All language subtitles for lost_in_space_s02e21_rocket_to_earth

Last week, as you recall, we left Will
Penny and Dr. Smith contentedly playing

baseball, unaware that an incredible
alien magician was about to join their

innocent game.

Abracadabra, alakazam.

Bibbidi -bibbidi -bim -boom -bam.

Go away, sir.

Please go away. Oh, go away, please.

Won't you go away? Please. Oh, dear,
sir.

Dr.

Smith, what's wrong? Are you all right?

It materialized right in front of me.

A terrible, horrible creature with an
egg.

Now get a hold of yourself and tell us
what happened.

My heart simply cannot endure any more
of these traumatic experiences.

It's not beating.

I can't feel it.

There it is.

You mentioned an alien being, Dr. Smith.
My sensors can detect nothing but the

presence of ourselves.

Then your sensors are wrong as usual. I
tell you, there was a monster right

here, and it caught them all.

Maybe you just imagined it.

Yes, your eyesight leaves much to be
desired.

You cannot tell a ball from a strike.

I have 20 -20 vision. I tell you that
creature materialized right in front of

me.

He's back.

I don't see anyone.

Neither do I.

Are you both blind?

He's sitting right next to me.

And he's carrying a ridiculous
ventriloquist dummy.

I think you've been playing baseball in
the hot sun too long, Dr. Smith. There's

absolutely nothing wrong with me. I
could see this dreadful creature and

horrible little doll just as plain as
the nose on your face.

Honest, there's no one here but
ourselves.

There is, there is, there is.

I'm in full possession of my mental
faculties, and I can prove it.

10, 9, 8, 4, 7, 20, 46, 20. My name is
Dr. Zachary. No, no, my name is Dr.

Doctor. Oh, good heavens! My name is Dr.
Zachary Smith. That's what my name is.

My age is over 21, but barely. My height
is 175 pounds, and my weight is 5 foot

11.

Never mind, Dr. Smith. It's easy enough
to find out if there's anyone else here

but ourselves.

We'll just ask the robot.

Of course. Why didn't we think of that
before?

Robot, is anyone else present besides
ourselves?

I do not see, hear, or smell anything.

You heard the robot, Dr. Smith.

The creature did it. He did something to
the robot. I saw him. A kind of spell

or some kind of magic.

There's really no one here, Dr. Smith.

No one but us chickens.

The dummy is talking to me. I won't
look.

Goodbye, Dr. Smith, but not for long.

You're not yourself, Dr. Smith.

Let us take you back to the spaceship.

Yes, please do.

I am not a well man.

I am not at all well.

Take it easy, Dr. Smith.

I'm a very sick man.

Not only is my back extremely delicate,
but my eyes seem to be playing tricks on

me lately, Doctor.

Oh, heavens.

I'm the doctor. Am I not the doctor?

Where's the doctor? Am I the doctor? Or
are you the doctor? I don't know. I'm

the doctor. I feel...

What about the cooling system?

Let's check that.

All right.

Okay, okay.

Aha! Oh, my goodness, I didn't expect
you back this early. I don't have dinner

started. Oh, that's a fine thing. Here
we've been toiling in the vineyards of

space and no hot meal to come home to.
Oh, and they say a man's spaceship is

castle. Listen, if you have any
complaints about the housewives' union,

it in writing, in triplicate.

All right, all right, you win.

Say, how's Dr. Smith?

Not very well. I just left him.

Is he still seeing things?

Not anymore.

He has his eyes shut.

Well, as far as I'm concerned, he's
always had his eyes shut.

Oh, he really is in bad shape, Don.
Well, there is one way to tell if he's

really ill.

Did he eat his lunch?

Double portions.

Well, then that proves that my medical
diagnosis is correct. There's nothing

wrong with Dr. Smith.

You know, I've always known that Smith
would flip his wig.

But, you know, it might be an
improvement.

Well, you shouldn't joke about it, Don.

I tell you what I'll do. I'll go down
and cheer him up.

All right, you do that.

Will's keeping him company now. Okay.

I'll just finish this.

No, no, no, no, no.

You do dinner.

I'll finish it. All right, there you
are.

I'll help you.

Dear, I'm not well, not well.

