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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:32,815 --> 00:00:33,516 Men 2 00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:36,852 lurking in bushes 3 00:00:37,153 --> 00:00:40,489 in parks, public parks. 4 00:00:40,489 --> 00:00:42,858 Don't they worry about insects? 5 00:00:43,926 --> 00:00:46,095 What if a mosquito, you know, down there? 6 00:00:47,129 --> 00:00:50,466 And those bookstores, come on, a hole in the wall. 7 00:00:51,367 --> 00:00:53,502 They don't know who, or what's on the other side. 8 00:00:53,502 --> 00:00:55,304 Like disease isn't enough. 9 00:00:55,304 --> 00:00:57,540 What about splinters? 10 00:00:57,707 --> 00:00:59,909 Not that they’d care, the way they’re pierced, 11 00:00:59,909 --> 00:01:02,979 holes everywhere, even their 12 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:03,913 well, yeah, exactly. 13 00:01:03,913 --> 00:01:05,881 I've never even touched myself 14 00:01:05,881 --> 00:01:08,250 some places those, you know, have 15 00:01:09,118 --> 00:01:09,952 pierced. 16 00:01:11,253 --> 00:01:12,054 And yeah, I know, I know 17 00:01:12,054 --> 00:01:13,189 they're not all like that. 18 00:01:13,189 --> 00:01:14,991 I watched Oprah. 19 00:01:15,124 --> 00:01:17,193 But, the ones that aren't, you think they're not as bad? 20 00:01:18,094 --> 00:01:20,563 I'm open minded and all that slop. Guy wanna wear a dress, 21 00:01:21,130 --> 00:01:23,833 hey, free country. 22 00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:29,171 But some of them, flowery sun dresses, and they got beards. 23 00:01:30,106 --> 00:01:30,706 I mean, 24 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,943 I've seen, at one of those parades 25 00:01:34,610 --> 00:01:38,514 on the TV. I saw the parade on TV. 26 00:01:41,317 --> 00:01:43,319 I know every guy's not 27 00:01:43,319 --> 00:01:45,488 I mean, I'm not 28 00:01:45,788 --> 00:01:49,458 I look in the mirror and I don't see much, but 29 00:01:52,962 --> 00:01:56,032 I need off, off, off it all. 30 00:01:56,799 --> 00:01:58,534 I've been losing 31 00:01:58,534 --> 00:02:00,636 track of things. 32 00:02:02,471 --> 00:02:05,041 Please, tell me, what things? 33 00:02:07,376 --> 00:02:08,277 Last week, 34 00:02:08,277 --> 00:02:10,679 I kind of sort of lost count of some pills. 35 00:02:11,514 --> 00:02:13,749 Made me think maybe it might be time to see someone. 36 00:02:15,551 --> 00:02:16,118 You understand 37 00:02:16,118 --> 00:02:17,219 I'm a psychologist, 38 00:02:17,219 --> 00:02:19,388 not a psychiatrist. 39 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:20,756 So? 40 00:02:20,756 --> 00:02:23,092 I'd like you to see a psychiatrist. 41 00:02:23,826 --> 00:02:25,461 I'm that far gone? 42 00:02:25,461 --> 00:02:25,895 Why not you? 43 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:28,330 No. In addition. A psychiatrist 44 00:02:28,330 --> 00:02:30,433 for a medication consult. For depression. 45 00:02:32,435 --> 00:02:33,769 Me? Here? 46 00:02:33,769 --> 00:02:34,904 I'm miles from depressed. 47 00:02:36,205 --> 00:02:37,473 I heard mention of suicide. 48 00:02:37,473 --> 00:02:39,375 I flushed those pills. They’re sewage. I swear. 49 00:02:41,377 --> 00:02:42,978 Do you still think about suicide? 50 00:02:42,978 --> 00:02:44,780 I don't think about anything. 51 00:02:44,780 --> 00:02:45,748 Wake up, my brain, 52 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:48,684 I might as well, you know, give in. 53 00:02:51,787 --> 00:02:52,221 Look, I'm 54 00:02:52,221 --> 00:02:54,256 not going to kill anyone, including myself. 55 00:02:55,624 --> 00:02:57,226 Convince me. 56 00:02:59,528 --> 00:03:01,664 Uh, that pill stuff, 57 00:03:03,699 --> 00:03:04,600 I kind of, sort of lied. 58 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,936 I never took pills. 59 00:03:10,573 --> 00:03:13,642 And you'll kindly explain, why the lie? 60 00:03:13,642 --> 00:03:15,744 What, you don't ever lie? 61 00:03:15,845 --> 00:03:16,278 Frank. 62 00:03:16,278 --> 00:03:17,847 I'm the therapist, 63 00:03:17,847 --> 00:03:19,949 which allows me to answer your questions, 64 00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:20,583 with a question. 65 00:03:20,616 --> 00:03:22,451 You, on the other hand, 66 00:03:22,451 --> 00:03:24,553 cannot. Now, why the lie? 67 00:03:27,556 --> 00:03:28,090 Well, 68 00:03:28,090 --> 00:03:30,960 you asked what I wanted off of, and I panicked. 69 00:03:32,695 --> 00:03:34,797 Then I'll ask again. 70 00:03:35,498 --> 00:03:37,533 Of what would you like off? 71 00:03:39,335 --> 00:03:40,136 You know, 72 00:03:40,136 --> 00:03:41,103 yeah? 73 00:03:41,904 --> 00:03:42,938 Correct. 74 00:03:44,273 --> 00:03:45,107 So? 75 00:03:45,741 --> 00:03:47,276 I can't cure you. 76 00:03:47,276 --> 00:03:49,979 Your suffering isn't from a disease. 77 00:03:49,979 --> 00:03:51,714 I thought you did that type of counseling. 78 00:03:53,115 --> 00:03:53,482 Frank, 79 00:03:53,482 --> 00:03:55,584 would you like it to be a disease? 80 00:03:55,584 --> 00:03:57,253 So a pill would make it disappear? 81 00:03:57,253 --> 00:03:59,622 That pill--I'd kill for. 82 00:03:59,622 --> 00:04:01,690 The quick fix, huh? 83 00:04:01,790 --> 00:04:04,293 Change requires more than a pill. 84 00:04:04,293 --> 00:04:05,961 The difficulty of it now, 85 00:04:05,961 --> 00:04:07,663 isn't diddly-doo compared to 86 00:04:07,663 --> 00:04:09,031 the difficulty of changing it. 87 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:10,666 You think you're up to such difficulty? 88 00:04:10,666 --> 00:04:12,368 Told you, I don't think. 89 00:04:12,368 --> 00:04:15,304 Working with me requires you start. 90 00:04:16,505 --> 00:04:19,275 I do have other clients with identity 91 00:04:19,275 --> 00:04:22,244 disorder issues experiencing similar pain to yours. 92 00:04:22,511 --> 00:04:24,980 I understand English, usually, so talk it. Huh? 93 00:04:27,249 --> 00:04:29,618 Many of my clients, as we proceed 94 00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:33,022 discover their interests, interests of which 95 00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:36,025 you wish to be freed, lessen, and eventually disappear. 96 00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,526 So you do-- 97 00:04:37,526 --> 00:04:39,962 I help people create lives that work. 98 00:04:39,962 --> 00:04:41,530 If it disappears, 99 00:04:41,530 --> 00:04:43,933 then many of my clients seem pleased by the byproduct. 100 00:04:44,233 --> 00:04:45,100 Fuck yeah. 101 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:49,572 You desire change. 102 00:04:49,905 --> 00:04:51,607 Are you prepared for the most grueling journey 103 00:04:51,607 --> 00:04:53,108 of your life? 104 00:04:56,245 --> 00:04:57,913 I understand English always, 105 00:04:57,913 --> 00:04:59,615 so talk it. Are you prepared 106 00:04:59,615 --> 00:05:01,116 I don’t know. 107 00:05:03,752 --> 00:05:04,687 Well, if you ever do know, 108 00:05:04,687 --> 00:05:07,723 feel free to schedule another appointment. 109 00:05:07,723 --> 00:05:10,025 If not, of course, I wish you the best. 110 00:07:03,372 --> 00:07:04,973 Wow. 111 00:07:05,507 --> 00:07:05,908 Whatever 112 00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:07,643 vitamin you’re taking 113 00:07:07,643 --> 00:07:08,911 Vitamin L. 114 00:07:09,144 --> 00:07:11,447 L? Love? Lust? 115 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:12,815 Lecher-osity? 116 00:07:12,815 --> 00:07:15,651 Lying. What an aphrodisiac. 117 00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:18,287 Details! 118 00:07:19,088 --> 00:07:19,855 Okay. 119 00:07:20,689 --> 00:07:23,192 Our initial therapist/client chitchat was of the 120 00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:25,861 perfectly blah blah genre, that you as a psychologist, 121 00:07:25,861 --> 00:07:27,896 I assume, are excessively familiar with. 122 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,399 Until the good doctor says, “pull down your pants.” 123 00:07:30,399 --> 00:07:31,967 And I say, “excuse me, Big Daddy-O, 124 00:07:31,967 --> 00:07:33,268 you're hardly my type.” 125 00:07:33,268 --> 00:07:34,203 But in the name of solid 126 00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:36,171 investigative reporting, I decide to drop 127 00:07:36,171 --> 00:07:37,673 my very brief, briefs. 128 00:07:37,673 --> 00:07:40,376 Then Dr. Frankenstein slaps electrodes to my low hanging 129 00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:42,144 and extraordinarily oversized man-balls 130 00:07:42,144 --> 00:07:45,080 And I’m thinking, oh, my God, how did I let my dear, sweet 131 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,116 son-of-a-bitch Jonathan, talk me into this? 132 00:07:47,816 --> 00:07:49,618 He shows me a slide of this naked toy-boy- 133 00:07:49,618 --> 00:07:51,453 beauty-boy, and I'm thinking, well, 134 00:07:51,453 --> 00:07:54,957 this isn't so bad. Until this electric shock zaps me 135 00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:56,358 and suddenly I'm prancing around 136 00:07:56,358 --> 00:07:58,227 like I'm auditioning for the City Ballet. 137 00:07:58,227 --> 00:07:59,328 He flips off the switch, 138 00:07:59,328 --> 00:08:01,363 and the instant the current stops, the hunk-a-rama 139 00:08:01,363 --> 00:08:02,831 slide is replaced with a slide 140 00:08:02,831 --> 00:08:05,300 of an, objectively, rather uninteresting 141 00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:06,702 naked woman. 142 00:08:06,702 --> 00:08:09,371 You know, men equal pain. Women equal relief. 143 00:08:10,572 --> 00:08:12,341 As if I needed an electric shock 144 00:08:12,341 --> 00:08:16,278 to teach me that men equal pain. 145 00:08:16,979 --> 00:08:17,646 No dinner 146 00:08:17,646 --> 00:08:20,716 ‘till you tell me what really happened. 147 00:08:20,716 --> 00:08:22,684 Well, I knew I was in trouble when he put on the 148 00:08:22,684 --> 00:08:23,385 rubber gloves. 149 00:08:23,385 --> 00:08:23,952 Frank. 150 00:08:23,952 --> 00:08:25,721 Okay, okay. I'll tell you. 151 00:08:25,721 --> 00:08:28,023 For you, my love, nothing but the truth. 152 00:08:31,693 --> 00:08:34,463 I pulled it off. 153 00:08:36,131 --> 00:08:38,133 I should have been an actor instead of a writer. 154 00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:39,101 I was so butch. 155 00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:40,169 More perfectly butch 156 00:08:40,169 --> 00:08:41,937 than I ever dreamed I could be. 157 00:08:41,937 --> 00:08:45,174 Sweetie, you can be butch. 158 00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:47,142 But I was petrified that I would lose control 159 00:08:47,142 --> 00:08:48,410 and my voice would rise an octave 160 00:08:48,410 --> 00:08:49,678 and the spirit of Judy Garland 161 00:08:49,678 --> 00:08:51,146 would burst from my body. 162 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:52,848 When is the spirit of Judy Garland 163 00:08:52,848 --> 00:08:54,583 ever burst from your body? 164 00:08:54,583 --> 00:08:55,984 Exactly. But what if my first session 165 00:08:55,984 --> 00:08:57,519 with Frankenstein was the moment 166 00:08:57,519 --> 00:08:59,555 when all my nelliness first surfaced? 167 00:09:00,155 --> 00:09:01,824 You're being a tad offensive, you know. 168 00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:04,960 That's the point. 169 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:08,096 I dripped a self-loathing, so terrifyingly 170 00:09:08,096 --> 00:09:11,333 easy to find in myself. 171 00:09:13,368 --> 00:09:15,070 I was the perfect public service 172 00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:18,941 announcement for fag haters. 173 00:09:20,442 --> 00:09:21,143 We're gonna nail 174 00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:24,446 this guy. 175 00:09:24,446 --> 00:09:27,316 But, get this. 176 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,585 Not once did he utter the word 177 00:09:29,585 --> 00:09:32,154 g-g-g-g-gay, like he'd spew fuzzy green chunks if the 178 00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,423 dreaded G-word passed his lips. 179 00:09:34,423 --> 00:09:37,493 So I figured next session-- chunks. 180 00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:38,861 But what else? 181 00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,429 I need coaching. 182 00:09:40,429 --> 00:09:43,765 If you were him, exactly what would you be expecting? 183 00:09:43,765 --> 00:09:45,901 Well, if I were he, 184 00:09:47,202 --> 00:09:49,538 I'd expect lots of doubts. 185 00:09:49,538 --> 00:09:51,039 Lots of questions. 186 00:09:51,039 --> 00:09:53,675 Okay, I've got questions Dr. Apsey. 187 00:09:53,675 --> 00:09:55,844 I got questions. 188 00:09:55,844 --> 00:09:57,846 I'd recommend asking them. 189 00:09:57,846 --> 00:09:59,515 No Bible thumping. 190 00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:01,416 I don't care what Jesus thinks of me. 191 00:10:01,416 --> 00:10:04,186 I have no interest in Jesus' opinion of you either. 192 00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:05,654 This is not Christian therapy. 193 00:10:06,722 --> 00:10:07,456 Anything else? 194 00:10:07,456 --> 00:10:08,957 Unorthodox techniques. 195 00:10:08,957 --> 00:10:11,126 Like torture? Okay. 196 00:10:11,126 --> 00:10:13,662 No electric shocks. No electric shocks, 197 00:10:13,729 --> 00:10:15,464 no funny smells to make me puke 198 00:10:15,464 --> 00:10:16,398 when you flash pictures 199 00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:18,834 of naked individuals. No punishment stuff. 200 00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:20,903 What you're describing's aversion therapy. 201 00:10:20,903 --> 00:10:23,071 I promise none of that. 202 00:10:23,071 --> 00:10:24,973 Only direct, honest talk. 203 00:10:24,973 --> 00:10:26,875 So direct he couldn't even say the G-word. 204 00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:28,143 Yeah. Couldn't say the word. 205 00:10:28,143 --> 00:10:30,746 Then last week, why wouldn't you say the word? 206 00:10:30,746 --> 00:10:32,481 And what word was that? 207 00:10:32,481 --> 00:10:33,982 The word. 208 00:10:34,182 --> 00:10:37,219 Oh, yes, the word. 209 00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:40,289 You refrained from using it. 210 00:10:40,289 --> 00:10:42,524 So I chose similar restraint out of respect for you. 211 00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:45,494 Have you ever employed it? To describe yourself. 212 00:10:46,728 --> 00:10:48,163 Been to a therapist before. Said it then. 213 00:10:48,163 --> 00:10:51,133 I'd like to see copies of the records. 214 00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:52,701 Forging records. That's inadvisable. 215 00:10:52,701 --> 00:10:55,604 That's impossible. The guy's died. 216 00:10:55,971 --> 00:10:58,840 Or moved. Or something. 217 00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:05,247 Did this other therapist use aversion? 218 00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,748 I don't remember. 219 00:11:07,716 --> 00:11:09,851 You don't recall if he used electric shock. 220 00:11:09,851 --> 00:11:11,987 Little electrodes over your body? 221 00:11:13,021 --> 00:11:14,389 Oh, no. No shocks. 222 00:11:14,389 --> 00:11:15,557 Any form of aversion? 223 00:11:15,557 --> 00:11:17,593 No. 224 00:11:17,626 --> 00:11:19,795 So how are you aware of aversion therapy? 225 00:11:20,395 --> 00:11:21,530 There are books. 226 00:11:22,497 --> 00:11:25,467 Ah, of course. I've read. 227 00:11:26,201 --> 00:11:26,735 I’ve read. 228 00:11:26,735 --> 00:11:27,269 What books? 229 00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:29,037 The Recurring Use of Aversion Techniques 230 00:11:29,037 --> 00:11:30,272 in the Clinical Treatment of the Male 231 00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:33,508 Homosexual in the 20th Century. 232 00:11:34,676 --> 00:11:36,478 I don't remember the title. 233 00:11:38,647 --> 00:11:40,983 You're aware of aversion therapy, yet 234 00:11:41,583 --> 00:11:44,219 your previous therapist never used it. 235 00:11:44,219 --> 00:11:46,922 You've read, but you don't remember the books. 236 00:11:48,857 --> 00:11:51,059 If you were I, Frank, would you believe that? 237 00:11:51,059 --> 00:11:51,627 A good therapist 238 00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,895 doesn't insinuate his client is lying. 239 00:11:53,895 --> 00:11:55,998 I don't think a good therapist calls his client a liar. 240 00:11:56,164 --> 00:11:57,733 Probably not. 241 00:11:58,367 --> 00:11:59,768 Are you lying? 242 00:11:59,768 --> 00:12:00,235 No. 243 00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:05,173 Uh, maybe. 244 00:12:06,375 --> 00:12:06,675 Maybe 245 00:12:06,675 --> 00:12:09,211 I never exactly been to a therapist. 246 00:12:11,980 --> 00:12:14,750 Then my previous question remains. 247 00:12:14,750 --> 00:12:18,020 Have you ever verbalized the word about yourself? 248 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,322 Could be. 249 00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,591 Not. 250 00:12:22,824 --> 00:12:24,793 If you did, what would happen? 251 00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:26,194 Your worst fear. 252 00:12:27,129 --> 00:12:28,997 Oh, if I said it, I'd puke my guts. 253 00:12:28,997 --> 00:12:30,932 A fear of vomiting, nothing more? 254 00:12:30,932 --> 00:12:31,600 There'd be more. 255 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,101 Course there's more. 256 00:12:33,101 --> 00:12:33,869 Tell me. 257 00:12:35,437 --> 00:12:37,039 Don't know I got the words. 258 00:12:37,039 --> 00:12:38,006 Find them. 259 00:12:42,811 --> 00:12:45,213 I got, you know, a life. Not a perfect life. 260 00:12:45,213 --> 00:12:46,948 But I'm standing. 261 00:12:47,749 --> 00:12:51,787 And sometimes I think that one word--and my tendons'd 262 00:12:51,787 --> 00:12:55,123 let go my bones, my muscles'd turn to Jell-O 263 00:12:56,224 --> 00:12:57,959 and I'd collapse. 264 00:12:58,260 --> 00:13:00,429 I don't think I could say that word and still stand. 265 00:13:00,429 --> 00:13:01,930 Do it anyway. 266 00:13:03,665 --> 00:13:05,801 I'm pressing, Frank because the first step 267 00:13:05,801 --> 00:13:08,470 to change is accepting what you want to change. 