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1
00:00:03,660 --> 00:00:08,560
Meet the gang cause the boys are here,
the boys to entertain you.
2
00:00:09,180 --> 00:00:14,160
With music and laughter to help you on
your way to raising the rafters with a
3
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:15,160
hey, hey, hey.
4
00:00:15,220 --> 00:00:21,220
With songs and sketches and jokes all
anew with us about you and Phil Blue. So
5
00:00:21,220 --> 00:00:26,080
meet the gang cause the boys are here,
the boys to entertain you.
6
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:31,960
B -O -B -O -Y -S, boys to entertain you.
7
00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:45,720
You know, sir, I do not understand why
the brigadier wants us to do a special
8
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:46,960
show just for him.
9
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,840
It's very hush -hush, Sergeant Major.
He's going to tell us later.
10
00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,320
This chap's a jolly good purist,
Colonel.
11
00:00:57,540 --> 00:00:59,360
Yes, he's a Cambridge man, you know. Oh,
really?
12
00:00:59,580 --> 00:01:00,580
I went to Cambridge.
13
00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,280
It was a beautiful day.
14
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,920
I'm much too tired to sleep.
15
00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:37,200
I'm one of those lady teachers, a
beautiful hostess, you know.
16
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:44,600
One that the palace features at exactly
a dime a
17
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:45,600
throw.
18
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,840
I hear drums.
19
00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:08,979
Loudly the saxophone blows.
20
00:02:10,539 --> 00:02:13,020
Trumpets are tearing my drums.
21
00:02:14,420 --> 00:02:16,300
Customers crush my tea.
22
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:58,190
to say a few words to you. All right,
chaps. Sit down. Make yourselves
23
00:02:58,190 --> 00:02:59,190
comfortable.
24
00:03:03,370 --> 00:03:04,670
Well done, chaps.
25
00:03:05,030 --> 00:03:06,030
Excellent, sir.
26
00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:08,850
Now, I've got some wonderful news for
you.
27
00:03:09,050 --> 00:03:14,430
As you know, we've got the Japanese on
the run, and we are preparing for the
28
00:03:14,430 --> 00:03:15,430
final push.
29
00:03:15,870 --> 00:03:18,150
Now, that's why I'm here today.
30
00:03:18,690 --> 00:03:22,410
You are going in with the first wave of
assault troops.
31
00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:27,430
You will be doing your share under a
hail of fire.
32
00:03:27,890 --> 00:03:31,270
Singing with bullets whistling past your
ears.
33
00:03:32,710 --> 00:03:34,530
Dancing amid the minefield.
34
00:03:35,130 --> 00:03:39,170
If one of you falls, someone else will
take his place.
35
00:03:39,550 --> 00:03:43,590
Laughing and jerking, keeping the morale
of the fighting men up.
36
00:03:45,170 --> 00:03:49,450
I want to hear of a pianist mentioned in
dispatches.
37
00:03:49,710 --> 00:03:52,870
Why shouldn't we have a ventriloquist
VC?
38
00:03:55,929 --> 00:03:58,370
I want you to become a legend.
39
00:03:59,170 --> 00:04:01,090
The fighting entertainers.
40
00:04:02,390 --> 00:04:03,390
Any questions?
41
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:04,910
Are we assured?
42
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:08,130
I think I'd better check with Equity.
43
00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:09,850
Shut up!
44
00:04:10,690 --> 00:04:12,870
Yes, well, you all heard what the
Brigadier had to say.
45
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:17,070
Starting at 800 hours tomorrow, you will
do a four -week intensive battle
46
00:04:17,070 --> 00:04:22,050
course, after which you will be known as
the Royal Artillery Conflict Party
47
00:04:22,050 --> 00:04:23,130
Commanders.
48
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,030
All yours, Sergeant Major. Carry on.
49
00:04:26,890 --> 00:04:30,370
I'm going back to the mess at GHQ. Care
to try and wear it? No, thank you, sir.
50
00:04:30,450 --> 00:04:31,229
We'll come along later.
51
00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:32,510
I hear they've got some olive here.
52
00:04:32,850 --> 00:04:37,010
Thank goodness for that. There's one
thing I can't stand. It's a martini
53
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,010
an olive.