William, would you be good enough to
give me a bit of fruit juice, please?

Sure, Dr. Smith.

Dr. Smith, you can't lock yourself up in
here forever.

You've got to take off those blackout
glasses sooner or later. Never.

As long as I can't see anything, I'm
quite safe.

Maybe you were just having
hallucinations.

Hallucinations, indeed. I'm a practical,
realistic man.

Seeing is believing.

Oh, no, I wouldn't say that, Smith. I
see you, but I don't believe it. Go

Major, you irk me.

Oh, there, there, there. Now calm
yourself. What's wrong here? Oh, my

rapid.

Breathing, shallow. It's a classic
example, William.

He's nuttier than a fruitcake.

I order you to leave my quarters
immediately.

He really doesn't feel too good, Don.

No, I'm sorry, Smith. I don't mean to
upset you. Why don't you take those

glasses off and tell me what this is all
about?

Here, let me.

No, no, get away. Don't touch me.

These glasses are my only protection.

Don was only trying to help you.

The best way he can do that is to leave
me alone.

Oh, everybody go.

Leave me alone in my misery.

Okay, Smith, suit yourself.

Dr. Smith, if there's anything you need,
just call me.

I'm imagining things.

I'd better put my glasses back on.

It's too late.

Too late.

You can't shut me up. I'm not here.

I'm a figment of your imagination.

He's suffering from space fatigue.

I've seen it a hundred times.

Yes. Yes, space fatigue. That's exactly
what it is.

It is space fatigue, but only a slight
case.

It happens to all sensitive, highly
intelligent individuals.

Flip, flip.

And they have hat.

Flip, flip. That's right.

Flip, flip.

Oh, pity. So young, so honest, so brave.
So true, so

true. Whatever shall I do?

Wicked hat.

the walls and put in a barn door.

Then you wouldn't hurt yourself.

How sad.

How tragic.

And so young, too.

So young.

Not so young.

Not so young.

Shall we leave him alone?

Why not?

We can always come back.

Mr. Zalto?

Mr.

Zalto? Oh, dear.

I know you're there, Mr. Zalto.

I know you're there.

You're a very nice person, Mr. Zalto.

And so is your friend.

But I'm a very nice person too, Mr.
Zalto, when you get to know me.

how we keep that chariot going.

Makeshift parts, diluted fuel, rerouted
wiring.

And an awful lot of luck. But cheer up,
old boy. The new model's on the market

and first thing in the morning we can
take the old buggy down to our friendly

chariot dealer and trade her in for a
new one. Now, is that a cash or a credit

deal? Okay, so we keep the old chariot.

Professor. It's you again, huh, Smith?

Professor Robinson.

Is there something I can do for you?

I'm in desperate need of psychiatric
treatment.

My mental condition is deteriorating
rapidly.

Are you still seeing that alien and his
little dummy?

Not today, but I know they're still with
me.

Personally, I don't believe you're
having a breakdown.

There's a logical explanation for
everything that's happening.

There sure is. You're not going crazy,
Smith. You're already there.

For shame, Major.

Making sport of the sick and the
helpless.

But it only proves what I've always
said. You're a cold, cruel man.

Now, now, Doctor. Can't you see he's
just joking?

Smith, listen. If you really want some
help, I know something you should do.

I would accept any logical suggestion.

Great. Here.

They say hard work is a cure for all
ills, Smith.

I'm only mentally disturbed, Major, not
completely balmy.

Well, there's one area he's behaving
normally.

Yeah, he's crazy, all right. Crazy like
a fox.

Hi, Dr. Smith.

We're going to cheer you up. With clever
conversation and witty sayings. Oh, go

away and leave me alone in my misery.

I guess you're right. There's nothing we
can do for him. One moment, Will

Robinson. I have a poem which should
raise Dr. Smith's spirits.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty was two inches tall.

He fell down and broke his shell.

Poor little egg. I wish him well.

I think I'm going to be violently ill.

Come on, Dr. Smith. Where's your sense
of humor?

Personally, I thought my poem very
amusing.

It is an original creation.

Is it indeed? I could have sworn it was
Shakespeare.

Forgive me, William.

I'm not fit company for man or beast.

That's all right, Dr. Smith. Everything
will be okay soon.

