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1
00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:10,176
[Gideon] [on TV]
We just shape, shape, shape.
2
00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:13,746
And we keep shaping
until we get something
3
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:15,681
that looks like...
[chuckles]
4
00:00:15,682 --> 00:00:17,617
...a bow tie.
5
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:21,754
Boom.
Why, hello, Mr. Bond.
6
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:24,690
Now you're ready
to complete your mission,
7
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,425
even if it's just
lookin' sharp
8
00:00:26,426 --> 00:00:28,193
{\an8}at your buddy's wedding.
9
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:32,531
{\an8}Now I can hear some of you
screaming at the screen.
10
00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:34,833
Whoa, hang on there, Gideon.
11
00:00:34,834 --> 00:00:37,436
Way too fast. Way too fast.
12
00:00:37,437 --> 00:00:39,706
{\an8}Okay, I hear you.
Stop yelling at me.
13
00:00:40,173 --> 00:00:43,609
{\an8}Now, I don't want you
to be frustrated
14
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:45,411
{\an8}- because yours didn't
turn out perfectly...
- [doorbell chimes]
15
00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:47,514
{\an8}...the first time.
I've had--
16
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:53,152
{\an8}What the...
Can I help you?
17
00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:54,621
{\an8}[chauffeur]
I'm your chauffeur.
18
00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:58,258
{\an8}Round-trip car service
compliments of the groom.
19
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:02,729
{\an8}Oh, uh, you sure
that's for me?
20
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:05,631
{\an8}Should've been mentioned
on your invitation.
21
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,167
{\an8}Mind if I take a peek?
22
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:09,169
{\an8}Yeah, sure.
23
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:12,571
{\an8}[chauffeur]
It must be a misprint.
24
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,440
{\an8}I'll have a talk with
our secretary about that.
25
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:16,542
{\an8}The car is ready
whenever you are.
26
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:18,111
{\an8}Oh, uh...
27
00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:20,646
{\an8}Oh... Yeah, okay.
Well, can you, uh...
28
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:22,848
{\an8}- Two minutes. Two minutes
and then I'll...
- Of course.
29
00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:24,317
{\an8}Okay, thank you.
30
00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:27,520
{\an8}[footsteps plodding]
31
00:01:28,621 --> 00:01:29,722
{\an8}[door creaks]
32
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:33,126
{\an8}[* ominous music playing]
33
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,130
[birds chirping]
34
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,631
[door creaks]
35
00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:40,699
[door latch clicks]
36
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,401
Lift it up.
37
00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:44,803
Put it through
that small hole.
38
00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:49,642
{\an8}Then we just shape,
shape, shape.
39
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,443
{\an8}[chauffeur] Need a hand
with that bow tie?
40
00:01:51,444 --> 00:01:53,379
{\an8}[Gideon] ...shaping
until we get something
41
00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:55,214
{\an8}that looks like...
[chuckles]
42
00:01:55,215 --> 00:01:56,682
{\an8}...a bow tie.
43
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:59,651
{\an8}[chuckling] Yes, I actually do.
That would be great.
44
00:01:59,652 --> 00:02:01,554
{\an8}[Gideon] I don't want you
to be frustrated.
45
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:03,756
Yeah, I would appreciate that.
46
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:04,857
[* foreboding music playing]
47
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,358
I'm a teacher.
I should...
48
00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:07,426
I should be able
to teach myself
49
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:09,763
how to use
a bow tie. [chuckles]
50
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:13,298
I wanted to wear a clip-on.
51
00:02:13,299 --> 00:02:14,667
[chauffeur]
Oh, no, no, no, no.
52
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,302
The groom wasn't having it.
53
00:02:18,338 --> 00:02:20,740
- [chauffeur] This is a nice tux.
- Thank you.
54
00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:24,977
[chauffeur] What are you,
a 41 regular?
55
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,279
- Oh, yeah, I am.
- [chauffeur] Perfect. Me too.
56
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,547
[victim gasps]
57
00:02:28,548 --> 00:02:31,685
- [* ominous music playing]
- [victim gasping]
58
00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:38,957
[victim moans]
59
00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:41,460
Not too tight that
it's choking you,
60
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:43,228
unless that's
what you're into.
61
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:44,363
- [victim gasping]
- [fabric creaking]
62
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:46,700
[Gideon] Take that side,
throw it over the shoulder.
63
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,302
[body thuds]
64
00:02:51,871 --> 00:02:53,472
{\an8}[glass eye thumps]
65
00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:54,540
{\an8}[zipper whizzes]
66
00:02:54,541 --> 00:02:56,476
{\an8}[* foreboding music playing]
67
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:03,483
[button clicks]
68
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:08,254
{\an8}[plastic crinkling]
69
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:14,728
[Gideon]
Why, hello, Mr. Bond.
70
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,796
Now you're ready
to complete your mission,
71
00:03:17,797 --> 00:03:21,266
even if it's just lookin' sharp
at your buddy's wedding.
72
00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:24,703
{\an8}Now I can hear some of you
screaming at the screen.
73
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:25,871
{\an8}[mask squishing]
74
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,307
{\an8}Whoa, hang on there,
Gideon.
75
00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:30,876
{\an8}Way too fast.
Way too fast.
76
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,644
{\an8}Okay, I hear you.
Stop yelling at me.
77
00:03:32,645 --> 00:03:36,348
I make it look easy.
But right now,
78
00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:39,786
I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.
79
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:43,422
If your bow tie looks
a little messy,
80
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:45,624
that's part of the charm.
81
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:48,627
{\an8}I want you to pause
this video right now
82
00:03:48,628 --> 00:03:50,295
{\an8}- and go find a picture...
- [electronic beeping]
83
00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:52,664
{\an8}...of Winston Churchill.
84
00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:56,402
His bow ties were
always a train wreck.
85
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,673
One side is bigger
than the other,
it's all askew.
86
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:04,811
- [button clicks]
- [zipper whizzing]
87
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:22,929
[guard]
Good afternoon, sir.
88
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:25,598
I just need a invitation
and some ID.
89
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:36,543
Welcome, Mr. Tolocci.
90
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,044
- Are you alright, sir?
- Yeah.
91
00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:42,449
[engine revving]
92
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,356
[* upbeat dance music playing]
93
00:04:56,396 --> 00:04:59,566
[camera shutter clicking]
94
00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:16,816
[* upbeat dance music continues]
95
00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:25,024
Excuse me, what is this?
Tastes like balls.
96
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,593
Oh, that's
the main ingredient.
97
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,761
It's our signature cocktail
this evening.
98
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:31,730
Vodka, botanicals,
and Ballzilla energy drink.
99
00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:34,633
Isn't that, that MLM
that keeps getting sued
left and right?
100
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:36,669
Uh, at least two
of those lawsuits settled.
101
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,971
But, um, if you're interested
in manifesting abundance
102
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:41,774
and joining the groom's
Ballzilla Triangle of Success,
103
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:42,841
- I can--
- [glass clinks]
104
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,144
I'm not. Thank you.
105
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:47,881
[* upbeat dance music playing]
106
00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,756
- Thank you.
- Sure.
107
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:06,999
Who are you here for?
108
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,436
[* tense music playing]
109
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,409
The groom.
110
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,821
[* upbeat dance music playing]
111
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:35,929
Oh, my God.
112
00:06:39,632 --> 00:06:42,836
[* jazzy bridal music playing]
113
00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:56,615
[fake Tolocci]
Why the hell
114
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,785
are there federal agents
staking out the wedding?
115
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,588
And why am I only finding out
about this now?
116
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,522
I mean,
who do you think I am?
117
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:05,825
Who the fuck
do you think you have hired?
118
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:09,228
You want a cowboy,
go to the ranch,
119
00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:10,763
'cause I am a professional
120
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,632
and when my employer
gives me faulty prep,
121
00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:15,601
that makes me walk away.