54
00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:41,050
Right.
55
00:04:41,710 --> 00:04:44,350
The truck will be here in ten minutes.
Take you back to camp. There's a special
56
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,210
meal of bully beef stew, so do not be
late.
57
00:04:46,730 --> 00:04:47,730
Any dumplings?
58
00:04:47,810 --> 00:04:51,330
Because if there's one thing I can't
stand, it's bully beef stew without
59
00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:52,330
dumplings.
60
00:04:53,610 --> 00:04:54,610
Move yourselves.
61
00:05:05,050 --> 00:05:07,950
Mad. That brigadier is stark raving mad.
62
00:05:09,090 --> 00:05:13,050
Suicidal. I mean, you'd be safer being
real soldiers.
63
00:05:13,830 --> 00:05:15,610
I'm not fit to go in on the first wave.
64
00:05:16,910 --> 00:05:18,830
I'm not even fit enough for Blackpool
Beach.
65
00:05:20,690 --> 00:05:23,090
Perhaps you ought to learn a few
Japanese songs, sir.
66
00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:24,620
In case you have to retreat.
67
00:05:25,660 --> 00:05:27,780
Those of us dressed as girls might stand
a chance.
68
00:05:28,220 --> 00:05:29,980
I mean, even the Japs wouldn't shoot a
girl.
69
00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:30,979
Oh, no.
70
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,640
You'd just get ravaged, that's all.
71
00:05:34,340 --> 00:05:37,160
Why don't we do a nurse's number? Then
we could all wear red crosses.
72
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:38,720
Just think, Gloria.
73
00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:42,620
After the war, when you were a star with
your name up in lights, it could read
74
00:05:42,620 --> 00:05:44,560
Gloria Beaumont, VC.
75
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,180
Yeah, VC.
76
00:05:46,820 --> 00:05:47,820
Very Kent.
77
00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:51,240
I think we should look on the bright
side.
78
00:05:52,490 --> 00:05:53,870
Get a pack of food when you're in
training.
79
00:05:54,450 --> 00:05:58,530
The horses get more oats.
80
00:05:59,330 --> 00:06:00,410
They won't get those.
81
00:06:01,410 --> 00:06:03,290
This is serious. We might get killed.
82
00:06:03,590 --> 00:06:04,830
We've got to think of something.
83
00:06:05,110 --> 00:06:07,550
I mean, pull the plug out of the landing
craft.
84
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,890
Put sugar in their petrol tank.
85
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:11,270
Something, anything.
86
00:06:11,550 --> 00:06:12,610
I don't want to die.
87
00:06:27,210 --> 00:06:33,010
To train you to perfection so that you
can do the show anytime, anywhere,
88
00:06:33,230 --> 00:06:35,430
under battle conditions.
89
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,110
Excuse me, Sergeant Major, sir.
90
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:39,690
Yes.
91
00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:42,110
What's this?
92
00:06:42,190 --> 00:06:43,450
My resignation, sir.
93
00:06:44,810 --> 00:06:45,810
Resignation?
94
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:50,030
Sir Wallace is not allowed to resign.
95
00:06:51,250 --> 00:06:53,730
Sergeant Major, sir, I am not a soldier,
boy.
96
00:06:54,190 --> 00:06:58,030
If we are going into action laughing and
singing, what will I do?
97
00:06:58,250 --> 00:06:59,730
You will be going into action with us.
98
00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:01,890
Charon and Cakebox are at the ready,
madam.
99
00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:04,730
But what will I do when bullets start
flying?
100
00:07:05,630 --> 00:07:08,710
You can climb into your charon and pull
the lid down.
101
00:07:08,910 --> 00:07:10,830
Now, shut up! Don't cross in the corner!
102
00:07:12,830 --> 00:07:19,730
Now, when I blow my whistle, I want you
to get changed into your next
103
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:21,910
number like greased lightning on a gram.
104
00:07:22,430 --> 00:07:24,610
Yes, Sergeant Major. Now I want you to
play something short.
105
00:07:25,310 --> 00:07:26,830
What about the minute waltz?
106
00:07:27,090 --> 00:07:28,210
How long does it last?
107
00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:31,730
A minute.
