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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,530 --> 00:00:08,410 Meet the gang cause the boys are here, the boys to entertain you. 2 00:00:09,090 --> 00:00:14,050 With music and laughter to help you on your way, to raising the rafters with a 3 00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:15,050 hey, hey, hey. 4 00:00:15,130 --> 00:00:20,770 With songs and sketches and jokes old and new, with us about you and Phil 5 00:00:20,890 --> 00:00:26,010 So meet the gang cause the boys are here, the boys to entertain you. 6 00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:31,870 B -O -B -O -Y -S, boys to entertain you. 7 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,920 The gang cause the boys are here. 8 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:46,020 Boys to age and age. Your handsome face is all white and leathery. Just like 9 00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:47,300 your daddy Christmas, isn't it? 10 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,240 Holy night. 11 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,320 Silent night. 12 00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:59,220 Holy night. Randy, do me a favour. No cabaret. 13 00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:02,930 Just make sure you sharpen that bit of old tin you call a riser. 14 00:01:03,210 --> 00:01:05,790 Don't you worry, Tom. I will make it sharp as bloody hell. 15 00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:14,390 Somebody at Solomon's, would you please ask Randy to put a sock in it? 16 00:01:14,690 --> 00:01:16,450 Ready, you are out. Is that that? 17 00:01:16,690 --> 00:01:18,430 This is a very delicate operation. 18 00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:20,830 She loves me. 19 00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:22,630 She loves me not. 20 00:01:24,070 --> 00:01:25,370 Will you please build up? 21 00:01:25,810 --> 00:01:27,690 You're not writing home again, are you, Parky? 22 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:31,760 Well, I swapped an ear ago off for five bags. It seems a pity to waste it. 23 00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:35,320 I only write once a month. I can't think of nothing to say. 24 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:37,040 Oh, it's easy. 25 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:42,060 Dear Mum, I hope you're well. The news is quite good. 26 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,280 I've got the deli itch. However, I've got over the runs. 27 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,480 How's Dad? 28 00:01:47,980 --> 00:01:52,340 We've all been confined to barracks by old shutter, though none of us knows 29 00:01:52,540 --> 00:01:54,100 No, we don't. It's a damned disgrace. 30 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,360 It's imprisonment without trial. 31 00:01:56,860 --> 00:02:00,860 That's against habeas corpus, isn't it? They don't have habeas corpus when the 32 00:02:00,860 --> 00:02:01,860 army's done showing. 33 00:02:01,940 --> 00:02:07,100 Hey, what is habeas corpus? Well, it means literally to have the body. 34 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:10,280 We have that in India, sir. We call it Kama Sutra. 35 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,600 Poor Chintanwala. 36 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:18,380 Now, don't say anything. How much? A kitna pie, see? 37 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,300 That's cheap. 38 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:25,060 It costs you half a crowning block, fool. 39 00:02:43,519 --> 00:02:48,020 He wants you to do a design in the sand. Oh, I'm sorry 40 00:02:58,839 --> 00:02:59,860 Oh, goodness gracious. 41 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,200 Is it bad news? 42 00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:02,620 No, no, sir. He has headache. 43 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,980 What's he want now? More money? No, no, sir. He want aspirin. 44 00:03:09,660 --> 00:03:11,500 Tell him to get on with it. He'll have his aspirin later. 45 00:03:13,420 --> 00:03:16,080 Oh, I'm 46 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:22,220 so 47 00:03:22,220 --> 00:03:23,740 glad. 48 00:03:24,460 --> 00:03:26,280 It's such a relief to know, isn't it? 49 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:29,360 Sir, 50 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:32,740 he said they can see it shining through the trees. 