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1
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:14,097
Okay, we've been
around and around on this.
2
00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:16,307
We can make this a whole
hell of a lot easier
3
00:00:16,391 --> 00:00:19,686
if you just answer one simple question.
4
00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:22,188
How old is Betty Hart?
5
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:24,816
And I'm telling you
that is not a simple question.
6
00:00:24,899 --> 00:00:26,484
I'm going to ask it again.
7
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,570
How old is Betty Hart?
8
00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:32,907
Are you really sure
you want to go down this road?
9
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:35,326
I just want one of you people
10
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:38,288
to give me a straight answer.
11
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,832
How old is Betty Hart?!
12
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:43,001
And I'm telling you, I have no idea
13
00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,919
what the hell y'all are talking about.
14
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,339
Now, I'm starving--
somebody go fetch me some Corn Nuts
15
00:00:47,422 --> 00:00:49,257
and a diet Dr. Mister before I go
16
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:51,134
"hangry lady" on your butts.
17
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:22,916
Bassett. Bassett!
18
00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:25,377
Slow down. why are you on tilt today?
19
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,587
I mean, are the guys making fun
of your cross-eyes again?
20
00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:29,047
I do not have cross-eyes.
21
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:31,091
One just gets lazy after lunch.
22
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:33,426
Anyway, remember
the Winston-Salem killings?
23
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,053
The string of drug-related murders
24
00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:36,346
with the crazy meth gang, yeah.
25
00:01:36,429 --> 00:01:37,514
I mean, all we ever had on 'em
26
00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:38,848
was a picture of an RV.
27
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,558
Well, I've got the RV and...
28
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,769
I've got the meth gang right over there.
29
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:46,564
That does not look like a meth gang.
30
00:01:46,648 --> 00:01:48,900
They were driving the RV,
they were trying to buy meth,
31
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:52,737
and witnesses heard them kill
and then throw out the body.
32
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,031
Well, I guess we got to hear
what they have to say.
33
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,659
Are you gonna start talking
or am I gonna blow my stack?
34
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,327
Are you... Sorry.
35
00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:01,329
-Are you talking to me or her?
-You!
36
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,206
Ooh, you better be careful
because this one?
37
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,833
All emotions.
38
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:07,794
Oh, I'm a huge fan of the whole
"good cop, bad cop" thing.
39
00:02:07,877 --> 00:02:09,713
Is he gonna kick a trash can?
40
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,214
I love it when they kick trash cans.
41
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:14,467
Why don't you just walk us
through it one more time?
42
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:17,470
Oh, me? I'm not telling
you donut chasers nothing.
43
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:18,513
Aah!
44
00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:20,807
Perfect. Oh, I love it.
45
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,727
Love the rage. Okay, I'll tell you
everything you want to know.
46
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,854
Well, my gram's birthday was coming up.
47
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:27,897
And we were giving her crap about it,
48
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,941
like we do every year.
49
00:02:30,025 --> 00:02:31,359
Mother, your birthday's coming up.
50
00:02:31,443 --> 00:02:32,610
Have you started planning the party?
51
00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,279
Ooh, have you been
putting out your feelers
52
00:02:34,362 --> 00:02:35,822
to the male stripper community?
53
00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:38,575
"None of your damn business"?
54
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:40,952
Yeah, Gram. Or will this be the year
55
00:02:41,036 --> 00:02:43,830
people actually learn which
birthday they're celebrating?
56
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:46,416
Well, not that I owe
you fools an explanation,
57
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,543
but Betty Hart's just gonna have
58
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:50,837
a quiet birthday at home this year.
59
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:54,174
I've already broken the news
to Richard Gere via Titters.
60
00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:56,426
I'm just gonna spend a quiet night
61
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,470
vacuuming my bedspread.
62
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,431
Something's weird.
63
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:02,682
Very weird.
64
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,726
She always wants a huge party.
65
00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,269
Why not this year?
66
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,313
Could this year be a milestone birthday?
