --> 00:03:04,292
Pray on it.
89
00:03:04,379 --> 00:03:06,381
- Chris, you're so in there.
90
00:03:06,468 --> 00:03:07,904
- [sighs] No, I'm not.
91
00:03:07,991 --> 00:03:09,949
She just invited me to church.
92
00:03:10,036 --> 00:03:11,560
- She asked you to spend
the night with her.
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00:03:11,647 --> 00:03:13,301
- Yeah, at church.
94
00:03:13,388 --> 00:03:15,433
- She just wants a church man.
95
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,305
So go to church with her...
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00:03:17,392 --> 00:03:18,828
man!
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00:03:18,915 --> 00:03:20,612
- All the other events
I was considering
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00:03:20,699 --> 00:03:22,266
would have girls at them.
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00:03:22,353 --> 00:03:23,659
But if I went to church,
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00:03:23,746 --> 00:03:25,530
it wouldn't be
with just any girl.
101
00:03:25,617 --> 00:03:27,315
It would be with "the" girl.
102
00:03:27,402 --> 00:03:28,707
- Hi.
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00:03:28,794 --> 00:03:30,448
Is that the last
Sheila E. size zero?
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00:03:30,535 --> 00:03:31,667
- Mm.
105
00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:33,451
- Tasha,
block that woman for Mommy!
106
00:03:33,538 --> 00:03:35,192
- [sighs]
107
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,545
- [yawns]
108
00:03:40,632 --> 00:03:42,547
[touch-tones beeping,
line trills]
109
00:03:42,634 --> 00:03:43,809
Hello, ma'am.
110
00:03:43,896 --> 00:03:46,029
May I speak to Vanessa, please?
111
00:03:46,116 --> 00:03:47,683
- Girl, you bored
at work again?
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00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:49,598
You're using
your white-lady voice.
113
00:03:49,685 --> 00:03:51,164
- Nessa, help me.
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00:03:51,252 --> 00:03:53,166
These people are phony freaks.
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00:03:53,254 --> 00:03:55,125
Hey, how's your day going?
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00:03:55,212 --> 00:03:56,779
- Does it feel a tad warm?
117
00:03:56,866 --> 00:03:59,347
I'm worried Todd's
birthday cake will melt.
118
00:03:59,434 --> 00:04:01,740
- You go change
that thermostat, Martha.
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00:04:01,827 --> 00:04:04,352
- Oh, great idea.
I'm on it.
120
00:04:04,439 --> 00:04:06,092
- [groans] God.
121
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:07,703
- They've been shoving
cake in your face
122
00:04:07,790 --> 00:04:09,835
for every occasion, huh?
123
00:04:09,922 --> 00:04:11,881
- [groans] Birthdays,
anniversaries, power outages.
124
00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:13,752
- White people
love cake, child.
125
00:04:13,839 --> 00:04:15,450
It's their collard greens.
126
00:04:15,537 --> 00:04:16,538
- Ah, damn it!
127
00:04:16,625 --> 00:04:18,627
I missed
Risky's Trunkin' Patch.
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00:04:18,714 --> 00:04:21,456
- Girl, he had a pumpkin that
looked exactly like Lou Rawls,
129
00:04:21,543 --> 00:04:22,718
forehead and all.
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00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:24,372
We took Polaroids with it.
131
00:04:24,459 --> 00:04:26,809
- I take my kids
to Risky's every year.
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00:04:26,896 --> 00:04:28,201
It's tradition.
133
00:04:28,289 --> 00:04:30,116
Ain't nobody getting
in the way of me
134
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,205
spending time with my family.
135
00:04:32,293 --> 00:04:34,773
I don't need this!
My man has two jobs!
136
00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:36,645
- Ooh, yes!
137
00:04:36,732 --> 00:04:39,125
Whoo-hoo!
Tim finally laid me off!
138
00:04:39,212 --> 00:04:41,258
I'm free!
139
00:04:41,345 --> 00:04:42,999
Suck it, Corporate America.
140
00:04:43,086 --> 00:04:44,043
- Poor Chuck.
141
00:04:44,130 --> 00:04:46,045
- You mean rich Chuck.
142
00:04:46,132 --> 00:04:49,310
The company gives out big, fat
severance packages for anyone
143
00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:50,659
lucky enough to be laid off.
144
00:04:50,746 --> 00:04:52,008
- Big, fat what now?
145
00:04:52,095 --> 00:04:55,185
- What?
They pay you not to work?
146
00:04:55,272 --> 00:04:59,363
- If anyone at my job gets laid
off for a non-fireable offense,
147
00:04:59,450 --> 00:05:02,148
they get a lump sum
of money plus benefits.
148
00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:04,586
- But how?
- You can't do nothing crazy.
149
00:05:04,673 --> 00:05:06,762
You just have to be
so annoying,
150
00:05:06,849 --> 00:05:07,980
they ask you to leave.