122
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:17,269
'Cause that means
I'm either being misled
123
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,538
or I'm being led
by an idiot.
124
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:20,472
So, which is it?
125
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,107
[client] [on phone]
Stick with the plan.
126
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,243
Find a patsy
to take the fall,
127
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:26,512
and we'll double your fee
to help compensate
128
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:28,615
for the added risk.
129
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,650
Patsy? Right.
130
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,485
[door opens]
131
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,892
[water splashing]
132
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,733
[gasps]
133
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:49,836
I did not see you there.
134
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,205
[fake Tolocci]
Uh, that's okay, Dad.
135
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,741
That's right.
136
00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:57,110
Yeah, I'll tell her.
137
00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:59,646
Okay. Bye-bye.
138
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:04,149
I am so sorry. I'm all
over the place today.
139
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,552
Oh, that's alright.
140
00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:07,619
I'm all over
the place every day.
141
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,555
Well, I mean, I would
lose my oyster knife
142
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,991
if it wasn't attached
to my, uh... Oh, my...
143
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:15,060
You know what?
I actually have to get
these in the fridge.
144
00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:16,295
I am so sorry.
145
00:08:16,296 --> 00:08:18,798
Um, hi and bye.
[chuckles]
146
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:21,067
- [door opens]
- Goodbye.
147
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:27,640
[* dramatic music playing]
148
00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,779
Patsy, on the half shell.
149
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,015
[* dramatic music swells]
150
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:42,988
[* upbeat dance music playing]
151
00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:44,958
You look like
you could use a drink,
152
00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:47,827
one without ball juice.
153
00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:51,997
But then how am I going
to get my daily dose
154
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,866
of radioactive sludge?
155
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:57,202
[both laughing]
156
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,872
I'm kidding. Um, cheers.
157
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,040
[glasses clink]
158
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,075
- I'm Alex.
- Todd.
159
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:06,579
[* upbeat dance music playing]
160
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:12,084
Has, uh, has anyone ever
called you Hot Toddy?
161
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,187
[fake Tolocci] [laughs]
Not until today.
162
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,288
[Kirby]
There he is!
163
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,258
Mr. Tolocci,
fucking legend.
164
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,659
Come here.
Get over here.
165
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,061
- Come on.
- [Kirby] Hey, get the guys.
166
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,896
- Hey, come here.
- Hey, Lenape High pic.
167
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,030
This guy!
168
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:26,299
[laughing]
169
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:28,334
I can't believe
how different you look.
170
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,002
- [fake Tolocci] Yeah, well.
- You're...
171
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,236
You... you used
to look different.
172
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:32,771
Well, it's been
a few years, Kirby.
173
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:35,207
Yeah. I-I'm so glad
you're here, Mr. T.
174
00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:37,676
I-I still feel bad
about that whole...
175
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:38,977
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, I didn't even know
176
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:40,245
a rubber band could do that.
177
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,047
- Well...
- They should, they should put
178
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:43,315
a warning label
or some shit
179
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,717
on those packages,
you know, if they're
that fuckin' dangerous.
180
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:47,753
Well, they do.
It's written on the back.
You just gotta read it.
181
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,922
Remember that eye jelly
all over your classroom floor.
182
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:50,956
Oh, I remember that.
183
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:53,025
Dude, that was fucked up.
184
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,326
- Yeah.
- Listen to me now,
185
00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:55,794
I'm gonna make it all up to you.
186
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,896
I've got a new product line
that's dropping,
187
00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:02,368
Ballzilla supplement powders,
"Powder Your Ballz."
188
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,670
And I'm gonna get you in
on the ground floor.
189
00:10:04,671 --> 00:10:07,373
So no more of that bullshit
teacher salary shit, man.
190
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:12,077
Get ready to start
manifesting abundance.
191
00:10:12,078 --> 00:10:14,647
[fake Tolocci]
That's awesome, man.
I'll see you guys.
192
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,385
Not so fast.
193
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,753
You gotta do the thing.
194
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:23,957
[* upbeat dance music playing]
195
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,260
[* tense music playing]
196
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:29,428
The thing?
197
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:30,996
Yeah, the fuckin'
hilarious thing
198
00:10:30,997 --> 00:10:32,698
you used to do
all the time.
199
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:33,432
Do it.
200
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:36,836
[* tense music continues]
201
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,674
- Oh, yeah.
- Come on, do it right now.
202
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,678
Fuckin' do it.
203
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:47,747
Sure.
204
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:52,886
[* gentle music playing]
205
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,790
There's just one more thing.
206
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,391
[group laughing]
207
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:02,362
Right? Just one thing.
208
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,497
I don't even know
where that shit is from.
209
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,399
That cracks me
the fuck up, dude.
210
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,903
You're a fucking legend, Mr. T.
211
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,137
Fuck you. You're so funny.
212
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:15,074
[group] [chanting]
Mr. T! Mr. T!
213
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,376
Mr. T! Mr. T!
214
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:20,346
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, what did we say
about chanting?
215
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,914
No chanting
till after the toast.
216
00:11:21,915 --> 00:11:24,150
No chanting, period.
217
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:28,822
[whispering]
If you don't get your shit
together, I'm gonna...
218
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:31,358
- [kiss smacks]
- Love you.
219
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,096
I gotta go do
some chick shit.
220
00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:38,765
[softly] Mr. T.
221
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:44,103
[exhales]
222
00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:46,939
I think you need
to manifest some new friends.
223
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,041
Yeah.
224
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:55,949
[* foreboding music playing]
225
00:12:17,604 --> 00:12:20,974
[* upbeat dance music playing]
226
00:12:27,113 --> 00:12:28,548
[man]
Hey, asshole!
227
00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:32,451
[urine splashing]
228
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:35,889
[* faint dance music playing]
229
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:41,928
[* foreboding music playing]
230
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,568
[scoffs]
231
00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:51,404
Dude, these aren't
the only two urinals.
232
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,872
You got other options.
233
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:55,575
You don't have to stand
right next to me.
234
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:59,211
This is why we always
used to rag on you, man.
235
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:01,047
'Cause you are
a fuckin' pervo.
236
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,148
Don't look at my dick, dude.
237
00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,018
[urine splashing]
238
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:06,552
Take your hands off me.
239
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:09,288
- [Kirby gasping]
- [urine splashing]
240
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,957
[grunting]
241
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,295
[* dramatic music playing]
242
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,198
[groaning]
243
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:26,271
[* dramatic music swells]
244
00:13:26,272 --> 00:13:27,574
[body thuds]
245
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,911
[* faint dance music continues]
246
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,591
[fake Tolocci grunts]
247
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,130
[* suspenseful music playing]
248
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,047
[* upbeat dance music playing]
249
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,083
[guests chattering]
250
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:16,221
[sniffs] Fuck.
251
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:17,891
What the hell?
252
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:19,492
Oh!
253
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,971
I'm gonna find
whoever did this.
254
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:33,673
This is basically murder.
255
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:36,576
Do you hear me? Murder?
256
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:40,613
[oysters clinking]
257
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:46,086
[footsteps clomping]
258
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:54,060
[* foreboding music playing]
259
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,998
[water splashes]
260
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:02,102
[* foreboding music swells]
261
00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,278
[* electronic
dance music playing]
262
00:15:13,279 --> 00:15:16,615
[buttons clicking]
263
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,517
Where is he?
Where does he go?
264
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,352
I don't even understand.
265
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,221
This is my day, Mom.
266
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:25,524
Like, we've have been planning
this for fuckin' ages.
267
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,159
You don't get married twice.
268
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,595
I've never gonna wear
this dress again.
269
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,563
Where the fuck is he?
270
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:35,434
[fireworks whistling,
booming]
271
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:39,339
♪
272
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,309
No. No, no, no.
273
00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:48,147
The fireworks are for when
we leave on the boat. No!
274
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:51,317
[fireworks booming,
whistling]
275
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,188
Why is the boat out?