268 00:13:08,503 --> 00:13:10,205 Hey, I accept it. 269 00:13:10,205 --> 00:13:12,708 I quite doubt a human organism can accept something 270 00:13:12,708 --> 00:13:14,142 he/she won't verbalize. 271 00:13:34,663 --> 00:13:36,264 Earlier you said you have a life. 272 00:13:36,431 --> 00:13:37,032 Yeah. 273 00:13:37,933 --> 00:13:38,800 What type of life? 274 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:42,070 A supercallifragilistic life with the man 275 00:13:42,070 --> 00:13:43,238 you love. 276 00:13:45,907 --> 00:13:47,042 A life, a life. 277 00:13:47,042 --> 00:13:48,410 Just a life. 278 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,078 You're not married, correct? 279 00:13:50,078 --> 00:13:50,746 No. 280 00:13:50,812 --> 00:13:51,947 Girlfriend? 281 00:13:52,047 --> 00:13:52,514 No. 282 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:53,181 Boyfriend? 283 00:13:53,181 --> 00:13:54,716 Husband, please. 284 00:13:54,783 --> 00:13:55,617 Fuck you... 285 00:14:00,555 --> 00:14:02,557 No. No boyfriend. 286 00:14:02,557 --> 00:14:04,626 Would you like someone special in your life? 287 00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:06,061 Doesn't everyone? 288 00:14:06,695 --> 00:14:08,463 So, is your life working? 289 00:14:08,463 --> 00:14:09,998 My life's not so bad. 290 00:14:09,998 --> 00:14:12,100 So why are you here? 291 00:14:12,467 --> 00:14:14,770 Okay, my life sucks. 292 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,538 My life's a fucking nightmare. 293 00:14:16,538 --> 00:14:17,372 Enough? 294 00:14:17,572 --> 00:14:19,141 No. Why? 295 00:14:19,141 --> 00:14:20,442 Because. 296 00:14:20,976 --> 00:14:21,977 Because. 297 00:14:22,711 --> 00:14:24,012 Because I may have tendencies-- 298 00:14:24,012 --> 00:14:26,047 Because I have tendencies. That may be-- 299 00:14:26,047 --> 00:14:27,783 that are-- 300 00:14:30,018 --> 00:14:31,653 homosexual. 301 00:14:43,131 --> 00:14:45,734 I maybe kinda sorta messed up. 302 00:14:47,302 --> 00:14:49,437 Instead of forcing him to use the word, 303 00:14:50,005 --> 00:14:52,174 the session became about me not saying it. 304 00:14:52,174 --> 00:14:54,476 So, you know, give him what he wants-- 305 00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:55,877 I said, "homosexual." 306 00:14:58,079 --> 00:14:59,481 "Fag" seemed too hostile, 307 00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,283 "gay" too neutral. 308 00:15:02,617 --> 00:15:04,319 He certainly wouldn't understand the subtleties of 309 00:15:04,319 --> 00:15:05,821 the word "queer." 310 00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:08,790 I don't understand the subtleties of the word queer. 311 00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:13,361 Basic homophobia 101 theories. 312 00:15:14,262 --> 00:15:16,998 He manipulated you into saying the dreaded H-word. 313 00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:19,634 You won't be able to cope with the truth, 314 00:15:19,634 --> 00:15:21,937 so you'll sink into self-destructive behavior 315 00:15:22,103 --> 00:15:22,871 the way we all do 316 00:15:22,871 --> 00:15:25,907 when we're faced with our sick, twisted selves. 317 00:15:27,008 --> 00:15:28,677 Drink yourself into oblivion. 318 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:29,611 Have a few unsafe, 319 00:15:29,611 --> 00:15:31,847 anonymous fucks in filthy places. 320 00:15:32,447 --> 00:15:35,350 Rape a couple of blind, handicapped ten-year-old boys. 321 00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:37,152 You know, the usual faggot fare. 322 00:15:37,152 --> 00:15:39,321 So, next week 323 00:15:39,321 --> 00:15:41,556 you make up some gooey experience, 324 00:15:41,556 --> 00:15:42,657 so he can convince you 325 00:15:42,657 --> 00:15:45,093 what a twisted worm of a man you are, 326 00:15:45,293 --> 00:15:47,362 and pull you out of the homosexual muck 327 00:15:47,362 --> 00:15:49,631 and into a blissful heterosexual life where the 328 00:15:49,631 --> 00:15:50,031 sun always shines. 329 00:15:50,031 --> 00:15:51,967 What do you mean, "make up?" 330 00:15:51,967 --> 00:15:53,335 You want to see the monster's methods? You gotta 331 00:15:53,335 --> 00:15:54,369 give him what he wants. 332 00:15:55,570 --> 00:15:57,272 Talk dirty to him. 333 00:15:57,272 --> 00:15:58,707 I wouldn't do that. 334 00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:00,041 That's not my experience. 335 00:16:00,041 --> 00:16:01,309 Not me. 336 00:16:01,309 --> 00:16:04,012 The me in his office, that me wouldn't talk dirty. 337 00:16:04,012 --> 00:16:05,947 So talk clean, but the 338 00:16:05,947 --> 00:16:09,484 extracurricular activities-- very, very dirty. 339 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:13,555 So, if you were to, you know, 340 00:16:14,990 --> 00:16:16,191 what would it be? 341 00:16:17,659 --> 00:16:19,060 Sex in bushes? 342 00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:21,129 No, I told him I don't like that. 343 00:16:21,596 --> 00:16:22,564 Perfect. 344 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:23,498 He assumes you're lying 345 00:16:23,498 --> 00:16:26,801 and have a frequent bush pass for the park. 346 00:16:28,169 --> 00:16:30,171 No, if I'd ever have anonymous sex, I'd-- 347 00:16:32,507 --> 00:16:33,642 What? 348 00:16:37,045 --> 00:16:38,113 No. 349 00:16:38,113 --> 00:16:39,281 What? 350 00:16:41,016 --> 00:16:42,317 Tell me. 351 00:16:45,353 --> 00:16:49,257 A huge club, with pitch black rooms. 352 00:16:49,257 --> 00:16:51,126 There's lots of men, and there's 353 00:16:51,126 --> 00:16:53,461 lots of wandering hands. 354 00:16:53,461 --> 00:16:56,932 A relentless army of hungry hands, smothering my body. 355 00:16:57,465 --> 00:17:00,468 Pinching fingers, probing tongues. 356 00:17:00,468 --> 00:17:02,570 So sticky. So wet. 357 00:17:03,505 --> 00:17:06,408 You seem to have given this a lot of thought. 358 00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:07,676 Uh-huh. 359 00:17:08,643 --> 00:17:09,044 So-- 360 00:17:09,044 --> 00:17:11,646 that's what you'll tell Frankenstein next week. 361 00:17:11,646 --> 00:17:12,914 Yeah, but I've never been. 362 00:17:12,914 --> 00:17:14,516 He'll know I'm making it up. 363 00:17:17,652 --> 00:17:18,553 Okay. 364 00:17:26,361 --> 00:17:27,696 Club Phuque. 365 00:17:28,029 --> 00:17:29,431 P-H-U-Q-U-E. 366 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:33,068 Cute. Group scenes, role playing, 367 00:17:33,068 --> 00:17:36,037 fetish attire required. Open seven days, ten to four. 368 00:17:36,037 --> 00:17:39,507 Refreshments, non-smoking rooms. 369 00:17:40,742 --> 00:17:41,576 Yeah? 370 00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:44,412 You can't fabricate, then fornicate. 371 00:17:45,213 --> 00:17:49,684 Go to a sex club. Do whatever--safe only of course. 372 00:17:50,552 --> 00:17:52,721 Then you got a nice non-fabricated experience 373 00:17:52,721 --> 00:17:53,321 to tell Frankenstein. 374 00:17:53,321 --> 00:17:55,223 I can't believe you want me to have sex with another guy. 375 00:17:55,223 --> 00:17:55,991 I don't. 376 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:57,859 I want you to write this article. 377 00:17:57,859 --> 00:17:59,494 If we stop one guy from going 378 00:17:59,494 --> 00:18:01,029 to this quack, you've saved a life. 379 00:18:01,029 --> 00:18:03,465 God, I hate when you do this, Jonathan. 380 00:18:04,032 --> 00:18:06,968 If I were a Good Fag, I'd protest with you at every new 381 00:18:06,968 --> 00:18:09,070 cause du jour. If I were a Good Fag, I yell louder. 382 00:18:09,070 --> 00:18:12,507 If I were a Good Fag, I'd throw condoms at the Pope. 383 00:18:17,512 --> 00:18:19,814 I can do what you want, which makes me the Good Fag, 384 00:18:19,948 --> 00:18:23,018 or I can not do what you want, which makes me an 385 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:26,821 unenlightened, apolitical, walking piece of selfish 386 00:18:26,821 --> 00:18:28,256 shit. 387 00:18:33,762 --> 00:18:34,095 It's okay 388 00:18:34,095 --> 00:18:37,032 for you to contradict that. 389 00:18:37,198 --> 00:18:38,767 What's wrong with being a good fag? 390 00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:40,468 It's not wrong. It's just, 391 00:18:40,468 --> 00:18:43,171 it's very, very hard. 392 00:18:52,313 --> 00:18:52,781 Okay. 393 00:18:52,781 --> 00:18:53,548 Exactly what 394 00:18:53,548 --> 00:18:56,885 sordid depravities do you want me to make up? 395 00:19:05,326 --> 00:19:05,960 My name is Franklin 396 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,763 Johnston, and I am a writer. 397 00:19:08,997 --> 00:19:10,598 A freelance writer. 398 00:19:10,598 --> 00:19:12,333 Nice to meet you all. 399 00:19:12,801 --> 00:19:13,101 I didn't, 400 00:19:13,101 --> 00:19:15,470 I didn't actually make the choice to go see Dr. Apsey. 401 00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:18,239 It was planned 402 00:19:18,807 --> 00:19:20,975 experiments. 403 00:19:23,311 --> 00:19:25,747 Went somewhere, last night, 404 00:19:25,747 --> 00:19:27,248 only to watch. I wasn't gonna take off 405 00:19:27,248 --> 00:19:30,018 any clothes, but everything got taken off. 406 00:19:30,018 --> 00:19:32,921 I guess there wasn't much of a fight. 407 00:19:34,022 --> 00:19:34,823 How many times? 408 00:19:34,823 --> 00:19:37,358 How many individuals? I don't know. 409 00:19:37,358 --> 00:19:39,694 I woke up--six a.m. 410 00:19:40,528 --> 00:19:41,463 was naked, 411 00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:43,431 curled up on a damp 412 00:19:43,431 --> 00:19:45,433 concrete floor. 413 00:19:46,534 --> 00:19:48,303 Found a pair of jeans, soaked, 414 00:19:48,303 --> 00:19:50,939 not mine. And a shirt, mine, 415 00:19:51,306 --> 00:19:53,708 but covered in-- 416 00:19:54,042 --> 00:19:54,442 Yeah. 417 00:19:54,909 --> 00:19:56,411 So I left it. 418 00:19:57,011 --> 00:19:58,646 Walked home. Shirtless, 419 00:19:58,646 --> 00:20:01,883 Shoeless. Soulless. 420 00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:06,221 And you undertook this excursion because? 421 00:20:06,488 --> 00:20:07,789 Last week you said, "say 422 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,524 it, say it, say it, say the word." 423 00:20:09,524 --> 00:20:13,027 So I said it--fagot. And I acted like a fagot. 424 00:20:14,696 --> 00:20:16,798 All male organisms in your situation 425 00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:19,667 don't engage in such behavior. 426 00:20:20,635 --> 00:20:22,904 You pushed me. 427 00:20:23,204 --> 00:20:24,038 Me? 428 00:20:25,073 --> 00:20:27,909 Have you ever succumb to anonymous sex before? 429 00:20:27,909 --> 00:20:29,144 Don't remember. 430 00:20:29,878 --> 00:20:31,012 Frank. 431 00:20:31,513 --> 00:20:33,481 Your lapses of memory consistently occur 432 00:20:33,481 --> 00:20:36,885 at ridiculously convenient times. 433 00:20:36,885 --> 00:20:38,186 Say, "yes." 434 00:20:38,186 --> 00:20:39,521 Yeah. I guess I've done that stuff. 435 00:20:39,521 --> 00:20:41,623 Were we acquainted during these past exploits? 436 00:20:41,623 --> 00:20:42,190 No. 437 00:20:42,190 --> 00:20:44,259 So were these previous encounters because of me? 438 00:20:44,459 --> 00:20:45,126 Course not. 439 00:20:45,126 --> 00:20:46,060 Then who caused you 440 00:20:46,060 --> 00:20:47,829 to have anonymous sex these other times? 441 00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:49,264 Whoever. Your editor-- 442 00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:51,432 My boss. I got fired. 443 00:20:53,434 --> 00:20:56,137 When you were fired, what were you feeling? 444 00:20:56,137 --> 00:20:56,571 How do I know? 445 00:20:56,571 --> 00:20:57,672 I look like I keep a diary? 446 00:20:57,672 --> 00:20:59,574 Upset? Angry? Humiliated? 447 00:20:59,574 --> 00:21:00,775 All of the above. 448 00:21:00,775 --> 00:21:02,710 Last week, after you verbalized the word 449 00:21:02,710 --> 00:21:04,212 were you all of the above? 450 00:21:04,212 --> 00:21:05,046 Yeah. Exactly. 451 00:21:05,046 --> 00:21:08,516 So both times, you were angry, upset, humiliated, 452 00:21:08,516 --> 00:21:10,151 and what did you do? 453 00:21:12,420 --> 00:21:13,555 Fucked. 454 00:21:14,422 --> 00:21:15,790 I fucked. 455 00:21:16,090 --> 00:21:18,193 So for five fucking seconds, I could fucking forget 456 00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:19,761 who I fucking was. 457 00:21:19,761 --> 00:21:22,630 So who caused you to have anonymous sex? 458 00:21:22,630 --> 00:21:25,133 Don't take the blame. 459 00:21:25,233 --> 00:21:27,669 You. And my ex-boss. 460 00:21:28,303 --> 00:21:30,238 You had nothing to do with it? 461 00:21:30,238 --> 00:21:31,673 Look, slap my knuckles or something and 462 00:21:31,673 --> 00:21:32,840 let's get on with this. 463 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:36,277 To punish you? Last week you specifically requested 464 00:21:36,277 --> 00:21:37,812 I refrain from punishment techniques. 465 00:21:37,812 --> 00:21:39,614 This week you're wanting them. Make up your mind. 466 00:21:39,614 --> 00:21:41,282 He's putting words in your mouth. 467 00:21:41,282 --> 00:21:42,317 You're putting words in my mouth. 468 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:47,222 I am concerned you view me as a disciplinarian, 469 00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:48,823 and your activities the other night 470 00:21:48,823 --> 00:21:50,191 were rebellion against me. 471 00:21:50,191 --> 00:21:52,193 Well, no real guy likes some other 472 00:21:52,193 --> 00:21:54,529 guy telling him what to do. 473 00:21:54,529 --> 00:21:56,364 Did I ever tell you no sex club? 474 00:21:56,364 --> 00:21:57,832 My mind's not a tape recorder. 475 00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:00,568 Mine is. I've never mentioned sex. 476 00:22:01,536 --> 00:22:03,538 Not the word, not the activity. 477 00:22:03,538 --> 00:22:05,807 You're rebelling against a rule I never made. 478 00:22:06,641 --> 00:22:08,610 So why'd you assume you shouldn't have sex? 479 00:22:08,610 --> 00:22:11,212 Well, duh. That's why I'm here. 480 00:22:11,446 --> 00:22:13,815 Then you've created the no-sex rule, not me. 481 00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:17,385 Perhaps you shouldn't be so demanding of yourself. 482 00:22:17,385 --> 00:22:20,088 I should do exactly what I'm trying not to? 483 00:22:20,788 --> 00:22:22,991 I will never tell you whether or not to be sexual. 484 00:22:23,791 --> 00:22:26,527 But Frank, desires exist. 485 00:22:26,761 --> 00:22:29,330 Repression always fails. Miserably. 486 00:22:29,330 --> 00:22:31,532 Healthy sex is not an anesthetic. 487 00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:34,202 Mature adult sex connects to feelings. 488 00:22:34,469 --> 00:22:36,704 If that's easier with a man, practice with a man. 489 00:22:37,805 --> 00:22:39,507 I'd prefer you build an emotionally healthy 490 00:22:39,507 --> 00:22:41,809 relationship with a man, than have anesthetized 491 00:22:41,843 --> 00:22:44,445 sex with men, or women. 492 00:22:46,748 --> 00:22:49,317 Well, even Frankenstein has his surprises. 493 00:22:51,753 --> 00:22:54,589 I'm, uh, I'm surprised. 494 00:22:59,193 --> 00:23:00,662 I have a confession to make. 495 00:23:00,662 --> 00:23:02,864 That story about the sex club, 496 00:23:03,798 --> 00:23:05,300 I made it up. 497 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:06,901 Oh. 498 00:23:11,572 --> 00:23:12,707 Why this lie? 499 00:23:12,707 --> 00:23:14,442 A friend put me up to it. 500 00:23:15,410 --> 00:23:16,778 Frank, I'm gonna piss in my pants. 501 00:23:16,778 --> 00:23:18,846 To see if you'd pee your pants, or anything. 502 00:23:19,781 --> 00:23:20,415 Pleasantly 503 00:23:20,415 --> 00:23:22,817 it's been quite a while since I've lost bladder control. 504 00:23:29,657 --> 00:23:30,191 Perhaps there's 505 00:23:30,191 --> 00:23:32,226 a better therapist for you. 506 00:23:34,962 --> 00:23:35,630 Great. 507 00:23:35,630 --> 00:23:36,764 Now you see what you've done? 508 00:23:36,764 --> 00:23:37,865 I'd be happy to recommend a few. 509 00:23:37,865 --> 00:23:38,466 Okay. 510 00:23:38,466 --> 00:23:39,067 No! 511 00:23:39,267 --> 00:23:39,834 No! 512 00:23:39,834 --> 00:23:42,203 You view me as your enemy. 513 00:23:42,203 --> 00:23:43,171 Ask to stay. 514 00:23:43,171 --> 00:23:45,206 Please, let me stay. 515 00:23:45,940 --> 00:23:48,042 Have you noticed a pattern to our sessions? 516 00:23:48,042 --> 00:23:51,012 You lie, you stumble, you reluctantly come clean. 517 00:23:51,279 --> 00:23:52,580 He wants an apology. 518 00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:53,348 I'm sorry. 519 00:23:53,348 --> 00:23:55,483 Sorry, isn't worth doo-doo. 520 00:23:57,852 --> 00:23:59,854 Please, please, please, 521 00:23:59,854 --> 00:24:01,222 let me stay! 522 00:24:04,659 --> 00:24:07,495 The pain you radiate, blinds me. 523 00:24:11,632 --> 00:24:12,767 I'm a sucker for pain. 524 00:24:12,767 --> 00:24:13,868 You may stay. 525 00:24:13,868 --> 00:24:14,902 If-- 526 00:24:16,904 --> 00:24:18,973 you stop lying and begin with coming clean. 527 00:24:19,540 --> 00:24:20,908 Saves time, saves energy, 528 00:24:20,908 --> 00:24:24,145 saves me pissing my pants. 529 00:24:24,512 --> 00:24:25,413 Agreed. 530 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:26,814 Thank you. 531 00:24:28,349 --> 00:24:30,218 Now, homework for the week-- 532 00:24:30,218 --> 00:24:31,753 no lying. 533 00:24:32,053 --> 00:24:33,521 Lying is toxic. 534 00:24:33,521 --> 00:24:35,223 It's time to develop healthier habits. 535 00:24:35,223 --> 00:24:37,959 And the truth, is a spiffy habit to get into. 536 00:24:39,594 --> 00:24:40,661 He was lying, 537 00:24:40,661 --> 00:24:43,231 but his, his lies, 538 00:24:43,231 --> 00:24:45,767 by his own admission, after a while, were very, 539 00:24:46,300 --> 00:24:48,069 were a thin veneer. 540 00:24:48,069 --> 00:24:50,938 It became very complicated. 541 00:24:51,072 --> 00:24:52,907 Well, you have all the records, so. 542 00:24:52,907 --> 00:24:56,043 Truth is a very important 543 00:24:56,043 --> 00:24:57,345 factor in my life. 544 00:24:57,345 --> 00:24:58,479 I would like to give 545 00:24:58,479 --> 00:25:00,281 all my patients the benefit of the doubt. 546 00:25:00,281 --> 00:25:01,649 I mean, people lie. 547 00:25:01,649 --> 00:25:03,651 I guess you could label anything a lie, 548 00:25:03,651 --> 00:25:06,320 but people are just afraid of the truth. 