108
00:07:32,550 --> 00:07:34,050
You will play it in 30 seconds.
109
00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:36,750
But that's impossible, Sergeant Major.
110
00:07:37,950 --> 00:07:39,230
That's impossible, Sergeant Major.
111
00:07:40,310 --> 00:07:43,710
Let me tell you, Mr. Lauderdale, if I
tell you to play the minute waltz in 30
112
00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:45,510
seconds, you will play it in 30 seconds!
113
00:07:45,990 --> 00:07:46,990
Stand by!
114
00:07:47,630 --> 00:07:48,630
Ready?
115
00:08:02,710 --> 00:08:06,050
... ... ...
116
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:12,710
... ... ... ... ...
117
00:08:12,710 --> 00:08:19,110
... ...
118
00:08:32,549 --> 00:08:33,630
Your moustache is crooked.
119
00:08:35,230 --> 00:08:36,230
Slant them eyes.
120
00:08:38,049 --> 00:08:39,789
Get them shoulders round, lovey boy.
121
00:08:40,809 --> 00:08:43,630
You cannot pay a Chinaman with fine
square shoulders like you got.
122
00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:45,550
Stand by for the next number.
123
00:08:45,910 --> 00:08:47,330
Come on, come on, come on.
124
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,360
Right.
125
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:15,100
Report.
126
00:09:18,580 --> 00:09:20,440
English country garden number.
127
00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:22,180
Oh, presently correct, Sergeant Major.
128
00:09:22,500 --> 00:09:23,500
Straighten that beard.
129
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,380
Shake that stomach out.
130
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,160
You were yours. You were on the wrong
way.
131
00:09:40,870 --> 00:09:44,910
Tomorrow, we start amphibious
manoeuvres.
132
00:09:45,610 --> 00:09:48,830
And when that slap comes down, I want to
see you coming out of that landing
133
00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:50,490
craft like the clappers.
134
00:09:50,770 --> 00:09:56,890
And if you is not singing and dancing
like you has never done before, you will
135
00:09:56,890 --> 00:09:57,890
all be on a fizzle!
136
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:17,280
Commandos will land first, establish a
bridgehead. Then in come your chaps, and
137
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:18,280
on with the show.
138
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:21,840
If the commanders are fighting the Japs,
they won't be able to watch the show.
139
00:10:22,140 --> 00:10:25,240
Keep their morale up. Today they've got
the show going on behind them.
140
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,720
If I was in their shoes, I'd rather face
the Japs.
141
00:10:30,340 --> 00:10:33,600
Well, if you'll excuse me, gentlemen,
I'll go and welcome them. The engineers
142
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:38,360
have fixed up some booby traps, and I
have some thunder flashes to ginker them
143
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:39,360
up a bit.
144
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:51,680
Right. One at the spout. Safety
catching.
145
00:10:51,900 --> 00:10:53,660
Off. Stand by.
146
00:10:54,140 --> 00:11:01,100
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two,
147
00:11:01,380 --> 00:11:02,380
one.
148
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,039
night, Ashwood.
149
00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:19,480
We could be back in camp enjoying a
night of gin and tonic.
150
00:13:20,740 --> 00:13:21,740
Where are we?
151
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,960
I'm working on it, sir. You mean we're
lost?
152
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,400
Oh, no, we're not lost. I'm just not
quite sure where we are.
153
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,100
Sergeant. Oh, yes, Sergeant Major.
154
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:39,700
Keep on the alert.
155
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,320
Excuse me, Sergeant Major.
156
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:43,800
Yes?
157
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,160
Are we lost?
158
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:48,780
Lost? Of course not.
159
00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:50,720
The British Army is never lost.
160
00:13:51,180 --> 00:13:52,380
What gave you that idea?
161
00:13:53,540 --> 00:13:54,940
Gunnar Graham said we were lost.
162
00:13:56,260 --> 00:13:57,260
Did he?
163
00:13:57,580 --> 00:13:58,580
Gunnar Graham!
164
00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:00,580
Yes, Sergeant Major?
165
00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:01,620
Come here.
166
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,240
Did you tell Gunnar Sutton we were lost?
167
00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,460
Well, I just ventured an opinion,
Sergeant Major.