Oh, no, William.

This time, Zachary Smith has reached the
breaking point.

They're back again.

They are?

Are you sure?

I don't see anything.

Only because you're not cracking up,
William.

Now you see us. Now you don't.

Are they still here?

They've gone.

I have an opinion to express.

Spare me your opinion if that poem was
quite enough. I'm barely hinging on

Saturday now. This concerns the alien
and the dummy. They are not a figment of

Dr. Smith's imagination.

They exist.

What? When we asked you before, you said
that they didn't. What is the meaning

of this?

At that time, I was not functioning
properly.

I could take you to a place where a
satisfactory explanation will be found.

However, I do not advise... Advise my
foot, you presumptuous popinjay!

Lead on!

Very well. We're here. The explanation,
please.

Patience, Dr. Smith.

Red carpet.

It just rolled out by itself.

I think we'd better return to the
spaceship.

I feel perfectly splendid now. We're
going to find out what this is all

In this particular case, blissful
ignorance is preferable.

You want to be cured, don't you? Yes, I
do, I do.

Very well.

Lead on, William.

I knew this was a mistake.

Maybe you're right, Dr. Smith.

Oh, dear.

I don't like caves.

They're dark and mysterious, and they
frighten me.

Oh, but heavens.

What an enormous rock.

This is a rock, isn't it?

Dank and moist.

I'm afraid I shall catch a cold.

Oh, dear.

I'm frightened.

I don't like this place.

I don't like it at all.

Don't try to leave, Dr. Smith.

We love company.

We like it so much, we may never let you
go.

I guess this proves you weren't
imagining things, Dr. Smith.

And for that, I'm tremendously grateful,
William.

But I'm afraid we've solved one problem
and created another.

If you wish to see my master, he's in
the next room.

Thank you for the invitation, your very
kind.

But you see, actually, we have finished
our business here. So if you will be

good enough to open the door.

Only the great Salto can let you out.

Well, don't just stand there. Go on in.

Looks like we're off to find the great
Zalto.

Come on, Dr. Smith.

Oh, dear.

Zalto summons call.

Demand!

The spell isn't working.

sir. Oh, indeed we are.

It's not enough. Not nearly enough. I
shall turn you all into frogs.

Frogs? Oh, you wouldn't do that?

I would. I would. I would. I would. I
like frogs.

Earthlings, earthlings. Go away.

Give me froggy, froggy doodle bees.

Oh,

you want to see my power, do you?

Watch this, Maximilian.

How can a genius function with all this
conversation?

Oh, by the way, how did you like my
limited optical materialization?

Your what?

Appearing to just one person out of a
group.

It can be quite maddening.

Perhaps to a lesser man, but actually I
realized all the time that it was a mere

charlatan's trick.

Dr. Smith.

I do agree with you that as an effect,
it was nothing.

You know, once I froze a whole lake of
water on the hottest day of the year.

It was terrible.

We were stuck in the ice for two days.

How terrible.

Permit me to introduce myself.

I am Dr.

Zachary Smith, and this is my young
friend, Mr. William Robinson.

I never shake.

There's so much power in these hands, I
might accidentally destroy you.

I quite understand.

My master is the great Zalto.

Magic, witchcraft, love potions. I have
conquered them all.

Professor, come with me.

I'm going to show you a little trick of
Legend of Maine.

Legend of Maine, how nice.

It's one of my great interests, you
know.

It is.

Now, you see, I'm going to turn this
blast of liquid into solid gold.

Now, come, come, come, let us go.

Are you ready? Yes.

Just a slight error. A slight error,
Professor.

Be gone!

A slight error. A very, very slight
error.

I know so much magic, it's difficult to
keep track of the formulas.

I see.

Perfectly understandable.

You know, Mr. Souto, I do admire your
establishment. It's really quite

Oh, you do? Yes, I think so. But, you
know, it's only temporary quarters.

I intend to leave this planet there very
soon.

Where are you going?

Where am I going? To proclaim my genius
throughout the galaxy.

My master has been working for ten years
to become the greatest magician in the

galaxy.

And I have succeeded.

Well, you are extremely good at blowing
up things.

Mr. Dalto, tell me what lies behind
there.