151
00:05:08,067 --> 00:05:09,547
It worked for Chuck.
152
00:05:09,634 --> 00:05:11,506
That man ate tuna for lunch
every day for months.
153
00:05:11,593 --> 00:05:13,246
His tuna funk lives in infamy.
154
00:05:13,334 --> 00:05:14,857
- Are you sure
severance isn't just
155
00:05:14,944 --> 00:05:16,467
an urban legend,
156
00:05:16,554 --> 00:05:18,687
like Bigfoot or Black people
living in Switzerland?
157
00:05:18,774 --> 00:05:20,166
- Baby, it's real.
158
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:21,907
I've seen it
with my own two eyes.
159
00:05:21,994 --> 00:05:24,693
So will you make me
the happiest woman in the world
160
00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:26,608
and spend the rest of our
Halloween annoying the hell
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00:05:26,695 --> 00:05:28,958
out of my boss?
- Yes. Yes.
162
00:05:29,045 --> 00:05:32,527
A million times, yes.
163
00:05:32,614 --> 00:05:35,225
- In the '80s,
behind-the-scenes footage
164
00:05:35,312 --> 00:05:37,619
took all the fear
out of scary movies.
165
00:05:37,706 --> 00:05:41,449
- You know, eating soup just
fuels the creative process.
166
00:05:41,536 --> 00:05:44,887
- Of course, Drew and Tonya
lost their Halloween spirit.
167
00:05:44,974 --> 00:05:46,889
[knock at door,
both sigh]
168
00:05:48,586 --> 00:05:49,979
- Trick or--
- Trick or treat, yeah, yeah.
169
00:05:50,066 --> 00:05:51,894
We get it.
Here you go.
170
00:05:51,981 --> 00:05:54,113
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Little vultures!
171
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,333
- I want that one.
- [groans]
172
00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:57,900
At this rate, we'll have
no candy left for us.
173
00:05:57,987 --> 00:05:59,989
- Wait.
174
00:06:00,076 --> 00:06:01,338
Let's turn off all the lights
and pretend we're not here.
175
00:06:01,425 --> 00:06:03,384
- Why would we do that?
176
00:06:03,471 --> 00:06:05,951
- So no one knocks on our
door and takes our candy.
177
00:06:06,038 --> 00:06:08,084
What are they teaching you
in that white school?
178
00:06:08,171 --> 00:06:12,001
- Oh...
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00:06:12,088 --> 00:06:15,091
We're not here!
180
00:06:15,178 --> 00:06:17,615
- I was about to spend
the night with Tasha,
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00:06:17,702 --> 00:06:20,009
and I had the perfect costume.
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00:06:20,096 --> 00:06:22,011
Damn, Bible fashion
for boys is very limited.
183
00:06:22,098 --> 00:06:24,535
It was either Moses
or the Burning Bush.
184
00:06:24,622 --> 00:06:26,319
- Ooh-whee!
185
00:06:26,407 --> 00:06:29,018
I'm flaming
for the Lord, y'all!
186
00:06:29,105 --> 00:06:32,021
- Nice costume, Chris.
I love your broom-handle staff.
187
00:06:32,108 --> 00:06:36,765
- Sons and daughters, may
I have your attention, please?
188
00:06:36,852 --> 00:06:39,855
My only begotten son Pharaoh
and I would like to welcome you
189
00:06:39,942 --> 00:06:41,944
to our annual Hallow-clean,
190
00:06:42,031 --> 00:06:44,468
the event that puts God
where He belongs--
191
00:06:44,555 --> 00:06:47,384
[laughs]
On a shiny pedestal--
192
00:06:47,471 --> 00:06:51,780
[laughs] And puts the devil
where he belongs.
193
00:06:51,867 --> 00:06:52,781
And where is that?
194
00:06:52,868 --> 00:06:54,043
[together]
In hell!
195
00:06:54,130 --> 00:06:56,306
- That's right.
196
00:06:56,393 --> 00:06:58,395
Now, I got to go out here and
throw blessed oil on any kid
197
00:06:58,482 --> 00:07:00,092
dressed like a vampire,
198
00:07:00,179 --> 00:07:02,573
so my head of youth ministry
will take it from here.
199
00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:03,661
Sister Johnson, if you would.
200
00:07:03,748 --> 00:07:05,620
So happy to have you.
God bless ya.
201
00:07:05,707 --> 00:07:08,840
- Hmm, thank you, Pastor Percy.
202
00:07:08,927 --> 00:07:11,321
Follow me, little ones.
203
00:07:13,236 --> 00:07:15,151
- Moses coming through.
Let's part this sea of butts.
204
00:07:15,238 --> 00:07:16,979
- Hey!
