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1
00:00:03,530 --> 00:00:08,410
Meet the gang cause the boys are here,
the boys to entertain you.
2
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With music and laughter to help you on
your way, to raising the rafters with a
3
00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:15,050
hey, hey, hey.
4
00:00:15,130 --> 00:00:20,770
With songs and sketches and jokes old
and new, with us about you and Phil
5
00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:26,010
So meet the gang cause the boys are
here, the boys to entertain you.
6
00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:31,870
B -O -B -O -Y -S, boys to entertain you.
7
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,920
The gang cause the boys are here.
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Boys to age and age. Your handsome face
is all white and leathery. Just like
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00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:47,300
your daddy Christmas, isn't it?
10
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,240
Holy night.
11
00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,320
Silent night.
12
00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:59,220
Holy night. Randy, do me a favour. No
cabaret.
13
00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:02,930
Just make sure you sharpen that bit of
old tin you call a riser.
14
00:01:03,210 --> 00:01:05,790
Don't you worry, Tom. I will make it
sharp as bloody hell.
15
00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:14,390
Somebody at Solomon's, would you please
ask Randy to put a sock in it?
16
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Ready, you are out. Is that that?
17
00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:18,430
This is a very delicate operation.
18
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:20,830
She loves me.
19
00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:22,630
She loves me not.
20
00:01:24,070 --> 00:01:25,370
Will you please build up?
21
00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:27,690
You're not writing home again, are you,
Parky?
22
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,760
Well, I swapped an ear ago off for five
bags. It seems a pity to waste it.
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00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:35,320
I only write once a month. I can't think
of nothing to say.
24
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:37,040
Oh, it's easy.
25
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:42,060
Dear Mum, I hope you're well. The news
is quite good.
26
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,280
I've got the deli itch. However, I've
got over the runs.
27
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,480
How's Dad?
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00:01:47,980 --> 00:01:52,340
We've all been confined to barracks by
old shutter, though none of us knows
29
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No, we don't. It's a damned disgrace.
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It's imprisonment without trial.
31
00:01:56,860 --> 00:02:00,860
That's against habeas corpus, isn't it?
They don't have habeas corpus when the
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00:02:00,860 --> 00:02:01,860
army's done showing.
33
00:02:01,940 --> 00:02:07,100
Hey, what is habeas corpus? Well, it
means literally to have the body.
34
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,280
We have that in India, sir. We call it
Kama Sutra.
35
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,600
Poor Chintanwala.
36
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:18,380
Now, don't say anything. How much? A
kitna pie, see?
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00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,300
That's cheap.
38
00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,060
It costs you half a crowning block,
fool.
39
00:02:43,519 --> 00:02:48,020
He wants you to do a design in the sand.
Oh, I'm sorry
40
00:02:58,839 --> 00:02:59,860
Oh, goodness gracious.
41
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,200
Is it bad news?
42
00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:02,620
No, no, sir. He has headache.
43
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,980
What's he want now? More money? No, no,
sir. He want aspirin.
44
00:03:09,660 --> 00:03:11,500
Tell him to get on with it. He'll have
his aspirin later.
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00:03:13,420 --> 00:03:16,080
Oh, I'm
46
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:22,220
so
47
00:03:22,220 --> 00:03:23,740
glad.
48
00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:26,280
It's such a relief to know, isn't it?
49
00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:29,360
Sir,
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00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:32,740
he said they can see it shining through
the trees.
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00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,060
We hope next year it's a scarborough.
52
00:03:36,220 --> 00:03:40,620
Sir, he said, do they have jungle in
Scarborough?
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00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,260
Jungle? Jungle?
54
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:46,260
It's a swindle. No, no, no, sir. Make
another pattern in sand.
55
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:51,440
I went to a fortune teller once. She
told me one day I'd be a soldier.
56
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,820
And who knows, lovely boy, one day it
might come true.
57
00:03:55,380 --> 00:04:01,520
What is that man doing in here?
58
00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:03,640
He's a fortune teller, Sergeant Major.
59
00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:05,560
I will tell his fortune.
60
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,900
If he is not out of this bathroom in ten
seconds, he will find my toe right up
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00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:11,900
his jacksy.
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00:04:23,210 --> 00:04:26,790
Sir, he is cursing you. He says that all
your teeth will fall out.