168
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:09,280
Oh, I just ventured an opinion, Sergeant
Major.
169
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,440
That's a good mind to put you on a
charge.
170
00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:15,730
Spreading alarm and dysponcy.
171
00:14:17,150 --> 00:14:18,150
Lost?
172
00:14:18,570 --> 00:14:23,530
You may have an huge university -bred
brain, but let me tell you, Mr. Lardy
173
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:26,650
-Darkana Graham, I have got animal
cunning.
174
00:14:27,730 --> 00:14:30,770
The jungle is an open book to me.
175
00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:36,430
There is not a tree, twig, or bush I
does not know about.
176
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,900
out of our side, may I? I felt our
gunner Graham thinks we're lost, sir.
177
00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:50,839
can't cheat.
178
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,520
Have we got our bearings yet, Ashford?
Not quite, sir.
179
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:55,380
How far have we come, sir?
180
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,260
It's rather difficult to estimate.
181
00:14:57,660 --> 00:15:00,620
Did they teach you this sort of thing on
your officer's training course?
182
00:15:01,020 --> 00:15:02,760
Yes. What did they tell you?
183
00:15:03,340 --> 00:15:04,600
Oh, let me see.
184
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:09,840
Firstly, telegraph poles are 33 yards
apart.
185
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,400
There is no telegraph poles in the
jungles.
186
00:15:15,020 --> 00:15:16,020
That's a point.
187
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:20,880
Now, troops march three and a half miles
per hour.
188
00:15:21,340 --> 00:15:23,380
We was not marching, sir. We was
staggering.
189
00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:25,800
Better knock something off for that.
190
00:15:26,180 --> 00:15:27,840
I'll make it two and a half miles an
hour.
191
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:31,000
And we were going for four hours.
192
00:15:31,540 --> 00:15:34,680
That means we've come ten miles.
193
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,300
Don't forget we had a diversion.
194
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:39,080
When? Remember that nasty snake thing.
195
00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:41,090
Well, how much shall I knock off for
that?
196
00:15:41,330 --> 00:15:43,130
Well, it was only a little nasty snake
thing.
197
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:44,810
Say, two miles?
198
00:15:46,390 --> 00:15:48,110
We've become eight miles.
199
00:15:48,690 --> 00:15:50,350
What about Gunner Sugden's legs, sir?
200
00:15:51,590 --> 00:15:52,590
His legs?
201
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,650
Well, he couldn't keep up, sir. We had
to take our pace from him.
202
00:15:56,210 --> 00:15:57,730
Well, how much shall I knock off for
that?
203
00:15:58,030 --> 00:16:00,570
Well, Gunner Sugden's legs is half the
size of normal legs, sir.
204
00:16:03,770 --> 00:16:07,530
That means we've come four miles. Oh,
don't be absurd, Ash. We've come further
205
00:16:07,530 --> 00:16:08,209
than that.
206
00:16:08,210 --> 00:16:09,210
Now, let me do it.
207
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:15,440
Now, two and a half, divided by... Don't
forget that nasty snake thing. Now
208
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,120
you've put me off. I have to start all
over again.
209
00:16:17,780 --> 00:16:18,780
Here.
210
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,720
Do you think we really are lost,
Paderewski? Of course we are.
211
00:16:24,540 --> 00:16:26,020
Look at them. They haven't a clue.
212
00:16:26,580 --> 00:16:28,380
Well, they should know. They are the
officers.
213
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:31,620
What's that got to do with it? Well,
lions led by donkeys.
214
00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:33,820
Lions led by donkeys.
215
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:35,320
I like that.
216
00:16:35,790 --> 00:16:39,550
Oh, you're clever, Paderewski. Well,
actually, a German general said that
217
00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:41,050
the British Army in the First World War.
218
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:43,490
We're not really lions, are we?
219
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:48,010
I mean, I know we're ever so brave and
all that stuff, but we're not lions.
220
00:16:49,730 --> 00:16:53,730
How about when they came off that
landing craft this morning, dressed as
221
00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:55,390
bears, with all those bangs going on?
222
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:56,890
That was brave.
223
00:16:56,970 --> 00:16:58,770
You wouldn't find real teddy bears doing
that.