51 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,060 We hope next year it's a scarborough. 52 00:03:36,220 --> 00:03:40,620 Sir, he said, do they have jungle in Scarborough? 53 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,260 Jungle? Jungle? 54 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:46,260 It's a swindle. No, no, no, sir. Make another pattern in sand. 55 00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:51,440 I went to a fortune teller once. She told me one day I'd be a soldier. 56 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,820 And who knows, lovely boy, one day it might come true. 57 00:03:55,380 --> 00:04:01,520 What is that man doing in here? 58 00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:03,640 He's a fortune teller, Sergeant Major. 59 00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:05,560 I will tell his fortune. 60 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,900 If he is not out of this bathroom in ten seconds, he will find my toe right up 61 00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:11,900 his jacksy. 62 00:04:23,210 --> 00:04:26,790 Sir, he is cursing you. He says that all your teeth will fall out. 63 00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:29,169 Oh, dear. 64 00:04:29,170 --> 00:04:30,490 How sad. Too late. 65 00:04:32,910 --> 00:04:36,310 Get out of my sight. Better get him off this camp and don't let me see him here 66 00:04:36,310 --> 00:04:39,930 again. Don't you worry, sir. I will quickly give him the bum's rust. Shut 67 00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:41,990 You are a lovely man. 68 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:44,750 Right, 69 00:04:45,070 --> 00:04:47,830 lovely boys. Now, I expect you've been wondering why I asked you not to leave 70 00:04:47,830 --> 00:04:48,830 camp this afternoon. 71 00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:52,220 You didn't ask us, Sergeant Major. You told us we were confined to barracks 72 00:04:52,220 --> 00:04:53,220 until further orders. 73 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:54,860 Oh, dear, did I say that? 74 00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,620 Must have been a slip of the tongue. 75 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:58,760 Because I am not annoyed with you. 76 00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:00,060 Oh, dear me, no. 77 00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:04,360 I just thought we would do a bit of rehearsing. 78 00:05:05,940 --> 00:05:07,400 But isn't that what you're going to ask me what for? 79 00:05:11,820 --> 00:05:13,160 What for, Sergeant Major? 80 00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:15,340 Good boy. 81 00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:17,079 Nicely put. 82 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:18,080 Very polite. 83 00:05:20,490 --> 00:05:21,910 What for, said this smart young soldier? 84 00:05:24,050 --> 00:05:25,110 I will tell you. 85 00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:26,850 It's Saturday afternoon. 86 00:05:27,170 --> 00:05:28,170 There's nobody about. 87 00:05:28,350 --> 00:05:31,990 Nobody can see you. So I thought we would rehearse the flag ceremony. 88 00:05:33,370 --> 00:05:36,390 What is the flag ceremony, Lofty? 89 00:05:37,450 --> 00:05:38,990 I don't know, Sergeant Major. 90 00:05:39,910 --> 00:05:41,650 I will tell you, Lofty boy. 91 00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:46,730 It happens when the sun is setting. 92 00:05:47,790 --> 00:05:48,790 A detachment. 93 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:56,040 of hand -picked smart soldiers, salutes the Union Jack and lowers it while the 94 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,320 bugler plays the last post. 95 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:02,760 He's bringing tears to your eyes already, boy. 96 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,220 You've been eating onions. 97 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:14,160 Now, who is going to volunteer for this rehearsal? 98 00:06:16,590 --> 00:06:20,010 Well, it might help you lovely boys to make up your minds when I tell you that 99 00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:23,610 them that does not volunteer will be doubling around the barrack square in 100 00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:26,690 service marching order until we are finished. That is what I love to see! 101 00:06:28,030 --> 00:06:29,030 Keen soldiers! 