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00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:29,169
Oh, dear.
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00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:30,490
How sad. Too late.
65
00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:36,310
Get out of my sight. Better get him off
this camp and don't let me see him here
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00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:39,930
again. Don't you worry, sir. I will
quickly give him the bum's rust. Shut
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00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:41,990
You are a lovely man.
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00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:44,750
Right,
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00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:47,830
lovely boys. Now, I expect you've been
wondering why I asked you not to leave
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00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:48,830
camp this afternoon.
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00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:52,220
You didn't ask us, Sergeant Major. You
told us we were confined to barracks
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00:04:52,220 --> 00:04:53,220
until further orders.
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00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,860
Oh, dear, did I say that?
74
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,620
Must have been a slip of the tongue.
75
00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:58,760
Because I am not annoyed with you.
76
00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:00,060
Oh, dear me, no.
77
00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:04,360
I just thought we would do a bit of
rehearsing.
78
00:05:05,940 --> 00:05:07,400
But isn't that what you're going to ask
me what for?
79
00:05:11,820 --> 00:05:13,160
What for, Sergeant Major?
80
00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:15,340
Good boy.
81
00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:17,079
Nicely put.
82
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,080
Very polite.
83
00:05:20,490 --> 00:05:21,910
What for, said this smart young soldier?
84
00:05:24,050 --> 00:05:25,110
I will tell you.
85
00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:26,850
It's Saturday afternoon.
86
00:05:27,170 --> 00:05:28,170
There's nobody about.
87
00:05:28,350 --> 00:05:31,990
Nobody can see you. So I thought we
would rehearse the flag ceremony.
88
00:05:33,370 --> 00:05:36,390
What is the flag ceremony, Lofty?
89
00:05:37,450 --> 00:05:38,990
I don't know, Sergeant Major.
90
00:05:39,910 --> 00:05:41,650
I will tell you, Lofty boy.
91
00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:46,730
It happens when the sun is setting.
92
00:05:47,790 --> 00:05:48,790
A detachment.
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00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:56,040
of hand -picked smart soldiers, salutes
the Union Jack and lowers it while the
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00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,320
bugler plays the last post.
95
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,760
He's bringing tears to your eyes
already, boy.
96
00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,220
You've been eating onions.
97
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,160
Now, who is going to volunteer for this
rehearsal?
98
00:06:16,590 --> 00:06:20,010
Well, it might help you lovely boys to
make up your minds when I tell you that
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00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:23,610
them that does not volunteer will be
doubling around the barrack square in
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00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:26,690
service marching order until we are
finished. That is what I love to see!
101
00:06:28,030 --> 00:06:29,030
Keen soldiers!
102
00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:31,670
Parade outside on the parade ground.
103
00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:33,290
Get on parade!
104
00:06:33,650 --> 00:06:34,650
Oh!
105
00:06:38,650 --> 00:06:40,470
You old dozy idle fellow!
106
00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:43,030
Rise and shine! And pull your damps!
107
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,060
And shit up straight with your
punkering.
108
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:55,840
Revolution.
109
00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,440
And don't be such clever dicky.
110
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:11,280
Sergeant Major is going to make the
concert party pull down the onion jack.
111
00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:17,170
in many bags of bull.
112
00:07:17,450 --> 00:07:20,770
Why are they doing this, Rangi?
113
00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:25,890
Are the British going to quit India like
the way we have been suggesting by
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00:07:25,890 --> 00:07:27,390
throwing stones at them?
115
00:07:27,770 --> 00:07:29,570
No, no, you ignorant coolie.
116
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,530
This is part of British empire way of
life.
117
00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:36,010
Have you not heard them say sun never
set on British flag?
118
00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:37,950
Uh -huh. You know how they're doing
that?
119
00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:41,190
Well, I'm telling you. They are jolly
smart monkeys.
120
00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:44,410
You know what they're doing? They are
taking down flag.
121
00:07:44,810 --> 00:07:47,030
After tea and before gin and tonic.
122
00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:49,590
Right.
123
00:07:49,850 --> 00:07:50,850
Pay attention.
124
00:07:51,770 --> 00:07:53,630
Gunnarsagden, are you listening,
Gunnarsagden?
125
00:07:54,130 --> 00:07:55,250
Yes, Sergeant Major.