276
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:57,123
Kirby!
277
00:15:58,224 --> 00:16:01,694
I begged you
not to humiliate me
in front of my parents!
278
00:16:01,695 --> 00:16:04,730
I even let you pick
your stupid fuckin' soda.
279
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,600
Why are you
ruining this for me?
280
00:16:08,601 --> 00:16:10,737
[* dramatic musical sting]
281
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:16,442
[screaming]
282
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:18,745
[* dramatic music swells]
283
00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:22,349
- Oh, my God!
- Do you all see that?
284
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,353
I didn't do it.
285
00:16:32,726 --> 00:16:36,062
[* swing dance music playing]
286
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,099
[shoes tapping]
287
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,170
[groans]
288
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:46,473
[sighs]
289
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,576
Ah, geez.
290
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:53,780
Oh. Oof. [grunts]
291
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:57,550
- [* swing music continues]
- [shoes tapping]
292
00:16:58,485 --> 00:16:59,852
Mickey Rooney
School for Dogs?
293
00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,488
Or something, gosh.
294
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,123
[broom handle bangs]
295
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:07,426
Hey, Fred Astaire,
pipe down!
296
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:09,728
Your dreams are killing
my sleeps, you know?
297
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:13,400
- [doorbell buzzing]
- Geez, what now?
298
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,568
Ugh, humbug.
299
00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,437
[lock clicking]
300
00:17:18,772 --> 00:17:21,341
Good morning.
I brought you breakfast.
301
00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,142
[chuckles]
302
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,244
Eh.
303
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:27,546
Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
304
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:30,482
Alright, hey, nobody,
nobody brings a free breakfast
305
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,317
without expecting
some kind of a favor.
306
00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:36,322
It's less of a favor
and more of an opportunity.
307
00:17:36,656 --> 00:17:40,159
Oh ho, I see.
308
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,795
You must think I'm
some kind of a sucker?
309
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,596
It's pronounced shucker.
310
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:45,497
What is?
311
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,366
[vehicle engine revving]
312
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:48,767
[engine rumbling]
313
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:52,137
[car backfiring]
314
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:54,407
[Charlie] [groans]
Oingo boingo.
315
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:59,244
Man, I am sorry
for this whole
kook-hiss-bang.
316
00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:02,681
I, I'm afraid to say, I think
the Cuda's on her last legs.
317
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,350
Well, I didn't want
to say anything,
318
00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:06,819
but your car sounds like
a herd of seals having an orgy.
319
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,821
So, how'd you come up
with this whole thing?
320
00:18:08,822 --> 00:18:09,922
Well, after I met
that oyster farmer
321
00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:11,390
in my Estonian
dance class,
322
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:15,194
I realized all I need
is some ice, a sign,
323
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:17,831
some fresh oysters,
cute old-timey uniforms
324
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:20,566
and I'm ready
to build a thriving
325
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,401
wedding oyster shucking
empire.
326
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,804
Well, sadly, I got
this hard, uncrossable line
327
00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:28,173
when it comes
to old-timey uniforms, so...
328
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:29,709
We're making
seven grand for this.
329
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:33,346
Gosh, it just became more
of a subtle gradation.
330
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:35,881
Seven grand? Alex, yes.
331
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:38,852
Oyster shuckers
from Estonia!
332
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,855
They're either submerged
in the boathouse underwater
333
00:18:42,856 --> 00:18:44,556
or they're in here
334
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,459
between 39
and 41 degrees,
335
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,728
this is key.
336
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:52,264
These oysters make
the ultimate sacrifice for us,
337
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:53,766
and we honor that
by making sure
338
00:18:53,767 --> 00:18:55,668
no oyster dies in vain.
339
00:18:55,669 --> 00:18:57,269
No oyster left behind.
340
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:58,971
This is
the oyster shucker's code.
341
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,674
Also, a spoiled batch
could literally kill
342
00:19:01,675 --> 00:19:03,776
everyone at this wedding.
343
00:19:03,777 --> 00:19:04,910
Fuck.
344
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,912
[plastic rustles]
345
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,815
Maybe I'll just stick
with the lemons.
346
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,618
Thank you for
doing this with me.
347
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,487
When I met you,
348
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:17,690
I was at the lowest point
in my life,
349
00:19:17,691 --> 00:19:22,962
um, but I feel like things
are finally turning around.
350
00:19:23,697 --> 00:19:25,464
Aw, shucks.
351
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:26,799
Is that a oyster pun?
352
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,434
Yeah, oyster pun.
353
00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:29,736
[laughs]
354
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,470
Be careful with that.
355
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:34,641
[* upbeat dance music playing]
356
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:44,983
- [guard] You alright, sir?
- Yeah.
357
00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:45,918
[FBI agent]
Todd Tolocci.
358
00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:48,887
Uh, groom's
high school English teacher.
359
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:50,522
- Not a threat.
- Roger that.
360
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:54,860
I still think this is
a stupid fuckin' idea.
361
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,496
Agent Milligan,
teamwork means being open
362
00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,232
to any and all ideas.
363
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:02,001
Agent Clark feels strongly
this endeavor's worthwhile.
364
00:20:02,002 --> 00:20:03,803
- I would like you
to be supportive.
- Ma'am.
365
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:06,840
I think it's great that you
went to sensitivity training,
366
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:09,342
but I know that
you agree with me.
367
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,510
This is bullshit.
368
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:13,846
Those feelings are,
are also valid.
369
00:20:13,847 --> 00:20:15,047
Thank you
for sharing them.
370
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:17,883
Let's just focus on IDing
everyone entering those gates.
371
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,518
We get in, we film,
we congratulate
372
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,020
and we disappear,
no surprises.
373
00:20:21,021 --> 00:20:22,655
Better fuckin' not be.
374
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:25,324
[inhales deeply, exhales]
375
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:27,626
[Alex] Alright. These are
from Wellfleet Harbor.
376
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:28,761
They're very silky.
377
00:20:28,762 --> 00:20:30,396
Newfoundlands,
they're nuttier.
378
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,798
And these are
Long Island Blue Points,
379
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,534
they're salty and meaty.
380
00:20:34,734 --> 00:20:36,802
- You got it?
- Aye-aye.
381
00:20:36,803 --> 00:20:38,537
[* upbeat music playing]
382
00:20:38,538 --> 00:20:39,673
Hey.
383
00:20:40,306 --> 00:20:43,409
Oh, hey, these are, uh...
What do you call it?
384
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:46,612
Deep Water Horizon.
They got a nice oily texture.
385
00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:48,447
No thank you.
386
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,684
Oyster? Okay.
387
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:53,419
I hope the shrimps
are doing better
388
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:55,488
than the oysters, yeah.
[snorts]
389
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:57,691
Oh, wow. Gosh.
390
00:20:57,891 --> 00:20:59,491
Imagine that,
using your own wedding
391
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:01,326
to just shill
some pyramid scheme.
392
00:21:01,327 --> 00:21:03,562
[chuckles]
No, it's, it's not
a pyramid scheme.
393
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,898
It's a triangular
selling system,
394
00:21:05,899 --> 00:21:07,966
which is totally legal
in 32 states.
395
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:10,803
Euclidean. Huh. Oyster?
396
00:21:10,804 --> 00:21:12,538
Oh, yeah.
Don't mind if I do.
397
00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:13,740
Well, thank you.
398
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:18,778
Oyster? Oysters.
399
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:21,348
Eh, oyster?
400
00:21:21,681 --> 00:21:23,450
- Thank you.
- Sure.
401
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:33,092
Fucking thing.
402
00:21:33,093 --> 00:21:34,626
[Charlie]
Oysters over here?
403
00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:38,431
♪ Feeling that I never
never, never knew I had ♪
404
00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:42,067
Emotional day, huh?
405
00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:45,372
Yeah, me too. I always get
a little weepy at these.