Oh, what lies behind there.

Well, I'm glad this lasts.

That happens to be my greatest feat of
magic.

Behold.

Ah, a spaceship.

Yes, a spaceship.

To you it may seem so, but for me it is
the instrument that will put the name of

Salto on the lips of everyone.

What are you going to do with it?

Well, wouldn't you like to know?

Mr. Salto, are you sure that thing is
capable of getting off the ground?

It can go anywhere.

Zoom! Right through the opening up
there.

Could it reach Earth in a matter of
hours?

How interesting.

William, our business here appears to be
finished. I suggest you get back. They

will be worried about you. But, Dr.
Smith, I want to look around.

Mr. Zalto has to practice his magic,
don't you? Run along, dear boy, and take

that one with you. Yes, sir.

Come on, robot.

Aha!

And now to call my spirit.

Long ago and far away.

Mr. Zalto, I've been thinking.

It occurs to me that a man of your
genius must really need an assistant.

I should like to offer my services in
that capacity.

Please, you don't have to carrot the
board.

Indeed I do. I'm highly qualified for
it. I'm intelligent, trustworthy, and I

have a marvelous sense of humor.

Strange. I see none of those qualities.

The doctor is also very good at
stretching the truth.

You make the little joke.

Yes, I did.

Let me assure you, sir, you couldn't
hire a better man.

Let me look at you. Let me look at you,
Dr. Smith.

I shall soon know if you have the true
magician's talent.

This isn't going to hurt, is it? Not a
bit. Not a teeny -weeny bit.

Dr. Smith?

Dr. Smith?

Dr. Smith?

Dr. Smith?

Do you hear me?

Yes, Master.

I hear you.

And I will obey.

I did it.

I did it. Did you hear me? I will obey.

Just one straw pass, out like a light.

Wonderful, Master.

It was nothing really.

I remember the... Last time you tried
that trick on the great monster from the

planet Turon.

I wasn't myself that day. He beat you so
badly, you had to eat nothing but soup

for a week.

I've gotten much better since then.

Now that you've got him asleep, do you
think you can wake him up? Of course.

It's quite simple.

Dr. Smith, wake up.

Wake up.

Master, you should try.

Oh, well, if you insist.

Dr. Smith?

Dr. Smith, come back.

Come back, come back, wherever you are.

Master, it's not working.

It's not working? I know it's not
working, you dummy.

Don't disturb me.

You know I don't remember well when I
get confused. Dr.

Smith?

Dr. Smith?

Dr. Smith?

Come back.

Come back.

No sign of Dr. Smith.

I should never have left him with Mr.
Zalto. Oh, well, it's not your fault,

dear. After all, you're not really to
blame. You had no choice.

I think Donna and I will pay Mr. Zalto a
visit.

That would not be necessary, Professor.

Never hear.

Smith the seer is here.

Boy, am I glad to see you back.

We thought Mr. Zalto had done something
terrible to you. I'm deeply moved by

your concern, my dear, but as you can
plainly see, I am hailed and haughty.

Dr. Smith, what are you doing in that
outfit?

My dear madam.

This is the traditional dress of the
magician's apprentice.

He gave you a job?

Certainly, my boy.

Mr. Zalto said that as soon as he
discovered that I could pilot a

knew that I was exactly right for the
position.

Position? Well, just exactly what I do
this to be.

The usual things, mixing magic potions
and delving into the occult world.

There is also some sort of stunt that
Mr. Zalto would like me to do, but he

hasn't yet told me all the details.

Smith, you've done some pretty strange
things in the past, but this one really

tops them all.

Magic. I knew there would be doubts cast
upon my abilities, so I am prepared to

give a demonstration.

Oh, are you going to do a trick for us,
Dr. Smith? Trick, indeed. That is hardly

the right word for a feat of genius.

Now then, clear the table.

There we are.

Note that the hat is on the table and is
quite obviously empty.

Observe.

Ibity, bibity, ibity, say, ibity,
bibity, vanilla.

Raise the hat, William.

Well, that's all wrong.

But wait a minute, Dr. Smith, I could
use that.

But of course you can.

It was my intention, exactly.

A preliminary trick for the main event.

William, place the hat upon the table.