126
00:07:56,090 --> 00:07:58,770
Gunnarsagden, two paces forward, march!
127
00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:07,070
I have been doing a bit of snooping at
your records, and from that it
128
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:12,670
that Gunnarsagden here was for two years
a member of the boys' bugle band.
129
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:14,840
Is that right?
130
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:16,440
Yes, Sergeant Major.
131
00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:19,920
And, of course, he joined the army and
we started to win the war.
132
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:27,580
You know what that is, don't you?
133
00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:31,060
A bugle.
134
00:08:32,539 --> 00:08:33,539
Good boy.
135
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,000
Now, do you know the tune of the last
post?
136
00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:39,860
Yes, Sergeant Major.
137
00:08:41,539 --> 00:08:42,860
When I give the word...
138
00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:44,179
You will play it.
139
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,560
There's just one thing, Sergeant Major.
No arguments.
140
00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:52,780
Stand over there and wait till I give
the word.
141
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:59,520
Sergeant Major has given his trumpet to
Lafty South.
142
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:00,860
Why is he doing this?
143
00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:03,020
This is part of British code, Mohammed.
144
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,460
The British code?
145
00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:08,200
True British gentleman never blows own
trumpet.
146
00:09:13,610 --> 00:09:15,010
knows how to present arms, don't you?
147
00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:19,010
Even you, Mr. Lauderdale, going to
Graham with your university education is
148
00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:20,270
too stupid to do that, is you?
149
00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:24,870
Well, we're rather inclined to do it at
different speeds, Sergeant Major.
150
00:09:28,510 --> 00:09:29,850
Different speeds, Sergeant Major?
151
00:09:31,690 --> 00:09:36,350
What you may not have been learnt at
Oxford and at Cambridge is how to fold
152
00:09:36,350 --> 00:09:37,830
flag. Get a bomb on it.
153
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:39,790
Cop all of the two ends.
154
00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:52,370
On command one, you will bring two ends
together.
155
00:09:52,690 --> 00:09:59,590
On command two, bring the right hand
156
00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:00,590
down to the bottom corner.
157
00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:05,710
Make sure to hold the top part secure
with the thumb and forefinger of the
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00:10:05,710 --> 00:10:12,650
hand. On command three, bring both ends
159
00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:14,030
horizontal once again.
160
00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:26,760
He did, Sergeant Major. I was watching.
161
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,320
Shut up.
162
00:10:28,740 --> 00:10:29,740
You were.
163
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,080
Back to faith!
164
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:46,880
You are doing it deliberate, aren't you?
165
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,220
Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but really,
it's quite simple.
166
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,200
You're facing him, you see.
167
00:10:53,660 --> 00:10:56,420
So when you use your right hand, he must
use his left.
168
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,440
And vice versa, of course.
169
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,740
Thank you, Professor Einstein.
170
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,720
When I want your help, I will ask for
it.
171
00:11:06,940 --> 00:11:07,940
As you were.
172
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:11,140
One, two, three.
173
00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:18,780
On a command, four, you will take
three...
174
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,080
Yes, Sergeant Major.
175
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:31,680
What
176
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:40,000
are
177
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,460
you doing with your right foot?
178
00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:46,320
It's my fault, Sergeant Major. I've been
making him practice that for the
179
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:47,520
dancing cheek -to -cheek number.
180
00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:51,600
My compliments to Ginger Rogers, you.
181
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,660
that if you do not put her right foot on
the ground, she will be dancing cheek
182
00:11:56,660 --> 00:11:57,740
to cheek in the glass house.
183
00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,500
Go!
184
00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:00,920
Oh, that lovely song.
185
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,960
Heaven, I'm in heaven.
186
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,000
Oh, oh, oh.
187
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,740
And my heart... Shut up!
188
00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,580
If there's one thing I cannot stand,
it's Indian music.
189
00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:23,000
On the command five, you will commence
to roll the flag.
190
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,670
Starting at the top.
191
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:25,910
Hey!
192
00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:36,950
There. Now you'd better iron it before
you use it again, otherwise it won't be
193
00:12:36,950 --> 00:12:37,950
fit to be seen.
194
00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:42,530
Why, we have still got some insanity
left.
195
00:12:43,990 --> 00:12:46,410
We will pass on to the actual loading
ceremony.