406
00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:49,875
Oh, I see, uh,
407
00:21:49,876 --> 00:21:52,779
you're listing a little
to starboard there, chief.
408
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:57,583
- Yeah?
- Ah, yes, weird.
409
00:21:57,584 --> 00:21:59,451
Shouldn't these
be shucked to order?
410
00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:01,420
How long have they just
been sitting on ice?
411
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,423
Ah, I don't know.
Is that protocol?
412
00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:06,425
Well, you see my partner,
she doesn't even trust me
with the oyster knife.
413
00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:08,127
Uh, thinks I'm
gonna hurt myself.
414
00:22:08,128 --> 00:22:10,663
Well, in the wrong hands,
they can be very dangerous.
415
00:22:11,064 --> 00:22:12,532
Is that how you got that?
416
00:22:13,299 --> 00:22:17,569
Oh, this? Uh, no,
this happened in my garden.
417
00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:18,705
Bullshit.
418
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:22,641
I'm so sorry.
You see, I got this thing...
419
00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:24,043
[host] [on mic]
We invite our guests
420
00:22:24,044 --> 00:22:25,878
to make their way
out to the lawn.
421
00:22:25,879 --> 00:22:27,847
The ceremony
is about to begin.
422
00:22:29,182 --> 00:22:30,582
If you'll excuse me.
423
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:31,818
Okey-doke.
424
00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:35,088
Alright. Oyster?
425
00:22:35,488 --> 00:22:38,425
- [* gentle music playing]
- [Charlie sighs]
426
00:22:38,658 --> 00:22:40,793
You really think
it's a pyramid scheme?
427
00:22:40,794 --> 00:22:42,494
Oh, I don't know, man.
428
00:22:42,495 --> 00:22:45,030
Look, if it's working out
for you, who am I to judge?
429
00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:47,533
I spent 46,000
in upfront costs
430
00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:50,804
and so far
I've made 345 back.
431
00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:54,474
- Huh, thousand?
- No.
432
00:22:55,642 --> 00:22:56,575
[door opens]
433
00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:58,577
[Kirby] I don't want
to see that shit, man.
434
00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:00,045
[Luca] Kirby,
come on, hear me out.
435
00:23:00,046 --> 00:23:01,914
[door slams]
436
00:23:01,915 --> 00:23:03,015
Luca?
437
00:23:03,016 --> 00:23:04,483
[Kirby] Tell her
I didn't invite her,
438
00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:06,218
'cause I don't want her
in my life.
439
00:23:06,219 --> 00:23:07,586
I'm doing fine without her.
440
00:23:07,587 --> 00:23:09,722
You tell her I am
crushing without her.
441
00:23:09,723 --> 00:23:11,791
- Now leave me the fuck alone!
- [objects clattering]
442
00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:14,194
Hey, Luca.
443
00:23:15,128 --> 00:23:17,497
Oh, no.
444
00:23:17,731 --> 00:23:20,166
Oh, my thoughts exactly.
445
00:23:20,467 --> 00:23:22,101
Geez, what the fuck, man?
What are you doing here?
446
00:23:22,102 --> 00:23:24,636
- I am not here.
- Oh, I see.
447
00:23:24,637 --> 00:23:27,206
Am I talking to some
kind of, uh, an ABBA,
448
00:23:27,207 --> 00:23:29,975
a Tupac hologram
situation here?
449
00:23:29,976 --> 00:23:31,076
Stop it? No, stop it.
450
00:23:31,077 --> 00:23:33,178
I'm me,
but I'm undercover.
451
00:23:33,179 --> 00:23:34,580
Okay,
'cause I was gonna say,
holy shit,
452
00:23:34,581 --> 00:23:37,851
that's some
very impressive technology
you got going at the FBI.
453
00:23:39,252 --> 00:23:42,489
Really? Uh, what, are you
busting up this Ballzilla scam?
454
00:23:43,256 --> 00:23:45,557
Yes. That is exactly
what I'm doing.
455
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:47,493
- Bullshit.
- [sighs]
456
00:23:47,494 --> 00:23:48,660
I'll never
get used to that.
457
00:23:48,661 --> 00:23:50,162
This is not what
I need right now.
458
00:23:50,163 --> 00:23:51,130
[Charlie]
Oh, of course.
459
00:23:51,131 --> 00:23:52,698
Because you and me,
same time, same place,
460
00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:55,000
usually some
bad shit goes down.
461
00:23:55,001 --> 00:23:56,902
Well that, and
it's gonna set back
462
00:23:56,903 --> 00:23:58,838
my therapy
by several months.
463
00:23:59,172 --> 00:24:00,839
Been working on
my impostor syndrome
464
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:04,810
since I keep getting
promoted because of...
well, you.
465
00:24:04,811 --> 00:24:07,681
Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
466
00:24:07,981 --> 00:24:10,617
Or... congratulations?
467
00:24:11,084 --> 00:24:12,618
Look, do your thing.
468
00:24:12,619 --> 00:24:14,153
I'm gonna stay out
of your way, alright.
469
00:24:14,154 --> 00:24:15,287
- It's, uh, not a problem.
- No--
470
00:24:15,288 --> 00:24:17,223
- Just give me...
- Oh, God.
471
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:23,930
- Is that Hasp?
- Yes.
472
00:24:24,831 --> 00:24:26,165
[paper rustling]
473
00:24:26,166 --> 00:24:27,767
"There in spirit...
474
00:24:29,169 --> 00:24:30,203
love, Mom."
475
00:24:30,570 --> 00:24:32,806
You're not getting
involved, Charlie.
476
00:24:33,306 --> 00:24:35,140
Wait, wait, wait.
477
00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:37,943
So is the groom
Hasp's son?
478
00:24:37,944 --> 00:24:39,845
Shh, keep your voice down.
479
00:24:39,846 --> 00:24:42,614
But, yes, Hasp made it
a condition of her testimony
480
00:24:42,615 --> 00:24:46,086
that she gets to watch
the wedding on livestream.
481
00:24:46,353 --> 00:24:47,386
She hasn't seen him
since he was born.
482
00:24:47,387 --> 00:24:49,621
I guess she wanted to get
some kind of closure,
483
00:24:49,622 --> 00:24:50,823
but he did not take it well.
484
00:24:50,824 --> 00:24:52,157
No, I saw that shit.
485
00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:54,560
Oh, fuck, man,
she's gonna be heartbroken.
486
00:24:54,561 --> 00:24:56,195
Let me worry about Hasp.
487
00:24:56,196 --> 00:24:58,664
You enjoy whatever
it is you're doing
488
00:24:58,665 --> 00:24:59,999
in your old-timey uniform.
489
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:01,333
Good to see you.
Goodbye.
490
00:25:01,334 --> 00:25:03,703
[* foreboding music playing]
491
00:25:04,671 --> 00:25:05,672
[sighs]
492
00:25:12,312 --> 00:25:14,681
- [gulls squawking]
- [Kirby sniffles]
493
00:25:19,219 --> 00:25:21,054
[Charlie]
Ballzilla and vodka?
494
00:25:21,955 --> 00:25:23,823
Not a good time
right now. Thank you.
495
00:25:24,157 --> 00:25:25,892
It's mostly vodka.
496
00:25:27,127 --> 00:25:29,129
[gulls squawking]
497
00:25:29,496 --> 00:25:34,000
Eh. Eh, it's really weird.
498
00:25:34,234 --> 00:25:35,635
I know your mom.
499
00:25:36,569 --> 00:25:39,939
Actually, uh, she spent
a long time trying to kill me.
500
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,042
Don't worry,
we kinda worked it out.
501
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:45,011
Well, I'm glad that
worked out for you, but...
502
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:50,015
This woman...
doesn't give
a fuck about me.
503
00:25:50,016 --> 00:25:53,919
She abandoned me
when I was this
tiny pussy-ass baby.