102 00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:31,670 Parade outside on the parade ground. 103 00:06:32,150 --> 00:06:33,290 Get on parade! 104 00:06:33,650 --> 00:06:34,650 Oh! 105 00:06:38,650 --> 00:06:40,470 You old dozy idle fellow! 106 00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:43,030 Rise and shine! And pull your damps! 107 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,060 And shit up straight with your punkering. 108 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:55,840 Revolution. 109 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,440 And don't be such clever dicky. 110 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:11,280 Sergeant Major is going to make the concert party pull down the onion jack. 111 00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:17,170 in many bags of bull. 112 00:07:17,450 --> 00:07:20,770 Why are they doing this, Rangi? 113 00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:25,890 Are the British going to quit India like the way we have been suggesting by 114 00:07:25,890 --> 00:07:27,390 throwing stones at them? 115 00:07:27,770 --> 00:07:29,570 No, no, you ignorant coolie. 116 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,530 This is part of British empire way of life. 117 00:07:32,810 --> 00:07:36,010 Have you not heard them say sun never set on British flag? 118 00:07:36,310 --> 00:07:37,950 Uh -huh. You know how they're doing that? 119 00:07:38,330 --> 00:07:41,190 Well, I'm telling you. They are jolly smart monkeys. 120 00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:44,410 You know what they're doing? They are taking down flag. 121 00:07:44,810 --> 00:07:47,030 After tea and before gin and tonic. 122 00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:49,590 Right. 123 00:07:49,850 --> 00:07:50,850 Pay attention. 124 00:07:51,770 --> 00:07:53,630 Gunnarsagden, are you listening, Gunnarsagden? 125 00:07:54,130 --> 00:07:55,250 Yes, Sergeant Major. 126 00:07:56,090 --> 00:07:58,770 Gunnarsagden, two paces forward, march! 127 00:08:02,050 --> 00:08:07,070 I have been doing a bit of snooping at your records, and from that it 128 00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:12,670 that Gunnarsagden here was for two years a member of the boys' bugle band. 129 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:14,840 Is that right? 130 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:16,440 Yes, Sergeant Major. 131 00:08:17,260 --> 00:08:19,920 And, of course, he joined the army and we started to win the war. 132 00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:27,580 You know what that is, don't you? 133 00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:31,060 A bugle. 134 00:08:32,539 --> 00:08:33,539 Good boy. 135 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,000 Now, do you know the tune of the last post? 136 00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:39,860 Yes, Sergeant Major. 137 00:08:41,539 --> 00:08:42,860 When I give the word... 138 00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:44,179 You will play it. 139 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,560 There's just one thing, Sergeant Major. No arguments. 140 00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:52,780 Stand over there and wait till I give the word. 141 00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:59,520 Sergeant Major has given his trumpet to Lafty South. 142 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:00,860 Why is he doing this? 143 00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:03,020 This is part of British code, Mohammed. 144 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:04,460 The British code? 145 00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:08,200 True British gentleman never blows own trumpet. 146 00:09:13,610 --> 00:09:15,010 knows how to present arms, don't you? 147 00:09:15,370 --> 00:09:19,010 Even you, Mr. Lauderdale, going to Graham with your university education is 148 00:09:19,010 --> 00:09:20,270 too stupid to do that, is you? 149 00:09:20,650 --> 00:09:24,870 Well, we're rather inclined to do it at different speeds, Sergeant Major. 150 00:09:28,510 --> 00:09:29,850 Different speeds, Sergeant Major? 151 00:09:31,690 --> 00:09:36,350 What you may not have been learnt at Oxford and at Cambridge is how to fold 152 00:09:36,350 --> 00:09:37,830 flag. Get a bomb on it. 153 00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:39,790 Cop all of the two ends. 154 00:09:49,290 --> 00:09:52,370 On command one, you will bring two ends together. 