67
00:03:09,773 --> 00:03:11,608
So you're telling me you have
68
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:13,443
no idea how old your own mother is?
69
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:14,736
Oh, God doesn't even know.
70
00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,112
She'll kill you if you get close.
71
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,282
Oh, Mom, this banner got all jumbled.
72
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,700
So silly.
73
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:21,993
Can you just grab the numbers
74
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,370
and stick 'em in the middle there?
75
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:27,540
Nice try.
76
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,212
Betty Hart?
77
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,923
It's me, Rand Carlson.
78
00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:37,425
We went to high school together, remember?
79
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,302
Class of 19...
80
00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,682
He'll be fine.
Get in!
81
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:46,559
Come on, just tell me
how old my mother is.
82
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:48,603
Let's just say, that whole thing
with the cross?
83
00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,979
That's nothing compared to what your mom
84
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,272
would do to me if I told.
85
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,524
So you're not telling?
86
00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:53,775
Even having this conversation is
87
00:03:53,858 --> 00:03:55,527
freaking me out.
88
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:04,953
Okay, so where are we at?
89
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:07,205
Uh, last week she let it slip
that she got drunk
90
00:04:07,288 --> 00:04:10,375
and "caught finger herpes"
at Hands Across America,
91
00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:13,128
which was...
92
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:15,130
1986, so assuming
93
00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,048
she was legal drinking age in '86...
94
00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:18,550
You can't assume Betty Hart would wait
95
00:04:18,633 --> 00:04:20,135
till legal drinking age to get drunk.
96
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,387
Oh, so that goes in the dead-end pile.
97
00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:24,264
Congratulations to all of us
98
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:26,182
and our futures and the bountiful whimsy
99
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:27,976
that all of life holds because...
100
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,437
I got us an RV we can use for free!
101
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,064
Let's go see the untamed beauty
102
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,983
of the Outer Banks.
103
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,443
What?
104
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,319
Okay, tell me about this RV.
105
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,113
Explain it to me like I'm a two-year-old.
106
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:42,657
Well, an RV
107
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:44,951
is, like, a "weally" big car...
108
00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,579
-Not literally!
-Okay, I'm sorry.
I don't know how it works.
109
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,373
I've never been a perp before.
So...
110
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,750
I was at work,
111
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:53,835
cleaning up a nasty glue spill...
112
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,754
Bro, guess who has two thumbs
113
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:58,173
and just got back from Dollywood.
114
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,175
Oh, man, you went to Dollywood?
115
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:01,885
Yep.
And get this.
116
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,762
I didn't have to spend a dime on hotels.
117
00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:06,139
A guy just lent me his RV for free.
118
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:07,724
What? Who?
119
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,601
Just a guy.
A good Samaritan.
120
00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,936
He was even disappointed
when I brought it back.
121
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,189
He asked me to find someone else
who could take it for a while.
122
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,815
Oh, hell yeah!
123
00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,525
It's been my life's dream
to drive my girls
124
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,402
to the Outer Banks.
125
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,905
They got a campground there,
right on the ocean,
126
00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,574
called Saint Clair Landing.
If you got an RV,
127
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:27,160
you can sleep so close to the water
128
00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:28,787
you can hear a fish fart.
129
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,872
Well, the man who can make fishes fart
130
00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:32,957
near you is right over there.
131
00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:37,170
Hmm.
Trav, I don't know.
132
00:05:37,253 --> 00:05:38,755
I mean, can we trust this guy?
133
00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:40,340
-I don't even know him.
-I'll tell you what.
134
00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:44,469
I'll take a photo
of his psychic energy field.
135
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,137
Okay, that looks like...
136
00:05:46,221 --> 00:05:48,390
light Silver, the color
137
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,892
of a nurturing, spiritually awake person.
138
00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,310
Mmm-k-kaboom!
139
00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:55,188
Hey, hoss, does your pony
still need a rider?
140
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,523
You-you mean the RV?
141
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:57,857
Sure does.
142
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,442
And when would you need it back?
143
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,236
Oh, I don't ever need it back.