196
00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:48,530
Can I park it? Sir?
197
00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:50,190
Stand by on the string.
198
00:12:50,550 --> 00:12:51,550
Yes, sir.
199
00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:53,130
The guard, Commander.
200
00:12:53,610 --> 00:12:55,490
gives the order to present arms.
201
00:12:55,770 --> 00:13:02,510
And when this maneuver has been
completed, the spring man commences to
202
00:13:02,510 --> 00:13:09,210
Union Jack slowly and relevantly while
the bugler plays the last
203
00:13:09,210 --> 00:13:10,210
post.
204
00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:11,750
Is that clear?
205
00:13:13,070 --> 00:13:14,110
Sergeant Major.
206
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:15,350
Shut up.
207
00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:32,560
If I could make a suggestion, I could
hum it, Sergeant Major.
208
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:48,100
the Union Jack will not be lowered while
La -di -da Gunner Graham sings La -di
209
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,100
-da.
210
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,600
It will be lowered in a relevant
silence.
211
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:41,110
What rotten to do? Our glorious Union
Jack has got knotted?
212
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:49,590
Right! Now you will note that at the
base of this piaster there is a pin.
213
00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:56,510
I am going to extract that pin,
whereupon the flagpole will fall right
214
00:15:56,510 --> 00:15:57,510
there.
215
00:15:58,890 --> 00:16:03,090
And you better catch it, because
otherwise it will hammer you into the
216
00:16:06,990 --> 00:16:08,250
a second who's halfway there already.
217
00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:11,590
Can I pardon you?
218
00:16:11,730 --> 00:16:12,990
Sir? Come by here.
219
00:16:14,210 --> 00:16:15,210
Yes, sir.
220
00:16:18,090 --> 00:16:22,870
You will stand by to take the pin when I
have extracted it. Yes, sir.
221
00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:25,690
Stand by.
222
00:16:30,710 --> 00:16:31,710
Pin!
223
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,980
What an act. It broke the house down.
224
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,400
Here we are again.
225
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:01,580
Empty bucket.
226
00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:14,099
I have good news.
227
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,119
Roof mending water coming tomorrow to
take away hole.
228
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:20,940
Hey, Farah. Yes, sir.
229
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:29,680
This Krishna Godfarer you praise to, is
he any good like?
230
00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:30,860
Yes, sir, Mr. Sir.
231
00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:32,020
Very good.
232
00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:33,840
Very powerful and merciful, sir.
233
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,460
Just like your own God, only more sexy.
234
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:44,460
What I mean like is, When you praise to
him, do it work?
235
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:48,940
Oh, yes, sir. If Krishna hear your
prayer, it work every time, sir.
236
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:52,300
Unfortunately, in India, line very busy.
237
00:17:54,540 --> 00:18:00,180
But, sir, if you want to get rid of
hole, do not pray. Wait for roof
238
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,180
wall.
239
00:18:04,540 --> 00:18:05,540
Krishna.
240
00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:15,290
Hare... Hare Krishna.
241
00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:19,630
I'm only an humble Satyam major.
242
00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:22,290
I'm not very important.
243
00:18:24,090 --> 00:18:25,510
I'm not very holy either.
244
00:18:27,710 --> 00:18:34,590
But if you want a lifelong friend, help
me, please.
245
00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:40,630
Help me to get that bloody concert party
up the jungle.
246
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,690
We must have a few gins tonight, Nigel.
I wish you bon voyage.
247
00:18:49,130 --> 00:18:52,190
Yes. I say, it's all rather sudden,
isn't it? Well, that's how these things
248
00:18:52,190 --> 00:18:53,190
happen, you know.
249
00:18:53,330 --> 00:18:56,090
Anyway, 12 o 'clock tomorrow, and it's
me for the other car.
250
00:18:56,390 --> 00:18:59,190
But you won't actually be doing any of
the fighting, of course, will you? No,
251
00:18:59,190 --> 00:19:01,450
not this time. No, they put me in charge
of welfare.
252
00:19:02,090 --> 00:19:03,870
Oh, you mean billiard tables and things.
253
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:05,210
I don't see that.
254
00:19:05,610 --> 00:19:07,490
They don't have billiard tables in the
jungle.
255
00:19:07,910 --> 00:19:08,910
I'm awfully sorry, sir.