549 00:25:07,188 --> 00:25:09,157 That's, that's as clearly as I can put it. 550 00:25:10,425 --> 00:25:11,392 I don't know. 551 00:25:11,392 --> 00:25:13,060 I don't know. I don't know. 552 00:25:13,060 --> 00:25:15,163 I don't know why I told him the sex club was a lie. 553 00:25:16,798 --> 00:25:17,799 Maybe it's his eyes. 554 00:25:17,799 --> 00:25:20,835 They suck words out of me and everything backfires. 555 00:25:21,969 --> 00:25:24,071 He's supposed to tell me I'm bad and he doesn't. 556 00:25:24,071 --> 00:25:26,407 Well, what's he gonna say? You know, 557 00:25:26,407 --> 00:25:27,008 good afternoon, 558 00:25:27,008 --> 00:25:27,909 you're bad. 559 00:25:27,909 --> 00:25:30,578 Please pay me $150 an hour to destroy your life. 560 00:25:31,212 --> 00:25:32,580 He's supposed to punish me, but he won't. 561 00:25:32,580 --> 00:25:33,881 Knows that you don't trust him. 562 00:25:33,881 --> 00:25:36,484 So he expresses compassion to keep you off balance. 563 00:25:36,551 --> 00:25:37,819 He's supposed to hate my guts, 564 00:25:37,819 --> 00:25:39,253 but I think he actually likes me. 565 00:25:39,253 --> 00:25:41,756 I can't deal with him liking me. 566 00:25:41,889 --> 00:25:44,392 Because, you like him? 567 00:25:44,826 --> 00:25:46,360 You are way off. 568 00:25:46,360 --> 00:25:49,263 Clients are frequently attracted to their therapists. 569 00:25:50,932 --> 00:25:51,732 Are you? 570 00:25:51,866 --> 00:25:53,734 You're crazy. 571 00:25:54,068 --> 00:25:55,203 I've seen him at conferences. 572 00:25:55,203 --> 00:25:56,237 He's not bad looking. 573 00:25:56,237 --> 00:25:56,437 You know, 574 00:25:56,437 --> 00:25:58,706 if he were my therapist, I might 575 00:25:58,706 --> 00:25:59,440 sport a woody. 576 00:25:59,540 --> 00:26:01,476 You're oversharing. 577 00:26:02,810 --> 00:26:03,277 Look, I'm, 578 00:26:03,277 --> 00:26:06,247 I'm having a really bad day, and it'd be really nice 579 00:26:06,247 --> 00:26:09,016 if you just zip up your deliciously oversized mouth, 580 00:26:10,017 --> 00:26:12,386 nod your head, mutter a few therapist uh-huhs, and 581 00:26:14,589 --> 00:26:16,424 never use the phrase, 582 00:26:16,424 --> 00:26:18,659 "sport a woody" again. 583 00:26:21,295 --> 00:26:23,798 Jonathan, what if I can't? 584 00:26:23,798 --> 00:26:24,866 I mean, it's not exactly like 585 00:26:24,866 --> 00:26:26,734 I've ever done a piece like this before. 586 00:26:26,734 --> 00:26:27,869 Uh-huh. 587 00:26:27,869 --> 00:26:29,036 Was that a "therapist" uh-huh? 588 00:26:29,036 --> 00:26:32,340 I aim to please. Jonathan. 589 00:26:32,340 --> 00:26:34,008 You're a good writer. 590 00:26:34,008 --> 00:26:37,211 I'm a writer, not a reporter. 591 00:26:37,345 --> 00:26:38,079 Who am I kidding? 592 00:26:38,079 --> 00:26:39,847 I write about tulip festivals, 593 00:26:39,847 --> 00:26:43,351 and antique shows, and fall colors. But an exposé? 594 00:26:43,518 --> 00:26:44,619 What if I'm in over my head? 595 00:26:44,619 --> 00:26:47,655 Then you will rise and meet this challenge. 596 00:26:49,090 --> 00:26:50,224 Same way you've risen and met 597 00:26:50,224 --> 00:26:52,393 every challenge I've ever seen you face. 598 00:26:52,393 --> 00:26:54,395 I have complete confidence in your ability. 599 00:26:56,731 --> 00:26:57,899 You know what? 600 00:26:58,533 --> 00:26:59,033 What? 601 00:27:00,334 --> 00:27:02,703 I have an uncontrollable desire to kiss you. 602 00:27:04,739 --> 00:27:07,808 Wow. That is friggin' freaky. 603 00:27:09,877 --> 00:27:11,045 I'm experiencing the same 604 00:27:11,045 --> 00:27:13,748 uncontrollable desire. 605 00:27:15,683 --> 00:27:16,350 Oops. 606 00:27:17,051 --> 00:27:17,919 What? 607 00:27:17,919 --> 00:27:20,555 The uncontrollable desire is spreading. 608 00:27:20,621 --> 00:27:21,122 Oh? 609 00:27:21,122 --> 00:27:23,591 You have an uncontrollable desire to kiss my nose? 610 00:27:23,758 --> 00:27:24,625 Yeah, that alright? 611 00:27:24,625 --> 00:27:26,060 Yeah, that's alright. 612 00:27:26,060 --> 00:27:26,727 Oops. 613 00:27:26,861 --> 00:27:28,462 Mm-hmm. 614 00:27:28,462 --> 00:27:29,430 Your earlobe. Can I kiss it too? 615 00:27:29,497 --> 00:27:30,932 Yeah, I guess so. 616 00:27:31,098 --> 00:27:31,566 Oops. 617 00:27:31,566 --> 00:27:33,668 The bulging bag underneath my left eye? 618 00:27:33,668 --> 00:27:34,936 How did you know? 619 00:27:34,936 --> 00:27:37,071 Faggot intuition. 620 00:27:38,773 --> 00:27:39,607 Okay, 621 00:27:40,374 --> 00:27:42,510 before you completely lose sight of the fact 622 00:27:42,510 --> 00:27:45,279 that we are in a public place, Jonathan, 623 00:27:47,381 --> 00:27:49,283 I respect you. 624 00:27:49,283 --> 00:27:50,518 You know, you're always right there, 625 00:27:50,518 --> 00:27:51,786 front line. 626 00:27:51,819 --> 00:27:53,988 That's why they call me super fag. 627 00:27:53,988 --> 00:27:55,856 Faster than a speed dial phone tree-- 628 00:27:55,856 --> 00:27:56,290 Exactly. 629 00:27:56,490 --> 00:27:58,392 Able to leaflet entire malls in a single round-- 630 00:27:58,392 --> 00:27:59,226 Exactly. But, 631 00:28:01,629 --> 00:28:02,430 it's not that I'm 632 00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:05,533 not sure if, I can pull this off, 633 00:28:05,566 --> 00:28:07,501 but I'm not sure, 634 00:28:08,102 --> 00:28:11,505 I'm kinds thinking, feeling, maybe 635 00:28:11,505 --> 00:28:13,608 I sorta, don't want to. 636 00:28:15,977 --> 00:28:16,577 Well. 637 00:28:19,513 --> 00:28:20,081 You don't want to, 638 00:28:20,081 --> 00:28:21,549 you don't want to. Right? 639 00:28:23,484 --> 00:28:25,519 Wants change, right? 640 00:28:26,787 --> 00:28:30,157 Wants change all the time. 641 00:28:30,424 --> 00:28:32,293 I mean, really, all the time. 642 00:28:32,293 --> 00:28:32,493 Like, 643 00:28:32,493 --> 00:28:36,597 like when you wanted to manage our investments, 644 00:28:36,597 --> 00:28:38,032 instead of hiring a professional. 645 00:28:38,032 --> 00:28:39,433 Except it turned out that it was 646 00:28:39,433 --> 00:28:41,636 harder than you thought. So you quit. And we 647 00:28:41,636 --> 00:28:44,005 ended up with a one-percent return instead of ten or more. 648 00:28:44,005 --> 00:28:45,439 Or when you wanted to make extra money 649 00:28:45,439 --> 00:28:47,942 with that multi-level marketing craziness. 650 00:28:48,376 --> 00:28:50,444 Except it was more time consuming than you thought. 651 00:28:50,444 --> 00:28:51,245 So you quit. 652 00:28:51,245 --> 00:28:53,080 And we ended up with a 100 gallons of mud-mask, 653 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,683 and a tax write off, or 654 00:28:56,951 --> 00:28:59,286 whatever. You know, you go halfway, 655 00:28:59,387 --> 00:29:02,590 wants change and you bail. 656 00:29:02,590 --> 00:29:04,659 And I step aside and let you self-sabotage 657 00:29:04,659 --> 00:29:07,361 because it's your life, and it's usually only money. 658 00:29:07,361 --> 00:29:10,131 But this time--it's more. 659 00:29:10,131 --> 00:29:12,199 So grow a backbone, 660 00:29:12,199 --> 00:29:14,969 visualize manhood, pretend you have a brain, 661 00:29:14,969 --> 00:29:17,204 but under no circumstances-- drop out. 662 00:29:17,271 --> 00:29:19,306 Why don't you tell me what you really think? 663 00:29:19,306 --> 00:29:22,243 Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 664 00:29:22,243 --> 00:29:24,679 I'm not allowed needs? I'm not allowed concerns? 665 00:29:24,712 --> 00:29:26,180 Of course you are. Tell me your concerns. 666 00:29:26,180 --> 00:29:28,883 Oh, eat it! If I go back, I do. 667 00:29:28,883 --> 00:29:29,950 And if I don't, I don't. 668 00:29:29,950 --> 00:29:31,786 Oh, you're going back. 669 00:29:33,587 --> 00:29:36,123 You are going back! 670 00:29:39,260 --> 00:29:41,495 The actual idea of 671 00:29:41,495 --> 00:29:45,666 Mr. Johnson posing as a client of Dr. Apsey's 672 00:29:46,967 --> 00:29:49,704 I was not involved in. 673 00:29:50,471 --> 00:29:52,373 It was Dr. Baldwin's 674 00:29:52,373 --> 00:29:56,143 idea for me to to go undercover. 675 00:29:56,310 --> 00:29:57,578 Prior to the events in question, 676 00:29:57,578 --> 00:30:00,581 no, I wasn't even aware of Dr. Baldwin. 677 00:30:00,715 --> 00:30:01,282 As Mr. Johnston 678 00:30:01,282 --> 00:30:03,451 is a reporter, 679 00:30:03,751 --> 00:30:07,354 it was not my place to decide whether or not 680 00:30:07,521 --> 00:30:10,658 it was within the bounds of his professional ethics. 681 00:30:14,061 --> 00:30:14,595 It's not my 682 00:30:14,595 --> 00:30:17,131 responsibility to make that decision. 683 00:30:18,733 --> 00:30:19,867 How was your lie-free week? 684 00:30:19,867 --> 00:30:21,836 Difficult. 685 00:30:23,070 --> 00:30:23,938 Perhaps you'll share how 686 00:30:23,938 --> 00:30:25,139 difficult. 687 00:30:27,808 --> 00:30:30,377 Listen, I can't do this, 688 00:30:32,113 --> 00:30:32,713 today. 689 00:30:32,713 --> 00:30:34,181 I'll pay you. 690 00:30:34,482 --> 00:30:36,517 And therapy may be a beneficial place 691 00:30:36,517 --> 00:30:38,953 to share these difficulties? 692 00:30:38,953 --> 00:30:42,289 I can't talk about not lying, 'cause I'd have to lie 693 00:30:42,289 --> 00:30:43,724 to do it. 694 00:30:43,824 --> 00:30:46,093 You're more comfortable with falsehood than truth. 695 00:30:46,861 --> 00:30:50,231 But changing patterns is why you're here. 696 00:30:50,231 --> 00:30:51,599 You don't have to have sex with men. 697 00:30:51,599 --> 00:30:52,900 That's the big step. 698 00:30:52,900 --> 00:30:55,536 Take a small step today. 699 00:30:56,504 --> 00:31:00,141 Earn a couple bonus therapy points. 700 00:31:00,141 --> 00:31:01,408 Tell the truth. 701 00:31:04,512 --> 00:31:07,281 The friend I told you about last week, 702 00:31:07,281 --> 00:31:09,550 the one who convinced me to lie about the sex club-- 703 00:31:11,952 --> 00:31:14,021 He's not a friend. 704 00:31:14,288 --> 00:31:17,258 Well, no, of course he's a friend. 705 00:31:17,258 --> 00:31:17,858 But a friend, 706 00:31:17,858 --> 00:31:20,227 I kinda sorta have a thing with. 707 00:31:21,362 --> 00:31:21,962 I assumed. 708 00:31:22,963 --> 00:31:26,267 Now this man, what should I call him? 709 00:31:26,267 --> 00:31:28,803 His name is Jonathan. 710 00:31:28,903 --> 00:31:31,038 And how's not lying connected to Jonathan? 711 00:31:33,908 --> 00:31:35,342 Sometimes he wants me to do things, 712 00:31:35,776 --> 00:31:37,678 I'm not sure I want to do. 713 00:31:37,678 --> 00:31:39,613 Sexual things? 714 00:31:40,181 --> 00:31:43,417 Personal things. 715 00:31:43,417 --> 00:31:45,553 True friends don't push. 716 00:31:45,553 --> 00:31:47,221 Yeah, and he's a therapist, too. 717 00:31:47,221 --> 00:31:49,924 I mean, he should know better, right? 718 00:31:53,727 --> 00:31:55,396 A therapist? 719 00:31:57,031 --> 00:31:57,865 Exactly, 720 00:31:57,865 --> 00:32:00,701 what's he been pushing you to do? 721 00:32:06,073 --> 00:32:06,807 I know, 722 00:32:06,807 --> 00:32:10,177 you know, I've lied to you. 723 00:32:10,177 --> 00:32:11,412 It's not only to you. 724 00:32:11,412 --> 00:32:12,613 Everywhere. 725 00:32:13,747 --> 00:32:15,382 Every crack in my life, 726 00:32:15,382 --> 00:32:17,952 I putty with a lie, out of habit to survive. 727 00:32:18,419 --> 00:32:20,688 Because day in and day out, 728 00:32:20,688 --> 00:32:22,022 I got the not so subliminal 729 00:32:22,022 --> 00:32:24,992 message that I was sick, or defective, or pathetic 730 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:27,895 because I couldn't hammer in a nail 731 00:32:27,895 --> 00:32:29,029 with a single pound, 732 00:32:29,029 --> 00:32:30,431 or my handshake wasn't firm enough, 733 00:32:30,431 --> 00:32:30,831 or I couldn't 734 00:32:30,831 --> 00:32:33,133 do the forty-two pushups that the Presidential 735 00:32:33,133 --> 00:32:34,869 Fitness Test said I should be able to do. 736 00:32:34,869 --> 00:32:36,103 And I knew that something was 737 00:32:36,103 --> 00:32:39,173 very, very, very wrong with me, because whenever 738 00:32:39,173 --> 00:32:41,075 there was a new neighbor, or postman, 739 00:32:41,075 --> 00:32:43,477 or waiter who had that certain je n'est sais quoi, 740 00:32:44,411 --> 00:32:46,347 you know, that certain je--don't wanna-- 741 00:32:46,347 --> 00:32:47,047 sais quoi, 742 00:32:47,815 --> 00:32:50,718 my dad would say, "that man's a little light on his feet." 743 00:32:50,784 --> 00:32:52,353 And it scared me, because somehow, 744 00:32:52,353 --> 00:32:55,322 I knew that je n'est sais quoi--was moi. 745 00:32:55,756 --> 00:32:56,690 So. Not a day passed 746 00:32:56,690 --> 00:32:58,025 where my dad wasn't embarrassed by me, 747 00:32:58,025 --> 00:32:58,792 and he didn't know why, 748 00:32:58,792 --> 00:33:00,461 except in the tiniest corner of his brain 749 00:33:00,461 --> 00:33:02,997 that spoke with a voice so soft he never listened. 750 00:33:02,997 --> 00:33:04,565 And I would do something wrong, 751 00:33:04,565 --> 00:33:05,566 and Dad would 752 00:33:05,566 --> 00:33:09,003 hit me, on the face. 753 00:33:10,070 --> 00:33:12,273 Not a slap, but a fingers-curled- 754 00:33:12,373 --> 00:33:15,743 into-fist hit, on the face. And Mom would try to 755 00:33:15,743 --> 00:33:17,144 stop him."Stop, stop, stop," 756 00:33:17,144 --> 00:33:18,012 she'd yell. 757 00:33:18,012 --> 00:33:21,749 But words didn't work, so she'd hit me first. 758 00:33:22,116 --> 00:33:25,519 You know, a softer, kinder, gentler smack. 759 00:33:25,753 --> 00:33:27,421 She figured if she hit me first, then he wouldn't. 760 00:33:27,421 --> 00:33:28,589 But the problem was 761 00:33:28,589 --> 00:33:30,190 she grew to like hitting me 762 00:33:30,190 --> 00:33:32,192 because power over me, was the only power she had. 763 00:33:32,192 --> 00:33:34,962 And they'd fight. "It's my turn!" "No, it's my turn!" 764 00:33:34,962 --> 00:33:36,830 "No, honey, you hit him yesterday." 765 00:33:36,830 --> 00:33:37,698 "No dear, 766 00:33:37,698 --> 00:33:38,933 I don't think I would have ever given 767 00:33:38,933 --> 00:33:41,168 him that black an eye!" 768 00:33:41,168 --> 00:33:44,438 And because I caused this fight, they'd both 769 00:33:44,438 --> 00:33:46,340 just gang up on me. And 'cause kicking 770 00:33:46,340 --> 00:33:48,442 the shit out of me, glued their marriage together-- 771 00:33:52,846 --> 00:33:53,647 Stop it. 772 00:33:54,648 --> 00:33:55,282 Stop it. 773 00:33:56,450 --> 00:33:57,451 Frank, stop. 774 00:33:57,451 --> 00:34:00,321 Stop, stop, stop, stop. 775 00:34:06,193 --> 00:34:08,262 I'm sorry. 776 00:34:11,899 --> 00:34:13,968 I'm sorry. 777 00:34:19,540 --> 00:34:21,809 I'm so sorry. 778 00:34:29,350 --> 00:34:30,551 Okay. 779 00:34:32,519 --> 00:34:36,190 This is the truthful truth-- 780 00:34:39,693 --> 00:34:40,995 Mom and Dad 781 00:34:41,195 --> 00:34:44,264 never hit me, physically, but 782 00:34:45,099 --> 00:34:48,002 they hit me with words. 783 00:34:48,135 --> 00:34:50,904 They hit me with criticism. 784 00:34:52,773 --> 00:34:54,675 They hit me with the 785 00:34:56,910 --> 00:34:58,112 disappointment 786 00:34:58,112 --> 00:35:01,882 festering in their fearful eyes. 787 00:35:03,851 --> 00:35:04,885 And I thought I must be 788 00:35:04,885 --> 00:35:07,554 very, very, very bad 789 00:35:07,921 --> 00:35:10,624 to make them judge me. 790 00:35:11,992 --> 00:35:13,527 I figured if I lied, 791 00:35:13,527 --> 00:35:15,696 they wouldn't see me, 792 00:35:16,797 --> 00:35:18,999 and they couldn't reject me. 793 00:35:24,405 --> 00:35:26,640 And it continues even today, no matter how much money 794 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:30,577 I make, or how many articles I publish. I'm a, 795 00:35:30,577 --> 00:35:32,846 I'm a writer. Did I tell you I was a writer? 796 00:35:37,684 --> 00:35:40,788 I feel inadequate. 797 00:35:42,823 --> 00:35:45,025 And when Jonathan 798 00:35:45,025 --> 00:35:47,161 suggested writing an exposé, 799 00:35:47,161 --> 00:35:49,129 I thought, wow, 800 00:35:50,898 --> 00:35:52,699 that's a serious piece of journalism-- 801 00:35:52,699 --> 00:35:53,534 it could fix me. 802 00:35:54,701 --> 00:35:55,169 And I said, 803 00:35:55,169 --> 00:35:57,838 yes, yes, yes, save me from myself. 804 00:35:58,972 --> 00:36:01,642 So I came to be saved, but not by you. 805 00:36:03,477 --> 00:36:05,345 By this article. 806 00:36:12,886 --> 00:36:15,823 But then you, surprised me. 807 00:36:19,426 --> 00:36:21,962 You helped me, 808 00:36:22,463 --> 00:36:25,032 taste clean. 809 00:36:33,607 --> 00:36:35,909 Hey, I still get those bonus points? 810 00:36:45,185 --> 00:36:46,787 Say something. 811 00:36:51,225 --> 00:36:54,461 Hate me. Hit me. 812 00:36:54,461 --> 00:36:57,164 Rip me a second asshole, 813 00:36:57,264 --> 00:36:58,132 and scream, 814 00:36:58,132 --> 00:37:01,568 "Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!" 815 00:37:04,972 --> 00:37:05,472 These options 816 00:37:05,472 --> 00:37:07,608 you've suggested, many have crossed my mind. 817 00:37:10,177 --> 00:37:11,011 But life ultimately 818 00:37:11,011 --> 00:37:14,114 is about self-control, isn't it? 819 00:37:15,115 --> 00:37:17,284 So before I lose my professional tolerance 820 00:37:17,284 --> 00:37:21,221 and those options seem viable, you'd better go. 821 00:37:36,136 --> 00:37:38,071 Notice my tone. 822 00:37:38,272 --> 00:37:40,841 The low timber and even modulation indicate 823 00:37:40,841 --> 00:37:44,011 I'm not posing a question, or an invitation. An order. 824 00:37:45,145 --> 00:37:46,947 Now go. 825 00:37:50,684 --> 00:37:53,187 Are you expecting ugliness? 826 00:37:53,187 --> 00:37:54,922 To see my anger? 827 00:37:55,155 --> 00:37:56,623 I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. 828 00:38:00,661 --> 00:38:01,428 I just, 829 00:38:02,429 --> 00:38:04,865 I just want to interview you. 830 00:38:04,865 --> 00:38:07,000 Include your side. 831 00:38:10,170 --> 00:38:11,438 Continue. 832 00:38:12,739 --> 00:38:13,974 I'm going to write this article, with 833 00:38:13,974 --> 00:38:15,342 or without your cooperation. 834 00:38:15,342 --> 00:38:16,376 I'd prefer it to be with. 835 00:38:17,744 --> 00:38:18,545 Why? 836 00:38:20,380 --> 00:38:22,282 Professionalism. 837 00:38:22,349 --> 00:38:25,452 Professionalism hasn't been a major force in your behavior. 838 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:28,522 No, I guess not. But I was, 839 00:38:28,522 --> 00:38:31,158 I was talked into some things I wish I hadn't been. 840 00:38:31,658 --> 00:38:33,827 How many times have you lied since we've met? 841 00:38:35,762 --> 00:38:37,097 That question was not rhetorical. 