504
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,088
And now she knows
I'm getting married,
505
00:25:56,089 --> 00:25:57,156
but she doesn't
come in person.
506
00:25:57,157 --> 00:25:59,625
She sends this fucking dweeb
to do a livestream.
507
00:25:59,626 --> 00:26:01,361
And I'm supposed
to be what? Grateful?
508
00:26:02,128 --> 00:26:04,830
You see, she's
the kind of person
509
00:26:04,831 --> 00:26:07,299
where everyone
she gets close to
510
00:26:07,300 --> 00:26:10,804
winds up either murdered,
maimed, or arrested.
511
00:26:11,004 --> 00:26:13,806
And when you're
that kind of person,
512
00:26:13,807 --> 00:26:16,942
well, the most loving thing
you can do for someone
513
00:26:16,943 --> 00:26:20,346
is to stay as far away
from them as possible
514
00:26:20,347 --> 00:26:22,382
no matter how painful.
515
00:26:23,283 --> 00:26:27,186
So, if she's reaching out
to you from WITSEC
516
00:26:27,187 --> 00:26:30,322
through that FBI dweeb, ah,
517
00:26:30,323 --> 00:26:32,825
that means, like,
she must have called in
518
00:26:32,826 --> 00:26:34,793
a million favors,
you know,
519
00:26:34,794 --> 00:26:38,664
risked her life
just to see you again.
520
00:26:38,665 --> 00:26:41,167
Just to get
that picture to you.
521
00:26:41,768 --> 00:26:44,938
[* gentle, emotional
music playing]
522
00:26:48,708 --> 00:26:50,676
It is hard not to think
of all the things
523
00:26:50,677 --> 00:26:52,112
we could've done together.
524
00:26:52,645 --> 00:26:55,147
With her whole
criminal network,
525
00:26:55,148 --> 00:26:59,085
can you imagine
the fuck ton of Ballzilla
we could have moved.
526
00:26:59,953 --> 00:27:01,187
Think of the bank.
527
00:27:02,489 --> 00:27:04,724
You really are
your mother's son, huh?
528
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:07,894
It'll be okay, kid.
529
00:27:08,628 --> 00:27:12,065
[* upbeat dance music playing]
530
00:27:20,774 --> 00:27:23,475
Wait, the woman
you told me about
531
00:27:23,476 --> 00:27:26,412
with the, uh,
the rat-mole thing, Rasp?
532
00:27:26,413 --> 00:27:27,980
She's here?
533
00:27:27,981 --> 00:27:29,314
First of all, it's Hasp
534
00:27:29,315 --> 00:27:32,117
and, no, she's
in witness protection.
535
00:27:32,118 --> 00:27:33,952
Also, nobody knows where.
536
00:27:33,953 --> 00:27:35,854
Well, she,
she wanted to kill you,
537
00:27:35,855 --> 00:27:38,257
and she is like some
kind of gangster, right?
538
00:27:38,258 --> 00:27:41,360
Well, yeah, but, you know,
well, we're kinda cool now.
539
00:27:41,361 --> 00:27:42,561
No big deal.
540
00:27:42,562 --> 00:27:45,964
Uh, she recently asked me
to follow her Finsta account.
541
00:27:45,965 --> 00:27:47,900
Not bragging,
it's just a fact.
542
00:27:47,901 --> 00:27:49,935
I didn't do it.
It seemed kinda weird.
543
00:27:49,936 --> 00:27:52,805
She only posts these,
like, uh, baking photos.
544
00:27:52,806 --> 00:27:55,442
It would totally
fuck up my algo.
545
00:27:58,378 --> 00:28:00,246
Ma'am, how many
of those have you had?
546
00:28:01,314 --> 00:28:02,448
I'm trying to get
loosened up.
547
00:28:02,449 --> 00:28:03,916
There's this really hot guy
548
00:28:03,917 --> 00:28:05,951
who says he is gonna
shuck my shell
549
00:28:05,952 --> 00:28:08,287
- and slurp me down raw.
- Whoa, whoa.
550
00:28:08,288 --> 00:28:10,323
Are you about
to go full oyster?
551
00:28:10,590 --> 00:28:12,991
Okay, you do you.
552
00:28:12,992 --> 00:28:16,428
Boss, might I go have
a little cigarette break?
553
00:28:16,429 --> 00:28:17,863
Didn't you just go
for a break?
554
00:28:17,864 --> 00:28:18,964
Uh, it's a funny story.
555
00:28:18,965 --> 00:28:21,433
So that was like
a drinking break,
556
00:28:21,434 --> 00:28:23,903
but this is gonna be
more a vape.
557
00:28:24,204 --> 00:28:25,437
- [laughs] Okay.
- I might,
558
00:28:25,438 --> 00:28:27,207
I might do
a little drinking.
559
00:28:27,574 --> 00:28:29,109
Full slurp, huh?
560
00:28:30,110 --> 00:28:31,878
♪
561
00:28:32,145 --> 00:28:33,912
- Ah, gentlemen.
- Hey!
562
00:28:33,913 --> 00:28:37,117
[* suspenseful music playing]
563
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,864
Mmm.
[sucking through lips]
564
00:28:51,131 --> 00:28:52,297
[sighs]
565
00:28:52,298 --> 00:28:54,000
[clicks tongue]
566
00:28:54,534 --> 00:28:57,971
[* faint upbeat music playing]
567
00:29:00,874 --> 00:29:04,044
[* suspenseful music playing]
568
00:29:04,344 --> 00:29:05,512
Hmm.
569
00:29:06,012 --> 00:29:07,847
[fake Tolocci grunts]
570
00:29:11,851 --> 00:29:15,121
Amateur hour. [scoffs]
571
00:29:16,990 --> 00:29:19,391
[* electronic
dance music playing]
572
00:29:19,392 --> 00:29:21,227
Let's get out of here, Alex.
573
00:29:24,130 --> 00:29:28,134
Hey, what happened to
no oyster left behind?
574
00:29:28,501 --> 00:29:31,504
[fireworks whistling]
575
00:29:31,671 --> 00:29:33,906
[fireworks booming]
576
00:29:33,907 --> 00:29:35,541
No, no.
This is not the plan!
577
00:29:35,542 --> 00:29:39,545
Fireworks are for when
we leave on the boat! No!
578
00:29:39,546 --> 00:29:42,282
[fireworks booming,
guests cheering]
579
00:29:44,484 --> 00:29:45,518
[Charlie exclaims]
580
00:29:45,819 --> 00:29:47,853
[Victoria] I begged you
not to humiliate me
581
00:29:47,854 --> 00:29:49,121
in front of my parents!
582
00:29:49,122 --> 00:29:51,957
I even let you pick
your stupid fuckin' soda.
583
00:29:51,958 --> 00:29:54,493
Why are you
ruining this for me?
584
00:29:54,494 --> 00:29:56,195
[sucks lips]
585
00:29:56,196 --> 00:29:58,231
[Victoria screaming]
586
00:29:59,332 --> 00:30:02,335
[Victoria sobbing]
587
00:30:04,037 --> 00:30:06,072
[gasping]
588
00:30:06,506 --> 00:30:08,942
I didn't do it!
I didn't do it!
589
00:30:11,411 --> 00:30:13,013
[water splashing]
590
00:30:13,413 --> 00:30:14,614
[Charlie]
That's true.
591
00:30:21,588 --> 00:30:23,589
[* suspenseful music playing]
592
00:30:23,590 --> 00:30:25,090
[agent] [on radio]
Hasp's son is dead.
593
00:30:25,091 --> 00:30:26,893
Murder suspect
is on the loose.
594
00:30:27,761 --> 00:30:30,329
She was alone on a boat
holding an oyster knife,
595
00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:32,498
covered in blood,
standing over a body
596
00:30:32,499 --> 00:30:34,900
that had been
stabbed to death
with an oyster knife.