224
00:17:00,970 --> 00:17:01,970
That's a point.
225
00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:04,450
How about our peace?
226
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:06,180
Led by Philistines.
227
00:17:06,740 --> 00:17:08,819
How about poofs led by idiots?
228
00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:12,660
Have you got the answer yet, sir?
229
00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:15,700
Yes, but I don't think it's quite right.
Why?
230
00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:18,980
According to my calculations, we travel
2 ,000 miles in four hours.
231
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:26,260
Why don't we just call up on the radio,
sir, and get our position?
232
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:28,920
No, I'd rather not do that. They'll
think we're incompetent.
233
00:17:33,060 --> 00:17:34,420
Where have you been, Mohammed?
234
00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:36,140
Here,
235
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:37,620
Mohammed, where's the milk?
236
00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:39,500
All milk and sugar finished, Bob.
237
00:17:39,740 --> 00:17:40,740
Oh, this is the limit.
238
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:44,440
Here we are, stuck in the middle of the
jungle, nothing to eat but black pea and
239
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,440
hard -packed biscuits.
240
00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:50,540
Here, did you know, in Nelson's time,
the sailors used to knock the biscuits
241
00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:52,560
the table to knock all the weevils out?
242
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,040
Yuck.
243
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,940
I wouldn't mind finding a weevil in my
biscuit.
244
00:17:58,940 --> 00:18:00,420
Beggars can't be choosers, you know.
245
00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:04,340
I'm out of luck.
246
00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:07,040
I'll give anything for some good food.
247
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,720
I think I can make your dreams come
true, Petal.
248
00:18:12,060 --> 00:18:12,959
What's that?
249
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:13,960
A homing device.
250
00:18:14,540 --> 00:18:17,280
Old shut -up told me to hide it. He
nicked it off the commandos.
251
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:18,680
What do they use it for?
252
00:18:18,900 --> 00:18:19,980
To get grub.
253
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:24,660
When you switch it on, it gives out a
radio signal and the supply plane homes
254
00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:26,000
on it and drops the grub.
255
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,700
What happens when the commanders want
the food?
256
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:30,760
Don't worry about them. They're used to
it.
257
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:32,850
They get extra go without food money.
258
00:18:33,430 --> 00:18:36,110
They're great, big, tough, hand -picked
men. They don't mind.
259
00:18:36,630 --> 00:18:40,430
So as soon as it's daylight, I'll switch
it on and we get the drop.
260
00:18:40,710 --> 00:18:43,870
Yeah, just think, fellas, we could get
some real scoffer breakfast.
261
00:18:44,330 --> 00:18:46,010
Hey, I wonder what it'll be.
262
00:18:46,670 --> 00:18:48,230
We're bound to get powdered egg.
263
00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:50,190
We might get some real eggs.
264
00:18:50,770 --> 00:18:52,230
They drop those, they break.
265
00:18:53,650 --> 00:18:54,810
I didn't think of that.
266
00:18:55,110 --> 00:18:57,890
Yeah, we might get ten trickle pudding.
267
00:18:58,580 --> 00:19:00,480
Caught in treacle pudding.
268
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:02,960
Night -night, fellas.
269
00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:06,220
Right,
270
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,760
chaps. This is the little thing that's
causing all the trouble.
271
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:18,020
As you know, our penetration units have
been using these for supply drops.
272
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:22,860
Unfortunately, the Japs have got hold of
one of them and we've been dropping
273
00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:23,860
supplies to them.
274
00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:26,480
Now, that's not the idea at all. Oh, no.
275
00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:32,280
So orders have been given that all
homing devices will maintain complete
276
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:33,840
as from first light tomorrow.
277
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,020
So any signals we get will be the Japs.
278
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:40,820
We will then beam in on them and then
tally home.
279
00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:43,520
Instead of getting breakfast, they'll be
getting bombs.
280
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,380
Give us one for Gloria, my husband.
281
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:48,700
Check it up.
282
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:50,340
Look here.
283
00:19:52,180 --> 00:19:53,180
Here, Gloria.
284
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:54,300
Thanks, my baby.
285
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,460
Lovely.
286
00:19:56,699 --> 00:19:57,699
Yes.