205
00:07:17,066 --> 00:07:18,371
- For some reason,
they put an old lady
206
00:07:18,459 --> 00:07:20,243
with cataracts in charge.
207
00:07:20,330 --> 00:07:23,376
That was like
the blind leading the fine.
208
00:07:23,464 --> 00:07:26,423
- Now, let's listen
to some Jesus jams
209
00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:29,644
on my favorite AM gospel radio
210
00:07:29,731 --> 00:07:32,516
as I lock us in.
[chuckles]
211
00:07:32,603 --> 00:07:34,605
- Guess we're gonna be
trapped in here together.
212
00:07:34,692 --> 00:07:36,955
I'm so happy you were
able to make it tonight.
213
00:07:37,042 --> 00:07:38,566
- Young ladies,
get on the other side
214
00:07:38,653 --> 00:07:40,742
of that big partition
out of the sight
215
00:07:40,829 --> 00:07:43,309
of these impressionable
young mens.
216
00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:45,137
- Wait, what's happening?
217
00:07:45,224 --> 00:07:47,226
I knew we had to leave
room for the Holy Ghost
218
00:07:47,313 --> 00:07:49,620
but not leave the actual room!
219
00:07:52,275 --> 00:07:54,146
[upbeat music]
220
00:07:54,233 --> 00:07:56,540
- So do you think we
look inappropriate enough
221
00:07:56,627 --> 00:07:58,673
for me to get laid off?
222
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,763
- They're gonna do
more than lay me off.
223
00:08:01,850 --> 00:08:04,983
What fair middle-aged wench
made this cake?
224
00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:07,203
I must bed her immediately.
[horse neighs]
225
00:08:07,290 --> 00:08:08,465
- Come on, Conan.
226
00:08:08,552 --> 00:08:11,599
Let's get me some severance.
227
00:08:11,686 --> 00:08:13,514
- Thank you all
for coming tonight.
228
00:08:13,601 --> 00:08:15,951
Martha made
a beautiful graveyard cake.
229
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,823
So please eat,
drink, and be scary.
230
00:08:18,910 --> 00:08:20,172
[laughs]
231
00:08:20,259 --> 00:08:22,392
- Yeah, I can tell
it's a graveyard cake.
232
00:08:22,479 --> 00:08:24,960
Looks dead on arrival.
233
00:08:25,047 --> 00:08:27,440
[Donna Summer's "She Works
Hard For The Money"]
234
00:08:27,528 --> 00:08:32,489
♪ ♪
235
00:08:32,576 --> 00:08:33,838
- Whoops!
- My cake!
236
00:08:33,925 --> 00:08:34,926
- Sorry.
237
00:08:35,013 --> 00:08:36,014
- That's mine!
- My fault.
238
00:08:36,101 --> 00:08:37,886
- Aw, man.
239
00:08:37,973 --> 00:08:40,541
♪ ♪
240
00:08:40,628 --> 00:08:42,325
- Oof!
Ah!
241
00:08:42,412 --> 00:08:43,674
Hot, hot, hot.
[spits]
242
00:08:43,761 --> 00:08:46,677
- Uh-oh!
She spat all over the cake!
243
00:08:46,764 --> 00:08:49,027
- Oh, dear.
Let me clean that up.
244
00:08:49,114 --> 00:08:50,202
- Whoa!
[laughs]
245
00:08:50,289 --> 00:08:53,118
[organ music]
246
00:08:53,205 --> 00:08:56,600
♪ ♪
247
00:08:56,687 --> 00:08:59,342
- I got lost
in Sodom and Gomorrah again?
248
00:08:59,429 --> 00:09:01,039
What will I ever do here?
249
00:09:03,607 --> 00:09:06,828
[together] ♪ Many sons
had Father Abraham ♪
250
00:09:06,915 --> 00:09:08,699
♪ I am one of them ♪
251
00:09:08,786 --> 00:09:10,179
♪ And so are you ♪
252
00:09:10,266 --> 00:09:12,529
♪ So let's just
praise the Lord ♪
253
00:09:12,616 --> 00:09:14,226
- Right arm!
[chuckles]
254
00:09:14,313 --> 00:09:17,708
- Singing songs was
ironically my idea of hell.
255
00:09:17,795 --> 00:09:21,451
Then I noticed Sister Johnson
fell asleep or maybe died.
256
00:09:21,538 --> 00:09:23,801
Either way, I was free.
257
00:09:23,888 --> 00:09:25,977
- Where do you think
you're going, sinner?
258
00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:28,284
- Are you serious?
The old lady's asleep.
259
00:09:28,371 --> 00:09:29,851
We're unsupervised.
260
00:09:29,938 --> 00:09:31,896
This is what we all
been waiting for.
261
00:09:31,983 --> 00:09:34,420
- We got to save his soul.
- No! Never!
262
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:36,074
[grunting]
263
00:09:39,382 --> 00:09:41,427
- This is boring.