597
00:30:34,901 --> 00:30:36,502
Yes, yes, I know
it sounds crazy,
598
00:30:36,503 --> 00:30:37,636
but she's telling
the truth, okay.
599
00:30:37,637 --> 00:30:39,538
- She didn't do it.
- I want to believe you.
600
00:30:39,539 --> 00:30:42,074
But what about
everyone else?
601
00:30:42,075 --> 00:30:43,942
What about Beatrix?
602
00:30:43,943 --> 00:30:47,379
Even in WITSEC, she still
has powerful connections.
603
00:30:47,380 --> 00:30:50,349
So, uh, what are you saying?
604
00:30:50,350 --> 00:30:52,451
The best thing
for your friend
605
00:30:52,452 --> 00:30:55,521
is if we find her
before the mob does.
606
00:30:55,522 --> 00:30:58,390
So if I bring Alex in,
607
00:30:58,391 --> 00:31:01,060
you guarantee that
you can keep her safe?
608
00:31:01,061 --> 00:31:02,395
Yes.
609
00:31:04,531 --> 00:31:05,664
Okay, I'll help you.
610
00:31:05,665 --> 00:31:07,334
[Luca]
Thank you, Charlie.
611
00:31:07,767 --> 00:31:09,368
Can I talk to you
for a second?
612
00:31:09,369 --> 00:31:11,003
Yeah. Have we
called her back?
613
00:31:11,004 --> 00:31:12,237
Yeah, yeah. Um...
614
00:31:12,238 --> 00:31:14,440
[whispering]
...we can't guarantee
that girl's safety.
615
00:31:14,441 --> 00:31:16,141
I mean, every gangster
from North America's
616
00:31:16,142 --> 00:31:17,142
going to be looking for her.
617
00:31:17,143 --> 00:31:20,079
I know that, but we need
to bring her in anyway,
618
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:21,114
no matter the risk.
619
00:31:21,448 --> 00:31:23,382
Ah, you were lying.
620
00:31:23,383 --> 00:31:25,384
Smart. You fooled me.
621
00:31:25,385 --> 00:31:26,485
Thank you.
622
00:31:26,486 --> 00:31:28,087
Okay. Uh...
623
00:31:28,088 --> 00:31:30,090
Shit!
624
00:31:30,724 --> 00:31:34,094
[* suspenseful music playing]
625
00:31:41,568 --> 00:31:44,036
- [radio crackles]
- [dispatch] [on radio]
All units, be on the lookout
626
00:31:44,037 --> 00:31:47,573
for a Caucasian woman,
mid 30s, with red hair
627
00:31:47,574 --> 00:31:49,441
dressed like
Steamboat Willie.
628
00:31:49,442 --> 00:31:51,311
Last known location,
banquet hall.
629
00:31:51,811 --> 00:31:55,081
[* foreboding music playing]
630
00:31:59,419 --> 00:32:01,186
Ah, fuck.
631
00:32:01,187 --> 00:32:03,523
[sighs] Oh, really?
632
00:32:03,723 --> 00:32:07,594
Okay, manifest, Alex.
Manifest.
633
00:32:07,861 --> 00:32:09,261
Jesus.
634
00:32:09,262 --> 00:32:10,429
Manifest?
635
00:32:10,430 --> 00:32:12,665
[* tense music playing]
636
00:32:17,370 --> 00:32:19,472
- [both gasping]
- What the...
637
00:32:19,939 --> 00:32:22,074
God, maybe this shit
really does work.
638
00:32:22,075 --> 00:32:24,510
I didn't do it!
I didn't kill him.
I could never.
639
00:32:24,511 --> 00:32:28,247
I know, honey.
But really, it really does
look like you did do it, so.
640
00:32:28,248 --> 00:32:31,183
The groom was already dead
when I went in the boat house.
641
00:32:31,184 --> 00:32:32,252
It was horrible.
642
00:32:32,619 --> 00:32:34,787
And then, I guess
I must've passed out
643
00:32:34,788 --> 00:32:36,555
because next thing
I remember,
644
00:32:36,556 --> 00:32:38,724
I wake up with
a bloody knife in my hand.
645
00:32:38,725 --> 00:32:41,560
Okay, okay. I know that
you're telling the truth.
646
00:32:41,561 --> 00:32:43,495
But look, you got
several mob conglomerates,
647
00:32:43,496 --> 00:32:45,531
the entire FBI convinced
you did kill him,
648
00:32:45,532 --> 00:32:47,232
so I'm kind of outranked here.
649
00:32:47,233 --> 00:32:48,667
And anyway,
650
00:32:48,668 --> 00:32:52,038
if you didn't kill him,
who did?
651
00:32:54,574 --> 00:32:57,710
Wait, I think I know
how we get out of here.
652
00:32:57,711 --> 00:32:59,579
Guess what else they keep
in the boathouse.
653
00:32:59,946 --> 00:33:01,213
- Boats.
- Yes!
654
00:33:01,214 --> 00:33:02,514
Okay, so if only
we just had
655
00:33:02,515 --> 00:33:05,151
some way of sneaking out
without being spotted.
656
00:33:07,654 --> 00:33:09,822
[* suspenseful music playing]
657
00:33:09,823 --> 00:33:11,457
I can't believe
you dragged us
658
00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:12,991
into this stupid
fuckin' boondoggle.
659
00:33:12,992 --> 00:33:15,361
You know what, Annie,
you want to be helpful?
Go check our deep sources.
660
00:33:15,362 --> 00:33:17,363
I want to know if there's
any chatter about the killing.
661
00:33:17,364 --> 00:33:19,498
Chatter, why would
there be chatter
662
00:33:19,499 --> 00:33:23,435
about some random
oyster shucker?
663
00:33:23,436 --> 00:33:26,772
Almost everything tells me
the oyster shucker did it,
but one thing doesn't
664
00:33:26,773 --> 00:33:29,274
and I've kind of learned
to listen to her.
665
00:33:29,275 --> 00:33:31,110
- Go now!
- Okay. Okay.
666
00:33:31,111 --> 00:33:33,645
Go check on
some fuckin' oysters!
667
00:33:33,646 --> 00:33:35,115
[Luca] [quietly]
Fuck.
668
00:33:35,815 --> 00:33:37,684
Don't take it personally.
669
00:33:38,184 --> 00:33:40,320
Wendy filed
for divorce last week.
670
00:33:41,354 --> 00:33:42,756
Oh, that's a shame.
671
00:33:43,757 --> 00:33:45,091
Yeah.
672
00:33:45,592 --> 00:33:48,695
That said, you did kinda
blow it on this one.
673
00:33:50,397 --> 00:33:51,430
Well, thanks, Radquist.
674
00:33:51,431 --> 00:33:54,834
[* gentle music playing]
675
00:34:00,306 --> 00:34:01,841
[sighs]
676
00:34:08,715 --> 00:34:11,317
[* suspenseful music playing]
677
00:34:12,452 --> 00:34:13,585
[Charlie] Aw, jeez.
678
00:34:13,586 --> 00:34:16,155
- Ay, caramba.
- [Alex] We made it.
679
00:34:16,156 --> 00:34:18,557
- In there.
We'll take that canoe.
- Oh, fuck.
680
00:34:18,558 --> 00:34:20,826
Huh? Do you even know
how to drive that thing?
681
00:34:20,827 --> 00:34:23,662
Eh, they practically
drive themselves.
682
00:34:23,663 --> 00:34:25,598
I'm not sure that's true.
683
00:34:26,399 --> 00:34:27,833
[rope whizzing]
684
00:34:27,834 --> 00:34:29,736
- [water splashes]
- Oh!
685
00:34:31,905 --> 00:34:34,573
[* suspenseful music playing]
686
00:34:34,574 --> 00:34:37,576
Oh, shit,
the two drunk guys.
687
00:34:37,577 --> 00:34:39,912
So one of them was the groom
688
00:34:39,913 --> 00:34:42,482
and the other,
he must have been the killer.