287
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:03,020
Did you attend to that little matter,
Macintosh?
288
00:20:03,460 --> 00:20:04,460
Aye, Sergeant Major.
289
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:05,760
Good boy, good boy.
290
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:11,620
Any minute now, we'll be getting
breakfast.
291
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,240
How long's it been on for, Atlas?
292
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:16,060
About an hour. I switched it on as soon
as it was light.
293
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,660
You ready to move off, Sergeant Major?
294
00:20:25,210 --> 00:20:28,510
Oh, well, I think we ought to wait for a
bit, sir. I mean, you never know what
295
00:20:28,510 --> 00:20:29,169
can happen.
296
00:20:29,170 --> 00:20:30,170
No, we're moving off now.
297
00:20:30,870 --> 00:20:31,869
Where to, sir?
298
00:20:31,870 --> 00:20:32,849
Oh, that's the point.
299
00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:36,890
Er, Ashford, last night you said you
were going to locate the North Star, did
300
00:20:36,890 --> 00:20:38,710
you? Yes, sir, I narrowed it down to
two, sir.
301
00:20:38,910 --> 00:20:40,910
One was over there, and one over there.
302
00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:46,670
I think we'd better call up on the
radio, sir. Yes, I'm afraid we shall
303
00:20:48,570 --> 00:20:49,569
Get up, Hawkins!
304
00:20:49,570 --> 00:20:53,970
Get off the radio!
305
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,320
Call up GHQ and find out where we are?
306
00:20:56,540 --> 00:20:57,540
Yes, sir.
307
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,680
Why have we got two radios?
308
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,100
Two radios, sir?
309
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:05,620
Yes, that one and that one.
310
00:21:05,980 --> 00:21:08,700
Well, that one is not a radio, sir.
311
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:09,920
What is it?
312
00:21:10,380 --> 00:21:15,460
What is it? Well, it's something I
borrowed from them commandos, sir.
313
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:16,700
What's it for?
314
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:18,920
Sends out a signal for a supply drop.
315
00:21:19,380 --> 00:21:20,880
How dare you steal equipment?
316
00:21:21,540 --> 00:21:23,600
Do you want to say we're going to get
some food?
317
00:21:25,060 --> 00:21:26,120
Early minute now, sir.
318
00:21:27,140 --> 00:21:30,100
Well, I don't suppose those commanders
will mind going without breakfast?
319
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,700
After all, they're great big tough hand
-picked men.
320
00:21:34,220 --> 00:21:35,400
That's what I said, sir.
321
00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:37,300
Shut up.
322
00:21:38,060 --> 00:21:40,160
I'm getting through to GHQ now, sir.
323
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:42,880
Hello? Hello?
324
00:21:43,180 --> 00:21:46,160
This is the Royal Artillery concert
party here.
325
00:21:46,620 --> 00:21:47,620
Over.
326
00:21:47,980 --> 00:21:50,460
Get off the air at once and maintain
radio silence.
327
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:51,720
Over and out.
328
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,000
That was rather rude.
329
00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:54,300
Probably in a bad mood.
330
00:21:54,540 --> 00:21:57,400
I tell you what, we'll wait for the
food, and after we've had breakfast,
331
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:58,400
call them up again.
332
00:21:58,720 --> 00:21:59,720
What's that sound?
333
00:21:59,940 --> 00:22:01,480
That sounds like the fly planes.
334
00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:03,720
They're not jets, are they?
335
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:08,540
No. No, it's the RAF. I can tell by the
engines. Look! There they are, look!
336
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,420
What's that smoking thing coming down on
a parachute?
337
00:22:14,020 --> 00:22:16,060
That's us sending the food down ready
cooked, sir.
338
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:19,120
Not enough hot pizza.
339
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:20,840
Shut up.
340
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,500
Actually, it's a smoke flare. I think
they must be sending it down as a
341
00:22:26,260 --> 00:22:27,260
Oh, good.
342
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:28,920
I'm starving.
343
00:22:29,820 --> 00:22:31,120
I hope we get lots of them.
344
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,140
If I can get anything, they drop, sir.
345
00:22:42,620 --> 00:22:43,620
That's not food.