256
00:19:09,330 --> 00:19:11,150
They couldn't level them.
257
00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:18,940
No, I think it's just books. and
entertainment and the cinema and drafts
258
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:22,420
things. What a shame you won't be here
tomorrow night to see the new show.
259
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:24,960
Yes, pity all of them. I didn't know you
had a concert party.
260
00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:26,560
What sort of things do they do?
261
00:19:26,940 --> 00:19:28,400
They're doing a night in Havana.
262
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,460
Several of them dress up as girls.
263
00:19:31,260 --> 00:19:34,600
Then this chap comes along selling
peanuts.
264
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,860
And he sings, peanuts.
265
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:40,720
Sounds rather good.
266
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,180
I suppose I couldn't borrow them for a
couple of weeks.
267
00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:45,380
I don't think I could do that.
268
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:49,060
Oh, you could, sir. I mean, well, the
dapple's not very full, sir, and them
269
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:52,120
boys up the jungle, they need joking and
relaxation.
270
00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:55,000
Yeah, they dress up as girls, you say?
271
00:19:55,540 --> 00:19:56,540
Girls, sir?
272
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,100
They're lifelike. You can't tell them
apart.
273
00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:00,560
Really?
274
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,440
Yeah, well, of course, they don't have a
roughage, you know.
275
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,200
They spend most of their time in the
back of a three -tommer, have to sleep
276
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,200
the ground.
277
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:08,720
They'd revel in it, sir.
278
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,520
As long as they can entertain, you know,
sir, it's in their blood, you see.
279
00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,840
I suppose I could spare them for a week
or two.
280
00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:18,960
I tell you what, we'll get them to give
an audition after tipping, and then you
281
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:19,960
can see if they're up to scratch.
282
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,320
I'll go and get her ready for it soon.
283
00:20:23,660 --> 00:20:28,000
I want you to take a special chitty to
the concert party, Basha.
284
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:33,100
Hey, that Krishna God, if he was, he's
pretty good, isn't he?
285
00:20:55,860 --> 00:20:59,420
Peanuts! Very good, very good indeed.
286
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:03,600
Of course, of course, we normally throw
peanuts at the audience, but you being
287
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:04,780
officers, we didn't like to do that.
288
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:14,080
The commanding officer can be persuaded
to let you go. You're absolutely right
289
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,080
for my orders.
290
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,400
Stay down for a minute.
291
00:21:16,620 --> 00:21:17,620
Now!
292
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,240
Well done, boys. I'm proud of you. Carry
on, Bombardier.
293
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,940
Here, raise it, raise it. Who is he,
anyway?
294
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:31,680
Oh, Thab, he is B .I .C. B .I .C.? Ah,
Thab, very important colonel.
295
00:21:32,620 --> 00:21:37,000
He is from Denny Thab, and Sergeant
Major Thab says that he is big C's in
296
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,200
entertainment and billy balls, isn't it?
297
00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,200
A proper orchestra.
298
00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:56,200
And sir, I will wear silver bang round
turban and flower behind your own. Yeah,
299
00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:01,020
of course. And I shall polish my tea urn
and fill it with half a pound of very
300
00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:02,080
best typhoon tips.
301
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:11,740
At long
302
00:22:11,740 --> 00:22:17,850
last, I shall be a... Star. Yes, lovely
boy, you will be a star. Get telling,
303
00:22:17,930 --> 00:22:21,070
boys. The Colonel is very proud of you,
and so am I.
304
00:22:21,830 --> 00:22:24,590
You passed the audition with flying
colours.
305
00:22:24,870 --> 00:22:26,990
You mean he's going to let us go? Yes,
he is.
306
00:22:27,770 --> 00:22:31,390
He didn't want to, mind, but I persuaded
him.
307
00:22:33,430 --> 00:22:35,010
Gee, thanks, Sergeant Major.
308
00:22:35,650 --> 00:22:39,490
Well, we've had our differences in the
past, haven't we? But that's all over
309
00:22:39,490 --> 00:22:40,490
now, isn't it?
310
00:22:41,090 --> 00:22:42,730
Yeah, of course it is, Sergeant Major.
311
00:22:43,310 --> 00:22:44,610
And to show there's no hard feelings.
312
00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:49,110
I would like you to put a little request
number in the show to remind you of me.