842 00:38:37,097 --> 00:38:38,966 An exact number, please. 843 00:38:39,666 --> 00:38:40,567 I don't know. 844 00:38:40,567 --> 00:38:42,069 Then estimate. 845 00:38:46,039 --> 00:38:48,208 Ah, six times. 846 00:38:48,208 --> 00:38:48,642 A conservative estimate, alright, 847 00:38:48,642 --> 00:38:52,179 six. And not white lies, but six malevolent falsehoods. 848 00:38:53,380 --> 00:38:54,181 I didn't have to tell you 849 00:38:54,181 --> 00:38:55,382 I was a writer. 850 00:38:55,382 --> 00:38:55,816 I could have, 851 00:38:55,816 --> 00:38:57,217 I could have continued this game 852 00:38:57,217 --> 00:38:58,452 if all I wanted was to trap you. 853 00:38:58,452 --> 00:39:00,420 I don't. 854 00:39:00,420 --> 00:39:02,089 I suppose so. 855 00:39:02,189 --> 00:39:03,724 You not the first client who's lied to me. 856 00:39:03,724 --> 00:39:05,058 Well, when they lie about their names, 857 00:39:05,058 --> 00:39:06,260 you know it's hopeless. 858 00:39:06,260 --> 00:39:08,061 Let me see your driver's license. 859 00:39:08,061 --> 00:39:09,963 I promise I won't laugh at your photo. 860 00:39:28,815 --> 00:39:30,851 Hmm. Franklin Johnston. 861 00:39:30,851 --> 00:39:31,785 Well, 862 00:39:32,552 --> 00:39:34,521 Mr. Johnston, 863 00:39:35,489 --> 00:39:38,859 you want to interview me for my side? 864 00:39:39,426 --> 00:39:41,528 It's a delicate dilemma. 865 00:39:43,297 --> 00:39:43,930 To consent to 866 00:39:43,930 --> 00:39:45,732 an interview with a client would 867 00:39:45,732 --> 00:39:49,069 clearly be an inappropriate, dualistic relationship. 868 00:39:49,436 --> 00:39:51,872 Yet, in reality, you never were a client. So, 869 00:39:55,008 --> 00:39:56,143 perhaps I'll give your proposal 870 00:39:56,143 --> 00:39:59,179 serious consideration. Now go. 871 00:39:59,179 --> 00:39:59,579 I know 872 00:39:59,579 --> 00:40:02,816 "sorry" isn't worth doo-doo. 873 00:40:02,816 --> 00:40:05,952 But, please, accept my apology. 874 00:40:05,952 --> 00:40:07,354 I'm a therapist, not a saint. 875 00:40:07,354 --> 00:40:08,355 Now go. 876 00:40:13,660 --> 00:40:15,796 Hi. Sorry I'm late. Subway's a mess. 877 00:40:15,796 --> 00:40:17,164 Hey, champagne! 878 00:40:17,164 --> 00:40:17,931 What's the occasion? 879 00:40:17,931 --> 00:40:20,934 Listen, I'm sorry. 880 00:40:20,934 --> 00:40:22,803 Meetings, protests, fundraisers-- 881 00:40:22,803 --> 00:40:25,038 I love that life. 882 00:40:25,038 --> 00:40:27,207 You go along with me, sometimes I think, 883 00:40:27,207 --> 00:40:29,276 just to earn Good Fag points. 884 00:40:29,776 --> 00:40:31,211 Like I dole them out. 885 00:40:31,778 --> 00:40:32,646 I promise, 886 00:40:32,646 --> 00:40:35,382 never again will I pressure you to be more political. 887 00:40:36,416 --> 00:40:38,352 You're free. Poof. 888 00:40:38,685 --> 00:40:40,153 You don't want to write this article, it's okay. 889 00:40:41,221 --> 00:40:42,522 I'll find someone else. 890 00:40:42,522 --> 00:40:43,156 Thanks. 891 00:40:44,558 --> 00:40:45,559 Thank you. 892 00:40:57,104 --> 00:40:58,405 Jonathan, it’s just the 893 00:40:58,405 --> 00:41:00,073 pretending I'm uncomfortable with. 894 00:41:05,412 --> 00:41:07,547 I think I want to be above-board. 895 00:41:08,548 --> 00:41:09,282 You know, tell him 896 00:41:09,282 --> 00:41:11,451 I'm a writer, and do a straightforward interview. 897 00:41:12,953 --> 00:41:15,155 Like he would go along. 898 00:41:15,155 --> 00:41:17,858 And even if, trusting what he says? 899 00:41:18,925 --> 00:41:20,060 The only way to get the truth-- 900 00:41:20,060 --> 00:41:21,795 Is by lying. 901 00:41:22,462 --> 00:41:24,131 Get the fat-free. 902 00:41:24,765 --> 00:41:26,400 If he knows you're a reporter, he's never going 903 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,568 to give you honest information. 904 00:41:28,902 --> 00:41:31,571 Well, I hope you're wrong, because-- 905 00:41:32,739 --> 00:41:33,507 Frank. 906 00:41:33,874 --> 00:41:36,376 Okay, Jonathan, just don't flip-- 907 00:41:36,376 --> 00:41:37,878 Frank. Tell me you didn't. 908 00:41:38,412 --> 00:41:39,913 I kinda sorta did. 909 00:41:39,913 --> 00:41:41,181 Frank! 910 00:41:41,481 --> 00:41:42,516 Frank! 911 00:41:44,151 --> 00:41:46,086 What on earth were you thinking? 912 00:41:46,086 --> 00:41:47,254 I don't know. I just, 913 00:41:47,254 --> 00:41:48,255 I can't go through with this. 914 00:41:48,255 --> 00:41:49,523 After all our planning-- 915 00:41:49,523 --> 00:41:50,424 Your planning-- 916 00:41:50,424 --> 00:41:50,924 You sabotage-- 917 00:41:50,924 --> 00:41:51,792 Choosing not to do something 918 00:41:51,792 --> 00:41:54,027 your way isn't the same as sabotage. 919 00:41:54,027 --> 00:41:55,862 Whatever. Fine. 920 00:41:58,465 --> 00:41:59,599 It's over. 921 00:42:00,634 --> 00:42:02,569 There'll never be an article now. 922 00:42:02,569 --> 00:42:04,971 Oh, grow up. 923 00:42:05,305 --> 00:42:06,473 How about a little honesty here? 924 00:42:06,473 --> 00:42:07,841 Hey, just say it-- 925 00:42:07,841 --> 00:42:09,910 you don't think I'm good enough. 926 00:42:12,979 --> 00:42:14,281 Asking you to go 927 00:42:14,281 --> 00:42:16,416 undercover, was a mistake. 928 00:42:17,984 --> 00:42:20,654 If, if I always go halfway, it's because you, you, 929 00:42:20,687 --> 00:42:22,422 you build me up--you can do it, you can do it. 930 00:42:22,422 --> 00:42:23,924 Then you chop me down with your doubts. 931 00:42:23,924 --> 00:42:25,091 Okay. No more halfway. 932 00:42:25,091 --> 00:42:27,761 When this article comes out, I'll be saying, I told you so, 933 00:42:27,761 --> 00:42:28,328 I told you so, 934 00:42:28,328 --> 00:42:29,463 I told you so, 935 00:42:29,463 --> 00:42:32,132 until you're investing in earplugs stocks. 936 00:42:32,132 --> 00:42:33,166 I very much look forward to 937 00:42:33,166 --> 00:42:35,101 you proving me wrong. 938 00:42:36,903 --> 00:42:37,971 I believe that Dr. Apsey's 939 00:42:37,971 --> 00:42:41,141 approach and the basis of his psychotherapy 940 00:42:41,541 --> 00:42:44,811 is unethical, inappropriate, immoral, 941 00:42:45,745 --> 00:42:49,015 as well as perhaps malpractice. 942 00:42:49,182 --> 00:42:52,786 His use of language is very powerful. 943 00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:56,656 He, he comes across as sounding quite logical. 944 00:42:56,690 --> 00:43:00,527 I did not realize that 945 00:43:00,527 --> 00:43:02,762 Dr. Apsey would manipulate 946 00:43:02,762 --> 00:43:05,232 Mr. Johnston to such a degree. 947 00:43:05,699 --> 00:43:06,166 Of course, 948 00:43:06,166 --> 00:43:07,501 he was in a dilemma because he was talking 949 00:43:07,501 --> 00:43:11,538 about someone he loved, he cared for, but who I feel 950 00:43:11,538 --> 00:43:13,940 was using him unfairly. 951 00:43:15,809 --> 00:43:17,577 To left, or 952 00:43:18,612 --> 00:43:21,781 not to let, one never-truly- was-a-client, i.e., 953 00:43:21,781 --> 00:43:25,585 you, interview me for a potentially career 954 00:43:25,585 --> 00:43:27,521 threatening article. 955 00:43:27,521 --> 00:43:30,490 The roughly four-inch-by- four-inch area beneath 956 00:43:30,490 --> 00:43:34,227 my solar plexus currently is experiencing a 957 00:43:34,327 --> 00:43:38,965 not negligible inflammation commonly labeled, caution. 958 00:43:40,233 --> 00:43:41,635 My caution encourages me 959 00:43:41,635 --> 00:43:43,870 to say N.O. 960 00:43:46,239 --> 00:43:48,275 The four-point-one-pounds above my neck--the 961 00:43:48,275 --> 00:43:50,944 average male brain is actually three-point-one pounds-- 962 00:43:50,944 --> 00:43:53,446 I hope you'll excuse me for being a smidgen over-generous 963 00:43:53,446 --> 00:43:55,715 I'm feeling rather vulnerable. 964 00:43:55,715 --> 00:43:59,920 My brain assures me I have nothing to lose by cooperating 965 00:44:01,121 --> 00:44:03,223 You'll write the article with or without my input. 966 00:44:03,223 --> 00:44:05,725 If you lie, you lie. 967 00:44:05,725 --> 00:44:08,628 If you tell the truth, I can only gain from an interview. 968 00:44:09,029 --> 00:44:11,464 The single path to victory is to step aside. 969 00:44:11,765 --> 00:44:13,066 As the history of humanity 970 00:44:13,066 --> 00:44:14,801 and inhumanity clearly demonstrates, 971 00:44:14,801 --> 00:44:17,470 stepping aside is, of course, 972 00:44:17,470 --> 00:44:20,206 much more difficult than loading a gun and shooting it. 973 00:44:20,206 --> 00:44:24,044 How to step aside, make the correct decision? 974 00:44:24,911 --> 00:44:28,081 I have no earthly idea. 975 00:44:37,057 --> 00:44:39,192 And you're telling me this because? 976 00:44:39,192 --> 00:44:41,328 Ah, my analogy eludes you. 977 00:44:41,328 --> 00:44:43,463 Then I'll try again in a more simple vernacular. 978 00:44:44,097 --> 00:44:46,499 Ya like Oprah? 979 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:47,667 Sure. Who doesn't? 980 00:44:47,667 --> 00:44:49,736 I wouldn't know. Her people phoned me. 981 00:44:49,736 --> 00:44:52,806 I declined. Talk shows expect you to be combative. 982 00:44:52,806 --> 00:44:54,107 I'm not. 983 00:44:54,107 --> 00:44:55,742 They expect you to be defensive. 984 00:44:55,742 --> 00:44:56,309 I'm not. 985 00:44:56,309 --> 00:44:58,945 They expect you to be charming and have a sublime ability 986 00:44:58,945 --> 00:44:59,613 to banter. 987 00:45:01,214 --> 00:45:02,048 Well. 988 00:45:02,549 --> 00:45:03,516 Ha, okay. 989 00:45:03,950 --> 00:45:07,120 But honesty and integrity aren't assets 990 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:08,421 during a ratings sweep. 991 00:45:08,421 --> 00:45:11,858 Do you find my condescension of television arrogant? 992 00:45:11,858 --> 00:45:14,694 Extremely, but not unjustified. 993 00:45:14,694 --> 00:45:16,229 I'm pleased we see eye to eye. 994 00:45:16,229 --> 00:45:18,331 Now you must elucidate-- 995 00:45:18,331 --> 00:45:22,402 why would a wise organism trust the print media more 996 00:45:22,402 --> 00:45:24,871 than the electronic media? 997 00:45:27,941 --> 00:45:30,243 So, why did you ask me here today? 998 00:45:30,243 --> 00:45:32,979 You've initiated a game I'm powerless to terminate. 999 00:45:32,979 --> 00:45:34,481 So I intend to win. 1000 00:45:34,481 --> 00:45:36,816 You and I are not in opposition. 1001 00:45:36,816 --> 00:45:37,584 No? 1002 00:45:37,917 --> 00:45:39,486 If I refuse your interview, what will your 1003 00:45:39,486 --> 00:45:40,553 article say? 1004 00:45:42,088 --> 00:45:44,157 I'd say you're a, 1005 00:45:45,492 --> 00:45:47,727 you're a kind-hearted man who's misguided 1006 00:45:47,727 --> 00:45:49,796 in his attempts to change us. 1007 00:45:49,796 --> 00:45:52,032 Oh, as I suspected. You'd invalidate me and my work, 1008 00:45:52,032 --> 00:45:54,134 yet we're not in opposition. 1009 00:45:54,134 --> 00:45:57,437 Then you are naive, which benefits me tremendously. 1010 00:45:57,437 --> 00:45:58,605 I will win much more easily. 1011 00:45:59,739 --> 00:46:01,374 Now. You've unfairly labeled me as misguided. 1012 00:46:01,374 --> 00:46:03,009 How can I prove otherwise? 1013 00:46:03,009 --> 00:46:04,611 Prove your therapy works. 1014 00:46:04,611 --> 00:46:06,079 Prove it doesn't. 1015 00:46:06,079 --> 00:46:06,880 That is not my-- 1016 00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:08,314 And why not? 1017 00:46:08,314 --> 00:46:10,450 Your Dr. Baldwin and his fancy office claims 1018 00:46:10,450 --> 00:46:11,284 I'm a fraud. 1019 00:46:11,284 --> 00:46:13,319 Do you ask him for proof? 1020 00:46:13,319 --> 00:46:14,688 No. Because he-- 1021 00:46:14,688 --> 00:46:15,188 what? 1022 00:46:15,188 --> 00:46:17,323 He cooks your dinner, warms your bed, 1023 00:46:17,323 --> 00:46:18,858 so his assertions go unchallenged. 1024 00:46:18,858 --> 00:46:20,560 You know his last name. How? 1025 00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:23,096 Oh, I've done a dollop of research this past week. 1026 00:46:23,630 --> 00:46:26,733 Your community is small and quite talkative. 1027 00:46:26,733 --> 00:46:27,600 Information equals strength. 1028 00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:30,670 I intend to play your game from a position of strength. 1029 00:46:30,670 --> 00:46:31,204 And you've 1030 00:46:31,204 --> 00:46:33,873 certainly gone out of your way to let me know this. 1031 00:46:35,675 --> 00:46:38,111 I wonder--does a man secure in his strength 1032 00:46:38,111 --> 00:46:40,580 go out of his way to reveal how strong he is? 1033 00:46:43,983 --> 00:46:44,784 I like you, 1034 00:46:44,784 --> 00:46:45,852 Mr. Johnston. 1035 00:46:48,555 --> 00:46:50,123 Next question. 1036 00:46:54,794 --> 00:46:55,328 Okay. 1037 00:46:55,328 --> 00:46:58,031 Why this type of work? 1038 00:46:58,031 --> 00:47:00,467 If I weren't so terribly shy, I'd put it in a brochure. 1039 00:47:00,467 --> 00:47:03,503 People ask so frequently. 1040 00:47:09,476 --> 00:47:12,812 My younger brother was similar to you, 1041 00:47:12,812 --> 00:47:13,747 my clients. 1042 00:47:15,448 --> 00:47:16,716 I thought, 1043 00:47:16,716 --> 00:47:19,085 I don't care, who cares? 1044 00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:21,821 Turned out, he cared. 1045 00:47:23,289 --> 00:47:25,158 I was nineteen. 1046 00:47:25,158 --> 00:47:26,793 I was away at college. 1047 00:47:29,662 --> 00:47:30,296 One day, 1048 00:47:30,296 --> 00:47:32,298 I received a letter from him. 1049 00:47:33,967 --> 00:47:37,337 Using the corner of a razor blade as a pen, and his blood 1050 00:47:37,337 --> 00:47:38,171 as ink, 1051 00:47:39,606 --> 00:47:41,641 he wrote, "I won't live this way. 1052 00:47:42,642 --> 00:47:43,777 I'm sorry." 1053 00:47:47,580 --> 00:47:48,848 When my clients frustrate me, 1054 00:47:48,848 --> 00:47:50,483 I think of my brother. 1055 00:47:54,521 --> 00:47:55,655 Okay. 1056 00:47:58,291 --> 00:48:00,660 And, how do I know 1057 00:48:00,660 --> 00:48:01,694 this really happened? 1058 00:48:04,030 --> 00:48:05,665 Here, I'll show you the blood-drenched letter 1059 00:48:05,665 --> 00:48:06,399 I carry in my wallet. 1060 00:48:06,399 --> 00:48:07,066 I'm sorry, 1061 00:48:07,066 --> 00:48:09,803 "gay teen kills self." It's very tragic. 1062 00:48:11,237 --> 00:48:13,039 It's also very convenient-- 1063 00:48:13,039 --> 00:48:15,942 a dead brother motivating you to save 1064 00:48:15,942 --> 00:48:18,778 the poor gay men from killing themselves. 1065 00:48:21,347 --> 00:48:23,216 I am so thoroughly pleased you were never a client, 1066 00:48:23,216 --> 00:48:25,285 because now I have complete freedom to say-- 1067 00:48:26,319 --> 00:48:28,254 Fuck you! 1068 00:48:28,421 --> 00:48:31,024 Fuck you! Fuck you! 1069 00:48:32,992 --> 00:48:35,161 Heavens, "fuck" is a lovely word. 1070 00:48:35,161 --> 00:48:37,197 I'll have to remember to use it more frequently. 1071 00:48:38,932 --> 00:48:40,166 Is your outburst intended to distract 1072 00:48:40,166 --> 00:48:42,268 from the question of proof? 1073 00:48:45,705 --> 00:48:48,641 March 23rd, 1971. 1074 00:48:48,641 --> 00:48:50,410 His obituary, two days later. 1075 00:48:50,410 --> 00:48:52,512 Morton, Illinois. 1076 00:48:52,512 --> 00:48:54,681 Morton Herald. 1077 00:48:54,681 --> 00:48:56,482 Adam Apsey. 1078 00:48:57,550 --> 00:48:58,251 You want proof? 1079 00:48:58,251 --> 00:48:59,285 Do your own research. 1080 00:48:59,285 --> 00:49:00,653 Next question. 1081 00:49:06,860 --> 00:49:08,294 I need to interview 1082 00:49:08,294 --> 00:49:10,563 your clients who've supposedly succeeded. 1083 00:49:10,563 --> 00:49:13,366 I guarantee my clients complete confidentiality. 1084 00:49:13,833 --> 00:49:15,468 That's a convenient rule. 1085 00:49:15,468 --> 00:49:17,203 Oh, I suppose your Dr. Baldwin has allowed 1086 00:49:17,203 --> 00:49:19,505 you to interview those clients he stole from me? 1087 00:49:19,505 --> 00:49:20,373 Jonathan? 1088 00:49:20,373 --> 00:49:21,441 Do I detect surprise? 1089 00:49:21,441 --> 00:49:24,177 Has he never informed you that stealing my clients is 1090 00:49:24,177 --> 00:49:25,511 his favorite pastime? 1091 00:49:26,713 --> 00:49:28,882 Your clients? 1092 00:49:28,882 --> 00:49:30,183 If you won't let me talk to them, then 1093 00:49:30,183 --> 00:49:32,619 all I have is your opinion that they've changed. 1094 00:49:32,619 --> 00:49:34,354 And if you spoke with them, 1095 00:49:34,354 --> 00:49:36,489 would you believe them, or insist I brainwashed them? 1096 00:49:36,489 --> 00:49:37,924 Some people would say that, yes. 1097 00:49:37,924 --> 00:49:41,127 Yes, "some people." Attack dogs, really. 1098 00:49:41,127 --> 00:49:43,129 They bark and growl simply because my clients 1099 00:49:43,129 --> 00:49:46,132 have the courage to assume control of their lives, 1100 00:49:46,132 --> 00:49:48,401 and change themselves to find happiness, 1101 00:49:48,401 --> 00:49:49,502 while these "some people" 1102 00:49:49,502 --> 00:49:52,705 are wallowing in pain over the same sexual behaviors 1103 00:49:52,705 --> 00:49:54,240 they're waving their flags about. 1104 00:49:54,240 --> 00:49:56,009 I'm not in pain over my sexuality. 1105 00:49:56,009 --> 00:49:57,610 Did I say you? 1106 00:49:57,610 --> 00:49:59,512 That's your inference, not mine. 1107 00:50:01,180 --> 00:50:01,748 Of course, 1108 00:50:01,748 --> 00:50:03,583 now that you mention it, anonymous sex 1109 00:50:03,583 --> 00:50:05,485 followed by guilt-ridden drunken binges-- 1110 00:50:05,485 --> 00:50:07,287 That wasn't me. I made it up. 1111 00:50:07,287 --> 00:50:09,322 Oh, "made that up" means your subconscious mind 1112 00:50:09,322 --> 00:50:11,124 is barking louder than your conscious. 1113 00:50:11,124 --> 00:50:12,792 Which mind hardly matters. 1114 00:50:12,792 --> 00:50:13,927 As you've pointed out, 1115 00:50:13,927 --> 00:50:16,562 I'm not your client, so don't try to psychoanalyze me. 1116 00:50:16,562 --> 00:50:18,631 I'm here in a professional capacity. 1117 00:50:18,631 --> 00:50:20,300 How professional? 1118 00:50:20,300 --> 00:50:21,567 How determined are you to find out 1119 00:50:21,567 --> 00:50:22,902 if my therapy works? 1120 00:50:22,902 --> 00:50:24,203 Very. 1121 00:50:24,203 --> 00:50:26,439 Only one way. Go through the process. You change 1122 00:50:26,439 --> 00:50:27,407 you'll know. 1123 00:50:27,407 --> 00:50:28,641 Not possible. 1124 00:50:28,641 --> 00:50:29,475 Well, then, 1125 00:50:29,475 --> 00:50:32,345 Mr. Professional has a professional dilemma. To write 1126 00:50:32,345 --> 00:50:34,614 my therapy works, you need proof. 1127 00:50:34,614 --> 00:50:36,549 The only way to obtain such proof 1128 00:50:36,549 --> 00:50:38,151 is to experience the process. 