144
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:07,826
You knew nothing
about this alleged stranger
145
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:10,620
who allegedly just gave you his RV?
146
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,497
Oh, we knew all we needed to know.
147
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,165
We had his aura.
148
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:16,000
-What was his name?
-I don't know!
149
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,836
Unbelievable!
150
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,547
Ooh, did he kick the trash can?
151
00:06:20,630 --> 00:06:21,965
Yep, he did!
152
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,842
I'm sorry, I should've got his name.
153
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:26,052
See, that kind of thinking
is why you two are cops
154
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,346
and why I'm about to get
a full-cavity search.
155
00:06:28,430 --> 00:06:29,806
Which I deserve.
156
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,057
Nope.
Go ahead.
157
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,642
My holes are an open book.
158
00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:33,893
Close your holes!
159
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:35,895
These people don't even know
160
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,230
basic facts about each other.
161
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,441
I'm telling you they are not a family.
162
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:40,608
They are a crime syndicate.
163
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,152
And a brilliant one at that.
164
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:44,571
Aw, boo-boo, just because
you arrest three or more people
165
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,114
doesn't make it a "syndicate."
166
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,907
They could just be a stupid group.
167
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:49,784
These people are acting too stupid
168
00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,661
to be stupid.
169
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,246
Road trips, you say you love 'em?
170
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,622
Your whole family loves them?
171
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:57,375
Oh, man, yeah, do they ever.
172
00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:59,461
An RV is a car with a toilet in it.
173
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,504
So we're gonna be
in the rolling toilet all day,
174
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,715
and then sleep all night
in the rolling toilet?
175
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,383
It's not a rolling toilet.
176
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:07,427
It's an RV, and you love RVs.
177
00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:09,471
Remember?
When we saw that RV once,
178
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:12,223
and you said you wonder how much
human feces is in that thing?
179
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,059
Yeah, 'cause I was grossed out.
180
00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:16,561
Well, forgive me for thinking
we shared a curiosity
181
00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:17,979
about volumes of things.
182
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,940
Mom, an RV could be how we finally crack
183
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,442
the Gram age case.
184
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,778
Tight quarters, nowhere to storm off to
185
00:07:24,861 --> 00:07:26,363
when she feels us closing in,
186
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,407
the stench of toilet deodorizer
clouding her brain.
187
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:32,118
She'll be off her game,
and she'll slip up for sure.
188
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,787
Oh, Vi.
That is brilliant.
189
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:35,246
You know what?
I'm in.
190
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,706
Let's take a birthday road trip.
191
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,416
Yes!
Let's find out
192
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,335
how much feces that thing can hold.
193
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:41,336
Oh, Lord.
194
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:51,012
And that's how you get rid of evidence.
195
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:54,182
Wait, I left stuff in there I want.
196
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,558
What did you leave in there?
197
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:58,228
-Slim.
-Slim has a new family now.
198
00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,397
He'll eat them alive.
199
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,065
Yes, he will.
200
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:10,448
We are on the road, ladies.
201
00:08:10,532 --> 00:08:11,908
Kitchens and bathrooms should never
202
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,243
be this close together.
203
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,994
You should not be able to drop a deuce
204
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,454
and cook ground beef at the same time.
205
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:17,956
Eyes on the prize, Mom.
206
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:19,541
This trip is about clocking Gram's age
207
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,875
once and for all.
208
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,460
And if the smell gets too much,
209
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,295
we always have these.
210
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,880
Where did you get a gas mask?
211
00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,465
Uh, wait.
What do you mean?
212
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,718
It's my gas mask.
You guys didn't bring yours?
213
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,553
Why do you even own a gas mask?
214
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,638
Because the world is a tinderbox
215
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,932
that could blow up at any second?
216
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,393
So we all have gas masks?
217
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:42,063
Huh, must be a generational thing.
218
00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:48,111
What the hell is going on in this thing?
219
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,363
A Styrofoam cup of loose bullets,
220
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:53,199
a collection of wigs, 666 incense burner.