264
00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:43,386
Let's watch something else.
265
00:09:43,473 --> 00:09:44,474
- You will--
266
00:09:44,561 --> 00:09:46,432
- Definitely die--
267
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,957
- Tonight.
268
00:09:49,044 --> 00:09:52,438
- That wasn't a coincidence.
269
00:09:52,525 --> 00:09:55,224
[phone rings, both scream]
270
00:09:55,311 --> 00:09:56,617
- H-h-hello?
271
00:09:56,704 --> 00:09:58,227
- [breathing heavily]
272
00:09:58,314 --> 00:09:59,620
- Hello?
273
00:10:01,578 --> 00:10:03,275
- Who was that?
274
00:10:03,362 --> 00:10:05,277
- Probably just a girl
wanting to hear
275
00:10:05,364 --> 00:10:08,106
the sound of my pretty voice.
[phone rings]
276
00:10:08,193 --> 00:10:09,847
- Girl, stop calling here.
Drew's not gonna pick you.
277
00:10:09,934 --> 00:10:12,937
- [breathing heavily]
278
00:10:13,024 --> 00:10:17,028
- Uh, I think one of your
admirers got emphysema.
279
00:10:17,115 --> 00:10:20,205
The next time the phone rings,
I ain't getting it.
280
00:10:20,292 --> 00:10:22,947
[static crackling]
281
00:10:23,034 --> 00:10:24,949
- It's probably one
of those girls climbing
282
00:10:25,036 --> 00:10:27,169
the roof to peeping Tom on me.
283
00:10:27,256 --> 00:10:29,475
Must have kicked the antenna.
[chuckles]
284
00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:31,390
- That's OK.
285
00:10:31,477 --> 00:10:34,655
I like watching static.
286
00:10:34,742 --> 00:10:37,179
[organ music]
287
00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:39,964
- [snoring]
- Lord, bind that horny demon!
288
00:10:40,051 --> 00:10:42,663
I rebuke the spirit of lust!
289
00:10:42,750 --> 00:10:44,186
- Get off me!
290
00:10:44,273 --> 00:10:46,188
- And, Lord,
please teach Chris
291
00:10:46,275 --> 00:10:47,929
how to enjoy being
with the opposite sex
292
00:10:48,016 --> 00:10:50,627
without trying to get him some.
293
00:10:50,714 --> 00:10:53,412
- [grunts]
Enough!
294
00:10:53,499 --> 00:10:55,588
Even the shepherd needs
a break from his sheep.
295
00:10:55,676 --> 00:10:57,460
Can I get an amen?
- No.
296
00:10:57,547 --> 00:10:59,027
- [sighs]
Come on.
297
00:10:59,114 --> 00:11:01,333
Don't you want to go
to the promised land?
298
00:11:01,420 --> 00:11:04,554
I said, can I get an amen?
299
00:11:04,641 --> 00:11:05,947
We're gonna be adults soon,
300
00:11:06,034 --> 00:11:08,514
working a double shift
on Halloween.
301
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,474
So tonight damn the rules.
302
00:11:11,561 --> 00:11:13,345
Damn the regulations.
303
00:11:13,432 --> 00:11:15,870
Let's do what kids are
supposed to do, my brothers.
304
00:11:15,957 --> 00:11:19,438
Can I get an amen?
305
00:11:19,525 --> 00:11:21,179
[together]
Amen!
306
00:11:21,266 --> 00:11:23,660
- Come on, Pharaoh,
you know you want to.
307
00:11:23,747 --> 00:11:25,357
- Amen!
308
00:11:25,444 --> 00:11:27,490
- And God said,
309
00:11:27,577 --> 00:11:30,711
let my people go!
310
00:11:30,798 --> 00:11:33,061
[hip-hop music plays]
Part-ay!
311
00:11:33,148 --> 00:11:34,410
[all gasp]
312
00:11:34,497 --> 00:11:37,239
Welcome to the land
of milk and honeys.
313
00:11:37,326 --> 00:11:39,241
♪ ♪
314
00:11:39,328 --> 00:11:41,417
[all cheering]
315
00:11:41,504 --> 00:11:43,811
- That's not the first
time Moses tricked Pharaoh.
316
00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:47,466
- Ah, Julius.
317
00:11:47,553 --> 00:11:49,381
This is taking too long.
318
00:11:49,468 --> 00:11:52,733
I'm running out of ways
to annoy white people.
319
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:54,952
- Why is that? You're an expert
at annoying Black people.
320
00:11:55,039 --> 00:11:57,476
[laughs]
Oh, I was just playing.
321
00:11:57,563 --> 00:11:58,695
[together]
Tim! Tim!
322
00:11:58,782 --> 00:12:00,871
Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
323
00:12:00,958 --> 00:12:03,265
Tim! Tim!