Now then, ibity, bibity, ibity, say,
ibity, bibity, pistachio.

Raise the hat, William.

Good heavens.

I'm allergic to rabbits.

Take it away.

Take it away.

Things sure are dull with Dr. Smith gone
so much.

True. A little spice makes for an
exciting life.

Where'd you hear that brilliant remark?

It is another one of my creative
efforts.

I have a real talent for poetry.

Do you agree?

It's not too bad, I guess.

Ah, greetings, greetings, my dear young
friend.

The back of my hand to you, you addle
-pated arm of error.

It is so nice to be loved.

I didn't expect to see you back from Mr.
Zalto so soon.

My generous employer has given me the
day off to prepare for my trip.

Trip? Are you going somewhere?

By this time tomorrow, I shall be
hurtling through space a smile on my

thong in my heart.

Mrs. Alto is sending me to a deserted
asteroid.

What for?

Some sort of publicity stunt to
advertise his return.

My censors tell me that Dr.

Smith means what he's said, but has not
said what he means.

For once you have diagnosed the
situation accurately.

I have told the truth, but not all the
truth.

I don't understand.

You will in time, my boy. Now I must
leave.

I have an announcement of the greatest
importance to make to the leaders of the

expedition. Carry on.

Perhaps you didn't understand me.

I said I was going back to Earth.

Home! Sweet, sweet home!

We understood you perfectly.

You intend stealing Mr. Zalto's ship.

No wonder you were so eager to become
his assistant, Smith.

That is the unkindest cut of all.

For the good of our entire intrepid
little band, I propose to take a very

perilous journey through space.

And do I get encouragement? I do not.

I am called a thief.

Well, we appreciate your intentions, Dr.
Smith.

It's your methods we disagree with. To
leave this bleak and unhappy planet, I

would steal a hundred spaceships.

Now, listen.

We all want to go home as badly as you
do. The only difference is we won't

the law to do it. I refuse to discuss
this matter any further.

You are entitled to your opinions. I am
entitled to mine.

And now you must excuse me. I have some
packing to do.

My dear friends, we have tasted the
bitter and the sweet together.

And now the time has come to say
farewell.

It's not going to be the same without
you, Dr. Smith.

Those are also my sentiments.

I shall miss you, dear William.

I shall also miss you, you bubble
-headed booby.

Oh, Dr.

Smith. Don't go.

Stay with us.

We need you.

There, there. Pull yourself together.

We must be brave.

Forgive me for this emotional display,
Dr. Smith.

Good. Goodbye, my friend.

Here.

Blow your bubble.

You really like the robot, don't you,
Dr. Smith?

How can one have affection for an
insensitive machine, William?

That silly, stupid, lovable old ninny.

Dr. Smith, if I weren't so grown up, I
think I might cry.

So would I.

But we're both too adult for that sort
of thing.

Aren't we?

Goodbye, Dr. Smith.

Farewell.

Adieu, sweet prince.

Adieu.

Dr. Smith left yet? No, dear. He's
outside saying goodbye to Will and the

I forgot his journal with all his
scientific research on space floor and

Oh, well, you'd better hurry and give it
to him. I'm sure that all the world is

waiting breathlessly.

We're sure going to miss him.

Affirmative.

Affirmative. Will, has Dr. Smith left
yet?

He's gone, Penny.

But not forgotten.

He forgot his journal with all his
scientific data in it. Let me take it to

Then I can watch him take off.

I don't know.

It's all right, Penny.

Okay. Now we can say goodbye to Dr.
Smith all over again.

I just can't understand that Dr. Smith.
He should have been here by now.

And he has such an honest face.

That's a matter of opinion.

Matter of opinion?

Never judge a book by its cover.

Never judge a book by its cover?

Especially if it's an old edition.

But the older it is, the better it is.
Only if it's a book.

Well, look, he said he was honest,
trustworthy, and had a sense of humor.

Yeah, a practical joker.

Practical joker? Well, he better not be
joking this time, or else. Or else what?

It's a matter of opinion.

Oh, I don't know how we ever got it to
this here. We shouldn't have been here

the first place. I just can't understand
it. Now, we made a right turn at

Jupiter. Now, if we had gone on the
left, Neptune had three rings.