1129 00:50:38,151 --> 00:50:40,620 Yet, if you write my therapy doesn't work, 1130 00:50:40,620 --> 00:50:42,622 you'll know you failed to test it. 1131 00:50:43,089 --> 00:50:44,624 How unprofessional. 1132 00:50:47,193 --> 00:50:48,328 Don't mind-fuck 1133 00:50:48,328 --> 00:50:49,829 me, Doctor. 1134 00:50:49,829 --> 00:50:51,331 Hardly my style, Mister. 1135 00:50:51,331 --> 00:50:53,499 I am merely encouraging in you 1136 00:50:53,499 --> 00:50:55,668 a professionalism I know you possess. 1137 00:50:57,070 --> 00:50:59,539 I've been to the library to sample your articles. 1138 00:50:59,539 --> 00:51:02,442 Would you rise above the tulips? 1139 00:51:02,442 --> 00:51:05,111 The world is filled with weak organisms. 1140 00:51:05,111 --> 00:51:06,913 Don't be one of them. 1141 00:51:12,485 --> 00:51:14,854 I didn't steal Frankenstein's clients. 1142 00:51:15,388 --> 00:51:18,024 Some of his clients chose to see me. 1143 00:51:18,024 --> 00:51:19,892 I'd think you'd be happy, not upset. 1144 00:51:19,892 --> 00:51:21,060 I'm not upset-- 1145 00:51:21,060 --> 00:51:22,462 Excuse me. You seem upset. 1146 00:51:22,462 --> 00:51:23,129 I'm not upset 1147 00:51:23,129 --> 00:51:24,630 you're seeing his clients-- 1148 00:51:27,734 --> 00:51:28,534 I'm upset 1149 00:51:28,534 --> 00:51:30,003 you didn't tell me. 1150 00:51:30,003 --> 00:51:31,738 I never discuss my clients with you. 1151 00:51:31,738 --> 00:51:32,972 Corners, please. 1152 00:51:33,573 --> 00:51:34,340 This is different. 1153 00:51:34,340 --> 00:51:35,508 If you've got men who've 1154 00:51:35,508 --> 00:51:37,543 been through his process, I need to interview them. 1155 00:51:38,411 --> 00:51:41,481 Uh, no. I can't encourage my clients to talk to a reporter. 1156 00:51:41,481 --> 00:51:42,548 Any reporter. 1157 00:51:42,548 --> 00:51:43,883 They're too vulnerable. 1158 00:51:43,883 --> 00:51:44,584 Would hurt to ask? 1159 00:51:44,584 --> 00:51:45,451 Yes. 1160 00:51:45,451 --> 00:51:46,452 It's my professional obligation 1161 00:51:46,452 --> 00:51:47,787 to protect my clients. 1162 00:51:47,787 --> 00:51:50,890 And I'm professionally obligated to find proof before 1163 00:51:50,890 --> 00:51:52,291 I write he's a fraud. 1164 00:51:52,992 --> 00:51:54,293 My ethics are expendable, 1165 00:51:54,293 --> 00:51:55,495 and yours aren't? 1166 00:51:55,762 --> 00:51:57,063 The proof would be sitting in your lap 1167 00:51:57,063 --> 00:51:58,631 you hadn't told him you're a reporter. 1168 00:51:58,631 --> 00:51:59,932 You won't let me talk to your clients. 1169 00:51:59,932 --> 00:52:02,168 What do you expect me to do? 1170 00:52:02,168 --> 00:52:03,002 Nothing. 1171 00:52:05,671 --> 00:52:06,606 I thought 1172 00:52:07,240 --> 00:52:08,541 you write the article, 1173 00:52:08,541 --> 00:52:11,310 the Board's alerted, Apsey loses his license. 1174 00:52:12,879 --> 00:52:15,114 Me involving you to keep my name out of it, was just 1175 00:52:15,114 --> 00:52:18,518 cowardly. I'm going to the Board to file a complaint. 1176 00:52:19,786 --> 00:52:21,621 What he's doing is worse than just unethical, 1177 00:52:21,621 --> 00:52:22,355 it's malpractice. 1178 00:52:22,355 --> 00:52:24,757 And if there's any justice, he'll lose his license. 1179 00:52:24,757 --> 00:52:26,726 Whoa, whoa, whoa. You file a complaint, 1180 00:52:26,726 --> 00:52:28,027 you sabotage my article. 1181 00:52:28,027 --> 00:52:29,495 You think after Frankenstein's notified, he'll 1182 00:52:29,495 --> 00:52:30,463 ever talk to me again? 1183 00:52:30,463 --> 00:52:31,964 So what? 1184 00:52:31,964 --> 00:52:34,834 The goal is to stop him. From me filing a complaint, 1185 00:52:34,834 --> 00:52:36,769 or you writing an article-- what's it matter? 1186 00:52:36,769 --> 00:52:38,471 It matters. It matters to me. 1187 00:52:38,471 --> 00:52:41,474 You challenged me. You can't un-challenge. 1188 00:52:42,642 --> 00:52:43,076 The other day 1189 00:52:43,076 --> 00:52:44,544 you told me not to quit. 1190 00:52:46,045 --> 00:52:47,680 Don't get in my way. 1191 00:53:09,635 --> 00:53:12,271 This isn't a drop-in clinic. 1192 00:53:13,940 --> 00:53:16,442 I wanted to apologize for doubting, about your brother. 1193 00:53:16,976 --> 00:53:19,212 And since you're here, I suppose more questions. 1194 00:53:21,047 --> 00:53:21,581 You do, 1195 00:53:21,581 --> 00:53:23,783 he'll think your apology was manipulative. 1196 00:53:26,519 --> 00:53:28,788 No. No more questions. 1197 00:53:28,788 --> 00:53:31,457 I'm pleased. If you'd any more questions, 1198 00:53:31,457 --> 00:53:34,460 how could I not have doubted the sincerity of your apology? 1199 00:53:36,195 --> 00:53:37,096 Well, 1200 00:53:38,397 --> 00:53:41,501 since you've no new questions yet, you're here, 1201 00:53:42,802 --> 00:53:45,571 may I ask questions of you? 1202 00:53:47,306 --> 00:53:48,341 Okay. 1203 00:53:49,509 --> 00:53:50,343 How would 1204 00:53:50,343 --> 00:53:52,445 Dr. Arthur Alexander Apsey-- 1205 00:53:52,445 --> 00:53:56,549 excuse me, Arthur Alexander Apsey, PhD-- 1206 00:53:57,850 --> 00:54:00,786 a spoonful of alphabet soup following my name steadies me. 1207 00:54:01,787 --> 00:54:02,922 When I feel off balance, 1208 00:54:02,922 --> 00:54:06,526 my wife scolds me, my pomposity explodes. 1209 00:54:07,293 --> 00:54:08,861 Gee, gosh darn it, I tell her, 1210 00:54:08,861 --> 00:54:10,730 good thing you're a saint. 1211 00:54:10,730 --> 00:54:12,431 Your question? 1212 00:54:12,431 --> 00:54:13,933 Ah, yes. 1213 00:54:13,933 --> 00:54:18,371 One--is same sex behavior a clinical pathology? 1214 00:54:19,272 --> 00:54:21,340 No, merely undesirable. 1215 00:54:21,474 --> 00:54:23,910 Heterosexual behavior is the superior choice. 1216 00:54:24,677 --> 00:54:27,113 Question two--would or could 1217 00:54:27,113 --> 00:54:30,550 I force a male organism to change his sexual behavior? 1218 00:54:32,485 --> 00:54:33,052 Never. 1219 00:54:33,052 --> 00:54:35,621 Your process only works on voluntary participants. 1220 00:54:35,821 --> 00:54:38,991 Question three--is same-sex sex 1221 00:54:38,991 --> 00:54:40,259 natural? 1222 00:54:42,461 --> 00:54:45,097 Homosexual behavior occurs across many cultures. 1223 00:54:45,898 --> 00:54:47,567 But so what? 1224 00:54:47,567 --> 00:54:49,669 In every society, human beings kill one another. 1225 00:54:49,669 --> 00:54:51,137 Does that make murder natural? 1226 00:54:51,137 --> 00:54:54,207 If so, then nature is terribly overrated. 1227 00:54:54,340 --> 00:54:56,509 Congratulations, Mr. Johnston. 1228 00:54:56,509 --> 00:54:59,679 You understand my theories well enough to parrot. 1229 00:54:59,679 --> 00:55:01,514 You've admittedly no new questions. Yet, 1230 00:55:01,514 --> 00:55:03,583 here you are. Why? 1231 00:55:04,483 --> 00:55:05,918 I came to apologize. 1232 00:55:05,918 --> 00:55:08,321 A letter or a phone message would have sufficed. 1233 00:55:08,421 --> 00:55:11,958 Excuse me for being personal. 1234 00:55:12,158 --> 00:55:14,227 Why write such an unlikely article in the first place? 1235 00:55:15,795 --> 00:55:17,830 Why spew such poorly crafted lies? 1236 00:55:18,965 --> 00:55:21,500 So, I'd catch you? Force a confession? 1237 00:55:22,868 --> 00:55:24,203 Why haven't you located any of the men 1238 00:55:24,203 --> 00:55:26,172 who've completed my therapy? 1239 00:55:26,172 --> 00:55:27,840 As though my refusal to provide 1240 00:55:27,840 --> 00:55:29,976 their names would have stopped a more determined reporter. 1241 00:55:31,210 --> 00:55:32,645 And why, today, 1242 00:55:32,645 --> 00:55:34,280 have you no new questions, 1243 00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:35,615 when if I were writing the article, 1244 00:55:35,615 --> 00:55:37,783 the most important questions I'd have are still unanswered? 1245 00:55:38,651 --> 00:55:41,153 The only answer that makes any sense is--what you want, 1246 00:55:41,153 --> 00:55:43,122 you won't admit it. 1247 00:55:43,155 --> 00:55:44,824 Why do you think it's so impossible 1248 00:55:44,824 --> 00:55:46,459 for someone to like being gay? 1249 00:55:46,459 --> 00:55:48,361 I don't care about Mr. Someone. 1250 00:55:48,361 --> 00:55:49,962 My undivided attention is on you. 1251 00:55:49,962 --> 00:55:52,632 You have no idea what it's like to be this way-- 1252 00:55:53,199 --> 00:55:55,268 in a world that despises you. 1253 00:55:55,268 --> 00:55:57,270 Ahh, the blame game. 1254 00:55:57,270 --> 00:55:58,437 Society's abuse, 1255 00:55:58,437 --> 00:56:00,573 The government's neglect. Always somebody else's fault 1256 00:56:00,573 --> 00:56:02,041 you don't like the way you are. 1257 00:56:02,041 --> 00:56:05,244 But, just as much of the world loves you, as hates you. 1258 00:56:05,678 --> 00:56:07,880 Your books, your parades, your television shows-- 1259 00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:10,950 all insisting gay is good, gay is better, gay is best. 1260 00:56:11,617 --> 00:56:13,286 So if you don't like yourself, 1261 00:56:13,286 --> 00:56:14,520 maybe it's not because of the world, 1262 00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:17,256 but simply because--you don't like yourself. 1263 00:56:17,256 --> 00:56:18,224 And given your feelings, 1264 00:56:18,224 --> 00:56:19,525 I don't believe you've never wondered 1265 00:56:19,525 --> 00:56:21,861 what it'd be like not to have your sexual desires. 1266 00:56:21,861 --> 00:56:22,895 What gay man hasn't? 1267 00:56:22,895 --> 00:56:23,562 Bingo. 1268 00:56:23,562 --> 00:56:26,565 But, so what? Wondering isn't the same as wanting. 1269 00:56:26,565 --> 00:56:28,668 I like being gay. I like being gay. 1270 00:56:28,668 --> 00:56:30,336 I like being gay! 1271 00:56:30,336 --> 00:56:32,138 Is my message getting through? 1272 00:56:32,138 --> 00:56:33,639 Yes. A message is beaming 1273 00:56:33,639 --> 00:56:35,574 through, though not the one you intend. 1274 00:56:35,574 --> 00:56:37,243 Would someone say, "I like, I like, 1275 00:56:37,243 --> 00:56:39,879 I like," so fervently if he really believed it? 1276 00:56:39,879 --> 00:56:41,614 Or do you mutter it into your pillow every night 1277 00:56:41,614 --> 00:56:44,050 like a mantra, hoping repetition creates reality? 1278 00:56:45,117 --> 00:56:46,118 Every human 1279 00:56:46,118 --> 00:56:49,121 organism has parts of himself he doesn't like. 1280 00:56:49,121 --> 00:56:52,858 Exactly. And survival is finding self love, hunting, 1281 00:56:52,858 --> 00:56:54,193 digging, scraping it up off the sidewalk, 1282 00:56:54,193 --> 00:56:56,262 if that's what it takes, and allowing it to grow. 1283 00:56:56,295 --> 00:56:58,164 You choose only to survive? 1284 00:56:58,164 --> 00:57:00,232 What about thrive? 1285 00:57:00,232 --> 00:57:03,235 Survival is, it's talking, conning yourself 1286 00:57:03,235 --> 00:57:04,437 into self-love. Thriving 1287 00:57:04,437 --> 00:57:07,673 is transforming yourself into the man you can and do love. 1288 00:57:09,875 --> 00:57:11,344 You remember our first session? 1289 00:57:11,344 --> 00:57:13,579 I asked you if you wanted a pill. 1290 00:57:14,213 --> 00:57:16,382 Yeah, I remember. 1291 00:57:16,482 --> 00:57:19,218 Scientists have been developing them for years. 1292 00:57:19,218 --> 00:57:22,188 It's secret funding, secret studies. 1293 00:57:22,188 --> 00:57:24,357 This tiny pill 1294 00:57:24,357 --> 00:57:26,559 can forever change your sexuality. 1295 00:57:28,961 --> 00:57:30,229 Right. 1296 00:57:30,229 --> 00:57:32,164 It's merely a game. Play with me. 1297 00:57:32,164 --> 00:57:33,733 Not a chance. 1298 00:57:33,733 --> 00:57:34,433 I don't think so. 1299 00:57:35,267 --> 00:57:37,570 Why are you so terrified of the hypothetical? 1300 00:57:37,570 --> 00:57:39,004 Let the world take a pill. 1301 00:57:39,004 --> 00:57:40,673 Let the world take a pill so all its hate goes away. 1302 00:57:40,673 --> 00:57:43,042 That pill will never exist short of a nuclear bomb. 1303 00:57:43,943 --> 00:57:47,046 The world is here to stay, because the world is inside 1304 00:57:47,046 --> 00:57:48,214 us, inside our heads, 1305 00:57:48,214 --> 00:57:50,983 a world of other people's voices. 1306 00:57:50,983 --> 00:57:54,019 Some say you're good, okay. 1307 00:57:54,153 --> 00:57:55,554 Some say you're bad or evil. 1308 00:57:55,554 --> 00:57:57,990 But liking or disliking the way you are-- 1309 00:57:59,291 --> 00:58:01,427 how do you know those feelings are your own, 1310 00:58:01,427 --> 00:58:04,029 or a response to those voices? 1311 00:58:04,029 --> 00:58:06,265 You can't know how you truly think unless you 1312 00:58:06,298 --> 00:58:07,700 silence those voices. 1313 00:58:09,335 --> 00:58:11,971 Who's chattering in your head? 1314 00:58:13,406 --> 00:58:14,774 No one. 1315 00:58:22,114 --> 00:58:23,382 Jonathan. 1316 00:58:23,983 --> 00:58:25,484 I don't know. 1317 00:58:25,484 --> 00:58:27,953 I could go on all day. There's so many. 1318 00:58:27,953 --> 00:58:30,122 Exactly. And all together, if all those voices 1319 00:58:30,122 --> 00:58:32,024 are telling you one thing, what is it? 1320 00:58:32,024 --> 00:58:33,859 Be a Good Fag. 1321 00:58:33,859 --> 00:58:35,561 Yes. The best little fag in the world. 1322 00:58:35,561 --> 00:58:37,129 Is that truly what you want? 1323 00:58:37,129 --> 00:58:39,165 Or merely a response to those voices? 1324 00:58:39,165 --> 00:58:39,865 How can you know, 1325 00:58:39,865 --> 00:58:41,700 unless you remove those voices. 1326 00:58:41,700 --> 00:58:43,135 You perform exorcisms? 1327 00:58:43,135 --> 00:58:44,203 Quality idea. 1328 00:58:44,670 --> 00:58:46,639 From now on, you hear anyone's voice in your head you say 1329 00:58:46,639 --> 00:58:50,910 Out! Loudly, firmly. Out! Say it. Out! 1330 00:58:50,910 --> 00:58:51,343 No. 1331 00:58:51,343 --> 00:58:52,311 Or are you scared? 1332 00:58:52,311 --> 00:58:52,812 Don’t. 1333 00:58:52,812 --> 00:58:53,979 If you eliminate those voices, 1334 00:58:53,979 --> 00:58:54,613 Don't you dare. 1335 00:58:54,613 --> 00:58:55,981 Are you scared there'll be anything left? 1336 00:58:55,981 --> 00:58:56,582 Don't you dare do it. 1337 00:58:56,582 --> 00:58:57,416 Don't give in to the fear. 1338 00:58:57,416 --> 00:58:58,184 Out! 1339 00:59:00,186 --> 00:59:03,289 Good. Again. 1340 00:59:03,289 --> 00:59:03,989 Out. 1341 00:59:05,090 --> 00:59:05,658 Out. 1342 00:59:06,826 --> 00:59:08,561 I'd be walking around the streets, 1343 00:59:08,561 --> 00:59:10,062 Out. Out. Out. 1344 00:59:10,062 --> 00:59:12,865 If you can't verbalize it, snap your fingers. Twice. 1345 00:59:13,165 --> 00:59:15,134 And think it, out. [snap, snap] Out. 1346 00:59:16,168 --> 00:59:18,704 Out. Snap your fingers. 1347 00:59:18,704 --> 00:59:20,873 Quality. Again. 1348 00:59:21,807 --> 00:59:22,475 Good. 1349 00:59:24,643 --> 00:59:27,046 Now say it. Out. Out. 1350 00:59:27,780 --> 00:59:28,547 Out. 1351 00:59:29,181 --> 00:59:29,949 Out. 1352 00:59:31,150 --> 00:59:31,951 Out. 1353 00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:35,488 Out. 1354 00:59:35,488 --> 00:59:36,155 Quality. 1355 00:59:36,155 --> 00:59:37,756 Now look at the pill. 1356 00:59:44,196 --> 00:59:46,298 It looks like a vitamin. 1357 00:59:46,298 --> 00:59:48,734 The most potent medicine is often very simple. 1358 00:59:49,935 --> 00:59:50,603 Lick it. 1359 00:59:57,042 --> 00:59:58,143 The taste? 1360 00:59:59,578 --> 01:00:00,779 Nothing. 1361 01:00:00,779 --> 01:00:02,815 Lick it again. Lick it harder. 1362 01:00:07,253 --> 01:00:08,187 It's nothing. 1363 01:00:08,754 --> 01:00:09,889 You're licking with your tongue. 1364 01:00:10,089 --> 01:00:12,892 Lick with your imagination. 1365 01:00:22,167 --> 01:00:24,003 That's chilled raspberries. 1366 01:00:25,104 --> 01:00:26,071 Smell it. 1367 01:00:29,975 --> 01:00:31,810 A wet forest. 1368 01:00:31,810 --> 01:00:33,812 A tiny pill, looks like a vitamin 1369 01:00:34,313 --> 01:00:37,483 but tastes like raspberries and smells like a wet forest. 1370 01:00:39,184 --> 01:00:40,986 What magic. 1371 01:00:43,322 --> 01:00:45,190 Now ignore the hate. 1372 01:00:46,859 --> 01:00:48,761 Ignore the love. 1373 01:00:49,695 --> 01:00:53,566 Ignore the hope. Ignore the fear. Ignore the world 1374 01:00:53,566 --> 01:00:55,601 that says you're sick. 1375 01:00:55,601 --> 01:00:58,938 Ignore the world that says you're special. 1376 01:00:58,938 --> 01:01:01,740 Ignore being the evil homosexual. Ignore 1377 01:01:01,740 --> 01:01:03,776 being the good fag. 1378 01:01:03,776 --> 01:01:06,011 Hypothetically. The Big If. 1379 01:01:07,546 --> 01:01:11,650 If you could obliterate your same sex desires, would you? 1380 01:01:18,490 --> 01:01:19,692 You hungry? 1381 01:01:44,149 --> 01:01:45,250 You hungry? 1382 01:01:47,119 --> 01:01:47,786 Hungry? 1383 01:01:47,786 --> 01:01:48,821 Hungry? 1384 01:01:53,425 --> 01:01:57,196 Every shirt I own has a button missing. 1385 01:01:57,396 --> 01:01:58,964 What you say after brunch with your mom tomorrow 1386 01:01:58,964 --> 01:02:00,366 we go shopping? 1387 01:02:04,536 --> 01:02:05,771 Have you ever, 1388 01:02:08,507 --> 01:02:10,075 if there was a pill, 1389 01:02:10,075 --> 01:02:12,077 to make you straight, 1390 01:02:14,647 --> 01:02:15,614 would you? 1391 01:02:15,614 --> 01:02:17,850 Not in a million years. 1392 01:02:18,317 --> 01:02:19,451 You? 1393 01:02:19,451 --> 01:02:20,452 Not in a billion. 1394 01:02:20,452 --> 01:02:21,654 I love how I am. 1395 01:02:21,654 --> 01:02:23,422 Yeah, me too. 1396 01:02:23,422 --> 01:02:25,324 But for guys who don't, is trying 1397 01:02:25,324 --> 01:02:28,227 so, I don't know, evil? 1398 01:02:29,128 --> 01:02:30,496 Not evil. 1399 01:02:30,896 --> 01:02:32,231 Useless. 1400 01:02:32,798 --> 01:02:34,533 Yeah, of course. 1401 01:02:34,533 --> 01:02:38,170 But even if, maybe a guy has the right to try. 1402 01:02:39,171 --> 01:02:41,640 Sure, try. 1403 01:02:41,640 --> 01:02:44,243 Then in a month, or a year or decade, 1404 01:02:44,243 --> 01:02:44,777 it blows up 1405 01:02:44,777 --> 01:02:47,546 in some woman's face, or some children's faces, and 1406 01:02:48,147 --> 01:02:51,350 everyone has wounds that burn for the rest of their lives. 1407 01:02:52,418 --> 01:02:53,952 Shirt's ripped. Toss or sew? 1408 01:02:53,952 --> 01:02:54,520 I don't care. 1409 01:02:55,721 --> 01:02:57,956 I'm asking because I'm thinking of writing, 1410 01:02:57,956 --> 01:03:00,292 if a guy wants to try that, it's 1411 01:03:01,193 --> 01:03:04,096 I don't know, maybe it's kinda sorta not so bad. 1412 01:03:04,997 --> 01:03:06,899 It's a personal choice. 1413 01:03:06,899 --> 01:03:09,368 But a false choice. 