Tim! Tim!
324
00:12:03,352 --> 00:12:05,484
- Jackpot.
[together] Tim!
325
00:12:05,571 --> 00:12:08,009
Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
326
00:12:08,096 --> 00:12:09,358
- [gurgled scream]
327
00:12:09,445 --> 00:12:11,055
[all gasp]
- Hey, sweet cheeks.
328
00:12:11,142 --> 00:12:13,101
Great party.
- "Sweet cheeks"?
329
00:12:13,188 --> 00:12:14,667
Yes!
330
00:12:14,755 --> 00:12:17,453
My Booty Blaster 3000
is paying off!
331
00:12:17,540 --> 00:12:18,759
- What the hell?
332
00:12:18,846 --> 00:12:20,848
- Well, it was the '80s,
after all.
333
00:12:20,935 --> 00:12:23,807
Today if a doctor slaps
a newborn baby on the butt,
334
00:12:23,894 --> 00:12:26,244
the baby hires a lawyer.
335
00:12:26,331 --> 00:12:28,943
♪ ♪
336
00:12:29,030 --> 00:12:30,553
- Tasha, what's wrong?
337
00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:32,381
- It feels weird
to dance in church.
338
00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:34,383
Do you think things
are getting a little crazy?
339
00:12:34,470 --> 00:12:36,864
- No. Everyone's just
having a good time.
340
00:12:36,951 --> 00:12:38,953
- Who wants to do
something crazy?
341
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,433
Let's drink soda!
342
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,609
- Soda?
Sugar's not allowed.
343
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,524
What's happening?
344
00:12:45,611 --> 00:12:48,440
- What's happening is people
are having fun at church.
345
00:12:48,527 --> 00:12:49,485
- Ahh.
346
00:12:49,572 --> 00:12:52,705
I love this church!
347
00:12:52,793 --> 00:12:54,620
- You have nothing
to worry about, Tash.
348
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,797
It's gonna make more
kids want to come here.
349
00:12:56,884 --> 00:12:59,060
I sure have the spirit in me.
350
00:13:01,105 --> 00:13:03,151
Whoa, slow down.
- I was--I was just--
351
00:13:03,238 --> 00:13:06,154
- I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
352
00:13:06,241 --> 00:13:09,331
[eerie music]
353
00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:11,420
- I'm so glad we stayed in.
[static whirring]
354
00:13:11,507 --> 00:13:14,292
It's been a calm,
perfectly normal night.
355
00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:16,817
- Yep. Unexplainable things
happen every day.
356
00:13:16,904 --> 00:13:19,036
We're just programmed to think
when they happen on Halloween,
357
00:13:19,123 --> 00:13:21,125
it must be something
supernatural.
358
00:13:21,212 --> 00:13:22,431
[gasps]
- Scary!
359
00:13:22,518 --> 00:13:24,607
- [chuckles nervously]
The problem is,
360
00:13:24,694 --> 00:13:26,957
Daddy always be buying
these wack electronics.
361
00:13:27,044 --> 00:13:30,047
- Yeah. Instead of a Panasonic,
he got us a Pain-o-sonic.
362
00:13:30,134 --> 00:13:33,007
[both chuckling nervously]
363
00:13:33,094 --> 00:13:34,835
[chain saw revving,
both scream]
364
00:13:34,922 --> 00:13:38,186
- They're always trimming trees
on Halloween at 10:00 p.m.
365
00:13:38,273 --> 00:13:41,145
[thunder booming,
both screaming]
366
00:13:44,105 --> 00:13:45,497
- The night was going well,
367
00:13:45,584 --> 00:13:48,022
so I decided
to take a leap of faith
368
00:13:48,109 --> 00:13:51,808
and do something nerds like me
only dreamed about.
369
00:13:51,895 --> 00:13:54,289
- Hey, everybody, want to play
seven minutes in heaven?
370
00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,508
- Is that the game where you're
forced to be in the closet?
371
00:13:56,595 --> 00:13:57,466
I pass.
372
00:13:57,553 --> 00:13:58,946
- Come on.
373
00:13:59,033 --> 00:14:00,643
It's called seven minutes
in heaven.
374
00:14:00,730 --> 00:14:03,689
It was probably invented
in a church.
375
00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,169
OK, everybody.
376
00:14:05,256 --> 00:14:06,867
Write your name
on a piece of paper.
377
00:14:06,954 --> 00:14:09,521
And when you're done,
give it to me.
378
00:14:09,608 --> 00:14:11,436
Stained-glass window Jesus,
379
00:14:11,523 --> 00:14:13,395
please let me end up
in the closet with Tasha.
380
00:14:13,482 --> 00:14:15,571
Amen.
381
00:14:15,658 --> 00:14:17,181
- No need to pick
a name, Chris.