155 00:09:52,690 --> 00:09:59,590 On command two, bring the right hand 156 00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:00,590 down to the bottom corner. 157 00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:05,710 Make sure to hold the top part secure with the thumb and forefinger of the 158 00:10:05,710 --> 00:10:12,650 hand. On command three, bring both ends 159 00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:14,030 horizontal once again. 160 00:10:24,780 --> 00:10:26,760 He did, Sergeant Major. I was watching. 161 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,320 Shut up. 162 00:10:28,740 --> 00:10:29,740 You were. 163 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,080 Back to faith! 164 00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:46,880 You are doing it deliberate, aren't you? 165 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,220 Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but really, it's quite simple. 166 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,200 You're facing him, you see. 167 00:10:53,660 --> 00:10:56,420 So when you use your right hand, he must use his left. 168 00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,440 And vice versa, of course. 169 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,740 Thank you, Professor Einstein. 170 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,720 When I want your help, I will ask for it. 171 00:11:06,940 --> 00:11:07,940 As you were. 172 00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:11,140 One, two, three. 173 00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:18,780 On a command, four, you will take three... 174 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,080 Yes, Sergeant Major. 175 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:31,680 What 176 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:40,000 are 177 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,460 you doing with your right foot? 178 00:11:43,340 --> 00:11:46,320 It's my fault, Sergeant Major. I've been making him practice that for the 179 00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:47,520 dancing cheek -to -cheek number. 180 00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:51,600 My compliments to Ginger Rogers, you. 181 00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,660 that if you do not put her right foot on the ground, she will be dancing cheek 182 00:11:56,660 --> 00:11:57,740 to cheek in the glass house. 183 00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,500 Go! 184 00:11:59,620 --> 00:12:00,920 Oh, that lovely song. 185 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,960 Heaven, I'm in heaven. 186 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,000 Oh, oh, oh. 187 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:09,740 And my heart... Shut up! 188 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,580 If there's one thing I cannot stand, it's Indian music. 189 00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:23,000 On the command five, you will commence to roll the flag. 190 00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,670 Starting at the top. 191 00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:25,910 Hey! 192 00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:36,950 There. Now you'd better iron it before you use it again, otherwise it won't be 193 00:12:36,950 --> 00:12:37,950 fit to be seen. 194 00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:42,530 Why, we have still got some insanity left. 195 00:12:43,990 --> 00:12:46,410 We will pass on to the actual loading ceremony. 196 00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:48,530 Can I park it? Sir? 197 00:12:48,910 --> 00:12:50,190 Stand by on the string. 198 00:12:50,550 --> 00:12:51,550 Yes, sir. 199 00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:53,130 The guard, Commander. 200 00:12:53,610 --> 00:12:55,490 gives the order to present arms. 201 00:12:55,770 --> 00:13:02,510 And when this maneuver has been completed, the spring man commences to 202 00:13:02,510 --> 00:13:09,210 Union Jack slowly and relevantly while the bugler plays the last 203 00:13:09,210 --> 00:13:10,210 post. 204 00:13:10,450 --> 00:13:11,750 Is that clear? 205 00:13:13,070 --> 00:13:14,110 Sergeant Major. 206 00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:15,350 Shut up. 207 00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:32,560 If I could make a suggestion, I could hum it, Sergeant Major. 