221
00:08:53,283 --> 00:08:55,201
Autographed picture of David Schwimmer?
222
00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,536
Who are these people?
223
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,121
Oh, they're good people.
224
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,456
Because Travis took an aura picture
225
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,374
and it was light silver.
226
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:08,381
Hey, excuse me,
I'm looking for a second opinion
227
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:11,843
on this aura photo--
either the colors got darker overnight,
228
00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:14,596
or my eyes are going bye-bye boo-boo.
229
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,765
Hmm, yes.
230
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:19,100
Most people don't wait long enough
for these to develop.
231
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:21,269
Follow me into the light.
232
00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:23,355
And please don't step on my hair.
233
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,277
Well, usually dark silver
234
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,029
represents someone, mmm,
235
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:33,323
incapable of feeling remorse,
236
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,700
aka, pure evil.
237
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,452
Typically meth dealers.
238
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,204
Or telemarketers.
239
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,414
Whoa, the difference between light
240
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:42,957
and dark silver ain't no joke.
241
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,543
Yeah.
Plus, he's got no teeth.
242
00:09:45,627 --> 00:09:47,462
That's a meth tell right there.
243
00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:48,630
Oh, my God!
244
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,173
what did I do to my friend?!
245
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,549
Wayne!
246
00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:55,303
-Aah!
-Gram.
247
00:09:55,387 --> 00:09:57,138
It's just a wig head.
248
00:09:57,222 --> 00:10:00,308
-Cool wig though.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
249
00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,644
Oh, jackpot.
250
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:05,814
♪ Are you ready
for the thing called love ♪
251
00:10:05,897 --> 00:10:07,816
♪ Don't come from me and you ♪
252
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,776
♪ It comes from up above ♪
253
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:10,819
Hee-hee!
254
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:13,154
I love this song, y'all!
255
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,740
Yeah, remember
the first time you heard it?
256
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,117
What were you wearing?
257
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,285
Like, approximately what size were you?
258
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:20,745
Were you shopping
in the Junior's department?
259
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:22,789
Or were you adulting it up
at The Limited by then?
260
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:23,873
Could you afford Wilson's Leather?
261
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,792
Mm.
Describe your hair.
262
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,210
Was it an asymmetrical do?
263
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,962
Or pouf bangs?
264
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,172
Banana clip? Scrunchie?
Baby doll barrettes?
265
00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:33,508
Oh, I had a shaved head like G.I. Jane.
266
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:35,385
'Cause I'm a warrior
267
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,470
at keeping people
out my personal business.
268
00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:43,101
Ew! Ew! Ew!
269
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,562
Ah, sorry for all the sneezing.
270
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,564
The disco-dander
from these vintage clothes
271
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,357
is up in my sinuses.
272
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:51,693
Here, Wayne. I probably
got an allergy pill in here somewheres.
273
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:54,738
Gonna take a minute,
I got 'em memorized by shape.
274
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:56,823
Headache, vagina ache,
275
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,533
diarhear...
276
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,994
Hey, Little Ms. Valley of the Dolls.
277
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:02,537
Where'd you get the unmarked pills?
278
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:03,913
Or am I gonna have to track 'em
279
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:05,206
back to the narcos that supplied you?
280
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,751
Well, these little
green gel tabs are for gas,
281
00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,462
so I'd look up Pablo Tootscobar
282
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:13,631
or Joaquin "El Panty Burps" Guzman.
283
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:16,468
Let's talk about
your little stop at Costco.
284
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:18,386
What?
I've never been to Costco.
285
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,221
What even is a Costco?
286
00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:23,308
We have a video of you walking into one.
287
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:26,227
Well, if anyone can just say
they have a video of something,
288
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,980
then I have video of you
walking into your own butt.
289
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,065
How you like that?
290
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,524
Check and mate.
291
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:36,071
Hmm. Oh!
292
00:11:36,154 --> 00:11:37,572
Yeah, can I get a box of Sudafed
293
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,366
super quick, please?