313
00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,050
You name it, Sergeant Major.
314
00:22:51,890 --> 00:22:53,870
Can I say that? Yes, Sergeant Major.
315
00:22:54,170 --> 00:22:56,770
Do you know that lovely old song, Trees?
316
00:22:57,030 --> 00:22:58,030
I think so.
317
00:22:58,890 --> 00:22:59,890
How's it go?
318
00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:03,490
I think that I shall never see...
319
00:23:13,580 --> 00:23:14,780
You sing that song for me.
320
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,580
Because where you are going, the scenery
will be just right.
321
00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:22,080
Do you know where you were doing a show?
322
00:23:22,820 --> 00:23:23,820
Up the jungle.
323
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:25,600
Shut up.
324
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,640
We thought he was an entertainment
officer in Delhi. He was.
325
00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:31,900
But now he's going to do shows deep,
deep, deep in the jungle.
326
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,080
And you know he'll be waiting for you at
the stage door going to Beaumont.
327
00:23:35,260 --> 00:23:36,620
Lovely little sand -eyed Japanese.
328
00:23:38,060 --> 00:23:41,720
Right. So yours you will order is
Bombardier, the Royal Island. Artillery
329
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,860
concert party will report at 1200 hours
on Monday, ready for moving off.
330
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:52,200
All except for Gunner Parkins, who will
report sick tomorrow morning.
331
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,160
Report sick?
332
00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:55,760
Why? What's wrong with me?
333
00:23:56,980 --> 00:23:57,980
We don't know, boy.
334
00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:01,460
That is why we have to see the M .O.
335
00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:15,240
My dear sir, in this one I have put all
your greasy paint.
336
00:24:16,860 --> 00:24:22,160
Your buddy Flanagan's coat and hat, your
Groucho Marxist spectacles, and your
337
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:23,320
Teddy Brown's tummy, sir.
338
00:24:24,420 --> 00:24:25,299
What's that?
339
00:24:25,300 --> 00:24:26,300
Sir, that is mine.
340
00:24:27,020 --> 00:24:28,060
Where's the rest of your stuff?
341
00:24:28,620 --> 00:24:30,520
Your stuff? That is all I have, sir.
342
00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:35,340
Except for this one letter, sir, from
Lieutenant Barber, to whom I was bearer
343
00:24:35,340 --> 00:24:36,299
two years, sir.
344
00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:40,360
And in it he writes that I am top old
fellow and jolly good all -round chap.
345
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:44,840
All right, fellas, those that haven't
can smoke.
346
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,800
Truck a beer in five minutes.
347
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:48,800
Look at that, Parkey.
348
00:24:49,540 --> 00:24:50,660
Isn't that a beautiful sight?
349
00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:52,800
I wish I was going with him.
350
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:54,720
Oh, you couldn't, boy.
351
00:24:55,300 --> 00:24:56,420
Not in your state of health.
352
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,900
I didn't know Dandruff could be that
serious.
353
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,400
Well, I suppose I'd better bid him a
fond farewell.
354
00:25:18,670 --> 00:25:23,010
we shall be forever parted. Oh, dearie
me, he is saying goodbye to groups.
355
00:25:23,270 --> 00:25:24,590
My eyes will cry.
356
00:25:25,270 --> 00:25:27,450
This has been a very entertaining week.
357
00:25:28,850 --> 00:25:35,810
On 23rd, Bomadier Solomons tried to
bribe the
358
00:25:35,810 --> 00:25:36,990
M .O. to say he was not fit.
359
00:25:38,670 --> 00:25:42,590
This failed because the M .O. would not
accept stage money.
360
00:25:47,030 --> 00:25:48,030
24th,
361
00:25:49,469 --> 00:25:53,750
Gunner Macintosh pretended that he had
gone do -la -dee -tap and ran around the
362
00:25:53,750 --> 00:25:56,430
camp shouting, I am mad, I am bonkers,
take me away.
363
00:25:58,990 --> 00:26:01,550
Nobody noticed any difference, so this
did not work either.
364
00:26:03,610 --> 00:26:04,850
Carry on, Sergeant Matros.
365
00:26:06,870 --> 00:26:07,870
Something is doing.
366
00:26:08,190 --> 00:26:10,410
Carbs are rushing about like their flies
are blue.