689
00:34:42,849 --> 00:34:45,118
One of the groomsmen
did it?
690
00:34:46,486 --> 00:34:47,586
[Alex gasps]
691
00:34:47,587 --> 00:34:50,856
Oh, I spy a fake eye.
Yes, I do.
692
00:34:50,857 --> 00:34:52,791
- Hot Toddy.
- [Charlie] Who?
693
00:34:52,792 --> 00:34:54,626
The hot guy with the eye.
694
00:34:54,627 --> 00:34:57,763
Well, someone pretending
to be Hot Toddy.
695
00:34:57,764 --> 00:35:00,265
You know, in order to sneak
into the wedding undetected.
696
00:35:00,266 --> 00:35:01,467
That's very elaborate.
697
00:35:01,468 --> 00:35:03,569
Indeed.
Clearly a professional.
698
00:35:03,570 --> 00:35:06,773
[* dramatic music playing]
699
00:35:13,847 --> 00:35:15,915
Oh, for fuck's sake,
Charlie.
700
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:21,787
- [Luca] Charlie!
- What?
701
00:35:21,788 --> 00:35:22,688
[Luca]
This is ridiculous.
702
00:35:22,689 --> 00:35:24,757
Can you please just
turn yourselves in
703
00:35:24,758 --> 00:35:26,959
so I don't have
to get my shoes wet?
704
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,895
Look, there's
a professional hitman here.
705
00:35:29,896 --> 00:35:32,631
He killed the groom
and then he set up Alex,
706
00:35:32,632 --> 00:35:34,500
and now
she's a loose end.
707
00:35:34,501 --> 00:35:35,734
If what you're saying is true,
708
00:35:35,735 --> 00:35:37,269
we can find out
who the assassin is.
709
00:35:37,270 --> 00:35:40,539
- We can protect her.
- Uh ho ho, bullshit.
710
00:35:40,540 --> 00:35:42,408
We can at least
try to protect her!
711
00:35:42,409 --> 00:35:45,611
Word is already out
to the Five Families
about Hasp's son.
712
00:35:45,612 --> 00:35:47,746
There are goons
mobilizing coast to coast.
713
00:35:47,747 --> 00:35:49,948
They all think
when Hasp testifies,
714
00:35:49,949 --> 00:35:52,952
she'll go easy on whoever
whacks her son's killer.
715
00:35:53,153 --> 00:35:56,388
Who... what are you going to do?
Canoe your way to safety?
716
00:35:56,389 --> 00:35:58,324
You can't... Shit.
717
00:35:58,658 --> 00:35:59,926
[Charlie]
I trusted you.
718
00:36:00,727 --> 00:36:02,494
Row, Alex, row!
719
00:36:02,495 --> 00:36:04,230
Row the little boat.
720
00:36:05,031 --> 00:36:06,299
Fuck!
721
00:36:11,905 --> 00:36:13,573
Fuck. Fuck!
722
00:36:15,308 --> 00:36:16,376
Go!
723
00:36:19,913 --> 00:36:22,949
- [engine revving]
- [tires squealing]
724
00:36:25,785 --> 00:36:29,456
[* dramatic music playing]
725
00:36:30,023 --> 00:36:32,491
[engine roaring]
726
00:36:32,492 --> 00:36:33,992
Manifest, baby!
727
00:36:33,993 --> 00:36:35,495
[guard] Oh, shit!
728
00:36:35,962 --> 00:36:37,997
[gate crashing]
729
00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:43,370
- [boat horn blaring]
- [sighs]
730
00:36:46,306 --> 00:36:48,807
Sorry, ma'am, I take
full responsibility.
731
00:36:48,808 --> 00:36:50,844
[Darville]
Oh, yeah, you'll take
full responsibility.
732
00:36:51,111 --> 00:36:53,579
You are one fuckin' sorry
excuse for a federal agent.
733
00:36:53,580 --> 00:36:55,614
How did a fuckin'
pinhead baby like you
734
00:36:55,615 --> 00:36:57,784
even get promoted
in the first place?
735
00:36:58,018 --> 00:37:00,353
I'm so sick of this
sensitivity shit.
736
00:37:01,488 --> 00:37:03,789
It is good to have
you back, ma'am.
737
00:37:03,790 --> 00:37:06,026
[boat horn blaring]
738
00:37:06,659 --> 00:37:07,961
Really?
739
00:37:08,995 --> 00:37:12,398
[car engine rumbling]
740
00:37:12,399 --> 00:37:16,635
I just wanted to make
$7,000 shucking oysters
741
00:37:16,636 --> 00:37:19,538
so I could finally make
a dent in my student loans.
742
00:37:19,539 --> 00:37:22,742
And, you know,
I've never even seen
a dead body before.
743
00:37:23,109 --> 00:37:25,010
And now I'm being
chased by the FBI.
744
00:37:25,011 --> 00:37:28,047
I'm being hunted by a hitman
and a whole mafia.
745
00:37:28,048 --> 00:37:29,214
Several mafias, actually.
746
00:37:29,215 --> 00:37:32,084
It's a... Well, it's kind of
a national consortium of--
747
00:37:32,085 --> 00:37:33,519
How am I going
to get out of this?
748
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,387
I don't know,
I'm thinking, you know?
749
00:37:35,388 --> 00:37:38,791
I'm dead.
I'm a dead woman walking.
750
00:37:38,792 --> 00:37:41,660
Well, I mean,
there is one person,
751
00:37:41,661 --> 00:37:43,562
one person who knows
how to deal with the mafia,
752
00:37:43,563 --> 00:37:46,398
the FBI,
and professional killers.
753
00:37:46,399 --> 00:37:47,467
Who?
754
00:37:49,002 --> 00:37:50,370
Beatrix Hasp.
755
00:37:51,037 --> 00:37:51,870
The mob boss?
756
00:37:51,871 --> 00:37:53,772
- Yes.
- [Alex] Who tried to kill you.
757
00:37:53,773 --> 00:37:54,973
- Okay.
- Who is also
758
00:37:54,974 --> 00:37:57,509
the mother of the man
I supposedly killed.
759
00:37:57,510 --> 00:37:58,677
I wouldn't really
lead with that.
760
00:37:58,678 --> 00:38:00,846
Am I supposed to go
up to her and say,
761
00:38:00,847 --> 00:38:02,514
"Hi, you probably
saw a video of me
762
00:38:02,515 --> 00:38:04,016
"covered in your son's blood.
763
00:38:04,017 --> 00:38:05,584
Would you mind
helping me out?"
764
00:38:05,585 --> 00:38:06,752
Yes, yes, I don't know.
765
00:38:06,753 --> 00:38:09,521
I mean, like, look, there's,
there's exactly one person
766
00:38:09,522 --> 00:38:11,657
in the whole world
who Beatrix trusts, okay.
767
00:38:11,658 --> 00:38:14,427
And you happened
to have picked her
as your shucking partner, so...
768
00:38:15,462 --> 00:38:16,662
Why would she trust you?
769
00:38:16,663 --> 00:38:18,997
Well, I mean, she knows about
my whole lie detector thing.
770
00:38:18,998 --> 00:38:21,400
She's seen it work under some
pretty extreme circumstances,
771
00:38:21,401 --> 00:38:24,503
and I guess I think
that, well, yeah,
772
00:38:24,504 --> 00:38:25,437
she'd want to find
the real killer
773
00:38:25,438 --> 00:38:28,140
more than she'd want
to see you whacked.
774
00:38:28,141 --> 00:38:30,876
Okay. Okay,
how, how do we find her?
775
00:38:30,877 --> 00:38:33,479
We can't. Well, nobody can.
776
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,416
She's in witness protection,
so, shit.
777
00:38:36,649 --> 00:38:39,485
Do you have any form
of contact with her at all?
778
00:38:39,486 --> 00:38:41,054
- No.
- Think!