382
00:14:17,268 --> 00:14:19,140
I choose you.
- Whoa.
383
00:14:19,227 --> 00:14:20,837
No wonder people love You.
384
00:14:20,924 --> 00:14:23,448
- Go get thy some, Chris.
385
00:14:23,535 --> 00:14:26,756
[together]
Ooh! Yeah.
386
00:14:26,843 --> 00:14:28,801
- [sniffs] Mm!
- Ugh!
387
00:14:28,889 --> 00:14:32,022
- It still smells like
Chuck's funky tuna around here.
388
00:14:32,109 --> 00:14:33,850
I'll never be as bad as him.
389
00:14:33,937 --> 00:14:36,461
Come on, baby, let's go home.
390
00:14:36,548 --> 00:14:39,682
I just really wanted
to lose this job, Julius.
391
00:14:39,769 --> 00:14:41,771
I guess I'm not
annoying enough.
392
00:14:41,858 --> 00:14:43,338
- Baby, don't say that.
393
00:14:43,425 --> 00:14:46,036
- I'm letting us all down!
394
00:14:46,123 --> 00:14:47,429
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
395
00:14:47,516 --> 00:14:49,257
Come here.
396
00:14:49,344 --> 00:14:51,128
I've had so much fun
with you tonight.
397
00:14:51,215 --> 00:14:54,349
I appreciate all you do
to make our family better.
398
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:57,352
[sultry music]
399
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,310
- Ow!
400
00:14:59,397 --> 00:15:00,311
Oh, my goodness.
- Oh, baby.
401
00:15:00,398 --> 00:15:01,878
Oh, baby. Oh.
402
00:15:01,965 --> 00:15:03,880
- Oh, God, you're so sexy.
403
00:15:03,967 --> 00:15:05,403
[all gasp]
404
00:15:05,490 --> 00:15:08,885
- Those floppies had
our biggest account on them.
405
00:15:08,972 --> 00:15:12,454
- Rochelle, my office, now.
406
00:15:12,541 --> 00:15:15,413
[upbeat hip-hop music]
407
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:18,939
♪ ♪
408
00:15:19,026 --> 00:15:22,377
- This was it, the moment
that was gonna turn this
409
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,683
into the best Halloween
of my life.
410
00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:26,816
[light switch clicks]
Oh, man.
411
00:15:26,903 --> 00:15:28,731
I just love the Bible.
412
00:15:28,818 --> 00:15:30,341
What's that verse about being
fruitful and multiplying?
413
00:15:30,428 --> 00:15:31,995
[grunts]
- As if, Chris!
414
00:15:32,082 --> 00:15:34,302
- Ow! Why?
415
00:15:36,086 --> 00:15:39,611
- Sir, there is no excuse
for my behavior.
416
00:15:39,698 --> 00:15:42,484
- The risqué costume,
racing office chairs,
417
00:15:42,571 --> 00:15:46,792
ruining cake, making out
all over the office.
418
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,620
- Ah-bup-bup, shh.
419
00:15:48,707 --> 00:15:51,145
I understand.
You have to lay me off.
420
00:15:51,232 --> 00:15:53,147
I'll go box up my things.
421
00:15:53,234 --> 00:15:54,670
- [laughs]
Oh, no.
422
00:15:54,757 --> 00:15:56,541
You're not laid off.
423
00:15:56,628 --> 00:15:58,152
On the contrary,
you're the type of employee
424
00:15:58,239 --> 00:15:59,544
we need around here!
425
00:15:59,631 --> 00:16:01,329
- Are you drunk
on dreamsicle punch?
426
00:16:01,416 --> 00:16:03,722
- Corporate life can be
stagnant and predictable,
427
00:16:03,809 --> 00:16:06,247
but you found a way
to shake things up.
428
00:16:06,334 --> 00:16:07,813
Thank you.
429
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:09,859
- What about those
important floppies
430
00:16:09,946 --> 00:16:12,862
I destroyed while I was making
out with Conan out there?
431
00:16:12,949 --> 00:16:14,995
- Nothing is more important
than witnessing
432
00:16:15,082 --> 00:16:16,909
Black love on display.
433
00:16:16,997 --> 00:16:20,261
Hell, "Mahogany"
is my favorite movie.
434
00:16:22,132 --> 00:16:23,655
- Well, how'd it go?
435
00:16:23,742 --> 00:16:25,527
How much severance
did you get us?
436
00:16:25,614 --> 00:16:27,572
Can we send our favorite kid
to college?
437
00:16:27,659 --> 00:16:29,487
- He promoted me.
438
00:16:29,574 --> 00:16:31,402
- What?
- Oh, yeah.
439
00:16:31,489 --> 00:16:34,275
He hates spending money
on severance packages.
440
00:16:34,362 --> 00:16:35,841
That's why
it's nearly impossible
441
00:16:35,928 --> 00:16:37,278
to get laid off around here.