367
00:26:12,190 --> 00:26:13,830
Is this some kind of a disease?
368
00:26:14,270 --> 00:26:17,390
Like do -be -sitch, only makes them run
much faster.
369
00:26:19,370 --> 00:26:20,370
Now the best attempt yet.
370
00:26:21,190 --> 00:26:26,930
Gunner Beaumont applied to the trick
cyclist for a discharge on the grounds
371
00:26:26,930 --> 00:26:29,730
he was psychologically unfit for
military service.
372
00:26:31,510 --> 00:26:37,390
That did not work either, because rumour
has it that the trick cyclist is also
373
00:26:37,390 --> 00:26:39,030
psychologically unfit for military
service.
374
00:26:40,930 --> 00:26:42,790
It takes one to know one.
375
00:26:44,110 --> 00:26:48,090
Well, lovely boys, the sands is running
out.
376
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,740
Your transport is ticking over at the
vehicle depot.
377
00:26:53,620 --> 00:26:57,320
I have replaced the distributor arm that
disappeared during the night.
378
00:26:58,380 --> 00:26:59,259
No, sir.
379
00:26:59,260 --> 00:27:00,260
Shut up.
380
00:27:01,220 --> 00:27:02,960
The tyres have been reflated.
381
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:09,620
And it only remains for me to say, au
revoir, adieu, goodbye, or as we says in
382
00:27:09,620 --> 00:27:14,520
Wales, toot -de -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee
-dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee
383
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:15,500
-dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee
-dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee
384
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:19,000
-dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee
-dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee
385
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,120
-dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -de
Millford is that way.
386
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:22,940
About 6 ,000 miles.
387
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,400
I just had this letter from a friend of
mine in Delhi.
388
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:32,120
It appears the papers are on the way,
posting Captain Ashford and I up the
389
00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:33,120
jungle.
390
00:27:33,660 --> 00:27:35,500
Oh, well, I'm sorry, sir.
391
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:40,540
Excuse me asking, you haven't got the
actual papers yet, so why are you
392
00:27:40,540 --> 00:27:44,420
now? Well, if we go with the concert
party, our posting will have to be
393
00:27:44,420 --> 00:27:47,540
on to us. And if we move quickly,
they'll never catch up, and we can come
394
00:27:47,540 --> 00:27:48,540
here.
395
00:27:49,340 --> 00:27:50,700
The whole thing would have blown over.
396
00:27:52,180 --> 00:27:53,240
Well, I'll miss you, sir.
397
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,040
Oh, you'd better come along as well.
398
00:27:55,900 --> 00:27:57,660
Oh, with a concert party? Yes, of
course.
399
00:27:58,720 --> 00:27:59,720
Sir.
400
00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:03,960
What's going to happen to Gunner Parkin?
Oh, bring him along too.
401
00:28:04,460 --> 00:28:05,460
Park your kit, Gunner.
402
00:28:05,820 --> 00:28:06,820
Yes, sir.
403
00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:13,060
What about more danger?
404
00:28:14,740 --> 00:28:15,860
Soon clear up in the jungle.
405
00:28:20,750 --> 00:28:21,689
All right, fellas.
406
00:28:21,690 --> 00:28:22,689
Start loading.
407
00:28:22,690 --> 00:28:23,429
That's it.
408
00:28:23,430 --> 00:28:26,010
So, cheer up, shall we? It might be
quite nice.
409
00:28:26,310 --> 00:28:27,990
But at least there's one consolation.
410
00:28:28,190 --> 00:28:30,770
We'll get away from old Sergeant Major
Shutter. Hold it!
411
00:28:31,730 --> 00:28:33,970
What is it? Has the posting been
cancelled?
412
00:28:34,230 --> 00:28:36,090
No, lovely boy, the posting has not been
cancelled.
413
00:28:36,330 --> 00:28:38,030
I am coming with you.
414
00:28:39,830 --> 00:28:44,890
There is one very old Hindu proverb
which says that when you have cholera
415
00:28:44,890 --> 00:28:48,830
beriberi and your wife is having
congress with best friend...
416
00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,700
It does not stop your house from
catching fire.
417
00:29:30,820 --> 00:29:35,800
The boys are here, the boys do entertain
you.
418
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:41,460
B -O -Y -S, boys do entertain you.
33086
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