1414 01:03:10,169 --> 01:03:12,971 I mean, for hundreds of years, they've tried to fix us. 1415 01:03:14,039 --> 01:03:15,741 They tried electroshock, 1416 01:03:15,741 --> 01:03:17,943 pumping us full of hormones, full of drugs, 1417 01:03:17,943 --> 01:03:19,611 cutting our brains, cutting our-- 1418 01:03:19,611 --> 01:03:21,213 Apsey doesn't do those things. 1419 01:03:21,213 --> 01:03:23,449 Frankenstein uses words. 1420 01:03:23,449 --> 01:03:24,983 No difference. 1421 01:03:24,983 --> 01:03:27,319 Whatever they try, we're still here 1422 01:03:27,319 --> 01:03:31,724 and always will be, because it never works. 1423 01:03:31,990 --> 01:03:32,758 Out. 1424 01:03:33,926 --> 01:03:35,360 I can't believe I just did that. 1425 01:03:35,661 --> 01:03:36,462 Out? 1426 01:03:37,129 --> 01:03:39,131 Oh, something Apsey said. 1427 01:03:39,498 --> 01:03:40,132 Oh? 1428 01:03:40,132 --> 01:03:42,101 You know, if you and I are arguing 1429 01:03:42,101 --> 01:03:43,869 and we come to a standstill-- 1430 01:03:43,869 --> 01:03:45,904 Wait a minute. 1431 01:03:46,371 --> 01:03:47,806 You're not talking to Frankenstein 1432 01:03:47,806 --> 01:03:50,209 about our private life, are you? 1433 01:03:50,209 --> 01:03:51,410 That's what one does in 1434 01:03:51,410 --> 01:03:52,611 therapy. 1435 01:03:52,678 --> 01:03:53,812 He's not your therapist. 1436 01:03:53,812 --> 01:03:55,013 He's research. Remember? 1437 01:03:55,180 --> 01:03:57,416 Yeah. 'Course. He's research. 1438 01:04:00,352 --> 01:04:01,253 Frank, 1439 01:04:05,157 --> 01:04:08,093 promise me you won't go back. 1440 01:04:09,027 --> 01:04:10,729 He's dangerous. 1441 01:04:10,729 --> 01:04:13,832 He will open your skull like cracking an egg 1442 01:04:13,832 --> 01:04:15,134 and reach his hands in 1443 01:04:15,134 --> 01:04:18,203 and he will kneed your brain like dough. 1444 01:04:18,203 --> 01:04:18,971 Until you won't even remember 1445 01:04:18,971 --> 01:04:21,306 you have a penis, let alone what you like to do with it. 1446 01:04:22,274 --> 01:04:23,709 I've seen it. 1447 01:04:23,709 --> 01:04:26,411 I have four clients who've told me how Frankenstein 1448 01:04:26,411 --> 01:04:29,248 has crept into their heads and destroyed their lives. 1449 01:04:29,248 --> 01:04:31,416 Please. Promise me you won't go back. 1450 01:04:32,184 --> 01:04:33,652 You've seen the damage he does. 1451 01:04:33,652 --> 01:04:35,154 I haven't. 1452 01:04:37,923 --> 01:04:38,724 Okay. 1453 01:04:40,125 --> 01:04:41,627 A new client started yesterday. 1454 01:04:41,627 --> 01:04:42,761 A pickup from Apsey. 1455 01:04:42,761 --> 01:04:43,328 Hello? 1456 01:04:43,328 --> 01:04:44,963 He's been seeing Frankenstein for about two years. 1457 01:04:44,963 --> 01:04:47,132 Who? How? Don't you wonder how? 1458 01:04:47,232 --> 01:04:48,066 Jonathan, 1459 01:04:48,066 --> 01:04:49,501 I'm wondering, with hundreds of gay 1460 01:04:49,501 --> 01:04:52,871 therapists in this city, somehow all of 1461 01:04:52,871 --> 01:04:55,541 Dr. Apsey's ex-clients end up seeing you. 1462 01:04:55,541 --> 01:04:57,409 How do they find you? 1463 01:04:57,409 --> 01:04:59,044 You develop a reputation. 1464 01:04:59,044 --> 01:04:59,645 Ha! 1465 01:04:59,645 --> 01:05:01,747 This new client, I could ask about you 1466 01:05:01,747 --> 01:05:03,315 getting an interview. 1467 01:05:03,315 --> 01:05:03,882 Double ha! 1468 01:05:03,882 --> 01:05:04,416 If-- 1469 01:05:04,416 --> 01:05:05,083 Beware the if-- 1470 01:05:05,083 --> 01:05:05,751 If? 1471 01:05:05,751 --> 01:05:08,654 If you promise me never to see Frankenstein again. 1472 01:05:09,555 --> 01:05:11,290 You're, you're, you’re-- 1473 01:05:11,290 --> 01:05:11,924 He's bribing you. 1474 01:05:11,924 --> 01:05:13,258 You're bribing me? 1475 01:05:13,258 --> 01:05:15,194 Although technically, there's no exchange of money or goods. 1476 01:05:15,194 --> 01:05:16,261 I mean, you're, you're-- 1477 01:05:16,261 --> 01:05:17,362 More like blackmail. 1478 01:05:17,396 --> 01:05:18,530 You're blackmailing me. 1479 01:05:18,530 --> 01:05:19,731 Not precisely blackmail, either. 1480 01:05:19,731 --> 01:05:20,766 I can't believe you. 1481 01:05:20,766 --> 01:05:23,135 I just want to be clear here, because if you're really-- 1482 01:05:23,569 --> 01:05:25,270 You're resorting to-- 1483 01:05:25,270 --> 01:05:26,471 He's manipulating you. 1484 01:05:26,471 --> 01:05:27,372 I'm manipulating you. 1485 01:05:27,372 --> 01:05:29,608 How dare you try to manipulate me, 1486 01:05:29,608 --> 01:05:31,977 you ask this new client, or you don't. 1487 01:05:31,977 --> 01:05:34,446 No strings attached. 1488 01:05:34,446 --> 01:05:36,181 All right, I will ask. 1489 01:05:36,181 --> 01:05:37,783 No strings attached. 1490 01:05:37,783 --> 01:05:39,585 What a weak organism. 1491 01:05:39,585 --> 01:05:41,353 No. If you think it's unprofessional. 1492 01:05:41,353 --> 01:05:43,422 You are stronger than that, Mr. Johnson. 1493 01:05:43,488 --> 01:05:46,124 Do it. Don't. Ask. Don't ask. 1494 01:05:46,124 --> 01:05:46,992 I'm getting whiplash. 1495 01:05:46,992 --> 01:05:49,828 You are stronger-- 1496 01:05:49,828 --> 01:05:50,963 Fuck professionalism. 1497 01:05:50,963 --> 01:05:51,630 I have. 1498 01:05:52,464 --> 01:05:53,699 Ask. 1499 01:05:54,066 --> 01:05:57,402 I don't consider my therapy, conversion therapy. 1500 01:05:57,402 --> 01:06:00,606 I consider my therapy-- 1501 01:06:00,606 --> 01:06:01,373 therapy. 1502 01:06:01,373 --> 01:06:03,675 Dr Apsey never, never 1503 01:06:04,743 --> 01:06:07,746 encouraged me to do anything against my own will. 1504 01:06:07,746 --> 01:06:09,514 People come to me. 1505 01:06:09,514 --> 01:06:11,383 I do not seek them out. 1506 01:06:11,383 --> 01:06:14,052 And I try to make their lives better. 1507 01:06:14,253 --> 01:06:17,689 The repercussions of Apsey's work were severe. 1508 01:06:17,923 --> 01:06:20,292 I believed that I was doing the right thing 1509 01:06:20,659 --> 01:06:23,428 for the good of my clients who have suffered 1510 01:06:23,762 --> 01:06:27,799 from this kind of junk science for far too long. 1511 01:06:33,338 --> 01:06:34,473 I've been clear-- 1512 01:06:34,473 --> 01:06:36,608 unannounced drop-bys are unacceptable. 1513 01:06:39,278 --> 01:06:40,746 You have severe boundary issues. 1514 01:06:40,746 --> 01:06:42,381 Yesterday that, that magic pill, 1515 01:06:42,381 --> 01:06:45,684 so-called, "game" was so, so, so manipulative. 1516 01:06:45,717 --> 01:06:47,152 I prefer the label, truth 1517 01:06:47,152 --> 01:06:49,521 facilitation. I offer a mirror. 1518 01:06:49,521 --> 01:06:52,391 Okay. So, maybe a mirror because swallowing a pill 1519 01:06:52,391 --> 01:06:55,193 maybe reflects, shows, that, that there's some part, 1520 01:06:55,193 --> 01:06:58,931 some teeny tiny, so teeny tiny part wants, maybe wants 1521 01:06:58,931 --> 01:07:00,465 what you have to offer. Okay. 1522 01:07:00,465 --> 01:07:02,634 But so, so, so what? This, this, this change, 1523 01:07:02,634 --> 01:07:05,070 supposed change--oh you say, you say it's not easy, 1524 01:07:05,070 --> 01:07:06,872 you say it's the most difficult thing to ever do. 1525 01:07:06,872 --> 01:07:08,407 But what you don't say, is, 1526 01:07:08,407 --> 01:07:11,443 the word you don't use, is--impossible. 1527 01:07:11,576 --> 01:07:12,311 Yes, Dr. Baldwin 1528 01:07:12,311 --> 01:07:13,679 and his clones have worked 1529 01:07:13,679 --> 01:07:16,081 tirelessly to promote the myth of impossibility. 1530 01:07:16,782 --> 01:07:18,951 But, I know, deep down, I was born this. 1531 01:07:19,151 --> 01:07:20,052 So what? 1532 01:07:20,085 --> 01:07:20,986 It's in my genes, 1533 01:07:20,986 --> 01:07:23,288 I have no control over my attractions. Ha, ha, 1534 01:07:23,322 --> 01:07:24,990 phooey, fifty types of bunk. 1535 01:07:24,990 --> 01:07:26,658 So maybe a chunk of your hypothalamus 1536 01:07:26,658 --> 01:07:27,993 is bigger than the average bear's, 1537 01:07:27,993 --> 01:07:29,861 or your mother dressed you in taffeta, 1538 01:07:29,861 --> 01:07:32,130 or your father was weak and distant, or your big brother 1539 01:07:32,297 --> 01:07:33,799 told you vaginas have teeth. 1540 01:07:33,799 --> 01:07:38,337 Who cares why? Inside each of us is the liar, 1541 01:07:38,337 --> 01:07:44,142 the thief, the killer, but also the saint, the healer, 1542 01:07:44,142 --> 01:07:45,243 the lover. 1543 01:07:45,777 --> 01:07:48,113 Isn't life about the parts of ourselves 1544 01:07:48,313 --> 01:07:51,950 we choose to cultivate and act upon? Isn't America 1545 01:07:51,950 --> 01:07:54,086 based on the belief of bettering ourselves, 1546 01:07:54,086 --> 01:07:57,122 of picking ourselves up, rising above? Transcendence? 1547 01:07:58,824 --> 01:08:00,459 In India, 1548 01:08:00,959 --> 01:08:04,463 a master walks across coals 600 degrees Fahrenheit. 1549 01:08:04,663 --> 01:08:07,099 His feet remain unburned. 1550 01:08:07,099 --> 01:08:08,800 A yogi locks himself in a vault 1551 01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:11,503 with just enough oxygen for an hour, 1552 01:08:11,503 --> 01:08:13,338 yet he slows down his heartbeat 1553 01:08:13,338 --> 01:08:15,841 so that oxygen last a day instead of an hour. 1554 01:08:17,442 --> 01:08:20,679 You tell me the human mind can accomplish these marvels, 1555 01:08:20,812 --> 01:08:23,515 yet can't control where you want to put your pee-pee? 1556 01:08:24,616 --> 01:08:25,650 I don't think so. 1557 01:08:25,650 --> 01:08:28,353 But a man walks on coals, 1558 01:08:28,353 --> 01:08:29,454 I can see that. 1559 01:08:29,454 --> 01:08:32,424 Yet a man says he's changed and you refuse to believe 1560 01:08:32,424 --> 01:08:34,793 that. But it doesn't matter whether you want to believe 1561 01:08:34,793 --> 01:08:37,763 my therapy works or not, because you still 1562 01:08:37,763 --> 01:08:38,663 have to choose. 1563 01:08:39,331 --> 01:08:41,600 A year from now, or five years, or ten years, 1564 01:08:41,600 --> 01:08:45,237 there's going to be a shot, or a gene therapy, or a tiny pill 1565 01:08:45,237 --> 01:08:47,639 that tastes like raspberries, smells like a wet forest. 1566 01:08:48,673 --> 01:08:51,343 Sexual attraction will change as easily as hair color. 1567 01:08:51,777 --> 01:08:54,379 Clinging to the illusion that my therapy doesn't work 1568 01:08:54,379 --> 01:08:56,248 nearly postpones the inevitable. 1569 01:08:56,248 --> 01:09:01,386 You. Everybody like you-- Will. Have. To. Choose. 1570 01:09:01,386 --> 01:09:02,320 So? So what? 1571 01:09:02,320 --> 01:09:03,321 What am I going to do? 1572 01:09:03,321 --> 01:09:06,691 I'm going to just renounce? Betray? Just reset my sights 1573 01:09:06,691 --> 01:09:07,993 and aim for heterosexuality, 1574 01:09:07,993 --> 01:09:10,929 because sometime in the future, it will be possible? 1575 01:09:10,929 --> 01:09:12,297 I don't care what you choose. 1576 01:09:12,297 --> 01:09:15,000 The motives behind my magic pill game were self-serving. 1577 01:09:15,567 --> 01:09:17,803 So you could experience the view 1578 01:09:17,803 --> 01:09:19,304 from my clients vantage. 1579 01:09:19,304 --> 01:09:20,705 So your journalistic portrait of me 1580 01:09:20,705 --> 01:09:22,040 would be more comprehensive. 1581 01:09:22,040 --> 01:09:25,310 So, so, the magic pill was to manipulate me into sympathy? 1582 01:09:25,310 --> 01:09:26,511 No more manipulative than the so-called 1583 01:09:26,511 --> 01:09:29,347 professional tactics you've used on me. 1584 01:09:29,347 --> 01:09:31,316 Considering the precarious position in which you put me, 1585 01:09:31,316 --> 01:09:33,085 I think I'll be forgiven if my magic pill 1586 01:09:33,085 --> 01:09:34,486 game was self-serving. Now, 1587 01:09:35,420 --> 01:09:36,922 no more dropping by. 1588 01:09:36,922 --> 01:09:39,891 I don't ever want to see you again. 1589 01:09:39,891 --> 01:09:41,259 Good luck with your article. 1590 01:09:41,259 --> 01:09:43,395 Thank you for allowing me to express my thoughts. 1591 01:09:43,462 --> 01:09:45,730 Be well. Be happy. 1592 01:09:45,730 --> 01:09:46,932 Be gay. 1593 01:09:49,868 --> 01:09:51,203 You're up late. 1594 01:09:51,470 --> 01:09:52,871 You're out late. 1595 01:09:53,171 --> 01:09:54,673 Dinner's cold. 1596 01:09:54,973 --> 01:09:56,274 I'm colder. 1597 01:09:56,274 --> 01:09:57,709 Come warm me up. 1598 01:10:02,514 --> 01:10:03,115 You eat? 1599 01:10:03,115 --> 01:10:03,815 Nope. 1600 01:10:03,815 --> 01:10:04,449 Tupperware. 1601 01:10:04,683 --> 01:10:06,118 Smells good. 1602 01:10:06,418 --> 01:10:07,986 It's the bread. Bananas were rotting. 1603 01:10:07,986 --> 01:10:10,122 I left something out, though. It chews like lead. 1604 01:10:10,155 --> 01:10:12,924 I'm sure it's delicious. 1605 01:10:15,093 --> 01:10:16,595 He said no. 1606 01:10:18,730 --> 01:10:20,198 He who? 1607 01:10:20,198 --> 01:10:22,100 My new client. About an interview. 1608 01:10:25,403 --> 01:10:26,938 Well, then the others. 1609 01:10:26,938 --> 01:10:28,406 If you could ask one, you could ask the others. 1610 01:10:28,406 --> 01:10:28,874 Frank. 1611 01:10:28,874 --> 01:10:30,876 I'd be careful, respectful. I'd give you a list of questions. 1612 01:10:30,876 --> 01:10:31,243 Frank. 1613 01:10:31,243 --> 01:10:32,410 One might be willing to talk to me. 1614 01:10:32,410 --> 01:10:33,678 Frank, I already brought the subject up, 1615 01:10:33,678 --> 01:10:34,646 as a hypothetical. 1616 01:10:34,746 --> 01:10:36,248 They said no. 1617 01:10:38,016 --> 01:10:38,984 All of them? 1618 01:10:40,318 --> 01:10:40,919 Yeah. 1619 01:10:40,919 --> 01:10:42,287 How convenient. 1620 01:10:43,722 --> 01:10:44,856 How many? 1621 01:10:46,158 --> 01:10:46,758 Four. 1622 01:10:46,758 --> 01:10:47,792 All four? 1623 01:10:49,661 --> 01:10:50,495 All four. 1624 01:10:50,495 --> 01:10:51,096 How amazing. 1625 01:10:51,096 --> 01:10:52,264 What an amazing show of solidarity. 1626 01:10:52,264 --> 01:10:53,231 Except they're not 1627 01:10:53,231 --> 01:10:53,865 all acquainted-- 1628 01:10:53,865 --> 01:10:54,799 Except they don't know each other, 1629 01:10:54,799 --> 01:10:57,269 so it's not solidarity, but coincidence. 1630 01:10:57,269 --> 01:11:00,172 So this is an amazing coincidence that all four 1631 01:11:00,172 --> 01:11:01,907 have so quickly dismissed being interviewed. 1632 01:11:01,907 --> 01:11:03,041 You don't believe me? 1633 01:11:03,041 --> 01:11:05,143 Such razor sharp perception skills. 1634 01:11:05,143 --> 01:11:07,212 Why would you lie? 1635 01:11:07,212 --> 01:11:08,513 How long have we been together? 1636 01:11:08,513 --> 01:11:09,848 Oh, how patronizing. 1637 01:11:09,848 --> 01:11:11,416 Why do you put up with this? 1638 01:11:11,416 --> 01:11:12,918 Don't patronize me. You know as well as I do-- 1639 01:11:12,918 --> 01:11:16,454 In all our six years, four months and thirteen days-- 1640 01:11:16,621 --> 01:11:18,723 yes, I know exactly-- 1641 01:11:18,723 --> 01:11:20,625 before Frankenstein entered your life, 1642 01:11:20,625 --> 01:11:22,694 do you remember even once, not trusting me? 1643 01:11:22,694 --> 01:11:24,062 I hardly have the power to make you distrust one another. 1644 01:11:24,062 --> 01:11:26,431 Dr. Apsey can't make us distrust each other. 1645 01:11:26,431 --> 01:11:27,566 Yeah, he can. 1646 01:11:28,667 --> 01:11:30,101 It wasn't until after all this started 1647 01:11:30,101 --> 01:11:31,536 that I began distrusting you. 1648 01:11:31,536 --> 01:11:33,672 You never used to hide things from me. 1649 01:11:33,672 --> 01:11:35,707 I'm not now. 1650 01:11:39,177 --> 01:11:41,713 Your editor called this afternoon. 1651 01:11:41,713 --> 01:11:43,715 I asked her how she thought the article was going. 1652 01:11:43,715 --> 01:11:45,717 She said, "what article?" 1653 01:11:45,717 --> 01:11:48,053 The article you told me she was so anxious to see. 1654 01:11:48,053 --> 01:11:50,355 She had no idea what I was talking about. 1655 01:11:50,522 --> 01:11:51,823 You had no right-- 1656 01:11:51,823 --> 01:11:53,959 I asked anyway. I'm not sorry. 1657 01:11:53,959 --> 01:11:56,394 Because I never had a vision for the article. I wasn't 1658 01:11:56,394 --> 01:11:58,496 gonna put myself out on a limb, 'til I was certain. 1659 01:11:58,496 --> 01:12:00,332 So, you lied to me. 1660 01:12:00,332 --> 01:12:02,867 I, I, I withheld minor information. 1661 01:12:02,867 --> 01:12:03,969 You never used to lie to me 1662 01:12:03,969 --> 01:12:05,804 until you started seeing Frankenstein. 1663 01:12:05,804 --> 01:12:07,839 That absolutely cannot be pinned on me. 1664 01:12:07,839 --> 01:12:09,140 The day we met, 1665 01:12:09,140 --> 01:12:11,710 you asked if I had plans for Saturday night. 1666 01:12:11,710 --> 01:12:13,979 I answered no, then rushed to the nearest pay phone 1667 01:12:13,979 --> 01:12:16,381 to cancel them. It's not a big lie, but a lie. 1668 01:12:16,715 --> 01:12:18,049 I lied about that plaid tie you love 1669 01:12:18,049 --> 01:12:19,918 when I said, it's only mildly unpleasant, 1670 01:12:19,918 --> 01:12:22,187 but in fact, it's extraordinarily ugly. 1671 01:12:22,187 --> 01:12:23,855 I've lied between the sheets that that thing 1672 01:12:23,855 --> 01:12:25,523 you do with the feather feels good, 1673 01:12:25,523 --> 01:12:27,525 when it just scratches. 1674 01:12:27,525 --> 01:12:28,827 I've lied about liking this 1675 01:12:28,827 --> 01:12:31,363 sugar-free, fat-free banana bread lead 1676 01:12:31,363 --> 01:12:33,031 slop you make. I've probably lied to you daily. 1677 01:12:33,031 --> 01:12:34,833 You got a spare month? I'll make a list. 1678 01:12:34,833 --> 01:12:35,533 And yes, 1679 01:12:35,533 --> 01:12:37,802 I lied about pitching the article 1680 01:12:37,802 --> 01:12:39,738 before I'd ever set eyes on Dr. Apsey. 1681 01:12:39,738 --> 01:12:42,040 So if you didn't believe in the article, why-- 1682 01:12:42,040 --> 01:12:43,742 Because I always do what you want. 1683 01:12:46,111 --> 01:12:47,612 Did. Past tense. Did. 1684 01:12:47,612 --> 01:12:48,947 And will you? Write the article? 1685 01:12:48,947 --> 01:12:49,781 Of course. 1686 01:12:49,781 --> 01:12:50,815 When? 1687 01:12:50,815 --> 01:12:52,417 Unrelenting, isn't he? 1688 01:12:52,417 --> 01:12:53,551 When I'm ready. 1689 01:12:53,551 --> 01:12:56,254 Show me. Whatever you have. 1690 01:12:57,656 --> 01:13:00,425 Anything? I haven't even seen a single word-- 1691 01:13:00,425 --> 01:13:01,459 It's in my head. 1692 01:13:01,459 --> 01:13:03,428 I'll put it on paper when I complete my research. 1693 01:13:03,428 --> 01:13:07,265 And, an estimated completion date? 1694 01:13:09,034 --> 01:13:10,902 The banana bread's not so bad. 1695 01:13:10,902 --> 01:13:12,304 You're too hard on yourself. 