208 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:48,100 the Union Jack will not be lowered while La -di -da Gunner Graham sings La -di 209 00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:49,100 -da. 210 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,600 It will be lowered in a relevant silence. 211 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:41,110 What rotten to do? Our glorious Union Jack has got knotted? 212 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:49,590 Right! Now you will note that at the base of this piaster there is a pin. 213 00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:56,510 I am going to extract that pin, whereupon the flagpole will fall right 214 00:15:56,510 --> 00:15:57,510 there. 215 00:15:58,890 --> 00:16:03,090 And you better catch it, because otherwise it will hammer you into the 216 00:16:06,990 --> 00:16:08,250 a second who's halfway there already. 217 00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:11,590 Can I pardon you? 218 00:16:11,730 --> 00:16:12,990 Sir? Come by here. 219 00:16:14,210 --> 00:16:15,210 Yes, sir. 220 00:16:18,090 --> 00:16:22,870 You will stand by to take the pin when I have extracted it. Yes, sir. 221 00:16:23,510 --> 00:16:25,690 Stand by. 222 00:16:30,710 --> 00:16:31,710 Pin! 223 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,980 What an act. It broke the house down. 224 00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,400 Here we are again. 225 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:01,580 Empty bucket. 226 00:17:13,099 --> 00:17:14,099 I have good news. 227 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:17,119 Roof mending water coming tomorrow to take away hole. 228 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:20,940 Hey, Farah. Yes, sir. 229 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:29,680 This Krishna Godfarer you praise to, is he any good like? 230 00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:30,860 Yes, sir, Mr. Sir. 231 00:17:31,020 --> 00:17:32,020 Very good. 232 00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:33,840 Very powerful and merciful, sir. 233 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,460 Just like your own God, only more sexy. 234 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:44,460 What I mean like is, When you praise to him, do it work? 235 00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:48,940 Oh, yes, sir. If Krishna hear your prayer, it work every time, sir. 236 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:52,300 Unfortunately, in India, line very busy. 237 00:17:54,540 --> 00:18:00,180 But, sir, if you want to get rid of hole, do not pray. Wait for roof 238 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:01,180 wall. 239 00:18:04,540 --> 00:18:05,540 Krishna. 240 00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:15,290 Hare... Hare Krishna. 241 00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:19,630 I'm only an humble Satyam major. 242 00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:22,290 I'm not very important. 243 00:18:24,090 --> 00:18:25,510 I'm not very holy either. 244 00:18:27,710 --> 00:18:34,590 But if you want a lifelong friend, help me, please. 245 00:18:36,050 --> 00:18:40,630 Help me to get that bloody concert party up the jungle. 246 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,690 We must have a few gins tonight, Nigel. I wish you bon voyage. 247 00:18:49,130 --> 00:18:52,190 Yes. I say, it's all rather sudden, isn't it? Well, that's how these things 248 00:18:52,190 --> 00:18:53,190 happen, you know. 249 00:18:53,330 --> 00:18:56,090 Anyway, 12 o 'clock tomorrow, and it's me for the other car. 250 00:18:56,390 --> 00:18:59,190 But you won't actually be doing any of the fighting, of course, will you? No, 251 00:18:59,190 --> 00:19:01,450 not this time. No, they put me in charge of welfare. 252 00:19:02,090 --> 00:19:03,870 Oh, you mean billiard tables and things. 253 00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:05,210 I don't see that. 254 00:19:05,610 --> 00:19:07,490 They don't have billiard tables in the jungle. 255 00:19:07,910 --> 00:19:08,910 I'm awfully sorry, sir. 256 00:19:09,330 --> 00:19:11,150 They couldn't level them. 257 00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:18,940 No, I think it's just books. and entertainment and the cinema and drafts 258 00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:22,420 things. What a shame you won't be here tomorrow night to see the new show. 259 00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:24,960 Yes, pity all of them. I didn't know you had a concert party. 260 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:26,560 What sort of things do they do? 261 00:19:26,940 --> 00:19:28,400 They're doing a night in Havana. 