We followed the map, going around toward
the left.

All these problems.

Dr. Smith, he should have been here by
now.

Mr. Zalto!

Ah, Mr. Zalto.

Oh, Dr.

Smith. You're late.

I was beginning to think you changed
your mind.

By no means, my dear sir. I have been
waiting for this opportunity to take

trip for a very long time. Good, good. I
see you brought luggage.

Just a few simple necessities.

Well, I'm all ready to go. Good. Do you
remember your instructions?

Perfectly. I am to get within 500 miles
of the asteroid, and then I am to launch

the rocket in the nose cone of a
spaceship.

Right. And they'll strike the deserted
asteroid, explode, and spell out my name

in flaming letters.

Exactly so.

And then I am to adjust my controls and
return.

Yes, yes. Well, it's getting late. I
think you should board the spaceship.

My dear Mr. Zalto, I cannot tell you how
much I appreciate this opportunity.

It's my pleasure. Enjoy, enjoy. I intend
to. You're very kind. Well, goodbye.

Bon voyage.

Mr. Zalto.

Yes, Dr. Smith.

My suitcase.

Oh, your suitcase.

Thank you.

Goodbye. Bon voyage.

Oh, Dr.

Smith! Yes, Dr.

Smith! Your safety helmet.

My safety helmet. I'm absolutely sure.

Bon voyage.

Goodbye.

Very small.

Happy flight, Pattern.

Where's Dr. Smith?

He's in the spaceship.

I've got to give him his notebook. You
can't go in there. It's too late.

Yeah, but this is important.

I've got to give it to him. Very good.

Very well. If you must, you must. Go
right ahead. My son, be my guest. Thank

you.

Dr. Smith.

I've got to give him his notebook.

Will Robinson is still inside.

Please, it can't fly with the door open.
That does not compute. Open the door.

Will you be quiet?

I did it! I did it! It never does a book
by its cover.

I'm the greatest magician in the whole
game.

Witness your triumph, master.

We shall stay awake to be sure we do not
miss the spectacle.

The Earthman was of little value, but it
is unfortunate the boy will be

destroyed also.

A pity, but he had no right to go aboard
the spaceship.

You are right, master.

I'm right.

Someone get your room back.

Our cause is set, William. There can be
no return.

What about Mom and Dad? They'll be
worried. They won't know what happened

The robot will inform them.

Dr. Smith, I don't want to go to Earth.
William, my dear boy, fate has decreed

that we should make this journey
together.

Now, cheer up. In a very short time, we
shall be home again.

Without the rest of the family, who
cares?

I can assure you they will soon be
joining us.

They will?

Of course.

Once we reach Earth, we will report to
the space exploration authorities the

exact location of the planet where your
family is marooned. A rescue mission

will be sent, and in no time at all, we
will all be united again.

It sure is beautiful out there, isn't
it?

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

For my part, if I never see another
star, I'll have it again as long as I

It will be much too soon.

Now, you know how Will is.

How he has to examine everything new he
sees.

He probably just ran into an unusual
rock formation.

No, something's happened to him. I just
feel it. Mother, I'm sure he's all

right. I'm ready when you are.

Now, don't worry. We're going to find
him. Alert!

Alert! The robot's back.

And Will's not with him. Danger!

Danger!

What happened? A terrible thing has
occurred.

Will Robinson has been trapped in the
spaceship with Dr. Smith. Oh, no.

How did that happen? The magician is
responsible.

He deliberately closed the door. Before
I could stop him, he activated the ship

and launched it into space.

I have failed in my duty to protect my
friends.

What are we going to do?

Mr. Zalto is going to perform a feat of
magic. He's going to bring back Will and

Dr. Smith.

Judy, you stay here and get that force
field going. All right.

Well, I think it's time for more
libation to celebrate Buki.

William, hold it, will you?

Thank you.

There.

Ah, there.

There is nothing like champagne to make
an occasion more festive.

Where did you get it?

Provided with the compliments of Mr.
Dalton.

He produced it by magic. Like your
rabbit trick, huh? The same principle is

involved. Pity I had to leave before I
found out how it works.

How clever.

My dear young friend, I propose a toast
to the new and happy life we shall find

on Earth.