1696 01:13:29,487 --> 01:13:31,790 I know you didn't want to see me again. And I Know-- 1697 01:13:31,790 --> 01:13:32,657 Yes, yes, yes, 1698 01:13:32,657 --> 01:13:34,292 I expected you back. 1699 01:13:34,292 --> 01:13:35,126 You did? 1700 01:13:35,327 --> 01:13:36,127 Yes. 1701 01:13:37,595 --> 01:13:38,763 Of course. 1702 01:13:39,064 --> 01:13:40,298 But why? 1703 01:13:40,732 --> 01:13:42,167 You can answer that yourself. 1704 01:13:42,934 --> 01:13:44,769 I'm here for the article. 1705 01:13:45,603 --> 01:13:46,504 The article, 1706 01:13:46,504 --> 01:13:47,972 the article, the article. 1707 01:13:47,972 --> 01:13:48,573 Look me in the eye. 1708 01:13:48,573 --> 01:13:49,841 Tell me you've written even one sentence. 1709 01:13:51,910 --> 01:13:52,544 I thought not. Now, 1710 01:13:52,544 --> 01:13:54,045 the unanswered question-- 1711 01:13:54,045 --> 01:13:56,981 Was your smokescreen conscious or not? 1712 01:13:58,717 --> 01:14:02,087 Okay, listen, if a man-- not me--hypothetical. 1713 01:14:02,087 --> 01:14:05,323 If a man wanted to see you for therapy but couldn't. 1714 01:14:05,323 --> 01:14:06,758 Couldn't? 1715 01:14:06,758 --> 01:14:08,293 Yes. Say, he couldn't afford it. 1716 01:14:08,893 --> 01:14:10,795 I'd offer for free. 1717 01:14:10,795 --> 01:14:12,831 No, free has no value. I charge one dollar. 1718 01:14:13,531 --> 01:14:13,998 Okay. 1719 01:14:13,998 --> 01:14:16,267 Not because he couldn't pay, but for some other reason. 1720 01:14:16,267 --> 01:14:17,569 Whatever. He can't see you. 1721 01:14:17,569 --> 01:14:21,606 But he might want to kind of sort of maybe work on his own. 1722 01:14:21,606 --> 01:14:23,308 What would you tell him? 1723 01:14:23,308 --> 01:14:25,844 I would ask this man-- 1724 01:14:25,844 --> 01:14:27,512 when's the last time he had dinner 1725 01:14:27,512 --> 01:14:28,847 with a male organism who didn't 1726 01:14:28,847 --> 01:14:30,248 share his sexual leanings? 1727 01:14:30,248 --> 01:14:33,084 If it'd been a long, long time? 1728 01:14:33,084 --> 01:14:34,919 That would suggest 1729 01:14:34,919 --> 01:14:39,190 Mr. Hypothetical lacks comfort with the male gender. 1730 01:14:39,190 --> 01:14:41,159 All men have same-gender needs. 1731 01:14:41,159 --> 01:14:44,262 If humankind could accept same-gender emotional needs 1732 01:14:44,262 --> 01:14:46,431 as normal, homosexual behavior would disappear. 1733 01:14:46,431 --> 01:14:49,667 But, close-minded organisms label same-gender 1734 01:14:49,667 --> 01:14:50,869 needs as gay. 1735 01:14:50,869 --> 01:14:54,305 So if you feel and admit same-gender needs-- 1736 01:14:54,372 --> 01:14:57,442 you're gay. But you're not! You have same-gender needs. 1737 01:14:57,442 --> 01:14:58,109 That's all. 1738 01:14:59,244 --> 01:15:00,678 But--back to 1739 01:15:00,678 --> 01:15:05,817 Mr. Hypothetical. Meet men without his leanings. 1740 01:15:05,817 --> 01:15:08,153 Study how they interact, how they express, 1741 01:15:08,153 --> 01:15:10,789 or repress their same-gender needs. 1742 01:15:11,322 --> 01:15:13,925 Become friends with the type of man he wants to be. 1743 01:15:13,925 --> 01:15:14,759 And reading. 1744 01:15:14,759 --> 01:15:16,628 I'd offer a list of books that--really, 1745 01:15:16,628 --> 01:15:18,163 Mr. Johnston, must we maintain 1746 01:15:18,163 --> 01:15:19,664 this pretense of the hypothetical? 1747 01:15:19,664 --> 01:15:20,765 Yes. We must. 1748 01:15:25,303 --> 01:15:27,705 Would you care to peruse the list I'd offer 1749 01:15:27,705 --> 01:15:28,673 Mr. Hypothetical? 1750 01:15:28,673 --> 01:15:29,441 No. 1751 01:15:30,241 --> 01:15:31,075 Yes. 1752 01:15:31,443 --> 01:15:32,277 No. 1753 01:15:33,978 --> 01:15:34,879 Maybe. 1754 01:15:37,081 --> 01:15:38,416 If it's handy. 1755 01:15:44,155 --> 01:15:46,524 Hi. Sorry I'm late. Subway. 1756 01:15:47,292 --> 01:15:49,360 Subway's been screwed up a lot lately. 1757 01:15:49,894 --> 01:15:50,428 Yeah. 1758 01:15:53,097 --> 01:15:55,433 You were out late last night. 1759 01:15:56,634 --> 01:15:58,803 Were you staying away 'til I was asleep? 1760 01:15:58,803 --> 01:16:02,006 Absolutely not. 1761 01:16:03,041 --> 01:16:05,643 Ah, well, maybe. 1762 01:16:05,643 --> 01:16:07,378 I'm tired of fighting. 1763 01:16:07,612 --> 01:16:08,947 Come on, let's play. 1764 01:16:09,747 --> 01:16:13,818 You gonna tell me where you were? 1765 01:16:13,818 --> 01:16:14,686 I was out walking. 1766 01:16:16,187 --> 01:16:16,788 Serve. 1767 01:16:19,491 --> 01:16:21,025 You reeked of cigarette smoke. 1768 01:16:24,262 --> 01:16:25,363 I thought you were asleep. 1769 01:16:25,363 --> 01:16:26,531 I wasn't. 1770 01:16:29,267 --> 01:16:30,602 One--nothing. 1771 01:16:35,807 --> 01:16:36,407 So? 1772 01:16:38,877 --> 01:16:40,144 Went to a sports bar. 1773 01:16:40,645 --> 01:16:41,412 You know, 1774 01:16:41,846 --> 01:16:44,415 studying straight men in their natural habitat. 1775 01:16:45,884 --> 01:16:47,085 Research? 1776 01:16:48,820 --> 01:16:50,522 How's the article going? 1777 01:16:50,522 --> 01:16:52,190 Don't wanna talk about that. 1778 01:16:52,991 --> 01:16:54,092 Not going well? 1779 01:16:55,159 --> 01:16:57,795 The idea was yours, but now the article is mine. 1780 01:16:57,795 --> 01:16:59,831 From here on, Apsey's off limits. 1781 01:17:00,164 --> 01:17:01,266 Two--nothing. 1782 01:17:12,510 --> 01:17:13,711 Why'd you move up our racquetball time? 1783 01:17:13,711 --> 01:17:14,979 You're changing the subject. 1784 01:17:14,979 --> 01:17:17,181 Yeah, I know. Meeting canceled? 1785 01:17:17,181 --> 01:17:18,216 I didn't wanna go. 1786 01:17:18,216 --> 01:17:20,151 Jonathan Baldwin, not in the mood for a meeting. 1787 01:17:20,151 --> 01:17:21,953 Has the sky fallen? 1788 01:17:21,953 --> 01:17:22,720 Yeah. 1789 01:17:26,457 --> 01:17:27,959 It's my serve. 1790 01:17:36,467 --> 01:17:37,035 Please tell me 1791 01:17:37,035 --> 01:17:39,070 you're not seeing Frankenstein for real. 1792 01:17:40,772 --> 01:17:41,606 [snap, snap] 1793 01:17:42,407 --> 01:17:43,908 You've mastered that. 1794 01:17:43,908 --> 01:17:45,944 Have you ever considered communicating with words? 1795 01:17:45,944 --> 01:17:48,580 Don't call him Frankenstein. His name is Arthur Apsey. 1796 01:17:48,580 --> 01:17:49,581 Sweetheart, 1797 01:17:50,315 --> 01:17:51,149 I'm sorry 1798 01:17:51,149 --> 01:17:52,350 if you were born a way 1799 01:17:52,350 --> 01:17:55,253 you don't want to be. But you can't change that. 1800 01:17:56,154 --> 01:17:58,189 Not, I don't want you to, but can't. 1801 01:18:04,128 --> 01:18:07,332 You used to melt in my arms. 1802 01:18:08,232 --> 01:18:10,134 Now you repel. 1803 01:18:15,073 --> 01:18:17,375 When was the last time we made love? 1804 01:18:17,375 --> 01:18:18,810 That event was not momentous enough 1805 01:18:18,810 --> 01:18:20,044 to mark on my calendar. 1806 01:18:20,044 --> 01:18:21,613 Five weeks, two days. 1807 01:18:21,913 --> 01:18:23,281 Plenty of couples go five weeks. 1808 01:18:23,281 --> 01:18:26,284 You first met Frankenstein, what, six, seven weeks ago? 1809 01:18:27,685 --> 01:18:29,320 Coincidence? 1810 01:18:31,289 --> 01:18:33,524 And those men you were with at the bar-- 1811 01:18:34,459 --> 01:18:35,426 if they're so straight, 1812 01:18:35,426 --> 01:18:37,428 why did I smell them on your clothes? 1813 01:18:38,529 --> 01:18:40,632 Why do I smell them on your skin? 1814 01:18:44,769 --> 01:18:46,537 Please tell me you were safe. 1815 01:18:47,038 --> 01:18:48,439 I, I didn't-- 1816 01:18:48,439 --> 01:18:49,674 No lies. Yes or no? 1817 01:18:49,674 --> 01:18:51,075 Did you have sex with another man? 1818 01:18:51,075 --> 01:18:51,943 No! 1819 01:18:55,813 --> 01:18:57,115 No. 1820 01:19:08,192 --> 01:19:09,260 Remember I told you 1821 01:19:10,928 --> 01:19:13,364 in high school, you know? 1822 01:19:13,364 --> 01:19:14,732 Yeah, I remember. 1823 01:19:14,732 --> 01:19:15,400 I lied. 1824 01:19:16,334 --> 01:19:18,403 I was never bashed. 1825 01:19:19,570 --> 01:19:21,439 It never happened? 1826 01:19:21,439 --> 01:19:22,774 It happened. 1827 01:19:23,908 --> 01:19:25,109 Only not the way I told you. 1828 01:19:38,089 --> 01:19:40,458 The hell-hole I grew up in 1829 01:19:40,458 --> 01:19:42,994 had a town punk. 1830 01:19:46,964 --> 01:19:48,433 Every now and then, when the beer wouldn't 1831 01:19:48,433 --> 01:19:50,501 anesthetize the boredom, the town punk, 1832 01:19:50,501 --> 01:19:54,372 and his gang of punk wannabes would drive up to Chicago, 1833 01:19:54,372 --> 01:19:57,308 and set up bar in an open flatbed of a pickup, 1834 01:19:58,810 --> 01:20:02,046 spitting epithets at shoppers who fell into 1835 01:20:02,046 --> 01:20:04,782 the category loosely described as fruity. 1836 01:20:08,653 --> 01:20:12,490 One summer night, they spied a boy who 1837 01:20:12,490 --> 01:20:16,060 they laughed, was so fruity he could pose for a still life. 1838 01:20:19,797 --> 01:20:22,366 The fruity boy fought back. 1839 01:20:22,366 --> 01:20:25,269 The fruity boy got hit. 1840 01:20:25,269 --> 01:20:26,637 Got kicked. 1841 01:20:27,438 --> 01:20:30,108 Got a broken beer bottle ground into his face. 1842 01:20:31,542 --> 01:20:34,212 The punk and his buds bolted. 1843 01:20:35,113 --> 01:20:36,981 The punk went away to college and moved 1844 01:20:36,981 --> 01:20:39,484 as far from Chicago as he could. 1845 01:20:45,823 --> 01:20:49,360 Eventually, the punk 1846 01:20:50,394 --> 01:20:51,996 became me. 1847 01:20:54,665 --> 01:20:57,568 The memory of that bleeding boy, it consumed, 1848 01:20:58,736 --> 01:21:01,305 consumes-- 1849 01:21:04,776 --> 01:21:05,276 I see 1850 01:21:05,276 --> 01:21:08,246 on the street, a face, a scar. 1851 01:21:09,080 --> 01:21:12,350 I mean, I know what I did, but 1852 01:21:12,350 --> 01:21:15,887 I'll never really know-- 1853 01:21:18,956 --> 01:21:19,257 This, 1854 01:21:19,524 --> 01:21:21,159 this is truth? 1855 01:21:21,559 --> 01:21:22,727 I'm sorry. 1856 01:21:24,395 --> 01:21:25,663 I'm sorry. 1857 01:21:25,663 --> 01:21:27,365 You are amazing. 1858 01:21:28,599 --> 01:21:30,935 Who you once were, a self-hating redneck, 1859 01:21:30,935 --> 01:21:32,036 and who you are now-- 1860 01:21:32,036 --> 01:21:33,971 Super Fag. 1861 01:21:36,507 --> 01:21:39,744 People really can change. 1862 01:21:42,747 --> 01:21:43,581 Okay. 1863 01:21:46,450 --> 01:21:47,251 Truth-- 1864 01:21:49,720 --> 01:21:51,222 I was safe, 1865 01:21:52,123 --> 01:21:53,124 with her. 1866 01:21:55,860 --> 01:21:57,562 It was a her. 1867 01:22:24,288 --> 01:22:26,624 I'm aware of the complexity 1868 01:22:26,624 --> 01:22:28,326 of this issue. 1869 01:22:31,863 --> 01:22:34,799 I did not realize that 1870 01:22:37,368 --> 01:22:39,537 that it would come to this. 1871 01:22:39,837 --> 01:22:44,675 I take responsibility for how my emotional reactions 1872 01:22:44,675 --> 01:22:48,579 affected this scenario. 1873 01:22:49,380 --> 01:22:50,514 I haven't seen Jonathan, 1874 01:22:50,514 --> 01:22:51,649 I mean, I haven't seen 1875 01:22:51,649 --> 01:22:52,917 Dr. Baldwin 1876 01:22:56,787 --> 01:22:58,289 since ummm, 1877 01:23:04,962 --> 01:23:06,731 Dr. Baldwin and I are not 1878 01:23:07,198 --> 01:23:09,000 together, anymore. 1879 01:23:25,016 --> 01:23:26,817 [door buzzer] 1880 01:23:35,359 --> 01:23:37,662 If you haven't noticed from your watch, 1881 01:23:37,662 --> 01:23:40,031 you may notice from my attire--this is a thoroughly 1882 01:23:40,031 --> 01:23:41,999 inappropriate time for you to be here. 1883 01:23:43,034 --> 01:23:44,769 I was walking by. 1884 01:23:44,769 --> 01:23:46,737 At ten p.m.? 1885 01:23:48,406 --> 01:23:49,740 Please. 1886 01:23:59,317 --> 01:23:59,850 Last night, 1887 01:23:59,850 --> 01:24:01,852 I went to a bar. 1888 01:24:01,852 --> 01:24:04,355 You know, a regular bar, to study men. 1889 01:24:06,991 --> 01:24:09,093 And I met a woman there, blond, 1890 01:24:09,627 --> 01:24:10,661 curves in all the places 1891 01:24:10,661 --> 01:24:13,564 I'd want curves, if I liked curves. 1892 01:24:13,764 --> 01:24:15,566 I'm trying to figure out why I didn't care 1893 01:24:15,566 --> 01:24:17,368 she was beautiful. 1894 01:24:17,969 --> 01:24:20,371 She catches my stare, 1895 01:24:20,371 --> 01:24:23,441 thinks I want her. Flirts. 1896 01:24:23,441 --> 01:24:27,278 You know, sparkly eyes, head thrown back, a deep throaty 1897 01:24:27,278 --> 01:24:31,082 laugh. She helps me forget who I am and invites me home. 1898 01:24:31,082 --> 01:24:31,916 I go. 1899 01:24:32,416 --> 01:24:34,552 Then, the pre-sex dance. Men, women, 1900 01:24:34,552 --> 01:24:37,488 it's all the same. You know, 1901 01:24:39,824 --> 01:24:41,759 the heart's pounding. 1902 01:24:41,759 --> 01:24:46,130 It's me. And it. Out. In working order. 1903 01:24:46,597 --> 01:24:47,865 I stick it in, 1904 01:24:48,432 --> 01:24:49,600 I do it. 1905 01:24:50,901 --> 01:24:52,770 And it was off. 1906 01:24:53,170 --> 01:24:55,506 The smells, the taste were all off. 1907 01:24:55,506 --> 01:24:56,574 How could 1908 01:24:56,574 --> 01:24:59,377 such an ill-considered attempt end in anything but failure? 1909 01:24:59,977 --> 01:25:01,912 Which you knew beforehand. 1910 01:25:03,314 --> 01:25:04,248 Tea? 1911 01:25:08,119 --> 01:25:09,887 So, this escapade puzzles me. 1912 01:25:10,621 --> 01:25:14,325 I want to believe your mission to destroy me is terminated. 1913 01:25:14,325 --> 01:25:15,793 But I'm aware 1914 01:25:15,793 --> 01:25:18,129 of the possibility that you may still be hoodwinking me. 1915 01:25:18,863 --> 01:25:21,365 And quite frankly, this turn of events 1916 01:25:21,365 --> 01:25:24,001 makes me doubt your sincerity. 1917 01:25:24,001 --> 01:25:26,270 So, it's my turn to demand proof. 1918 01:25:26,937 --> 01:25:29,140 Proof? What? That I? With a woman? 1919 01:25:29,173 --> 01:25:31,242 No. A different kind of proof. 1920 01:25:31,909 --> 01:25:34,278 I'm filing a complaint against you Dr. Baldwin with 1921 01:25:34,278 --> 01:25:36,580 the Psychology Licensing Board. 1922 01:25:36,580 --> 01:25:37,348 What? 1923 01:25:37,748 --> 01:25:39,750 What he's done--going after me--is wrong. 1924 01:25:41,052 --> 01:25:42,153 Please no. 1925 01:25:42,153 --> 01:25:43,721 And you'll be expected to testify. 1926 01:25:44,388 --> 01:25:45,890 I won't turn on Jonathan. 1927 01:25:45,890 --> 01:25:47,958 I'm not asking you to. Merely tell the truth. 1928 01:25:47,958 --> 01:25:49,627 The truth is the same as turning on him. 1929 01:25:49,627 --> 01:25:50,995 If there's one thing you've learned from me, 1930 01:25:50,995 --> 01:25:51,829 isn't it not to lie? 1931 01:25:51,829 --> 01:25:52,596 Yes. 1932 01:25:52,596 --> 01:25:53,898 And if the Board talks to you, will you? 1933 01:25:55,166 --> 01:25:56,767 Please, don't do this. 1934 01:25:56,767 --> 01:25:57,802 I'll do anything. 1935 01:25:57,802 --> 01:25:58,502 Just ask. 1936 01:25:58,502 --> 01:26:00,638 But don't hurt Jonathan. 1937 01:26:00,638 --> 01:26:02,306 An acquaintance of mine at the Board 1938 01:26:02,306 --> 01:26:03,974 told me your Dr. Baldwin 1939 01:26:03,974 --> 01:26:06,243 inquired about filing a complaint against me. 1940 01:26:07,344 --> 01:26:09,346 I'm filing a counter complaint because 1941 01:26:09,346 --> 01:26:11,082 at the risk of sounding like a five-year-old-- 1942 01:26:11,082 --> 01:26:12,316 he started it. 1943 01:26:12,883 --> 01:26:14,418 If you're able to dissuade 1944 01:26:14,418 --> 01:26:15,419 your Dr. Baldwin, 1945 01:26:15,419 --> 01:26:17,555 I'd be less inclined to file a complaint of my own. 1946 01:26:17,755 --> 01:26:18,989 I'll stop him. 1947 01:26:19,990 --> 01:26:22,093 I imagine you overestimate your influence on 1948 01:26:22,093 --> 01:26:24,128 Dr. Baldwin. But, I'll wait one week 1949 01:26:24,128 --> 01:26:26,897 to provide you with the opportunity. 1950 01:26:26,897 --> 01:26:30,101 Now. Your misguided sexual attempt. 1951 01:26:30,101 --> 01:26:31,268 What was that all about? 1952 01:26:31,268 --> 01:26:32,403 I don't know. 1953 01:26:32,403 --> 01:26:34,171 You don't know. Of course not. 1954 01:26:34,171 --> 01:26:36,073 Shall we construct some possibilities? 1955 01:26:36,073 --> 01:26:38,709 Perhaps as research for a new article? 1956 01:26:39,110 --> 01:26:40,978 A rousing first person narrative on how 1957 01:26:40,978 --> 01:26:43,013 it was to sleep with a woman in, oh, 1958 01:26:43,013 --> 01:26:43,948 how many years? 1959 01:26:44,315 --> 01:26:45,282 Lots of them. 1960 01:26:45,282 --> 01:26:47,218 Any reality to this first hypothesis? 1961 01:26:47,351 --> 01:26:47,885 No. 1962 01:26:47,885 --> 01:26:49,420 Then hypothesis number two-- 1963 01:26:51,088 --> 01:26:53,991 this woman found so irresistible, 1964 01:26:53,991 --> 01:26:56,260 she began shoving hundred- dollar-bills down your shorts. 1965 01:26:56,260 --> 01:26:57,761 It wasn't that kind of bar. 1966 01:26:57,761 --> 01:26:58,429 Well, let me suggest 1967 01:26:58,429 --> 01:27:00,631 a particularly farfetched hypothesis. 1968 01:27:00,631 --> 01:27:02,700 Perhaps, 1969 01:27:02,700 --> 01:27:05,769 you slept with a woman because, gee, gosh, 1970 01:27:06,837 --> 01:27:08,405 you wanted to. 1971 01:27:10,474 --> 01:27:14,011 Ah, no response. 1972 01:27:14,612 --> 01:27:16,447 I'm not sure. 1973 01:27:16,447 --> 01:27:18,182 How could you be? 1974 01:27:19,950 --> 01:27:23,721 Clarity is unobtainable as long as you live with 1975 01:27:23,721 --> 01:27:24,688 Dr. Baldwin. 1976 01:27:26,290 --> 01:27:27,491 I love him. 1977 01:27:27,491 --> 01:27:31,729 So? The great romantic myth is 1978 01:27:31,729 --> 01:27:33,497 that love is the highest calling. 1979 01:27:33,497 --> 01:27:35,232 It's not. 1980 01:27:35,566 --> 01:27:38,035 I once had a client who justified sex 1981 01:27:38,202 --> 01:27:41,105 with his dog, because he loved the creature. 1982 01:27:42,139 --> 01:27:43,707 His dog! 1983 01:27:44,942 --> 01:27:48,312 Love is no excuse for poor choices. 1984 01:27:48,946 --> 01:27:49,813 The Dr. Baldwin 1985 01:27:49,813 --> 01:27:51,982 you love, set you up. 1986 01:27:52,349 --> 01:27:55,953 He used you for his own vendetta. 1987 01:27:56,353 --> 01:27:58,989 Why didn't he come to see me himself? 1988 01:27:58,989 --> 01:28:00,891 Because he didn't want to risk anything. 1989 01:28:08,599 --> 01:28:10,234 I like you, 1990 01:28:11,535 --> 01:28:14,838 but you've been one dumb dupe. 1991 01:28:15,272 --> 01:28:16,774 His pawn. 1992 01:28:18,008 --> 01:28:20,945 He's not a man to trust. 