262 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,460 Several of them dress up as girls. 263 00:19:31,260 --> 00:19:34,600 Then this chap comes along selling peanuts. 264 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:36,860 And he sings, peanuts. 265 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:40,720 Sounds rather good. 266 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,180 I suppose I couldn't borrow them for a couple of weeks. 267 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:45,380 I don't think I could do that. 268 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:49,060 Oh, you could, sir. I mean, well, the dapple's not very full, sir, and them 269 00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:52,120 boys up the jungle, they need joking and relaxation. 270 00:19:52,660 --> 00:19:55,000 Yeah, they dress up as girls, you say? 271 00:19:55,540 --> 00:19:56,540 Girls, sir? 272 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,100 They're lifelike. You can't tell them apart. 273 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:00,560 Really? 274 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,440 Yeah, well, of course, they don't have a roughage, you know. 275 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,200 They spend most of their time in the back of a three -tommer, have to sleep 276 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,200 the ground. 277 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:08,720 They'd revel in it, sir. 278 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,520 As long as they can entertain, you know, sir, it's in their blood, you see. 279 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:15,840 I suppose I could spare them for a week or two. 280 00:20:16,220 --> 00:20:18,960 I tell you what, we'll get them to give an audition after tipping, and then you 281 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:19,960 can see if they're up to scratch. 282 00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:21,320 I'll go and get her ready for it soon. 283 00:20:23,660 --> 00:20:28,000 I want you to take a special chitty to the concert party, Basha. 284 00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:33,100 Hey, that Krishna God, if he was, he's pretty good, isn't he? 285 00:20:55,860 --> 00:20:59,420 Peanuts! Very good, very good indeed. 286 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:03,600 Of course, of course, we normally throw peanuts at the audience, but you being 287 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:04,780 officers, we didn't like to do that. 288 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:14,080 The commanding officer can be persuaded to let you go. You're absolutely right 289 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,080 for my orders. 290 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:16,400 Stay down for a minute. 291 00:21:16,620 --> 00:21:17,620 Now! 292 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,240 Well done, boys. I'm proud of you. Carry on, Bombardier. 293 00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:26,940 Here, raise it, raise it. Who is he, anyway? 294 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:31,680 Oh, Thab, he is B .I .C. B .I .C.? Ah, Thab, very important colonel. 295 00:21:32,620 --> 00:21:37,000 He is from Denny Thab, and Sergeant Major Thab says that he is big C's in 296 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,200 entertainment and billy balls, isn't it? 297 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,200 A proper orchestra. 298 00:21:51,660 --> 00:21:56,200 And sir, I will wear silver bang round turban and flower behind your own. Yeah, 299 00:21:56,200 --> 00:22:01,020 of course. And I shall polish my tea urn and fill it with half a pound of very 300 00:22:01,020 --> 00:22:02,080 best typhoon tips. 301 00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:11,740 At long 302 00:22:11,740 --> 00:22:17,850 last, I shall be a... Star. Yes, lovely boy, you will be a star. Get telling, 303 00:22:17,930 --> 00:22:21,070 boys. The Colonel is very proud of you, and so am I. 304 00:22:21,830 --> 00:22:24,590 You passed the audition with flying colours. 305 00:22:24,870 --> 00:22:26,990 You mean he's going to let us go? Yes, he is. 306 00:22:27,770 --> 00:22:31,390 He didn't want to, mind, but I persuaded him. 307 00:22:33,430 --> 00:22:35,010 Gee, thanks, Sergeant Major. 