779
00:38:43,623 --> 00:38:44,723
[gasps]
780
00:38:44,724 --> 00:38:47,427
[brakes squealing]
781
00:38:47,827 --> 00:38:49,129
Her Finsta.
782
00:38:51,464 --> 00:38:54,633
[Alex] God, it really is
nothing but baked goods.
783
00:38:54,634 --> 00:38:56,702
Wait, can you
send her a message?
784
00:38:56,703 --> 00:38:58,405
Yeah. No.
785
00:38:58,838 --> 00:39:01,073
What? I'm her only follower.
She doesn't follow me back?
786
00:39:01,074 --> 00:39:03,509
- What the fuck, Bea?
- How do we find this lady?
787
00:39:03,510 --> 00:39:05,578
All we have to go on
are cookie photos.
788
00:39:05,945 --> 00:39:11,084
Well, cookie photos
and, uh, everything
in the background.
789
00:39:17,757 --> 00:39:20,659
Look, that's a junk mail,
a political flyer.
790
00:39:20,660 --> 00:39:23,195
I mean, even witness protection
can't get you away from that.
791
00:39:23,196 --> 00:39:24,263
Can you read anything on it?
792
00:39:24,264 --> 00:39:27,633
Well, it's, uh, just
the top line of the address,
793
00:39:27,634 --> 00:39:29,468
42 Ashford Place.
794
00:39:29,469 --> 00:39:31,470
Yeah, that doesn't
really narrow it down.
795
00:39:31,471 --> 00:39:32,972
This is a nightmare.
796
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:36,442
Yeah. We need,
we need a, we need a city.
797
00:39:36,443 --> 00:39:38,143
There's nothing else
on the flyer?
798
00:39:38,144 --> 00:39:40,479
Well, just... Wait.
799
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,648
[* tense music playing]
800
00:39:42,649 --> 00:39:44,883
- Ha!
- [Alex] S-search it.
Image search it!
801
00:39:44,884 --> 00:39:46,985
- Reverse image search it.
- Yes, yes. I'm on it.
802
00:39:46,986 --> 00:39:49,622
[* suspenseful music playing]
803
00:39:51,558 --> 00:39:52,825
[Alex]
Greenville, Indiana.
804
00:39:52,826 --> 00:39:53,959
It's a 10-hour drive.
805
00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:55,694
Jesus Christ,
look at this.
806
00:39:55,695 --> 00:39:58,130
Look at this.
Half of my feed is
already baking videos.
807
00:39:58,131 --> 00:40:00,133
Okay, fuck this.
Let's roll.
808
00:40:00,467 --> 00:40:03,203
- [engine rumbling]
- [* suspenseful music playing]
809
00:40:05,638 --> 00:40:08,674
- [phone ringing]
- [agents chattering]
810
00:40:08,675 --> 00:40:10,676
[Milligan] Okay, so I checked
our deep cover sources,
811
00:40:10,677 --> 00:40:13,078
even though I thought
it was fuckin' stupid.
812
00:40:13,079 --> 00:40:14,213
And actually,
813
00:40:14,214 --> 00:40:16,950
there has been chatter
about an assassin on this job.
814
00:40:17,217 --> 00:40:19,084
Chatter? What chatter?
815
00:40:19,085 --> 00:40:20,853
Just one word.
816
00:40:20,854 --> 00:40:22,756
I don't know
what it means.
817
00:40:24,124 --> 00:40:25,625
Iguana.
818
00:40:27,794 --> 00:40:30,129
Iguana? Are you sure?
819
00:40:30,130 --> 00:40:33,599
Yes, ma'am.
What's... Iguana?
820
00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:37,169
[Luca]
Well, Iguana
is the code name
821
00:40:37,170 --> 00:40:40,839
of the most dangerous,
deadly hitman in the world.
822
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,510
A total ghost. No photos.
No information.
823
00:40:44,144 --> 00:40:46,278
This is the first confirmation
we have that he's even a he.
824
00:40:46,279 --> 00:40:47,914
Able to strike anywhere...
825
00:40:48,648 --> 00:40:52,217
get to anyone,
and leave zero trace.
826
00:40:52,218 --> 00:40:53,619
[Darville scoffs]
827
00:40:53,620 --> 00:40:55,688
But Iguana is
a made-up story
828
00:40:55,689 --> 00:40:57,856
that FBI agents
tell new recruits
829
00:40:57,857 --> 00:40:59,059
to give them nightmares.
830
00:40:59,626 --> 00:41:03,796
If someone hired the Iguana,
this was not about killing
831
00:41:03,797 --> 00:41:07,733
a multi-level marketing
energy drink entrepreneur.
832
00:41:07,734 --> 00:41:10,203
And if Charlie and Alex
are still alive...
833
00:41:11,604 --> 00:41:13,972
it's because the Iguana
wants them that way.
834
00:41:13,973 --> 00:41:17,109
[* dramatic music playing]
835
00:41:17,110 --> 00:41:19,546
Charlie Cale is
leading the Iguana
836
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:22,515
straight to Beatrix Hasp...
837
00:41:24,584 --> 00:41:26,118
and it's going to be
a blood bath.
838
00:41:26,119 --> 00:41:28,153
[* dramatic music swells]
839
00:41:28,154 --> 00:41:30,556
[car engine rumbling]
840
00:41:30,557 --> 00:41:33,960
[* solemn,
spiritual music playing]
841
00:41:36,262 --> 00:41:40,232
♪ Early one morning ♪
842
00:41:40,233 --> 00:41:43,102
♪ Death come a-knocking
at your door ♪
843
00:41:43,103 --> 00:41:44,203
[grunts]
844
00:41:44,204 --> 00:41:47,840
♪ Early one morning ♪
845
00:41:47,841 --> 00:41:50,809
♪ Death come a-knocking
at your door ♪
846
00:41:50,810 --> 00:41:55,581
♪ I said, early one morning ♪
847
00:41:55,582 --> 00:41:58,584
♪ Death come a-knocking
at your door ♪
848
00:41:58,585 --> 00:42:01,687
♪ Oh, my Lord,
oh, my Lord ♪
849
00:42:01,688 --> 00:42:04,957
♪ What shall I do
to be saved ♪
850
00:42:04,958 --> 00:42:06,058
[camera shutter clicks]
851
00:42:06,059 --> 00:42:07,126
[grunts]
852
00:42:07,127 --> 00:42:10,597
♪ Early one morning ♪
853
00:42:10,864 --> 00:42:14,733
♪ Death come a-creeping
in your room ♪
854
00:42:14,734 --> 00:42:18,604
♪ Early one morning ♪
855
00:42:18,605 --> 00:42:21,373
♪ Death come a-creeping
in your room ♪
856
00:42:21,374 --> 00:42:26,178
♪ And I cried,
early one morning ♪
857
00:42:26,179 --> 00:42:29,114
♪ Death come a-creeping
in your room ♪
858
00:42:29,115 --> 00:42:32,718
♪ Oh, my Lord,
oh, my Lord ♪
859
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:36,755
♪ What shall I do
to be saved ♪
860
00:42:36,756 --> 00:42:38,024
[grunts]
861
00:42:38,358 --> 00:42:42,194
♪ Early one evening ♪
862
00:42:42,195 --> 00:42:46,098
♪ Death come a-knocking
at your door ♪
863
00:42:46,099 --> 00:42:49,802
♪ Early one evening ♪
864
00:42:49,803 --> 00:42:52,871
♪ Death come a-knocking
at your door ♪
865
00:42:52,872 --> 00:42:57,276
♪ I said, early one evening ♪
866
00:42:57,277 --> 00:43:00,179
♪ Death come a-knocking
at your door ♪
867
00:43:00,180 --> 00:43:03,415
♪ Oh, my Lord,
oh, my Lord ♪
868
00:43:03,416 --> 00:43:09,122
♪ What shall I do
to be saved ♪
58330
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