294
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,785
Are you kidding me?
One box?
295
00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:42,786
That's all I need.
296
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,872
50% off all pharmacy purchases.
297
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,541
You don't waste a 50 percenter
on one of anything.
298
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,668
We'll take a case of Sudafed.
299
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:52,545
No.
Two cases.
300
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,798
Ma'am, Sudafed's only one per customer.
301
00:11:56,299 --> 00:11:57,300
Mother, don't make a scene.
302
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,886
I am making a scene!
303
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:07,727
♪ You keep saying... ♪
304
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,187
Violet, what the hell?!
305
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:12,148
This is the song they played
at the compound in Waco.
306
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,150
-This will break Gram.
-♪ These boots are made for walkin' ♪
307
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,779
-Oh, that's my jam!
-♪ And that's just what they'll do ♪
308
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:21,282
♪ One of these days
these boots are gonna ♪
309
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:22,784
♪ Walk all over you ♪
310
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,369
♪ Are you ready, boots? ♪
311
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,748
♪ You keep saying-you keep saying ♪
312
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,458
♪ You got something... ♪
313
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:32,627
♪ Boots are gonna walk all over you ♪
314
00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,713
♪ Boots are gonna walk all over ♪
315
00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:36,548
♪ Are you ready, boots? Start walking ♪
316
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,384
♪ You keep saying
you got something for me ♪
317
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,136
♪ You keep saying ♪
318
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,722
♪ You got something for me ♪
319
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:46,641
♪ Boots are
gonna-boots are gonna ♪
320
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:50,228
-♪ Boots are gonna... ♪
321
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:57,861
♪ Walk all over you. ♪
322
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,492
It's going to work.
323
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,745
-It is going to work!
-♪ You keep saying... ♪
324
00:13:06,828 --> 00:13:07,746
She's gonna break
325
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:08,747
and tell us how old she is.
326
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,582
But not on Mother.
327
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,667
Don't think it worked at Waco either.
Didn't they blow up?
328
00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,335
♪ But confess ♪
329
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:16,087
-♪ You've been messing... ♪
-Oh, forget it.
330
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:17,756
It's only driving us crazy.
331
00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:21,092
Let's not be so sure.
332
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:23,511
Hey, Gram, how old are you?
333
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:26,681
All right.
It's finally time to tell you...
334
00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,142
...that if you ask again,
335
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:31,519
I will throw you out
of this moving vehicle.
336
00:13:34,773 --> 00:13:36,733
911.
-I don't have much time.
337
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,277
There's an evil RV
headed for the Outer Banks.
338
00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:41,321
Dark Silver Alert.
Not Amber.
339
00:13:41,404 --> 00:13:44,240
-Are you saying Amber Alert?
-That didn't come out right.
340
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,910
Look, Wayne Edwards
has an RV full of meth.
341
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:47,911
He's taking his family
342
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:49,329
to sleep with the fishes.
343
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:50,830
Actually, I'm not sure
why I said it that way.
344
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,082
That sounds suspicious.
345
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,458
This is a ticking time bomb.
346
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:54,459
Oh, that's bad, too.
347
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,086
Oh, kill me!
348
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,131
Okay, that'll be $28.50.
349
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,050
Aren't you forgetting something?
350
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,218
I don't think so.
351
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:05,178
Oh, so anybody can just walk in here
352
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,514
and buy spirits without showing ID?
353
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,724
You should be ashamed of yourself.
354
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:12,852
Okay, Miss. Let's see some ID.
355
00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:14,562
Hope we don't have to call your parents.
356
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:16,648
Cha-boogity boogity!
357
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:18,316
Ha-ha!
Got you, you sneaky...
358
00:14:22,946 --> 00:14:24,364
Oh, come on.
359
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:27,367
All right, you... whoever you are.
360
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,661
Do you want to tell me how you ended up
361
00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,247
-with the driver's license
of a dead woman?
-No.
362
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,417
You're gonna love this, B.