308 00:22:35,650 --> 00:22:39,490 Well, we've had our differences in the past, haven't we? But that's all over 309 00:22:39,490 --> 00:22:40,490 now, isn't it? 310 00:22:41,090 --> 00:22:42,730 Yeah, of course it is, Sergeant Major. 311 00:22:43,310 --> 00:22:44,610 And to show there's no hard feelings. 312 00:22:45,130 --> 00:22:49,110 I would like you to put a little request number in the show to remind you of me. 313 00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,050 You name it, Sergeant Major. 314 00:22:51,890 --> 00:22:53,870 Can I say that? Yes, Sergeant Major. 315 00:22:54,170 --> 00:22:56,770 Do you know that lovely old song, Trees? 316 00:22:57,030 --> 00:22:58,030 I think so. 317 00:22:58,890 --> 00:22:59,890 How's it go? 318 00:23:00,170 --> 00:23:03,490 I think that I shall never see... 319 00:23:13,580 --> 00:23:14,780 You sing that song for me. 320 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,580 Because where you are going, the scenery will be just right. 321 00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:22,080 Do you know where you were doing a show? 322 00:23:22,820 --> 00:23:23,820 Up the jungle. 323 00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:25,600 Shut up. 324 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,640 We thought he was an entertainment officer in Delhi. He was. 325 00:23:29,100 --> 00:23:31,900 But now he's going to do shows deep, deep, deep in the jungle. 326 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,080 And you know he'll be waiting for you at the stage door going to Beaumont. 327 00:23:35,260 --> 00:23:36,620 Lovely little sand -eyed Japanese. 328 00:23:38,060 --> 00:23:41,720 Right. So yours you will order is Bombardier, the Royal Island. Artillery 329 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,860 concert party will report at 1200 hours on Monday, ready for moving off. 330 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:52,200 All except for Gunner Parkins, who will report sick tomorrow morning. 331 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,160 Report sick? 332 00:23:54,500 --> 00:23:55,760 Why? What's wrong with me? 333 00:23:56,980 --> 00:23:57,980 We don't know, boy. 334 00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:01,460 That is why we have to see the M .O. 335 00:24:11,340 --> 00:24:15,240 My dear sir, in this one I have put all your greasy paint. 336 00:24:16,860 --> 00:24:22,160 Your buddy Flanagan's coat and hat, your Groucho Marxist spectacles, and your 337 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:23,320 Teddy Brown's tummy, sir. 338 00:24:24,420 --> 00:24:25,299 What's that? 339 00:24:25,300 --> 00:24:26,300 Sir, that is mine. 340 00:24:27,020 --> 00:24:28,060 Where's the rest of your stuff? 341 00:24:28,620 --> 00:24:30,520 Your stuff? That is all I have, sir. 342 00:24:31,100 --> 00:24:35,340 Except for this one letter, sir, from Lieutenant Barber, to whom I was bearer 343 00:24:35,340 --> 00:24:36,299 two years, sir. 344 00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:40,360 And in it he writes that I am top old fellow and jolly good all -round chap. 345 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:44,840 All right, fellas, those that haven't can smoke. 346 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,800 Truck a beer in five minutes. 347 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:48,800 Look at that, Parkey. 348 00:24:49,540 --> 00:24:50,660 Isn't that a beautiful sight? 349 00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:52,800 I wish I was going with him. 350 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:54,720 Oh, you couldn't, boy. 351 00:24:55,300 --> 00:24:56,420 Not in your state of health. 352 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,900 I didn't know Dandruff could be that serious. 353 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,400 Well, I suppose I'd better bid him a fond farewell. 354 00:25:18,670 --> 00:25:23,010 we shall be forever parted. Oh, dearie me, he is saying goodbye to groups. 355 00:25:23,270 --> 00:25:24,590 My eyes will cry. 356 00:25:25,270 --> 00:25:27,450 This has been a very entertaining week. 357 00:25:28,850 --> 00:25:35,810 On 23rd, Bomadier Solomons tried to bribe the 358 00:25:35,810 --> 00:25:36,990 M .O. to say he was not fit. 359 00:25:38,670 --> 00:25:42,590 This failed because the M .O. would not accept stage money. 360 00:25:47,030 --> 00:25:48,030 24th, 361 00:25:49,469 --> 00:25:53,750 Gunner Macintosh pretended that he had gone do -la -dee -tap and ran around the 362 00:25:53,750 --> 00:25:56,430 camp shouting, I am mad, I am bonkers, take me away. 363 00:25:58,990 --> 00:26:01,550 Nobody noticed any difference, so this did not work either. 