442
00:16:37,365 --> 00:16:40,237
It took Chuck
five long, annoying,
443
00:16:40,324 --> 00:16:42,848
tuna-filled years
to get him to cave.
444
00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:44,328
Just give up.
445
00:16:44,415 --> 00:16:47,549
- Oh, he's playing with me.
446
00:16:49,464 --> 00:16:51,770
He has no idea
who he's messing with.
447
00:16:53,381 --> 00:16:54,817
- Is this a game to you?
448
00:16:54,904 --> 00:16:56,645
Has this been your plan
all along?
449
00:16:56,732 --> 00:16:58,255
- You brought me in here.
450
00:16:58,342 --> 00:16:59,648
- I brought you in here
451
00:16:59,735 --> 00:17:01,302
to talk about how this party
is getting crazy.
452
00:17:01,389 --> 00:17:02,912
You're getting crazy!
453
00:17:02,999 --> 00:17:04,522
- I thought this
is what you wanted.
454
00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:05,915
You wanted a church guy.
455
00:17:06,002 --> 00:17:08,265
We're at church.
I'm a guy.
456
00:17:08,352 --> 00:17:11,051
I made this fun.
What else do you need me to do?
457
00:17:11,138 --> 00:17:13,227
Lead people through
the desert for 30 years?
458
00:17:13,314 --> 00:17:15,751
- It's 40 years, Chris, 40.
459
00:17:15,838 --> 00:17:17,753
- I'm just trying
to make an effort...
460
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,842
for you.
461
00:17:19,929 --> 00:17:21,235
- [sighs] Maybe I pushed the
church thing a little too hard.
462
00:17:21,322 --> 00:17:22,801
My mom's an ex-stripper.
463
00:17:22,888 --> 00:17:24,455
I don't even know
who my dad is.
464
00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:26,979
And I get bullied at school
for not liking Prince.
465
00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:28,851
This church is what
I need right now.
466
00:17:28,938 --> 00:17:30,766
I don't want anything
to jeopardize
467
00:17:30,853 --> 00:17:32,246
my relationship with God.
468
00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:34,683
I just need you
to be my friend.
469
00:17:34,770 --> 00:17:39,296
- I'd be happy
to be your friend.
470
00:17:39,383 --> 00:17:42,256
- Thanks.
I'll see you back out there.
471
00:17:43,779 --> 00:17:45,650
You better
not be telling anyone
472
00:17:45,737 --> 00:17:47,174
you were touching my booty
in here.
473
00:17:47,261 --> 00:17:48,218
[door closes]
474
00:17:48,305 --> 00:17:51,178
[hip-hop music playing]
475
00:17:51,265 --> 00:17:52,744
♪ ♪
476
00:17:52,831 --> 00:17:54,572
- Thanks a lot.
477
00:17:54,659 --> 00:17:56,139
- I'm sorry, Chris.
478
00:17:56,226 --> 00:17:58,663
Are you feeling sad?
A little uncomfortable, even?
479
00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:00,491
The kind of uncomfortable
480
00:18:00,578 --> 00:18:03,015
when you're nailed
to a wooden cross?
481
00:18:03,103 --> 00:18:05,627
- Chris,
by the way, as your friend,
482
00:18:05,714 --> 00:18:07,759
I advise you to go talk to her.
483
00:18:07,846 --> 00:18:09,413
- The chick
in the Bathsheba costume?
484
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,675
Why?
485
00:18:10,762 --> 00:18:12,982
- Trust me.
I put in a good word.
486
00:18:13,069 --> 00:18:15,027
[indistinct chatter]
487
00:18:15,115 --> 00:18:17,856
♪ ♪
488
00:18:17,943 --> 00:18:20,207
- It was actually cool
having a female friend.
489
00:18:20,294 --> 00:18:22,078
They're like male friends,
490
00:18:22,165 --> 00:18:25,342
only you can occasionally
stare at their asses.
491
00:18:25,429 --> 00:18:28,040
[glass dinging]
492
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:34,525
[both whimpering]
- What's happening?
493
00:18:34,612 --> 00:18:37,180
- Maybe Dad forgot
to pay the gravity bill.
494
00:18:37,267 --> 00:18:40,270
- This should be happening
to Chris.
495
00:18:40,357 --> 00:18:42,577
We got to get to a grown-up.
496
00:18:42,664 --> 00:18:45,580
[eerie music]
497
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:46,885
- Mr. Omar!
- [cackling]
498
00:18:46,972 --> 00:18:48,583
both: Mr. Omar!
499
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:51,673
Mr. Omar, let us in!
500
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,284
[door creaks]
501
00:18:54,371 --> 00:18:56,765
- Mr. Omar?
502
00:18:56,852 --> 00:18:58,941
♪ ♪
503
00:18:59,028 --> 00:19:00,203
- Boo!