363
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,169
My sister's a mail carrier in Winston,
364
00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:41,756
and she goes with a cop
who's burnt out and on drugs,
365
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,259
and he got a driver's license
off a murder victim.
366
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,760
I like where this is going.
367
00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:47,929
I haven't even told you the best part.
368
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:50,765
The victim is 38 years old.
369
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:52,434
-And her name?
370
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,810
Betty Hart.
371
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:58,064
A legit driver's license
from a younger dead me?
372
00:14:58,148 --> 00:14:59,399
Thank you, Lord,
373
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:03,486
for delivering me
a murdered woman with my name.
374
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:10,493
So you're just gonna
sit there and say nothing.
375
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,870
What is there to say?
376
00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:13,371
It's my rightful ID.
377
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,248
Now, why don't you ask
my daughter and granddaughter
378
00:15:15,331 --> 00:15:16,708
why they would lure me out on the road
379
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,793
with the promise
of a family birthday celebration
380
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:21,588
only to reveal that
it was all a dumb game?
381
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:24,174
I'll ask the questions here.
382
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,260
-Why don't you tell me
about the black bag?
-Oh, that.
383
00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:31,431
Well, after the fiasco
with my real ID, I was
384
00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:33,350
understandably peeved.
385
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,185
You bunch of butts.
386
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,519
Y'all had me believing
387
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,980
you wanted to do something nice
for my birthday.
388
00:15:39,064 --> 00:15:41,524
I would love to do something
nice if it could be normal,
389
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,401
like a normal mom
having a normal birthday.
390
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:44,903
Everything's about you,
391
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,863
and yet no one's even allowed
to know your damn age.
392
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:48,990
Where's your real driver's license?
393
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:51,326
Oh, you mean this?
394
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,078
You'll never get it!
395
00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,167
Aah!
396
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,710
Giant snake.
Giant snake!
397
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,216
-Oh, my God. Get it out of here.
398
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,842
Show no mercy!
399
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:10,428
I'm getting that driver's license!
400
00:16:10,512 --> 00:16:13,515
Mom, forget about
the damn driver's license.
-You'll never get it!
401
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,017
Why is this argument
about a driver's license
402
00:16:16,101 --> 00:16:17,602
and not about a snake?
403
00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:19,896
Just point me towards the snake.
404
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,981
Here, snake!
Eat this!
405
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:28,029
Die, you son of a bitch!
406
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,864
You little bastard, take it!
407
00:16:29,948 --> 00:16:31,199
Yeah, take it!
408
00:16:31,282 --> 00:16:32,701
Yeah, I killed you!
409
00:16:32,784 --> 00:16:34,452
Killed you dead!
410
00:16:39,124 --> 00:16:41,793
Okay, now let's open up
that snake and get that ID.
411
00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:46,673
No! Just get in the RV
so we can get to the stupid ocean!
412
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,017
There!
413
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,144
This is what I wanted to show y'all.
414
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:02,313
Can you at least put aside
your petty scheming and fighting
415
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:06,359
long enough to appreciate
something bigger than us?
416
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:13,950
-I'm 53.
-What?
417
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:17,620
Since y'all were so hell-bent
on getting the number, I'm 53.
418
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,621
Ya happy?
419
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,707
Just 53?
420
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:24,794
Oh. We just thought it
was a bigger birthday.
421
00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:30,133
53 is how old my mother was
when she passed.
422
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,761
So, yeah, it's a big one.
423
00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:35,555
That's why I didn't
want to celebrate this year.
424
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,557
And if you cared about me at all,
425
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,685
you'd let me be whatever age I want.
426
00:17:41,895 --> 00:17:43,897
Whoa.
What?
427
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,654
I got 'em! Look at this.
428
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:54,783
We have an RV that has been used
in several drug-related crimes.
429
00:17:54,866 --> 00:17:56,576
We have the inhabitants of that RV
430
00:17:56,659 --> 00:17:58,870
attempting to purchase
40 pounds of pseudoephedrine.
431
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:00,663
We have a dead woman in Winston-Salem.