364 00:26:03,610 --> 00:26:04,850 Carry on, Sergeant Matros. 365 00:26:06,870 --> 00:26:07,870 Something is doing. 366 00:26:08,190 --> 00:26:10,410 Carbs are rushing about like their flies are blue. 367 00:26:12,190 --> 00:26:13,830 Is this some kind of a disease? 368 00:26:14,270 --> 00:26:17,390 Like do -be -sitch, only makes them run much faster. 369 00:26:19,370 --> 00:26:20,370 Now the best attempt yet. 370 00:26:21,190 --> 00:26:26,930 Gunner Beaumont applied to the trick cyclist for a discharge on the grounds 371 00:26:26,930 --> 00:26:29,730 he was psychologically unfit for military service. 372 00:26:31,510 --> 00:26:37,390 That did not work either, because rumour has it that the trick cyclist is also 373 00:26:37,390 --> 00:26:39,030 psychologically unfit for military service. 374 00:26:40,930 --> 00:26:42,790 It takes one to know one. 375 00:26:44,110 --> 00:26:48,090 Well, lovely boys, the sands is running out. 376 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,740 Your transport is ticking over at the vehicle depot. 377 00:26:53,620 --> 00:26:57,320 I have replaced the distributor arm that disappeared during the night. 378 00:26:58,380 --> 00:26:59,259 No, sir. 379 00:26:59,260 --> 00:27:00,260 Shut up. 380 00:27:01,220 --> 00:27:02,960 The tyres have been reflated. 381 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:09,620 And it only remains for me to say, au revoir, adieu, goodbye, or as we says in 382 00:27:09,620 --> 00:27:14,520 Wales, toot -de -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee 383 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:15,500 -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee 384 00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:19,000 -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee 385 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,120 -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -dee -de Millford is that way. 386 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:22,940 About 6 ,000 miles. 387 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,400 I just had this letter from a friend of mine in Delhi. 388 00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:32,120 It appears the papers are on the way, posting Captain Ashford and I up the 389 00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:33,120 jungle. 390 00:27:33,660 --> 00:27:35,500 Oh, well, I'm sorry, sir. 391 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:40,540 Excuse me asking, you haven't got the actual papers yet, so why are you 392 00:27:40,540 --> 00:27:44,420 now? Well, if we go with the concert party, our posting will have to be 393 00:27:44,420 --> 00:27:47,540 on to us. And if we move quickly, they'll never catch up, and we can come 394 00:27:47,540 --> 00:27:48,540 here. 395 00:27:49,340 --> 00:27:50,700 The whole thing would have blown over. 396 00:27:52,180 --> 00:27:53,240 Well, I'll miss you, sir. 397 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,040 Oh, you'd better come along as well. 398 00:27:55,900 --> 00:27:57,660 Oh, with a concert party? Yes, of course. 399 00:27:58,720 --> 00:27:59,720 Sir. 400 00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:03,960 What's going to happen to Gunner Parkin? Oh, bring him along too. 401 00:28:04,460 --> 00:28:05,460 Park your kit, Gunner. 402 00:28:05,820 --> 00:28:06,820 Yes, sir. 403 00:28:11,940 --> 00:28:13,060 What about more danger? 404 00:28:14,740 --> 00:28:15,860 Soon clear up in the jungle. 405 00:28:20,750 --> 00:28:21,689 All right, fellas. 406 00:28:21,690 --> 00:28:22,689 Start loading. 407 00:28:22,690 --> 00:28:23,429 That's it. 408 00:28:23,430 --> 00:28:26,010 So, cheer up, shall we? It might be quite nice. 409 00:28:26,310 --> 00:28:27,990 But at least there's one consolation. 410 00:28:28,190 --> 00:28:30,770 We'll get away from old Sergeant Major Shutter. Hold it! 411 00:28:31,730 --> 00:28:33,970 What is it? Has the posting been cancelled? 412 00:28:34,230 --> 00:28:36,090 No, lovely boy, the posting has not been cancelled. 413 00:28:36,330 --> 00:28:38,030 I am coming with you. 414 00:28:39,830 --> 00:28:44,890 There is one very old Hindu proverb which says that when you have cholera 415 00:28:44,890 --> 00:28:48,830 beriberi and your wife is having congress with best friend... 416 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,700 It does not stop your house from catching fire. 417 00:29:30,820 --> 00:29:35,800 The boys are here, the boys do entertain you. 418 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:41,460 B -O -Y -S, boys do entertain you. 33086

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