- Aah!
504
00:19:00,290 --> 00:19:01,900
Don't you dare
touch his pretty face!
505
00:19:01,987 --> 00:19:03,206
Die, ghoul!
- Ow!
506
00:19:03,293 --> 00:19:04,903
- Mr. Omar?
507
00:19:04,990 --> 00:19:07,210
- You saved my life
and my face.
508
00:19:07,297 --> 00:19:08,603
- What is wrong with you?
509
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:11,736
This is the same costume
I was wearing earlier.
510
00:19:11,823 --> 00:19:14,261
Stabbing me with my own fork?
511
00:19:14,348 --> 00:19:15,697
That's cold.
512
00:19:15,784 --> 00:19:17,655
- I'm sorry, Mr. Omar.
513
00:19:17,742 --> 00:19:19,091
But what the hell's
wrong with you?
514
00:19:19,179 --> 00:19:21,006
- Aah!
515
00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:23,357
I just wanted to get you two
to believe in the magic
516
00:19:23,444 --> 00:19:25,010
of the season again.
517
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:28,144
- Well, good job scaring
two children half to death.
518
00:19:28,231 --> 00:19:30,146
[sighs]
I'll admit, you had us
519
00:19:30,233 --> 00:19:31,974
with the heavy-breathing
phone calls,
520
00:19:32,061 --> 00:19:34,498
the TV cutting off,
the chain saw sounds.
521
00:19:34,585 --> 00:19:36,761
- And don't forget
the windows opening and closing
522
00:19:36,848 --> 00:19:38,067
and those scary moans.
523
00:19:38,154 --> 00:19:39,764
How'd you do all that?
524
00:19:39,851 --> 00:19:42,419
- What?
What are you talking about?
525
00:19:42,506 --> 00:19:45,335
I just threw a few fake spiders
on your doorstep
526
00:19:45,422 --> 00:19:46,728
and put on this costume.
527
00:19:46,815 --> 00:19:48,730
I didn't do the other stuff.
528
00:19:48,817 --> 00:19:51,559
- I truly believe
that my family's brownstone
529
00:19:51,646 --> 00:19:53,822
was haunted
by the dead husbands
530
00:19:53,909 --> 00:19:57,129
of the widows Mr. Omar
hooked up with over the years.
531
00:19:57,217 --> 00:19:59,088
If those guys ever catch
Mr. Omar
532
00:19:59,175 --> 00:20:00,611
near the pearly gates,
533
00:20:00,698 --> 00:20:02,831
he's getting his ass beat.
534
00:20:02,918 --> 00:20:05,225
- Hey.
- Hey.
535
00:20:05,312 --> 00:20:08,489
I just want you to know
you saved my night.
536
00:20:08,576 --> 00:20:11,187
I thought it'd be boring,
but you made it fun.
537
00:20:11,274 --> 00:20:13,276
- Ah, it was no big deal.
- Mm.
538
00:20:13,363 --> 00:20:16,453
- Happy Halloween to me.
539
00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:17,846
- [yawns]
540
00:20:17,933 --> 00:20:18,847
[gasps]
541
00:20:18,934 --> 00:20:21,371
[all cheering]
542
00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:22,590
Kissing?
543
00:20:22,677 --> 00:20:24,331
Unsanctioned snacks?
544
00:20:24,418 --> 00:20:26,158
FM radio?
545
00:20:26,246 --> 00:20:28,160
Oh, Lord!
546
00:20:28,248 --> 00:20:31,555
These children have turned
Your house into a den of sin!
547
00:20:31,642 --> 00:20:34,515
Pharaoh, did you allow this?
548
00:20:34,602 --> 00:20:37,257
- Uh, as a responsible
youth leader
549
00:20:37,344 --> 00:20:39,998
and a respected member
of this church community,
550
00:20:40,085 --> 00:20:43,088
I just want you to know,
Chris did it!
551
00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,960
- Hey, come on, guys.
552
00:20:45,047 --> 00:20:46,091
We had fun, right?
553
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:48,093
- Stone him!
- Judas!
554
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:50,487
- [grunts]
Jeez, Jesus.
555
00:20:50,574 --> 00:20:52,054
You too?
556
00:20:52,141 --> 00:20:55,362
- Yes, for playing
East Coast rap in my house.
557
00:20:55,449 --> 00:20:58,843
Everyone knows I like NWA.
558
00:20:58,930 --> 00:21:00,758
- [groans]
559
00:21:00,845 --> 00:21:05,154
singers: ♪ Everybody
still hates Chris ♪
560
00:21:05,241 --> 00:21:07,156
[vocalizing]
561
00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:39,837
- ♪ MTV ♪
562
00:21:39,837 --> 00:21:44,837
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563
00:21:39,837 --> 00:21:49,837
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