346
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:44,800
Turn that off!
347
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:46,840
Thank you.
348
00:25:10,700 --> 00:25:14,020
The Japanese are yellow with black hair.
349
00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:19,680
Now, if one of us went out into the open
who was white with blonde hair, then
350
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:21,420
the RAF might realise that we're
British.
351
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:22,559
Good idea.
352
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,700
Sergeant Major, who's the whitest man
we've got?
353
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:26,540
Can a sergeant do without a dot?
354
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:27,999
Sergeant Major!
355
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:28,799
Shut up!
356
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:30,740
He'd have to take his clothes off, of
course, sir.
357
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,080
Get him off, sergeant. Oh, no.
358
00:25:58,120 --> 00:26:00,960
regulations. Push him out! Push him out!
Now?
359
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:03,920
Yes, now!
360
00:26:04,940 --> 00:26:05,940
Move yourself!
361
00:26:12,340 --> 00:26:13,440
Now show yourself!
362
00:26:15,020 --> 00:26:16,540
I wouldn't be arrested for that.
363
00:26:17,500 --> 00:26:20,480
The most disgusting sight I've ever
seen.
364
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,580
Lay your arms about Shudder!
365
00:26:24,060 --> 00:26:26,040
What's the matter with him? He's
crawling about on the ground.
366
00:26:26,300 --> 00:26:27,300
Has he been hit?
367
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:33,200
Looking for something.
368
00:26:33,580 --> 00:26:34,580
What?
369
00:26:35,580 --> 00:26:36,760
The willy's dropped off.
370
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:46,400
That's that, it is.
371
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:52,580
Now, as you all know, a short time ago,
we came through the jaws of hell.
372
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,500
We were tested to the limit.
373
00:26:56,220 --> 00:26:57,540
But we were not found wanting.
374
00:26:58,820 --> 00:27:03,090
You know, when the gods of war tread on
the grapes of wrath, The wine is
375
00:27:03,090 --> 00:27:04,090
inevitably bitter.
376
00:27:04,630 --> 00:27:09,770
We paid heavily for our fortitude, and
we suffered the loss of a very dear
377
00:27:09,770 --> 00:27:10,770
friend.
378
00:27:11,230 --> 00:27:12,230
I have to tell you,
379
00:27:12,910 --> 00:27:17,550
Gunner Parkins had his head blown off
his ventriloquist's dummy.
380
00:27:19,730 --> 00:27:25,130
Now, I'm sure you'll all agree with me,
his dummy, little Jungle Jim, was loved
381
00:27:25,130 --> 00:27:26,130
by us all.
382
00:27:26,430 --> 00:27:31,110
He was a real comrade in arms, and he
will be sorely missed.
383
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:37,100
We've always believed in fair play.
384
00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:40,100
We can take it, and we can dish it out.
385
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:45,960
But when this ruthless enemy, whose
barbarous inhumanity no -no -barns, when
386
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:51,220
they destroy the teddy bear costumes,
and worse still, Dennis Bugden's Mickey
387
00:27:51,220 --> 00:27:55,560
Mouse costume, then we have to say, so
far and no further.
388
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,920
Furthermore... Sergeant Major, we were
bombed by our own plane.
389
00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:04,700
Never mind, boy.
390
00:28:05,870 --> 00:28:07,430
The Colonel's a lovely talker, isn't he?
391
00:28:07,930 --> 00:28:09,710
Makes you proud to be British.
392
00:28:10,430 --> 00:28:11,430
Beautiful.
393
00:28:11,970 --> 00:28:12,970
Beautiful.
394
00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:37,850
With us about, you won't do me so.
395
00:28:38,130 --> 00:28:42,650
We take that cause the boys are here.
We're boys to entertain you.
396
00:28:42,990 --> 00:28:46,070
We are here to make you gay.
397
00:28:46,290 --> 00:28:49,010
So give us a cheer with a hey, hey, hey.
398
00:28:49,250 --> 00:28:51,970
Just gather around and put down your
gun.
399
00:28:52,170 --> 00:28:54,730
With us about, there's radio fun.
400
00:28:54,950 --> 00:28:59,930
So we take that cause the boys are here.
The boys to entertain you.
28832
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