432
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,499
We have a drugged-out
old lunatic holding her ID.
433
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:04,667
And we have footage of these animals
434
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,336
disposing of another body,
which we're gonna find
435
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,713
any minute now, once we
track down that landfill.
436
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:10,632
We got 'em!
Hook, line and sphincter.
437
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,592
Detective, we tracked down that bag.
438
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:16,221
-It is a snake. A huge one.
-Wh-what?
439
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,555
And they found this in it.
440
00:18:17,639 --> 00:18:21,559
"Betty Hart. Greenpoint,
North Carolina. Age 53."
441
00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:23,436
I think I know what happened here.
442
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:27,065
Ms. Hart, this is obviously
your driver's license.
443
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:30,151
My guess is you bought
the other one on the black market.
444
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,987
Which is still a crime,
but easy to understand.
445
00:18:33,071 --> 00:18:35,365
So if you'll just confess to that,
446
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:36,991
you and your family can be on your way.
447
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,912
I never seen that thing before in my life.
448
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:45,375
Just let her go.
449
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,585
No!
I need to hear someone say it.
450
00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:49,838
I just need you to tell me.
451
00:18:49,921 --> 00:18:51,673
How old is Betty Hart?
452
00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:55,343
38. My mother is 38.
453
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,887
Jenny, I can see that you're, what,
454
00:18:57,971 --> 00:18:59,180
in your 20s, maybe 30?
455
00:18:59,264 --> 00:19:00,515
My God.
Thank you.
456
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:03,518
So you're telling me that your mom had you
457
00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:06,730
when she was, at maximum...
...eight years old?
458
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,399
Yes, that's right.
She's 38.
459
00:19:10,984 --> 00:19:12,402
Yup, she's 38.
460
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,904
She is 38.
461
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:16,823
What is wrong with you people?!
462
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:20,410
-You really want
to kick that can, don't you?
-No.
463
00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:23,705
Aah!
464
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:28,084
Why is it that no one in your family
465
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,836
will tell me the truth?
466
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:32,005
No one?
-Yes.
467
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,424
Not even that little troublemaker Violet,
468
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,426
who I should have fed to that snake?
469
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,887
Your entire family swears you're 38.
470
00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:40,722
Your entire family.
471
00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:43,308
They do?
How sweet of 'em...
472
00:19:44,225 --> 00:19:47,645
...to recognize my legal age.
473
00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,397
If you're lying about this,
474
00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:51,316
how do I know you're not lying
about all of it?
475
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,442
Who's to say?
476
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,194
Maybe I make my meth with my family
477
00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:55,653
in a rolling boom boom bus.
478
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:57,739
And I love them more than anything.
479
00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,115
Except meth.
480
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,159
-Uh...
-Use your good eye, dummy.
481
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,494
They've got her back.
482
00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:03,912
Like a crime syndicate?
483
00:20:03,995 --> 00:20:06,539
How 'bout like a family?
484
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,625
You got to let 'em go!
485
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,377
D-Dark silver. Uh, wrong aura.
486
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,128
Tracked you guys
through the police scanner.
487
00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:13,588
Uh, this is all my fault.
488
00:20:13,672 --> 00:20:15,215
I had the RV first.
489
00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:16,883
So it's your RV?
490
00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:18,885
Uh... nope.
491
00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:26,351
Thanks for saving us, Trav.
492
00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:28,395
Thanks for sticking around
for my interrogation.
493
00:20:28,478 --> 00:20:30,313
That one guy's a real hothead.
494
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,691
Their trash can budget must be insane.
495
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:41,282
♪ Have you ever watched a moonbeam ♪
496
00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:46,955
♪ As it slid across your windowpane ♪
497
00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:54,170
♪ Or struggled with a bit of rain ♪
498
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:57,841
♪ Or danced about the weather vane ♪
499
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:01,261
♪ Or sat along a moving train ♪
500
00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:04,347
♪ And wondered where the train has been ♪
501
00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:35,920
502
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,007
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