1993 01:28:21,679 --> 01:28:23,247 Your life has no room in it 1994 01:28:23,247 --> 01:28:24,682 for a manipulator like 1995 01:28:24,682 --> 01:28:25,783 Dr. Baldwin. 1996 01:28:29,119 --> 01:28:30,387 Clear enough? 1997 01:28:33,791 --> 01:28:35,192 I guess. 1998 01:28:38,562 --> 01:28:39,630 Good man. 1999 01:28:41,465 --> 01:28:43,434 Now, be firm. 2000 01:28:44,168 --> 01:28:45,002 In control. 2001 01:28:45,002 --> 01:28:47,271 Your Dr Baldwin will employ all his tricks 2002 01:28:47,271 --> 01:28:50,107 to demolish this decision. 2003 01:28:51,208 --> 01:28:52,710 Understandably. 2004 01:28:52,710 --> 01:28:53,911 He's got a lot to lose. 2005 01:28:56,480 --> 01:28:57,181 You. 2006 01:29:32,816 --> 01:29:33,684 Morning. 2007 01:29:35,819 --> 01:29:36,487 Hey. 2008 01:29:40,591 --> 01:29:41,892 Out all night? 2009 01:29:44,228 --> 01:29:45,829 Been thinking. 2010 01:29:47,631 --> 01:29:48,966 Uh-huh? 2011 01:29:51,402 --> 01:29:53,837 I'm thinking maybe it's time to, 2012 01:29:58,008 --> 01:30:00,044 it's time to, 2013 01:30:06,817 --> 01:30:08,252 to end. 2014 01:30:09,486 --> 01:30:11,588 Us. 2015 01:30:15,192 --> 01:30:16,527 More research? 2016 01:30:19,029 --> 01:30:21,465 You have the divorce experience, and presto, 2017 01:30:21,465 --> 01:30:23,867 more material for the article that never was? 2018 01:30:24,134 --> 01:30:26,370 I don't appreciate your attitude. 2019 01:30:27,771 --> 01:30:29,873 If I'm ever going to figure out what life 2020 01:30:29,873 --> 01:30:31,442 I want, I need 2021 01:30:31,942 --> 01:30:34,044 to leave. 2022 01:30:34,211 --> 01:30:35,379 I need... 2023 01:30:37,281 --> 01:30:38,415 Out. 2024 01:30:45,856 --> 01:30:46,990 I will let you go-- 2025 01:30:46,990 --> 01:30:48,592 no fight-- 2026 01:30:49,326 --> 01:30:51,195 if you swear, you'll never go back. 2027 01:30:51,195 --> 01:30:53,464 I can't. I won't promise that. 2028 01:30:53,464 --> 01:30:54,665 I won't let you go back. 2029 01:30:56,233 --> 01:30:57,401 What, you’ll tie me up? 2030 01:30:57,401 --> 01:30:58,569 Hire a twenty-four-hour guard? 2031 01:30:58,569 --> 01:30:59,770 Whatever it takes. 2032 01:30:59,770 --> 01:31:01,839 Frank, heal. Frank, sit. Frank, stay. 2033 01:31:01,839 --> 01:31:02,840 Frank write this article. 2034 01:31:02,840 --> 01:31:06,377 No, I won't live with your demands. With your, 2035 01:31:06,377 --> 01:31:08,645 your lies. With your manipulations. With you. 2036 01:31:10,481 --> 01:31:11,382 I lied once. 2037 01:31:12,616 --> 01:31:15,085 The bashing. That's the only time I ever lied to you. 2038 01:31:15,252 --> 01:31:17,788 Behind my back. A complaint against Apsey. 2039 01:31:17,788 --> 01:31:19,690 If that's not a lie, what is? 2040 01:31:19,690 --> 01:31:21,425 Yeah, I know. And he knows, too. 2041 01:31:21,425 --> 01:31:22,393 And he's gonna file a counter- 2042 01:31:22,393 --> 01:31:23,827 complaint if you go through with it. 2043 01:31:23,827 --> 01:31:25,929 How can trust you anymore? 2044 01:31:25,929 --> 01:31:27,197 It's a lie here, and a lie there. 2045 01:31:27,197 --> 01:31:29,133 And they build and build and build. All of a sudden there's 2046 01:31:29,133 --> 01:31:31,902 this swamp of lies just smothering our relationship. 2047 01:31:32,202 --> 01:31:34,471 A dark, dank, sludge that we're waddling through, 2048 01:31:34,471 --> 01:31:35,973 and I'm sick of the stink, 2049 01:31:35,973 --> 01:31:37,107 and I'm sick of you. 2050 01:31:37,107 --> 01:31:38,442 And I. Want. Out! 2051 01:31:48,385 --> 01:31:49,286 I don't, 2052 01:31:49,753 --> 01:31:51,221 I don’t mean this very moment. 2053 01:31:55,492 --> 01:31:56,493 That's mine. 2054 01:31:56,493 --> 01:31:57,027 Yeah. 2055 01:31:58,128 --> 01:31:59,830 You're packing for me? 2056 01:31:59,830 --> 01:32:00,564 Us. 2057 01:32:01,031 --> 01:32:02,466 Us? 2058 01:32:02,466 --> 01:32:03,367 Bermuda. 2059 01:32:03,634 --> 01:32:05,669 You always wanted to go, right? 2060 01:32:05,702 --> 01:32:07,638 Jonathan! 2061 01:32:08,439 --> 01:32:09,273 Yeah, yeah. 2062 01:32:10,007 --> 01:32:10,474 Fuck! 2063 01:32:10,641 --> 01:32:11,408 Fuck! 2064 01:32:13,610 --> 01:32:14,812 How many times have I told clients 2065 01:32:14,812 --> 01:32:16,046 you can't change another person? 2066 01:32:16,046 --> 01:32:18,282 Let go. And, yet, I can't. 2067 01:32:19,516 --> 01:32:21,518 I'm getting you away from that monster. 2068 01:32:22,186 --> 01:32:24,087 We thought you'd pull something like this. 2069 01:32:25,022 --> 01:32:26,056 We? 2070 01:32:31,028 --> 01:32:31,995 Where you going? 2071 01:32:32,796 --> 01:32:34,965 To Frankenstein's castle. 2072 01:32:35,766 --> 01:32:38,802 For a heart-to-heart. Or a fist-to-fist. 2073 01:32:38,802 --> 01:32:40,971 I'll decide which on the way. 2074 01:32:53,750 --> 01:32:54,284 Just, just, 2075 01:32:54,451 --> 01:32:55,886 just let me talk to him. 2076 01:32:55,886 --> 01:32:56,420 Relax. 2077 01:32:57,855 --> 01:33:00,190 Ah, the unannounced visit brigade's multiplying. 2078 01:33:00,190 --> 01:33:02,125 Dr. Baldwin, I presume. Welcome. 2079 01:33:02,125 --> 01:33:03,393 I’m sorry, I tried to stop him. 2080 01:33:03,393 --> 01:33:04,294 It's quite alright. The pleasure is-- 2081 01:33:04,294 --> 01:33:07,898 Nobody's. This war is between you and me. 2082 01:33:07,898 --> 01:33:08,432 Jonathan-- 2083 01:33:08,432 --> 01:33:09,132 Leave Frank out of it. 2084 01:33:09,132 --> 01:33:09,733 Don’t do this. 2085 01:33:09,733 --> 01:33:11,134 Shut up Frank. I'm doing this for you. 2086 01:33:11,134 --> 01:33:12,436 Shut up? You treat me like a child. 2087 01:33:12,436 --> 01:33:13,237 Then act like an adult. 2088 01:33:13,237 --> 01:33:14,304 I am. 2089 01:33:14,304 --> 01:33:14,905 I don't think so. 2090 01:33:14,905 --> 01:33:16,540 You, you, you act like an adult. 2091 01:33:16,540 --> 01:33:17,207 I, I, I am. 2092 01:33:17,207 --> 01:33:18,008 Gentleman-- 2093 01:33:18,008 --> 01:33:18,775 Oh, like that was adult? 2094 01:33:19,309 --> 01:33:20,110 Gentleman. 2095 01:33:20,444 --> 01:33:22,079 I don't do couples therapy. 2096 01:33:22,079 --> 01:33:23,847 Now, Dr. Baldwin, 2097 01:33:23,847 --> 01:33:25,249 I'm pleased you're here. 2098 01:33:26,216 --> 01:33:28,118 This game of yours has gone on long enough. 2099 01:33:28,118 --> 01:33:29,987 This is a game to you? 2100 01:33:29,987 --> 01:33:31,188 This isn't any game-- 2101 01:33:31,188 --> 01:33:31,855 And your pawn, 2102 01:33:31,855 --> 01:33:34,024 Mr. Johnston, is suffering. 2103 01:33:34,024 --> 01:33:35,993 I am not a pawn. 2104 01:33:35,993 --> 01:33:37,261 He's not my pawn. 2105 01:33:37,261 --> 01:33:38,428 You don't need to talk for me. 2106 01:33:38,428 --> 01:33:39,596 Then tell him. 2107 01:33:39,596 --> 01:33:40,797 Listen, I am not, 2108 01:33:40,797 --> 01:33:42,132 I was his pawn, 2109 01:33:42,132 --> 01:33:42,900 Frank. 2110 01:33:43,867 --> 01:33:45,435 But you don't have to call me one. 2111 01:33:45,435 --> 01:33:47,404 How dare you call Frank a pawn? 2112 01:33:47,404 --> 01:33:48,405 Don't defend me. 2113 01:33:48,405 --> 01:33:49,439 Well, apparently, you need it. 2114 01:33:49,439 --> 01:33:50,173 No, I don't need you to. 2115 01:33:50,173 --> 01:33:51,275 No, I don’t-- 2116 01:33:51,275 --> 01:33:51,842 I'm sorry to say you do-- 2117 01:33:51,842 --> 01:33:52,776 No, I don’t-- 2118 01:33:53,343 --> 01:33:55,312 Can we stop this infantile doo-doo? 2119 01:33:56,680 --> 01:33:57,714 Heavens, you two together 2120 01:33:57,714 --> 01:33:58,782 are a nightmare. 2121 01:33:59,383 --> 01:34:00,684 Can we get a collective grip? 2122 01:34:00,684 --> 01:34:02,386 Keep your sucking, strangling 2123 01:34:02,386 --> 01:34:03,620 tentacles off of Frank. 2124 01:34:04,121 --> 01:34:07,024 Because if not, every ounce of pain that you inflict 2125 01:34:07,024 --> 01:34:09,593 upon the man I love, I will turn back on you tenfold. 2126 01:34:09,593 --> 01:34:11,862 Until you're withered and broken 2127 01:34:11,862 --> 01:34:13,230 and too weak to fight back. 2128 01:34:13,230 --> 01:34:16,266 Blah, blah, blah, blah. 2129 01:34:16,266 --> 01:34:19,202 I’m sorry, I have no patience with such dedicated hate. 2130 01:34:19,202 --> 01:34:21,038 Hate is not a family value. 2131 01:34:21,038 --> 01:34:22,272 Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. 2132 01:34:22,272 --> 01:34:24,942 Hypocrisy for twenty! Take a look in the mirror. 2133 01:34:24,942 --> 01:34:27,744 A mirror? One of us is reported, both of us are. 2134 01:34:29,613 --> 01:34:32,115 There's no victory in sacrificing one another. 2135 01:34:32,115 --> 01:34:33,150 A truce? 2136 01:34:33,150 --> 01:34:33,951 No complaints. 2137 01:34:38,655 --> 01:34:39,723 No complaints. 2138 01:34:39,723 --> 01:34:40,390 If-- 2139 01:34:41,391 --> 01:34:43,327 If you agree never to see Frank again. 2140 01:34:43,460 --> 01:34:44,027 Agreed. 2141 01:34:45,228 --> 01:34:45,829 If-- 2142 01:34:46,363 --> 01:34:48,832 You never again steal from me another client. 2143 01:34:48,832 --> 01:34:50,968 Abso-fucking-lutely not! 2144 01:34:51,568 --> 01:34:52,803 What's more important to you? 2145 01:34:53,971 --> 01:34:54,905 Your Mr. Johnston? 2146 01:34:54,905 --> 01:34:57,007 Your clients? 2147 01:34:57,007 --> 01:34:59,276 Your license? You're stopping me? 2148 01:34:59,843 --> 01:35:02,079 You can't have them all. Prioritize. 2149 01:35:04,348 --> 01:35:05,749 You are pure evil. 2150 01:35:05,749 --> 01:35:07,784 I am pure nothing. 2151 01:35:07,784 --> 01:35:08,952 And neither are you. 2152 01:35:11,288 --> 01:35:12,055 Deal. 2153 01:35:12,055 --> 01:35:12,823 In truth, 2154 01:35:14,658 --> 01:35:16,426 To keep Mr. Johnston, 2155 01:35:16,426 --> 01:35:18,862 you'd condemn dozens of men to my therapy, 2156 01:35:18,862 --> 01:35:20,030 which you believe evil? 2157 01:35:20,030 --> 01:35:21,698 Do we have a deal, or not? 2158 01:35:22,132 --> 01:35:23,300 No. My offer was a bluff. 2159 01:35:23,300 --> 01:35:24,801 I didn't think you'd accept. 2160 01:35:24,801 --> 01:35:26,436 You may be willing to sacrifice dozens 2161 01:35:26,436 --> 01:35:27,371 of other men to save 2162 01:35:27,371 --> 01:35:29,840 Mr. Johnston, but I won't sacrifice Mr. Johnston 2163 01:35:29,840 --> 01:35:30,641 to save myself. 2164 01:35:30,641 --> 01:35:32,876 The only deal I'll agree to-- 2165 01:35:32,876 --> 01:35:35,178 no complaints, no conditions. 2166 01:35:37,147 --> 01:35:39,716 See you on the unemployment line. 2167 01:35:39,716 --> 01:35:41,885 Believe it or not, Dr. Baldwin, I respect you. 2168 01:35:42,319 --> 01:35:43,086 Fuck you. 2169 01:35:43,086 --> 01:35:44,554 Well, parts of you. 2170 01:35:45,022 --> 01:35:46,757 The part that dreams of a perfect world 2171 01:35:46,757 --> 01:35:49,493 where everybody is happy and well-adjusted. 2172 01:35:49,493 --> 01:35:50,694 That'd be lovely. 2173 01:35:51,028 --> 01:35:53,630 But in some men's perfect world, 2174 01:35:53,630 --> 01:35:56,299 they wouldn't be okay with their same-sex desires. 2175 01:35:56,299 --> 01:35:57,601 They simply wouldn't have any. 2176 01:35:57,601 --> 01:35:58,669 Do you have a son? 2177 01:35:59,302 --> 01:36:00,170 Dr. Baldwin, 2178 01:36:00,170 --> 01:36:02,005 you've chosen to fight to change the world. 2179 01:36:02,005 --> 01:36:04,508 A nephew? A friend or neighbor's boy? 2180 01:36:04,508 --> 01:36:05,242 Bang your head against the wall. 2181 01:36:05,242 --> 01:36:06,743 But others don't want to fight. 2182 01:36:06,743 --> 01:36:07,978 Somewhere, there is someone, in your life-- 2183 01:36:07,978 --> 01:36:09,146 Others want to change themselves-- 2184 01:36:09,146 --> 01:36:10,480 That you are destroying-- 2185 01:36:10,480 --> 01:36:12,182 Let others make their own choices-- 2186 01:36:12,182 --> 01:36:13,216 Don't do that to him. 2187 01:36:13,216 --> 01:36:14,051 Step aside. 2188 01:36:14,051 --> 01:36:15,018 Yeah. Step aside. 2189 01:36:15,018 --> 01:36:17,354 Hellooo! Remember me? 2190 01:36:21,425 --> 01:36:23,493 This was about me, wasn't it? 2191 01:36:25,996 --> 01:36:27,030 If this is about me, 2192 01:36:27,030 --> 01:36:29,399 why are neither of the two voices I hear mine? 2193 01:36:33,637 --> 01:36:36,173 It's like the two of you are on opposite shores, 2194 01:36:36,173 --> 01:36:38,442 I'm drowning, and you're yelling, "This way," 2195 01:36:38,442 --> 01:36:40,010 "No, this way," "Grab my life preserver," 2196 01:36:40,010 --> 01:36:41,278 "No, climb on my boat," 2197 01:36:41,278 --> 01:36:42,946 "I'll save you," "No, I'll save you," 2198 01:36:42,946 --> 01:36:45,582 Screaming so loudly, I hadn't even noticed it’s, 2199 01:36:45,582 --> 01:36:49,219 it's the two of you, pissing, shitting, 2200 01:36:49,219 --> 01:36:52,823 vomiting in the lake that makes the water so high. 2201 01:36:55,225 --> 01:36:57,360 I don't need to be saved. 2202 01:36:58,328 --> 01:37:00,764 I need to be left alone. 2203 01:37:04,868 --> 01:37:05,702 Out. 2204 01:37:06,570 --> 01:37:07,471 Out. 2205 01:37:09,072 --> 01:37:10,974 Out. Out. 2206 01:37:12,809 --> 01:37:13,810 Out. 2207 01:37:16,880 --> 01:37:18,181 I wish I hadn't met 2208 01:37:18,181 --> 01:37:19,182 Dr. Apsey. 2209 01:37:20,817 --> 01:37:22,352 Because, 2210 01:37:23,253 --> 01:37:25,922 though he was very logical sounding, 2211 01:37:26,923 --> 01:37:28,391 he confused me. 2212 01:37:29,092 --> 01:37:32,662 I think people don't want to entertain a possibility-- 2213 01:37:32,662 --> 01:37:34,564 His work is dangerous. 2214 01:37:34,564 --> 01:37:36,566 I believe that it's homophobic-- 2215 01:37:36,566 --> 01:37:40,303 They do not even want to think that a certain possibility 2216 01:37:40,303 --> 01:37:43,140 is in the realm of possibilities, 2217 01:37:43,140 --> 01:37:45,876 and anyone that might even bring that up, 2218 01:37:47,010 --> 01:37:47,444 is an enemy-- 2219 01:37:48,011 --> 01:37:48,945 If that 2220 01:37:48,945 --> 01:37:50,714 is a strike against me as far as this 2221 01:37:50,714 --> 01:37:52,482 Board is concerned, then so be it. 2222 01:37:52,482 --> 01:37:54,284 Why shrink possibilities? 2223 01:37:54,284 --> 01:37:56,753 My intent with the article was not to discredit 2224 01:37:56,753 --> 01:37:59,623 Dr. Apsey. Have you read the article? 2225 01:37:59,623 --> 01:38:02,959 I just present both sides. 2226 01:38:03,160 --> 01:38:05,295 Yes, I understand that this is 2227 01:38:05,295 --> 01:38:08,465 an ethics violation over which I can lose my license. 2228 01:38:08,465 --> 01:38:11,301 As a psychologist I never set about-- 2229 01:38:12,836 --> 01:38:13,904 I think it would be a mistake-- 2230 01:38:14,437 --> 01:38:15,372 To-- 2231 01:38:16,072 --> 01:38:18,074 I think it would be a mistake if I lost my license. 2232 01:38:18,074 --> 01:38:19,476 I don't think I've done anything wrong. 2233 01:38:19,476 --> 01:38:20,243 --become embattled 2234 01:38:20,243 --> 01:38:22,112 with another professional. 2235 01:38:22,112 --> 01:38:24,347 My record will speak for itself. 2236 01:38:24,347 --> 01:38:25,482 Dr. Apsey 2237 01:38:26,249 --> 01:38:28,118 doesn't need to, 2238 01:38:30,420 --> 01:38:31,721 he doesn't, 2239 01:38:32,088 --> 01:38:34,791 he doesn't need to-- 2240 01:38:38,628 --> 01:38:40,330 Just be who you want to be. 2241 01:38:56,580 --> 01:38:57,814 Thank you for finally seeing me. 2242 01:39:00,917 --> 01:39:02,853 I have a job interview at 2:15. 2243 01:39:02,853 --> 01:39:03,820 Talk. 2244 01:39:05,989 --> 01:39:07,624 I called because I want, 2245 01:39:10,994 --> 01:39:13,797 I want your recipe for banana bread. 2246 01:39:14,130 --> 01:39:16,366 I wake up some mornings and all I want is a slice of that 2247 01:39:16,366 --> 01:39:17,734 lousy bread. 2248 01:39:19,502 --> 01:39:20,670 Still games? 2249 01:39:20,670 --> 01:39:22,772 I'm trying to apologize. 2250 01:39:22,772 --> 01:39:23,607 Get on with it. 2251 01:39:23,607 --> 01:39:24,975 I'm sorry. 2252 01:39:28,011 --> 01:39:31,047 That's it? Two words? 2253 01:39:31,047 --> 01:39:33,183 After both you and Apsey filed complaints, that became the 2254 01:39:33,183 --> 01:39:35,418 story. I couldn't write the article without mentioning 2255 01:39:35,418 --> 01:39:38,288 you. I'm sorry you lost your license. 2256 01:39:39,122 --> 01:39:40,991 But he's going to lose his too. 2257 01:39:44,861 --> 01:39:46,329 What do you do now? 2258 01:39:49,299 --> 01:39:50,400 Start over. 2259 01:39:53,403 --> 01:39:56,306 Being forced out of my career, hey, 2260 01:39:56,873 --> 01:39:59,075 prevents a mid-life crisis. 2261 01:39:59,075 --> 01:40:00,877 That's the silver lining. 2262 01:40:02,746 --> 01:40:04,681 Some days that's all there is. 2263 01:40:10,820 --> 01:40:12,355 What you did was unforgivable. 2264 01:40:12,355 --> 01:40:14,124 Yes. Forgive me anyway. 2265 01:40:14,124 --> 01:40:15,325 You hurt me. 2266 01:40:15,325 --> 01:40:17,260 I know. You used me. 2267 01:40:19,963 --> 01:40:20,931 I know. 2268 01:40:21,631 --> 01:40:23,033 We shouldn't have. 2269 01:40:23,033 --> 01:40:23,533 We did. 2270 01:40:23,533 --> 01:40:24,567 Are we sorry? 2271 01:40:36,212 --> 01:40:38,949 You remember, maybe our tenth date, 2272 01:40:38,949 --> 01:40:41,484 we strolled in this park, by this fountain? 2273 01:40:41,484 --> 01:40:45,021 You stood behind me, your arms wrapped around 2274 01:40:45,021 --> 01:40:48,024 my chest, your kneecaps cradled at 2275 01:40:48,024 --> 01:40:49,826 the back of my knees. 2276 01:40:51,328 --> 01:40:53,430 You kissed my ear. 2277 01:40:54,197 --> 01:40:56,433 And I thought you were writing true poetry. 2278 01:41:01,171 --> 01:41:03,173 The truth if it's anywhere in me, it's in my body, 2279 01:41:03,173 --> 01:41:05,442 and my body knows--it's been designed to love men. 2280 01:41:05,442 --> 01:41:07,644 One overly ripe banana. Mush it-- 2281 01:41:07,644 --> 01:41:09,779 I know we can't go back, but we can go forward. 2282 01:41:09,779 --> 01:41:10,447 A future-- 2283 01:41:10,447 --> 01:41:11,948 Three cups self-rising flour-- 2284 01:41:11,948 --> 01:41:13,717 Us, no lies, no manipulations. 2285 01:41:13,717 --> 01:41:15,485 --Self-rising or it chews like lead. 2286 01:41:15,485 --> 01:41:16,586 We're capable of that, aren't we? 2287 01:41:16,586 --> 01:41:17,787 Sometimes I forget the self-rising-- 2288 01:41:17,787 --> 01:41:19,222 Listen to me. I'm trying to say-- 2289 01:41:19,222 --> 01:41:21,825 I know what you're trying to say. 2290 01:41:22,392 --> 01:41:23,426 Stop it. 2291 01:41:24,227 --> 01:41:25,462 Don't say it. Please. 2292 01:41:28,431 --> 01:41:30,433 I'm not ready to stop hating you. 2293 01:41:31,267 --> 01:41:32,335 Yet. 2294 01:41:33,737 --> 01:41:34,804 Yet? 2295 01:41:38,775 --> 01:41:40,477 I like that, “yet.” 158154

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