Mr. Sartre's champagne is on a par with
his magic.

House and above.

Champagne always does that to me. I
thought only rabbits did that to you.

Rabbits and champagne and tacitus and
ragweed and face travel.

John Robinson, open that door.

Mrs. Alto?

How dare you? Can't you see I'm asleep?

We've got to talk to you.

Go away. You'll wake me.

This isn't a social call. You come down
from there or I'll... Well, very well.

If you insist.

I just can't seem to get a good night's
rest.

You deliberately trapped my son on your
spaceship.

I want you to bring him back.

I regret the incident, but I cannot
recall the mission.

Its success is too important to me. My
son is the only thing that's important

me. Smith never had any intention of
going near an asteroid. All he wanted

your spaceship.

Look, he's heading straight for Earth.
You must make him return.

I've been tricked.

Tricked by that...

Dr. Smith. He said he was simple,
handsome, honest.

Well, he lied. He lied to me. I have
computed your motives, Mr. Zolto.

They also were not honest.

What do you mean?

Had Dr. Smith followed Mr. Zolto's
orders, he would have been destroyed.

I thought this was some kind of an
advertising stunt.

A most deadly one.

Dr. Smith was supposed to fire two
harmless rockets into the asteroid.

In reality, they are missiles.

Loaded with high explosives.

Not only would the asteroid have been
blown up, but the spaceship as well.

My greatest feat of magic ruined by a
worthless assistant.

Look, I'm not going to argue with you. I
want you to bring my son back and bring

him back now.

There's nothing I can do.

He is once again being dishonest. There
is a method of communications.

A radio.

You blabbermouth. You've got ten seconds
to get that set operational.

Ten seconds?

Now you've got eight.

Eight seconds.

I hope the tubes are in good shape.

Seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

The wavelength has been established.

I don't know if I can make contact with
the spaceship.

You mean nothing can be done?

Wait a minute. There is something that
can be done.

I just can't think of it. It's a moment.

Get out of there, Salto. I'm taking
over.

I want you off this planet by dawn.

Hello. This is John Robinson calling Dr.
Smith.

A whole lifetime of work and practice.
This is John Robinson calling Dr. Smith.

Coiled by a shovel. Come in, Dr. Smith.

This is John Robinson.

Wrong again.

John, keep trying. We've got to contact
them.

This is John Robinson calling Dr.

Smith. Come in, Dr. Smith.

If I'd listened to that gypsy fortune
teller, I never would have taken this

trip. Oh, well.

Now it's back to space side shows.

Planet circuses.

And asteroid crowning fairs.

What is it?

It is time you performed your great
disappearing act.

You know that never worked very well.

Try, master.

Try.

All right, you convince me. I will.

Good luck.

Thanks.

I did it. I did it.

Look at it, William.

Have you ever seen anything more
beautiful?

So, how lovely is thy name.

What's the matter, my boy?

I can't help thinking about Mom and Dad
and the rest of the family.

But I can assure you that they will soon
be with us. Now, you must dismiss the

thought from your mind.

I know, but I just can't.

Really, William, the happiest day of
your life, and you spoil it by thinking

about the past.

Don't you realize that every second we
come closer and closer to home?

Home? We must surely be close enough now
for radio communication.

Try and make contact.

This is Will Robinson calling out...
Alpha Control.

Come in, Alpha Control.

This is Will Robinson calling Alpha
Control.

Come in if you hear me.

Oh, give it here.

Alpha Control, will you come in, please?

Attention. This is United Defense
Command Headquarters calling alien

You will identify yourself, please. Yes,
certainly, sir. Just a moment while I

get my wallet.

What? Wallis? Oh, good heavens, I have
no Wallis. I am Doctor. Doctor, I'm

Doctor Somebody. I know I am. William,
what am I? What? What? Doctor?

Doctor Zachary Smith. I'm Doctor Zachary
Smith.

I am a member of the Robinson Space
Exploration Party, which has been lost

four years.

Two years. Two years. Two dreadful,
horrible years. You will not believe the

frightful experiences that we have
undergone, the sordid experiences on

dreadful planets.

Hello?

Hello, are you there? Maybe they didn't
hear you. Well, of course they did.

This is Dr. Zachary Smith speaking.

We have been lost in space.

Attention. Alien spacecraft, attention.

Identify yourself or we will be forced
to take action.

What? We're not any aliens.

There's no danger. We are Earth people.

Two simple, lovable, charming Earth
people.

Take a look for yourself. Look, there
and there. Hello?

Are you there?

It's no use, Dr. Smith. We're not
getting through to them.

So close and yet so far.

This is a final warning.

Identify yourself or we will be forced
to attack.

What are we going to do, Dr. Smith?

I have it. We'll fire Mr. Dalton's
rocket.

That should prove to the defense command
that we're friendly.

I don't know if that's such a good idea.
He assured me they were harmless.

But, Dr. Smith... Never fear. Smith is
here and cannot fail to work.

Now, here is the trigger.

Will you take hold of the trigger and
fire one?

Ready to fire one. Fire one.

Firing one.

Thank you. Very well done.

Now fire two.

Ready to fire two.

Tear me the fancy brick of a roll and
fire two.

Fire two.

That should convince them that we're
friends.

We sure hope so.

We should be hearing from the defense
command at any moment now.

Attention all units.

Alien spacecraft of a hostile nature.

Report of two neutronic missiles
exploding in the Pacific Ocean.

It can't be. It's a mistake.

All units shall begin repelling attack
immediately and continue firing until

enemy has been destroyed.

We've got to alter our course.

and Dr. Smith are probably on Earth by
now.

Yeah, I do hope it isn't too cold. You
know, he wasn't very warmly dressed.

My sensors detect an approaching alien
aircraft.

Oh, Will.

Are you all right, son?

I'm a little bit sleepy.

The rest of me is fine. Oh, dear, we
thought you'd landed on Earth.

Well, what was wrong?

Well, Dr. Smith can tell you all about
that. Right now we have to get him back

to the spaceship so he can go to bed.

Oh, come on.

Oh, dear.

I still feel a little faint.

I am very glad you have returned, Dr.
Smith.

Thank you, sir.

I can't tell you how delighted I am to
have returned to Earth.

Ah, the sweet smell of one's native
soil.

What's the matter with him?

My computers tell me that Dr. Smith has
undergone a very traumatic experience.

His condition is not serious, and
recovery is only a matter of hours.

Come along, Dr. Smith.

Certainly, sir.

You have no idea how good it feels to be
home again.

I must tell you that my experience is in
faith truly remarkable.

I know you will find them hard to
believe.

Dr. Smith.

Yes. There is something in your hat.
Huh?

Take it away! Take it away!

Astrogator control.

No.

Fuel injection system.

No. Computer system.

No.

Maureen, check the harness safety.

All strapped. in.

Harness safety, go.

All right, stand by for power check.

Ignition. Go.

Power off.

Not a no -go in the lot.

Did you check those launch figures?

And double -checked them, right down to
the last decimal point. Hit the escape

corridor and lock on our flight path to
Alpha Centauri. We leave at 0800 hours.

Not a minute earlier, not a minute
later.

Well, then 0800 it is.

Maureen, as soon as Dr. Smith and Will
get back, we'll have a final briefing.

All right, John.

Not a nugget among them.

Here, William, take them all. You seem
to be very happy with your work.

Well, it's the last chance I'll get to
be active before we reach Alpha

If we ever get there, which I very much
doubt, and I certainly do not desire.

I've got a cure for doubt, Dr. Smith.

Have you indeed?

I, too, have a cure, which I shall now
quote.

When in danger or in doubt, run in
circles, yell and shout.

Mine's better than that.

Take this and get yourself some ore
samples from that rock formation over

Then we can make some geological assays
together during our flight.

Splendid. I can hardly wait.

And I will accompany you, Dr. Smith.

Oh, thank you. You're so good to me.
Come along, you cloud.

Pressure, pressure.

Rocks indeed.

They are of no particular interest to
me.

The things I endure for young William.

Well, my robust rock hound, where do you
suggest that I begin?

Right here, Dr. Smith.

My sensors indicate that if we expose
this outcrop, we may uncover a fossil

bearing strata of great geological
interest.

Let me assure you at once that it cannot
be of possible interest to me.

Also, I must warn you that you are in a
gaseous area.